FBI Negotiator REVEALS How To Win ANY Negotiation & Argument | Chris Voss & Lewis Howes

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  • Опубліковано 22 жов 2022
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 112

  • @KRollSweets
    @KRollSweets Рік тому +67

    A big part of his power is the tone of his voice.

    • @cactusjackhausen8508
      @cactusjackhausen8508 Рік тому +6

      That's his late night DJ voice

    • @successandspirit
      @successandspirit Рік тому +3

      100% agree. I wonder if he came in a different package (not white male) what his take would be...but I agree that alot of this stuff is relevant no matter who you are. Also his accent makes him sound very much like "I am one of you guys". Which helps re: some of his examples.

    • @rodneynehring1782
      @rodneynehring1782 Рік тому

      Agreed

    • @JamesBond-ym2gv
      @JamesBond-ym2gv Рік тому +2

      “ your talking to me all wrong , it’s the wrong tone … you do it again I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron “😄
      * Christopher Walken in Joe Dirt*

    • @athena6307
      @athena6307 3 місяці тому

      Omg yes 😍

  • @louciaisaac3808
    @louciaisaac3808 Рік тому +16

    No wonder why the Bible speaks volumes on being still and rewiring our minds. I truly appreciate the generosity and fluency of Voss and his willingness to transfer and share knowledge for a better individual or group development so gracefully and in good faith. He does speak on being opportunistic, yet for the good of a situation and good guard.

  • @mikeshirk2703
    @mikeshirk2703 9 місяців тому +13

    Lewis, excellent interviews. I love Chris. This video is a lifetime of learning. Stuff you can't get in the classroom. I will listen to this over and over!

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  9 місяців тому +3

      So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

    • @judyfox2765
      @judyfox2765 6 місяців тому

      ​@@lewishowes😊

  • @kay-annwaiteesq.1427
    @kay-annwaiteesq.1427 Рік тому +27

    I will be reading his book. As a family law attorney I see how his strategies will work during some high conflict mediations.

  • @tenajackson868
    @tenajackson868 Рік тому +15

    This guy is incredible
    Cool and calm and honoring

  • @rochellebroglen4155
    @rochellebroglen4155 8 місяців тому +2

    There's a lot of power in seeing people. I'm not suggesting it as a tool to get something you want from them, just literally to see the humanity and their validity, where they are.
    Our world has a tendency to see people as objects, or as a means to an end. When we legitimately see and hear someone, it can make their day. When we do it consistently, it can be life changing.

  • @fatimaramirez80
    @fatimaramirez80 Рік тому +16

    I am so thankful for educational platforms like this thank you for the knowledge 🙏

  • @vipin4974
    @vipin4974 7 місяців тому +3

    Do you know why this interview felt good even after I read all his books. Because of your questions.
    Valid questions. Cheers.
    Keep going brother.

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  7 місяців тому +1

      So glad to hear that from you, we'll keep at it! Thank you so much for watching! 💯🙏

  • @The_Mechanic_Dad
    @The_Mechanic_Dad Рік тому +30

    Never spit out your price or demands first. One of the best pieces of advice I learned in sales and negotiations. Unfortunately, sometimes we can drink and eat for hours before someone cracks. 😅

  • @shootermcgavin4999
    @shootermcgavin4999 Рік тому +11

    Loved this. I been getting taken advantage of my whole life.

    • @CONEHEADDK
      @CONEHEADDK Рік тому +1

      set boundries, and DON'T let them be moved. becomes a reflex pretty fast, if you NEVER compromise. trust me

  • @rubynibs
    @rubynibs Рік тому +12

    Empathy is just the intellectual understanding of what someone else is going through. What most people mean by "empathy" is _sympathy_ . which is sharing another's feelings. Go to a doctor for your bad back. If you see a glimmer of recognition in your doctor's face, he's had back problems and shares your pain. This is sympathy. If he just asks you questions to determine your range of movement, amount of pain, etc., he understands your back problem intellectually, and is demonstrating empathy (and good doctoring).
    Compassion is the doctor who makes a house call to bring you a bottle of painkillers -- he's acting to ease your distress. You'll probably find something in his background where he was in great distress, and so relates to you emotionally (sympathy), and because he's kind-hearted, he's gone out of his way to help you (compassion).
    Pity is where most humans feel. It has a tinge of self-righteousness to it. "If those dear, dear people didn't do drugs, they wouldn't be living in squalor on the streets, poor bastards." Does he stop to help? No. Does he try to understand their feelings or situations? No. Does he relate to them emotionally? No. He feels pity.

  • @StandingForTruthMinistries
    @StandingForTruthMinistries Рік тому +2

    Love these discussions!

  • @ps-gq5km
    @ps-gq5km Рік тому +4

    Chris uses a Voss brand sparkling water bottle as his juice container, that's hilarious... =)

  • @GoodStuffForeverMore
    @GoodStuffForeverMore Рік тому +9

    Fascinating interview!!! I am learning so much🤩

  • @Aiyan777
    @Aiyan777 Рік тому +12

    Love this educational interview! Wow! His voice is so calm but firm and persuasive. Thank you for sharing this 🙏

  • @mikekimmel8544
    @mikekimmel8544 5 місяців тому

    What a terrific interview. Thank you, Lewis! You consistently over-deliver with your interviews.

  • @lj9524
    @lj9524 Рік тому +3

    This is really informative and useful! Thank you for sharing your expertise!

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  Рік тому +1

      You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

  • @vesnaroberson1239
    @vesnaroberson1239 Рік тому

    Thank you so much...

  • @tashkronayt1273
    @tashkronayt1273 Рік тому +1

    This is mind blowing 🤯

  • @gloriamitchell3518
    @gloriamitchell3518 9 місяців тому

    Great content as usual.

  • @craigosterberg5045
    @craigosterberg5045 Рік тому +5

    Very nice interview. Thanks

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  Рік тому +1

      You're welcome, thank you for being here 🧡

  • @FERNANDOAMENDIVIL
    @FERNANDOAMENDIVIL Рік тому +5

    THINK!
    " The best way and ONLY way to ALWAYS WIN is to let them vent and NEVER respond. Why? Silence speaks MORE volumes then any negative e-motion. NEVER increase anyone's e-motion with one word. NOT 1. EVENTSually, they will get it, ... or not. "

  • @LIVINGINORLANDO.
    @LIVINGINORLANDO. Рік тому

    Learning so much from this😮

  • @rosalindhouser4007
    @rosalindhouser4007 Рік тому +2

    I love this man I need to meet him ❤

  • @K99749
    @K99749 6 місяців тому

    Thanks for this. So enjoyed the questions you asked him to flesh out the principles. Great video! Sounds like you're passionate about sharing knowledge with the world 😊

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  6 місяців тому

      Thank you so much! Your comment made my day 😊

  • @timbernicolehermani9541
    @timbernicolehermani9541 11 місяців тому +2

    Wow this is such a powerful video. It’s not about getting it over on the other guy. I love this approach. ❤. His tone of voice is a big help also.

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  11 місяців тому +2

      Thanks for being here!

  • @crystalchampagne5340
    @crystalchampagne5340 Рік тому +27

    Only a few minutes in and I just learned something huge about myself

  • @sylviefallu1156
    @sylviefallu1156 7 місяців тому

    Bien contente d'avoir écouté. Belle chimie entre vous deux
    Merci

  • @rachelchi4633
    @rachelchi4633 Рік тому +7

    Thanks so much for this video and I’m getting the book for sure! I got so much work to do ❤

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  Рік тому +2

      You're welcome, thank you for being here 🧡

  • @CatherinesChronicles_
    @CatherinesChronicles_ Рік тому +1

    So interesting, i will listen to this twi ce; To get it to sink in ! !

  • @deannehorner-godlove8982
    @deannehorner-godlove8982 Рік тому

    Excellent!!

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  Рік тому

      Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂

  • @audreybaldez4056
    @audreybaldez4056 11 місяців тому

    Very goooood

  • @DJRAJEE
    @DJRAJEE Рік тому

    Very good

  • @zaferozveren1244
    @zaferozveren1244 Місяць тому

    My guy looks like the Scott's Porage Oats man.

  • @KeithNashRealtor
    @KeithNashRealtor 6 місяців тому

    Thank you

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  6 місяців тому

      You're welcome, thank you for watching!

  • @QuyenAnhMMO-cl3nz
    @QuyenAnhMMO-cl3nz 9 місяців тому

    am so thankful for educationa

  • @MXF11
    @MXF11 Рік тому +2

    "What's the journey to the opportunity and what are the obstacles in route?"

  • @positivevibe1123
    @positivevibe1123 Місяць тому

    i call it “mental boxing “

  • @carlottatorchia1636
    @carlottatorchia1636 Рік тому

    I love this, Question: how do you approach a known and prominent person and ask to work "with" him?

  • @successandspirit
    @successandspirit Рік тому +1

    Auras are real! Energy is real! 100%

  • @hankhill3417
    @hankhill3417 Рік тому +11

    Be a woman 👩 you win every time

  • @janelmiller5935
    @janelmiller5935 Рік тому

    I want a Flawed Human being shirt!!!

  • @HANNAHLUMERIA-it5rw
    @HANNAHLUMERIA-it5rw 8 місяців тому

    Which could be viewed as a weakness, since respect is perspective that changes from indivuals groups ect

  • @cu7edoll
    @cu7edoll Рік тому +5

    HIS VOICE THO

  • @positivevibe1123
    @positivevibe1123 Місяць тому

    i call a black swan a “curve ball” in negotiations i ask them about baseball then tell them im going to throw a curve ball

  • @foreveryoung999
    @foreveryoung999 Рік тому

    I will start adopting his voice tone.

  • @susanb6789
    @susanb6789 4 місяці тому +1

    The level of conscious manipulation that is promoted to screw people, knowingly, doesn't sit well with me, no matter if you do it and they don't feel ground down. There's lots to learn here, but there is such capacity for exploitation when the goal is not a sincere and balanced win win outcome. I'm in the building industry and when the negotiator made a million off the sub contractor because she could, I wondered why this was held as the best outcome. Hostage negotiation I get and honor because of what's at risk, but some if the business stuff is slippery slope skanky.

  • @tee5210
    @tee5210 Рік тому +3

    Is this a repost or a new interview?

  • @rhymzyoronni3660
    @rhymzyoronni3660 Рік тому +3

    You need to see how i abandon everything am doing when ever i get your notification,
    I think am addicted to this channel.

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  Рік тому +1

      So glad you enjoy the channel! Thanks for being here!

  • @barbarawhite3124
    @barbarawhite3124 Рік тому

    Symphony is feeling sorry for another. Empathy is communicating that you have felt the way they feel now

    • @rubynibs
      @rubynibs Рік тому

      *Pity is feeling sorry for another, but there's a tinge of self-righteousness to pity. Pity is the lowest form of feeling for others who are in some sort of distress. It's seeing a dog lying at the side of the street, still alive but injured, and saying, "Poor bastards; that's gotta hurt," but nothing more. It's the most common among humans.
      *Sympathy is sharing another's feelings (usually used to refer to those in distress). We see it in the little boy whose dog needs shots. At the vet's, the boy rightly states that his dog is scared, so he pets his dog. When the vet injects the shot, the dog whimpers, and the boy rightly says it hurt his dog. Through his own tears, the boy says his dog is crying (meaning it's still scared and feels the pain of the shot).
      *Empathy is an intellectual understanding of another's feelings. It's the vet who knows his patient, the dog, is scared and will feel pain when injected, but the vet doesn't share the dog's misery. The term empathy is misused OFTEN today, thanks largely to people not understanding what empathy is, who make UA-cam videos. We now hear of "empaths," which is a word not used by professionals in psychology or psychiatry, who like to believe that they feel the feelings of others. No, they generally show clear signs of Borderline Personality Disorder, where their inner lives are chaotic, and they project their own feelings onto others, then claim they know what those others are feeling.
      *Compassion is sympathy or empathy (can actually even stem from pity), but it adds action, kindness, love, and so on. Compassion is when the little boy pets his dog and speaks softly to his dog to calm his dog's fear and to distract his dog from the pain of the injection. Compassion is rare among humans.

    • @CONEHEADDK
      @CONEHEADDK Рік тому

      pst - your auto thngy misstook your first word for a wrong one.

  • @lizparenzan4761
    @lizparenzan4761 Рік тому +2

    Weird to hear Voss use Tom Girardi's name as a positive example. Definitely recorded a while ago.

  • @user-vt1mn5vx1k
    @user-vt1mn5vx1k 7 місяців тому

    Everybody is controlling period. Respectful.

  • @annettesanchez4425
    @annettesanchez4425 Рік тому

    Feel bad hearing him with his cold. But I do love hearing his wealth of knowledge.

  • @mandybaker3689
    @mandybaker3689 10 днів тому

    It's Kali Yuga;
    The age of argument, so,
    Expect hypocrisy, and widespread dissent , just chant Maha mantra.
    🕉️🌹🙏
    Hare Om Tat Sat ♥️

  • @skinnycatwithbigears
    @skinnycatwithbigears Рік тому

    Emotional recognition cut me a break!! Toodalooo

  • @viewthoughmyeyes
    @viewthoughmyeyes Рік тому +1

    no clue who either of these people are. it popped up it has me intrigued for over 20 minutes now. but I got to get something done today. I don't have 3 hours so I put my Bluetooth headphone on and operate my chainsaw and see what I can pick up from it if nothing else is nice coming voice it's different from music. good stuff guys! I've learned I've agreed I do agree and yes I practice and precipitate on that 30% all the time and I get it cuz I'm funny and unfriendly and I joke around. interesting concept on the aggravation tax! I'm definitely getting my 30 instead of my 15 or 20 from here on out... =:))

  • @PaulFisherMedia
    @PaulFisherMedia 11 місяців тому

    He has a dope voice it’s neutral lol

  • @Cali_Girl1
    @Cali_Girl1 Рік тому

    2:18:50
    Wow...
    What year was this interview recorded?
    It's interesting how he brings up 'Tom Girardi', and how nice he is.
    Look at all the scandal he's involved with now.
    It just goes to show that just because you're nice, doesn't mean you're honest and ethical.
    In fact, we should probably be MORE on our guard, the nicer an Opponent, Attorney or FBI Agent is!

  • @jamesfeehan3316
    @jamesfeehan3316 Рік тому

    Tactical empathy? Sociopathic in any other venue than negotiating. Be careful out there.

  • @suedonn7996
    @suedonn7996 Рік тому +4

    Some interesting strategies and for the male gender they would work quite nicely. The make ego is a different animal than the female ego. As a woman, many of those would not work on me. I would be, look, just cut to the chase. Sincerity is important to me. I don't like games. Just saying.

    • @stillwatersfarm8499
      @stillwatersfarm8499 Рік тому +2

      Me too. I lead with “this is the deal, take it or leave it.” It’s no sweat off my back. I actually get *really* annoyed by people who try to negotiate with me in my business. I feel like they are trying to cheat me, and most of the time they are. I do not negotiate with terrorists. 😁 Nothing pisses me off more than sensing someone is trying to manipulate me or manage me. My relationships are based on sincerity and making a strong logical argument. I don’t want to be heard. I want to convince you with a strong defense of my poso, and if I don’t, I want you to convince me with a better argument.

    • @CONEHEADDK
      @CONEHEADDK Рік тому

      it's about you not even realising, that you are in a game.

  • @victormkhize5520
    @victormkhize5520 11 місяців тому

    😊

  • @tonydepalmas
    @tonydepalmas Рік тому

    It's a great podcast and teaches people a great deal. It's just that when women are praised for being better than men at things does not go down well the equality route, and men have lost their voice; if it was the other way round it would have been sexist...feel free to disagree but that's me

  • @myuniverse962
    @myuniverse962 Рік тому

    Please invite BK Shivani

  • @SelfEducationMethodologySEM

    👋👏👏👏👍

  • @chrisklugh
    @chrisklugh 2 місяці тому +1

    I don't agree with Chris's definition of Sympathy and Empathy.
    Empathy is about knowing someone else's experience because they too have been through it too.
    Sympathy is imagining what it might be like to go though an experience, but never been though it themselves.
    I can have sympathy for a mom that went though birth. I can imagine and feel what that might feel like but I can never empathize with her as I have never given birth. Other moms can have empathy cause they know what its like to give birth.

  • @Sanaki_Ahir
    @Sanaki_Ahir 8 місяців тому

    This is the longest interview I had ever watched

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  8 місяців тому

      Thanks for being here!

  • @butn0tyet
    @butn0tyet Рік тому

    where is the link to his class - the internet is riddled with garbage.

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  Рік тому

      Here's the official website of Chris Voss www.blackswanltd.com/

    • @butn0tyet
      @butn0tyet Рік тому

      @@lewishowes Glad I asked :) I used these techniques with wild success.

  • @Josh-pe5pl
    @Josh-pe5pl Рік тому +1

    So insiteful! [Signed, A woman] ❤

  • @AnnaMishel
    @AnnaMishel Рік тому

    Federer can tell you how to win any tennis match. It doesn’t mean you can do it. GET REAL!

  • @moniquedehne9515
    @moniquedehne9515 Рік тому

    So much game playing. Time consuming. I prefer straight forward transparency

  • @skinnycatwithbigears
    @skinnycatwithbigears Рік тому

    Are you actually comparing stroking someone's ego to empathy? I've never been more insulted! I don't stroke egos. I lost at "life" because of it ! but at least I'll die proud ! For me.. the amazing miracle that I am, you need to earn respect!

  • @violetinder673
    @violetinder673 7 місяців тому

    Is Chris Voss married? Cuz he’s hot.

  • @puneetjindal6426
    @puneetjindal6426 Рік тому

    I simply dont talk to u people..chal nikal.