One of the best ways to learn about yourself is to observe others and see if you notice parts of yourself in them. Maybe you see something that you like or dislike, ask yourself "WHY" and see what you learn about yourself
Their age gap DID play a role in the breakup. Eileen clearly took advantage of Julia's love for her economically and she,being so in love and so much younger didn't understand it. She managed to manipulate her to do what she wanted,something she wouldn't have been able to do so well if her partner was 10 years older.
My Dad is going to be 60 in a few years. He has told me that no man around his age who would be interested in me….would be normal. He said the youngest actress he finds attractive at his current age is Brooke Sheilds (I think she’s in her late 40s), so he can’t even imagine being emotionally or intellectually attractive to someone that much younger. And sadly from what I’ve seen from friends who have dated older men and women, he was 100% right! I’m not saying age gap as a whole is bad. I’m sure a 30 year old and a 40 year old could be very similar in maturity and interests, but when someone could be your parent or grandparent 😬😬
@14:20 reminds me so much of a damaged child comforting a manipulative adult. I've heard so many men introduce the framing of a point with 1. compliment 2. introduce new framing 3. older adult is now victim aka "You're too gracious to say it, but you married someone with no resources." It plays into this "You deserve better but unfortunately all you have me lil ole me, aw shucks. You're so kind and generous and good to stay with me." Meanwhile they're robbing them of their youth and money and giving that person stress and refuse to exit their life just like a leech. And then the younger person ends up babying them and comforting their feelings, even though they were the one who did wrong. Eileen then deflects when Julia brings up the ACTUAL issue, "How could you put us as a couple into this situation?" She later does it again, "You poor thing. (referring to her coughing). What's troubling here is that you've married a person who has maladaptive episodes and then I brought that into our marriage." WHY DOES SHE NEVER TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR HER OWN ACTIONS. Everything she says puts the onus onto Julia and not onto herself. I agree with Brittney, Eileen infantilizes herself and Julia enables/enforces it.
Eileen is always shifting the goalposts and dodging accountability. Julia brings up that she asked Eileen to GET A JOB to pay her back for the bail money, and Eileen immediately shifts to Julia borrowing money from their friends (TO PAY FOR HER BAIL) as if that's Julia's fault and she is somehow wrong(???) for doing that.
Both of these women are very toxic in different ways. The younger one is using the older woman for social media attention & craves it. There are no boundaries. Eileen is using Julia for her ignorance & money.
That's not true at all. Julia has always been a UA-camr and she has already always been with older women before Eileen. And they are not using each other. Eileen is her own person Julia is her own person. They both couldn't make it work so they ended it. And now they are moving on. She was never using her wife. In fact she never got money or rich from it. Those are all lies
@@Aphrodite12003 Every video Julia has made about her relationship with Eileen, every article she's sold, etc, has been money she's made from her relationship with Eileen. Before Eileen, she was renting a room in a house share.
@@pepryan2183 Correct me if Im wrong but Eileen always had a scoial media presence herself and enjoyed this opportunity to put herself out there. She wasnt used for content, she was a very active part of MAKING the content.
Eileen sounds like a lying parent. The gaslighting around the credit card conversation is so apparent. These things can be looked up readily, she could come to the table with facts and documents and OWN UP TO what she did. Instead she would rather just muddy the narrative and complicate timeframes about what was done and purchased when, who paid what, what the intention was behind actions, etc. These are not the actions of an apologetic person.
Eileen irritates me. But never have I been so annoyed as Julia missing her grandfathers funeral because of court fees. No you don’t sell your soul if you’re in jail because it’s not that bad. Food sucks, clothes are itchy, bed is hard and life is uncomfortable. However, when you break the law you know that can be the consequence. She could have gotten a free attorney Julia didn’t have to pay that. Admittedly I got my shit together in my early 30s but very rarely was anyone beat up in jail and the women who were fighting had reason not just for fun.
I once recorded an argument with a 11 year older toxic ex so I could listen to the circle arguing when I was alone...Listened to it once, was so EMBARRASSED I deleted it. Posting this is WILD. Also, found you a few weeks ago love your channel
This is the first video I’ve seen of yours and I’m blown away. You said everything I was thinking. You are spot on. I really hope Julia watches this and learns from it.
You can tell that Eileen LOVES when Julia feels bad and babies her and apologizes to her. She has no desire to change and barely sees anything wrong in her actions evidenced by the fact that she can't even own up to her actions are SIXTY FUCKING YEARS OLD.
Who wants to bet that Eileen embellished prison life so that Julia would rescue her? Why would she get beaten up? She wasn't a child abuser or a nonce, so she wouldn't be a target. Prisons are 1 of 3 levels (As far as I know), which denotes what level of security they are. Very violent offenders are sent to level 3, but violent women are so rare, that some places do not even have female prisons at level 3. Some prisons even have a mother and baby unit, where kids up to a certain age can live with their mothers. Other prisoners can volunteer to babysit. I am not American, but I somehow doubt Eileen was amongst America's Most Wanted in prison. A comment said it was over not returning a rented car. So, she is a thief. Shocking. Julia being that age, and having no money to her name, is mental. I would be ashamed if I was relying on a 20-something year old if I was able-bodied. I would never date younger.
She didn't even go to "prison" technically jail is prison , however in the states we say jail and prison . there is city jail , county jail , prison reception centers , and prison (state or federal it just depends) . I don't even think she made it to county jail , I think she was holding in city jail . It works like this you get arrested and brought to a local precinct /city jail . The city jail calls upon the county to come pick you up or they let you go with a citation telling you when and where you need to go to court . If you get sent to county jail and you don't bail out , you stay there until your case is closed and you're sentenced. Or you either get let go with time served and sometimes probation or sent to a prison reception center so they can decide what prison to put you in . Anyways I agree I doubt Eileen had a problem though....
She is an ADDICT. 1 addiction down? pick up a second. Problems in relationship? Let Your addiction flair up. Be an addict for 10 years? Spend 10 years stunted and unable to mature. Are you an addict? You know how to hee and haw and deflect like a champion. I could go on... Look at her thru the lense of being an addict and it will start to make more sense.
The parasocial relationship theyve created with their audience is so bizarre to me. Age gap aside, their whole relationship is a performance for the internet and the fact that people are gullible enough to believe it is wild to me😂
There’s something so ingenuine about posting your personal relationship problems publicly on the internet. She obviously knew these videos would stir up a lot of talk and that’s why she shared all those details. She just wants the attention and money
Let me break this down. They used each other! Julia for shock values, views and a place to live. Her views skyrocketed and she got sponsorships. Keep in mind shortly after meeting Eileen she moved in with her, took over her entire apartment then they got engaged not too long after and married. The relationship was clearly rushed and i feel they only got married for views. Before Eileen, Julia was living with 3 roommates and had 3 jobs because she was in school which explains why she might have moved in with Eileen so quickly and i think e reaal reason why she didnt leave was because she had no where to go and didn't want to go back to living with roommates and get a normal job. Another thing that people forget about was that Julia was also in another age Gap relationship before Eileen with a woman named Maria. The difference with Maria was that she wasn't too fond of being on camera she even filmed videos with Maria and you can tell that Maria was not comfortable and i think that was a problem for Julia Then one day Julia posted a video stating that her Instagram was hacked and people noticed that it was filmed in Eileen's apartment while she was still with Maria! so its speculated she cheated on Maria with Eileen. Julia is no angel herself. Birds of a feather flock together 💯💯💯💯
I remember Maria. I tuned in after a break and she was with Eileen. I was confused because I didn’t remember Maria having an American accent. I looked through the old videos and Julia had removed nearly every trace of Maria.
Jesus, Julia has been using this older woman to signal her virtue on a massive scale for 5 years. Whew, talk about abuse, and I'm sure this is going both ways. I can't even look deep into it.
I couldn’t understand why Eileen wanted/agreed to go to America on honeymoon knowing she had warrants out for her arrest. At the time it was a massive red flag because the only conclusion I could come to was that Eileen did it on purpose. She went knowing Julia would bail her out, meaning she would be free to go to America in the future without being arrested and sent to jail. Julia was in bits, but Eileen didn’t seem bothered, like she knew it was coming. She just made a creepy comment about missing how Julia smells. She didn’t say it like it was her perfume or the smell of her hair. It was really creepy.
It seems like gas lighting. She does the whole pity me act because her partner has a soft heart but you see how she snaps in and out of crying and swaps her moods once she gets what she wants out of it and when she gets confronted she goes no thats not how it happened and makes her partner shut down to the point where she ends up apologizing and saying "i guess thats just not how i remember it" as if theres 2 different events happenings. 2 sides of the story? yes but it still happens the same way. if she paid the card theres no way to tell her she didnt. Does that make sense? Just kind of sad to watch.
Eileen;s behavior is like that of a vulnerable narcissist (aka: covert narcissist). I saw exactly what you saw, snapping in and out of crying, but when confronted she manipulates Julia into doubting herself.
I remember first encountering Julia and Eileen on Snapchat on one of those featured stories maybe 3-5 years ago and immediately was suspicious of their vibes.
Brittany, for the record, I would LOVE to see a video essay about romantics and romanticization. I struggled to overcome my own depression because of how much I romanticized it, and I’ve seen others wallow in their own despair because they think it will help them produce great art and fit the archetype of the tortured genius. Such a fascinating topic that hasn’t gotten enough attention. btw, i found your content through Kidology and I’ve been binging it non stop since then. I’m so appreciative of your personal philosophy, etc, but I won’t leave a long comment (I hardly ever comment) since I try to avoid parasocial “interactions” as much as possible. Anyway, I do appreciate your content. best to you and your channel :)
Even if Julia is attracted to older people she should be very careful with getting together with this old person because usually them seeing something in a younger person is that they are immature or manipulative. I cringe at how toxic this marriage was, should have been over years ago, or rather never got married. To have their life like this on the internet (even if it's interesting for as to watch and discuss) is very toxic too.
Eileen has never made sense to me. How does someone retire a decade before most people retire yet doesnt even have money? How did she afford to retire? Was she with someone previously who she was also leeching money off? I dont get it
Your assessment of them is so perceptive and accurate. Eileen continues to manipulate Julia, now using her tears and negative self-talk, to squeeze out more empathy from Julia and distract from the real issue -- Eileen's abusive behavior. And through all Eileen's tears and excuses she is really just saying one thing: I won't change. It also drives me nuts when Eileen keeps referring to the harmful things she's done as "episodes". No, it's a pattern. As I do some self-reflection I think what I am learning from this is how easy it can be to fool ourselves and rationalize our own bad behaviors. Thanks so much for your commentary and insights, Brittany.
The way you KNEW this was going to happen 😫 I remembered watching an old video of you saying how fuckep up they're relationship was and not really believing it bc I really liked them together but you were right!
😂😂 I realize how it sounds now 😂😂 I've had partners that I didn't share money with before who didn't work. It was interesting but we weren't working as a team.
I went into this video just to listen about Julia and Eileen since I do watch her channel occasionally. And wow. Wow. I came back with so much insight about my relationship. I am not even done with this video but the legal talk, friends comparing your partner to toxic people... It's all my reality and I feel paralyzed.
julia was a victim, she maybe learned how to be a victim, then she wanted to continue to be a victim and she showed us how she was a victim. This is like Julia's fantasy. Because even how she edit videos, like ending like 'you were the best wife , you did not deserve any of thing'. Finanly julia is a angel and her partner is evil. l dont say that she does these stuff with a conscious. But she literally drawn the story around being little red riding hood story and last minute she saved from the wolf. And her currently partner migh be other saver in her life now. victim and saver are like best match for toxic area. master-slave, mother-kid, narcissism and hysteria, all these definitions are similar with each other in some way. And you can see all them in this couple. l wish best for Julia because l watching her for a long time. End of the day she just need to know she can be her hero not anyone.
The question of "do you see yourself in either of these women" was extremely eye-opening to me, because I do see a lot of myself in Julia. She seems like she has good intentions and she works so hard, but she falls in love so hard and is willing to endure so much struggle in hopes of fixing it. I also fall in love too hard and it's why I'm okay with staying single for a bit. It's like this undying optimism that tells me "you can get through this", which is valid in some cases I believe. For Julia and Eileen though, definitely not. If you watch towards the end, Julia tells Eileen that it's "her turn" to name the problems she has with Julia, and Eileen has nothing bad to say. I honestly think, if anything, Eileen would just be upset that Julia has problems with her out-of-control behavior and has stopped being submissive and letting it happen. Your channel helps me to be so introspective, I'm such a fan of your commentary 🙏💕
Just leave the poor lady alone. Yes it is primarily her fault the relationship ended cause of her mistakes and cause Julia not handle it but thats literally like how all relationships happen anyway. Theirs always someone who can't make it work. They she not right for each other before of some negative differences. I don't believe Eileen is bad person. People are just giving her shit because they don't like her.
I’m sure Eileen is pretty embarrassed by this which she should be but I feel like she’s gaslighting…. I think she’s lying to get out of it and she’s trying to get her to just drop it and say okay okay…. She should have never done it to effin begin with….. 23:35 Julia seems very wise beyond her years….. I couldn’t be with someone older than me and have to babysit their finances and their actions…..imagine being with a 60yr old with the responsibility of a 16yr old…..
I think age gap relationships are fine to a point like 10/15 years if the older person is really healthy and fit. Even a bit older maybe if the older person is in far better health than the younger one. But if your heading towards 20 years plus there will be a LOT of sacrifices down the line. When the older person hits 60s. You have to be willing to support a person who’s going to be lazier, have much less energy and desire to do things, likely not be as able to being in money if not already well off. There are exceptions with very healthy out there older ppl but Eileen is not one of those people not only was she older biologically she was also not even trying with health to make up for it just a bit. I have a 12 years younger bf and not only for him but for me too I rly do my best to stay more youthful and active. Eileen wasn’t exercising, eating well or trying to stay working even if it was making youtube videos. I acknowledge people can have an accident also and lose health but I did feel Eileen didn’t even really try to be a bit more vibrant for this relationship and Julia didn’t rly understand Eileen’s fading energy I feel.
Julia has this idea of ger being very mature for her age so she could subconsciously choose someone so immature as Eileen to confirm this idea. Now she is dating another old man and I really think in the end he will appear to be as immature as Eileen was. Just assuming.
It's kind of hard to pinpoint... to me it is more Eileen's emotional/mental, financial and legal issues that were more relevant than the age gap. Like there are young as*holes and old as*holes as well.
You could never say old. I think this is irresponsible for not paying there equal shares. Because I married to a older person like 30 yrs older I never had a problem.
I'm not sure if you were referring to my comment as being "parasocial" on the previous video where I stated that their age gap wasnt the sole responsibility of the toxicity in their relationship. However I simply wanted to remind others that these exact things can happen in relationships where there is little to no age gap at all. I feel in general (and i am open to being wrong) that in multiple videos you have a general disdain for age gap relationships and sometimes you don't go into specifics unlike this video. And i can understand why people dont like age gaps, because you do have to question why and if these two individuals have any morals or values in common. But at the same time, when the age gap is non existent or acceptable - we dont really question these things in other relationships. Or at least the majority of people don't automatically do so. Even though these things are important regardless of the situation. I know that YOU are aware there are other factors at play, but other people in the comments do not know their full lore so i wanted to provide some insight. I also do acknowledge in my comment that their age gap does play a role and usually age gaps that are not nearly as dramatic have more potential, especially when it comes to less generational differences, and likely more things in common (like values and morals) A lot people as well think that it's also Julia who was the aboosive/problematic one - because people often assume the younger one has more capacity to be aboosive in a situation like this - because Eileen is significantly older and disabled. However, we know thats obviously not the case here. Although they are both manipulative and toxic to eachother in their own ways, and to their audience.
True, they can happen in relationships without an age gap. But in this situation the power and accumulated knowledge is on Eileen’s side and naivety on Julia’s. I say this as a 55 year old who would NEVER behave the way Eileen behaved. I also have a younger partner, but we were 38 & 53 when we got together. If someone in their early 20s was interested in me, I would say no because it wouldn’t be in their best interests. I am fair and have morals, because that’s how normal people are supposed to be. Eileen is not fair or moral and she disgusts me.
@@SaturnPandaCat I agree completely. In my previous comment on Brittany's other video I further described Eileen's blatant manipulation and horrible behavior. I'm sure Julia had her moments as well but it's clear that Eileen is significantly more conniving in my opinion. You do have to question the older individuals morals, maturity, and identity especially when the younger partner is so emotionally immature themselves.
There’s something wrong with her mentally…. There’s something…. Bipolar? Borderline? Both? she said in another video I watched that she needed her but she was embarrassed to tell her that or something…. Their whole dynamic makes me uncomfortable…. It’s like Eileen is simping for her….. She’s needy I think she’s clingy borderline possessive….. I think they were raised in two totally different worlds…. Julia is a giver she wants to make people happy she’s a caregiver….. Eileen is someone who needs to be taken care of….it reminds me of like Hugh Hefner and the girls…. Like I can picture them having rules like you need to be in bed with me at this time on these days you need to be in the house at this time you must stay at home every night no overnight trips type of shi…. It’s just weird
Maybe people are going to disagree with me on this and that's okay but I'm sorry I have to say it Julia cannot expect Eileen a woman in her 60s with health problems, on government assistance, bad credit and who hasn't worked in years to get a job!!!!. I think thats unfair. Julia knew Eileen was old and broke and would potentially encounter problems later due to her old age and she still got into the relationship I understand that Julia felt like she needed to help her wife get out of trouble but lets say Eileen did ask Julia to help her it wasn't Julia's responsibility!!! Eileen should have taken care of that a long time ago and it's unfair to expect your wife of a couple of months who you kept this information from to pay off all your dues. Julias debt is her fault
Then Eileen should have behaved responsibly but she doesn’t seem to know how to do so. I am in Eileen’s situation physically. I would never dream of getting myself into such a financial and legal hole, then expect my partner to bail me out. Especially when the other party is young and naive. It’s just so fundamentally young.
It wasn't about gender, or age, it was about healthy minds. They were both intelligent and caring but mental illness is a bugger and it destroyed them. I am speaking about Eileen's issues. It is a very sad situation.
I think Julia is a manipulative narcissist - she made that money off Eileen and selling their relationship not just to their channel but to multiple multiple television shows. It’s ironic that she’s sitting on her boyfriend bed to talk about divorce and she’s already in for years another relationship which she had to hide because she didn’t want to lose her lesbian audience - now she’s parading him around
the age gap is not too much of an opinion. There are studies on age differentials in terms of brain development & maturity growth-most significant in 20 or over year age gaps when the younger person is in early 20s. So, someone 40 with a 60 year, the maturity & brain development gap isn’t that significant. Males don’t even stop growing or brain developing until 22. It does matter.
There's nothing to do with the age gap, at least not in every relationship, even if you consider it strange or not, people can be different. It depends on everybody's mind, connection, maturity,behaviour, life experience etc.
Brittany. You should do a video of when they first got together. The videos are out there. Watching this video is like watching the last movie that is part of a series. We end up wanting to know more about how we got to the current moment. It would be interesting to see a follow-up video where you found content that leads up to the divorce video 🤔👍
Honestly Julia uses all this drama (sometimes I even wonder if it's all an act) because I've caught so many unnecessary lies, like saying she is in her room and it's a green screen, and also everytime she goes thru drama or new partner she uses that to have audience for her music. It's like a bizarre use of personal drama to bait people and she does it well!
These things all happened so long ago, like none of this is current. How havent they gone to a therapist and worked this out before. Julia also gaslit us about this relationship all these years. And they could have used a public defender. They can be some of the best attorneys. I believe the legal outcome would have been the same. I dont think Julia looked up any receipts because she was also probably lying.
Okay, so if I'm honest (this might be triggersome for some) - there is a thing called gerontophilia, where one is attracted to much older people, like that huge age gap. It is a form of paraphilia. Julia seems to be empathetic, and I fully agree that there is a good dosage of infantilization and bad boundaries. She understands stuff, but she does not execute it, puts it "under the rug" as she said. The question she rises "how am I supposed to address it" is an important question, very important to raise in therapy about relationships or to introspect in the best way possible, constructively. It is a big part in relationships to communicate these issues. It can be hard with a more fluid sense of boundaries and it is fine, things can be hard at first, we all learn. Eileen however... I agree about what you said, basically on her. If Julia is dating a man as old as Eileen now as I heard - there is a good reason to look into gerontophilic pattern and perhaps the reasons why is she attracted to these people that link back to childhood relationships with parents and perhaps, traumatic events through childhood. It is also linked to the sense of boundaries that she feels like it's fine to share such content with the public, this level of publicity is concerning since the way she pursues it can damage her relationships along with her feeling bad as result and maybe not knowing where it stems from in her, which is fine - but imo is a good reason to look at therapeutically. These things damage, the less awareness people have - the worse.
The videos about divorce are just for the money, they have to pay their lawyers and divorce papers as well….. and besides, both of them are mentally ill. Otherwise there is no way you make videos about this.
I dont think she should have divorced her right away because of the arrest! When you get married its for the better and the worst! She wasnt an rapist or an murderer so it wasnt that serious! To be married for an couple of years and get divorced without barely trying only seems to me like Julia never really truly loved her (was really into her)!
Though it was extremely toxic by Eileen to not tell Julia that she had legal problems in US and then to not pay back and take out credit cards in her name.
@@teijaflink2226 She didn't have an job and she had really bad credit! She knew she was retired, old and broke when she first met her! So she wouldn't have been able to pay back that debt right away it would have taken her years!! They are both problematic to me!
@uniquechallenges2478💯💯💯 eileen also has a point when she Said Julia married someone with no resources. Julia can't expect someone on government assistance, bad credit and of old age to get a job and help out. Eileen also has health problems. Julia KNEW ALL OF THIS SO SOME OF THIS IS ALSO HER FAULT!
I mean I do believe the age gap played a role in the divorce but I don't think it was the main issue that broke them up. If Eileen was in her late 20's/early 30's and made all the same mistakes I still think they would've gotten divorced.
I think this is maybe something very important to understand . She can criticise everyone or anything she wants. Internet is an open platform. Julia and Eileen made the decision to film all of their personal stuff, that’s on them. If Brittany doesn’t want to be criticised about her relationship. It’s on her to keep it private.
I’ve been a viewer of Julia’s channel for a few years now, in a “a car crash you can’t look away from” way. But also, Julia knows how to catch your attention with her video titles. I think Julia is a kind-hearted, well-meaning person but with shades of damage/dysfunction, and maybe leaning anxiously-attached ❤️🩹 There is something to be said about- what drives a person to air out their own relationship drama on the internet?. Like, most ppl would not be proud to air out their personal stuff like that, I think she needs to do intense inner work regarding her self value, self worth and possibly unpacking childhood trauma.. which may play a factor in why she’s attracted to older women (with such a large age gap). I do think she’s a good person, she has a beautiful heart & I wish the best for her. I hope one day she will realise her worth, work on her worth & flourish again 🌸🌷 edit: good ppl that are well-meaning can easily fall into abusive/ toxic relationships since they see other ppl as well-meaning as them, so they don’t suspect bad intentions. Julia needs to wake up & realise not everyone sees the world & ppl like her.
One of the best ways to learn about yourself is to observe others and see if you notice parts of yourself in them. Maybe you see something that you like or dislike, ask yourself "WHY" and see what you learn about yourself
i honestly can’t imagine having to toxic relationship style argue with a 60 year old at 20 dude 😭
You would be surprised
Their age gap DID play a role in the breakup. Eileen clearly took advantage of Julia's love for her economically and she,being so in love and so much younger didn't understand it. She managed to manipulate her to do what she wanted,something she wouldn't have been able to do so well if her partner was 10 years older.
Checkmate 💯💯💯
What’s sad is normally the one advantage for the younger person is financial security, but Eileen didn’t even have that
@@alessandrajackson3768 it was the love bombing mostly I think.
Ring ding 🛎️
My Dad is going to be 60 in a few years. He has told me that no man around his age who would be interested in me….would be normal. He said the youngest actress he finds attractive at his current age is Brooke Sheilds (I think she’s in her late 40s), so he can’t even imagine being emotionally or intellectually attractive to someone that much younger. And sadly from what I’ve seen from friends who have dated older men and women, he was 100% right!
I’m not saying age gap as a whole is bad. I’m sure a 30 year old and a 40 year old could be very similar in maturity and interests, but when someone could be your parent or grandparent 😬😬
she’s actually 58 :) and i 100% agree!
@14:20 reminds me so much of a damaged child comforting a manipulative adult. I've heard so many men introduce the framing of a point with 1. compliment 2. introduce new framing 3. older adult is now victim aka "You're too gracious to say it, but you married someone with no resources."
It plays into this "You deserve better but unfortunately all you have me lil ole me, aw shucks. You're so kind and generous and good to stay with me." Meanwhile they're robbing them of their youth and money and giving that person stress and refuse to exit their life just like a leech. And then the younger person ends up babying them and comforting their feelings, even though they were the one who did wrong.
Eileen then deflects when Julia brings up the ACTUAL issue, "How could you put us as a couple into this situation?"
She later does it again, "You poor thing. (referring to her coughing). What's troubling here is that you've married a person who has maladaptive episodes and then I brought that into our marriage." WHY DOES SHE NEVER TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR HER OWN ACTIONS. Everything she says puts the onus onto Julia and not onto herself.
I agree with Brittney, Eileen infantilizes herself and Julia enables/enforces it.
Eileen is always shifting the goalposts and dodging accountability. Julia brings up that she asked Eileen to GET A JOB to pay her back for the bail money, and Eileen immediately shifts to Julia borrowing money from their friends (TO PAY FOR HER BAIL) as if that's Julia's fault and she is somehow wrong(???) for doing that.
Both of these women are very toxic in different ways. The younger one is using the older woman for social media attention & craves it. There are no boundaries. Eileen is using Julia for her ignorance & money.
Both using each other for money. Julia gave Eileen a home in Chelsea
That's not true at all. Julia has always been a UA-camr and she has already always been with older women before Eileen. And they are not using each other. Eileen is her own person Julia is her own person. They both couldn't make it work so they ended it. And now they are moving on. She was never using her wife. In fact she never got money or rich from it. Those are all lies
@@Aphrodite12003 Every video Julia has made about her relationship with Eileen, every article she's sold, etc, has been money she's made from her relationship with Eileen.
Before Eileen, she was renting a room in a house share.
@@pepryan2183 Correct me if Im wrong but Eileen always had a scoial media presence herself and enjoyed this opportunity to put herself out there. She wasnt used for content, she was a very active part of MAKING the content.
Eileen sounds like a lying parent. The gaslighting around the credit card conversation is so apparent. These things can be looked up readily, she could come to the table with facts and documents and OWN UP TO what she did. Instead she would rather just muddy the narrative and complicate timeframes about what was done and purchased when, who paid what, what the intention was behind actions, etc.
These are not the actions of an apologetic person.
Eileen irritates me. But never have I been so annoyed as Julia missing her grandfathers funeral because of court fees. No you don’t sell your soul if you’re in jail because it’s not that bad. Food sucks, clothes are itchy, bed is hard and life is uncomfortable. However, when you break the law you know that can be the consequence. She could have gotten a free attorney Julia didn’t have to pay that. Admittedly I got my shit together in my early 30s but very rarely was anyone beat up in jail and the women who were fighting had reason not just for fun.
Yes agree, it's jail not prison.
I once recorded an argument with a 11 year older toxic ex so I could listen to the circle arguing when I was alone...Listened to it once, was so EMBARRASSED I deleted it. Posting this is WILD. Also, found you a few weeks ago love your channel
This is the first video I’ve seen of yours and I’m blown away. You said everything I was thinking. You are spot on. I really hope Julia watches this and learns from it.
You can tell that Eileen LOVES when Julia feels bad and babies her and apologizes to her. She has no desire to change and barely sees anything wrong in her actions evidenced by the fact that she can't even own up to her actions are SIXTY FUCKING YEARS OLD.
yep, she's more immature than Julia.
Who wants to bet that Eileen embellished prison life so that Julia would rescue her?
Why would she get beaten up?
She wasn't a child abuser or a nonce, so she wouldn't be a target.
Prisons are 1 of 3 levels (As far as I know), which denotes what level of security they are.
Very violent offenders are sent to level 3, but violent women are so rare, that some places do not even have female prisons at level 3.
Some prisons even have a mother and baby unit, where kids up to a certain age can live with their mothers.
Other prisoners can volunteer to babysit.
I am not American, but I somehow doubt Eileen was amongst America's Most Wanted in prison.
A comment said it was over not returning a rented car. So, she is a thief. Shocking.
Julia being that age, and having no money to her name, is mental. I would be ashamed if I was relying on a 20-something year old if I was able-bodied. I would never date younger.
She didn't even go to "prison" technically jail is prison , however in the states we say jail and prison . there is city jail , county jail , prison reception centers , and prison (state or federal it just depends) . I don't even think she made it to county jail , I think she was holding in city jail .
It works like this you get arrested and brought to a local precinct /city jail . The city jail calls upon the county to come pick you up or they let you go with a citation telling you when and where you need to go to court . If you get sent to county jail and you don't bail out , you stay there until your case is closed and you're sentenced. Or you either get let go with time served and sometimes probation or sent to a prison reception center so they can decide what prison to put you in .
Anyways I agree I doubt Eileen had a problem though....
She is an ADDICT. 1 addiction down? pick up a second. Problems in relationship? Let Your addiction flair up. Be an addict for 10 years? Spend 10 years stunted and unable to mature. Are you an addict? You know how to hee and haw and deflect like a champion.
I could go on...
Look at her thru the lense of being an addict and it will start to make more sense.
Yupppp. Addict rlly hit the nail on the head. Netflix show Feel Good does a good job exploring addictive tendencies
I think she is just lazy. She is, she skurked off to the UK to spinge off the system and hasnt worked since she was like 42
Sure but “lazy” doesn’t explain much and imo usually isn’t super helpful in getting at the root of issues
The parasocial relationship theyve created with their audience is so bizarre to me. Age gap aside, their whole relationship is a performance for the internet and the fact that people are gullible enough to believe it is wild to me😂
Agreed. It feels like it can’t be authentic when so much of it is about views.
Yeah. The music video with Julia literally eating Eileen's heart. Like wtf
This 👏🏻
There’s something so ingenuine about posting your personal relationship problems publicly on the internet. She obviously knew these videos would stir up a lot of talk and that’s why she shared all those details. She just wants the attention and money
I am really curious what Julia's perspective on Eileen will be in 10 years.
Give me the grace to raise an eyebrow is a saying i need on a shirt 😂💕
Omg yessss!!!
@@BrittanySimonmake it happen babeeeee 😂🎉
Let me break this down.
They used each other! Julia for shock values, views and a place to live. Her views skyrocketed and she got sponsorships.
Keep in mind shortly after meeting Eileen she moved in with her, took over her entire apartment then they got engaged not too long after and married. The relationship was clearly rushed and i feel they only got married for views.
Before Eileen, Julia was living with 3 roommates and had 3 jobs because she was in school which explains why she might have moved in with Eileen so quickly and i think e reaal reason why she didnt leave was because she had no where to go and didn't want to go back to living with roommates and get a normal job.
Another thing that people forget about was that Julia was also in another age Gap relationship before Eileen with a woman named Maria. The difference with Maria was that she wasn't too fond of being on camera she even filmed videos with Maria and you can tell that Maria was not comfortable and i think that was a problem for Julia
Then one day Julia posted a video stating that her Instagram was hacked and people noticed that it was filmed in Eileen's apartment while she was still with Maria! so its speculated she cheated on Maria with Eileen. Julia is no angel herself. Birds of a feather flock together 💯💯💯💯
Also citizenship could be part of it( don’t know enough to say whether that’s likely or not )
I remember Maria. I tuned in after a break and she was with Eileen. I was confused because I didn’t remember Maria having an American accent. I looked through the old videos and Julia had removed nearly every trace of Maria.
Jesus, Julia has been using this older woman to signal her virtue on a massive scale for 5 years. Whew, talk about abuse, and I'm sure this is going both ways. I can't even look deep into it.
I couldn’t understand why Eileen wanted/agreed to go to America on honeymoon knowing she had warrants out for her arrest. At the time it was a massive red flag because the only conclusion I could come to was that Eileen did it on purpose. She went knowing Julia would bail her out, meaning she would be free to go to America in the future without being arrested and sent to jail. Julia was in bits, but Eileen didn’t seem bothered, like she knew it was coming. She just made a creepy comment about missing how Julia smells. She didn’t say it like it was her perfume or the smell of her hair. It was really creepy.
It seems like gas lighting. She does the whole pity me act because her partner has a soft heart but you see how she snaps in and out of crying and swaps her moods once she gets what she wants out of it and when she gets confronted she goes no thats not how it happened and makes her partner shut down to the point where she ends up apologizing and saying "i guess thats just not how i remember it" as if theres 2 different events happenings. 2 sides of the story? yes but it still happens the same way. if she paid the card theres no way to tell her she didnt. Does that make sense? Just kind of sad to watch.
Eileen;s behavior is like that of a vulnerable narcissist (aka: covert narcissist). I saw exactly what you saw, snapping in and out of crying, but when confronted she manipulates Julia into doubting herself.
I remember first encountering Julia and Eileen on Snapchat on one of those featured stories maybe 3-5 years ago and immediately was suspicious of their vibes.
"GIVE ME THE GRACE TO RAISE A EYEBROW" That 👏🏻 right 👏🏻 there 👏🏻 Britt 🤷🏼♀️😜
Brittany, for the record, I would LOVE to see a video essay about romantics and romanticization. I struggled to overcome my own depression because of how much I romanticized it, and I’ve seen others wallow in their own despair because they think it will help them produce great art and fit the archetype of the tortured genius. Such a fascinating topic that hasn’t gotten enough attention. btw, i found your content through Kidology and I’ve been binging it non stop since then. I’m so appreciative of your personal philosophy, etc, but I won’t leave a long comment (I hardly ever comment) since I try to avoid parasocial “interactions” as much as possible. Anyway, I do appreciate your content. best to you and your channel :)
Even if Julia is attracted to older people she should be very careful with getting together with this old person because usually them seeing something in a younger person is that they are immature or manipulative. I cringe at how toxic this marriage was, should have been over years ago, or rather never got married. To have their life like this on the internet (even if it's interesting for as to watch and discuss) is very toxic too.
Eileen has never made sense to me. How does someone retire a decade before most people retire yet doesnt even have money? How did she afford to retire? Was she with someone previously who she was also leeching money off? I dont get it
She never retired. She's been collecting and living off government assistance for YEARS. Eileen is pretty lazy
True fact
Your assessment of them is so perceptive and accurate. Eileen continues to manipulate Julia, now using her tears and negative self-talk, to squeeze out more empathy from Julia and distract from the real issue -- Eileen's abusive behavior. And through all Eileen's tears and excuses she is really just saying one thing: I won't change. It also drives me nuts when Eileen keeps referring to the harmful things she's done as "episodes". No, it's a pattern. As I do some self-reflection I think what I am learning from this is how easy it can be to fool ourselves and rationalize our own bad behaviors. Thanks so much for your commentary and insights, Brittany.
me and brittany deeply sighing at the same time was therapeutic
The way you KNEW this was going to happen 😫 I remembered watching an old video of you saying how fuckep up they're relationship was and not really believing it bc I really liked them together but you were right!
I agree but it felt like Julia kept pursing old ladies and she’s the one who proposed. She has issues herself
Omg Eileen. You applied for the credit card in America, it takes a few weeks to get the physical credit card. Lady, you’re splitting hairs
She is gaslightin Julia so bad.
That is true they should never put their divorce . And I think they shouldn't put their relationships on the internet that is private .
Of course you share money with him homie has no job 😂😂😂😂
😂😂 I realize how it sounds now 😂😂 I've had partners that I didn't share money with before who didn't work. It was interesting but we weren't working as a team.
I went into this video just to listen about Julia and Eileen since I do watch her channel occasionally. And wow. Wow. I came back with so much insight about my relationship. I am not even done with this video but the legal talk, friends comparing your partner to toxic people... It's all my reality and I feel paralyzed.
julia was a victim, she maybe learned how to be a victim, then she wanted to continue to be a victim and she showed us how she was a victim. This is like Julia's fantasy. Because even how she edit videos, like ending like 'you were the best wife , you did not deserve any of thing'. Finanly julia is a angel and her partner is evil. l dont say that she does these stuff with a conscious. But she literally drawn the story around being little red riding hood story and last minute she saved from the wolf. And her currently partner migh be other saver in her life now. victim and saver are like best match for toxic area. master-slave, mother-kid, narcissism and hysteria, all these definitions are similar with each other in some way. And you can see all them in this couple. l wish best for Julia because l watching her for a long time. End of the day she just need to know she can be her hero not anyone.
Bro, she's "begging" basically a retiree-aged person to get a jerb to help out lololol.
That is a real consideration. A lot of entry level jobs are physically demanding. But still. There’s remote work. There’s office temp work.
It was Eileen's fault so she should be paying Julia back and making an effort
They said she was milking her divorce for views and I agree it seems very money grabbing!!
I said the same 💯💯💯
The question of "do you see yourself in either of these women" was extremely eye-opening to me, because I do see a lot of myself in Julia. She seems like she has good intentions and she works so hard, but she falls in love so hard and is willing to endure so much struggle in hopes of fixing it. I also fall in love too hard and it's why I'm okay with staying single for a bit. It's like this undying optimism that tells me "you can get through this", which is valid in some cases I believe. For Julia and Eileen though, definitely not. If you watch towards the end, Julia tells Eileen that it's "her turn" to name the problems she has with Julia, and Eileen has nothing bad to say. I honestly think, if anything, Eileen would just be upset that Julia has problems with her out-of-control behavior and has stopped being submissive and letting it happen. Your channel helps me to be so introspective, I'm such a fan of your commentary 🙏💕
HOLY SHIT, there is a part 3? perfect Friday, thanks Brittany.
I would love to see video essays from you! :3
Just leave the poor lady alone. Yes it is primarily her fault the relationship ended cause of her mistakes and cause Julia not handle it but thats literally like how all relationships happen anyway. Theirs always someone who can't make it work. They she not right for each other before of some negative differences. I don't believe Eileen is bad person. People are just giving her shit because they don't like her.
This reminded me so much of my ex and I am really glad we didn't got to the point of only working.
What about putting money on a credit card for a ticket to Brazil???
I’m sure Eileen is pretty embarrassed by this which she should be but I feel like she’s gaslighting…. I think she’s lying to get out of it and she’s trying to get her to just drop it and say okay okay…. She should have never done it to effin begin with….. 23:35 Julia seems very wise beyond her years….. I couldn’t be with someone older than me and have to babysit their finances and their actions…..imagine being with a 60yr old with the responsibility of a 16yr old…..
I think age gap relationships are fine to a point like 10/15 years if the older person is really healthy and fit. Even a bit older maybe if the older person is in far better health than the younger one. But if your heading towards 20 years plus there will be a LOT of sacrifices down the line. When the older person hits 60s. You have to be willing to support a person who’s going to be lazier, have much less energy and desire to do things, likely not be as able to being in money if not already well off. There are exceptions with very healthy out there older ppl but Eileen is not one of those people not only was she older biologically she was also not even trying with health to make up for it just a bit. I have a 12 years younger bf and not only for him but for me too I rly do my best to stay more youthful and active. Eileen wasn’t exercising, eating well or trying to stay working even if it was making youtube videos. I acknowledge people can have an accident also and lose health but I did feel Eileen didn’t even really try to be a bit more vibrant for this relationship and Julia didn’t rly understand Eileen’s fading energy I feel.
Julia has this idea of ger being very mature for her age so she could subconsciously choose someone so immature as Eileen to confirm this idea. Now she is dating another old man and I really think in the end he will appear to be as immature as Eileen was. Just assuming.
It's kind of hard to pinpoint... to me it is more Eileen's emotional/mental, financial and legal issues that were more relevant than the age gap. Like there are young as*holes and old as*holes as well.
You could never say old. I think this is irresponsible for not paying there equal shares. Because I married to a older person like 30 yrs older I never had a problem.
I'm not sure if you were referring to my comment as being "parasocial" on the previous video where I stated that their age gap wasnt the sole responsibility of the toxicity in their relationship. However I simply wanted to remind others that these exact things can happen in relationships where there is little to no age gap at all. I feel in general (and i am open to being wrong) that in multiple videos you have a general disdain for age gap relationships and sometimes you don't go into specifics unlike this video. And i can understand why people dont like age gaps, because you do have to question why and if these two individuals have any morals or values in common. But at the same time, when the age gap is non existent or acceptable - we dont really question these things in other relationships. Or at least the majority of people don't automatically do so. Even though these things are important regardless of the situation. I know that YOU are aware there are other factors at play, but other people in the comments do not know their full lore so i wanted to provide some insight. I also do acknowledge in my comment that their age gap does play a role and usually age gaps that are not nearly as dramatic have more potential, especially when it comes to less generational differences, and likely more things in common (like values and morals) A lot people as well think that it's also Julia who was the aboosive/problematic one - because people often assume the younger one has more capacity to be aboosive in a situation like this - because Eileen is significantly older and disabled. However, we know thats obviously not the case here. Although they are both manipulative and toxic to eachother in their own ways, and to their audience.
True, they can happen in relationships without an age gap. But in this situation the power and accumulated knowledge is on Eileen’s side and naivety on Julia’s. I say this as a 55 year old who would NEVER behave the way Eileen behaved. I also have a younger partner, but we were 38 & 53 when we got together. If someone in their early 20s was interested in me, I would say no because it wouldn’t be in their best interests. I am fair and have morals, because that’s how normal people are supposed to be. Eileen is not fair or moral and she disgusts me.
And I’m also disabled. But I’m not financially dependent on anyone and financial abuse is abhorrent.
@@SaturnPandaCat I agree completely. In my previous comment on Brittany's other video I further described Eileen's blatant manipulation and horrible behavior. I'm sure Julia had her moments as well but it's clear that Eileen is significantly more conniving in my opinion. You do have to question the older individuals morals, maturity, and identity especially when the younger partner is so emotionally immature themselves.
There’s something wrong with her mentally…. There’s something…. Bipolar? Borderline? Both? she said in another video I watched that she needed her but she was embarrassed to tell her that or something…. Their whole dynamic makes me uncomfortable…. It’s like Eileen is simping for her….. She’s needy I think she’s clingy borderline possessive….. I think they were raised in two totally different worlds…. Julia is a giver she wants to make people happy she’s a caregiver….. Eileen is someone who needs to be taken care of….it reminds me of like Hugh Hefner and the girls…. Like I can picture them having rules like you need to be in bed with me at this time on these days you need to be in the house at this time you must stay at home every night no overnight trips type of shi…. It’s just weird
Maybe people are going to disagree with me on this and that's okay but I'm sorry I have to say it Julia cannot expect Eileen a woman in her 60s with health problems, on government assistance, bad credit and who hasn't worked in years to get a job!!!!. I think thats unfair. Julia knew Eileen was old and broke and would potentially encounter problems later due to her old age and she still got into the relationship
I understand that Julia felt like she needed to help her wife get out of trouble but lets say Eileen did ask Julia to help her it wasn't Julia's responsibility!!! Eileen should have taken care of that a long time ago and it's unfair to expect your wife of a couple of months who you kept this information from to pay off all your dues. Julias debt is her fault
Ah yeah
Then Eileen should have behaved responsibly but she doesn’t seem to know how to do so. I am in Eileen’s situation physically. I would never dream of getting myself into such a financial and legal hole, then expect my partner to bail me out. Especially when the other party is young and naive. It’s just so fundamentally young.
It wasn't about gender, or age, it was about healthy minds. They were both intelligent and caring but mental illness is a bugger and it destroyed them. I am speaking about Eileen's issues. It is a very sad situation.
I think Julia is a manipulative narcissist - she made that money off Eileen and selling their relationship not just to their channel but to multiple multiple television shows. It’s ironic that she’s sitting on her boyfriend bed to talk about divorce and she’s already in for years another relationship which she had to hide because she didn’t want to lose her lesbian audience - now she’s parading him around
the age gap is not too much of an opinion. There are studies on age differentials in terms of brain development & maturity growth-most significant in 20 or over year age gaps when the younger person is in early 20s. So, someone 40 with a 60 year, the maturity & brain development gap isn’t that significant. Males don’t even stop growing or brain developing until 22. It does matter.
There's nothing to do with the age gap, at least not in every relationship, even if you consider it strange or not, people can be different. It depends on everybody's mind, connection, maturity,behaviour, life experience etc.
Brittany. You should do a video of when they first got together. The videos are out there. Watching this video is like watching the last movie that is part of a series. We end up wanting to know more about how we got to the current moment.
It would be interesting to see a follow-up video where you found content that leads up to the divorce video 🤔👍
Honestly Julia uses all this drama (sometimes I even wonder if it's all an act) because I've caught so many unnecessary lies, like saying she is in her room and it's a green screen, and also everytime she goes thru drama or new partner she uses that to have audience for her music. It's like a bizarre use of personal drama to bait people and she does it well!
This is why I,m staying single you let them in your life and they cause you nothing but grief been my experience 💯
These things all happened so long ago, like none of this is current. How havent they gone to a therapist and worked this out before. Julia also gaslit us about this relationship all these years. And they could have used a public defender. They can be some of the best attorneys. I believe the legal outcome would have been the same.
I dont think Julia looked up any receipts because she was also probably lying.
Okay, so if I'm honest (this might be triggersome for some) - there is a thing called gerontophilia, where one is attracted to much older people, like that huge age gap. It is a form of paraphilia. Julia seems to be empathetic, and I fully agree that there is a good dosage of infantilization and bad boundaries. She understands stuff, but she does not execute it, puts it "under the rug" as she said. The question she rises "how am I supposed to address it" is an important question, very important to raise in therapy about relationships or to introspect in the best way possible, constructively. It is a big part in relationships to communicate these issues. It can be hard with a more fluid sense of boundaries and it is fine, things can be hard at first, we all learn.
Eileen however... I agree about what you said, basically on her. If Julia is dating a man as old as Eileen now as I heard - there is a good reason to look into gerontophilic pattern and perhaps the reasons why is she attracted to these people that link back to childhood relationships with parents and perhaps, traumatic events through childhood. It is also linked to the sense of boundaries that she feels like it's fine to share such content with the public, this level of publicity is concerning since the way she pursues it can damage her relationships along with her feeling bad as result and maybe not knowing where it stems from in her, which is fine - but imo is a good reason to look at therapeutically. These things damage, the less awareness people have - the worse.
Her previous partner was about the same age as her mother.
Grab some popcorn and eat it.
The videos about divorce are just for the money, they have to pay their lawyers and divorce papers as well….. and besides, both of them are mentally ill. Otherwise there is no way you make videos about this.
I dont think she should have divorced her right away because of the arrest! When you get married its for the better and the worst! She wasnt an rapist or an murderer so it wasnt that serious! To be married for an couple of years and get divorced without barely trying only seems to me like Julia never really truly loved her (was really into her)!
Though it was extremely toxic by Eileen to not tell Julia that she had legal problems in US and then to not pay back and take out credit cards in her name.
@@teijaflink2226 She didn't have an job and she had really bad credit! She knew she was retired, old and broke when she first met her! So she wouldn't have been able to pay back that debt right away it would have taken her years!! They are both problematic to me!
"She wasnt an rapist or an murderer so it wasnt that serious! "
Found the criminal lover
@uniquechallenges2478💯💯💯 eileen also has a point when she Said Julia married someone with no resources. Julia can't expect someone on government assistance, bad credit and of old age to get a job and help out. Eileen also has health problems. Julia KNEW ALL OF THIS SO SOME OF THIS IS ALSO HER FAULT!
@@MA-rn2xpexactly
I mean I do believe the age gap played a role in the divorce but I don't think it was the main issue that broke them up. If Eileen was in her late 20's/early 30's and made all the same mistakes I still think they would've gotten divorced.
I think Julia did/does know, but she’s trying to be respectful.
This particular age gap, it's so hard to believe was for real reasons I'm sorry.
I’m not even a fan of them but you want to critique people on the internet yet you don’t want to be critiqued...
I mean why doesn't her husband work 😭
What does her husband do instead of work?
I think this is maybe something very important to understand . She can criticise everyone or anything she wants. Internet is an open platform. Julia and Eileen made the decision to film all of their personal stuff, that’s on them. If Brittany doesn’t want to be criticised about her relationship. It’s on her to keep it private.
This is such a good video 💕
A priest? Or someone qualified...
her why is ptsd I reckon
Exactly!
What are you eating?
I’ve been a viewer of Julia’s channel for a few years now, in a “a car crash you can’t look away from” way. But also, Julia knows how to catch your attention with her video titles. I think Julia is a kind-hearted, well-meaning person but with shades of damage/dysfunction, and maybe leaning anxiously-attached ❤️🩹 There is something to be said about- what drives a person to air out their own relationship drama on the internet?. Like, most ppl would not be proud to air out their personal stuff like that, I think she needs to do intense inner work regarding her self value, self worth and possibly unpacking childhood trauma.. which may play a factor in why she’s attracted to older women (with such a large age gap). I do think she’s a good person, she has a beautiful heart & I wish the best for her. I hope one day she will realise her worth, work on her worth & flourish again 🌸🌷 edit: good ppl that are well-meaning can easily fall into abusive/ toxic relationships since they see other ppl as well-meaning as them, so they don’t suspect bad intentions. Julia needs to wake up & realise not everyone sees the world & ppl like her.
Fresh got fit pregger
WOW you are very opinionated...who are you ?!