I think it’s great to see the process before the ‘we’re pregnant videos’ as it’s something nobody really does which is interesting! I’m not trying to get pregnant yet, but I can imagine if I was, I’d really appreciate hearing other people’s experiences and affirming that getting pregnant isn’t necessarily instant, it can take lots of prep/work/effort/time/money. Announcements don’t necessarily tell that story.
Yeah. My sister and best friend both got pregnant while on contraception, and it wasnt planned for either of them. My friend didn't even plan on having kids - ever. And then you had me... Wanting children, actively trying and finally after 10 months it worked but every single month you're like "am I getting my period this month?"... Now I'm 19 weeks pregnant but oh boy, did it bother me 🙈
I love you just casually mentioning how you and Dan used condoms until you both got tested - yay for normalising knowing your STI status and discussing it with your partner! Thank you being so vulnerable in this video, both about the fact you *thought* you would get pregnant straight away/super easily and while you know that theoretically that it can take up for a year to happen that's very different to the reality of having been trying for sixth months AND the fact that you didn't use condoms for very long and just used the withdrawal method! Sex education really screws us over so much and it's really interesting to hear you talk about that in the context of trying to get pregnant. I also love all the nerdy stats about how effective different methods of contraception are!
It’s so important! I’m the mum of my tribe and always mention Pap smears, std testing, different protection, talking really openly about sex with my son and my friends etc. because of all of this stuff, I’ve come to realise I want to be a sex and intimacy counsellor. I’m hoping to start studying in a year or so, depending on my business. But it’s my biggest dream. I’d love to help couples and individuals!
I don't know a single person, including myself, that didn't secretly think they would get pregnant on the first try 😂 our egos really try hard to avoid being wounded, but it's just the way life is, not a reflection of us or our partners and our actions... even perfectly timed intercourse with all the healthy lifestyle can lead to nowhere! and that's harder to accept, but again, life is funny that way. I love that you are helping to normalize these conversations, whenever I tell our story I always include that it took us 10 months/9 cycles and whole lot of uncertainty in a pandemic year already full of it. It can be so hard! Lots of self and partner care is needed. Side note, I hate hate hate latex condoms, so uncomfortable! But the ones made out of the non-latex material (Skyn brand, I believe) are awesome and soft and don't smell. Way easier to use those after a long time of not using condoms at all!
Maybe that way of thinking comes from the years before trying to get pregnant when you were afraid that you might get pregnant if you forgot the pill for one day or the condom broke or whatever. It's so in our minds that every little mistake will lead to pregnancy that we think "now that I'm not using protection it must work right away"
tbh that's something i really liked about claudia and jess' announcement video; i feel like i only ever see stories where it didn't take long to conceive, which confused me because it contradicts the figures i've heard. i think it's more people don't go into detail if takes them longer bc there's shame around it (which is a load of rubbish!).
Yes! I was like Hannah where we stopped using protection before we began actively trying and I was still so hopeful with every little nausea spell or hurting breasts that I was pregnant and a but let down when I wasn’t and it’s worse when you actually start trying. I definitely agree the self and partner care are so important during this trial time when the future you want is so uncertain.
I know couples that cant get pregnant after years of trying. They get tested to figure out what is the problem but there Is nothing wrong. Then they get pregnant when they least expect It. Conception Is just weird.
Exactly this happened with me and my wife. It’s called “non-specific infertility”, which is just a medical way of saying “we have no Idea”. 2 years of trying, we were about to start IVF when my wife got pregnant.
@@pixxie__ my bestie got pregnant after one night stand guy was just 0,5 sec "late" to pull out 🙄 yet so many our friends couldnt get pregnant for so long time and they were trying everything ... bizzare how it is ...really...
Me and my wife tried for 2 years. Ended up having IVF after being told it won't happen for us. Went well and we had twins. Stopped using protection and fell pregnant with our 3rd naturally. When trying just relax and enjoy. We put so much pressure on our selfs.
That's amazing, but keep in mind that telling people to 'relax and it'll happen' sucks when it doesn't happen. Happy you got your babies though! :) Congrats!!
@@heathercole9851 i understand how stressful it is and just how much pressure we put on ourselves going through it. When we didn't have that pressure it just happened.
Getting pregnant a second time is often easier. Your body is more used to the whole process. And yes stress is such a big factor. Only after a year of trying at the right times it is recommended to see a doctor. Try to enjoy the process of that first year as much as possible.
I’m not interested in ever having kids and usually talking about it makes me super uncomfortable, but you’re so open and honest about your situation and so many details that it feels super natural and I’m glad I can still learn about things that could possibly effect me someday (even if it don’t want them to lol)
Your honesty is the most refreshing thing on the internet lol admitting to us the internal monologue we all have and don't even admit to ourselves 🙈 so profound
Oh man, this is striking a nerve. I had regular periods before going on the implant. I got it taken out in 2017 and it's only since September 2020 that I've started to have signs of ovulating again and having not as long but still irregular periods. My partner and I have nearly always had unprotected sex and absolutely nothing happened in all that time. We have kind of made peace with the fact that maybe we won't have children as we want to prioritise buying a house over saving for fertility treatments and we are a family regardless. I also feel pretty fulfilled working with children. I hope you will be lucky soon, Hannah and Dan, and get pregnant. We're all thinking of you and thanks for sharing your journey. ❤️
The reflection on the clips from back in August is so vulnerable. Thank you for sharing! And thank you for linking Melanie in the box down below haha. Lastly, thank you for being so honest about being "weak" and using the withdrawal method. I have no wish to fall pregnant right now, but I also don't react well to hormonal contraception; sometimes me and my partner are lazy and pull out. It was nice to hear someone resonate with that:')
My last period came on day 37, when usually it’s between day 28-32, so I FULLY understand the imagining period cramps!! I swear by day 35 I was hallucinating wetness in my underwear 🤦🏻♀️ (I was completely safe that month too BUT SOMEONE HAS TO BE THE 0.001%!!!)
So when I was trying, i spoke to my doctor and she suggested forgetting about dates/ovulation and just have sex every 2 days from the end of my period until the start of my next one, and i got pregnant that same month. Just my experience, keeping everything crossed for you ❤️
When you re told to be careful with sex for so long or you might get pregnant that one time so when you actually aren't even after that one month it still feels like a surprise when it's completely normal. It took us 3 months and I realised how lucky we were after speaking to other parents stories.
Trying for a baby is one of the biggest rollercoasters you will ever face. I got pregnant within a few months but had a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks - no one warns you that a positive pregnancy test does not always equal a baby. Wishing you all the best on your conception journey!
You being so raw about your feelings on the internet is the most amazing. The best part about your videos is the perfect balance of personal experience and data-driven content. Keep these videos coming, Hannah!
I used withdrawal as contraception for a couple years, and it has always annoyed me how dismissive lots of sex ed is of it. I appreciated you showing the actual numbers. For some people, it is a good option and shouldn’t be thrown out right away. For me, I liked that it was non-hormonal because I was having other health issues and needed to be off meds for a while to sort out what was going on. My partner wasn’t comfortable with methods that included spermicide and we had tried condoms but never could get used to them. I had a problem with an IUD before and wasn’t ready to try that again quite yet, so a copper IUD wasn’t an option. We were really careful with the withdrawal and I kept Plan B on hand just in case. We also kept an eye in my cycle and avoided sex during my fertile window. Also, while we weren’t looking to have more kids (we already had 2) it wouldn’t have been terrible if we had a third. For us, it was a great option and I shouldn’t be made to feel stupid for trusting a method that “doesn’t work” when it can work well enough for some purposes.
Same here. My husband and I have been using it for almost a decade. It still feels very taboo! I have had 3 "wait a second..." moments and used Plan B. BUT, I want to mention that for my fellow plus size women, Ella, is a great option as Plan B stops being effective at 180 lbs. You can order it online via the RUBYPRJKT. I needed it hust once and it was easy to use and shipped in 36 hrs.
I like that you talk about withdrawal! my bf and I use withdrawal as a little extra precautionary add-on to me taking the mini pill just as an effort to eliminate that little rest chance of getting pregnant on the pill
Another thing to note on those stats on contraception is if you use two or more methods (and quite a few people do) then the chances of pregancy decrease exponentially. This is because you can aggregate the chances of each method. For example, using the pill has a 9 in 100 chance of pregnancy over one year of typical use, but if you also use condoms with a 18 in 100 chance, multiplying those probabilities together means you have a 1.6 in 100 chance of getting pregnant in a year of typical use. So if you're not trying to get pregnant then consider using more than one method.
Good point though i want to raise awareness to other people with OCD that you shouldn't use it as reassurance or at least be aware that it might trigger your OCD. E.g. if you're afraid to get pregnant, one has to live with the uncertainty that it might happen. Otherwise it can spiral put of control (e.g. stacking multiple contraceptive methods, buying pregnancy tests in huge numbers, taking two or three pills instead of one every day)..
@@Poesyfan I'd like to mention (sure you know already, but anyway) that taking 2 or 3 birth control pills instead of 1 does not help to decrease the chance of getting pregnant, and it can make you sick. Stacking multiple contraceptive methods is only safe and works only for some combinations of methods (e.g. hormonal birth control or an IUD, combined with condoms)
My partner and I use two forms, implant and condom. I’ve always done this, since I was 16! Tbf for 6 of those years I lived in countries where abortion was illegal (morning after pill was also illegal for 3 years of that) so I’m hyper aware. Also my mum got pregnant using just condoms when she was 16, so I’ve had a drilled into me to be careful.
so i'm not trying to get pregnant but i recently came off the pill and switched to natural contraception (temperature and cervical mucus) and it's so crazy realising how small the time frame is where you can actually get pregnant. reading about this method made me learn more about my body than sex ed in school ever did.
I also check my temperature and cervical mucus, and I just find it so informative about my own body and its cycles. It makes me wonder why it's not taught more regularly, not even in the context of contraception but just for getting to know your own cycles! I have quite irregular cycles, but I know that my period will start 14 days after I've ovulated, and based on that I almost always correctly predict the start of my period to within a 24 or perhaps 36 hour window.
Same here, it's brilliant, I have been doing it for allmost two years now and I trust it even more than the pill by now. And referring to what Hannah said about the boobs, it's the same for me, they start hurting around the ovulation day.
We were taught that in school as "the rhythm method". It was a Catholic school but you have to include contraception on the curriculum here, so I guess they were trying to get round that in a Catholic way (they did also have to give us leaflets of other forms of contraception tho)
I'm starting my own hormonal journey soon: getting the contraceptive implant on saturday. At 18 this is the first big health decision I've made for myself, and the sense of agency/independence it has brought makes me so happy! I haven't even thought about how scary/painful the insertion process is because I'm just so excited. Best of luck on your journey Hannah!
I totally feel you. It's been over a year of trying but not really trying that hard...and nothing has happened. It's so much harder for some people to conceive. I have a feeling this is going to be a long journey.
I'm an older child and I was always told how my parents tried for years before I came along, after many tries and fails. Fascinating how that different narrative affected my view of trying to conceive- that it is sooo difficult. Wishing you all the best Hannah!
Thanks for updating us, and thanks for all your vulnerability. It took me a little over a year of trying for my first kid- it turned out my thyroid was off. So if it does take longer than a year, maybe get your thyroid tested (including antibodies- I have Hashimoto's, which didn't show up in my thyroid numbers, but the antibodies still kept me from getting pregnant). 2 months after starting meds, I was pregnant with my daughter. Then with my second, I got pregnant right away!
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Girl don't be shy or nervous about telling any of us! None of us will judge, pressure or hate on you about anything! Hopefully no one will drive you crazy asking if you're pregnant yet lol and everyone will wait for the day you decide to tell us you are! If anyone does bother you about it then ignore them and don't feel like you have to tell us anything you don't want to
Thank you for that little tidbit about frustration after 6months, definitely needs to be more normalized that conception can be tough and is kind of unpredictable. Who knew that creating life, much like losing it, is not actually under our complete control?? Also very glad you brought the withdrawal discussion back 360 at the end. Totally a valid option for adults who are in the situation of not minding if they get pregnant (what I imagine could be termed "passively-trying"), but still very much not advisable to anyone trying to NOT get pregnant ("actively-NOT-trying"). I totally agree sex ed can over-employ scare tactics (honestly that's what most of our society does, "do this and you'll go to HELL/JAIL"), though I sometimes feel conflicted because unwanted teen pregnancies feel like a big problem. Anyways, great video as usual, and love the discussions it's sparking!
My conception story is that my mom and dad were married, decided to start having children so stopped using contraception and naturally got pregnant with TRIPLETS.... super easy, super fertile mom and dad.... we'll see how my journey into childbearing goes.
The Fertility Awareness Method is awesome for letting you know when you're fertile. I was very aware of my fertile window within a couple of months of charting! Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a great book for finding out about it :)
I find this take on trying to conceive so refreshing, thank you for sharing your journey with us. My partner and I are also on the same page. Our case is a bit complicated as he is a carrier of a balanced chromosome translocation. We have gotten pregnant several times on the first month of trying but pregnancies have not developed beyond the first trimester. So maybe is not that bad that it takes a bit longer but that when it does happen, it is the real deal :)
"How conventional, I'm gonna throw up." And then there's me, unmarried childfree blob not throwing up.It's okay to be conventional when it's your choice. :)
My husband and I are in the off hormones but not trying phase. We are using withdrawal, but part of me is just hoping that it happens by accident so we don't have to stress about the actual trying. We aren't planning on not caring until the summer when we buy a house and not trying until the fall once we are settled in. Currently using symptothermal methods of avoiding and it makes me frustrated sometimes as its only been 3 cycles off of my IUD and my temps are just all over the place. Anyways, rant over and I am super invested in this series as it helps normalize the whole not getting pregnant thing right away!
My dear Hanna, Thank you so much for being so open! This video comes at the moment I most needed it! We are trying to get pregnant and I literally know 5 woman who got pregnant on their first try. Including my sister and best friend. We are trying for a while now with no luck and I feel like I have no one to talk, who truly understands. Your video hits it exactly. I know average it takes a year etc. etc. I know, I know, but emotionally knowing is a lot different. Dealing with it and experiencing it, while my friend started trying at the same time, already being 23 weeks pregnant and the other being in labour right now, I feel so lonely sometimes. You make me feel so much better and less lonely. Thank you for letting me know, I am not alone! Many many thanks! The first video I saw was the one where you took your coil out and I have watch a dozen since and listening to you podcast. You came along just when I needed it and you inspire me so much! Lots of love, from The Netherlands!
My mum tried to get pregnant for 9 years with her first husband. She had rounds of IVF to no avail. They divorced then she met my dad and got pregnant straight away and her first husband also had a baby with his next partner. I've always found that crazy. We are on month 4 of trying and I have on average 45 day cycles 🤞
Perfect timing😘 I just reread the book the hormone diaries yesterday! Edit: there are people very close to me who are trying to get pregnant and I am in no position to give them any advice about it. But because I am watching this stuff at least now I can understand a little what they are going through since past few months and that really helps me in accomodating their actions, causes behind those actions and their moods. Thanks very much Hannah for sharing 💕 ❤️ lots of love!
Can I just say how helpful these videos are to me right now! I stopped the pill in August and binge watched all your previous hormone diaries as I got my first period for 10 years! We have been trying since then and still no foetus, like you we just had stories of how it happened sooner than expected and we thought it might happen immediately, and no matter how much I know this is normal it is still disheartening that we have no positive yet. I had no idea that so many factors come into play and you only have this short window the egg is even viable having spent so much of my life desperately trying to not get pregnant! These videos help me feel we aren't alone and my thoughts and feelings are normal :)
Oooof, yeah, almost 8 months and one early miscarriage into TTC and I'm really appreciating this series. I identify with it so much. My sister in law insisted that it took 2 years to get pregnant after the pill and we told her that's not how it works and then she got pregnant in two weeks. It's infuriating.
Wishing you the best! I’m six months and one miscarriage into TTC, and it’s a tough journey. It definitely stings when other people announce their good news, no matter how happy for them I am.
Omg, thank you for talking about this and making it an open thing. In the beginning of the relationship with my current partner we made some dumb decisions where we used withdrawal or just weren't careful enough in general and I am very much not proud of it and would not recommend playing with a life long responsibility like this but also it's just nice to hear that other people are the same. We have now been using a cycle computer aka tracking my base temperature for about 1.5 years and it's been great. We use condoms on fertile days and even though it is supposed to be "safe" on unfertile days, still use withdrawal then. It's worked great so far. The thing I was surprised by when we were being stupid early on is that I didn't get pregnant... like I didn't even have a scare. And that was so the opposite of what I have been taught. You're always getting taught how fast you can get pegnant and that it doesn't even need an ejaculation inside the vagina. Even now I sometimes feel so paranoid, especially on fertile days, that some sperm will somehow, despite being ever so careful, end up inside of me and I'll just concieve. I partially think that can be a good thing, if it leads people to be more aware ad careful but to be honest I don't think it does? I know I didn't think of it in those moments when we didn't use protection and now it's mainly just making me paranoid. Also it can give people false hopes for when they are trying to concieve. Giving more accurate and diverse info on th subject would be great. EDIT: I have the same theory about when I get my sore boobs. Like one day post ovulation... pretty sure about this. Also this is a thing I didn't have before I went onto the Cerazette hormonal contraception pill and I also don't get it in the same severity every month.
I think the current sex Ed system is designed to try to scare you into abstinence. So by making it sound like you can get pregnant really easy they aim to scare teenagers into not having sex. Of course this doesn't work, it just terrifies us people who can get pregnant that we will if we even bloody look at a sperm, when in all likelihood the chances are slim... Not saying I don't recommend practicing safer sex, just that the current education for the vast majority is bias.
I know it sounds irresppnsible but hearing you talk about using withdrawel instead of condoms as a sex educator was such a relief 😅 got of the pil 4 months ago and waited 3 months before getting the copper coil. My partner and I both tested for std's at the start of our relationship and when we tried condoms again it felt really akward so we ditched them. Felt really guilty but we were really careful. Now we're in the clear again. Did have a massive pregnancy scare once that made me realize how naive that was, but it turned out that the pill fucked with my cycle more than I thought 🙃 and apparently have a solid (not cancer) cyste on one of my ovaries lol. But love that you're honest about it!
I think counting time in months or years when trying to conceive actually adds more stress to the situation. Like technically you can only get pregnant once per month. Obviously there are more days in a month when you’re fertile and stuff but you have one period per month, which would equal one chance of pregnancy per month. So technically you’ve tried 5-6 times. That doesn’t sound as much as 5-6 months, at least to me. 5-6 times is so little, in my opinion.
This video was very interesting and reminded me a lot of the early months of trying to conceive. Unfortunately for me I was in the bracket of people who still hadn't been able to get pregnant after a year of trying. We started fertility investigations with our GP and then under a specialist at our local hospital and all appeared to be normal in the beginning - then they discovered that I had premature ovarian insufficiency... basically my ovarian reserve was the same as someone aged 45+ and entering menopause. I was 29. Nothing prepares you for the pain and sadness of infertility. We were told we should pursue IVF immediately to have any chance of being able to have a genetic child, but that my ovarian reserve was below the threshold for IVF funded by the NHS. We left that appointment feeling like a bomb had exploded in our lives and we were left completely adrift trying to work out how we could pick up the pieces and figure out what to do next. We were told our chances of conceiving naturally were less than 1% and that our chances even with IVF were around 5-10%. We attempted 2 rounds of IVF and only created one embryo that could actually be transferred, we got pregnant but miscarried at 6 weeks. At that point we were told we should move on to using donor eggs. Grieving the loss of my genetics and also giving up on the idea of how we thought we would build our family was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. 3 years on from when we started trying to conceive we have now had an IVF cycle with donor eggs, two failed transfers and 2 embryos left in the freezer. We have also had 3 cycles where we have tried to prepare my body for transferring back one of our embryos and each time my uterine lining has not been able to get thick enough to transfer. We have tried different cocktails of medication to try and get my body to do what it needs to do, in fact we are approaching another cycle right now. Facing the reality that even with donor eggs this may not happen for us have been more devastation on top of what we have already experienced. You never know if you are going to be one of the unlucky ones. Somewhere between 1 in 6 and 1 in 8 couples struggle to conceive naturally and sadly we have ended up being one of those couples. It is harder than most people could ever imagine. We still hope we might have a happy ending one day, but sadly so, so many people don't. It is heartbreaking. Wishing you so much luck on your trying to conceive journey. The pain and sadness of it not happening quickly when that’s what you secretly are hoping for is so so tough, be kind to yourself - keeping my fingers crossed this happens for you soon 🤞🏼❤️
I'm coming off the pill and my doctor sent me the Contraception Choices website. It has a really similar interactive comparison to the New York Times article you showed, but actually includes no contraception! They show it as 85/100 in one year and withdrawal as 27! :)
Gah, the TTC journey is so difficult. I’m 15 weeks pregnant now, but the time that we spent trying was just so emotional and all consuming. I think very wise to share that you’re trying with your friends, you’re totally right that it can be super isolating otherwise. Good luck! ✨
My ttc journey started around the same time as yours: came off my pill in July and have been trying since. These videos are super interesting to watch as I can relate on so many levels. Although I have had multiple chemical pregnancies, we haven’t succeeded otherwise yet. Thanks for sharing your experience, it helps make this experience feel less lonely.
Loving this series (again, loved the original hormono diaries too :) ! I kind of relate to the thing you told about hour parents getting pregnant right away. Exept for me it was that we got pregnant with our first child basically right away and with the second it took us like 7 months of actively tryeing (and closer to 9 not using contraception). It was mentally so hard. I think it's great you are talking so openly about this 🖤 Wishing you all the luck and lots of fertility 😄
Happy to watch your updates on this series. We have been trying now for 2 years and are starting fertility treatments soon, its nice to hear you talk about how its not instant for everyone. Sending you both lots of baby dust!
My boyfriend and I are a couple years away from trying to get pregnant but I love watching these types of videos to learn more about the process and different people's journeys. And this series is a real jem! It's such a rarity for someone to talk about the conception process during all the uncertain parts. I was literally born 9 months exactly after my parents wedding so I totally get internalizing the fast conception story lol. But I know so many couples who have struggled or are still struggling so it's good to normalise the ups and downs of it all. I hope so much that things go smoothly for you and that you don't have to wait too long for good news!
Hey Hannah, completely appreciate that this is a sensitive topic but I’m really interested in whether you’ve had any support from your stoma team about ttc? My sister had an ileostomy because of Ulcerative Colitis and had some hospital meetings before getting pregnant and throughout her pregnancy because of some of the challenges following her surgery (she had scar tissue blockage 2 years after surgery). Obviously do not feel obliged to talk about this whatsoever, just interested because of my sister’s journey! Thanks for sharing this by the way, wish women talked about this stuff more! Xxx
Hello! I just wanted to reach out and say I know how you feel and it’s bloody hard! I totally assumed I would get pregnant straight away. Over the period of a year I just became more and more disappointed and stressed. It took us 15 months and then ping one day it just bloody happens! I understand the feelings you’re describing so much. Xxx
It's so frustrating! You spend years getting told it's super easy to accidentally get pregnant... Then you find out there's like a 3 day window! It took us 8 months and one early loss unfortunately but now I'm 5 months pregnant and very excited!
I find it really interesting how because you were raised being told how easy it was for you to be conceived you assumed you'd fall pregnant quickly. I have had the other experience of being told how difficult it was for my parents to fall pregnant, the tests, the drugs etc etc, so I've always been convinced I will have issues conceiving when I try. This is not helped by the fact I am 34 and have never had so much as a pregnancy scare (Logically I know the fact that I have never been in a position to try and get pregnant, and that I've been very good with contraception could also be why I've never thought I was pregnant, however emotionally I've taken it as validation that I will never be able to get pregnant!)
I had a coworker who had 7 children - all through IVF or adoption. Then she accidentally got pregnant with baby #8. I also know couples who cannot get pregnant and those that did on the first try. It is a journey and we don't know the ending! Thanks for your transparency!
Finding this series very interesting even though we are doing pretty much the opposite process. My husband and I have decided to adopt a child and for the last 2 years have had to jump through countless hoops due to the fact that we can have biological children. We have finally been approved and are currently in the process of finding our forever family. However as this is during a global pandemic my implant has not been able to be replaced and using contraceptive injections instead. Every month wishing for a period so that the last 2 years of jumping through adoption hoops will be worth it.
I think we should all be more open about the fact that condoms are just not as fun. Yes, they are great in many ways, but the fact is most people enjoy the whole experience of sex less if a condom is involved. The narrative that condoms are all great all the time makes it easy to think there's something wrong with you when you don't enjoy using them. I think it would be much healthier if we all acknowledged that condoms have downsides that come along with the huge benefits.
To be fair, the whole narrative around condoms being uncomfortable is interwoven with guys trying to pressure women to ditch them. So it’s complicated.
I'm with you! I came off the pill in august and naively thought it would happen quickly. I end up in tears at the end of each cycle...it's so difficult. Wishing you loads of luck x
For anyone with PMS breast pain: Look into trying nettle tea. Usually the pain is due to a higher amount of water in your breast and nettle tea distracts water from your body so it will (for most people) relief some of the pain. Herbal tea in general may help with cycle related issues. Lady's coat tea regulates your hormonal balance hence may help in every phase of your cycle. And then there are special tea mixtures for the first phase of your cycle (to shorten it, if it's too long and/or help with ovulation) and the second phase of your cycle (to stabilize that phase so that the fertilized egg can get implanted - some people have a very short second phase, p. ex. four days, which isn't enough to get pregnant; the second phase lasts - without any medical problems - 16 days at max). Most of the time it's cheaper to buy the herbs for the tea separately and mix it yourself (which isn't complicated). The teas don't taste that great though, and you have to drink quite a lot on a daily basis to have an effect on your body.
Recently I watched Rhod Gilbert’s documentary about male fertility (it is still on BBC iPlayer) where he talks about the fertility industry being marketed towards women/people with vaginas and how the male/people with testicles role is hardly ever addressed. It takes two to make a baby and it’s like the media and health industry has forgotten that. The documentary talks about how 50% of difficulties conceiving are due to or in part due to the quality of the sperm. It also addressed the difficulties men/people with testicles have in talking about fertility and how there are no support groups for them. Worth a watch I think. I certainly learnt a few things!
Thank you for your real time commentary! I have a history of 200+ day cycles. I know what it's like to be excited over getting it! My husband and I have been trying for 15 months now. Its nice to hear from another on this journey!
I love your honesty about all of this! All of my friends with children were always like “We got pregnant right away!” Which statistically can’t be true, but I think most of them were just scared to admit the truth, because it always seems like just an “easy” thing to get pregnant. We were very lucky as it only took us two cycles to conceive, but the 3 negative test I took (since my period was late during the first cycle) might just as well have been 100 tests! Also I feel the pressure of not getting pregnant with a second child, since once you have had a baby once, people just seem to assume it’s ok to ask you if you’re “trying again” 🙄
Thank you so so much for making these videos! We tried to get pregnant for 5 years and FINALLY it happened in September 2020 so I am relating so hard to your journey. Not saying that it'll take that long for you at all though, wishing you all the best!
I’m loving the resurrection of this series! Would you be able to touch on the differences you might have getting/being pregnant with a stoma (assuming you haven’t already and i missed it!)? I’d love to see your first hand perspective on it!
It's so weird how we are brought up to think we could get pregnant instantly. If we skip one pill, you could get pregnant! If you're sick while on the pill, you could be pregnant! And yet when you start trying you realise that the sperm has to make it all the way in, the lining of your womb has to be the right thickness, the temperature correct, the sperm implant at the right time the egg is there not too early or too late 😂 it's truly a miracle when you think what needs to be exactly right! Also you are so correct in the reality of emotionally processing it not happening straight away. Its such a hard journey because it is so different for everyone and we can only control so much. All the best with it 💕
I'd be really interested to see a graph comparing withdrawal to the rhythm method and see if thinking you know you're ovulating makes a difference in getting pregnant when you're not trying
Hey! Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and your journey with us. Don't forget where you started and how much you've learnt in the last 6 months. Power pose. It helps. You're a strong woman and you've got this 💪😊❤
Both me and my brother took almost a year of trying for my parents but here we are. While, of course, it's difficult and the possibility that it might not happen is inevitably there, don't lose hope!
😱 I am twenty years old, and the idea that “having penis/vagina sex without contraception or fertility issues _doesn’t_ always lead to pregnancy” is brand-new information to me. I’ve never had sex, but I’ve spent years assuming that a single slip-up would land you with one. Of course, that’s not to say I’d be any less careful in the future!
I was the same. So whenever I did end up having unprotected sex (call it the “heat of the moment” and being in love and stupid) I was convinced I was pregnant and ... nope. Not saying that you shouldn’t use contraception, just saying that the whole “you will instantly get pregnant if you have sex once” is probably made up to make sure teens use protection. Which, I do support, don’t get me wrong.
I relate to this video SO MUCH! My husband and I have been trying for the last few months, and it’s definitely been hard getting my period each month. I, too, was totally confident I would get pregnant on the first try! We just have to keep being positive. It will happen!
I think it’s normal to expect that you’ll get pregnant in the first few weeks of trying - and okay, too! I think it’s good to go into it with that positive attitude instead of anticipating difficulty. In the end, I really feel that you’ll get the family that you want, it’s just frustrating when you don’t know: do we keep trying naturally for 6 more months? 12 more months? Do we try fertility treatments? IVF? Adoption? I think if we knew upfront, we could just accept that fate and get going with that method instead of stressing about it. The not knowing is so hard on us emotionally. I love your honesty and can’t wait to see you and Dan become parents! Keep sharing, Hannah, I love these vids ❤️❤️
I’ve been using the pull out method with my partner/s for 15 + years and it works if it is done properly. Also knowing your cycle/ when you ovulate is good so you can avoid ovulation days if you’re really nervous.
My husband and I were doing the not actively trying but not using protection for about a year, then we actively tried for almost a year before we got pregnant. I totally understand your feelings completely. It is hard, especially if you are surrounded by people getting pregnant seemingly so easily.
I just looked at that article and I am shocked! I always thought condoms and withdrawal were really unreliable... But they are low with perfect use (I understand that they can be hard to perfect) I love this series!
Thanks for documenting this journey! It's fascinating and an intimate view on something really important (for Humanity survival at least!) and that has such a profound impact on our lives... You are very brave to expose yourself, and we are very thankful for that... Good luck on this first step to both of you and lots of love and respect!
I love this series so much! So real and raw and I have so much respect for you putting your journey online. I’m currently pregnant with my second, but I so get the wanting to be pregnant and not being. The wait is sometimes long, but worth it to work on that time with your partner. ♥️
We are trying to conceive also, but I have PCOS which makes things difficult. Been off birth control for more than a year, really trying for about 6 months (cycles... really ends up being more than 6 months since my cycle is so long), and about to start cycle 3 of medical intervention. You're not alone in your journey! Wishing you luck!
Your boobs being in pain after ovulation is more your body preparing for a posable pregnancy, the same with any other simptoms is your body preparing itself for a possible pregnancy.
One of the things these studies seem to always ignore is combining methods. Like calendar and withdrawal together. IE you use withdrawl during non-fertile times and during your fertile period you abstain from sex or do non-PIV sex.
Me and my husband are in the same boat! We hate condoms but are planning on trying after April as our honeymoon is then cause I want to have a drink on the beach but at the same time we haven’t been preventing at all 🤷♀️ I’m enjoying this series! It’s nice to see someone else who is going through it too
I have never in my life seen a bride say yayyy when she got her period the week of her wedding 😂 that is literally my worse fear infact i may just take period delay tablets the week before and week off even if im not due.. Because im NOT doing that 😂
Knowing that many people that had problems with conceiving I thought it will take much time for me to get pregnant. Surprisingly it happened in first cycle of trying, so we were extra happy. Unfortunately our son was stillborn at 39th week. It took me a few months to get my hormones back to normal, and then every month trying was sooo painful. Now I’m in this weird time in between , when the pregnancy test is positive, but the pregnancy itself is still not confirmed with beating heart during ultrasound scan. So I’m so familiar with rationalizing.. “Yeah, I have to give my body more time after birth.” “This is normal, this could take even a year” “don’t get your hopes up, until third month anything could happen” . Sharing such things as that you are trying to conceive or maybe there are some difficulties, health issues really helps up. Also you can’t find so many people around that care and will be supportive, some of them may really surprise you :)
You with the yellow t-shirt sitting in front of your blue and orange couch was SOOO aesthetically pleasing.
The black top was amazing!
10/10 camera work
@@robertlawsonjr.2501
..llloooo..l
She loves BWC
I think it’s great to see the process before the ‘we’re pregnant videos’ as it’s something nobody really does which is interesting! I’m not trying to get pregnant yet, but I can imagine if I was, I’d really appreciate hearing other people’s experiences and affirming that getting pregnant isn’t necessarily instant, it can take lots of prep/work/effort/time/money. Announcements don’t necessarily tell that story.
Yeah. My sister and best friend both got pregnant while on contraception, and it wasnt planned for either of them. My friend didn't even plan on having kids - ever. And then you had me... Wanting children, actively trying and finally after 10 months it worked but every single month you're like "am I getting my period this month?"... Now I'm 19 weeks pregnant but oh boy, did it bother me 🙈
I love you just casually mentioning how you and Dan used condoms until you both got tested - yay for normalising knowing your STI status and discussing it with your partner! Thank you being so vulnerable in this video, both about the fact you *thought* you would get pregnant straight away/super easily and while you know that theoretically that it can take up for a year to happen that's very different to the reality of having been trying for sixth months AND the fact that you didn't use condoms for very long and just used the withdrawal method! Sex education really screws us over so much and it's really interesting to hear you talk about that in the context of trying to get pregnant. I also love all the nerdy stats about how effective different methods of contraception are!
thank you 💛 and yes getting tested should be normalised! I love the idea of an STI clinic date lol
It’s so important! I’m the mum of my tribe and always mention Pap smears, std testing, different protection, talking really openly about sex with my son and my friends etc. because of all of this stuff, I’ve come to realise I want to be a sex and intimacy counsellor. I’m hoping to start studying in a year or so, depending on my business. But it’s my biggest dream. I’d love to help couples and individuals!
Hannah loves BWC I can tell
How often should you get tested in a monogamous relationship? Only before you stop using condoms?
"How conventional i'm gonna throw up"
A mood whenever i do something conventional, lmao
she is doind all the typical things society force everyone to believe. She is the heteronormative model.
Am I a single lesbian? Yes!
Am I still watching this video in the middle of the night as if this is directly relevant to me? Yes, Thank you
Omg this cracked me up! Thank you for making me smile today :)
A single bi (who really prefers women) and doesn’t want kids. We just love Hannah
Saaaaame
Oh this is literally me as well 😂
I am actually doing this right now aha
I don't know a single person, including myself, that didn't secretly think they would get pregnant on the first try 😂 our egos really try hard to avoid being wounded, but it's just the way life is, not a reflection of us or our partners and our actions... even perfectly timed intercourse with all the healthy lifestyle can lead to nowhere! and that's harder to accept, but again, life is funny that way. I love that you are helping to normalize these conversations, whenever I tell our story I always include that it took us 10 months/9 cycles and whole lot of uncertainty in a pandemic year already full of it. It can be so hard! Lots of self and partner care is needed.
Side note, I hate hate hate latex condoms, so uncomfortable! But the ones made out of the non-latex material (Skyn brand, I believe) are awesome and soft and don't smell. Way easier to use those after a long time of not using condoms at all!
Maybe that way of thinking comes from the years before trying to get pregnant when you were afraid that you might get pregnant if you forgot the pill for one day or the condom broke or whatever. It's so in our minds that every little mistake will lead to pregnancy that we think "now that I'm not using protection it must work right away"
tbh that's something i really liked about claudia and jess' announcement video; i feel like i only ever see stories where it didn't take long to conceive, which confused me because it contradicts the figures i've heard. i think it's more people don't go into detail if takes them longer bc there's shame around it (which is a load of rubbish!).
those are me & my partner's favorite condoms as well lol
Yes! I was like Hannah where we stopped using protection before we began actively trying and I was still so hopeful with every little nausea spell or hurting breasts that I was pregnant and a but let down when I wasn’t and it’s worse when you actually start trying. I definitely agree the self and partner care are so important during this trial time when the future you want is so uncertain.
Skyn condoms are great!
I know couples that cant get pregnant after years of trying. They get tested to figure out what is the problem but there Is nothing wrong. Then they get pregnant when they least expect It. Conception Is just weird.
And people who want and will care for children can’t have them, but people who don’t want them and don’t care for them have loads?🤷🏼♀️
Exactly this happened with me and my wife. It’s called “non-specific infertility”, which is just a medical way of saying “we have no Idea”. 2 years of trying, we were about to start IVF when my wife got pregnant.
@@waziotter honestly i know so many stories that the couple was about to get medical assistance but they got pregnant right before 👏🏻
I got pregnant once after taking the morning after pill, but some people who track their cycles and such still can't get pregnant?? Bizzare
@@pixxie__ my bestie got pregnant after one night stand guy was just 0,5 sec "late" to pull out 🙄 yet so many our friends couldnt get pregnant for so long time and they were trying everything ... bizzare how it is ...really...
Me and my wife tried for 2 years. Ended up having IVF after being told it won't happen for us. Went well and we had twins. Stopped using protection and fell pregnant with our 3rd naturally.
When trying just relax and enjoy. We put so much pressure on our selfs.
@Re Spawn81 thank you so much for sharing your experience, this will give others hope ❤❤
That's amazing, but keep in mind that telling people to 'relax and it'll happen' sucks when it doesn't happen. Happy you got your babies though! :) Congrats!!
@@heathercole9851 i understand how stressful it is and just how much pressure we put on ourselves going through it. When we didn't have that pressure it just happened.
Getting pregnant a second time is often easier. Your body is more used to the whole process. And yes stress is such a big factor. Only after a year of trying at the right times it is recommended to see a doctor. Try to enjoy the process of that first year as much as possible.
This is the same as my parents! Told they were infertile, had IVF and had twins, then got pregnant with me 5 years later out of the blue!
I’m not interested in ever having kids and usually talking about it makes me super uncomfortable, but you’re so open and honest about your situation and so many details that it feels super natural and I’m glad I can still learn about things that could possibly effect me someday (even if it don’t want them to lol)
Your honesty is the most refreshing thing on the internet lol admitting to us the internal monologue we all have and don't even admit to ourselves 🙈 so profound
Oh man, this is striking a nerve. I had regular periods before going on the implant. I got it taken out in 2017 and it's only since September 2020 that I've started to have signs of ovulating again and having not as long but still irregular periods. My partner and I have nearly always had unprotected sex and absolutely nothing happened in all that time. We have kind of made peace with the fact that maybe we won't have children as we want to prioritise buying a house over saving for fertility treatments and we are a family regardless. I also feel pretty fulfilled working with children. I hope you will be lucky soon, Hannah and Dan, and get pregnant. We're all thinking of you and thanks for sharing your journey. ❤️
The reflection on the clips from back in August is so vulnerable. Thank you for sharing! And thank you for linking Melanie in the box down below haha. Lastly, thank you for being so honest about being "weak" and using the withdrawal method. I have no wish to fall pregnant right now, but I also don't react well to hormonal contraception; sometimes me and my partner are lazy and pull out. It was nice to hear someone resonate with that:')
My last period came on day 37, when usually it’s between day 28-32, so I FULLY understand the imagining period cramps!! I swear by day 35 I was hallucinating wetness in my underwear 🤦🏻♀️ (I was completely safe that month too BUT SOMEONE HAS TO BE THE 0.001%!!!)
So when I was trying, i spoke to my doctor and she suggested forgetting about dates/ovulation and just have sex every 2 days from the end of my period until the start of my next one, and i got pregnant that same month. Just my experience, keeping everything crossed for you ❤️
That’s incredibly helpful 🙌🏼
The hormone diaries coming back is quite literally saving me from this shitshow of a third lockdown! Thank you hannah - i am eternally grateful!!!!
When you re told to be careful with sex for so long or you might get pregnant that one time so when you actually aren't even after that one month it still feels like a surprise when it's completely normal.
It took us 3 months and I realised how lucky we were after speaking to other parents stories.
Trying for a baby is one of the biggest rollercoasters you will ever face. I got pregnant within a few months but had a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks - no one warns you that a positive pregnancy test does not always equal a baby. Wishing you all the best on your conception journey!
You being so raw about your feelings on the internet is the most amazing. The best part about your videos is the perfect balance of personal experience and data-driven content. Keep these videos coming, Hannah!
I used withdrawal as contraception for a couple years, and it has always annoyed me how dismissive lots of sex ed is of it. I appreciated you showing the actual numbers. For some people, it is a good option and shouldn’t be thrown out right away. For me, I liked that it was non-hormonal because I was having other health issues and needed to be off meds for a while to sort out what was going on. My partner wasn’t comfortable with methods that included spermicide and we had tried condoms but never could get used to them. I had a problem with an IUD before and wasn’t ready to try that again quite yet, so a copper IUD wasn’t an option. We were really careful with the withdrawal and I kept Plan B on hand just in case. We also kept an eye in my cycle and avoided sex during my fertile window. Also, while we weren’t looking to have more kids (we already had 2) it wouldn’t have been terrible if we had a third. For us, it was a great option and I shouldn’t be made to feel stupid for trusting a method that “doesn’t work” when it can work well enough for some purposes.
Same here. My husband and I have been using it for almost a decade. It still feels very taboo! I have had 3 "wait a second..." moments and used Plan B. BUT, I want to mention that for my fellow plus size women, Ella, is a great option as Plan B stops being effective at 180 lbs. You can order it online via the RUBYPRJKT. I needed it hust once and it was easy to use and shipped in 36 hrs.
@@cauthoncrazy *plus size people who can get pregnant, as we're not all women! trans man here!
@@rockpooladmirer That is such a minority, that it's still gonna be women.
I like that you talk about withdrawal! my bf and I use withdrawal as a little extra precautionary add-on to me taking the mini pill just as an effort to eliminate that little rest chance of getting pregnant on the pill
Same here 🙋🏻♀️
I am very much a fan of combining two methods. Especially with those crazy high numbers.
Another thing to note on those stats on contraception is if you use two or more methods (and quite a few people do) then the chances of pregancy decrease exponentially. This is because you can aggregate the chances of each method. For example, using the pill has a 9 in 100 chance of pregnancy over one year of typical use, but if you also use condoms with a 18 in 100 chance, multiplying those probabilities together means you have a 1.6 in 100 chance of getting pregnant in a year of typical use. So if you're not trying to get pregnant then consider using more than one method.
yess great point!
Good point though i want to raise awareness to other people with OCD that you shouldn't use it as reassurance or at least be aware that it might trigger your OCD. E.g. if you're afraid to get pregnant, one has to live with the uncertainty that it might happen. Otherwise it can spiral put of control (e.g. stacking multiple contraceptive methods, buying pregnancy tests in huge numbers, taking two or three pills instead of one every day)..
@@Poesyfan I'd like to mention (sure you know already, but anyway) that taking 2 or 3 birth control pills instead of 1 does not help to decrease the chance of getting pregnant, and it can make you sick. Stacking multiple contraceptive methods is only safe and works only for some combinations of methods (e.g. hormonal birth control or an IUD, combined with condoms)
My partner and I use two forms, implant and condom. I’ve always done this, since I was 16! Tbf for 6 of those years I lived in countries where abortion was illegal (morning after pill was also illegal for 3 years of that) so I’m hyper aware. Also my mum got pregnant using just condoms when she was 16, so I’ve had a drilled into me to be careful.
so i'm not trying to get pregnant but i recently came off the pill and switched to natural contraception (temperature and cervical mucus) and it's so crazy realising how small the time frame is where you can actually get pregnant. reading about this method made me learn more about my body than sex ed in school ever did.
I also check my temperature and cervical mucus, and I just find it so informative about my own body and its cycles. It makes me wonder why it's not taught more regularly, not even in the context of contraception but just for getting to know your own cycles! I have quite irregular cycles, but I know that my period will start 14 days after I've ovulated, and based on that I almost always correctly predict the start of my period to within a 24 or perhaps 36 hour window.
Same here, it's brilliant, I have been doing it for allmost two years now and I trust it even more than the pill by now. And referring to what Hannah said about the boobs, it's the same for me, they start hurting around the ovulation day.
We were taught that in school as "the rhythm method". It was a Catholic school but you have to include contraception on the curriculum here, so I guess they were trying to get round that in a Catholic way (they did also have to give us leaflets of other forms of contraception tho)
same!!
Out of interest do you use a proper natural period tracker brand or just do it yourself? Looking to do the same soon!
I'm starting my own hormonal journey soon: getting the contraceptive implant on saturday. At 18 this is the first big health decision I've made for myself, and the sense of agency/independence it has brought makes me so happy! I haven't even thought about how scary/painful the insertion process is because I'm just so excited. Best of luck on your journey Hannah!
I totally feel you. It's been over a year of trying but not really trying that hard...and nothing has happened. It's so much harder for some people to conceive. I have a feeling this is going to be a long journey.
This outfit w the pigtails is super cute. So happy to see hormone diaries back
I'm an older child and I was always told how my parents tried for years before I came along, after many tries and fails. Fascinating how that different narrative affected my view of trying to conceive- that it is sooo difficult. Wishing you all the best Hannah!
Thanks for updating us, and thanks for all your vulnerability. It took me a little over a year of trying for my first kid- it turned out my thyroid was off. So if it does take longer than a year, maybe get your thyroid tested (including antibodies- I have Hashimoto's, which didn't show up in my thyroid numbers, but the antibodies still kept me from getting pregnant). 2 months after starting meds, I was pregnant with my daughter. Then with my second, I got pregnant right away!
that's interesting thank you for sharing!
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Girl don't be shy or nervous about telling any of us! None of us will judge, pressure or hate on you about anything! Hopefully no one will drive you crazy asking if you're pregnant yet lol and everyone will wait for the day you decide to tell us you are! If anyone does bother you about it then ignore them and don't feel like you have to tell us anything you don't want to
Thank you for that little tidbit about frustration after 6months, definitely needs to be more normalized that conception can be tough and is kind of unpredictable. Who knew that creating life, much like losing it, is not actually under our complete control?? Also very glad you brought the withdrawal discussion back 360 at the end. Totally a valid option for adults who are in the situation of not minding if they get pregnant (what I imagine could be termed "passively-trying"), but still very much not advisable to anyone trying to NOT get pregnant ("actively-NOT-trying"). I totally agree sex ed can over-employ scare tactics (honestly that's what most of our society does, "do this and you'll go to HELL/JAIL"), though I sometimes feel conflicted because unwanted teen pregnancies feel like a big problem. Anyways, great video as usual, and love the discussions it's sparking!
I’ve been TTC for 16 months. It can be so discouraging but it’s so nice to watch someone being open about their journey to parenthood.
I'm watching this on a break from a zoom meeting and had a brief moment of panic that I hadn't muted myself, but it's all good lol.
My conception story is that my mom and dad were married, decided to start having children so stopped using contraception and naturally got pregnant with TRIPLETS.... super easy, super fertile mom and dad.... we'll see how my journey into childbearing goes.
The Fertility Awareness Method is awesome for letting you know when you're fertile. I was very aware of my fertile window within a couple of months of charting! Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a great book for finding out about it :)
I find this take on trying to conceive so refreshing, thank you for sharing your journey with us. My partner and I are also on the same page. Our case is a bit complicated as he is a carrier of a balanced chromosome translocation. We have gotten pregnant several times on the first month of trying but pregnancies have not developed beyond the first trimester. So maybe is not that bad that it takes a bit longer but that when it does happen, it is the real deal :)
"How conventional, I'm gonna throw up." And then there's me, unmarried childfree blob not throwing up.It's okay to be conventional when it's your choice. :)
My husband and I are in the off hormones but not trying phase. We are using withdrawal, but part of me is just hoping that it happens by accident so we don't have to stress about the actual trying. We aren't planning on not caring until the summer when we buy a house and not trying until the fall once we are settled in. Currently using symptothermal methods of avoiding and it makes me frustrated sometimes as its only been 3 cycles off of my IUD and my temps are just all over the place. Anyways, rant over and I am super invested in this series as it helps normalize the whole not getting pregnant thing right away!
My dear Hanna, Thank you so much for being so open! This video comes at the moment I most needed it! We are trying to get pregnant and I literally know 5 woman who got pregnant on their first try. Including my sister and best friend. We are trying for a while now with no luck and I feel like I have no one to talk, who truly understands.
Your video hits it exactly. I know average it takes a year etc. etc. I know, I know, but emotionally knowing is a lot different. Dealing with it and experiencing it, while my friend started trying at the same time, already being 23 weeks pregnant and the other being in labour right now, I feel so lonely sometimes. You make me feel so much better and less lonely. Thank you for letting me know, I am not alone! Many many thanks!
The first video I saw was the one where you took your coil out and I have watch a dozen since and listening to you podcast. You came along just when I needed it and you inspire me so much!
Lots of love, from The Netherlands!
My mum tried to get pregnant for 9 years with her first husband. She had rounds of IVF to no avail. They divorced then she met my dad and got pregnant straight away and her first husband also had a baby with his next partner. I've always found that crazy. We are on month 4 of trying and I have on average 45 day cycles 🤞
Wow, what an interesting story! Best of luck to you ❤️
Might very well have been DNA faults/damage that overlapped and couldn't produce a viable pregnancy.
maybe it was fate since they were apparently not made for each other
Sounds like her previous husband might have had an infertility or genetic variation that made it hard to conceive.
Honestly I'm so happy this series is going again, it helped me so much when I was younger and I'm glad I can learn more from you again 😊😊
Perfect timing😘 I just reread the book the hormone diaries yesterday!
Edit: there are people very close to me who are trying to get pregnant and I am in no position to give them any advice about it. But because I am watching this stuff at least now I can understand a little what they are going through since past few months and that really helps me in accomodating their actions, causes behind those actions and their moods. Thanks very much Hannah for sharing 💕 ❤️ lots of love!
Can I just say how helpful these videos are to me right now! I stopped the pill in August and binge watched all your previous hormone diaries as I got my first period for 10 years! We have been trying since then and still no foetus, like you we just had stories of how it happened sooner than expected and we thought it might happen immediately, and no matter how much I know this is normal it is still disheartening that we have no positive yet.
I had no idea that so many factors come into play and you only have this short window the egg is even viable having spent so much of my life desperately trying to not get pregnant!
These videos help me feel we aren't alone and my thoughts and feelings are normal :)
Best of luck! It usually takes some months for the hormones to clear your system if that helps any.
Oooof, yeah, almost 8 months and one early miscarriage into TTC and I'm really appreciating this series. I identify with it so much.
My sister in law insisted that it took 2 years to get pregnant after the pill and we told her that's not how it works and then she got pregnant in two weeks. It's infuriating.
Wishing you the best! I’m six months and one miscarriage into TTC, and it’s a tough journey. It definitely stings when other people announce their good news, no matter how happy for them I am.
Omg, thank you for talking about this and making it an open thing. In the beginning of the relationship with my current partner we made some dumb decisions where we used withdrawal or just weren't careful enough in general and I am very much not proud of it and would not recommend playing with a life long responsibility like this but also it's just nice to hear that other people are the same. We have now been using a cycle computer aka tracking my base temperature for about 1.5 years and it's been great. We use condoms on fertile days and even though it is supposed to be "safe" on unfertile days, still use withdrawal then. It's worked great so far.
The thing I was surprised by when we were being stupid early on is that I didn't get pregnant... like I didn't even have a scare. And that was so the opposite of what I have been taught. You're always getting taught how fast you can get pegnant and that it doesn't even need an ejaculation inside the vagina. Even now I sometimes feel so paranoid, especially on fertile days, that some sperm will somehow, despite being ever so careful, end up inside of me and I'll just concieve. I partially think that can be a good thing, if it leads people to be more aware ad careful but to be honest I don't think it does? I know I didn't think of it in those moments when we didn't use protection and now it's mainly just making me paranoid. Also it can give people false hopes for when they are trying to concieve. Giving more accurate and diverse info on th subject would be great.
EDIT: I have the same theory about when I get my sore boobs. Like one day post ovulation... pretty sure about this. Also this is a thing I didn't have before I went onto the Cerazette hormonal contraception pill and I also don't get it in the same severity every month.
I think the current sex Ed system is designed to try to scare you into abstinence. So by making it sound like you can get pregnant really easy they aim to scare teenagers into not having sex. Of course this doesn't work, it just terrifies us people who can get pregnant that we will if we even bloody look at a sperm, when in all likelihood the chances are slim... Not saying I don't recommend practicing safer sex, just that the current education for the vast majority is bias.
I know it sounds irresppnsible but hearing you talk about using withdrawel instead of condoms as a sex educator was such a relief 😅 got of the pil 4 months ago and waited 3 months before getting the copper coil. My partner and I both tested for std's at the start of our relationship and when we tried condoms again it felt really akward so we ditched them. Felt really guilty but we were really careful. Now we're in the clear again. Did have a massive pregnancy scare once that made me realize how naive that was, but it turned out that the pill fucked with my cycle more than I thought 🙃 and apparently have a solid (not cancer) cyste on one of my ovaries lol. But love that you're honest about it!
I think counting time in months or years when trying to conceive actually adds more stress to the situation. Like technically you can only get pregnant once per month. Obviously there are more days in a month when you’re fertile and stuff but you have one period per month, which would equal one chance of pregnancy per month. So technically you’ve tried 5-6 times. That doesn’t sound as much as 5-6 months, at least to me. 5-6 times is so little, in my opinion.
This video was very interesting and reminded me a lot of the early months of trying to conceive. Unfortunately for me I was in the bracket of people who still hadn't been able to get pregnant after a year of trying. We started fertility investigations with our GP and then under a specialist at our local hospital and all appeared to be normal in the beginning - then they discovered that I had premature ovarian insufficiency... basically my ovarian reserve was the same as someone aged 45+ and entering menopause. I was 29.
Nothing prepares you for the pain and sadness of infertility. We were told we should pursue IVF immediately to have any chance of being able to have a genetic child, but that my ovarian reserve was below the threshold for IVF funded by the NHS. We left that appointment feeling like a bomb had exploded in our lives and we were left completely adrift trying to work out how we could pick up the pieces and figure out what to do next. We were told our chances of conceiving naturally were less than 1% and that our chances even with IVF were around 5-10%. We attempted 2 rounds of IVF and only created one embryo that could actually be transferred, we got pregnant but miscarried at 6 weeks. At that point we were told we should move on to using donor eggs. Grieving the loss of my genetics and also giving up on the idea of how we thought we would build our family was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
3 years on from when we started trying to conceive we have now had an IVF cycle with donor eggs, two failed transfers and 2 embryos left in the freezer. We have also had 3 cycles where we have tried to prepare my body for transferring back one of our embryos and each time my uterine lining has not been able to get thick enough to transfer. We have tried different cocktails of medication to try and get my body to do what it needs to do, in fact we are approaching another cycle right now. Facing the reality that even with donor eggs this may not happen for us have been more devastation on top of what we have already experienced.
You never know if you are going to be one of the unlucky ones. Somewhere between 1 in 6 and 1 in 8 couples struggle to conceive naturally and sadly we have ended up being one of those couples. It is harder than most people could ever imagine. We still hope we might have a happy ending one day, but sadly so, so many people don't. It is heartbreaking.
Wishing you so much luck on your trying to conceive journey. The pain and sadness of it not happening quickly when that’s what you secretly are hoping for is so so tough, be kind to yourself - keeping my fingers crossed this happens for you soon 🤞🏼❤️
Wishing you will find happiness with a child for you both, in whatever way that may happen. You sound like a strong lady, and a strong couple.
I'm coming off the pill and my doctor sent me the Contraception Choices website. It has a really similar interactive comparison to the New York Times article you showed, but actually includes no contraception! They show it as 85/100 in one year and withdrawal as 27! :)
Gah, the TTC journey is so difficult. I’m 15 weeks pregnant now, but the time that we spent trying was just so emotional and all consuming. I think very wise to share that you’re trying with your friends, you’re totally right that it can be super isolating otherwise.
Good luck! ✨
My ttc journey started around the same time as yours: came off my pill in July and have been trying since. These videos are super interesting to watch as I can relate on so many levels. Although I have had multiple chemical pregnancies, we haven’t succeeded otherwise yet. Thanks for sharing your experience, it helps make this experience feel less lonely.
Loving this series (again, loved the original hormono diaries too :) !
I kind of relate to the thing you told about hour parents getting pregnant right away. Exept for me it was that we got pregnant with our first child basically right away and with the second it took us like 7 months of actively tryeing (and closer to 9 not using contraception). It was mentally so hard. I think it's great you are talking so openly about this 🖤 Wishing you all the luck and lots of fertility 😄
Happy to watch your updates on this series. We have been trying now for 2 years and are starting fertility treatments soon, its nice to hear you talk about how its not instant for everyone. Sending you both lots of baby dust!
you look particularly pretty in this video- the plaits! 🥺
My boyfriend and I are a couple years away from trying to get pregnant but I love watching these types of videos to learn more about the process and different people's journeys. And this series is a real jem! It's such a rarity for someone to talk about the conception process during all the uncertain parts.
I was literally born 9 months exactly after my parents wedding so I totally get internalizing the fast conception story lol. But I know so many couples who have struggled or are still struggling so it's good to normalise the ups and downs of it all. I hope so much that things go smoothly for you and that you don't have to wait too long for good news!
I like watching this series as my husband and I are also TTC. We're only in month 3 but it helps knowing we arent alone
Hey Hannah, completely appreciate that this is a sensitive topic but I’m really interested in whether you’ve had any support from your stoma team about ttc? My sister had an ileostomy because of Ulcerative Colitis and had some hospital meetings before getting pregnant and throughout her pregnancy because of some of the challenges following her surgery (she had scar tissue blockage 2 years after surgery). Obviously do not feel obliged to talk about this whatsoever, just interested because of my sister’s journey! Thanks for sharing this by the way, wish women talked about this stuff more! Xxx
Hello! I just wanted to reach out and say I know how you feel and it’s bloody hard! I totally assumed I would get pregnant straight away. Over the period of a year I just became more and more disappointed and stressed. It took us 15 months and then ping one day it just bloody happens! I understand the feelings you’re describing so much. Xxx
It's so frustrating! You spend years getting told it's super easy to accidentally get pregnant... Then you find out there's like a 3 day window! It took us 8 months and one early loss unfortunately but now I'm 5 months pregnant and very excited!
thank you for sharing that 💛💛💛
I find it really interesting how because you were raised being told how easy it was for you to be conceived you assumed you'd fall pregnant quickly. I have had the other experience of being told how difficult it was for my parents to fall pregnant, the tests, the drugs etc etc, so I've always been convinced I will have issues conceiving when I try. This is not helped by the fact I am 34 and have never had so much as a pregnancy scare (Logically I know the fact that I have never been in a position to try and get pregnant, and that I've been very good with contraception could also be why I've never thought I was pregnant, however emotionally I've taken it as validation that I will never be able to get pregnant!)
I had a coworker who had 7 children - all through IVF or adoption. Then she accidentally got pregnant with baby #8. I also know couples who cannot get pregnant and those that did on the first try. It is a journey and we don't know the ending! Thanks for your transparency!
Finding this series very interesting even though we are doing pretty much the opposite process.
My husband and I have decided to adopt a child and for the last 2 years have had to jump through countless hoops due to the fact that we can have biological children.
We have finally been approved and are currently in the process of finding our forever family. However as this is during a global pandemic my implant has not been able to be replaced and using contraceptive injections instead. Every month wishing for a period so that the last 2 years of jumping through adoption hoops will be worth it.
That’s incredible, congratulations! 💜
I think we should all be more open about the fact that condoms are just not as fun. Yes, they are great in many ways, but the fact is most people enjoy the whole experience of sex less if a condom is involved.
The narrative that condoms are all great all the time makes it easy to think there's something wrong with you when you don't enjoy using them. I think it would be much healthier if we all acknowledged that condoms have downsides that come along with the huge benefits.
To be fair, the whole narrative around condoms being uncomfortable is interwoven with guys trying to pressure women to ditch them. So it’s complicated.
I feel like ...kind of like I'm being shamed when I tell female friends I don't like how they feel
Love this so much! I love how open and honest you are about the experience. This is the only way to make it socially normal!
I'm with you! I came off the pill in august and naively thought it would happen quickly. I end up in tears at the end of each cycle...it's so difficult. Wishing you loads of luck x
I love how real and honest you are in these videos, Hannah. Thank you for making us part of the whole journey! I'm sending you a big virtual hug!
For anyone with PMS breast pain: Look into trying nettle tea. Usually the pain is due to a higher amount of water in your breast and nettle tea distracts water from your body so it will (for most people) relief some of the pain.
Herbal tea in general may help with cycle related issues. Lady's coat tea regulates your hormonal balance hence may help in every phase of your cycle. And then there are special tea mixtures for the first phase of your cycle (to shorten it, if it's too long and/or help with ovulation) and the second phase of your cycle (to stabilize that phase so that the fertilized egg can get implanted - some people have a very short second phase, p. ex. four days, which isn't enough to get pregnant; the second phase lasts - without any medical problems - 16 days at max). Most of the time it's cheaper to buy the herbs for the tea separately and mix it yourself (which isn't complicated). The teas don't taste that great though, and you have to drink quite a lot on a daily basis to have an effect on your body.
Recently I watched Rhod Gilbert’s documentary about male fertility (it is still on BBC iPlayer) where he talks about the fertility industry being marketed towards women/people with vaginas and how the male/people with testicles role is hardly ever addressed. It takes two to make a baby and it’s like the media and health industry has forgotten that. The documentary talks about how 50% of difficulties conceiving are due to or in part due to the quality of the sperm. It also addressed the difficulties men/people with testicles have in talking about fertility and how there are no support groups for them. Worth a watch I think. I certainly learnt a few things!
As someone who doesn't expect to ever want children, I still feel so much emotions about this and I hope for the best ❤
Thank you so much for your honesty. This video was so encouraging and informative 💖
Thank you for your real time commentary! I have a history of 200+ day cycles. I know what it's like to be excited over getting it! My husband and I have been trying for 15 months now. Its nice to hear from another on this journey!
I love your honesty about all of this! All of my friends with children were always like “We got pregnant right away!” Which statistically can’t be true, but I think most of them were just scared to admit the truth, because it always seems like just an “easy” thing to get pregnant. We were very lucky as it only took us two cycles to conceive, but the 3 negative test I took (since my period was late during the first cycle) might just as well have been 100 tests! Also I feel the pressure of not getting pregnant with a second child, since once you have had a baby once, people just seem to assume it’s ok to ask you if you’re “trying again” 🙄
Withdrawal worked for us from December 2018- July 2020!!! Even throughout ovulation!!!
Sending you all the baby dust love 🧚♀️♥️
Thank you so so much for making these videos! We tried to get pregnant for 5 years and FINALLY it happened in September 2020 so I am relating so hard to your journey. Not saying that it'll take that long for you at all though, wishing you all the best!
I’m loving the resurrection of this series! Would you be able to touch on the differences you might have getting/being pregnant with a stoma (assuming you haven’t already and i missed it!)? I’d love to see your first hand perspective on it!
It's so weird how we are brought up to think we could get pregnant instantly. If we skip one pill, you could get pregnant! If you're sick while on the pill, you could be pregnant! And yet when you start trying you realise that the sperm has to make it all the way in, the lining of your womb has to be the right thickness, the temperature correct, the sperm implant at the right time the egg is there not too early or too late 😂 it's truly a miracle when you think what needs to be exactly right!
Also you are so correct in the reality of emotionally processing it not happening straight away. Its such a hard journey because it is so different for everyone and we can only control so much.
All the best with it 💕
I'd be really interested to see a graph comparing withdrawal to the rhythm method and see if thinking you know you're ovulating makes a difference in getting pregnant when you're not trying
Some women can feel when they ovulate though. It's creepy and it hurts like being kicked in the stomach.
So happy and grateful for this series 💛
I relate so hard to the whole "omg I'm actually average wtf" bc it hardly ever happens 😂
I said this in the last video but I LOVE the hormone diaries!!! Always very excited when you upload!! Much love!!
Hey! Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and your journey with us. Don't forget where you started and how much you've learnt in the last 6 months. Power pose. It helps. You're a strong woman and you've got this 💪😊❤
Both me and my brother took almost a year of trying for my parents but here we are. While, of course, it's difficult and the possibility that it might not happen is inevitably there, don't lose hope!
I am adoring this season! Thanks so much for sharing and being so honest about your journey xx
😱 I am twenty years old, and the idea that “having penis/vagina sex without contraception or fertility issues _doesn’t_ always lead to pregnancy” is brand-new information to me. I’ve never had sex, but I’ve spent years assuming that a single slip-up would land you with one.
Of course, that’s not to say I’d be any less careful in the future!
I was the same. So whenever I did end up having unprotected sex (call it the “heat of the moment” and being in love and stupid) I was convinced I was pregnant and ... nope. Not saying that you shouldn’t use contraception, just saying that the whole “you will instantly get pregnant if you have sex once” is probably made up to make sure teens use protection. Which, I do support, don’t get me wrong.
I love that graph, I always show it to people who don't really understand how perfect use and typical use vary.
I relate to this video SO MUCH! My husband and I have been trying for the last few months, and it’s definitely been hard getting my period each month. I, too, was totally confident I would get pregnant on the first try! We just have to keep being positive. It will happen!
I think it’s normal to expect that you’ll get pregnant in the first few weeks of trying - and okay, too! I think it’s good to go into it with that positive attitude instead of anticipating difficulty. In the end, I really feel that you’ll get the family that you want, it’s just frustrating when you don’t know: do we keep trying naturally for 6 more months? 12 more months? Do we try fertility treatments? IVF? Adoption? I think if we knew upfront, we could just accept that fate and get going with that method instead of stressing about it. The not knowing is so hard on us emotionally. I love your honesty and can’t wait to see you and Dan become parents! Keep sharing, Hannah, I love these vids ❤️❤️
I’ve been using the pull out method with my partner/s for 15 + years and it works if it is done properly. Also knowing your cycle/ when you ovulate is good so you can avoid ovulation days if you’re really nervous.
My husband and I were doing the not actively trying but not using protection for about a year, then we actively tried for almost a year before we got pregnant. I totally understand your feelings completely. It is hard, especially if you are surrounded by people getting pregnant seemingly so easily.
Love this series of the hormone diaries! You are fab Hannah
I just looked at that article and I am shocked! I always thought condoms and withdrawal were really unreliable... But they are low with perfect use (I understand that they can be hard to perfect)
I love this series!
Good luck on this baby journey! We tried for two years, then had a histerosalpingiagram , test to check Fallopian tubes, then got pregnant!!!!!!!!
Thanks for documenting this journey! It's fascinating and an intimate view on something really important (for Humanity survival at least!) and that has such a profound impact on our lives... You are very brave to expose yourself, and we are very thankful for that... Good luck on this first step to both of you and lots of love and respect!
I love this series so much! So real and raw and I have so much respect for you putting your journey online.
I’m currently pregnant with my second, but I so get the wanting to be pregnant and not being. The wait is sometimes long, but worth it to work on that time with your partner. ♥️
I love this series so much! I loved it the first time and love it now and appreciate your vulnerability.
We are trying to conceive also, but I have PCOS which makes things difficult. Been off birth control for more than a year, really trying for about 6 months (cycles... really ends up being more than 6 months since my cycle is so long), and about to start cycle 3 of medical intervention. You're not alone in your journey! Wishing you luck!
Your boobs being in pain after ovulation is more your body preparing for a posable pregnancy, the same with any other simptoms is your body preparing itself for a possible pregnancy.
Those are symptoms of your period too.
Yeah but doesn’t it seem like a punishment? She knows all this, it’s just kind of a sense of humor thing
That’s actually not the case lol, it’s a response to fluctuating hormones.
This video makes me appreciate the Australian education system a lot more because most of the stuff on contraception I learnt during school this year.
One of the things these studies seem to always ignore is combining methods. Like calendar and withdrawal together. IE you use withdrawl during non-fertile times and during your fertile period you abstain from sex or do non-PIV sex.
Me and my husband are in the same boat! We hate condoms but are planning on trying after April as our honeymoon is then cause I want to have a drink on the beach but at the same time we haven’t been preventing at all 🤷♀️ I’m enjoying this series! It’s nice to see someone else who is going through it too
I have never in my life seen a bride say yayyy when she got her period the week of her wedding 😂 that is literally my worse fear infact i may just take period delay tablets the week before and week off even if im not due.. Because im NOT doing that 😂
Knowing that many people that had problems with conceiving I thought it will take much time for me to get pregnant. Surprisingly it happened in first cycle of trying, so we were extra happy. Unfortunately our son was stillborn at 39th week. It took me a few months to get my hormones back to normal, and then every month trying was sooo painful. Now I’m in this weird time in between , when the pregnancy test is positive, but the pregnancy itself is still not confirmed with beating heart during ultrasound scan. So I’m so familiar with rationalizing.. “Yeah, I have to give my body more time after birth.” “This is normal, this could take even a year” “don’t get your hopes up, until third month anything could happen” . Sharing such things as that you are trying to conceive or maybe there are some difficulties, health issues really helps up. Also you can’t find so many people around that care and will be supportive, some of them may really surprise you :)
Thanks for your videos newly subscribed! Thank you for making these topics more normal!