My Girlfriend Keeps Testing Me . . .

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 495

  • @brandonyoung5037
    @brandonyoung5037 7 місяців тому +275

    Man, I am so thankful for my wife sometimes when i hear these calls.

    • @jenniferpardee4434
      @jenniferpardee4434 7 місяців тому +14

      I'm sure my husband is too. ❤

    • @tiffanyaugustine8455
      @tiffanyaugustine8455 7 місяців тому +10

      Hope she knows how blessed she is, too. God bless you both. 🙏❤️🇺🇸

    • @Sand2Sky
      @Sand2Sky 7 місяців тому +1

      Same

    • @DeeLee-p8c
      @DeeLee-p8c 7 місяців тому +2

      Ha ha ha 😅😅 but do you know your wife? I Mean you never know.

    • @israelarellano8335
      @israelarellano8335 7 місяців тому

      Same!

  • @GentlRebel
    @GentlRebel 7 місяців тому +91

    Easton, I’m exhausted just listening to this. Please get out. I’m old enough to be your mom and I can tell you that life is hard enough without having your spouse constantly “testing” you. You sound like a quality young man. You deserve better.

  • @elisegothlix1183
    @elisegothlix1183 7 місяців тому +185

    Religious or not, testing your partner is unhealthy. She needs to look in the mirror but probably won't.

    • @deniseneal1751
      @deniseneal1751 5 місяців тому

      (ENERGY)VAMPIRES DON'T SHOW UP IN MIRRORS--she is UNWILLING AND INCAPABLE OF INTROSPECTION

  • @Catechuman23
    @Catechuman23 7 місяців тому +118

    Easton, my brother in Christ, she's not marriage material at this time. My marriage got started on the same type of footing, and a decade later and a lot of work, we're finally through that. If I was in your shoes knowing what I know now, there would be no relationship with that person. You're not even engaged; save yourself. Blessings.

    • @jude8943
      @jude8943 7 місяців тому +2

      Wow brother, would love to hear that story! Hope you have a good marriage now!

    • @pcharm3711
      @pcharm3711 7 місяців тому +3

      So what you're saying is you and your wife wouldn't be together if you knew what you knew now?

    • @joywebster2678
      @joywebster2678 7 місяців тому +1

      cate thanks i watched my sister force my Christian parents to let her marry at 18 to her Christian boyfriend. ✝️ but i was 5 yrs younger and inwatched her throw physical tantrums, hysterical fits, on and on, until my parents gave in. her 21 yr old husband had his hands full, trying to keep her going tonwork as was agreed until kids. I watched and said poor man. No way she was ready for marriage, or motherhood when it came. If he'd walked away until she'd grown up, they likely wouldn't have chosen each other. She walked out when her 2 kids were early teens. Both left Church, so followed the teens.

    • @christinajose285
      @christinajose285 7 місяців тому

      ​@@joywebster2678yes and yet men love chasing women as young as they can get them.

    • @carriefawcett9990
      @carriefawcett9990 7 місяців тому +2

      Wow, your poor wife. Does she know you're on the internet essentially telling strangers you regret marrying her? If I was her I'd feel so betrayed and gutted at that.

  • @BecauseWhyNot660
    @BecauseWhyNot660 7 місяців тому +102

    Before I got married, I told my husband: God, horses, dogs, and Iron Maiden. That's all a part of me. It made me who I am. If you don't like it, leave. Thirty years later, we're still married. He gets annoyed with my horses, dogs, and Iron Maiden, but it's all part of me. So, there. 😅

    • @kencurtis2403
      @kencurtis2403 7 місяців тому +19

      My husband and I have very few shared interests or hobbies (yes I am female despite the name). But we love each other and it works for us. We do have similar values and that’s maybe why we have been happily married for 35 years.

    • @0num4
      @0num4 7 місяців тому +5

      🤘🤘up the irons!

    • @BecauseWhyNot660
      @BecauseWhyNot660 7 місяців тому +1

      @@0num4 yes!

    • @BlackStump172
      @BlackStump172 6 місяців тому +6

      @@kencurtis2403Same here with 47 years . We share the same morals and ethics , but most other things are opposite. It works well .

    • @ChelGriffith
      @ChelGriffith 3 місяці тому +1

      This is adorable. 😊

  • @anonymouse9833
    @anonymouse9833 7 місяців тому +95

    The girlfriend from the first call is a walking red flag, she needs to work on herself before she can be in a healthy relationship.
    Weaponizing your insecurities to control and manipulate your partner is _so wrong_

  • @DanielleFerreira-kt7ix
    @DanielleFerreira-kt7ix 7 місяців тому +255

    Caller 1: Bro, please, run away from this crazy girl!!! Please!!! People like this will kill your soul!!!

    • @bettyhappschatt3467
      @bettyhappschatt3467 7 місяців тому +7

      Yes, some good people can be too much baggage.

    • @lilinsulatorchick9665
      @lilinsulatorchick9665 7 місяців тому +1

      As fast as your hairy little legs will take you!! 😂

    • @toosense
      @toosense 7 місяців тому +7

      That’s exactly what she wants to do, get between him and Christ. Wicked stuff.

    • @olgabalakshina1410
      @olgabalakshina1410 7 місяців тому

      @@bettyhappschatt3467 secret testing lack of trust and manipulation are not the signs of good people, those are the signs of quite broken people who need to go to therapy instead of torturing others with distrust and manipulation

    • @BlackStump172
      @BlackStump172 6 місяців тому +1

      @@bettyhappschatt3467She is not good people .

  • @audreywineland1426
    @audreywineland1426 7 місяців тому +110

    Finally!! JD tells caller to RUN!! About time.

    • @MTLV100
      @MTLV100 7 місяців тому +5

      I know, I’m surprised. There are other calls where suggests the marriage can be repaired and I’m screaming RUN!

    • @NN-bt3vg
      @NN-bt3vg 6 місяців тому +10

      ​@@MTLV100yes but he's a Christian, so trying to save the marriage is the first priority.

    • @robertfishter2862
      @robertfishter2862 6 місяців тому

      The first caller was not married.​@@MTLV100

    • @BlackStump172
      @BlackStump172 6 місяців тому +6

      @@NN-bt3vgThe first priority should be safety of body and mind .

  • @ThereIsNoDSoTM
    @ThereIsNoDSoTM 7 місяців тому +31

    Dr. John is more than a Doctor and podcaster. An under-appreciated trait of his is that he's an incredible role model. This dude shows incredible integrity, and I watch him just in hopes of some of it to influence my own behaviors. What an amazing gift to be able to experience this show... in more ways than one.

  • @joshdh46
    @joshdh46 7 місяців тому +168

    First caller, this girls in-laws will be worse than her, she got that shame from somewhere!

    • @DeeLee-p8c
      @DeeLee-p8c 7 місяців тому +1

      We are

    • @joshdh46
      @joshdh46 6 місяців тому

      @@DeeLee-p8c I believe you

    • @BlackStump172
      @BlackStump172 6 місяців тому

      She is a backstabber and is a liar who will blame him for her lies . Next time find someone who accepts him and is not a vicious biatch .

    • @joshdh46
      @joshdh46 4 місяці тому

      @@DeeLee-p8c I believe you

  • @miz6229
    @miz6229 7 місяців тому +138

    Run! Run from any partner, female/male, who want to test you. It's not you. It's her/him.

    • @LeahMarshals22
      @LeahMarshals22 7 місяців тому

      No. I disagree. Test someone before you marry them. I’m not agreeing that this crazy wacko woman is doing anything right. She’s messed up. But you should totally do research/testing before you marry someone. Especially if you have children!

    • @rhondasihocky7212
      @rhondasihocky7212 7 місяців тому

      My husband use to do this to me and I would always fail but I never cared I would laugh about it. We have been married 32 years.

    • @elfascisto6549
      @elfascisto6549 7 місяців тому +2

      Blind faith in a stranger is naive

    • @Aeoniik
      @Aeoniik 7 місяців тому

      Theyve been thru h3ll n back and will never be satisfied with you if they need to constantly “test” you, theyve lost their basic faith in the oppossite gender due to choosing bad partners in orevious relationships

  • @AndiAlexander1
    @AndiAlexander1 7 місяців тому +75

    Easton you didn’t even mention once how much you love her or how excited you are to build a life with her. Regardless of her actions, you’re not all in. Let it go. You can find a better relationship.

    • @timschmidt3784
      @timschmidt3784 7 місяців тому +15

      He knew it was over before talking to Dr. John. He just wanted confirmation.

    • @nt3833
      @nt3833 7 місяців тому +6

      Good point!

  • @amandalopez5655
    @amandalopez5655 7 місяців тому +87

    “For the people who just think I’m the worst person ever, thank you for taking the time to write in” 😂 love that 😂😂😂😂

    • @tentrickspony8925
      @tentrickspony8925 7 місяців тому +3

      Are you the tester girlfriend wife person?😂
      Maybe self test for a change

    • @JennieC21
      @JennieC21 7 місяців тому +5

      I love his humour and all the random funny stuff he says 😂
      He’s makes me laugh out loud often 😂

  • @Dark_Souls_3
    @Dark_Souls_3 7 місяців тому +46

    Trust is not built through internal testing, but external testing where you two come together

    • @Diametricallyopposed00
      @Diametricallyopposed00 7 місяців тому +8

      Well put.

    • @0num4
      @0num4 7 місяців тому +5

      100% agree. Walking through the fire together, and coming out the other side having shared that experience, is how the strongest bonds are built.

    • @marksimmons7906
      @marksimmons7906 7 місяців тому +3

      This is so true. Especially when it comes to trauma you experience together. In our case having a kid with chronic medical needs has tested us both and thankfully we do pass the test pretty darn well.

    • @helianabanes4875
      @helianabanes4875 3 місяці тому +2

      Yeah. Trust is a choice. Constantly testing your partner is saying, "I don't trust you." And probably that you never will. It is sad, and your partner absolutely should not be treated as an opponent, a child, a student. If you feel that energy in your relationship, pull back, and review because it shouldn't be there.

  • @nikkita1688
    @nikkita1688 7 місяців тому +158

    Caller 1, johns right. This girl is way too insecure and should not be testing her equal like a child. Life is too short to live with an uptight karen who plays emotional games. What if you did that to her? Bet she wouldnt be happy!

    • @jackdeniston6150
      @jackdeniston6150 7 місяців тому

      He is her Superior

    • @FreeSpirit47
      @FreeSpirit47 7 місяців тому +1

      @@jackdeniston6150 🤣

    • @FreeSpirit47
      @FreeSpirit47 7 місяців тому +1

      The caller never said his girlfriends name is Karen.

    • @nyapayton7087
      @nyapayton7087 7 місяців тому +8

      I don't agree with her telling him what music he shouldn't shouldn't be listening to, but from what he said he crossed some boundaries within the relationship as well, so he's not 100% innocent either

    • @IFBBProYeo
      @IFBBProYeo 7 місяців тому +2

      I think you're on to something!! Maybe this is something her parents did to her! Maybe that's how she was raised and she's passing on some toxic lineage... Her insecurities & issues are coming from somewhere

  • @michellelee487
    @michellelee487 7 місяців тому +63

    The first caller. You dodged a bullet. You’re too good for her.

  • @millap779
    @millap779 7 місяців тому +32

    Caller #1, I've been in a similar situation. It was very hard for me to let go, but eventually he married someone else. It took me a while to recover, but I am married to the best man in the world. He is my friend, he respects me and treats me right...and most importantly he doesn't manipulate me.

  • @Nodalities
    @Nodalities 7 місяців тому +37

    The growth of this show is because of the compassion of everyone involved. Thanks!

  • @georgemubanga1878
    @georgemubanga1878 7 місяців тому +336

    Keeps searching my guy. She's not the one

    • @Will-ef2tw
      @Will-ef2tw 7 місяців тому

      Dtb dump that bih

    • @gambers20001
      @gambers20001 7 місяців тому +7

      You are so right

    • @jeremyzamorano4774
      @jeremyzamorano4774 7 місяців тому +8

      That’s a dangerous trap to fall into my friend. People that are hurt will hurt other people. Trust in Jesus who offers love that nothing else can offer.

    • @dsmolks1
      @dsmolks1 7 місяців тому +1

      🚩

    • @Hawaii567
      @Hawaii567 7 місяців тому

      She’s a complete wacko 😂 can’t imagine what her parents were like

  • @ginacastaldo2651
    @ginacastaldo2651 6 місяців тому +19

    "whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa...dude run from this" I almost laughed. So true. No BS. I love this guy lol.

  • @angrynoodle37
    @angrynoodle37 7 місяців тому +9

    Never feel guilt for setting boundaries. Protect your peace of mind at all costs. Those who love you will understand. Those who dont, dont respect you.

  • @elainebmack
    @elainebmack 7 місяців тому +19

    No matter what he does, she will never be happy. You want a mate, a partner, not a boss/manager. This man is walking in field full of landmines.

  • @Hechab
    @Hechab 7 місяців тому +68

    Call 1 Jesus Christ that is toxic and immature. What a warped Christian world view as well. She thought it would be a good idea to test his convictions and even faith by tempting him herself? That is a HUGE betrayal. Good riddance.

    • @jude8943
      @jude8943 7 місяців тому +6

      I'm a Christian and my wife and I waited for our wedding night, but I completely agree with you. The dude should run as fast as his legs will carry him.

    • @dazza8551
      @dazza8551 7 місяців тому

      The call is about Christian relationship yet you're so insensitive that you use Jesus's name as a cuss word, would you use your mother's name as a cuss word?! Why not use Mohammed's name?! How can you dishonour the name of someone that literally died in your place for your sins so you can go to heaven, so EVIL! No one else's name in the history of humanity has been used as a swear word by Jesus's name, that says something, the devil got the whole world to dishonour the name of their Saviour!

    • @dazza8551
      @dazza8551 7 місяців тому +4

      Do not use the name of our precious Lord and Saviour who died for our sins so we can spend eternity in heaven as a swear word! So disrespectful!

    • @cterp911
      @cterp911 7 місяців тому

      @@dazza8551go touch grass

    • @Hechab
      @Hechab 7 місяців тому +5

      @@dazza8551 welcome to the internet. You can’t be everyone’s mom. You’re fortunate I’m not most vitriolic users.

  • @churrymurray
    @churrymurray 7 місяців тому +13

    To the lady married to recovering alcoholic:
    Getting sober is the hardest thing he has ever done probably. Alcohol was medicating a problem. Take away the alcohol and he is a live nerve. Going out in public is like getting that nerve smacked over and over. It's REALLY hard. Myself, i have noticed that my personality started coming back after many years sober and therapy. It takes time. There is a lot of damage

  • @millim408
    @millim408 7 місяців тому +20

    I was married to an alcoholic and he was obnoxious when he drank, but when he wasn’t drinking he was irritable. Its sad because before he started drinking we got along so well. I am no longer with him because I dont drink and I grew up seeing how alcoholics acted and never wanted that for me. I would have loved for him to am stop drinking but he still does.

  • @analozada9475
    @analozada9475 7 місяців тому +17

    I’m a recovered people pleaser, so I totally understand how the second caller feels. I just learned to let things go and fade away naturally. Not everyone is meant to stay in our lives forever. Everyone serves different purposes in our lives, and when it’s over, it’s over. No need to announce my departure if we aren’t super duper close friends or family members.

    • @JustDiane71
      @JustDiane71 6 місяців тому

      @analozada9475 as a people pleaser please what is your secret?!? I try and try but keep falling back into it. I figure I should just keep trying and sooner or later it will be the norm.

  • @Piccolo_Re
    @Piccolo_Re 7 місяців тому +22

    If you have to put up with a girl who “tests” you. Dump her. Life is already stressful enough with careers. Why would you want a girl who brings more stress into your life? This is why you don’t date a girl just based off of looks. I don’t see what this dude sees in this girl if she makes his life miserable everyday other than him being there for looks.

  • @magdalenaz4395
    @magdalenaz4395 7 місяців тому +8

    1st caller: please respect yourself and walk away, you will meet wonderful girl one day and thank God and your self that you left this one. It is going to be insane, she is not mentally stable and very insecure, don't be the one that she will destroy. She is a big red flag, dr John is right! Save yourself, you have one life!!

  • @jenniferhermanson8969
    @jenniferhermanson8969 5 місяців тому +2

    I think it is so admirable that when she complained about the music he actually reflected on it. He didn’t dismiss her concerns without thought. Just from that you know this boy knows how to love and if he looks hard enough he will find an amazing woman to share his life with

  • @jessicabender1301
    @jessicabender1301 7 місяців тому +23

    Easton! Run. Run. Run far away. Christian woman married a long time. She is cray cray.

    • @mightymouse1005
      @mightymouse1005 7 місяців тому

      It has NOTHING to do with being Christian. She's TOXIC, controlling and needs to go

  • @kristyhughes3146
    @kristyhughes3146 Місяць тому +3

    There is "having convictions" and then there is acting like you have convictions as a way to control/manipulate another person.

  • @dsmolks1
    @dsmolks1 7 місяців тому +63

    Just realized that the W in Show appears to be a “rock on” sign 🤘🏼
    …genius

    • @MrsTorches
      @MrsTorches 7 місяців тому +6

      It's the little things with this show! 😅

    • @shalombondar177
      @shalombondar177 7 місяців тому +6

      He also wears shirts from gear companies. Orange amps. Seymour Duncan.

    • @merricat3025
      @merricat3025 7 місяців тому +6

      I never noticed that

    • @0num4
      @0num4 7 місяців тому +4

      @@shalombondar177 and he has a Marshall box behind him.

    • @0num4
      @0num4 7 місяців тому +2

      🤘🤘 Made famous by the late, great Ronnie James Dio. He learned it from his Italian grandmother, who used it as a sign of warding off evil. He turned it into the iconic "long live rock n roll!" we now know, during his days with Rainbow, Black Sabbath, and his solo band, Dio.

  • @adamva3345
    @adamva3345 7 місяців тому +5

    I had just flown across the country when I found out my wife went to the ER. I moved heaven and earth to get back. Can’t imagine that mindset!

  • @brightpage1020
    @brightpage1020 7 місяців тому +33

    Whoa - 1st caller: she has to tell him what music is ok for him to listen to? Shouldn’t that be his choice for himself?

    • @mightymouse1005
      @mightymouse1005 7 місяців тому +8

      It's not about music, it's about CONTROL. People like that will find fault with everything you. Do.
      His family, friends, education, etc. will be under attack until he does exactly what she wants.
      You can never please these people because,, if you change something, they focus on something else. Soon, there's no YOU left.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 6 місяців тому +1

      It is about control

  • @KarinaMalpica-i3o
    @KarinaMalpica-i3o 7 місяців тому +26

    To the first caller, you will ALWAYS be a test subject, those test never finish. If she’s not ok with just that video, how is she going to feel when you do have to be train some females? Have this in mind, She will try to isolate you from anyone she does not like. She seems to have some Narcissist traits.

    • @FreeSpirit47
      @FreeSpirit47 7 місяців тому

      Every Q has their Picard.

    • @jude8943
      @jude8943 7 місяців тому

      He'll only be allowed to train men and overweight and unattractive women 😂 when I went to school for physical therapy my wife cringed a little bit at the thought of me treating women but she had a healthy and appropriate attitude towards it, that's why I love her.

  • @Harpylady269
    @Harpylady269 7 місяців тому +4

    Caller 3: it reminded me that after I had a mental breakdown and upheaved our whole lives for months, once I felt better I took my husband out on dates. He was not doing OK, that's a whole other thing that we addressed later. But never doubt the power of dating your spouse for connection.

  • @bobbyglendinning2406
    @bobbyglendinning2406 7 місяців тому +8

    Sounds like my Ex to a point. RUN AWAY! When you meet the right girl (like I did) it will be night and day difference! Best wishes.

  • @finngamesknudson1457
    @finngamesknudson1457 7 місяців тому +17

    Just from thumbnail description, this guy needs to dump her - unless he enjoys being a failure. She will never be happy with him and will rob him of all self esteem and self confidence. Lacking those qualities will make it infinitely harder for him to succeed outside the relationship as well.

  • @parks105
    @parks105 7 місяців тому +17

    Caller #1 - Run man. Run FAR FAR AWAY!!!!!!!!

  • @lakehairdontcare3398
    @lakehairdontcare3398 5 місяців тому +2

    I had no idea so many people do not have real vulnerable, honest, open communication with their spouses. This is work, hard internal work you have to put in.
    It seems our society needs a wake up call on what it takes to be a spouse. I send love to all people trying to figure this out.

  • @amathans
    @amathans 7 місяців тому +11

    I’m not sexist but I’m not used to a man being full of knowledge and advice regarding issues and feelings etc. I’m not usually one for listening to other peoples problems. However I really enjoy this show and can’t stop watching for some reason. Great show. It’s nice to see a man who’s not afraid to talk about things like this. It’s excellent it’s a man is highly educated and qualified and great at this job. I would hope it is inspirational for all men and promote men opening up and talking about issues and feelings openly. It’s nice to hear men opening up and talking to John.

    • @joywebster2678
      @joywebster2678 7 місяців тому +3

      I think that John is open about his own failings early on as a partner, makes him more authentic to listen to as well.

  • @starlingswallow
    @starlingswallow 7 місяців тому +10

    Love this show❤
    2nd caller~ I would suggest sitting with your hubby and being a little curious about the CT he's into. You don't have to _believe_ all of them, or ANY of them, but coming alongside him with curiosity will make a huge difference. Judging him will push him away...
    John, I love you, and you are for the most part, GREAT at not judging or alienating people. I am a "Conspiracy Theorist" and when I first fell down the rabbit hole, I will admit that I got lost a bit...it was addictive!!! Over time, I've regulated this addiction. Now, it's a normal level of curiosity and concern for our world. I know not everyone evens out....
    I would like to lovingly and respectfully suggest that you not poke _fun_ at peoples differing beliefs. I can completely understand people who don't believe in certain things, just like religion, and show them respect through how I respond to those differing believes. I wish you could in this area! I don't want you to lose listeners! I get that you don't believe them, totally, but all I ask is that you think about how that could be landing on people.
    I adore you and this show and I'm a daily listener! You've helped me SO much in many areas of life and I've shared many of your videos when I've thought it would help or encourage someone. ❤
    A big thank you to the entire Dr. John team! 🥰

  • @AbbaJoy1
    @AbbaJoy1 7 місяців тому +2

    Caller #2-- This is so important and I'm glad he addressed this! I've had a couple friends that I now know are described as high maintenance. Both of them (years apart) had told me that their former closest friend said to them that "God told them to stop spending time with them." And I thought, " Oh, that's an easy way out. I wish God would tell me that!" But I really needed John's common sense. Be an adult and don't feel like I have to be controlled (the "go to," the people pleaser.)

  • @vannisworld
    @vannisworld 7 місяців тому +4

    Second caller: ive been through that exact same situation. I had to end my first real friendship of 15 years, due to it becoming one sided and toxic. It was hard letting it go, but the other side of not having the anxiety attached to the friendship is better than any memory i have with them. Its hard, but dr.john is right. Do whats right for you.

  • @Alli8833
    @Alli8833 7 місяців тому +6

    I had to dump a good friend once. I felt things had been going kind of downhill between us when we spent time together. I was struggling to enjoy time with him, and actually he had started to gross me out with certain behaviours as well. Then the real clincher happened: he revealed that he had cheated on his lovely wife several times. That changed the way I saw him completely. He wasn't the kind of person I thought he was. That was the last straw for me, and I wasn't going to be able to keep just blowing him off. The next time he asked to hang out I just basically said I didn't feel like we were vibing with each other anymore. That's all it took to never hear from him ever again. It was kind of uncomfortable, but it was also so easy, really. Nobody is going to persist if you tell them you don't think you're enjoying time with them anymore!

    • @shb8212
      @shb8212 7 місяців тому +1

      You've got some integrity 👏

  • @mandocampos98
    @mandocampos98 4 місяці тому +1

    The bit about not fighting in front of your kids!!!!!! I agree so freakin much on that, do not lie to your children about fighting!!! People in love will grind gears! It’s supposed to happen, I totally agree, don’t be fricking ridiculous in front of your kids, but let them know disagreements happen and can be resolved fast with understanding

  • @lachannajones
    @lachannajones 7 місяців тому +12

    I remember when Dr. John had 291,000 subscribers now he's close to 1,000,000...
    AWESOME...!!!

  • @BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat
    @BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat 7 місяців тому +11

    This show is awesome! Thank you Dr. JOHN & TEAM!

  • @essenceaquarius9958
    @essenceaquarius9958 7 місяців тому +9

    The first caller's girlfriend sounds exhausting to deal with!

  • @peterlee584
    @peterlee584 7 місяців тому +8

    The 1st caller's girlfriend sounds like an immature, manipulative control freak who uses Faith as a weapon. He should move on. Run fast, run far.

  • @samanthasmiles9112
    @samanthasmiles9112 7 місяців тому +15

    My husband grew up in a home where he was extremely controlled and wasn't allowed to listen to "secular" music or watch any kind of current movies. His upbringing was TOXIC and did a lot of damage to his mental state. This girl has serious issues. Imagine raising children with this woman. RUN, dude. Run.

    • @sashalawrence4786
      @sashalawrence4786 7 місяців тому

      Not consuming secular content leads to mental illness ? How well does that logic work for the high level of societal dysfunction we are experiencing? Secularism isnt the answer. You’re reaching.

  • @Lizs.Tallent
    @Lizs.Tallent 7 місяців тому +2

    My parents had arguments in the 80s lol. I’ve never heard anything like that. All my friends parents fought in the 80s. I’m so happy Dr. John said to stop her kids going on UA-cam.

  • @patcat91
    @patcat91 7 місяців тому +9

    I don't see anything wrong with being prepared for the worst, but hoping for the best. I have bug out bags for me and my wife and 3 months of dry food as well. It is better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

    • @snopure
      @snopure 7 місяців тому +3

      Honestly, it's wise to be prepared especially if you live in a disaster-prone area. Now that we know what the general response would be during a pandemic, it's wise to put some stuff aside anyway.

    • @alberttang6955
      @alberttang6955 7 місяців тому +2

      I have a bug out bag in case evacuation is the only option, but I don't have a place to bug out to, like a cabin in the mountains. Even if I did, reaching a remote destination during a time of mass panic would be hairy. My nightmare scenario is getting stuck on the highway along with thousands of other vehicles, everyone running out of gas, food, and water as traffic grinds to a permanent standstill. My best bet is to hunker down at home where I have food, water, and defense tools cached. And I can rely on alliances with neighbors I have known for many years.

    • @champagne4bfast
      @champagne4bfast 6 місяців тому +1

      Exactly. I have entire friend groups who can spend hours talking through how the next apocalypse will go down and prepping for it. FYI: people…make most of your plans skill-based. A whole bunch of food is useless if you can’t grow/produce more plus sewing plus building. That’s my 2 cents.

  • @brightpage1020
    @brightpage1020 7 місяців тому +8

    Man, the right person if they set you up will set you up to win. Not to constantly lose so they can test you again. That is ridiculous. The fact that she feels your convictions are her responsibility to manage is a huge red flag. She can accept how you express yours or she can find somebody who makes her more comfortable, which won’t be many because men don’t appreciate being controlled and most grown ups recognize that level of control issue as extreme insecurity. She needs to focus on building herself up rather than tearing you down. She might not realize how great she is so she’s co ing across as arrogant and entitled. Never a good look on anybody.

  • @inezsanchez1034
    @inezsanchez1034 7 місяців тому +9

    I’m so heart broken for this man. That’s such a spirit of jezebel, to manipulate and cause confusion and belittle you. She sounds so legalistic. I’m so sorry for him. I really hope he finds a a woman with a gentle and loving spirit. 💛

    • @susynn
      @susynn 6 місяців тому

      💯 my thoughts through that call

  • @nicolab2075
    @nicolab2075 7 місяців тому +4

    Anyone wondering why, if he failed her test, she's still there with him?
    Because the test wasn't to find out whether they're good together, it was to show him she's superior to him.
    It sounds as though she's very insecure.

  • @cm4541
    @cm4541 7 місяців тому +3

    In a marriage there are so many trials that will hit your blind side on a random Tuesday from the outside world. You don't need those tests regularly scheduled and sprung from inside your marriage. Life is not a TikTok, find someone with you for the whole epic.

  • @PrescottCaliberClub
    @PrescottCaliberClub 7 місяців тому +2

    This was a cool end of the episode because I am the pepper type. My son is 7 and he's been around me and all my stuff for years. But he has no idea WHY we would ever need to survive without electricity or whatever. I've always framed all of it as "camping" gear and we do hunt, so hunting gear. He has a go bag but again, he's never been told why other than if we go camping. It's been a good way to prep and raise a kid. We've also taken the time to raise chickens and teach him all of the lessons around that, we've learned together to garden which has been fun for both of us. We build solar grids and our own power walls so he gets to see and "help" with the electrical stuff. We have a cabin that we've made completely off grid, it has a septic system and I built a solar grid for it so it has power. It's in the heart of Elk Country in the AZ High Desert, but we spend a lot of time there where he learns every lesson imaginable from construction and plumbing to making fires and shooting his 10/22. We also go camping where he has learned how to cut firewood and split it and how to safely whittle on a stick so he's always making pokers for marshmallows or "spears" lol. We also have both been training jiujitsu for 2.5 years 2-4 days/week so now the kid is a trained fighter too haha. Anyway, my point being that the end of this episode was cool to hear Dr. John's advice because that's exactly how I handled it and I've thought it was a great way to raise my son and this just kind of confirmed it. I like his "911 it's time to go" phrase. I know mine would listen, we have plans fore certain things but to have that plan is a great idea! GREAT EPISODE!!!

  • @jenniferhuerta9824
    @jenniferhuerta9824 Місяць тому +1

    Easton! The faces I was making. Wow wow wow. You sound like an amazing man and you will find an amazing person that’s just right for you! GOD BLESS!

  • @CHrisPetE056
    @CHrisPetE056 7 місяців тому +3

    Easton ❤❤!!! Nooo nooo. That’s not right. She can’t control you until you cannot think on your own. And testing you! That’s not right. You deserve a person to live with to live life with to share things. Omg. What lies ahead for you together? 😢. She’s not a nice person. You can fix your heart and move forward. As you consider all the bullets you have dodged…it will get easier and easier. ❤ I’ll pray for you, a smile because she’s not the one and you will thrive moving forward. ❤❤

  • @vaska1999
    @vaska1999 7 місяців тому +1

    If you get back together with this person, she will always hold that one event against you as proof of your weakness of character or "sinfulness". Please do yourself justice and refuse to be manipulated by someone who'd stoop so low as to deliberately tempt you.

  • @neisci
    @neisci 7 місяців тому +6

    First caller: she will drive you crazy, you will always find yourself explaining, justifying "being tested" that's no way to live. She'll suffocate you. Because religious people dont date much, often times they end up marrying crazy. Yes it can happen to anyone, but this specific group...

  • @annbaker2950
    @annbaker2950 7 місяців тому +3

    RUN.

  • @RG-hf4et
    @RG-hf4et 4 місяці тому +2

    My mother was a control freak & my dad went along with whatever she said/beta. They were married for 65 yesrs. I don't know how my father put up with my mother ar times. He was old school "until death do us part". She was very controlling with us 4 kids as well & we all couldn't wait to get out of the house growing up. Living together was not a choice back then. We all in turn got married too young & all got divorced. Just mentioning this to anyone out there who sees early signs of manipulative & controlling behaviors. These only get worse over time. Run from these personalities. My mom passed away 5 years ago at age 87 & to be honest, I don't miss her at all. I really don't. I have peace. I don't have to listen to her unrequested opinions & and question my every move. Since her passing, I am now enjoying taking care of my 91 year old dad, who is truly a sweet soul. I am finally able to spend quality one on one time with him. He has been my rock my entire life & I am very, very lucky to have him as my dad. He has been the best dad ever & I could never be at peace if I didn't take care of him in his old age. ❤

  • @elizabethparsons1990
    @elizabethparsons1990 7 місяців тому +1

    Only John would publicly thank the haters! Love the show!

  • @goatfrog6364
    @goatfrog6364 7 місяців тому +13

    It means she doesn't respect you and wants out of the relationship. But does not want to be the one to break things up. So she picks a fight hoping you'll lose your cool so she can have an excuse to leave even though she's been done for a while.
    Find a woman that is easy going and easy to get along with. Life is too short for unnecessary drama.

  • @brightpage1020
    @brightpage1020 7 місяців тому +9

    Ha ha ha Kelly with “I’m going to?” That was awesome 😎 🤩 🤩 Kelly’s Producer Style Gangsta’! Watch out! She got your number, Dr. D. Love your dynamic. It’s playful and fun. Especially appreciate that perspective on more serious topic shows. Much appreciated. Thank you!

  • @snowwhite2709
    @snowwhite2709 7 місяців тому +4

    You cant be with someone who controls, micromanages, plays games and goes out of their way to find fault. It will never end good. Better to walk away now.

  • @christysplaine9779
    @christysplaine9779 12 днів тому

    It's all about the curiosity to learn who we are and giving the grace of acceptance of our differences.

  • @NrsChapel
    @NrsChapel 7 місяців тому +4

    The moral dilemma I feel about the slow fade-out with friends is that it seems inauthentic to keep avoiding invitations and calls without a direct conversation. It feels dishonest, as if one day I will want to hang out again when the truth is I just want to move on. I don’t like loose ends. I don’t think making a big ordeal is the answer, either. Who knows! Lol! 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @shb8212
      @shb8212 7 місяців тому +1

      You are right. And you could be causing distress and harm to another person by ghosting. I really hate our society going down this path of treating people like they are nothing.

  • @cwalker6911
    @cwalker6911 6 місяців тому +1

    Lisa’s story was literally mine today and I’m so thankful for this feedback Dr D 😊

  • @LauraSnow-in3nx
    @LauraSnow-in3nx 7 місяців тому +6

    To that first color, maybe she should read the part in the Bible where it says Don’t tempt people With sin. I feel so bad for this guy and I absolutely think he needs to break it off and don’t go back. She Just has a problem with everything

  • @audrabreer4910
    @audrabreer4910 6 місяців тому +3

    It's so rich that caller 1's ex-girlfriend literally LIED to him to "test" him. I'm assuming that lying goes against her values, too... But it's fine for her to lie for a "gotcha!" moment against her boyfriend?????

  • @mariaking4950
    @mariaking4950 7 місяців тому +7

    She's very scared of life possibly because of a super strict background.....so she is trying to control him completely, because she doesn't know how to deal with anything that might lead her "astray" but in so doing she is dismissing many aspects of life that are rich and rewarding, fun and controversial.
    Not for you, my friend, don't hang around any longer.

    • @mightymouse1005
      @mightymouse1005 7 місяців тому

      She's trying to mold him into a version of HER. To be exactly like her and have no mind, thoughts or opinions of his own.

    • @alycewich4472
      @alycewich4472 7 місяців тому

      Maybe she has had a super strict upbringing, but that doesn't make it right to criticize and manipulate using her "christian" identity. The Pharisees did that and Jesus gave them His harshest words and, at one point turned over the moneychangers tables and drove everyone out of the temple for their twisting of their religious acts in public, claiming to be holy when they were the worst of sinners. As Dr John says, Behavior is a language.
      She's testing and manipulating him. Run, young man, run! You cannot save her only Jesus can do that. She will eventually destroy you until you are a shell of yourself. Find a woman that honors Jesus Christ and is humble in spirit as Jesus is. There you will find a great treasure.

  • @DestinyA83
    @DestinyA83 6 місяців тому +1

    Girl Dumps Ex BFF:
    Sounds kinda childish to me. My BFF and I are 40 now, neither of us call or text when we visit each other's current area's but we still have been besties since 7th grade.
    If I felt an obligation that strong to keep her from "leaving me" the pressure would likely cause me to totally disengage from that point forward.
    We live 45 min away from each other but we only get together once every 5 years.
    Busy busy busy.
    I don't love her any less, and if she calls me at 3 am because her husband of 20 yrs is cheating, I'll drive to be with her if that's what she needs.
    Love you Snoopy lol

  • @JoyleiaJo
    @JoyleiaJo 7 місяців тому +3

    ❤ the transparency of this Intro!!!!

  • @OWUchii
    @OWUchii 7 місяців тому +8

    Red flags all around sir, understand she bases her opinion about you are based on her opinion. (feelings)

  • @Bav92
    @Bav92 7 місяців тому +8

    On the flip side for the last caller:
    Put yourself into the shoes of your husband. He gave up drinking and started seriously thinking about the future and how he can protect his family. And you’re o it here “ohHhHh but I want to go to the winery on the weeekend”. He probably feels like he’s finally got his life together and she’s dragging him down.

    • @chetSeminole
      @chetSeminole 7 місяців тому +2

      But a true doomsdayer is hard core. Living on edge that "it's go time" is a hard way for a child to have to live. I think she was concerned for his mental stability.

    • @tinajernigan1728
      @tinajernigan1728 7 місяців тому

      She is definitely dragging him down or beating him down.

    • @Bav92
      @Bav92 7 місяців тому +1

      @@chetSeminoleyes for sure he needs to not let his family feel the anxiety but have them live in peace knowing their dad’s got a solution for any future problem. Just a change of messaging really

    • @lenitaa7938
      @lenitaa7938 7 місяців тому

      I don’t agree that she is ‘dragging him down’!
      She wanted him to join in on a family holiday, but he refused!
      In re to a winery, she said they used to do this together! They need ti find new ways to enjoy themselves, new hobbies, etc!
      It’s odd that he didn’t want to go with them on a holiday ! I wonder if he is depressed !

  • @LauraSnow-in3nx
    @LauraSnow-in3nx 7 місяців тому +4

    To that second caller.
    You are not someone’s Xanax. They need to be able to cope with their own life & it’s ok to walk away from a friend hip that’s only one sided which this one seemed to be.

  • @leahegipcialita13
    @leahegipcialita13 7 місяців тому +3

    RUN

  • @JusttRaquel
    @JusttRaquel 7 місяців тому +1

    Everyone will mess up .. but the show will still be great!! You are human yay!

  • @TheSwordandPearl
    @TheSwordandPearl 7 місяців тому +4

    Be with a man who understands Why waiting is important cause that's a man who understands spiritual truth and who will protect you properly 💯

  • @jangrosemartindale8740
    @jangrosemartindale8740 7 місяців тому +1

    R John was RIGHT: RUN! Manipulation, control, game playing

  • @lilys7431
    @lilys7431 7 місяців тому +5

    No sir don’t do it, she is not nearly grown up enough.

  • @dreamcrazy37
    @dreamcrazy37 7 місяців тому +2

    Needed to ask the woman about her drinking habits . I gave up drinking and my life completely changed and it’s like my personality went with it because that WAS my personality . It’s a hard one

  • @aleksandrag_s_4134
    @aleksandrag_s_4134 7 місяців тому +2

    The 3rd call was sooo powerful. I love the show 💛

  • @b.r.7079
    @b.r.7079 7 місяців тому +1

    People planning on any relationship, Do this , be honest and be very open with your communication , don't hold anything back especially if you plan on getting married, and if you see a flaw, don't deceive yourself by saying ,HE OR SHE WILL CHANGE FOR ME.

    • @alycewich4472
      @alycewich4472 7 місяців тому +1

      Because once you're married, you find out the real person and it might not be who you thought they were.

  • @farfallina16
    @farfallina16 7 місяців тому +1

    That poor lady in the "am I the problem" at the end, that made me so mad - her husband needs to grow up! My husband went to the hospital the week before Easter, ended up needing life saving surgery, and was in two different hospitals for a total of two weeks. I rearranged everything so I could be with him in the day and with our four kids at night for three days. When he was transferred 2 hours away for surgery, I did two 4 hour round trip drives to visit, as well as staying overnight for the surgery, and drove to pick him up the day after a nasty snowstorm, past downed lines and trees, while we still had no power or internet at home, when he was finally discharged. Was it convenient? Absolutely not! Did I have any doubts that I needed to be there? No! When you get married, you sign up to show up.

  • @FaithFallRepentGraceRepeat
    @FaithFallRepentGraceRepeat 7 місяців тому +1

    It’s not about what music you listen to; it’s about what’s in your heart. Most people don’t take on the non-religious views of the artists in secular music. If they do; that’s not a music problem- it’s a heart & spirituality issue. Spend more time with God than secular music.

  • @PatriciaDesjardins-t8o
    @PatriciaDesjardins-t8o 2 місяці тому

    Such a thoughtful mature young man,there is someone wonderful waiting for you out there,please move on from this girl

  • @Not_alike_59
    @Not_alike_59 6 місяців тому +1

    I have just discovered this channel today and it’s excellent. Kudos

  • @celiapolman5618
    @celiapolman5618 7 місяців тому +3

    First call is classic example of religiosity… she’s got a lot of religious trauma she probably doesn’t even recognize yet. He definitely dodged a bullet by realizing this is harmful before proposing and getting married!

  • @glee_again2594
    @glee_again2594 7 місяців тому +2

    Caller 1: Sounds like she wants him to be the one, but he’s not really all she wants-she can’t accept who he is...so she wonders if she can help change him. But it’s not healthy. :/

  • @mrmooch2163
    @mrmooch2163 5 місяців тому

    Never seen john just tell someone to run. But I think it was the best advice he could give. Extreme circumstances cause for extreme advice and measures being taken.

  • @loricoil1732
    @loricoil1732 7 місяців тому

    For breaking up with best friend. For you, it was a friendship, for her it was a covenienceship. She has time for you where she wants to, you had time for her when she needs to. People do friendship differently. You have to match for them to work. AND, all relationships have a purpose, once that purpose is served it starts to falter. We unfortunately we tend to hang on to them too long.

  • @whatthefifty
    @whatthefifty 5 місяців тому

    Dr. John, you nailed this one!!! 💯 RUN, DUDE!

  • @ivonned32
    @ivonned32 7 місяців тому +2

    Good for this dude to have called Dr Delony right on time. After getting married is another level of problem.
    He got saved by the bell!

  • @mbjbeats8192
    @mbjbeats8192 7 місяців тому +1

    no babe who loves you will ever test you, I almost married a "Christian" girl like this, john is right run brother

  • @anicesunset2022
    @anicesunset2022 7 місяців тому +1

    That “am I the problem” is nothing - my aunt-in-law had to fly home to Toronto from Hawaii with severe bowel pain, to get an emergency surgery..and her husband decided to stay in Hawaii.. then he flew to India after that for a “trip of a lifetime”.. instead of being with his sick wife. Crazy!

  • @christines2704
    @christines2704 7 місяців тому

    You metal-ed up! Cool! I like it. It fits you better. I like the artwork in the background, also.