Heard autism and just assumed the kid was invalid. Tells them he doesnt need the extra help, they tell him no he is invapable of knowing himself. Says he wants his PhD and vasically called him stupid. They treated him like he was an idiot and belittled him all the time.
I'd hate to say this is the exception, but I heard all of this from various family and a lot of teachers WITHOUT an official diagnosis(diagnosed late, because apparently, girls don't "get" autism).
@@dihydrogenmonoxide7056 I know it is so infuriating. I used to tutor special need kids for my volunteer credits in HS. And I treated like normal and until we discovered an area they did need extra help. Only then did they get different treatment. This story hurts my heart on so many levels. 💔
My child has Autism/ADHD and I let them decide what they need from me and for their life. They do need accommodations, but they had also come to those conclusions, and we decided on those accommodations together. I always remind them we are a team, and they always get a choice when it comes to their own life. Communication and mutual respect has made our relationship very strong and allows my child to feel they have unconditional love and support but also the autonomy they need.
It sounds like after he was diagnosed, they completely overwrote their son's identity with "disabled". It sounds like they completely ignored his actual abilities and possibly his actual support needs in favor of their own prejudiced ideas about autism. His symptoms clearly weren't heavy on the side of learning difficulties if he got into Oxford and planned on a PhD, they were probably heavier on the social side, which means his parents constantly othering him to other people (treating him as subhuman) and pushing for learning supports he didn't need would have worsened that struggle. It's difficult to learn social skills as an adult. By that point he must have given up.
And you know she went around crying to her friends…saying how hard it was to be a parent of an autistic child and trying to act like some strong, heroic, angel or saint.
The fact she had the nerve to say they did everything they could for him and continue to blame him and refuse to take any kind of accountability is absolutely wild.
Dear lord I don't even know where to begin with this one. Treating your son like he is a sub-human with inferior intellect is NOT "giving him all the help he needs". All he needed was for the parents to treat him like a regular person. And they couldn't even do that. Then they feel the need to try and validate themselves by blaming society and even their own son for having suicidal thoughts. Disgraceful.
I'm so sorry for all the members of this family. I think very few parents intentionally hurt their children. The son got into University. This shows that he was very capable. It's sad that the parents kept putting him down, saying that things would be too hard for him or that he needed help to act like other kids. This shows ableism and intolerance and is very hurtful.
I'm autistic and have dealt with suicidal ideation for my entire life. My mother's (father mostly absent) main lesson was for me to try to behave like a normal person and it would eventually become second nature. But I'm not a normal person: my brain behaves differently to most other people's, and no amount of pretending otherwise will change that. I just had to make peace with my peculiarties and try to make good use of my few strengths. Today I'm a thirty-nine-year-old dude with a full-time job (many autists never have full-time jobs) who works on his passions on his spare time. I'm not happy because I'm clinically depressed, anxious, have health issues, etc., but my point is, fighting to be seen as normal as an autistic person is a folly, and it leads to an extreme amount of self-hate.
Grew up with minimal support. Diagnosed in my teens. Took speech therapy in 1st grade, but then I got made fun of because I lost "the accent." Mother told everyone that all my problems was because "I wanted attention." Complained that I was "peculiar." Same with my dad's mother, which is ironic, considering they hated each other. I am almost 42 and am in my fourth year of my full time job. Funny how my mom calls me now because I am "somebody important." Grandmother told fourteen-year-old me I'd never graduate. I could have graduated when I was twelve.
I think it's weird that they said, "We gave him accommodations he needed", but they didn't. He asked to move to another school and I guarantee it was because he was being relentlessly bullied. Autistic kids are more likely to be bullied and have more of a likelihood to commit suicide or develop mental health problems. Them saying, "We think it's cuz of the world not being accepting of him and him not trying to get help". He did try to get help tho, he asked to move schools. It just wasn't a pill or a shrink, so they discarded it. It also sounds like they knew he was being bullied for his autism and did nothing about it. Also, self isolation doesn't happen in a bubble and its a serious symptom to comes from a traumatic experience.
Thanks for pointing that out. It's really frustrating when people claim to offer support but don't actually follow through. Moving schools could have been a crucial step for him, especially if he was being bullied. It's heartbreaking to see how misunderstood and unsupported autistic kids can be. Self-isolation is a serious issue and definitely stems from trauma. Hope you're doing well, and thanks again for your insight! 😉
I didn't start making real friends until I changed schools in 4th grade. I'd worked so hard to make friends up till that point but there's only so much one can do once everyone is aware something is different about you. It's so sad that poor boy didn't get the opportunity to start over somewhere else. I think it would have done wonders for his self esteem.
It is difficult. One one hand, if not playing autism card, he would never be as... clever and social as others. My mother told me to hide it, and I did struggle badly till 25, always being less than my peers. I still struggle, but not that much. However, killing all possible obstacles and denying a chance to complete challenge will only result in person crumbling apart when the life strikes for the first time.
kid lived a normal life until he was six then his parents only saw the diagnosis they claimed they gave him all the accommodations despite him not wanting them and refused to switch schools as he wanted so he could have a normal school life again these autism warrior parents still can't see it was their actions that lead to their son's death
It’s really sad when parents’ good intentions end up causing more harm. Sometimes, listening to what the kid actually wants and needs can make all the difference. Let’s hope more people understand the importance of this. Take care 🤗
Story 1 the parents bullied their autistic child and are still trying in his death. When all the kids side with the son it is pretty obvious they were in the wrong. I still cant wrap my head around they would not let him go to a different school. And they still do not accept the fact they made his life he!!
...He got into OXFORD...and you still treated him like he needed extra help just to be like the other kids? No wonder he ended himself! He was way better than the other kids and they basically told him every day that he was indeed subhuman! I hope the siblings do go no contact and tell everyone that asks what they did, they are horrible people let alone parents.
I really like this comment the most, he speaks in a way that is easy to understand, easy to make people feel the emotions clearly,... 💛💛 Honestly, I don't understand what the parents in the story really want, I hate it, I hope that boy will have a better life if there is a next life. 😿 T.T
@@RedditFamilyStories They want validation that they were right. Stephan's mom was likely one of those "autism moms." The "woe is me because I have an autistic child" and also "I am such a hero and martyr because my child is autistic" types. I am so glad social media wasn't around when I was growing up. My mother paraded around, even though I wasn't diagnosed with anything, with her tragic story about the suffering mom, because her child was an attention-seeking, peculiar child. The way she told it, I had absolutely no redeeming qualities. I have very few pleasant memories of my mother. Anything that started good was almost immediately polluted whenever she opened her mouth to speak to someone else about me.
I have autism, but I feel bad for your son. If you only treat him normally like he wishes and give into his respective choices it wouldn’t have happened. I just feel so bad for your son.😢
I have autism too and I don't quite agree because we don't know where on the spectrum he was on. Unless he was bullied, had bad teachers, or was refused resources then sure change schools. I think he couldn't get past the stigma/label of having autism and that prevented him from being able to live as his true self. The parents are jus an easy target to blame.
@@CaptainSherbertTheQuestionable what is said in the video he doesn’t even got bullied or anything he doesn’t want to be independent you know like treat others how they want to treat you
@@Aj-mn4pv maybe it is the typos but I am not sure what you are trying to communicate. I don't recall the story specifying if he was bullied or not. For the doesn't want to be independent part did you mean that, does want to be independent, or doesn't want to be dependent? I don't really want to respond if I am not certain what that part meant. I know auto correct can suck at times.
If I had to make a guess, he was bothered by the stigma more than anything. I also believe that the parents likely devalued or didn't allow him to make decisions for himself growing up because both of those happened to me which would explain the resentment moreso than just refusing to switch schools. A lack of freedom can be very hard but depending on how far on the spectrum he was might've made that nessecary. I think it is a bad situation with the parents handling it the way they know how and honestly if there wasn't a problem with the school like bullying, bad teachers, or the special needs resources not being provided then I don't have an issue with the parents not moving him. Overall I think it is a bad situation that makes it easy to point fingers but at face value with the story, I don't think the parents are at fault. I have struggled immensly with my own identity and how to socially fit and I assure you that it has been hard but I am still here fighting that fight. It is my opinion that based on the information provided he couldn't get past the stigma of having autism for whatever reasons it was and as a result, he was never able to live as his true self. The parents are an easy target to blame for that but the reality is that it is a personal journey and if he didn't want to embrace a key part of himself then that journey couldn't reach where it needed to go.
Thanks for sharing your perspective! It's definitely a complex situation and everyone's journey is unique. The stigma can be really tough, and finding a balance between support and freedom is challenging. Appreciate your insight and hope you're doing well on your journey. Take care! 🤩
I’m only 4 minutes in and just wanna say…Some people will do anything and blame anyone and everyone to keep from having to take accountability. Edit: 7:30 in and she did everything EXCEPT what he wanted and was crying out for. Also…her blaming them for him taking his own life doesn’t make sense?!? Are you kidding me?! Ugh!! This whole story has my blood boiling!
OMG, TYSM for being real about how you feel! 😤💯 I can tell this story really got to you, and it's definitely one of those that hits hard. Appreciate you sharing your thoughts and being so open. Sending you good vibes and hope the rest of your day is chill! 🙌✨
@@RedditFamilyStories It really does. It also hits a bit close to home. Only…the person was a 10 year old girl and she didn’t take her own life. Her father did.
I don’t know about you, but if someone wants to be treated as a normal person, then treat them like a normal person. I’m a person with ASD, and prefer not to be treated as one. I would feel incredibly disrespected if people defined me solely by my place on the spectrum.
It depends on how a person treats a person with ASD. I don't know what "normal" is, but I want to be treated with respect and dignity. I do NOT want to infantilized or worshipped, sainted or vilified. I am a human being with boundaries and dreams. I neither want to brag or hide that I am autistic. Also, I never want to be referred to as a "VEEERY Special friend" ever again.
As an autistic person, I’ve found out that whenever anyone finds out that I’m autistic, whether I confide in them myself or not, I’m not looked at seriously whenever I try to engage and act like all the other normal adults around me. I relate to Steven quite a bit since I’ve had and sometimes still have thoughts of self-deleting. It’s great that I’m still here and I’m living on my own while making a living for myself, but the struggles of autism never go away no matter how much I mature. Shame on this family for not taking him seriously and not supporting him when he needed them the most.
Autism..... there are many degrees of autism. But you never said how autistic he was. Maybe he was high function which is close to normal. But you treated him as if he was broken. He wanted to live a normal life but oh no in your delusion of helping you hold him back. Yes you never listen and now he gone.
I get where you're coming from. Autism does have a wide spectrum and every individual's experience is unique. Maybe I could've communicated better about his specific situation. It's a tough balance between offering support and letting someone live their life freely. I'll definitely keep this in mind moving forward. Appreciate your insight and take care! 🥰🥰
Now look, while I do feel sorry for the son, the OP and her husband need to take some responsibility for their irresponsibility. Stephen wanted to be treated normal but the way how they did it was all wrong. I hope parents who read the OP's story learn something from this.
Yet if they had not, everyone would be saying 'It's the parents fault for not getting him the help he clearly needed.' Damned if you do and damned if you don't.
@@lexiburrows8127 If your child says no to help then maybe, just maybe, you should listen to them! This isn’t a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation, it’s a bad parenting situation.
Too bloody right it was theor fault They failed him they treating him as sub human but god damn he wanted to try and be normal but they doubled down and treated him ljke a snowflake
Another point about the ableist parents in story 1 : note how they keep saying "he has autism" as opposed to the more respectful "he is autistic"? They dehumanized Stephen all his life and beyond and wonder why they lost 2 kids, almost the 3rd too
Good point! Language matters a lot, and the way they referred to Stephen shows a lack of respect. It's heartbreaking to see how their attitudes contributed to losing their kids. Thanks for highlighting this. Stay insightful and respect!!!! 🥳
@@arandombot792 I guess no one told them autism is a spectrum disorder, or they just didn't care and went with some stereotype about everyone with autism needing smothering amounts of help. Which just isn't true.
Sounds like an "autism mom" to me. One of those moms that makes having an autistic child their identity to establish a victimhood and/or sainthood status. It's times like these that I am so glad I received a late diagnosis AND social media wasn't a thing back then. My mom would have definitely been one of those moms.
Controversial opinion here, but plenty of autistic kids getting support at school make friends. Plenty of undiagnosed kids are very clearly neuro divergent and get ostracized because they are "weird." Simply being labeled as autistic isn't the actual issue, and switching schools and pretending to be normal *may* have worked out well, but was more likely going to lead to disappointment for the kid, that he very clearly didn't have the skills to cope with. I also don't think the parents were wrong in insisting that their son have *access* to accommodations (that can be damn near impossible to get back once you decide to opt out, depending on school district.) It does sound like he was being bullied or something, and the parents messed up by focusing only on his autism, instead of his clear emotional distress and lack of regulation. He needed different kinds of help and support, and it's sad that the parents can't see it. So the parents sucked, but I don't think they sucked for the reasons most people are latching on to, imo.
I agree with you. These parents would be blamed if they did not try to get their child accomodations. Blamed if they did and blamed if they didn’t. Saying that we were in a similar situation and our child changed school 3 times. It made no difference to the schooling but I’m grateful they’re still alive. Each Autistic child is different and needs to be treated differently.
@@kerisaltchannel3817So sorry to hear that. People can be terrible to people who are different but hopefully you will find people who accept you as you are
I agree with you. These parents would be blamed if they did not try to get their child accomodations. Blamed if they did and blamed if they didn’t. Saying that we were in a similar situation and our child changed school 3 times. It made no difference to the schooling but I’m grateful they’re still alive. Each Autistic child is different and needs to be treated differently.
@@kerisaltchannel3817 I'm so sorry you're being mistreated, and I hope you are able to surround yourself with people who care for and respect you soon! My point in my response was more that it doesn't matter if you're labeled or not, as you're you no matter where you are. Sometimes the issue is the people around you, sometimes the issue is your interpersonal/emotional regulation skills, but most often it's a mix of both-which is why changing one without addressing the other isn't going to be successful. This is where it helps to have an outside party to talk to, as a skilled therapist can help you to figure out what internal and external factors might be at play, and help you navigate ways to improve your unique circumstances.
Thanks a lot for noticing! I try to keep things real and honest on my channel. I believe it's important to talk about tough topics openly and genuinely. Your support means a lot! I hope you're enjoying the stories and finding them engaging. If there's anything specific you'd like to see or talk about, just let me know. Take care and stay awesome! 🙈
Heard autism and just assumed the kid was invalid. Tells them he doesnt need the extra help, they tell him no he is invapable of knowing himself. Says he wants his PhD and vasically called him stupid. They treated him like he was an idiot and belittled him all the time.
I'd hate to say this is the exception, but I heard all of this from various family and a lot of teachers WITHOUT an official diagnosis(diagnosed late, because apparently, girls don't "get" autism).
@@dihydrogenmonoxide7056 I know it is so infuriating. I used to tutor special need kids for my volunteer credits in HS. And I treated like normal and until we discovered an area they did need extra help. Only then did they get different treatment. This story hurts my heart on so many levels. 💔
My child has Autism/ADHD and I let them decide what they need from me and for their life. They do need accommodations, but they had also come to those conclusions, and we decided on those accommodations together. I always remind them we are a team, and they always get a choice when it comes to their own life. Communication and mutual respect has made our relationship very strong and allows my child to feel they have unconditional love and support but also the autonomy they need.
It sounds like after he was diagnosed, they completely overwrote their son's identity with "disabled". It sounds like they completely ignored his actual abilities and possibly his actual support needs in favor of their own prejudiced ideas about autism. His symptoms clearly weren't heavy on the side of learning difficulties if he got into Oxford and planned on a PhD, they were probably heavier on the social side, which means his parents constantly othering him to other people (treating him as subhuman) and pushing for learning supports he didn't need would have worsened that struggle. It's difficult to learn social skills as an adult. By that point he must have given up.
And you know she went around crying to her friends…saying how hard it was to be a parent of an autistic child and trying to act like some strong, heroic, angel or saint.
He told them his dreams and goals and they told him he wasn't smart enough for it. Special place in hell for these parents.
TOTALLY agree with ya 😭😭
The fact she had the nerve to say they did everything they could for him and continue to blame him and refuse to take any kind of accountability is absolutely wild.
I agree with you
My God these are horrible parents. And they're oblivious to that.
Dear lord I don't even know where to begin with this one. Treating your son like he is a sub-human with inferior intellect is NOT "giving him all the help he needs". All he needed was for the parents to treat him like a regular person. And they couldn't even do that. Then they feel the need to try and validate themselves by blaming society and even their own son for having suicidal thoughts.
Disgraceful.
I'm so sorry for all the members of this family. I think very few parents intentionally hurt their children. The son got into University. This shows that he was very capable. It's sad that the parents kept putting him down, saying that things would be too hard for him or that he needed help to act like other kids. This shows ableism and intolerance and is very hurtful.
There such a huge hole in this story because OP is making it seem like he just logged out of life because he didn’t change schools
I'm autistic and have dealt with suicidal ideation for my entire life. My mother's (father mostly absent) main lesson was for me to try to behave like a normal person and it would eventually become second nature. But I'm not a normal person: my brain behaves differently to most other people's, and no amount of pretending otherwise will change that. I just had to make peace with my peculiarties and try to make good use of my few strengths. Today I'm a thirty-nine-year-old dude with a full-time job (many autists never have full-time jobs) who works on his passions on his spare time. I'm not happy because I'm clinically depressed, anxious, have health issues, etc., but my point is, fighting to be seen as normal as an autistic person is a folly, and it leads to an extreme amount of self-hate.
Grew up with minimal support. Diagnosed in my teens. Took speech therapy in 1st grade, but then I got made fun of because I lost "the accent." Mother told everyone that all my problems was because "I wanted attention." Complained that I was "peculiar." Same with my dad's mother, which is ironic, considering they hated each other. I am almost 42 and am in my fourth year of my full time job. Funny how my mom calls me now because I am "somebody important."
Grandmother told fourteen-year-old me I'd never graduate. I could have graduated when I was twelve.
I think it's weird that they said, "We gave him accommodations he needed", but they didn't.
He asked to move to another school and I guarantee it was because he was being relentlessly bullied. Autistic kids are more likely to be bullied and have more of a likelihood to commit suicide or develop mental health problems.
Them saying, "We think it's cuz of the world not being accepting of him and him not trying to get help". He did try to get help tho, he asked to move schools. It just wasn't a pill or a shrink, so they discarded it. It also sounds like they knew he was being bullied for his autism and did nothing about it. Also, self isolation doesn't happen in a bubble and its a serious symptom to comes from a traumatic experience.
Thanks for pointing that out. It's really frustrating when people claim to offer support but don't actually follow through. Moving schools could have been a crucial step for him, especially if he was being bullied. It's heartbreaking to see how misunderstood and unsupported autistic kids can be. Self-isolation is a serious issue and definitely stems from trauma. Hope you're doing well, and thanks again for your insight! 😉
I didn't start making real friends until I changed schools in 4th grade. I'd worked so hard to make friends up till that point but there's only so much one can do once everyone is aware something is different about you. It's so sad that poor boy didn't get the opportunity to start over somewhere else. I think it would have done wonders for his self esteem.
@@Takisan111Sadly…with parents like that…the poor kid never had a chance.
It is difficult. One one hand, if not playing autism card, he would never be as... clever and social as others. My mother told me to hide it, and I did struggle badly till 25, always being less than my peers. I still struggle, but not that much. However, killing all possible obstacles and denying a chance to complete challenge will only result in person crumbling apart when the life strikes for the first time.
kid lived a normal life until he was six then his parents only saw the diagnosis they claimed they gave him all the accommodations despite him not wanting them and refused to switch schools as he wanted so he could have a normal school life again these autism warrior parents still can't see it was their actions that lead to their son's death
It’s really sad when parents’ good intentions end up causing more harm. Sometimes, listening to what the kid actually wants and needs can make all the difference.
Let’s hope more people understand the importance of this. Take care 🤗
Story 1 the parents bullied their autistic child and are still trying in his death. When all the kids side with the son it is pretty obvious they were in the wrong. I still cant wrap my head around they would not let him go to a different school. And they still do not accept the fact they made his life he!!
...He got into OXFORD...and you still treated him like he needed extra help just to be like the other kids? No wonder he ended himself! He was way better than the other kids and they basically told him every day that he was indeed subhuman! I hope the siblings do go no contact and tell everyone that asks what they did, they are horrible people let alone parents.
I really like this comment the most, he speaks in a way that is easy to understand, easy to make people feel the emotions clearly,... 💛💛
Honestly, I don't understand what the parents in the story really want, I hate it, I hope that boy will have a better life if there is a next life. 😿 T.T
@@RedditFamilyStories They want validation that they were right. Stephan's mom was likely one of those "autism moms." The "woe is me because I have an autistic child" and also "I am such a hero and martyr because my child is autistic" types. I am so glad social media wasn't around when I was growing up. My mother paraded around, even though I wasn't diagnosed with anything, with her tragic story about the suffering mom, because her child was an attention-seeking, peculiar child. The way she told it, I had absolutely no redeeming qualities.
I have very few pleasant memories of my mother. Anything that started good was almost immediately polluted whenever she opened her mouth to speak to someone else about me.
Some people just should never be parents....
YESSSS, especially heartless people... :
I have autism, but I feel bad for your son. If you only treat him normally like he wishes and give into his respective choices it wouldn’t have happened. I just feel so bad for your son.😢
I REALLY got ya, feel the same 😭😭
I have autism too and I don't quite agree because we don't know where on the spectrum he was on. Unless he was bullied, had bad teachers, or was refused resources then sure change schools. I think he couldn't get past the stigma/label of having autism and that prevented him from being able to live as his true self. The parents are jus an easy target to blame.
@@CaptainSherbertTheQuestionable what is said in the video he doesn’t even got bullied or anything he doesn’t want to be independent you know like treat others how they want to treat you
@@Aj-mn4pv maybe it is the typos but I am not sure what you are trying to communicate. I don't recall the story specifying if he was bullied or not. For the doesn't want to be independent part did you mean that, does want to be independent, or doesn't want to be dependent? I don't really want to respond if I am not certain what that part meant. I know auto correct can suck at times.
@@CaptainSherbertTheQuestionable well overall his parents should’ve listen to him and just do this one favor to leave him be
If I had to make a guess, he was bothered by the stigma more than anything. I also believe that the parents likely devalued or didn't allow him to make decisions for himself growing up because both of those happened to me which would explain the resentment moreso than just refusing to switch schools. A lack of freedom can be very hard but depending on how far on the spectrum he was might've made that nessecary. I think it is a bad situation with the parents handling it the way they know how and honestly if there wasn't a problem with the school like bullying, bad teachers, or the special needs resources not being provided then I don't have an issue with the parents not moving him. Overall I think it is a bad situation that makes it easy to point fingers but at face value with the story, I don't think the parents are at fault. I have struggled immensly with my own identity and how to socially fit and I assure you that it has been hard but I am still here fighting that fight. It is my opinion that based on the information provided he couldn't get past the stigma of having autism for whatever reasons it was and as a result, he was never able to live as his true self. The parents are an easy target to blame for that but the reality is that it is a personal journey and if he didn't want to embrace a key part of himself then that journey couldn't reach where it needed to go.
Thanks for sharing your perspective! It's definitely a complex situation and everyone's journey is unique. The stigma can be really tough, and finding a balance between support and freedom is challenging. Appreciate your insight and hope you're doing well on your journey. Take care! 🤩
He got in to Oxford and you don't think he is smart enough
They so weird, right... ???! 😤
I’m only 4 minutes in and just wanna say…Some people will do anything and blame anyone and everyone to keep from having to take accountability.
Edit: 7:30 in and she did everything EXCEPT what he wanted and was crying out for. Also…her blaming them for him taking his own life doesn’t make sense?!? Are you kidding me?! Ugh!! This whole story has my blood boiling!
OMG, TYSM for being real about how you feel! 😤💯 I can tell this story really got to you, and it's definitely one of those that hits hard.
Appreciate you sharing your thoughts and being so open. Sending you good vibes and hope the rest of your day is chill! 🙌✨
@@RedditFamilyStories It really does. It also hits a bit close to home. Only…the person was a 10 year old girl and she didn’t take her own life. Her father did.
I don’t know about you, but if someone wants to be treated as a normal person, then treat them like a normal person. I’m a person with ASD, and prefer not to be treated as one. I would feel incredibly disrespected if people defined me solely by my place on the spectrum.
It depends on how a person treats a person with ASD. I don't know what "normal" is, but I want to be treated with respect and dignity. I do NOT want to infantilized or worshipped, sainted or vilified. I am a human being with boundaries and dreams. I neither want to brag or hide that I am autistic.
Also, I never want to be referred to as a "VEEERY Special friend" ever again.
As an autistic person, I’ve found out that whenever anyone finds out that I’m autistic, whether I confide in them myself or not, I’m not looked at seriously whenever I try to engage and act like all the other normal adults around me. I relate to Steven quite a bit since I’ve had and sometimes still have thoughts of self-deleting. It’s great that I’m still here and I’m living on my own while making a living for myself, but the struggles of autism never go away no matter how much I mature. Shame on this family for not taking him seriously and not supporting him when he needed them the most.
Have a good day!!
Autism..... there are many degrees of autism. But you never said how autistic he was. Maybe he was high function which is close to normal. But you treated him as if he was broken. He wanted to live a normal life but oh no in your delusion of helping you hold him back.
Yes you never listen and now he gone.
I get where you're coming from. Autism does have a wide spectrum and every individual's experience is unique. Maybe I could've communicated better about his specific situation. It's a tough balance between offering support and letting someone live their life freely. I'll definitely keep this in mind moving forward. Appreciate your insight and take care! 🥰🥰
he wanted to restart at a new school, you refused that because he wouldn't accept help at the present......
That was so bad.... right ??! 😕
Now look, while I do feel sorry for the son, the OP and her husband need to take some responsibility for their irresponsibility. Stephen wanted to be treated normal but the way how they did it was all wrong. I hope parents who read the OP's story learn something from this.
Yet if they had not, everyone would be saying 'It's the parents fault for not getting him the help he clearly needed.' Damned if you do and damned if you don't.
@@lexiburrows8127 If your child says no to help then maybe, just maybe, you should listen to them! This isn’t a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation, it’s a bad parenting situation.
Too bloody right it was theor fault
They failed him they treating him as sub human but god damn he wanted to try and be normal but they doubled down and treated him ljke a snowflake
Another point about the ableist parents in story 1 : note how they keep saying "he has autism" as opposed to the more respectful "he is autistic"? They dehumanized Stephen all his life and beyond and wonder why they lost 2 kids, almost the 3rd too
Good point! Language matters a lot, and the way they referred to Stephen shows a lack of respect. It's heartbreaking to see how their attitudes contributed to losing their kids. Thanks for highlighting this. Stay insightful and respect!!!! 🥳
plus they said he can't do anything without help
AND HE GOT INTO OXFORD
how delusional can these people be?
@@arandombot792 I guess no one told them autism is a spectrum disorder, or they just didn't care and went with some stereotype about everyone with autism needing smothering amounts of help. Which just isn't true.
I agree with the last comment at the end.
I seriously hope this is a rage bait post. Not that it being a rage bait makes it any better.
Sounds like an "autism mom" to me. One of those moms that makes having an autistic child their identity to establish a victimhood and/or sainthood status. It's times like these that I am so glad I received a late diagnosis AND social media wasn't a thing back then. My mom would have definitely been one of those moms.
@@dihydrogenmonoxide7056 aaah that makes more sense. thank you
Controversial opinion here, but plenty of autistic kids getting support at school make friends. Plenty of undiagnosed kids are very clearly neuro divergent and get ostracized because they are "weird." Simply being labeled as autistic isn't the actual issue, and switching schools and pretending to be normal *may* have worked out well, but was more likely going to lead to disappointment for the kid, that he very clearly didn't have the skills to cope with. I also don't think the parents were wrong in insisting that their son have *access* to accommodations (that can be damn near impossible to get back once you decide to opt out, depending on school district.) It does sound like he was being bullied or something, and the parents messed up by focusing only on his autism, instead of his clear emotional distress and lack of regulation. He needed different kinds of help and support, and it's sad that the parents can't see it. So the parents sucked, but I don't think they sucked for the reasons most people are latching on to, imo.
I get help but people still treat me like total trash.
I agree with you. These parents would be blamed if they did not try to get their child accomodations. Blamed if they did and blamed if they didn’t. Saying that we were in a similar situation and our child changed school 3 times. It made no difference to the schooling but I’m grateful they’re still alive. Each Autistic child is different and needs to be treated differently.
@@kerisaltchannel3817So sorry to hear that. People can be terrible to people who are different but hopefully you will find people who accept you as you are
I agree with you. These parents would be blamed if they did not try to get their child accomodations. Blamed if they did and blamed if they didn’t. Saying that we were in a similar situation and our child changed school 3 times. It made no difference to the schooling but I’m grateful they’re still alive. Each Autistic child is different and needs to be treated differently.
@@kerisaltchannel3817 I'm so sorry you're being mistreated, and I hope you are able to surround yourself with people who care for and respect you soon! My point in my response was more that it doesn't matter if you're labeled or not, as you're you no matter where you are. Sometimes the issue is the people around you, sometimes the issue is your interpersonal/emotional regulation skills, but most often it's a mix of both-which is why changing one without addressing the other isn't going to be successful. This is where it helps to have an outside party to talk to, as a skilled therapist can help you to figure out what internal and external factors might be at play, and help you navigate ways to improve your unique circumstances.
wow you actually didn't censor suicide or use the stupid tiktok versions.
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Yta for not putting him into adoption.