The (simple) secret to being more likeable

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  • Опубліковано 8 жов 2023
  • Join the exclusive club rn: www.skool.com/ruff-club-6264/...
    Edited by Ruff and / lifesucksbruhhhhh
    All music used is linked below, PLS DONT COPYRIGHT STRIKE ME I NEED MONEY TO FEED MY CAT:
    (massobeats - honey jam: • massobeats - honey jam... )

КОМЕНТАРІ • 306

  • @sammykaleem4634
    @sammykaleem4634 9 місяців тому +715

    I think a guide on who’s worth being around would be useful, I feel like I can make friends easily but I want people of quality and all

    • @ItsMeRuff
      @ItsMeRuff  9 місяців тому +299

      to briefly ans the qn; it comes down to the cliche advice of having similar interests. so since we're improving ourselves and developing in all areas, we also want someone who's doing the same. you simply attract people who are like yourself; thats why celebrities usually make friends with and marry other celebrities and not normal people. thats why a nerdy video gamer wont slide into elon's dms. u generally make friends with people who are like you. so the only thing i can say is ask yourself what kind of friend you would wanna be around, write down like 10 or 20 qualities they have and then just ask yourself "what would THEY want in a friend?" and simply be that friend. when you become that person, you attract people like yourself.
      a note is to change up your environment so for example in class no one has a shared interest as me but on the basketball court im chill with everyone because we all have the same common interest (basketball). dont look for high quality people in low quality places.

    • @sammykaleem4634
      @sammykaleem4634 9 місяців тому +36

      @@ItsMeRuff Thanks for this, I appreciate it! It reminds me of Hamza's advice as well and I think it's pretty valuable, I think taking time to work on myself should result in it happening naturally if I change up my environment like you said, I'll definitely keep this in mind and try not to sit down alone studying all the time lol, touching grass is important

    • @ExtremeMCYT
      @ExtremeMCYT 9 місяців тому +9

      @@ItsMeRuffyou could literally just use this response as the script for you next video lol

    • @witnesstheskyi
      @witnesstheskyi 9 місяців тому +9

      @@ItsMeRuffmeanwhile ME who don't want friends anymore. Idk but they are just irritating sometimes, not understanding the self improvement stuff I want them to be a part of with me and just messing around like an idiot. ( we are all teens and it's time for us to built better habits to get ahead)
      I love my friends but in other way around they don't understand me so I kind of don't like them.

    • @mecigo
      @mecigo 9 місяців тому +9

      I don't have a paper so I will write it here if you don't care
      I wanna be around people that:
      1) live with God (Jesus)
      2) help me quit my bad habits (for example; being rude or vlugar
      3) are 100% truthful
      4) are socially evolved
      5) give me a reasonable challenges
      6) doesn't make fun of others
      7) motivate me to do something (together)
      **Note: I found only like 1 person that are like that (except for pastors)**
      //Note2: How can I be that friend for myself?//
      What would that person want in friend:
      1) the same as me
      2) support
      3) understanding
      4) forgiveness
      ((Yeah I want those things too))

  • @usubenidango
    @usubenidango 9 місяців тому +353

    I agree for the most part! I just think it was a bit sad to say “if you don’t have friends you’re not valuable” there’s people struggling with shyness and social anxiety out there, just because it’s hard for them to make that first approach, it doesn’t mean they don’t have value to give to others. They very likely do, they just don’t know how to do it yet.

    • @JerryO1995
      @JerryO1995 9 місяців тому +60

      And at the same time there's a lot of people who have many friends and their "value" is detrimental to others, the so called bad influences. It's just so wrong to speak of friendships as a product or business... Starting from that angle just makes every argument wrong from my point of view.

    • @usubenidango
      @usubenidango 9 місяців тому +19

      @@JerryO1995 I agree! While the mindset of wanting to spread value to others' life is a good thing, one must be careful to don't let it backfire, it can grow to the point where you become dependent of external validation, i've been there and it's not good at all. Also it kinda reinforces the false belief that valuable = entertaining, when that's not true at all. Some of my friends have super simple lives but i wouldn't trade them for anything in the universe.
      I learned that true friends are the ones who are willing to hang out with me when they can, but also respect it when i wanna take some time to take care of myself (and of course i'll respect their spaces as well)

    • @intercakefederation
      @intercakefederation 9 місяців тому +20

      I see it as him saying "you don't have friends, therefore you can't share your value. In other words, not valuable". I interpreted that as someone who is super socially anxious, hyper-neurotic, just starting to open up, and just starting to have close friends.
      That makes me relate hard, but despite how much I liked the video, I appreciate your showing of different opinion. You got me to realize how yucky it feels to refer to outgoing fun people as an interchangeable collective, and his video felt lesser than his previous work.
      Don't be a sheep, good job fella! We need folks like you who speak up when they have something to say in disagreement with the crafter.

    • @JerryO1995
      @JerryO1995 9 місяців тому

      @@intercakefederation I am also very introverted and socially anxious (not diagnosed but it's an issue to a degree), but I could make friends thanks to the Internet and sharing interests. I played a game, so I went into an online group of that game, there I met my first friend, then others, some came and went, and 10 years later I've got a great group of friends whom with I can travel and spend my holidays with. Some of us are less open than others, but that's fine, if you're comfortable around a person and they're comfortable around you, over time you'll become closer and more open to each other without having to force you to do anything out of the ordinary. It's the natural flow of good relationships.

    • @proxyshadow8429
      @proxyshadow8429 9 місяців тому +8

      You are definitely right! It's sad to see that these mindset and videos are common just shows that mental health awareness is lacking in society. There are many situations where people couldn't just "try harder" or "be better" to be liked. There are physical and mental disorders that obstructs some people to engage in social activities. Therapy and life coach is a way to go for mental illnesses, and resorting to search for a safe space on online media is one way for people with physical disabilities. People really need to normalize on seeking help from others rather than enduring pain that could not be shaken by themselves ❤

  • @Abhishek-wg9ps
    @Abhishek-wg9ps 9 місяців тому +261

    Do you agree
    Fear has defeated more person than faliure has.

    • @SomeCatFromFrance
      @SomeCatFromFrance 9 місяців тому +6

      This makes more sense than it should (in the sense that we should not be seeing this happen so much)

    • @EmergencyHotdog
      @EmergencyHotdog 9 місяців тому +1

      No

    • @jellymelon643
      @jellymelon643 9 місяців тому

      not to be that guy but it'd be a person or more people.

    • @VPshandlewasstolen
      @VPshandlewasstolen 9 місяців тому +2

      this quote actually goes hard, thanks internet stranger for hitting me with sudden realization

    • @Abhishek-wg9ps
      @Abhishek-wg9ps 9 місяців тому

      @@VPshandlewasstolen welcome buddy

  • @heretible
    @heretible 9 місяців тому +316

    Just to the teens scrolling through the comments. I did this sort of thing when I was 16, at 20 now I am trying to undo all the lessons this video teaches. You will get short term success like this. But friendship is formed through understanding people, and in this video the existence of "the charismatic guy" goes against that completely. You're closing yourself off to people, even if they like you, you won't like you, and eventually you won't like them.

    • @mohammedhatim3546
      @mohammedhatim3546 9 місяців тому +13

      real

    • @proxyshadow8429
      @proxyshadow8429 9 місяців тому +9

      Agree

    • @ren.8137
      @ren.8137 9 місяців тому +44

      Parts of this video are valueable still. The idea of living a life you find interesting and inviting others to join in is a great tip

    • @christian1403
      @christian1403 9 місяців тому +1

      Yeah i was fucking with this video heavy in the beginning but the more this mf talked about bending himself to have value to others, the "whole" tribe mentality. And the dude has a wierd ego thing going on, being so convinced that everyone would wanna hang with him.

    • @ranaccigloria2694
      @ranaccigloria2694 9 місяців тому +2

      Nice input

  • @Yourunit
    @Yourunit 9 місяців тому +155

    I just came from your discipline in 5 minutes vid and i just had to stop and comment youre now my favorite youtuber and i love your message, please dont stop doing what you do homie, much love

  • @lightyr
    @lightyr 9 місяців тому +181

    Making friends is like business, it's supply and demand. Most people want to be friends with charismatic and funny people (demand), but most people aren't like that, and that what makes the "interesting" people so special (supply).

    • @heretible
      @heretible 9 місяців тому +38

      I disagree, the moment you start seeing friends as a set of traits, you lose sight of the bigger picture, that they're supposed to be people that put you at ease to be around and who feel at ease around you. Trust me I've done 4 years of Econ and none of the people studying supply and demand are friend experts

    • @zekiz774
      @zekiz774 9 місяців тому +5

      I completely disagree with you on that. If you see friends like that, you aren't their friend. Friends are people you want to be around with. They don't need to provide any value except maybe being there.

    • @Crude_Templar
      @Crude_Templar 5 місяців тому +1

      @@zekiz774 But that itself is value. Being there for someone, and enjoying your time with another relates to their value. I think that most people are taking this video in the wrong way. Yes, having an interesting life would be valuable, but value can come in more subtle ways. You don't have to see someone as a mechanical set of traits but improving you life with their presence is the point of the video as that is value. It just doesn't stand out as much as being charismatic and highly interesting for new friends. But small factors such as mutual interests and experiences can provide a good relationship, although such interests and experiences that you share with another is value. It may just be that the word has an awful taste in this context of high value but we only prefer things that hold value to us, not without reason.

    • @omniyambot9876
      @omniyambot9876 4 місяці тому

      I like this discussion guys

  • @doggo347
    @doggo347 9 місяців тому +90

    it's just like "if you're useless, no one likes you"
    day 1 of asking ruff to be my friend

    • @zealouslyguy
      @zealouslyguy 9 місяців тому +14

      Day 1 of replying to this comment

    • @jellymelon643
      @jellymelon643 9 місяців тому +5

      lol can confirm, got fricking sidelined because my group thought I was useless so now I'll have to film a project by myself

    • @depotemkin
      @depotemkin 9 місяців тому

      ​@@jellymelon643:(

    • @doggo347
      @doggo347 9 місяців тому

      damn 69 likes

  • @Bobbyjitrockey
    @Bobbyjitrockey 9 місяців тому +42

    If it disturbs your peace leave it .
    I don't care how many friends you got. Quality matters more than quantity. A good friend who always wants good for you is 100x more good than having fake friends who only want to do parties .

    • @nikita.S
      @nikita.S 16 днів тому

      When did he exactly talk about parties? He speaks about sharing his positive and fun lifestyle (physical activity in the sun) with other

  • @RumbleIOS
    @RumbleIOS 9 місяців тому +12

    This is the same mindset I had after lockdown. Lockdown made me realise that time is running out and life is short to be worried about what ifs and go on. It was fun all along but I didn't know my boundaries it was exhausting sometimes it was lonely sometimes but hey I got a lot of experiences. You are smart going and best of luck ruff

  • @AyatoKamisato007
    @AyatoKamisato007 9 місяців тому +56

    Thank you so much Ruff,
    You probably dont even know how much value you've provided to me from your videos...
    From being a low class, miserable, 'uncomfortably fat' attention seeker...
    To someone who values his own life.
    All I lacked were friends...
    This video feels like you're answering my distress calls.
    "I'll provide value to be a valuable person"
    Thank you RUFF!❤

  • @Chicoyo2
    @Chicoyo2 9 місяців тому +41

    When u said, “Would u even want to be friends with yourself?” I said, “F*ck no.” My routine is waking up, meditating then going for a run. I go to school. Then I go home and finish hw. Lastly, I walk my dog and watch a series with my mom and I meditate then go to sleep. I do want to have a more interesting routine then this and have more fun. I do want to make more friends but I’m honestly picky with friends because not a lot of people are into self-improvement and idk ig I just don’t vibe with a lot of people. I probably feel that way because I don’t know where to even meet new people. I’m not even sure tbh. Does anyone have advice?

    • @kimnahar
      @kimnahar 9 місяців тому +2

      Yeah fr but if you played ex valorant put it in your story you classmate find out the play with him you got a friend but still I knew it's waste of time maybe no friends is better 🤷

    • @usubenidango
      @usubenidango 9 місяців тому +26

      I think my humble advice is: don’t rush. Just the fact you’re able to go to school, medidate, do homework, spend time with your mom and your dog, that alone is very valuable, because it means you’re taking proper care of yourself and of those close to you. Which, by itself, means you’re shaping up to be a person of quality and therefore a great friend. I’m sure when you least expect, you’ll be able to make new friends!

    • @christian1403
      @christian1403 9 місяців тому +12

      there is literaly nothing wrong with the way you live your life, i swear this whole self improvement thing can make ppl crazy

    • @purpledoodle06
      @purpledoodle06 9 місяців тому +3

      Maybe try not being so arrogant about self improvement? Look, it’s good that you’re doing all that, but the thing is, you cant force people to do the same things as you cuz self improvement takes time and dedication. Also, maybe they’re doing the same thing in silence. You’re just judging them too soon 😂 just hang out with people, don’t judge them too much, but also don’t get sucked into bad habits. Let them see how good your lifestyle is so they just follow.

    • @ryzeno8705
      @ryzeno8705 9 місяців тому +6

      Why does ur friend have to be in self improvement? I'm somewhat in the same position as u but I wouldn't exclude a person from becoming my friend because they don't follow the same path as me

  • @ItsColbyWallace
    @ItsColbyWallace 9 місяців тому +8

    Thanks for the video Ruff. Your videos have come so far since you first started and it’s been amazing to see how far you’ve come

  • @nochukiki
    @nochukiki 9 місяців тому +7

    Thanks for the video!
    I’ve never thought about providing value, always thought i just wasn’t interesting or loud enough. I always worried if I was approaching and interacting with people correctly, but now i understand that I can actually make use of my flaws to do that, instead of trying to rid them to be someone else.

  • @user-vk4qf5ug3e
    @user-vk4qf5ug3e 9 місяців тому

    Your video poped up on my feed and gotta say this has been one of the best recommendations youtube has given me in a while, love your point of view and how you just be real with us, more of us young guys need to hear from you and step up in our lives. keep it up brother

  • @proxyshadow8429
    @proxyshadow8429 9 місяців тому +30

    This guy definitely doesn't take account of people with mental or physical disabilities. Imagine a terminally ill person that literally could not leave the hospital watching this and being called a "person that has no value". Imagine a person with social anxiety or neurodivergent disorders that just have symptoms of things such as not being able to focus on conversations or understanding people's emotion. What they need is therapy to betterment their behavior with conditioning and that is something that couldn't be fix just by "try harder" or "be better" which these "modern age sigma woke" mindset suggest. If anyone reading this does struggle with socializing, please don't hesitate to seek help from therapy 😊❤. If you are in a situation where you couldn't physically meet others, I'm sure you can find a safe space in online medias to socialize such as discord or vrchat 😊.

  • @ItzJuzGREY
    @ItzJuzGREY 9 місяців тому +67

    This guy always knows how to come up with a unique content each time which actually provide much more info in less time than any other youtuber I've seen. Thanks for your support fr

  • @rayandrew964
    @rayandrew964 9 місяців тому +2

    Always such a vibe watching your videos man. Thanks for the great advice.

  • @goodboi1725
    @goodboi1725 9 місяців тому +22

    Thanks for conveniently answering a question I've struggled with a while for this year. Asked myself how I could be a more approachable friend, and I guess I'm tired of being the 'errand boy'. Whether it be with certain subjects in class, or just doing basic tasks, I yearn for a deeper connection somewhere with friends that I share hobbies with. Showing vulnerability is another issue I'm try to deal with, because my face is stone cold even when I'm on the verge of breaking down. I guess my goal is to get past those awkward attempts at conversation and just be someone that can be trusted to talk with about anything.
    Sorry about the short essay, but I think typing this out helps me let go of some worries.

    • @Chicoyo2
      @Chicoyo2 9 місяців тому +5

      Dude that’s good that you’re writing how you feel. Every morning and night I write down what went well and what didn’t go well and just how I felt. Journaling helps release emotions so you don’t hold them.

    • @goodboi1725
      @goodboi1725 9 місяців тому +2

      @@Chicoyo2 Yeah, I have tried journaling whenever I had time after a long day and it's nice to put personal thoughts into writing. Though, writing this publicly feels more like giving feedback, which is another nice feeling. Thanks for writing though.

    • @palansshrao2865
      @palansshrao2865 9 місяців тому +1

      Don't worry dude you are not alone everyone goes through a similar phase in life like you just don't lose hope and keep being the best version of yourself and good people along with good things will follow

    • @goodboi1725
      @goodboi1725 9 місяців тому

      @@palansshrao2865 Thank you. I don't know how else to put it really. I can only be patient at this point, wait for senior year to end. God damn is it stressful to be so near the finish line.

  • @mooran
    @mooran 9 місяців тому +6

    "If this is all you do, would you even want to be friends with yourself"
    Those words hit really hard ngl

  • @Bobbyjitrockey
    @Bobbyjitrockey 9 місяців тому +6

    For me
    I am only noticeable when there are less people around me like 2-3 once I am in the crowd (group of friends I don't talk that much) I am lost.
    Nobody to talk or do something.
    But I don't care about it anymore .
    I have already adapted myself to be lonely.
    Just gotta make my family and myself proud.

  • @Nerd0.09
    @Nerd0.09 6 місяців тому

    Recently found your channel,your content is actually good and helpful.The fact that we have expectations from everyone ig is what holds us back from making friends.

  • @Rev3rse_PL
    @Rev3rse_PL 3 місяці тому +1

    "Would you want to be friends with yourself" hit hard I aint gonna lie

  • @dramaticviky
    @dramaticviky 9 місяців тому +10

    Taking that guy as a figure of inspiration is wild bro

  • @storyspice974
    @storyspice974 9 місяців тому +5

    I’ve always been that guy who provides value almost my whole and yeah was definitely popular and seen as very charismatic, but I learned is people will take advantage of you and you will attract narcissists who will try to destroy your life, and now I want to be left alone because I no longer care about making friends. It is not worth it anymore if it’s only one sided.

  • @XPurplepinappXlolX
    @XPurplepinappXlolX 9 місяців тому +64

    Ruff: I’m no Andrew Tate, I’m not this inspirational person ppl want to look up to
    Me: has watched almost all his videos, is taking notes, is wondering how he is so smart and such a cool solid dude 😂

    • @intercakefederation
      @intercakefederation 9 місяців тому

      Well if you saw em all you shouldn't be wondering, aye?

    • @bboyscsoreal
      @bboyscsoreal 9 місяців тому +16

      Who the hell would even look up to Andrew tate

    • @britishningguang3933
      @britishningguang3933 9 місяців тому

      @@bboyscsoreal red flags

    • @emilie3907
      @emilie3907 9 місяців тому

      same! I honestly aspire to be like him

    • @anushkashinchan3001
      @anushkashinchan3001 9 місяців тому +2

      ​@@bboyscsorealpissy people who want to live in a Wattpad Mafia fanfiction

  • @suikaberrii3251
    @suikaberrii3251 9 місяців тому +14

    I like how straightforward you are! Though it does make me sad since i have social anxiety and the littles thing like walking to a store from across the street literally gives me a panic attack, and whenever i try interacting, my voice would be so low out of my control to the point theyll have to ask several times about what i said before they even reply, giving me bad memories about socializing.. which makes me avoid it.. it just becomes a cycle, though currently i am becoming better, i tried starting a conversation, and though it became quiet and awkward in the end, it gave me the confidence to do better! So what im saying is, the video here is definitely not for most ppl still suffering from intense social anxiety- and shyness, etc as i once did, work on yourselves first before coming back to this video, my #1 thing to find motivation in improving myself is ask what i want in my life-- first it could be simple like be popular or have friends. Though i would recommend practicing self love along the way of trying to achieve this goal so you wont just stop along the way, my no1 factor for not even starting on improving was the fact that i had severe self hatred, so def work on that too if youre the same as me.

  • @vnye1048
    @vnye1048 9 місяців тому +2

    yayyy ruff drop!! i look foreword to these every week, thank you ruff

  • @FluffyBuffy27
    @FluffyBuffy27 9 місяців тому +8

    I have realised this truth for a while now but you have to be careful. It is very easy to be consumed by "I'm not providing enough value, I need to step up my game", and then what happens is you start trying too hard and your friends pick up on this. Remember... a lot of your greatest value that you give to others you are not aware of nor have any control over. This fact will hopefully stop you from trying to hard as to disadvantage yourself and potentially bring you some piece of mind if you ever get stuck in this dangerous loop.

  • @nehptiv
    @nehptiv 9 місяців тому +1

    how do you always make a video for my current situation like tysm

  • @PetDKK
    @PetDKK 9 місяців тому +1

    Thank you Ruff!! This is SO helpful 🥹❤

  • @ItsJanMV
    @ItsJanMV 9 місяців тому +11

    "Treat others in the same way you want to be treated"
    -Take Action

  • @mr._joshi02
    @mr._joshi02 9 місяців тому +1

    Ruff u're the best dude, i love you for making this kind of content

  • @tsw9918
    @tsw9918 9 місяців тому +6

    So easy to listen to, vibes immaculate as always

  • @witnesstheskyi
    @witnesstheskyi 9 місяців тому +2

    I'm already following this guy.......bro YOU always get me through the confusions in my head!
    WAY TO GO CHAMP/////

  • @sotaro_v1
    @sotaro_v1 6 місяців тому

    I thought you read my mind, the only reason why you're the only person I watch is how relatable you are. Got scared for a sec, keep up the grind :)

  • @leif909
    @leif909 9 місяців тому +8

    Me who doesn't care about making a single friend in school:
    *watches anyways*

  • @kreskin_b
    @kreskin_b 9 місяців тому +29

    if you have an interesting story to tell, everyone and everything captivates around you

  • @brandonborlaza9205
    @brandonborlaza9205 9 місяців тому +8

    You give off the same energy as my cousin shitting on me for having that loser mindset but also give me genuine advice at the same time

    • @SVAgxlxxi
      @SVAgxlxxi 9 місяців тому +2

      all i’ve heard from this video is that i’m a fucking loser and i’ll never have hope

  • @takedown5680
    @takedown5680 9 місяців тому +6

    I just came across this video and I haven’t even watched it but you are likable. At the end of the day not everyone’s gonna like you. It’s unfortunate that no one sees that you’re likable. Everyone appreciates I kind and caring person so if you have those two characteristics I’m sure that you’re already a likable person. Just gotta get people to see it

    • @takedown5680
      @takedown5680 9 місяців тому +2

      See I’m halfway through the vid and I don’t like two lines. “At the end of your life what are they gonna put on your tombstone” a lot of your audience are teenagers or young adults so I don’t think expecting them to know what they want on their tombstone is a good way to get the point across. “Everyone has to serve a purpose” “without providing any value themselves”. I don’t like these line’s because again your audience is mostly teenagers. I believe the video should be more focused on someone’s character more then the assets. Are you nice? Are you fun to be around? Some people just aren’t social butterfly’s. I fully agree with if your doing something fun then people will inevitably come to you but to say that something someone enjoys has no value just because it doesn’t attract other people is wrong in my opinion. I just wanted to give my opinion it’s not hate👍

  • @Marasma
    @Marasma 9 місяців тому +4

    another diamond in the ruff banger

  • @serioussushii8652
    @serioussushii8652 5 місяців тому

    i think the message that you are trying to imply does go both ways. I've experienced this before. I've seen people change themselves just because they want to attract a certain someone and then completely forget about who they initially were. when i ask them why, they go, "because this person interests me, and they are what i aspire to be,"
    when i first heard this response, my immediate thought was, "then why did you change yourself? why did you make yourself more toxic when in reality you should've been you, the real you. the 'you' who is a good person and is naturally astonishing overall". i think that your message truly means that you must change yourself for the good, but you shouldn't give up on your true identity. yeah sure, you give up on the bad habits, but you shouldn't get off from the real you. this changes the whole equation of attracting people and making friends overall. so i think it was a great way to express this concussion to the viewers. great job!

  • @ItsYusha
    @ItsYusha 9 місяців тому

    Your channel is sky-rocketing bro ✌️

  • @gundrathwyatt
    @gundrathwyatt 9 місяців тому +3

    More screentime for cat plsss

  • @peteraivan3555
    @peteraivan3555 7 місяців тому

    its 1 day before my 5 month progression in self improvement, i remember the day when i randomly watched your vid and that was the whole starting point for me. i cant thank you enough

  • @ImUltimatee
    @ImUltimatee 9 місяців тому

    Thanks for this video man this really helps.
    Also, can you make a video on always having to text first? I have a lot of close friends but I always have to initiate texts first

  • @nikitaprem494
    @nikitaprem494 9 місяців тому +18

    I don't have a problem making friends, I'm friends with all my classmates. But the problem is that I don't have a specific group of people I can call my close friends. Everyone else is part of a "tribe" and I'm the one that hangs around with them every once in a while. What do I do about that?

    • @siibeiisiian
      @siibeiisiian 9 місяців тому +4

      There's nothing wrong with not having any close friends. I dare to say in my years of living Im unable to label someone as my best friend. There's only so much you can do in a friendship sometimes since it works both ways. Just do whatever makes you happy.

    • @purpledoodle06
      @purpledoodle06 9 місяців тому +3

      The thing is, gaining best friends take time. It takes years, and the effort of staying connected. I noticed that with the younger generation, they want things in an instant. Even relationships. Let things flow, exert effort in hanging out, and let them also do that with you. It might seem awkward at first but the only way to gain relationships is to start by approaching people, and hanging out with them.

    • @kiihole
      @kiihole 9 місяців тому +2

      bro i relate to this on another level 😭 i also have a lot of friend groups or “tribe” i switch in and out of every now and then. even so, i’ve found a few close friends i can speak to and trust. it really just takes emotional vulnerability and being there at their worst and best to develop an interpersonal relationship with others. like other ppl said it’s okay to be doing your own thing, to have ur own private time to yourself but having others to tackle life with and to be able to rely on is an amazing feeling!!

    • @MyGlowingEra
      @MyGlowingEra 8 місяців тому +2

      Me too, i vibe with almost everyone and i like to talk to them. But what makes me feel so lonely is that i don’t have anyone that i can connect more deeply with and that is what makes me feel so lonely. I have nobody that hugs me when i feel sad, nobody that tells me how worthy i am.. yes sure i tell my self how amazing i am but that doesn’t hit the same :((

    • @willywilliamwonka9116
      @willywilliamwonka9116 5 місяців тому

      I have the exact problem too I'll update and try to find out

  • @Deadsoul5954
    @Deadsoul5954 9 місяців тому +6

    Dear ruff , please make video on these topics...1.how to become a morning person from night owl 2. how to ignore negative environment when you're a asian kid (belongs to conservative toxic family) & at the same time you don't get the permission of leaving your home before college 😔

  • @Yuki-Mura.
    @Yuki-Mura. 9 місяців тому +7

    I made too much friends that I'm not sure who really are my friends or who I can actually trust/spend time with

  • @CasterRational
    @CasterRational 9 місяців тому

    I gotta say, thank you so much your absolutely amazing and such a role model. I truly mean this, thank you, godbless.

  • @raii3741
    @raii3741 9 місяців тому

    Love your content man . Keep it up

  • @Sarabanana5678
    @Sarabanana5678 8 місяців тому

    Damn man! I love you! Thanks for this!

  • @derogaytoree
    @derogaytoree 9 місяців тому

    this is simply my favorite video from you

  • @user-go3qs7zb4k
    @user-go3qs7zb4k 9 місяців тому

    this is my favourite ruff video ever

  • @abdullahalsami3613
    @abdullahalsami3613 9 місяців тому +1

    Indeed you"re like a saviour to me . Thanks Ruff

  • @mrhiguy9056
    @mrhiguy9056 9 місяців тому +1

    This hits different on 11 pm

  • @neelpimpalkhute5242
    @neelpimpalkhute5242 9 місяців тому +6

    Every NEET and JEE aspirant watching this is getting dissed in this video because all we do is study for 12 hours a day.

  • @RikoPsycho
    @RikoPsycho 9 місяців тому

    From my experience with past friendships, it's on my part for leaving the relationship because I outgrew them

  • @spice3278
    @spice3278 9 місяців тому +1

    this video made me feel that something is wrong with me tbh, because when you said "would you want to be friends with yourself" i said yes since my routine is: waking up taking a shower go to school(also do homework in the morning) take my daily guitar lessons run then make beats at home then make art then if i somehow have time i watch videos or play video games if i somehow have time but probably not or read a book. yet... nobody wants to be Wouldmy friend :( yes people randomly talk to me but i suck at normal conversation and sometimes get panic attacks when people talk to me :( but sometimes those same people would harass me which is why i dont want to be near most people. and when i used to be social people would ignore me or shut me out so i guess im not likeable then and its not worth trying to talk to most people no more.

  • @KeidiCultured
    @KeidiCultured 9 місяців тому +1

    Man, i just love you.

  • @Raydon.kimunguyi
    @Raydon.kimunguyi 9 місяців тому

    Thank you so much Ruff

  • @sanjeevan6737
    @sanjeevan6737 9 місяців тому +3

    I wanted to make a youtube channel just like yours and I am so happy that the dream came to a reality and has been executed well! :)

  • @musaiesa9218
    @musaiesa9218 7 місяців тому

    This man is GEM✨

  • @deekxsha
    @deekxsha 9 місяців тому +1

    Hey thxx for the advice!
    But where do get all these advices from?? books? life experiences?

  • @FactsWhiz_
    @FactsWhiz_ 9 місяців тому +1

    This couldn't on a better time for me.

  • @Giga_Chand
    @Giga_Chand 7 місяців тому

    this is my teenage alternative to brother Hampton from hybrid calisthenics its helping me reshape my own identity and get started as a better person.

  • @silenskie6210
    @silenskie6210 9 місяців тому +1

    Thank you so much Ruff, this means a lot to me...

  • @locketsammy
    @locketsammy 9 місяців тому +12

    i think your target audience is males but as a girl, you're probably the best self-improvement channel i follow
    i unsubscribed from everyone else too because you give all the information that they do but you do it better somehow

    • @lukiia9854
      @lukiia9854 9 місяців тому +9

      Definitely a better role model for men than andrew tate lmao, but his advice is definitely a lot more universally applicable too!

    • @locketsammy
      @locketsammy 9 місяців тому

      @@lukiia9854 yep and the fact that he explains things efficiently in a lot less time

  • @johnchristoffeortega4189
    @johnchristoffeortega4189 9 місяців тому +2

    This guy is winning in life

  • @devvv4616
    @devvv4616 9 місяців тому +1

    sounds tiring. I don't have a ton of friends, but the few that I have was made without thinking about all this stuff. They just liked me for who i was and vice-versa. The same with my family. I'm not out here judging my siblings and cousins for what 'value' they have and I hope they don't for me as well. That's such a 'transactional' way to live

  • @SVAgxlxxi
    @SVAgxlxxi 9 місяців тому +3

    ur just telling me i’m still a loser, doing that isn’t going to help it’s only gonna make it worse for my mental health and others too

    • @notherepim
      @notherepim 6 місяців тому

      Don't listen to him, a therapist would never say or agree with such statements, keep going you'll be fine, i hope it gets better and try talking to someone.

  • @ladymint
    @ladymint 9 місяців тому

    Made my day!

  • @altpoilt778
    @altpoilt778 9 місяців тому

    I used to be like this at 11 but became an introvert at 12. Thanks for helping me!

  • @goofycit0
    @goofycit0 9 місяців тому

    ruff is now Ruff

  • @diveintocomfort
    @diveintocomfort 9 місяців тому

    10/10 for the cat fancam

  • @trishamaria8629
    @trishamaria8629 9 місяців тому

    Bro just single-handedly answered all my questions as a freshman 😭👍🏼

  • @aperson-zj5to4yb5t
    @aperson-zj5to4yb5t 9 місяців тому +1

    r.i.p knees

  • @-ethan-5719
    @-ethan-5719 9 місяців тому +10

    The reason why i am quite lonely, it's also bc im struggling with starting a conversation somehow
    Like, whenever i have something to say, it always ends with a small talk. I wanna have meaningful conversation in order to have a great friendship with someone,
    But, usually i always fail at it.. i wonder if there's something im missing at, i used to be good at starting a chat, but now I just legit forgot how to. How do I make them feel at ease? How do I make them feel interested? How do I stop being so awkward?
    Literally the struggles of a socially awkward person 🤷‍♀️

    • @trixie_likes_shipping
      @trixie_likes_shipping 9 місяців тому

      Same

    • @takiemakiex
      @takiemakiex 9 місяців тому +2

      Hi, I think your goal should not be making them interested in you instead become more interested in them. Like for example you wanna become friends with someone, you first need to know what they're interested in and listen carefully on what they would say and literally ask them more about it. People like talking about themselves especially their interest and you should be taking advantage of that and become genuinely interested in them. Remember "become genuinely interested in them" it must come from the heart not mind.

    • @-ethan-5719
      @-ethan-5719 9 місяців тому

      @@takiemakiex ohhh, no wonder your advice seems familiar. Thanks for the advice!!
      Hmm but i wonder if their interests is something that I'm not quite fond for example? what should I do? 😅

    • @takiemakiex
      @takiemakiex 9 місяців тому

      @@-ethan-5719 Then you're not genuinely interested in them.
      Learn to first become interested on whatever their interest is. I'm not asking you to force yourself to become interested in their interest, just do your best to become interested in them haha

    • @-ethan-5719
      @-ethan-5719 9 місяців тому +1

      @@takiemakiex okayy, now i get it
      Thank you sm for the advice once again!

  • @miguel-557
    @miguel-557 9 місяців тому

    my reputation in school has been fucked by false information though that's why I have a hard time making friends; with the method of being the one to initiate it would likely only make my reputation worse because they would be to their friends like "oh you know _____ approached me a while ago lol such a weirdo"

  • @theantihero27
    @theantihero27 4 місяці тому

    the thing is, i am naturally an extrovert..like i hv it all, charisma, wittiness, social skills etc..but my only issue is that "they" need to approach me..kinda like 'dont chase, attract'..and it rarely works..most of the time, i just sit next to ppl and start talking, and it builds up from there, but thats also it very rare situations

  • @Amie-lp6og
    @Amie-lp6og 9 місяців тому

    Uhh when you said give me a kiss at the end 😂😂😂

  • @Zenn.zen.07
    @Zenn.zen.07 9 місяців тому

    Thanks Ruff

  • @therapist2852
    @therapist2852 9 місяців тому

    very inspirational and interesting video, but i think ill leave my tombstone empty

  • @k_krabco9562
    @k_krabco9562 Місяць тому

    I wish it was that easy to ask them to play 😭 almost all my hobbies revolves around sports and none of my friends likes doing it😢 plus im too shy to play sports with boys

  • @kayaacrumbs8613
    @kayaacrumbs8613 9 місяців тому +1

    i love this video…

  • @thevatharshinitiruchellven8902
    @thevatharshinitiruchellven8902 9 місяців тому +1

    Idk if its weird to have many contacts and acquaintances but not that many close friends. I'm kinda awkward when meeting new people cuz I don't think I'm good and starting or keeping a conversation going. Whenever I think of talking to new people, I find myself delaying by think of a perfect sentence to say to them. But when I'm with my fam and close friends, I keep on talking. It feels weird cuz I love to talk but not with everyone though.

  • @xyruke5153
    @xyruke5153 9 місяців тому

    Thank you RUFF!!!

  • @gummy3092
    @gummy3092 7 місяців тому

    if this is all you do, would you even be friends with yourself? how can you expect others to be friends with you?. wow that hit me hard.

  • @Justnibble1
    @Justnibble1 9 місяців тому

    Let me summarize all the video you have,You really changed my perspective.

  • @grimkid-
    @grimkid- 9 місяців тому +4

    finee ill be a side charcter

  • @adithgxd
    @adithgxd 9 місяців тому

    Boy is getting more relateble frr...

  • @savindukawijitha5583
    @savindukawijitha5583 9 місяців тому

    well u said it. thanks

  • @FyeKicks
    @FyeKicks 9 місяців тому +1

    bro u Dunman what class

  • @marinasotelo1882
    @marinasotelo1882 9 місяців тому

    Gracias amigo, te quiero mucho 💐💐

  • @user-qd1vn7me1g
    @user-qd1vn7me1g 9 місяців тому

    This connect a lot to the "nature's natural selection" lolol

  • @DilweedStudios
    @DilweedStudios 9 місяців тому

    I don’t have this problem but I’m still gonna watch the video 💪

  • @naveeedddd
    @naveeedddd 9 місяців тому +1

    Life is all about providing. Life really suckss

  • @shawnthesheep375
    @shawnthesheep375 9 місяців тому +2

    bros an alpha male💀💀💀

  • @jeeadvanced4719
    @jeeadvanced4719 9 місяців тому +1

    Well am i not smart enough to figure out "why I struggle to make friends?" on my own..
    Whatever now I know.

  • @sandarating5453
    @sandarating5453 9 місяців тому

    bro spitting facts

  • @AnirudhaTouchedSky
    @AnirudhaTouchedSky 9 місяців тому +1

    next guide on breaking friends, there are not many vids about it :)