Better yet, don’t ask...just share it back...’out of love’. Seriously if a man isn’t RECEIVING FROM HIS WIFE...HER feelings, HER desires, and what her interests are, he is NOT walking in love according to Deuteronomy 24 and 1 Cor 13, where ‘Love is not rude’, and ‘love seeks not its own ‘.
I talked to my husband about this, since oral sex is a regular part of our sex life. I asked him if oral sex is, to him, about dominance, and I asked him how he felt about swallowing. He said it was purely the sensation that he enjoyed and that he has never thought of it from a perspective of being powerful. He wouldn't be offended if I didn't swallow but thought it might imply to him that I thought the experience was gross and - by association - he was gross.
This makes the most sense to me. I have no doubt some men have the dominance expectation like Sheila said but I believe many other men are like your husband.
"If he is aroused by you being totally debased and humiliated there is a problem" yes, totally agree. I swallow but only because it is convenient, and I like to be in control the whole time. If my hubby forced it and was rude about it then we would have a problem. But if anything I had to convince him that I prefer to swallow and don't mind it. Unless I am pregnant. Even kissing is difficult when I am pregnant lol. I don't even want to share my drink when I am pregnant.
Swallowing...i would say that he picked this up from porn but that doesn't automatically mean humiliation is involved. It could just as likely be connected with acceptance and desire. My advice would be for the wife to agree to do it in future if he did it himself first. He'll probably drop the matter.
For the "swallowing" answer, I think focusing on the desire for humiliation was not very beneficial. It is certainly in the realm of possibilities, however, thinking that this desire is likely from porn and is manifesting from a desire to dominate and humiliate and not from a desire to be desired--to know that your wife loves your body, loves your sexuality, loves the sexual response that she can give to you--is short sighted. Please reconsider your list of possibilities and understanding of what men want in order to feel intimacy and know their wives as God wants us to know each other. Unfortunately this will put into the minds of women that they have a reason to suspect that their husbands are not who they say they are.
I understand where you are coming from. However, as much as I love many things I don't necessarily want to ingest it. Like my husband doesn't do certain things when I am lactating because he doesn't want to ingest breast milk. It would be odd if I were somehow insulted or hurt by his preference to not ingest that. It would be weird if I assumed he lived my body less because of his choice to not swallow it.
Real SIMPLE! Ask HIM to receive in HIS MOUTH what you have in yours, as an act of love to you !
Better yet, don’t ask...just share it back...’out of love’. Seriously if a man isn’t RECEIVING FROM HIS WIFE...HER feelings, HER desires, and what her interests are, he is NOT walking in love according to Deuteronomy 24 and 1 Cor 13, where ‘Love is not rude’, and ‘love seeks not its own ‘.
I talked to my husband about this, since oral sex is a regular part of our sex life. I asked him if oral sex is, to him, about dominance, and I asked him how he felt about swallowing. He said it was purely the sensation that he enjoyed and that he has never thought of it from a perspective of being powerful. He wouldn't be offended if I didn't swallow but thought it might imply to him that I thought the experience was gross and - by association - he was gross.
This makes the most sense to me. I have no doubt some men have the dominance expectation like Sheila said but I believe many other men are like your husband.
"If he is aroused by you being totally debased and humiliated there is a problem" yes, totally agree.
I swallow but only because it is convenient, and I like to be in control the whole time. If my hubby forced it and was rude about it then we would have a problem. But if anything I had to convince him that I prefer to swallow and don't mind it. Unless I am pregnant. Even kissing is difficult when I am pregnant lol. I don't even want to share my drink when I am pregnant.
Swallowing...i would say that he picked this up from porn but that doesn't automatically mean humiliation is involved. It could just as likely be connected with acceptance and desire. My advice would be for the wife to agree to do it in future if he did it himself first. He'll probably drop the matter.
For the "swallowing" answer, I think focusing on the desire for humiliation was not very beneficial. It is certainly in the realm of possibilities, however, thinking that this desire is likely from porn and is manifesting from a desire to dominate and humiliate and not from a desire to be desired--to know that your wife loves your body, loves your sexuality, loves the sexual response that she can give to you--is short sighted. Please reconsider your list of possibilities and understanding of what men want in order to feel intimacy and know their wives as God wants us to know each other.
Unfortunately this will put into the minds of women that they have a reason to suspect that their husbands are not who they say they are.
raceviper13 Well said.
I tend to agree with Sheila.
I understand where you are coming from. However, as much as I love many things I don't necessarily want to ingest it. Like my husband doesn't do certain things when I am lactating because he doesn't want to ingest breast milk. It would be odd if I were somehow insulted or hurt by his preference to not ingest that. It would be weird if I assumed he lived my body less because of his choice to not swallow it.