I could listen to this guy for hours. The fact that as an FBI negotiator, he had to deal with extreme stress and crisis with people who are mentally unbalanced and not’regular’ requires an awesome amount of self awareness and ackowledgement of the other person’s perspective. Fascinating.
100% agree. I wonder if he came in a different package (not white male) what his take would be...but I agree that alot of this stuff is relevant no matter who you are. Also his accent makes him sound very much like "I am one of you guys". Which helps re: some of his examples.
“ your talking to me all wrong , it’s the wrong tone … you do it again I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron “😄 * Christopher Walken in Joe Dirt*
Lewis, excellent interviews. I love Chris. This video is a lifetime of learning. Stuff you can't get in the classroom. I will listen to this over and over!
There's a lot of power in seeing people. I'm not suggesting it as a tool to get something you want from them, just literally to see the humanity and their validity, where they are. Our world has a tendency to see people as objects, or as a means to an end. When we legitimately see and hear someone, it can make their day. When we do it consistently, it can be life changing.
No wonder why the Bible speaks volumes on being still and rewiring our minds. I truly appreciate the generosity and fluency of Voss and his willingness to transfer and share knowledge for a better individual or group development so gracefully and in good faith. He does speak on being opportunistic, yet for the good of a situation and good guard.
Big win alert! I’ve earned an additional 32% raise just by implementing Chris Voss’s mirroring and labeling techniques-and as an introvert, no less. If you’ve been hesitant to speak up or struggle with negotiation like I did, trust me, this stuff works! 💼👊 Don’t sleep on these tools-they’re a game-changer for anyone looking to advocate for themselves and add value. _“In business as in life, you don’t get what you deserve you get what you negotiate.”_ - Chester L. Karass
Never spit out your price or demands first. One of the best pieces of advice I learned in sales and negotiations. Unfortunately, sometimes we can drink and eat for hours before someone cracks. 😅
Empathy is just the intellectual understanding of what someone else is going through. What most people mean by "empathy" is _sympathy_ . which is sharing another's feelings. Go to a doctor for your bad back. If you see a glimmer of recognition in your doctor's face, he's had back problems and shares your pain. This is sympathy. If he just asks you questions to determine your range of movement, amount of pain, etc., he understands your back problem intellectually, and is demonstrating empathy (and good doctoring). Compassion is the doctor who makes a house call to bring you a bottle of painkillers -- he's acting to ease your distress. You'll probably find something in his background where he was in great distress, and so relates to you emotionally (sympathy), and because he's kind-hearted, he's gone out of his way to help you (compassion). Pity is where most humans feel. It has a tinge of self-righteousness to it. "If those dear, dear people didn't do drugs, they wouldn't be living in squalor on the streets, poor bastards." Does he stop to help? No. Does he try to understand their feelings or situations? No. Does he relate to them emotionally? No. He feels pity.
Just listening to your New York swagger is the most seductive , masculine thing a man can have. Don’t know which show you said you were not a high I Q guy but I can’t believe that. The tests have failed. You mesmerize women and probably men too and you know it! I can’t turn you off , and I‘be learned so much.
Thanks for this. So enjoyed the questions you asked him to flesh out the principles. Great video! Sounds like you're passionate about sharing knowledge with the world 😊
Indeed, we must respect others' models of the world. And respect the person but not necessarily their actions because their actions can be changed anytime. We are not our behaviors.
*Pity is feeling sorry for another, but there's a tinge of self-righteousness to pity. Pity is the lowest form of feeling for others who are in some sort of distress. It's seeing a dog lying at the side of the street, still alive but injured, and saying, "Poor bastards; that's gotta hurt," but nothing more. It's the most common among humans. *Sympathy is sharing another's feelings (usually used to refer to those in distress). We see it in the little boy whose dog needs shots. At the vet's, the boy rightly states that his dog is scared, so he pets his dog. When the vet injects the shot, the dog whimpers, and the boy rightly says it hurt his dog. Through his own tears, the boy says his dog is crying (meaning it's still scared and feels the pain of the shot). *Empathy is an intellectual understanding of another's feelings. It's the vet who knows his patient, the dog, is scared and will feel pain when injected, but the vet doesn't share the dog's misery. The term empathy is misused OFTEN today, thanks largely to people not understanding what empathy is, who make UA-cam videos. We now hear of "empaths," which is a word not used by professionals in psychology or psychiatry, who like to believe that they feel the feelings of others. No, they generally show clear signs of Borderline Personality Disorder, where their inner lives are chaotic, and they project their own feelings onto others, then claim they know what those others are feeling. *Compassion is sympathy or empathy (can actually even stem from pity), but it adds action, kindness, love, and so on. Compassion is when the little boy pets his dog and speaks softly to his dog to calm his dog's fear and to distract his dog from the pain of the injection. Compassion is rare among humans.
2:18:50 Wow... What year was this interview recorded? It's interesting how he brings up 'Tom Girardi', and how nice he is. Look at all the scandal he's involved with now. It just goes to show that just because you're nice, doesn't mean you're honest and ethical. In fact, we should probably be MORE on our guard, the nicer an Opponent, Attorney or FBI Agent is!
The problem is, there ARE genuinely nice, honest and ethical people in this world, and these Attorney's & FBI Agents make them look bad, because they have hidden motives, and use kindness to manipulate people.
THINK! " The best way and ONLY way to ALWAYS WIN is to let them vent and NEVER respond. Why? Silence speaks MORE volumes then any negative e-motion. NEVER increase anyone's e-motion with one word. NOT 1. EVENTSually, they will get it, ... or not. "
The level of conscious manipulation that is promoted to screw people, knowingly, doesn't sit well with me, no matter if you do it and they don't feel ground down. There's lots to learn here, but there is such capacity for exploitation when the goal is not a sincere and balanced win win outcome. I'm in the building industry and when the negotiator made a million off the sub contractor because she could, I wondered why this was held as the best outcome. Hostage negotiation I get and honor because of what's at risk, but some if the business stuff is slippery slope skanky.
no clue who either of these people are. it popped up it has me intrigued for over 20 minutes now. but I got to get something done today. I don't have 3 hours so I put my Bluetooth headphone on and operate my chainsaw and see what I can pick up from it if nothing else is nice coming voice it's different from music. good stuff guys! I've learned I've agreed I do agree and yes I practice and precipitate on that 30% all the time and I get it cuz I'm funny and unfriendly and I joke around. interesting concept on the aggravation tax! I'm definitely getting my 30 instead of my 15 or 20 from here on out... =:))
Some interesting strategies and for the male gender they would work quite nicely. The make ego is a different animal than the female ego. As a woman, many of those would not work on me. I would be, look, just cut to the chase. Sincerity is important to me. I don't like games. Just saying.
Me too. I lead with “this is the deal, take it or leave it.” It’s no sweat off my back. I actually get *really* annoyed by people who try to negotiate with me in my business. I feel like they are trying to cheat me, and most of the time they are. I do not negotiate with terrorists. 😁 Nothing pisses me off more than sensing someone is trying to manipulate me or manage me. My relationships are based on sincerity and making a strong logical argument. I don’t want to be heard. I want to convince you with a strong defense of my poso, and if I don’t, I want you to convince me with a better argument.
It's a great podcast and teaches people a great deal. It's just that when women are praised for being better than men at things does not go down well the equality route, and men have lost their voice; if it was the other way round it would have been sexist...feel free to disagree but that's me
I don't agree with Chris's definition of Sympathy and Empathy. Empathy is about knowing someone else's experience because they too have been through it too. Sympathy is imagining what it might be like to go though an experience, but never been though it themselves. I can have sympathy for a mom that went though birth. I can imagine and feel what that might feel like but I can never empathize with her as I have never given birth. Other moms can have empathy cause they know what its like to give birth.
Are you actually comparing stroking someone's ego to empathy? I've never been more insulted! I don't stroke egos. I lost at "life" because of it ! but at least I'll die proud ! For me.. the amazing miracle that I am, you need to earn respect!
Re-airing this podcast was perhaps not the best idea since Voss has been recently critised for his negotian tactics being "manipulative" rather than ethical. "Social media backlash has emerged with users questioning the effectiveness of his strategies in real world situations". In my opinion, he looks and sounds like the sneak he apparently is.
I could listen to this guy for hours. The fact that as an FBI negotiator, he had to deal with extreme stress and crisis with people who are mentally unbalanced and not’regular’ requires an awesome amount of self awareness and ackowledgement of the other person’s perspective. Fascinating.
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
A big part of his power is the tone of his voice.
That's his late night DJ voice
100% agree. I wonder if he came in a different package (not white male) what his take would be...but I agree that alot of this stuff is relevant no matter who you are. Also his accent makes him sound very much like "I am one of you guys". Which helps re: some of his examples.
Agreed
“ your talking to me all wrong , it’s the wrong tone … you do it again I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron “😄
* Christopher Walken in Joe Dirt*
Omg yes 😍
Lewis, excellent interviews. I love Chris. This video is a lifetime of learning. Stuff you can't get in the classroom. I will listen to this over and over!
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@@lewishowes😊
Do you know why this interview felt good even after I read all his books. Because of your questions.
Valid questions. Cheers.
Keep going brother.
So glad to hear that from you, we'll keep at it! Thank you so much for watching! 💯🙏
This guy is incredible
Cool and calm and honoring
Keyword here is honoring.
I will be reading his book. As a family law attorney I see how his strategies will work during some high conflict mediations.
There's a lot of power in seeing people. I'm not suggesting it as a tool to get something you want from them, just literally to see the humanity and their validity, where they are.
Our world has a tendency to see people as objects, or as a means to an end. When we legitimately see and hear someone, it can make their day. When we do it consistently, it can be life changing.
No wonder why the Bible speaks volumes on being still and rewiring our minds. I truly appreciate the generosity and fluency of Voss and his willingness to transfer and share knowledge for a better individual or group development so gracefully and in good faith. He does speak on being opportunistic, yet for the good of a situation and good guard.
I am so thankful for educational platforms like this thank you for the knowledge 🙏
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
@@lewishowes🎉
@@lewishowes🎉 1:36:26 🎉
Big win alert! I’ve earned an additional 32% raise just by implementing Chris Voss’s mirroring and labeling techniques-and as an introvert, no less. If you’ve been hesitant to speak up or struggle with negotiation like I did, trust me, this stuff works! 💼👊 Don’t sleep on these tools-they’re a game-changer for anyone looking to advocate for themselves and add value.
_“In business as in life, you don’t get what you deserve you get what you negotiate.”_
- Chester L. Karass
Loved this. I been getting taken advantage of my whole life.
set boundries, and DON'T let them be moved. becomes a reflex pretty fast, if you NEVER compromise. trust me
Never spit out your price or demands first. One of the best pieces of advice I learned in sales and negotiations. Unfortunately, sometimes we can drink and eat for hours before someone cracks. 😅
and?
What a terrific interview. Thank you, Lewis! You consistently over-deliver with your interviews.
Fascinating interview!!! I am learning so much🤩
Happy to hear this!
Thank you so much for releasing this!
Empathy is just the intellectual understanding of what someone else is going through. What most people mean by "empathy" is _sympathy_ . which is sharing another's feelings. Go to a doctor for your bad back. If you see a glimmer of recognition in your doctor's face, he's had back problems and shares your pain. This is sympathy. If he just asks you questions to determine your range of movement, amount of pain, etc., he understands your back problem intellectually, and is demonstrating empathy (and good doctoring).
Compassion is the doctor who makes a house call to bring you a bottle of painkillers -- he's acting to ease your distress. You'll probably find something in his background where he was in great distress, and so relates to you emotionally (sympathy), and because he's kind-hearted, he's gone out of his way to help you (compassion).
Pity is where most humans feel. It has a tinge of self-righteousness to it. "If those dear, dear people didn't do drugs, they wouldn't be living in squalor on the streets, poor bastards." Does he stop to help? No. Does he try to understand their feelings or situations? No. Does he relate to them emotionally? No. He feels pity.
Love this educational interview! Wow! His voice is so calm but firm and persuasive. Thank you for sharing this 🙏
🧡
Bien contente d'avoir écouté. Belle chimie entre vous deux
Merci
Wow this is such a powerful video. It’s not about getting it over on the other guy. I love this approach. ❤. His tone of voice is a big help also.
Thanks for being here!
Just listening to your New York swagger is the most seductive , masculine thing a man can have. Don’t know which show you said you were not a high I Q guy but I can’t believe that. The tests have failed. You mesmerize women and probably men too and you know it! I can’t turn you off , and I‘be learned so much.
This is really informative and useful! Thank you for sharing your expertise!
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
Very nice interview. Thanks
You're welcome, thank you for being here 🧡
I love this man I need to meet him ❤
Love these discussions!
Chris uses a Voss brand sparkling water bottle as his juice container, that's hilarious... =)
😂😂 looking for this comment
He’s resourceful. 😊
Thanks for this. So enjoyed the questions you asked him to flesh out the principles. Great video! Sounds like you're passionate about sharing knowledge with the world 😊
Thank you so much! Your comment made my day 😊
Only a few minutes in and I just learned something huge about myself
Appreciate you for listening! 🧡
Elaborate
Indeed, we must respect others' models of the world. And respect the person but not necessarily their actions because their actions can be changed anytime. We are not our behaviors.
Thank you
You're welcome, thank you for watching!
Thank you so much...
Very goooood
Great content as usual.
So interesting, i will listen to this twi ce; To get it to sink in ! !
Thank you!
You need to see how i abandon everything am doing when ever i get your notification,
I think am addicted to this channel.
So glad you enjoy the channel! Thanks for being here!
I love this, Question: how do you approach a known and prominent person and ask to work "with" him?
This is mind blowing 🤯
Thanks so much for this video and I’m getting the book for sure! I got so much work to do ❤
You're welcome, thank you for being here 🧡
Auras are real! Energy is real! 100%
thanks
Which could be viewed as a weakness, since respect is perspective that changes from indivuals groups ect
Reminds me of Mike on Breaking Bad.
"What's the journey to the opportunity and what are the obstacles in route?"
am so thankful for educationa
Learning so much from this😮
Excellent!!
Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂
3h? That is great
Symphony is feeling sorry for another. Empathy is communicating that you have felt the way they feel now
*Pity is feeling sorry for another, but there's a tinge of self-righteousness to pity. Pity is the lowest form of feeling for others who are in some sort of distress. It's seeing a dog lying at the side of the street, still alive but injured, and saying, "Poor bastards; that's gotta hurt," but nothing more. It's the most common among humans.
*Sympathy is sharing another's feelings (usually used to refer to those in distress). We see it in the little boy whose dog needs shots. At the vet's, the boy rightly states that his dog is scared, so he pets his dog. When the vet injects the shot, the dog whimpers, and the boy rightly says it hurt his dog. Through his own tears, the boy says his dog is crying (meaning it's still scared and feels the pain of the shot).
*Empathy is an intellectual understanding of another's feelings. It's the vet who knows his patient, the dog, is scared and will feel pain when injected, but the vet doesn't share the dog's misery. The term empathy is misused OFTEN today, thanks largely to people not understanding what empathy is, who make UA-cam videos. We now hear of "empaths," which is a word not used by professionals in psychology or psychiatry, who like to believe that they feel the feelings of others. No, they generally show clear signs of Borderline Personality Disorder, where their inner lives are chaotic, and they project their own feelings onto others, then claim they know what those others are feeling.
*Compassion is sympathy or empathy (can actually even stem from pity), but it adds action, kindness, love, and so on. Compassion is when the little boy pets his dog and speaks softly to his dog to calm his dog's fear and to distract his dog from the pain of the injection. Compassion is rare among humans.
pst - your auto thngy misstook your first word for a wrong one.
I will start adopting his voice tone.
i call it “mental boxing “
My guy looks like the Scott's Porage Oats man.
I want a Flawed Human being shirt!!!
Very good
Awesome
Is this a repost or a new interview?
HIS VOICE THO
?
2:18:50
Wow...
What year was this interview recorded?
It's interesting how he brings up 'Tom Girardi', and how nice he is.
Look at all the scandal he's involved with now.
It just goes to show that just because you're nice, doesn't mean you're honest and ethical.
In fact, we should probably be MORE on our guard, the nicer an Opponent, Attorney or FBI Agent is!
It was recorded in 2016
Correct! I don’t get good vibes from this guy.
The problem is, there ARE genuinely nice, honest and ethical people in this world, and these Attorney's & FBI Agents make them look bad, because they have hidden motives, and use kindness to manipulate people.
THINK!
" The best way and ONLY way to ALWAYS WIN is to let them vent and NEVER respond. Why? Silence speaks MORE volumes then any negative e-motion. NEVER increase anyone's e-motion with one word. NOT 1. EVENTSually, they will get it, ... or not. "
It's Kali Yuga;
The age of argument, so,
Expect hypocrisy, and widespread dissent , just chant Maha mantra.
🕉️🌹🙏
Hare Om Tat Sat ♥️
Feel bad hearing him with his cold. But I do love hearing his wealth of knowledge.
The level of conscious manipulation that is promoted to screw people, knowingly, doesn't sit well with me, no matter if you do it and they don't feel ground down. There's lots to learn here, but there is such capacity for exploitation when the goal is not a sincere and balanced win win outcome. I'm in the building industry and when the negotiator made a million off the sub contractor because she could, I wondered why this was held as the best outcome. Hostage negotiation I get and honor because of what's at risk, but some if the business stuff is slippery slope skanky.
I agree, very well put.
timestamps pls
Everybody is controlling period. Respectful.
Emotional recognition cut me a break!! Toodalooo
i call a black swan a “curve ball” in negotiations i ask them about baseball then tell them im going to throw a curve ball
Weird to hear Voss use Tom Girardi's name as a positive example. Definitely recorded a while ago.
He has a dope voice it’s neutral lol
the red kaballah bracelet
no clue who either of these people are. it popped up it has me intrigued for over 20 minutes now. but I got to get something done today. I don't have 3 hours so I put my Bluetooth headphone on and operate my chainsaw and see what I can pick up from it if nothing else is nice coming voice it's different from music. good stuff guys! I've learned I've agreed I do agree and yes I practice and precipitate on that 30% all the time and I get it cuz I'm funny and unfriendly and I joke around. interesting concept on the aggravation tax! I'm definitely getting my 30 instead of my 15 or 20 from here on out... =:))
Thanks for being here!
Some interesting strategies and for the male gender they would work quite nicely. The make ego is a different animal than the female ego. As a woman, many of those would not work on me. I would be, look, just cut to the chase. Sincerity is important to me. I don't like games. Just saying.
Me too. I lead with “this is the deal, take it or leave it.” It’s no sweat off my back. I actually get *really* annoyed by people who try to negotiate with me in my business. I feel like they are trying to cheat me, and most of the time they are. I do not negotiate with terrorists. 😁 Nothing pisses me off more than sensing someone is trying to manipulate me or manage me. My relationships are based on sincerity and making a strong logical argument. I don’t want to be heard. I want to convince you with a strong defense of my poso, and if I don’t, I want you to convince me with a better argument.
it's about you not even realising, that you are in a game.
It's a great podcast and teaches people a great deal. It's just that when women are praised for being better than men at things does not go down well the equality route, and men have lost their voice; if it was the other way round it would have been sexist...feel free to disagree but that's me
Tactical empathy? Sociopathic in any other venue than negotiating. Be careful out there.
Be a woman 👩 you win every time
I don't agree with Chris's definition of Sympathy and Empathy.
Empathy is about knowing someone else's experience because they too have been through it too.
Sympathy is imagining what it might be like to go though an experience, but never been though it themselves.
I can have sympathy for a mom that went though birth. I can imagine and feel what that might feel like but I can never empathize with her as I have never given birth. Other moms can have empathy cause they know what its like to give birth.
News flash: you don’t have to have experienced the same thing as someone to be empathetic or to experience empathy.
@@stephen-wahl I just defined the difference between Sympathy and Empathy. Read it again.
where is the link to his class - the internet is riddled with garbage.
Here's the official website of Chris Voss www.blackswanltd.com/
@@lewishowes Glad I asked :) I used these techniques with wild success.
So insiteful! [Signed, A woman] ❤
This is the longest interview I had ever watched
Thanks for being here!
Please invite BK Shivani
Pretty sure he got the definitions of sympathy and empathy wrong.
Federer can tell you how to win any tennis match. It doesn’t mean you can do it. GET REAL!
Thats true. I wonder if these techniques work with everyday person. He is a trained professional and spent his whole life doing it.
So much game playing. Time consuming. I prefer straight forward transparency
😊
👋👏👏👏👍
Are you actually comparing stroking someone's ego to empathy? I've never been more insulted! I don't stroke egos. I lost at "life" because of it ! but at least I'll die proud ! For me.. the amazing miracle that I am, you need to earn respect!
Re-airing this podcast was perhaps not the best idea since Voss has been recently critised for his negotian tactics being "manipulative" rather than ethical. "Social media backlash has emerged with users questioning the effectiveness of his strategies in real world situations". In my opinion, he looks and sounds like the sneak he apparently is.
Is Chris Voss married? Cuz he’s hot.
I simply dont talk to u people..chal nikal.