Congratulations and thank you for sharing. I'm 49 without partner and affraid that It is to late for me. It's nice to know that the dream might be still alive. God bless you.
why are people surprised my generation isn't having many kids? the jobs we have pay fuckall, the threat of being unemployed is omnipresent, we can't afford to buy a house, the rent is ridiculously high, buying groceries sometimes bankrupts us, we have no time for family or friends, we live to work only and relationships are more and more existing mostly digitally. with all that and many other such cases how can i physically, mentally or financially take care of a child?
@@TinyRanter yeah my sister had a kid (not planned) and it was amazing seeing her helpful boyfriend that i thought would be such a great proactive dad turn into a father that needs her to say exactly what he has to do otherwise he "won't know" what he needs to do to his own son or the house (the poor fellow!) now my sister has no time for anything and figured out a divorce is better than to live like this, but all the money goes towards the rent bc no one our age actually owns a house and she can't move out. it's like my generation taught the girls we can be anything and to be free but still taught the boys they need a wife to do things for them. i only date men my age and every boyfriend i've had is extremely childish (i'm 28 now), makes me think if i need to wait till im 40 or something so the men are actually grown enough to have an equal relationship, bc they can't fathom this concept now.
Women are choosing to start families later (or not have a family at all) for many, many reasons: 1. It takes much longer to find a good supportive partner 2. It takes longer to establish a career 3. Cost of living / affordability 4. Lack of post-partum care for women 5. Cost of childcare or lack of support for families. 6. General state of the planet and environment.
The first reason is bullshit, there are plenty of good caring men out there that would love to start a family with a good partner,, with good incomes, but women believe they need to have a 10/10 in every aspect or they aren’t worth even considering as a life partner. Tired of hearing this excuse.
@@Agtsmirnoff she is right. Finding a good male partner is incredibly hard today. Many of them are game players, narcissists, violent controlling men. So it takes a long time, and it's tiring.
@@Aquagirl-in6wr What do you mean "good" male partner? Let's be honest, you'll list off a bunch of intangible crap but really you mean is: "Finding a good male partner that also has super model looks is incredibly hard today" Otherwise what you are saying is BS.
I'm 37 and 17 weeks pregnant with our first baby. I've never felt more prepared than now. We've been married for 3.5 years, have enough income, savings/investments, a home to give her space to grow, and most of all a stable two parent household. We're blessed and grateful!
That’s not being prepared to raising a child, having a child is simpler than raising a child having one is the easy part. You can’t prepare for raising a child. You can read and talk about it all you want, you’ll see and your partner is going to be apart of this too.
You did the right thing. It's far healthier for children to grow up in secure environments. That means emotional and environmental stability (directly affected by your financial stability- consistent housing, food security, predictable routines, etc). You are providing your child with a strong foundation. Good job
I just had my first baby at 43. My daughter is almost 4 now and I'm 47, and I couldn't be happier. I'm glad she knows the mature version of me who has broken toxic patterns learned from a toxic upbringing.
I wish more people could be like this. You are making the world a better place by choosing to put off having kids until your mental health got better. I’m in therapy now and am almost 27. I don’t know if I want kids or not but if I have kids, I am following your lead.
wow lol are you me but older?? my fiance and i are doing the same thing with the toxic past. we both grew up in domestic violence etc. it was my daughter who unintentionally taught me how bad my childhood was and how the F my mother could allow such cruelty to happen. my father NEEDED mental health help but with his upbringing... never going to happen. our child is 4 and we are already miles better than our parents at being parents. so i can totally relate to you.
it is very selfish. I was a kid of an older parent, and he died when I was at school, and I had to put up with a series of bad boyfriends my mother had. Parents only think of themselves not their kid.
@@beaulieuc8910people make choices considering circumstances. Your father could still have died when he was young. Maybe you would have both young toxic parents. You can only prepare for life and hope choices you make is right. Even in older gen people used to have kids in their 40s. My great grandmother and great great grandmother all had kids in their 40s too. Some of them lived to see their marriages, some died soon. Perhaps if your mother died while giving birth, would you have blamed her ? Would you have been happy with abusive toxic 2 parents? It's your mom's mistake for bringing bad bfs not your father's for having child at an older age.
I'm 36 with a paid off house, travelled extensively, built a nice career, dealt with all my traumas and emotional issues, married the perfect guy, and about to have my first baby in about 3 weeks. There's no other time in my life I would have wanted children but now. I'm ready to meet my son and I'm very happy with the person he's going to meet.
That’s wonderful. Also, you’ll probably find many generational/internalized emotional pains you didn’t know existed in his first week of life. I’m in the camp that firmly believes we can never truly be ready to go from non-parent to parent, but I applaud your genuine effort and dedication; you’ll need it 🙌. Loved and struggled through 22 years of parenting over here. It was hard and beautiful
I married in my early 40’s. I just never met the suitable life partner until that time. I will be 50 next year. We are still hoping for our miracle. I’m not giving up and I am encouraged by the comments below ❤God bless you all
I think I've reached my menopause, I'm turning 53 this September but desperately pray to be blessed with a miracle. Is that possible having no periods since November 2023!?
That comment section makes me smile from ear to ear. I am 37 and with God’s Grace, I will have my family too. Thank you for sharing your life stories. Very uplifting 😊
I was just scrolling for this comment. The change in dating culture must have some correlation with the change in birth rates. I know many women who would love to have children, but they have found it impossible to meet a solid partner who also wants the same thing.
Also, I think our standards are higher for men and ourselves. We have more knowledge about mental health and emotional intelligence, how parents' behaviours can affect children. I certainly don't want to pass on the toxic tendancy I inherited from my parents, before most of it is healed.
Also there is no village anymore, you have to solely rely on yourself and your partner and you usually both have to work. Even if the kids are of great health that's challenging, let alone if they have special needs. That seems quite a risk so maybe society should address that instead of shame and push people into bringing children into financially, socially and emotionally deprived circumstances
Thank you! I'm so stressed about it and scared we might need expensive procedures. At 32, I didn't thought I'd be 'too old'. It took me too long to find a good husband and turn my back on the feminist lies everyone told me. Hopefully we're going to be having our own baby this or next year. 😢
That’s the kindest comment so far. Most comments have been about how they have become mothers at such and such age forgetting that there are many who are childless not by choice and struggling and grieving. Even the ladies in this podcast enthuse about the wonderful feelings of being a mother without a thought to those who are unable to have children.
i’m 38 i had 2 miscarriage recently…. please send me prayers all i have ever wanted was to have beautiful healthy babies… and give my unconditional love and support
My friend tried and tried to have her first child in her late thirties with miscarriage after another. She quit her stressful toxic job, pursued her passion and without trying they fell pregnant at 45! She is very fit and a excellent mother
Good for her!!! ANY woman who has fertility problems needs to take time off work for her body to reset. I've heard story after story of this. Hillary Clinton didn't conceive until she was on vacation. Not everyone's body handles stress the same. :/
@@krishnagondhea7428 True. But in America anyway, where there's a will, there's a way! If I wanted to have kids bad enough, I'd move my family to a lower cost of living area to cut back on stress and expenses. There's a lot of families that can only afford to live in the boonies. 🤷♀
I'm 3 mos. pregnant now with baby no.3 and I'll be 47 yrs old by the time the baby is born. Conceived naturally. Had our 1st child at 27, our 2nd at 35 and now baby no. 3 at 47. Praise God.
You had children the same age as me. So I'm guessing about 16 and 9. I got pregnant 4 times in 2 yrs. And I got rid of them all. I was the mini pill, the other pill I wasn't able to take becuae I had migraine. Not the fan of implants. Tried the injection had me all emotional amd psyco. I don't regret a thing
Yeah especially since most women have partners older than themselves it is not only a fertility issue of women but also men. Less healthy sperm is just not strong enough to reach the egg or is so deformed that the female body just rejects it, so miscarriages may not only be caused by the age of the woman’s body but also the age of the sperm producer, especially if both factors are combined.
I’m in love with this comment section as a pressurized 24 year old ❤ happy to see women able to make the right choice for their families and themselves
@@gailainsley6939 Don't misguide her jeez... It is absolutely right time for her. There is no point of waiting until 27/28. It will only get harder for her to find a husband and to give birth for biological reasons.
@@bugra320 You are the one misguiding her. Most of the early relationships DO NOT last and the earlier a woman has them, the less likely she is to escape poverty. Have you seen the projects? Or council estates? Or ghettos? Yes. They do not move up. Why do you want her to have a hard life when she can avoid it?
@@gailainsley6939 The early relationships that you mentioned is not a relationship. It's only the modern women chasing the top 10% of men and they are being pumped and dumped. But non delusional women can easily find herself a suitable long lasting relationship. Men value purity and youth.
My granny was a trailblazer. She was 48 when she became pregnant with my aunt. She had her at 49, and this was in 1961 !😊My father, the oldest, was already married, and quite embarrassed to see her in such state of grace. My parents were engaged and I was born one year after!
Women in that time did use to have children late, it's just that their first birth was earlier, but their last birth was late too (my grandma on my dad's side had 12 children, they needed kids to work the farm and also they were religious and there was no protection during sex).
I’m 53 and have a 10 year old.. I’m much more patient and relaxed as an older mother than I would have been had I had him earlier in my life.. and he keeps me young and busy.. no regrets
glad to hear this...im 41 and I feel a lot of fear and pressure around this topic...people telling me i need to hurry etcetc.... its very empowering and hopeful to read this :) thanks for sharing.
From Biology point of view, kids are likely to have health effects in the older or younger years due to quality of eggs similary to men due to lower quality of sperm
He’s a freshman in college, and I’m guessing you’ll soon be retired? I wish you all the best, sincerely, but it’s also very likely that your son will have to help take care of his elderly mom / parents when he’s barely in his 30s, and he’ll possibly lose you at a rather young age … maybe before he himself gets married or has kids. I feel that older parents often don’t seem to consider those things. As someone who lost both of my parents before I was 35, let me tell you that it made me very lonely in this world to know I’ll live most of my lifetime without them.
@@mistym0rningwait, my grandmom had my mum in hear early 20s. When my mum was in her early 60s she had to care for my grandmom (who was in her 80s). She wanted to enjoy her retirement and couldn't so, what's your point? People get sick. Whether chronic or acute, it is inevitable.
@@mistym0rningsuch a negative outlook. I’ve had friends who lost parents who were only 28 at the time of death. The reality is ppl who take care of themselves can live to well over 100.
I was 35 with my last, it was easy enough to conceive then, l was referred to as geriatric mother, l certainly found it harder being awake every two hours to feed and breast fed all four kids. I however at 45 now tip my hat to anyone over 40 happy to go through the night feeds and toddler phase 😂. Tough cookies.
I became a first time mom at 48. I waited because my situation wasn’t ideal and I kept waiting for the ideal situation. When I finally thought being a mom was ideal I was nearly 47. So my new husband and I went for it.. I have a beautiful daughter and no regrets. My baby is perfectly healthy and happy. I’m happy being a stay at home mom. I don’t have carrier ambitions because I’ve been there and fed up with it. Kids are very expensive… any good stroller costs over $1000, cribs over $500, car seats over $400 and the list goes on and on. No wonder new generations can’t or want kids!
I'm so glad I'm in good company! First child at 41 and last at 46. Natural and IVF. My husband and I has been there, done that. We're debt-fee, own two mortgage-free homes, vehicles paid off, college loans paid off and we are both engineers. We got the hard part out of the way first now are just enjoying our little ones. Our children are in no way a burden, they are blessings. No regrets waiting to start a family in our 40s.
This kind of sounds arrogant. I passed it by my partner to see if I was overreacting and they said, “they kind of sound full of themselves.” Firstly, I have friends who are Engineers in the Bay Area and they have very good positions, they could not even pay off their 2.7 million dollar home, they had a plan to sell in the future and retire in a different state. My husband made 600k and I was a stay at home mother, we couldn’t even pay off our mortgage. Now that we’ve sold our home, this is more possible, but we don’t run around telling people we have this and this paid off, especially with how many people are struggling these days. Good for you, but most of the world does not have a paid off mortgage at 40.. even hard working people who make money, unless the homes are very very inexpensive. “We got mortgage, college loans, two mortgage free homes paid off, cars paid off, look how amazing we are!” That’s what it sounds like. If anything, explaining to people that maybe you made money on a sale of a home and decided to purchase something else cheaper with cash, and that it took years to save, etc. you just go, look at how great we are, basically.
Op can't explain all that in this comment section. 🙄 Why are you so bitter? I'm broke, and not debt free but I saw her post as inspiring, maybe it's just your own POV .@@Shayne_T
@@Shayne_T I am sorry you think my post is arrogant. However, my point is that as a woman we are brainwashed to believe we have to get married and have kids as soon as we can to be validated. Nope, we don't. We can wait to get a higher education, build a career, especially in a male dominant field to get higher pay, pay off debt, and maybe marry. I was 32 when I married. By then I was a third time homeowner before marriage. Listen, I was raised by a single immigrant mother who worked two jobs to compensate for the absence of one parent. Somehow she managed to send her two daughters to college. My mother's hard work has inspired me to make good choices, including holding off having children until I was in a financial comfort zone. This is a choice most women don't think to do. It seems like everyone is struggling because mainstream media says so. That's not true. I'm not. And I hope a young woman reading this will see that she has a choice in becoming a mother when the time is right for her and not what society dictates.
True, Mothers of that generation had kids at that age, no one complained. Good luck with your pregnancy, you are lucky you will get all help from young and strong grandmothers, ;). 😸
@saide-z2g All we do is be the best we can be for whatever time we have with our kids. Enioy every moment, make memories that will last a lifetime. I started a scrapbook that I want to give my daughter when she is 21. If I'm not here then, she will at least have photos & written memories from me. Noted in the book is things we've done already to be self-sufficient (little lessons) 💞
I know. Everyone seems to overlook this *essential* factor. Isn't it obvious? I would have already had children years ago if I'd been lucky enough to meet a suitable guy. I've only ever attracted flighty, immature, unavailable and lascivious men (the complete opposite of what I am). I'm slim (not curvy) and I dress conservatively, so I don't know why this happens. Where are all the mature (not old), committed men who have worked on themselves and who are interested in creating a family? Do they exist anymore?
@@ciarakristos111Unfortunately i had the same luck as you.I have one daughter,i gave birth when i was 30,now i am 34 .My partner was really immature, alcoholic, narcissistic and insulted me that i got weight and also he had mental problems.I broke up of course!You can't find these days a good man, because porn, social media have ruined them .
@@ciarakristos111 They do! Unfortunately, many of them choose not to be on social media. Maybe you find them (like myself, second husband) by chance, on a dating platform. 😉
My grandmom had her first baby before the age of 20 and her 11th baby when she was 50 and her eldest daughter had a kid by then. She thought it was menopause. She is 97 now, all her children are healthy and so is she with 25 healthy great grandchildren by God’s grace. No IVFs, no career pressure and no financial instability.
Are you malayalee? Same with one of my grandmas. Had her first (oldest aunt) at 23 and youngest (youngest aunt) at 40. Also lived through her 90s. And it's funny to hear people in the culture say it's too late to have kids past your 30s, when it was common back then!
I am 52 years old. I gave birth my first kid when I was 39 years old, because I was 2 years struggling to become a mother. Actually I lost my first pregnancy . My second daughter was born when I was 42 years old. I was born when my mother was 45 years old. !! She died when I was waiting my daughter, I was 42 years old. My mother got married when she was 43 years old. She worked as a lawyer. So I learnt her experience. I met my husband when I was 35 years old. Sometimes we can´t decide in advanced what matters are going to happen in life. I live in Argentina where the economy and life is hard, but here I am . My husband and I wanted to have 2 children, we love our kids although the difficulties. We went through difficult times but it is worth to be alive and sharing our lives together.
Yes! I noticed that sometimes people who have kids in their late-30s and early-40s also have parents who had them around that age. I always say whatever works for you is the right answer.
I like what you said. People assume that we don’t want to be pregnant earlier but some of us just had miscarriages, fertility treatments that started years, male factor. It is so unfair that it is like we just decided to get pregnant in our late 30s
I'm almost 40... and have waited my entire life to have children because I refused to have one without a good father to share in the adventure. Having come from a toxic family and spent most of my life surrounded by toxic people? I refused to have children because I didn't feel safe and knew the child would suffer... I've FINALLY found the loving, supportive, and protective man I've always longed for only about a year and a half ago. We both want children, but there are a few other things we want to set in place first. Once we have our farm and I'm a naturalized Japanese citizen? We plan to marry and have our first child. I'll be in my 40s, but that just increases the chances of twins~ We couldn't be happier with the life we've chosen, both for us AND our future children!
@@aspiring... It's sad that it's not spoken of more often. It's not just women struggling to find good partners, it's everyone. Many still think that all they have to provide is money and a roof, because that's all that was required of them for the past few generations or they were taught that. Generational trauma has been passed down for a centuries and few are doing what they need to in order to heal from it so they can be decent people, much less loving and responsible parents. It's a major issue that's getting in the way of many individuals starting a family...
Hi there, I am 40 too and I am in my round cycle of medicated cycles, that is to say, fertility medicine. I had my first child at 34. My advice, please don't wait around for nature. Nature isn't that kind to the healthiest of us. Find a fertility clinic that can run hormone tests, sperm checks etc and set you on a path towards success. Also with doctor's approval you can start with prenatal vitamins, ubiquinol, Alpha Luponic acid. These can help improve egg quality. I wish you all the best.
I got pregnant at 15.Second at 18. I am now nearly 41 and i can tell you if i had a baby now....mentally i would be more prepared. But back then, i had a lot more strength and energy. I will not judge anyone. Good luck to anyones heart desires . 😊
I devoted all my life to studying and getting my degrees. My husband convinced me to have my baby and i am 46 and pregnant 35 weeks. I was terrified to be pregnant all my life and i was told it would have difficult pregnancy which didn't turn out to be true. Only now i feel some discomfort. So dont be put of by old statistics/information. Each woman is different. If you want to have a baby go for it and enjoy it as much as possible!
Hope it all goes well for you. It was obviously meant to be plus you have a good partner by the sounds of it. I’m 43 almost 44 and would love to have a 2nd child.
Firstly congratulations of course 😊. Out of curiosity, did you obtain financial value out of those degrees and studies (I.e. remuneration worth all those years of study, instead of climbing the ladder from the get go) once you have successfully completed them?
@@Lucpol1986 thank you. Honestly no, climbing the professional ladder would have brought me more financial stability and can't say they did a significant difference, I admit though they added some value
I am 40 and just started trying for my first child, having finally found the right partner. I own my own home, have travelled the world, have a good career and have built up decent savings. I am so ready. ❤
I had my only child at 49 yrs old and as a single mum- no regrets it has been the best and most joyous thing! Of course I did have medical assistance - though started off without- the process took a few years due to this- advice- start as soon as you can!!! He is now 22 yrs old!
Both my great grandmothers had their last babies at 43 & 46. Big families were common in rural areas and children were considered a blessing from God. Don’t ever let anyone else’s opinions determine what you do or don’t do. Opinions aren’t facts and often misguided.
Last baby in your 40s is fine. But if society follows a pattern like Italy where the next generation also waits until late to have children, then one does not become a grandparent until 75-80 and is never really part of the grandchild's life. No more "Nonna", she'll be dead by the time the grandchild hits puberty. It's just sad, that's all.
@@melroc8566 but in the west with nuclear families kids also don't have solid relationships with extended family. Prior to birth control women regularly gave birth up to menopause at cca 50 plus life expectancy was much lower than today so many kids back then probably didn't have long relationships with meemaws either
@@melroc8566 well it’s not meant to be to have a ‘nonna’ then. The best to do is to be a good mother to your own children to teach them good values and habits and anything else you believe that will help them become good decent people. This will filter down to the next generation.
Had a miscarriage at 37, conceived my daughter at 38. Met my husband at 34. Life took me there. I’m a better mum than I could ever be if I’d had my daughter at 28. I live in Turkiye btw, here the number of “geriatric” mothers is also rising. My grandma had my mum (her first child) at 18, mum had me (her only child) at 28, times are changing.
glad to hear this...im 41 and I feel a lot of fear and pressure around this topic...people telling me i need to hurry etcetc.... its very empowering and hopeful to read this :) thanks for sharing.
I’m 37, we still haven’t got a baby since we got married 12 years ago because of my husband’s fertility issue. We both love babies so much and hope we’ll also have a healthy and loving baby soon 😊. Pls pray for us too!😌🙏🏾 Love, peace and happiness for everyone!❤
The Lord Jesus Christ has already blessed you. The Lord has paid the price for Sin which includes sickness and disease. All you need is belief. God bless you 🙏🏽
Don’t worry, I didn’t plan it and got pregnant at 38, gave birth at 39 and then got pregnant 5 months later. Now I’m 40 and about to give birth to my second child. You’ll get there when your body is ready
I have several reasons to have my first son at 39: 1. Psychologically I was not ready to give birth until 35. 2. I did not meet the right man until 36 3. I have not saved enough for 1 year staying at home until 33. 4. The miracle did not happen until 2 year after marriage. Now at 41, I have to healthy handsome boys. More tests were required for the 2nd pregnancy than the first, but everything turned out ok. If I had my kids earlier, like in my early 30s or late 20s, I don’t think I can handle being a SHM well.
can you elaborate on the psychological part ? I am 35 I don't feel ready I was never in a relationship I have anxiety that might be the reason and people around me keep saying you need to hurry up and have children or you will die alone
@@suppernova1184 1. I was afraid of commitment so I thought of being a single mum. At the same time, I was afraid of raising a kid all by myself. 2. I wanted a kid of my own but I was afraid of labour pain, delivery complications and death during birth delivery. 3. I was not a happy person so I doubted if I could raise my kid to be a happy person. 4. I had not achieved the career goals I set in my 20s so I was reluctant to give up everything to be a mom. 5. I found myself awkward around young kids, like I did not know how to interact with them, so I doubt if I was really destined to be a mother or not.
I had my first baby at 32!! NO REGRETS!! I had a happy, healthy pregnancy. NO ISSUES. I’m glad that I allowed myself to mentally mature and achieve financial stability to be the best mother I can be!
I don’t think they’re talking about 32 year olds having a baby 😂 you’re the perfect average for the UK. They’re talking more about women who are beyond the fertility drop, I.e 35+ and far beyond. 32 is now considered on the younger end of the spectrum believe it or not
I get what she wrote though. I’m in the US and they consider 30 to be old. Theirs a lot of pressure on getting married young and having kids in your early 20’s. Even when I dated it’s rare for men to think I’m 31 with no children. They think I’m a man lol or something is wrong with me. Only because I believe in marriage first and I value sexual discipline. It’s crazy I’m shamed because I’m waiting (I’m not a virgin, but if I’m not in a committed relationship no). And I’m still learning about myself. So congratulations to you on making that decision. I have many family members crying to me in their early 20’s because of how expensive it is or they don’t have a life. The guys they choice aren’t around. So I’m following gods plan and not my own.. Also some older men (who are divorced now) . People that married young are getting or are divorced by their 30’s so unfortunately those are the majority of men available. Most men have kids by now. But, many weren’t mature or knew themselves to get married. So men also pray on your biological clock. Making you feel behind. Thinking that I’m desperate to have kids. Sir lol I’m not desperate. I love kids and I volunteer to help with them. Lastly, I own a business and many wealthy people have their kids in their 30s and early 40s. Chose what life you desire and give it to god life your life.
My father was born in 1932 and his mother was 35. Women have been having babies into their 40’s forever; it’s having the *first* child later in life that’s notable.
Thank you for your comment❤ I'm African and have seen women having children till they can't my whole life so I never understood where the having children over thirty is difficult and dangerous narrative came from... maybe society just doesn't like when women have the power and freedom of choice
Exactly it's having a first child at 50 that's bothering me. If they stayed at 37 and kept going until 50 it wouldn't both me so much. It's getting weird this fertility stuff. Playing too much with nature
I had my daughter at 28. I thought I did everything right, finished college, had a career, and found a wonderful man who was also highly educated. However, I was tricked! He waited till I was 6 months pregnant to reveal what an abusive monster he was. I fled when my daughter was 9 months old. Now Im 47 and absolutely exhausted from the last 20 years and just want to be free from all the madness of doing absolutely everything. I just want to rest and conserve my lifeforce (if possible) into my 50s and beyond. It would be interesting to hear these women's experiences 20 years later after having children later in life.
This story is similar to mine. Had my child at 28 right after graduating college; her father abandoned us before she was even born despite previously ranting about how much he wanted kids. He pays child support but has provided literally nothing else other than blaming me for the circumstances being what they are. I lived with my abusive mother for 10 years while working full time and trying to save enough to move out, but covid and inflation made all of my efforts futile. I finally got married to a wonderful man last summer who has taken on the father roll, and I am currently a stay at home mom, and we homeschool, but that hasn't made things easier. I had to give up my career, my retirement, and my dreams. I keep hoping that someday, I can find the balance between my roll as mother and just generally preserving my energy and sanity for other life endeavors. I will say that I do sometimes wish that I had waited even longer to have a kid. When I got pregnant, the situation wasn't ideal, but I also felt like I might not get another opportunity to have kids, and looking back, I think that mindset was my downfall. If I had waited, I might have had a completely different experience as a mother, and many of the struggles that I faced as a result of not waiting would have resolved themselves. I would have been older, yes, but I also would have had a different mentality and probably more opportunities to find that balance that I crave now but cannot seem to find.
@@fairywingsonroses I feel everything about your experience, all your hard work, and the disappointments after sacrificing so much. I understand the feeling of wishing you would have delayed longer. But, at that time and given the circumstances you describe, most women would have felt like having a child was a great decision. I think that stories like ours demonstrate that no matter how much a woman prepares herself for being a mother, we are not in control what our partner does and the implications for their misteps can be an enormous burden on us. Adding on the challenges that come along with the unique issues women face in their older age would seem to compound this burden......but, may you reach your every goal and may you be able to rest comfortably in your sucess. 💜
Us older moms are much more easily capable of doing things ourselves and often we prefer it that way. I'm a self made woman, completely independent. I have my safety net should something happen to my health or life.
I just turned 40 and my baby is 10 months old. This video is about me. I have a medical graduate degree then worked in my field. The cost of child care and everything else in the USA is so expensive that the irony is I will be a stay at home older mom while my son grows for a while and when I have another child. Two is the amount I’d like and I’d be happy with just one.
Just got my baby at almost 40yrs. BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME❤ Yes I've wanted to become a mother earlier but i haven't found the right partner. My health is AMAZING❤ My baby is amazing❤ healthy, beautiful, perfectly developed ❤ But I do fasting, heavy metal detox, personal development,... I'm the best I've ever was😊 And i wanna have another child❤
Ladies let’s be real. Economy, lack of fair opportunities, guys that aren’t responsible and the fear of being a single mother. The time and the tool it takes on your body. Society and predators, horrible postpartum care, horrible delivery care… I can keep going…
I agree with the economy. But if you think about it predators have always been around it is just we give kids access to that when they don't have to. The best Parents I see now a days are homeschooling their kids but they don't want to admit that takes a lot of resources in a way. My friend had waited till she was 39 to have some children and her partner was over 50. They had perfectly healthy kids it seems but he already retired so there ya go.
I just had my first baby last July and celebrated my 40th birthday in December. My husband and I now have a healthy, beautiful baby girl. Everyone’s path is different, and honestly I wouldn’t have wanted ours any other way.
I love the comments of older moms conceiving naturally. It gives me hope I could become a mom still 🤗 although I also made up my mind to settle with what my destiny brings. I will become a mom if that is actually for me. All is in God's hands.
I had my child at 40 , now she is 8 and we are truly happy. If l could go back l will do the same. I did so much in my life and now l have still a lot of energy for my adventures child. I wish the best to all mums of any age.
I’m 38 and know I’m going to be a late mom, I made the choice to take care of my body/mind and live a healthy lifestyle so that I can carry my child when that time comes ❤ reading these comments make me happy
Me too…had my first baby when I was 39… conceived naturally..I had given up the hope of getting pregnant by then… I hope this gives some hope to women who are trying to get pregnant at a later age
glad to hear this...im 41 and I feel a lot of fear and pressure around this topic...people telling me i need to hurry etcetc.... its very empowering and hopeful to read this :) thanks for sharing.
I’m 37, dealing with infertility, 5 miscarriages, and even amidst my grief I often feel grateful it hasn’t happened yet. With every passing year I’ve gotten more secure, healthier and more healed of generational trauma. I think in my 40’s and beyond will be when I can be the best mum I can be.
Ayurvedic practitioner here. We help people with these issues all the time. You may need to balance your Apana vata. Reduce the vata in your body and pitta. It’s helps. Let me know if you want more info x
@@Luckyforus686 not sure how I didn’t read the room? I’m offering caring support and hope. We see women all the time in our clinic who’s fertility journey completely changes with similar experiences to yourself. Surely that’s nice to hear XX
@@rcjacksonbrighton are you? Or are you jumping on people sharing their personal stories as a chance to advertise your services? You’ve commented on 4 different people, none of whom were asking for advice.
@@Luckyforus686 I actually help people for free. So there’s no financial gain for me. Imagine if you knew very clear ways of helping women with their fertility... life changing ways, and you kept it to yourself? You couldn’t. You would want to share with those who might need it. I spend most of my time volunteering to those who need it so you can be sure I’m not financially motivated. - If you choose to see it that way, and see the negative in it, then it only goes to confirm that you are probably holding too much Pitta/heat in your system. Honestly, it’s one of the main reasons why people struggle with fertility (the body not being a correct environment to hold the pregnancy) and it’s not talked about by allopathic medicine/modern medicine. If not from me, I would highly recommend you chat with an Ayurvedic practitioner near you and have a chat with them. Xxx
Women are not CHOOSING to have babies later. The society has pushed women to have babies late because it is clearly impossible to own a house, be secure and have a career at the age of 22 🤬 And I am not talking about women, I am talking about men who need to do this in order to become good fathers and that usually happens in late 30s or early 40s. That is why their partners/wifes can only have children at this age! I cant believe women in this debate do not realise this 🤯🤯🤯🤦🏻♀️
Men are not going through pregnancy and nursing all that stuff. It is much more impactful for women’s bodies. But I don’t think it’s good also for men to have kids this late, they cannot be really a participant in the kids life at that point. Can’t run, play soccer, pick up the kid , etc
I hope you have some knowledge that losing a parent can cause harm to children. A man who fathers children at 80 and dies causes harm through loss of a parent.
My mom had me at 23. She just wanted to fit in really not to become a mom at that age. She was a terrible mother to me, cold and avoidant, she was just never there for me. I had been sexually abused by a family member for 3 years on a regular basis and she just never found out when it occurred right in front of her almost. My grandma took care of me mostly. Mom had another child later in life and is just like a different person to him, she had him when she was ready to be a mother. Honestly, I'd rather have a much older mom who's warm and caring than a younger one who's been forever annoyed by your presence in her life. I'd love to take care of an older but warm and caring mom in return.
I had my first at 22, we are very close and have amazing relationships. I know people who had kids at 35+ and don't have energy to play with them and explore the world together. It's very individual, some people will never be ready, but I enjoy being a young mom who can relate.
I am sorry that you had to go through some harsh experience. I hope you have now people in your life who love you and treasure you. My point is, yes, my mom was 21 when she got me and no, it was definitely too early for her. I remember my childhood as her being annoyed, stressed and overwhelmed by being a mother. I get a lot that being a mom after 40 is basically a crime and you should have a child at 20-25. And I honestly do not understand why. And as in your case, my grandparents were there and took over a lot. There were my best friends.
@@anastasiiapotapova6242 nobody is saying young moms are not good. The point is that someone can be ready at 22, and someone may not be ready. My parents met in their 40s, and I enjoyed a very energetic mother, because she was happy. She danced Britney Spears dances with me, did make up sessions , would sing for me.... And she was in her 40s. Same for my dad. My mother was severly abused in her youth so if she would have been my mother in her 20s, I would have meet an abused depressed version of her, not really up for dancing or playing. Human beings are not like a chicken or a cow. You cannot look at it from the purely animalistic things. We have deeper things that afects us. I am sure you and many young moms are awesome. But for some people psychological preparation and a good relationship are not there and its way better to wait than to have kids and resent them, or create a dysfunctional family
Sixties and seventies is too late I think, but I’d rather have parents who actually knew how to take care of themselves and were emotionally mature. My parents started having kids at 30, and I think that was the right choice. When they tell me about how they were at 22, 25, 27, I can’t imagine being raised by those people. They’re different, and dare I say quite irresponsible, people.
That a bit harsh I had my first one at 23, 24, and 27 and have been married now for 24 years and have dedicated my life to my children to say that parents in their 20’s are irresponsible is wrong. People have children when they are ready weather it be in their 20’s or later each to their own
@@daus6035 it's not wrong and it's more likely that a parent in their 20s is more immature than a parent in their 30s. This is not debatable. You can't even rent a care until you are 25 in the U.S... You aren't thinking critically.
This is an important point. My parents had me at 23, they were still just babies themselves and made some serious mistakes as they just didn't have the emotional maturity to handle child rearing. They had my sibling when they were in their 30s and did much better as they'd grown up a lot. Our brains don't even fully develop until around age 25 so it seems sensible to hold off until 30 or so (for most people).
My Mum had me (her 3rd child) at 43 🤷🏾♀️ She and Daddy were patient, intelligent, calm and wise. I thank God every day for both of them - even as a child I saw the difference in mindset, time spent with me, disposable income and the morals we were given, to my peers (every single boyfriend and friend was jealous of me having the parents I had) They were so accomplished in their careers and life experiences that I knew I could do and be anything, and deserved love, respect, kindness and romance from partners (and learned the blueprint of how to give all of that back) .... Older parents rock 😂
I had my first at 39, and have recently had my 2nd at 43. I agree with the fact that women place priority on growing their careers and taking time to find their life partner. I didn't marry until i was 37 and am pleased that I waited. I'm grateful to have also travelled extensively and relocated globally several times in my 20's and 30's and had all that experience before starting a family.
ua-cam.com/users/PriyaPP7 I hope you're well. I wondered if I might be able to speak with you regarding a programme we are currently working on? Thank you.
just take a look at how some* of us were raised by parents that were not/did not want to be parents and have terrible mental health and passed them onto our generation. I’m happy I waited until I was 33 even though I faced some fertility struggles. Life for children is better when you have a healthy and safe environment to raise your child in 💕
Prayed so hard for my almost 40 yr old son to find someone to start a family. He finally met an incredible woman who is 37 , she too always wanted a family but thought it wouldn’t come to her. They are now pregnant naturally and we are so over joyed for them. I had all 4 kids by 27 and married 40 years. Times have changed for sure ❤
There’s many more rules and laws protecting children! It’s not as easy as before. Having four children in the 80s was so different than now. That life is a dream now.
I am 39 yo and giving birth for the first time very soon (10 days left to due date). I am very happy. 😊 I was not ready to have kids until last year. I travelled extensively, I worked a lot, I dealt with my own traumas, I waited until my father passed away after a decade of Alzheimer. When my father was alive, my focus was him and his illness. My husband and I tried to have a baby for the first time last year, I was lucky to got pregnant easily, but unfortunately the first pregnancy ended in a spontaneous abortion during the 1st semester. It was very hard for me to realise that with age, more risks come up... We never talk about the higher risks of being pregnant after 35. 😢
I am 41 and I have a breast cancer. I will never get pregnant anymore in my life, because of hormone therapy. Had my first child at 26, 3 years later my second one. It's important to have a baby when you are also in a top condition physically, not only mentally or financially.
So it was meant to be that you would have both children before 30 and then your health dipped. Other women may have children later in life and still have good health physically. It’s the roll of the dice 🤷🏽♀️
So thrue most woman geth there hormonale inbalance by 40 so cancers start. Its noth a game by thingking i have ith all and reproduce thath time, more twins are born ath older age and mingling with hormones, A child is still a gift from God.
Had my 2nd baby at age 41 🤷🏿♀️ I enjoyed my child free 20s and 30s. I have plenty of energy and my babies are healthy 🙌🏿 there are risks, but I don’t think the risks are as common as originally stated. We’re much healthier now as humans.
My (27) mum had me at 44 (dad was 50), I was a happy surprise. 20 years difference between me and the next sibling. Congrats to all the mums in the comments! :)
There you go. And bet she was a good mother when you were growing up. It’s like you were meant to be born to her at that time. We are we to argue what nature Wills?
@@ChooseU4ever Not the person you're replying to, or relevant to me personally, but one of my best friends is incredibly close with her mum, who gave birth to her (I think) at 41. She's the youngest of four, but they have the strongest mother/daughter relationship I know of. They're able to talk about anything and everything together.
These ladies associating women in their 30’s with the word geriatric is part of ageism against women. Last year a 47 year old coworker had twins without any ivf treatment. A healthy woman who took care of her health so well throughout her entire life was finally in a healthy and safe relationship and nature just took care of the rest. People just get over it! With help or no help from science, society is changing and more and more women like my beloved coworker will be having healthy babies.
@@queenprincess4life - yes, staying healthy and having a good chance (genetic record) of longevity means that having children in your 40’s or even 50’s is fine. Parenting is a risky business at any age, it’s just that the risks are different. Having them young means there is a higher chance of making serious emotional developmental mistakes in raising them because the parents are still immature. Having them later increases the likelihood of leaving them through death or burdening them with your own health issues before the child reaches maturity. If you feel you still have a good 30+ healthy and vital years left to devote to a child - go for it!
Women have been having children in their 30s & 40s for generations. In a lot of cultures it’s not taboo to have kids that age it’s considered a blessing.
I was 34year old having my first. Im now 38 and hoping to make a little sibling for my boy. I find it very interesting when people are concerned about losing their freedom when having children. I have never had a more freeing experience other than the one of being a mother. I have been able to unlock myself in the most amazing ways, emotionally, and mentally. It was a beautiful mental process for me to improve as a person and to become a better human being. I have become unapologetic about the way that I feel about things, because I am working towards creating a better world for my children. I do not stay in silence to make people comfortable anymore. My priorities have shifted so dramatically that my entire personality has changed and I am so grateful that I can finally be myself because I have a huge purpose now. So if you’re on the fence about having kids, do not let the world fool you telling you that you will lose your freedom. You will find so much more about yourself and you will truly be free then.
My mom married at 34, she had me at 36. As a kid, people would assume that she was my grandma and I would always feel embarrassed and awkward. I was also a tiny bit envious that my classmates had a lot younger looking moms than my mom. But all of these feelings were just a phase. I love my mom so much. By Gods grace, she's now 74 and Im 38.
My mom had me at 32 and she had issues with getting pregnant so I was the surprise of a life time for her. My mother is the same age as your mom so its ok for a mom to be older. There are things in this world that are not perfect but I love my mom to death as well. In all honesty you mom was still pretty young in my opinion but I don't have kids and I am in my 40's and I would like a child but not sure that will happen for me though. So I have to be ok with that.
I had a comparatively older mother when I was at school too (compared to other kids' mothers), and I was self-conscious about it because she could have passed as my grandmother too. We also don't look alike. But I'm very grateful she's my mother and I'm grateful to have a mother, God bless her. ❤My mother married at 29 and struggled to conceive for about 7 years, until my eldest sister arrived. Then another sister until, lastly, she gave birth to me at age 44. 🎇
My mom had me at 38. We had the same experience when we were kids, but like you said, It was just a phase. I love my mom so much, as she raised me without my father. She's now 70 and I'm 33. I only pray that she has a longer life so I can be with her more.
For those who consider marriage before children, I think that also is a factor. People are getting married for the first time later in life, thus children would naturally come later. I know marriage isn’t for everyone, but throwing it out there.
I had my two daughters at 39 & 42. Luckily no issues conceiving. I was a MUCH better, wiser mother as a result. I’d had my adventures, had a decent income & more flexibility. I was ready, relaxed, & mature. It was much better for my girls - they are now good, capable people. The planet doesn’t need us to populate like rabbits all our lives.
The truth is that men also have the same big question about having kids, it is not only up to a wish to have kids, it is about creating a solid family. There is no right age, I am a mom in my 40s and I am happy that I found a responsible and supportive husband, I knew that I was not going to settle for less. If you are reading this, find someone who envision a family and not a culture target, if the government demands babies then they should invest in families, social issues, cybersecurity, safety, health care, parental leave, and continuously assess the issues trends.
The social economic pressures placed on people have been a menace to society and have brought a lot of fear, especially to our newly young challenged generation.
People will blame women for not marrying young and having kids at young age. But suppose a women married young, had kids young but husband was bad partner who abandoned them. These same people will blame women for choosing bad partner.
As a millenial with no children , I've been watching a lot of videos where the interviewer speaks to older people. Their greatest advice over and over is always to live life your way. Do the things that make you happy, versus living for others. You will never find fulfillment in trying to either conform or impress others, when much of society is unhappy with themselves anyway. Whether it be having a child, or not.. go slowly and intentionally in life and make decisions that feel intuitively right. That is a powerful gift we women have - intuition. May we choose to listen to it often and use this gift wisely :)
Wait a minute, in this era where data shows most women are depressed or reliant on anti-depressants, you want everyone to keep following the advice that has been causing this? Good luck, world!
I just want to say thank you to everyone who have shared their stories! I'm 30 and have a lot of health problems I'm not even well enough to hold a full time job right now let alone have a family. I'm doing everything I can to get better but the biological clock scares me. You're responses have really helped to reassure me so thank you again!
Please dear, don't worry yourself sick, focus on yourself first especially in terms of HEALTH, afterall it's the uptmost WEALTH! Also, while that should be at the top, try and look for the right partner, this ultimately determines how your future will be, look for the core values in a man , trust me, no matter what, with the right one, future battles will be half won. I sincerely pray for Strength, Healing, Wisdom and Peace. Come back in few years time with ypur testimonies.❤
Your body is incredibly smart and resilient! Give it a time, it will heal itself and let your dearest wishes come true! (Same here, biological clock thing scares shit out of me, have panic attacks time-to-time, but this is a socially-conditioned brain which is panicking).
If your illness could be passed on to children then don’t have them. It’s selfish and you’d be forcing suffering on your children. Foster or adopt instead.
My Dad was 48 years old when I was born. He had cancer three times when I was 8, 10 and 15 years old. He died 6 days after my 15th birthday and he was the only parent that raised me because my birth mom suffered from schizophrenia and lost full custody of me. As a result I had to be adopted by my emotionally and verbally abusive sister. Being raised by an older parent was very traumatizing to me because I also had to fear the day when my Dad would die and it still fucks me up mentally to this day.
Be courageous. Do not fear to suffer, try to say to yourself that you are here to fight, love and be strong. If we fear to much, we become weak and sick. Que sera, sera. Looking ahead!
Sending love and light your way. You are a strong woman. Please let go of the hurt and look ahead. I pray the future brings joy unlimited for you. And please forgive your parents, life happens, shit happens. Some people with really young parents also dealt with having sick parents or emotionally unstable parents. Love and light.
Don’t know what y’all talking about. Since childhood I’ve known of women giving birth from early 20’s up to mid 50’s. Older generations had no contraceptive and no sterilization. You had siblings that could’ve been your parent. That’s way less common nowadays.
Before the pill, most women gave birth until menopause so having children at older age was not a new thing. What is new is that people become first-time mothers in their 40s near the end of their natural fertility and some use IVF to conceive after menopause.
😂 welcome to social media and new age where everyone have opinion and at the same time forgets history. It irks people that women are making choice to have children young. So obviously it angers some people and have to criticize women.
@@Dhyaam5989 Don’t think so (that they’re angered) necessarily. To me, it’s evident that nowadays there’s a very unnecessary urgency to be original and come up with something new, as if a look at the past is ignorance. So much renaming and/or “rebranding” popular knowledge, and wanting praise for common practices. Also, related to this topic, it’s so obvious the conversation is made to support a lifestyle that prevents women to embrace maternity as an aspiration early on.
At 44 I was most certainly an older mum. It wasn't by choice. It took a while for me to get married again not by choice, I just was among the last to be picked of the shelf. So I got married at 34 then battled male factor infertility for 10yrs and ended a mother of twins at 44
I was born in 1950! My mother was 36 and my dad was 39. I was the oldest child, firstborn, and my brother was born 6 years later. Both were college educated and worked for airlines. So. This is nothing new, just more common than in previous decades.
I had my first baby at 30, second at 32 and now again at 34. Every pregnancy was great, each baby was born naturally with no complications and are healthy. I love them so much. ❤
Sounds amazing! I would love this as well. Plus, I would like to add my fourth and last baby at 36. I am turning 30, have a house and a good relationship, finished university plus all the other courses and studies, wrote some books, traveled the world, and did everything I wanted to do before getting pregnant. The only big problem we are having is renovations. We live in Spain and everything takes such a long time.. Plus, we have been scammed by ´builders´ a few times already. Initially we wanted to wait until all renovations were done, but I just don´t think this is duable. My guess is at this pace it will still take 5 years or so.. I can´t wait for that.. My eggs neither..
I just had my son three months ago and I’m 39 (my daughter is two). I feel SO lucky because I definitely absorbed the cultural message that after 35 you’re old and your eggs are old and good luck. I accepted that a family might not happen for me when I had to start my life over at 28 when my intuition told me: No children with this man. I did so much healing in my early thirties and found a worthy, wonderful man. I wouldn’t change a thing about my life in my twenties because all of that experience and time made me a better person for my children who came when they were meant to be born-what a gift. 💝
This is encouraging for me. I am 32 now and I grew up like an orphan though both parents were alive but separated. Went through lots of mental emotional trauma at the hands of guardians and mother. I only started to heal in my late 20s when I was able to separate myself from them and live on my own. I don’t have a partner and I am scared so this was encouraging to read. Also apart from never having Met the right man I have also never have been financially ready for a child. I can barely get by by myself
I’ll be 48 when I deliver my baby. Conceived naturally. Truly a blessing ❤
Congratulations! Wishing you a happy and healthy rest of your pregnancy and a darling delightful little babe on the other side ❤
Bless you and your family!!!❤❤❤
Awesome ❤
so happy for you
Congratulations and thank you for sharing. I'm 49 without partner and affraid that It is to late for me. It's nice to know that the dream might be still alive. God bless you.
why are people surprised my generation isn't having many kids? the jobs we have pay fuckall, the threat of being unemployed is omnipresent, we can't afford to buy a house, the rent is ridiculously high, buying groceries sometimes bankrupts us, we have no time for family or friends, we live to work only and relationships are more and more existing mostly digitally. with all that and many other such cases how can i physically, mentally or financially take care of a child?
Don’t forget that once you have the children you will get zero help! If you’re not blessed with family support, you’re on your own.
@@TinyRanter yeah my sister had a kid (not planned) and it was amazing seeing her helpful boyfriend that i thought would be such a great proactive dad turn into a father that needs her to say exactly what he has to do otherwise he "won't know" what he needs to do to his own son or the house (the poor fellow!) now my sister has no time for anything and figured out a divorce is better than to live like this, but all the money goes towards the rent bc no one our age actually owns a house and she can't move out. it's like my generation taught the girls we can be anything and to be free but still taught the boys they need a wife to do things for them. i only date men my age and every boyfriend i've had is extremely childish (i'm 28 now), makes me think if i need to wait till im 40 or something so the men are actually grown enough to have an equal relationship, bc they can't fathom this concept now.
💯% That’s why more women are choosing to use donor sperm and do it alone now! Another reason we’re seeing women’s rights being eroded.
Just date older problem solved
You just summed it up. Who can afford a baby when we barely scrape through
Women are choosing to start families later (or not have a family at all) for many, many reasons:
1. It takes much longer to find a good supportive partner
2. It takes longer to establish a career
3. Cost of living / affordability
4. Lack of post-partum care for women
5. Cost of childcare or lack of support for families.
6. General state of the planet and environment.
The first reason is bullshit, there are plenty of good caring men out there that would love to start a family with a good partner,, with good incomes, but women believe they need to have a 10/10 in every aspect or they aren’t worth even considering as a life partner. Tired of hearing this excuse.
OP is right, there are fewer good men who would be good husband's so yes it does take longer to find.
@@Agtsmirnoff she is right. Finding a good male partner is incredibly hard today. Many of them are game players, narcissists, violent controlling men. So it takes a long time, and it's tiring.
@@Aquagirl-in6wr yes and woman like you are angels.. its always the other sex who is not good enaugh. -.-' grow up
@@Aquagirl-in6wr
What do you mean "good" male partner?
Let's be honest, you'll list off a bunch of intangible crap but really you mean is: "Finding a good male partner that also has super model looks is incredibly hard today"
Otherwise what you are saying is BS.
I’m 45 and holding my one month old as we speak! I love this so much and I KNOW I’ll be a better mom now rather than 20 years ago.
Congratulations 😊
❤
Strong
🙏 ❤🎉
Did you have complications with your pregnancy?
I'm 37 and 17 weeks pregnant with our first baby. I've never felt more prepared than now. We've been married for 3.5 years, have enough income, savings/investments, a home to give her space to grow, and most of all a stable two parent household. We're blessed and grateful!
That’s not being prepared to raising a child, having a child is simpler than raising a child having one is the easy part. You can’t prepare for raising a child. You can read and talk about it all you want, you’ll see and your partner is going to be apart of this too.
@@mosijahi3096 You could've said congrats and moved on. You also could've kept scrolling. But here you are sounding like a bitter hater.
You did the right thing. It's far healthier for children to grow up in secure environments. That means emotional and environmental stability (directly affected by your financial stability- consistent housing, food security, predictable routines, etc).
You are providing your child with a strong foundation. Good job
@@mosijahi3096wow, it sounds like you really struggled as a financially disadvantaged parent. I hope things get better for you and your family 💕
@@mosijahi3096you can mentally prepare yourself to change diapers and let a kid cry in a separate room etc
I just had my first baby at 43. My daughter is almost 4 now and I'm 47, and I couldn't be happier. I'm glad she knows the mature version of me who has broken toxic patterns learned from a toxic upbringing.
I wish more people could be like this. You are making the world a better place by choosing to put off having kids until your mental health got better. I’m in therapy now and am almost 27. I don’t know if I want kids or not but if I have kids, I am following your lead.
God Bless ❤
wow lol are you me but older?? my fiance and i are doing the same thing with the toxic past. we both grew up in domestic violence etc. it was my daughter who unintentionally taught me how bad my childhood was and how the F my mother could allow such cruelty to happen. my father NEEDED mental health help but with his upbringing... never going to happen. our child is 4 and we are already miles better than our parents at being parents. so i can totally relate to you.
it is very selfish. I was a kid of an older parent, and he died when I was at school, and I had to put up with a series of bad boyfriends my mother had. Parents only think of themselves not their kid.
@@beaulieuc8910people make choices considering circumstances.
Your father could still have died when he was young. Maybe you would have both young toxic parents. You can only prepare for life and hope choices you make is right.
Even in older gen people used to have kids in their 40s. My great grandmother and great great grandmother all had kids in their 40s too. Some of them lived to see their marriages, some died soon.
Perhaps if your mother died while giving birth, would you have blamed her ?
Would you have been happy with abusive toxic 2 parents?
It's your mom's mistake for bringing bad bfs not your father's for having child at an older age.
I'm 36 with a paid off house, travelled extensively, built a nice career, dealt with all my traumas and emotional issues, married the perfect guy, and about to have my first baby in about 3 weeks. There's no other time in my life I would have wanted children but now. I'm ready to meet my son and I'm very happy with the person he's going to meet.
That’s wonderful. Also, you’ll probably find many generational/internalized emotional pains you didn’t know existed in his first week of life. I’m in the camp that firmly believes we can never truly be ready to go from non-parent to parent, but I applaud your genuine effort and dedication; you’ll need it 🙌. Loved and struggled through 22 years of parenting over here. It was hard and beautiful
Love to read this. All the best to you and your family 💜
Congratulations
Agree there was no way I could have entertained the thought of being a parent in my 20s. I barely had money for myself
Congrats and I wish more women had that same mindset!
I married in my early 40’s. I just never met the suitable life partner until that time. I will be 50 next year. We are still hoping for our miracle. I’m not giving up and I am encouraged by the comments below ❤God bless you all
You will be blessed
❤
I think I've reached my menopause, I'm turning 53 this September but desperately pray to be blessed with a miracle.
Is that possible having no periods since November 2023!?
Run to a fertility clinic
I got married at 39, had my twins at 47. Good luck
That comment section makes me smile from ear to ear. I am 37 and with God’s Grace, I will have my family too. Thank you for sharing your life stories. Very uplifting 😊
Same here 🥰 May you find a good, strong husband soon and have beautiful, healthy babies!🤗
@@nuranur4093 thank youuuu 🙏🏽. Same to you 🫶🏽
I am 37 soon and want to hve children just like u wishing us all the best
@@tanm9260wishing you the same 🫶🏽😊
🙏🏾
I honestly think females aren't getting pregnant until later is because nowadays it's harder to find a suitable partner
I was just scrolling for this comment. The change in dating culture must have some correlation with the change in birth rates. I know many women who would love to have children, but they have found it impossible to meet a solid partner who also wants the same thing.
amen to that!
Also, I think our standards are higher for men and ourselves. We have more knowledge about mental health and emotional intelligence, how parents' behaviours can affect children. I certainly don't want to pass on the toxic tendancy I inherited from my parents, before most of it is healed.
Also there is no village anymore, you have to solely rely on yourself and your partner and you usually both have to work. Even if the kids are of great health that's challenging, let alone if they have special needs. That seems quite a risk so maybe society should address that instead of shame and push people into bringing children into financially, socially and emotionally deprived circumstances
Absolutely this. This is number 1 reason.
Had my first child with ivf at 41…now I’m pregnant naturally at 43😊
I still have hope 🙏🏽
@@vanikaedward1793me too
I had baby 4 (bonus baby we didn’t know was coming) at 43, she is 7 months old…. My eldest daughter just turned 24 🤣
@@Wavesurfa wow. Congratulations 🎉.
My first born sister and I (currently 33) are 17 years apart. I wouldn't change a thing ❤.
That's awesome! Congrats! ❤
I’m 46 with my first baby who is now 5 months old. Conceived naturally. It has been hard, but wonderful!
Congratulations 😊
Congratulations 🙂
Congratulations. Being a mother is a blessing
@@TypingGirl that’s great! Gives me hope too x
@@TypingGirl that’s great! Gives me hope too x
Praying for the women who really wish to have a child but are struggling with fertility issues or other issues 🙏🏽 might God bless you with a miracle ❤
Amen
❤
Thank you! I'm so stressed about it and scared we might need expensive procedures. At 32, I didn't thought I'd be 'too old'. It took me too long to find a good husband and turn my back on the feminist lies everyone told me. Hopefully we're going to be having our own baby this or next year. 😢
That’s the kindest comment so far. Most comments have been about how they have become mothers at such and such age forgetting that there are many who are childless not by choice and struggling and grieving.
Even the ladies in this podcast enthuse about the wonderful feelings of being a mother without a thought to those who are unable to have children.
Amen
i’m 38 i had 2 miscarriage recently…. please send me prayers all i have ever wanted was to have beautiful healthy babies… and give my unconditional love and support
Bless you,🤞❤
Praying for you, sister ❤
❤
My prayers with you. All the very best
You will be blessed!
My friend tried and tried to have her first child in her late thirties with miscarriage after another. She quit her stressful toxic job, pursued her passion and without trying they fell pregnant at 45! She is very fit and a excellent mother
🥰
Good for her!!! ANY woman who has fertility problems needs to take time off work for her body to reset. I've heard story after story of this. Hillary Clinton didn't conceive until she was on vacation. Not everyone's body handles stress the same. :/
So beautiful. I love a positive outcome like this. Woman often get so much more hostility for not having kids regardless of their personal battles.
@@BearingMySeoul taking time off work isn’t for everyone. Financial pressures on most people don’t allow it.
@@krishnagondhea7428 True. But in America anyway, where there's a will, there's a way! If I wanted to have kids bad enough, I'd move my family to a lower cost of living area to cut back on stress and expenses. There's a lot of families that can only afford to live in the boonies. 🤷♀
I'm 3 mos. pregnant now with baby no.3 and I'll be 47 yrs old by the time the baby is born. Conceived naturally. Had our 1st child at 27, our 2nd at 35 and now baby no. 3 at 47.
Praise God.
Gives me hope
That’s great! I just had one at 45 and I’m contemplating another one…😬
You are blessed. Congratulations 🙂
You had children the same age as me. So I'm guessing about 16 and 9. I got pregnant 4 times in 2 yrs. And I got rid of them all. I was the mini pill, the other pill I wasn't able to take becuae I had migraine. Not the fan of implants. Tried the injection had me all emotional amd psyco. I don't regret a thing
Amen to that
I had my twins at 40, conceived naturally. I think evidence and attitudes around women’s fertility are changing.
Nature is supporting us 🥰 despite the system (capitalism).
I hope so because it can be so negative and debilitating!
Yeah especially since most women have partners older than themselves it is not only a fertility issue of women but also men. Less healthy sperm is just not strong enough to reach the egg or is so deformed that the female body just rejects it, so miscarriages may not only be caused by the age of the woman’s body but also the age of the sperm producer, especially if both factors are combined.
I will conceive my own this year.
That’s a good point!
My grandmother had my mother at 40 and my uncle at 44. My mom was born 1948. I'm having my 1st child at 47.
I, personally love reading/hearing about women who've had children after 45 y/o.
Congratulations that’s awesome! I envy you! I think I want a baby and I’m 46😬
@@francinejones2524 Go for it!
@@robynlea6950 Me too. I love reading these stories because I feel like there's still hope for me. I'm 42. I'm yet to find a partner. 🙄
@@DivyaJoan There is STILL hope for you. You never know where/when you can encounter love.
I’m in love with this comment section as a pressurized 24 year old ❤ happy to see women able to make the right choice for their families and themselves
❤ Do you, honey
Do not do it early. It’s a trap and most men you meet around that age will be the ‘wrong one’. Wait at least until 27/28+. You will be more wiser.
@@gailainsley6939 Don't misguide her jeez... It is absolutely right time for her. There is no point of waiting until 27/28. It will only get harder for her to find a husband and to give birth for biological reasons.
@@bugra320 You are the one misguiding her. Most of the early relationships DO NOT last and the earlier a woman has them, the less likely she is to escape poverty. Have you seen the projects? Or council estates? Or ghettos? Yes. They do not move up. Why do you want her to have a hard life when she can avoid it?
@@gailainsley6939 The early relationships that you mentioned is not a relationship. It's only the modern women chasing the top 10% of men and they are being pumped and dumped. But non delusional women can easily find herself a suitable long lasting relationship. Men value purity and youth.
I am 33 married for six years . We just wanted to be financially stable before we bring another soul . I am 16 weeks pregnant with my first baby 👶
33 is still young
Congratulations!
33 is not considered old.
Very young. And married early too
@@Strawberrygoldd its not, 30 is old
My granny was a trailblazer. She was 48 when she became pregnant with my aunt. She had her at 49, and this was in 1961 !😊My father, the oldest, was already married, and quite embarrassed to see her in such state of grace. My parents were engaged and I was born one year after!
Um, I think women were doing that long before your granny and long before 1961
Women in that time did use to have children late, it's just that their first birth was earlier, but their last birth was late too (my grandma on my dad's side had 12 children, they needed kids to work the farm and also they were religious and there was no protection during sex).
When did she die? Some kids become orphans though very soon😮
@@appletree9974 She died in 1979. My auntie was 18 when she passed.
I guess your granny didn’t have the pressure of doing a professional job and the financial pressures women have today too.
A friend of mine got pregnant at 54! She thought it was the Menopause. Her " Menopause" is now 10 years old!
It was meant to be
It's possible. The reproductive health of the mother is far more relevant than the age of the mother. If she's not in menopause, it can happen.
It's never too old to have babies. Congratulations to her
😂😂😂
Aww 🎉😊
I’m 53 and have a 10 year old.. I’m much more patient and relaxed as an older mother than I would have been had I had him earlier in my life.. and he keeps me young and busy.. no regrets
I am 43 and I just had my first baby. When I was pregnant and saw my OB she said she is seeing more and more people having kids after 40 nowadays.
glad to hear this...im 41 and I feel a lot of fear and pressure around this topic...people telling me i need to hurry etcetc.... its very empowering and hopeful to read this :) thanks for sharing.
From Biology point of view, kids are likely to have health effects in the older or younger years due to quality of eggs similary to men due to lower quality of sperm
Delivered my baby when I was a month shy of being 45. Conceived naturally. He’s a freshman in college now. Totally worth it.
He’s a freshman in college, and I’m guessing you’ll soon be retired? I wish you all the best, sincerely, but it’s also very likely that your son will have to help take care of his elderly mom / parents when he’s barely in his 30s, and he’ll possibly lose you at a rather young age … maybe before he himself gets married or has kids. I feel that older parents often don’t seem to consider those things. As someone who lost both of my parents before I was 35, let me tell you that it made me very lonely in this world to know I’ll live most of my lifetime without them.
@@mistym0rningwait, my grandmom had my mum in hear early 20s. When my mum was in her early 60s she had to care for my grandmom (who was in her 80s). She wanted to enjoy her retirement and couldn't so, what's your point?
People get sick. Whether chronic or acute, it is inevitable.
🥰🤗
@@mistym0rningsuch a negative outlook. I’ve had friends who lost parents who were only 28 at the time of death. The reality is ppl who take care of themselves can live to well over 100.
I'm 31 and my mum is 69. She's completely fine and takes care of herself. Also her last two children she had at start of 40s
I had my first son at 36 and second at 37 ,now 66 I have no regrets. 🎉
Im 35 and starting now. Ill come back to this comment when im pregnant. Prayers to eveyone trying or already pregnant 🙏🏾
I was 35 with my last, it was easy enough to conceive then, l was referred to as geriatric mother, l certainly found it harder being awake every two hours to feed and breast fed all four kids. I however at 45 now tip my hat to anyone over 40 happy to go through the night feeds and toddler phase 😂. Tough cookies.
🙏
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Uko wapi?
I pray for u. May god bless u with healthy cute baby soon.
I became a first time mom at 48. I waited because my situation wasn’t ideal and I kept waiting for the ideal situation. When I finally thought being a mom was ideal I was nearly 47. So my new husband and I went for it.. I have a beautiful daughter and no regrets. My baby is perfectly healthy and happy. I’m happy being a stay at home mom. I don’t have carrier ambitions because I’ve been there and fed up with it. Kids are very expensive… any good stroller costs over $1000, cribs over $500, car seats over $400 and the list goes on and on. No wonder new generations can’t or want kids!
Amazing! Congratulations to you! I truly believe it’s meant to be. You & your spouse made the decision wanted the same thing and it happened!
Natural or IVF?
buy second hand?
I'm so glad I'm in good company! First child at 41 and last at 46. Natural and IVF. My husband and I has been there, done that. We're debt-fee, own two mortgage-free homes, vehicles paid off, college loans paid off and we are both engineers. We got the hard part out of the way first now are just enjoying our little ones. Our children are in no way a burden, they are blessings. No regrets waiting to start a family in our 40s.
This kind of sounds arrogant. I passed it by my partner to see if I was overreacting and they said, “they kind of sound full of themselves.” Firstly, I have friends who are Engineers in the Bay Area and they have very good positions, they could not even pay off their 2.7 million dollar home, they had a plan to sell in the future and retire in a different state. My husband made 600k and I was a stay at home mother, we couldn’t even pay off our mortgage. Now that we’ve sold our home, this is more possible, but we don’t run around telling people we have this and this paid off, especially with how many people are struggling these days. Good for you, but most of the world does not have a paid off mortgage at 40.. even hard working people who make money, unless the homes are very very inexpensive. “We got mortgage, college loans, two mortgage free homes paid off, cars paid off, look how amazing we are!” That’s what it sounds like. If anything, explaining to people that maybe you made money on a sale of a home and decided to purchase something else cheaper with cash, and that it took years to save, etc. you just go, look at how great we are, basically.
Op can't explain all that in this comment section. 🙄 Why are you so bitter? I'm broke, and not debt free but I saw her post as inspiring, maybe it's just your own POV .@@Shayne_T
@@Shayne_T I am sorry you think my post is arrogant. However, my point is that as a woman we are brainwashed to believe we have to get married and have kids as soon as we can to be validated. Nope, we don't. We can wait to get a higher education, build a career, especially in a male dominant field to get higher pay, pay off debt, and maybe marry. I was 32 when I married. By then I was a third time homeowner before marriage. Listen, I was raised by a single immigrant mother who worked two jobs to compensate for the absence of one parent. Somehow she managed to send her two daughters to college. My mother's hard work has inspired me to make good choices, including holding off having children until I was in a financial comfort zone. This is a choice most women don't think to do. It seems like everyone is struggling because mainstream media says so. That's not true. I'm not. And I hope a young woman reading this will see that she has a choice in becoming a mother when the time is right for her and not what society dictates.
@@Shayne_T Also, my sister is expecting her first child at 44!She married at 39. And I'm proud to say she is more successful than me.
@@Shayne_TShe doesn't sound arrogant. To me she seems sincere.
My mom had me when she was 45! And this was 1990! I love y’all ladies all of you ❤
My grandma was 16 my mum was 17 im starting at 35. I needed to heal some real trauma that comes from kids having kids. ❤
The truth in this… whew 😥
You will do great 🤗
My grandma at 19 and my mom at 15. I had my baby at 32. It provides healing and relief, yes ❤
True, Mothers of that generation had kids at that age, no one complained. Good luck with your pregnancy, you are lucky you will get all help from young and strong grandmothers, ;). 😸
@@derrickjoe1872 😂😂
I’m 52 years old . I’m praying I’ll be able to get pregnant this year ❤🙏🏻🙌🏻✝️🛐 Iam praying for a little girl !
Same pinch ❤❤
Ditto 💯
In Mexico city and Monterrey in Mexico there are great IVF clinics, they have a warranty program .....
😮
God bless you!
Same here
I had my 1st baby at 43 & Dad was 49, conceived & birthed naturally.
I’m a 31 yo single woman and this gives me so much hope
@@SA-lz1vxyou are still very young ❤
I had mine at 42 & Dad was 50. 2 years ivf. 1 miscarriage. Only worry is to die before he becomes a Self sufficient adult.
@saide-z2g All we do is be the best we can be for whatever time we have with our kids. Enioy every moment, make memories that will last a lifetime. I started a scrapbook that I want to give my daughter when she is 21. If I'm not here then, she will at least have photos & written memories from me. Noted in the book is things we've done already to be self-sufficient (little lessons) 💞
@@AudreyR458 😇
A reason rarely considered or discussed is the lack of a good supportive partner to have a child with.
Exactly! There are a lot of men who won't commit until they are in their 40s which means their partners are also older.
I know. Everyone seems to overlook this *essential* factor. Isn't it obvious? I would have already had children years ago if I'd been lucky enough to meet a suitable guy. I've only ever attracted flighty, immature, unavailable and lascivious men (the complete opposite of what I am). I'm slim (not curvy) and I dress conservatively, so I don't know why this happens. Where are all the mature (not old), committed men who have worked on themselves and who are interested in creating a family? Do they exist anymore?
@@ciarakristos111Unfortunately i had the same luck as you.I have one daughter,i gave birth when i was 30,now i am 34 .My partner was really immature, alcoholic, narcissistic and insulted me that i got weight and also he had mental problems.I broke up of course!You can't find these days a good man, because porn, social media have ruined them .
@@ciarakristos111 They do! Unfortunately, many of them choose not to be on social media. Maybe you find them (like myself, second husband) by chance, on a dating platform. 😉
This. Is not a joke.
40 years old 29 weeks pregnant with my 3rd. Healthy pregnancy . Healthy baby.
Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉🎉
My grandmom had her first baby before the age of 20 and her 11th baby when she was 50 and her eldest daughter had a kid by then. She thought it was menopause. She is 97 now, all her children are healthy and so is she with 25 healthy great grandchildren by God’s grace. No IVFs, no career pressure and no financial instability.
Are you malayalee?
Same with one of my grandmas. Had her first (oldest aunt) at 23 and youngest (youngest aunt) at 40. Also lived through her 90s.
And it's funny to hear people in the culture say it's too late to have kids past your 30s, when it was common back then!
I am 52 years old. I gave birth my first kid when I was 39 years old, because I was 2 years struggling to become a mother. Actually I lost my first pregnancy .
My second daughter was born when I was 42 years old.
I was born when my mother was 45 years old. !! She died when I was waiting my daughter, I was 42 years old.
My mother got married when she was 43 years old. She worked as a lawyer. So I learnt her experience. I met my husband when I was 35 years old. Sometimes we can´t decide in advanced what matters are going to happen in life.
I live in Argentina where the economy and life is hard, but here I am . My husband and I wanted to have 2 children, we love our kids although the difficulties. We went through difficult times but it is worth to be alive and sharing our lives together.
Blessings
😊❤❤❤❤
Yes! I noticed that sometimes people who have kids in their late-30s and early-40s also have parents who had them around that age. I always say whatever works for you is the right answer.
I like what you said. People assume that we don’t want to be pregnant earlier but some of us just had miscarriages, fertility treatments that started years, male factor. It is so unfair that it is like we just decided to get pregnant in our late 30s
All the best for you, I also had my son at 42 years old and I am now 54.
I had my first at 44 and my second at 46... I couldn't be happier, they keep me feeling young.
Hi @jenniferhorovitz2879 I am producing a programme for BBC Radio 4 and wondered if I might be able to speak with you regarding your experience?
Great.
❤❤❤🎉lovely
Naturally?
I need to ask you something...That was a high risk for u?....
I'm almost 40... and have waited my entire life to have children because I refused to have one without a good father to share in the adventure. Having come from a toxic family and spent most of my life surrounded by toxic people? I refused to have children because I didn't feel safe and knew the child would suffer...
I've FINALLY found the loving, supportive, and protective man I've always longed for only about a year and a half ago. We both want children, but there are a few other things we want to set in place first. Once we have our farm and I'm a naturalized Japanese citizen? We plan to marry and have our first child. I'll be in my 40s, but that just increases the chances of twins~ We couldn't be happier with the life we've chosen, both for us AND our future children!
It does not just increase the chance of twins,sadly. We do have a biological clock. Hope it works for you. Check your tubes
No one talks about this and it's a major reason. It's very difficult to find a good partner to start a family with.
@@marianemashkalo4182 I know. I was just trying to focus more on the positives.
@@aspiring... It's sad that it's not spoken of more often. It's not just women struggling to find good partners, it's everyone. Many still think that all they have to provide is money and a roof, because that's all that was required of them for the past few generations or they were taught that. Generational trauma has been passed down for a centuries and few are doing what they need to in order to heal from it so they can be decent people, much less loving and responsible parents. It's a major issue that's getting in the way of many individuals starting a family...
Hi there, I am 40 too and I am in my round cycle of medicated cycles, that is to say, fertility medicine. I had my first child at 34. My advice, please don't wait around for nature. Nature isn't that kind to the healthiest of us. Find a fertility clinic that can run hormone tests, sperm checks etc and set you on a path towards success. Also with doctor's approval you can start with prenatal vitamins, ubiquinol, Alpha Luponic acid. These can help improve egg quality. I wish you all the best.
I got pregnant at 15.Second at 18.
I am now nearly 41 and i can tell you if i had a baby now....mentally i would be more prepared.
But back then, i had a lot more strength and energy. I will not judge anyone. Good luck to anyones heart desires . 😊
I devoted all my life to studying and getting my degrees. My husband convinced me to have my baby and i am 46 and pregnant 35 weeks. I was terrified to be pregnant all my life and i was told it would have difficult pregnancy which didn't turn out to be true. Only now i feel some discomfort. So dont be put of by old statistics/information. Each woman is different. If you want to have a baby go for it and enjoy it as much as possible!
Hope it all goes well for you. It was obviously meant to be plus you have a good partner by the sounds of it. I’m 43 almost 44 and would love to have a 2nd child.
@@krishnagondhea7428 thank you very much. I hope you will be able to have your second child, sometimes miracles happen 🙏
Firstly congratulations of course 😊. Out of curiosity, did you obtain financial value out of those degrees and studies (I.e. remuneration worth all those years of study, instead of climbing the ladder from the get go) once you have successfully completed them?
@@Lucpol1986 thank you. Honestly no, climbing the professional ladder would have brought me more financial stability and can't say they did a significant difference, I admit though they added some value
I am 40 and just started trying for my first child, having finally found the right partner. I own my own home, have travelled the world, have a good career and have built up decent savings. I am so ready. ❤
Sums it up pretty well
Good luck. It will happen ❤
@@diopfifi4937 Thank you so much ☺️
All the best dear
I had my only child at 49 yrs old and as a single mum- no regrets it has been the best and most joyous thing! Of course I did have medical assistance - though started off without- the process took a few years due to this- advice- start as soon as you can!!! He is now 22 yrs old!
my best wishes for you!
This gives me hope. I'm turning 49 this year.
Congratulations
❤❤❤
I find that amazing having a child when one is 49 years old!
I have a 23 year gap between my kids. I had one at 20 and another at 43 No IVF, it’s been a lot starting over but what a gift from God! 😊❤
Both my great grandmothers had their last babies at 43 & 46. Big families were common in rural areas and children were considered a blessing from God. Don’t ever let anyone else’s opinions determine what you do or don’t do. Opinions aren’t facts and often misguided.
Last baby in your 40s is fine. But if society follows a pattern like Italy where the next generation also waits until late to have children, then one does not become a grandparent until 75-80 and is never really part of the grandchild's life. No more "Nonna", she'll be dead by the time the grandchild hits puberty. It's just sad, that's all.
@@melroc8566 but in the west with nuclear families kids also don't have solid relationships with extended family. Prior to birth control women regularly gave birth up to menopause at cca 50 plus life expectancy was much lower than today so many kids back then probably didn't have long relationships with meemaws either
Mine too :D
THE 70 YEAR OLD LADY THAT GAVE BIRTH TO TWINS IS IN UGANDA 🇺🇬 EAST AFRICA.
@@melroc8566 well it’s not meant to be to have a ‘nonna’ then. The best to do is to be a good mother to your own children to teach them good values and habits and anything else you believe that will help them become good decent people. This will filter down to the next generation.
Had a miscarriage at 37, conceived my daughter at 38. Met my husband at 34. Life took me there. I’m a better mum than I could ever be if I’d had my daughter at 28. I live in Turkiye btw, here the number of “geriatric” mothers is also rising. My grandma had my mum (her first child) at 18, mum had me (her only child) at 28, times are changing.
The term geriatric is misogynistic..as 75-80 plus is geriatric. The term should be changed.
Had my first at 42 naturally and everything went smoothly.
glad to hear this...im 41 and I feel a lot of fear and pressure around this topic...people telling me i need to hurry etcetc.... its very empowering and hopeful to read this :) thanks for sharing.
❤❤
So happy for you! I’m 42 and trying to conceive right now
😍
I’m 37, we still haven’t got a baby since we got married 12 years ago because of my husband’s fertility issue. We both love babies so much and hope we’ll also have a healthy and loving baby soon 😊. Pls pray for us too!😌🙏🏾 Love, peace and happiness for everyone!❤
The Lord Jesus Christ has already blessed you. The Lord has paid the price for Sin which includes sickness and disease. All you need is belief. God bless you 🙏🏽
@@nessa_a6052 Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers! God bless you!🙏🏾☺️
In Jesus name!!! Read abour vitamins that helps with fertility, need to clean your body (a lot of green juices if you can)..good luck.
@@clari6023 Thank you for your advice ☺️ God bless you ❤️
God shall grant your desire in Jesus mightiest name amen
The comments from older mums are very encouraging ..I’m 39 now, can’t afford to freeze my eggs and no potential life partner yet but I’m still hopeful
They say Chinese herbs make a big difference in women over 40. Traditional Chinese medicines. Need to take for around 3-6 months.
I got married at 39. Pregnant naturally at 41.
So, live your life to the fullest and no regrets :)
@@SilviaDevina-r7oThis is going to be a strange question, but were you ever on birth control?
Just go use a sperm donor! It’s worth it:)
Don’t worry, I didn’t plan it and got pregnant at 38, gave birth at 39 and then got pregnant 5 months later. Now I’m 40 and about to give birth to my second child. You’ll get there when your body is ready
I have several reasons to have my first son at 39:
1. Psychologically I was not ready to give birth until 35.
2. I did not meet the right man until 36
3. I have not saved enough for 1 year staying at home until 33.
4. The miracle did not happen until 2 year after marriage.
Now at 41, I have to healthy handsome boys. More tests were required for the 2nd pregnancy than the first, but everything turned out ok.
If I had my kids earlier, like in my early 30s or late 20s, I don’t think I can handle being a SHM well.
can you elaborate on the psychological part ? I am 35 I don't feel ready I was never in a relationship I have anxiety that might be the reason and people around me keep saying you need to hurry up and have children or you will die alone
@@suppernova1184 1. I was afraid of commitment so I thought of being a single mum. At the same time, I was afraid of raising a kid all by myself.
2. I wanted a kid of my own but I was afraid of labour pain, delivery complications and death during birth delivery.
3. I was not a happy person so I doubted if I could raise my kid to be a happy person.
4. I had not achieved the career goals I set in my 20s so I was reluctant to give up everything to be a mom.
5. I found myself awkward around young kids, like I did not know how to interact with them, so I doubt if I was really destined to be a mother or not.
@@suppernova1184 my grandparents had 5 kids and they died alone. have kids when you think you are ready to sacrifice everything for them only.
you only become mother after not before
I had my first baby at 32!! NO REGRETS!! I had a happy, healthy pregnancy. NO ISSUES. I’m glad that I allowed myself to mentally mature and achieve financial stability to be the best mother I can be!
I don’t think they’re talking about 32 year olds having a baby 😂 you’re the perfect average for the UK. They’re talking more about women who are beyond the fertility drop, I.e 35+ and far beyond. 32 is now considered on the younger end of the spectrum believe it or not
32 isn’t that old to have a child… fertility doesn’t start to significantly decline until around 35
You were still a young woman.Good that you thought things through before becoming a mother
I get what she wrote though. I’m in the US and they consider 30 to be old. Theirs a lot of pressure on getting married young and having kids in your early 20’s. Even when I dated it’s rare for men to think I’m 31 with no children. They think I’m a man lol or something is wrong with me. Only because I believe in marriage first and I value sexual discipline. It’s crazy I’m shamed because I’m waiting (I’m not a virgin, but if I’m not in a committed relationship no). And I’m still learning about myself. So congratulations to you on making that decision. I have many family members crying to me in their early 20’s because of how expensive it is or they don’t have a life. The guys they choice aren’t around. So I’m following gods plan and not my own.. Also some older men (who are divorced now) . People that married young are getting or are divorced by their 30’s so unfortunately those are the majority of men available. Most men have kids by now. But, many weren’t mature or knew themselves to get married. So men also pray on your biological clock. Making you feel behind. Thinking that I’m desperate to have kids. Sir lol I’m not desperate. I love kids and I volunteer to help with them. Lastly, I own a business and many wealthy people have their kids in their 30s and early 40s. Chose what life you desire and give it to god life your life.
32 is still quite young! You aren't an older mom:).
Had my first child at 39. I feel many women are delaying having children not as much due to fertility issues but coz of situationships wasting time
My father was born in 1932 and his mother was 35. Women have been having babies into their 40’s forever; it’s having the *first* child later in life that’s notable.
Thank you for your comment❤ I'm African and have seen women having children till they can't my whole life so I never understood where the having children over thirty is difficult and dangerous narrative came from... maybe society just doesn't like when women have the power and freedom of choice
Exactly it's having a first child at 50 that's bothering me. If they stayed at 37 and kept going until 50 it wouldn't both me so much. It's getting weird this fertility stuff. Playing too much with nature
I gave birth to my first child at 36 and my second one at 41. They are both happy and healthy girls. ❤
🥰😃
I had my daughter at 28. I thought I did everything right, finished college, had a career, and found a wonderful man who was also highly educated. However, I was tricked! He waited till I was 6 months pregnant to reveal what an abusive monster he was. I fled when my daughter was 9 months old. Now Im 47 and absolutely exhausted from the last 20 years and just want to be free from all the madness of doing absolutely everything. I just want to rest and conserve my lifeforce (if possible) into my 50s and beyond. It would be interesting to hear these women's experiences 20 years later after having children later in life.
This story is similar to mine. Had my child at 28 right after graduating college; her father abandoned us before she was even born despite previously ranting about how much he wanted kids. He pays child support but has provided literally nothing else other than blaming me for the circumstances being what they are. I lived with my abusive mother for 10 years while working full time and trying to save enough to move out, but covid and inflation made all of my efforts futile. I finally got married to a wonderful man last summer who has taken on the father roll, and I am currently a stay at home mom, and we homeschool, but that hasn't made things easier. I had to give up my career, my retirement, and my dreams. I keep hoping that someday, I can find the balance between my roll as mother and just generally preserving my energy and sanity for other life endeavors. I will say that I do sometimes wish that I had waited even longer to have a kid. When I got pregnant, the situation wasn't ideal, but I also felt like I might not get another opportunity to have kids, and looking back, I think that mindset was my downfall. If I had waited, I might have had a completely different experience as a mother, and many of the struggles that I faced as a result of not waiting would have resolved themselves. I would have been older, yes, but I also would have had a different mentality and probably more opportunities to find that balance that I crave now but cannot seem to find.
@@fairywingsonroses I feel everything about your experience, all your hard work, and the disappointments after sacrificing so much. I understand the feeling of wishing you would have delayed longer. But, at that time and given the circumstances you describe, most women would have felt like having a child was a great decision. I think that stories like ours demonstrate that no matter how much a woman prepares herself for being a mother, we are not in control what our partner does and the implications for their misteps can be an enormous burden on us. Adding on the challenges that come along with the unique issues women face in their older age would seem to compound this burden......but, may you reach your every goal and may you be able to rest comfortably in your sucess. 💜
Us older moms are much more easily capable of doing things ourselves and often we prefer it that way. I'm a self made woman, completely independent. I have my safety net should something happen to my health or life.
I hear you girl! Conserve your energy❤
Yes, we all should follow the natural law rather than setting the natural law by individuals intelligence
I just turned 40 and my baby is 10 months old. This video is about me.
I have a medical graduate degree then worked in my field.
The cost of child care and everything else in the USA is so expensive that the irony is I will be a stay at home older mom while my son grows for a while and when I have another child. Two is the amount I’d like and I’d be happy with just one.
Just got my baby at almost 40yrs. BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME❤ Yes I've wanted to become a mother earlier but i haven't found the right partner. My health is AMAZING❤ My baby is amazing❤ healthy, beautiful, perfectly developed ❤ But I do fasting, heavy metal detox, personal development,... I'm the best I've ever was😊 And i wanna have another child❤
Adopting ppl that want to be adopted is a good idea for many that are content with the responsibility and doesn’t require pregnancy
I’m happy for you enjoy ❤ I’m 44 and my youngest is 17 😂 I enjoyed them when they were toddlers such a fun time ❤
@@le3336then do it! But it’s not meant for everyone
Don't you feel tired caring for the baby
Bravo Katharina you give me hope
Ladies let’s be real. Economy, lack of fair opportunities, guys that aren’t responsible and the fear of being a single mother. The time and the tool it takes on your body. Society and predators, horrible postpartum care, horrible delivery care… I can keep going…
I agree with the economy. But if you think about it predators have always been around it is just we give kids access to that when they don't have to. The best Parents I see now a days are homeschooling their kids but they don't want to admit that takes a lot of resources in a way. My friend had waited till she was 39 to have some children and her partner was over 50. They had perfectly healthy kids it seems but he already retired so there ya go.
EXACTLY 💯.. The risk outweighs the benefits.
No thanks. The risk outweighs the benefits. That's why I opted out. It's not worth it.
I am so scared that I have a face being single mom, and I often worry if I can afford those things for her needs.
Exactly how many guys out there in their early 30's still afraid to have children...
I just had my first baby last July and celebrated my 40th birthday in December.
My husband and I now have a healthy, beautiful baby girl.
Everyone’s path is different, and honestly I wouldn’t have wanted ours any other way.
How are the nights for you? Im scared to bear a child because at age 40 you need to be sleeping well already. I feel old
I love the comments of older moms conceiving naturally. It gives me hope I could become a mom still 🤗 although I also made up my mind to settle with what my destiny brings. I will become a mom if that is actually for me. All is in God's hands.
if you are over 40, why would you have a child when you are almost gone? a 19 year old with a 60 year old mother is what you want?...
Same here. I made up my mind perhaps I wouldn't have a chance to be a mom, but at the same time I still have hope.
I had my child at 40 , now she is 8 and we are truly happy.
If l could go back l will do the same.
I did so much in my life and now l have still a lot of energy for my adventures child.
I wish the best to all mums of any age.
I’m 38 and know I’m going to be a late mom, I made the choice to take care of my body/mind and live a healthy lifestyle so that I can carry my child when that time comes ❤ reading these comments make me happy
My sister had her first child at 38, and the second at 41, both are healthy and intelligent.
Watching this with My daughter I had at 42
Me too…had my first baby when I was 39… conceived naturally..I had given up the hope of getting pregnant by then… I hope this gives some hope to women who are trying to get pregnant at a later age
glad to hear this...im 41 and I feel a lot of fear and pressure around this topic...people telling me i need to hurry etcetc.... its very empowering and hopeful to read this :) thanks for sharing.
I’m 37, dealing with infertility, 5 miscarriages, and even amidst my grief I often feel grateful it hasn’t happened yet. With every passing year I’ve gotten more secure, healthier and more healed of generational trauma. I think in my 40’s and beyond will be when I can be the best mum I can be.
Ayurvedic practitioner here. We help people with these issues all the time. You may need to balance your Apana vata. Reduce the vata in your body and pitta. It’s helps. Let me know if you want more info x
@@rcjacksonbrighton sometimes you really need to read the room x
@@Luckyforus686 not sure how I didn’t read the room? I’m offering caring support and hope. We see women all the time in our clinic who’s fertility journey completely changes with similar experiences to yourself. Surely that’s nice to hear XX
@@rcjacksonbrighton are you? Or are you jumping on people sharing their personal stories as a chance to advertise your services? You’ve commented on 4 different people, none of whom were asking for advice.
@@Luckyforus686 I actually help people for free. So there’s no financial gain for me. Imagine if you knew very clear ways of helping women with their fertility... life changing ways, and you kept it to yourself? You couldn’t. You would want to share with those who might need it. I spend most of my time volunteering to those who need it so you can be sure I’m not financially motivated. - If you choose to see it that way, and see the negative in it, then it only goes to confirm that you are probably holding too much Pitta/heat in your system. Honestly, it’s one of the main reasons why people struggle with fertility (the body not being a correct environment to hold the pregnancy) and it’s not talked about by allopathic medicine/modern medicine. If not from me, I would highly recommend you chat with an Ayurvedic practitioner near you and have a chat with them. Xxx
Women are not CHOOSING to have babies later. The society has pushed women to have babies late because it is clearly impossible to own a house, be secure and have a career at the age of 22 🤬 And I am not talking about women, I am talking about men who need to do this in order to become good fathers and that usually happens in late 30s or early 40s. That is why their partners/wifes can only have children at this age! I cant believe women in this debate do not realise this 🤯🤯🤯🤦🏻♀️
Man are having kids at 80 and no one is questioning 😅
Unfortunately they can reproduce all their lives.
Men are not going through pregnancy and nursing all that stuff. It is much more impactful for women’s bodies.
But I don’t think it’s good also for men to have kids this late, they cannot be really a participant in the kids life at that point. Can’t run, play soccer, pick up the kid , etc
I hope U have some Knowledge of the biological difference between man and Woman....
I hope you have some knowledge that losing a parent can cause harm to children. A man who fathers children at 80 and dies causes harm through loss of a parent.
Men fathering children at older ages increases the odds of some childhood cancers like leukemia, as well as conditions like autism and schizophrenia.
My mom had me at 23. She just wanted to fit in really not to become a mom at that age. She was a terrible mother to me, cold and avoidant, she was just never there for me. I had been sexually abused by a family member for 3 years on a regular basis and she just never found out when it occurred right in front of her almost. My grandma took care of me mostly. Mom had another child later in life and is just like a different person to him, she had him when she was ready to be a mother. Honestly, I'd rather have a much older mom who's warm and caring than a younger one who's been forever annoyed by your presence in her life. I'd love to take care of an older but warm and caring mom in return.
I can’t relate, however I wanted to wish you continued growth in your personal life. Glad you see right vs wrong
❤ So sorry to hear about what you suffered with your family.
I had my first at 22, we are very close and have amazing relationships. I know people who had kids at 35+ and don't have energy to play with them and explore the world together. It's very individual, some people will never be ready, but I enjoy being a young mom who can relate.
I am sorry that you had to go through some harsh experience. I hope you have now people in your life who love you and treasure you. My point is, yes, my mom was 21 when she got me and no, it was definitely too early for her. I remember my childhood as her being annoyed, stressed and overwhelmed by being a mother. I get a lot that being a mom after 40 is basically a crime and you should have a child at 20-25. And I honestly do not understand why. And as in your case, my grandparents were there and took over a lot. There were my best friends.
@@anastasiiapotapova6242 nobody is saying young moms are not good.
The point is that someone can be ready at 22, and someone may not be ready.
My parents met in their 40s, and I enjoyed a very energetic mother, because she was happy.
She danced Britney Spears dances with me, did make up sessions , would sing for me.... And she was in her 40s.
Same for my dad.
My mother was severly abused in her youth so if she would have been my mother in her 20s, I would have meet an abused depressed version of her, not really up for dancing or playing.
Human beings are not like a chicken or a cow. You cannot look at it from the purely animalistic things.
We have deeper things that afects us.
I am sure you and many young moms are awesome.
But for some people psychological preparation and a good relationship are not there and its way better to wait than to have kids and resent them, or create a dysfunctional family
Just had my first at 39, and she's perfect!
Sixties and seventies is too late I think, but I’d rather have parents who actually knew how to take care of themselves and were emotionally mature. My parents started having kids at 30, and I think that was the right choice. When they tell me about how they were at 22, 25, 27, I can’t imagine being raised by those people. They’re different, and dare I say quite irresponsible, people.
That a bit harsh I had my first one at 23, 24, and 27 and have been married now for 24 years and have dedicated my life to my children to say that parents in their 20’s are irresponsible is wrong. People have children when they are ready weather it be in their 20’s or later each to their own
@@daus6035 it's not wrong and it's more likely that a parent in their 20s is more immature than a parent in their 30s. This is not debatable. You can't even rent a care until you are 25 in the U.S... You aren't thinking critically.
I had mine at 16 ,you are very rude.
@@gillianmillington7735 My mom had a child at 17 and 35. Guess which child had the much better life and outcome? take a wild guess.
This is an important point. My parents had me at 23, they were still just babies themselves and made some serious mistakes as they just didn't have the emotional maturity to handle child rearing. They had my sibling when they were in their 30s and did much better as they'd grown up a lot. Our brains don't even fully develop until around age 25 so it seems sensible to hold off until 30 or so (for most people).
My Mum had me (her 3rd child) at 43 🤷🏾♀️ She and Daddy were patient, intelligent, calm and wise. I thank God every day for both of them - even as a child I saw the difference in mindset, time spent with me, disposable income and the morals we were given, to my peers (every single boyfriend and friend was jealous of me having the parents I had)
They were so accomplished in their careers and life experiences that I knew I could do and be anything, and deserved love, respect, kindness and romance from partners (and learned the blueprint of how to give all of that back) ....
Older parents rock 😂
❤❤ totally agree ❤❤
I had my first at 39, and have recently had my 2nd at 43. I agree with the fact that women place priority on growing their careers and taking time to find their life partner. I didn't marry until i was 37 and am pleased that I waited. I'm grateful to have also travelled extensively and relocated globally several times in my 20's and 30's and had all that experience before starting a family.
Smart!
THIS! Exactly!
Experience life before giving birth to another life.
agreed! Having a child later in life makes me feel like I'm not missing anything and I can focus on her 100%
ua-cam.com/users/PriyaPP7 I hope you're well. I wondered if I might be able to speak with you regarding a programme we are currently working on? Thank you.
Smart!!!
just take a look at how some* of us were raised by parents that were not/did not want to be parents and have terrible mental health and passed them onto our generation. I’m happy I waited until I was 33 even though I faced some fertility struggles. Life for children is better when you have a healthy and safe environment to raise your child in 💕
I’m pregnant with first baby at 39😏
Congratulations 🎉wishing you a healthy and safe pregnancy!❤
@@3questo699 Did she say it was? You seem to be projecting your own issues,
@@3questo699Quite so. Especially since life spans are predicted to jump 30 extra years due to AI solving diseases at a faster rate.
why
@@3questo699 it’s not a flex, it’s her real life 😂
I'm 38, 16 weeks, and having my first child. 😊
Prayed so hard for my almost 40 yr old son to find someone to start a family. He finally met an incredible woman who is 37 , she too always wanted a family but thought it wouldn’t come to her. They are now pregnant naturally and we are so over joyed for them. I had all 4 kids by 27 and married 40 years. Times have changed for sure ❤
There’s many more rules and laws protecting children! It’s not as easy as before. Having four children in the 80s was so different than now. That life is a dream now.
That is remarkable. What part of the world were they in? Midwest USA?
I am 39 yo and giving birth for the first time very soon (10 days left to due date). I am very happy. 😊 I was not ready to have kids until last year. I travelled extensively, I worked a lot, I dealt with my own traumas, I waited until my father passed away after a decade of Alzheimer. When my father was alive, my focus was him and his illness. My husband and I tried to have a baby for the first time last year, I was lucky to got pregnant easily, but unfortunately the first pregnancy ended in a spontaneous abortion during the 1st semester. It was very hard for me to realise that with age, more risks come up... We never talk about the higher risks of being pregnant after 35. 😢
🎉🎉🎉 congratulations!!!
I’m 42, pregnant with my 5th. Naturally conceived. Had my 4th at 40
What’s your diet like? Omg share your routine because I want to be that fertile
Very fertile ❤😂
5??????
Ffs 🤦🏼♀️
Congratulations. Wishing you all the best.
Ever heard of Overpopulation? So selfish smh
I am 41 and I have a breast cancer. I will never get pregnant anymore in my life, because of hormone therapy. Had my first child at 26, 3 years later my second one. It's important to have a baby when you are also in a top condition physically, not only mentally or financially.
SO happy you have two children. Good luck wit your treatment.
So it was meant to be that you would have both children before 30 and then your health dipped. Other women may have children later in life and still have good health physically. It’s the roll of the dice 🤷🏽♀️
So thrue most woman geth there hormonale inbalance by 40 so cancers start.
Its noth a game by thingking i have ith all and reproduce thath time, more twins are born ath older age and mingling with hormones,
A child is still a gift from God.
There is nothing impossible with God.He can heal u completely
@otubumaureenovakporaye1811 thank you, I am good.
Had my 2nd baby at age 41 🤷🏿♀️ I enjoyed my child free 20s and 30s. I have plenty of energy and my babies are healthy 🙌🏿 there are risks, but I don’t think the risks are as common as originally stated. We’re much healthier now as humans.
I have 42years old and pregnant.I have a good healthy in my check up ❤I m feel happy when I read this comment section 😊
My (27) mum had me at 44 (dad was 50), I was a happy surprise. 20 years difference between me and the next sibling. Congrats to all the mums in the comments! :)
There you go. And bet she was a good mother when you were growing up. It’s like you were meant to be born to her at that time. We are we to argue what nature Wills?
As an older mom, I'm interested in the child's perspective in having older parents. How was the experience?
@@ChooseU4ever Not the person you're replying to, or relevant to me personally, but one of my best friends is incredibly close with her mum, who gave birth to her (I think) at 41. She's the youngest of four, but they have the strongest mother/daughter relationship I know of. They're able to talk about anything and everything together.
@@mariannenlsn thank you for sharing.
I'm 19 years older than my brother! He was a surprise, too. I love him and he keeps us young:)
My mother gave birth to 12 children. All born and concieved naturally. She had the last at 50!
@Ayat78 Thanks alot for this information, I had this thought too, but you have confirmed it.
These ladies associating women in their 30’s with the word geriatric is part of ageism against women. Last year a 47 year old coworker had twins without any ivf treatment. A healthy woman who took care of her health so well throughout her entire life was finally in a healthy and safe relationship and nature just took care of the rest. People just get over it! With help or no help from science, society is changing and more and more women like my beloved coworker will be having healthy babies.
It's doctors who use this term to describe the mothers. Negative isn't it?
My mother had 4 kids in her 40s and my grandmother had her last at 52 and is 96 today. If you stay healthy you’ll have no issues with pregnancy.
@@queenprincess4life - yes, staying healthy and having a good chance (genetic record) of longevity means that having children in your 40’s or even 50’s is fine. Parenting is a risky business at any age, it’s just that the risks are different. Having them young means there is a higher chance of making serious emotional developmental mistakes in raising them because the parents are still immature. Having them later increases the likelihood of leaving them through death or burdening them with your own health issues before the child reaches maturity. If you feel you still have a good 30+ healthy and vital years left to devote to a child - go for it!
Women have been having children in their 30s & 40s for generations. In a lot of cultures it’s not taboo to have kids that age it’s considered a blessing.
I was called a geriatric Mother when I had my first and only baby at 30.
I was 34year old having my first. Im now 38 and hoping to make a little sibling for my boy. I find it very interesting when people are concerned about losing their freedom when having children. I have never had a more freeing experience other than the one of being a mother. I have been able to unlock myself in the most amazing ways, emotionally, and mentally. It was a beautiful mental process for me to improve as a person and to become a better human being. I have become unapologetic about the way that I feel about things, because I am working towards creating a better world for my children. I do not stay in silence to make people comfortable anymore. My priorities have shifted so dramatically that my entire personality has changed and I am so grateful that I can finally be myself because I have a huge purpose now. So if you’re on the fence about having kids, do not let the world fool you telling you that you will lose your freedom. You will find so much more about yourself and you will truly be free then.
My mom married at 34, she had me at 36. As a kid, people would assume that she was my grandma and I would always feel embarrassed and awkward. I was also a tiny bit envious that my classmates had a lot younger looking moms than my mom. But all of these feelings were just a phase. I love my mom so much. By Gods grace, she's now 74 and Im 38.
My mom had me at 32 and she had issues with getting pregnant so I was the surprise of a life time for her. My mother is the same age as your mom so its ok for a mom to be older. There are things in this world that are not perfect but I love my mom to death as well. In all honesty you mom was still pretty young in my opinion but I don't have kids and I am in my 40's and I would like a child but not sure that will happen for me though. So I have to be ok with that.
I had a comparatively older mother when I was at school too (compared to other kids' mothers), and I was self-conscious about it because she could have passed as my grandmother too. We also don't look alike. But I'm very grateful she's my mother and I'm grateful to have a mother, God bless her. ❤My mother married at 29 and struggled to conceive for about 7 years, until my eldest sister arrived. Then another sister until, lastly, she gave birth to me at age 44. 🎇
My mum had me at 35, now I'm 34, no kids and she's 69. I love my mum so much too.
My mom had me at 38. We had the same experience when we were kids, but like you said, It was just a phase. I love my mom so much, as she raised me without my father. She's now 70 and I'm 33. I only pray that she has a longer life so I can be with her more.
For those who consider marriage before children, I think that also is a factor. People are getting married for the first time later in life, thus children would naturally come later. I know marriage isn’t for everyone, but throwing it out there.
I had my two daughters at 39 & 42. Luckily no issues conceiving. I was a MUCH better, wiser mother as a result. I’d had my adventures, had a decent income & more flexibility. I was ready, relaxed, & mature. It was much better for my girls - they are now good, capable people. The planet doesn’t need us to populate like rabbits all our lives.
Seeing the positive responses in this chat has made me feel less broken about my fertility health issues and that there is hope. Xx ❤
The truth is that men also have the same big question about having kids, it is not only up to a wish to have kids, it is about creating a solid family. There is no right age, I am a mom in my 40s and I am happy that I found a responsible and supportive husband, I knew that I was not going to settle for less. If you are reading this, find someone who envision a family and not a culture target, if the government demands babies then they should invest in families, social issues, cybersecurity, safety, health care, parental leave, and continuously assess the issues trends.
The social economic pressures placed on people have been a menace to society and have brought a lot of fear, especially to our newly young challenged generation.
People will blame women for not marrying young and having kids at young age. But suppose a women married young, had kids young but husband was bad partner who abandoned them. These same people will blame women for choosing bad partner.
As a millenial with no children , I've been watching a lot of videos where the interviewer speaks to older people. Their greatest advice over and over is always to live life your way. Do the things that make you happy, versus living for others. You will never find fulfillment in trying to either conform or impress others, when much of society is unhappy with themselves anyway. Whether it be having a child, or not.. go slowly and intentionally in life and make decisions that feel intuitively right. That is a powerful gift we women have - intuition. May we choose to listen to it often and use this gift wisely :)
Preach 🗣
Yes!
Wait a minute, in this era where data shows most women are depressed or reliant on anti-depressants, you want everyone to keep following the advice that has been causing this? Good luck, world!
I just want to say thank you to everyone who have shared their stories!
I'm 30 and have a lot of health problems I'm not even well enough to hold a full time job right now let alone have a family. I'm doing everything I can to get better but the biological clock scares me. You're responses have really helped to reassure me so thank you again!
Please dear, don't worry yourself sick, focus on yourself first especially in terms of HEALTH, afterall it's the uptmost WEALTH! Also, while that should be at the top, try and look for the right partner, this ultimately determines how your future will be, look for the core values in a man , trust me, no matter what, with the right one, future battles will be half won.
I sincerely pray for Strength, Healing, Wisdom and Peace. Come back in few years time with ypur testimonies.❤
I wish you well and a lot of health 💪🏻 take care
May I suggest you to start charting your cycles. With the Creighton Model System. Love it!
Your body is incredibly smart and resilient! Give it a time, it will heal itself and let your dearest wishes come true! (Same here, biological clock thing scares shit out of me, have panic attacks time-to-time, but this is a socially-conditioned brain which is panicking).
If your illness could be passed on to children then don’t have them. It’s selfish and you’d be forcing suffering on your children. Foster or adopt instead.
My Dad was 48 years old when I was born. He had cancer three times when I was 8, 10 and 15 years old. He died 6 days after my 15th birthday and he was the only parent that raised me because my birth mom suffered from schizophrenia and lost full custody of me. As a result I had to be adopted by my emotionally and verbally abusive sister. Being raised by an older parent was very traumatizing to me because I also had to fear the day when my Dad would die and it still fucks me up mentally to this day.
Be courageous. Do not fear to suffer, try to say to yourself that you are here to fight, love and be strong. If we fear to much, we become weak and sick. Que sera, sera. Looking ahead!
Sending love and light your way. You are a strong woman. Please let go of the hurt and look ahead. I pray the future brings joy unlimited for you. And please forgive your parents, life happens, shit happens. Some people with really young parents also dealt with having sick parents or emotionally unstable parents. Love and light.
Reading these comments put a huge smile on my face. Im almost 38 and have no kids
❤ yes but dont relax coz time waits for no one. Pray & act on it. God will surely bless u.
Me too.
Same here girl ❤
Don’t know what y’all talking about. Since childhood I’ve known of women giving birth from early 20’s up to mid 50’s. Older generations had no contraceptive and no sterilization. You had siblings that could’ve been your parent. That’s way less common nowadays.
True. My great grandfather had a baby, (my grand aunt), when his (son), my grandfather had his first born, (my dad.)
All healthy.
Before the pill, most women gave birth until menopause so having children at older age was not a new thing. What is new is that people become first-time mothers in their 40s near the end of their natural fertility and some use IVF to conceive after menopause.
😂 welcome to social media and new age where everyone have opinion and at the same time forgets history.
It irks people that women are making choice to have children young. So obviously it angers some people and have to criticize women.
@@Dhyaam5989 Don’t think so (that they’re angered) necessarily. To me, it’s evident that nowadays there’s a very unnecessary urgency to be original and come up with something new, as if a look at the past is ignorance. So much renaming and/or “rebranding” popular knowledge, and wanting praise for common practices. Also, related to this topic, it’s so obvious the conversation is made to support a lifestyle that prevents women to embrace maternity as an aspiration early on.
At 44 I was most certainly an older mum.
It wasn't by choice. It took a while for me to get married again not by choice, I just was among the last to be picked of the shelf.
So I got married at 34 then battled male factor infertility for 10yrs and ended a mother of twins at 44
Congratulations it was meant to be. A double gift!
Wow , inspiring
I was born in 1950! My mother was 36 and my dad was 39. I was the oldest child, firstborn, and my brother was born 6 years later. Both were college educated and worked for airlines. So. This is nothing new, just more common than in previous decades.
I had my first two children in my early 20s, now trying again at 37! Prayers would be very welcome :)
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🌼🌻🌹
Miracle babies!!!
God is showing His Glory 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
With God, there is no such thing as it’s too late or impossible (Matthew 19:26).
It's God's glory only if it's proper husband and wife having a baby.Not lusty cougars having babies of adolescents
I had my first baby at 30, second at 32 and now again at 34. Every pregnancy was great, each baby was born naturally with no complications and are healthy. I love them so much. ❤
Sounds amazing! I would love this as well. Plus, I would like to add my fourth and last baby at 36. I am turning 30, have a house and a good relationship, finished university plus all the other courses and studies, wrote some books, traveled the world, and did everything I wanted to do before getting pregnant. The only big problem we are having is renovations. We live in Spain and everything takes such a long time.. Plus, we have been scammed by ´builders´ a few times already. Initially we wanted to wait until all renovations were done, but I just don´t think this is duable. My guess is at this pace it will still take 5 years or so.. I can´t wait for that.. My eggs neither..
Congratulations! But fertility is still good in that age bracket.
Congratulations! Can I ask what your diet is like and if you took any vitamins during pregnancy? I want to prepare as much as possible 💛
You’re not geriatric until 35 so you are not there just yet
I just had my son three months ago and I’m 39 (my daughter is two). I feel SO lucky because I definitely absorbed the cultural message that after 35 you’re old and your eggs are old and good luck. I accepted that a family might not happen for me when I had to start my life over at 28 when my intuition told me: No children with this man. I did so much healing in my early thirties and found a worthy, wonderful man. I wouldn’t change a thing about my life in my twenties because all of that experience and time made me a better person for my children who came when they were meant to be born-what a gift. 💝
This is encouraging for me. I am 32 now and I grew up like an orphan though both parents were alive but separated. Went through lots of mental emotional trauma at the hands of guardians and mother. I only started to heal in my late 20s when I was able to separate myself from them and live on my own. I don’t have a partner and I am scared so this was encouraging to read. Also apart from never having Met the right man I have also never have been financially ready for a child. I can barely get by by myself