Hey PSYCH-O's! *If you're an INFJ, do you relate to these INFJ Dating struggles? * Comment down below 👇 PS. Don't forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE with a friend! Thank you for all your support 🙏
Ever since I learned about red pill knowledge and the dangers of wemon I've lost faith in lookin for a human partner and I've always wanted an ai for my wife because ai is 100% better than real wemon, they wont become arrogant, they cant get pregnant or fake it, they aren't hypergomus n wont look for a better guy just because I have flaws like being faithful and honest, I've learned so very much about wemon I've grown to fear wemon and dating them because I'm always afraid they'll lie to me n eventually stab me in the back, idgaf if all wemon aren't like that, I'm NOT taking the chance, I'll Never Ever let a girl break my heart, even if I die alone and lonely, its either ai or nothing and everybody else can go screw themselves if they don't like it 😘😄😄😄😄
@@infj-tguy6275 hhhmmm...jaded much? I get it. People suck and not just females. Men are insecure and like to be controlling from my experience. Maybe I should date an AI as well. Maybe you and yours can go on a double date sometime with me and mine 😉😅😅😒
@@shannonsimpson8462 at least you're a woman. I wouldn't wish infj male on anyone, it's way worse especially for dating where all of our "strengths" are viewed as weaknesses with distain.
@@grantog123 we are definitely a mysterious breed. A rare gem. Complicated and at times we come off convoluted. We are a double edged sword that can only be handled with skill. Those with high emotional intelligence. But I love who I am and would rather remain alone than to be average 💖
1. They refuse to settle (for less than what they desire) 2. They rarely make the first move 3. They require someone that can share interests 4. They don't do casual dating 5. They see right through fake traits 6. They enjoy their alone time 7. Their generosity attracts the wrong people 8. They need extra time to feel comfortable 9. They crave deep connection
I'm so scared of dating. I keep attracting narcissists. I didn't realise the link between being an INFJ and being a magnet for narcs. This is so interesting to me :-)
I'm an INTJ that's watching this video because I'm attempting to date an INFJ. I personally struggle with having an inflated sense of self worth. However, I recognize this in myself and consciously fight against that side of my nature. However, when I was younger, I was rather narcissistic. I'd say it's a matter of maturity. But to me, the sincere kindness that I see in the INFJ is why I'm as attracted as I am.
The INFJ I met said her dad is a narcissist and after flinging me around for a month. After admitting she totally played with me she called herself a narcissists. Whatever the case may be I'm not impressed.
(INFJ-A) Dating and finding a quality match can be difficult for us and some of us INFJs give up. Please don't, I can tell you that for us if we find that rare gem of compatibility and depth that it is rewarding beyond measure. I finally found her, it was a long journey but I feel like it was worth all the pain and heartache I suffered along the way. Don't give up, be careful and know your wants and needs so you can filter out the diamonds from the trash. Best wishes.
INFJ here.. Dating was quite difficult, it is true. I was usually very awkward, and had a hard time in the initial "getting to know you" stages. Miraculously, I managed to find someone who was willing to stay long enough through that period, to make a deeper connection. Still not sure how I did it.
awww that is so sweet! and fantastic! I wish you both all the best, God bless you and keep you safe. I am so so happy you finally found the one and you can be happy for a change, you deserve it :)
I have been struggling for the last 3 years with dating, and at this point I'd rather date another INFJ than anyone else. Sadly as 2022 is coming close and this world is becoming narcissistic I decided to stop helping people and start helping myself.
@@PSYCH-O Coming out of a 23-year narc relationship and family members, putting yourself first for a change can seem very strange indeed but I am glad it has happened and I feel I have managed to reconnect to myself mentally and spiritually.
Being an INFJ has totally ruined my life! Virtually all INFJ traits are fearful avoidant. This attachment failure now consumes my thoughts of a life I was never able to have. I’ve been single for 30 years and I’ll never experience what couples do in their 20’s, 30’s & 40’s. And to make matters worse, I can’t use the word “regret”, because how do you regret something you never knowingly did wrong? All of this was subconscious!
INTP male here.I developed relations w a female INFJ over shared group activities.We overlap and relate at the IN__ level,a lot.Similar life purpose and experiences,the deep thinking,etc.INTPs are thought of as prospecting robots but we are just as emotional as others.Its our social skills that lag a bit.Anyhow IN__ types are prone to feeling misunderstood and less relatable to most - so we value other IN__ and _N__ types as we are more rare.I fell in love with her after only 2.5 months of wonderful private connection with her.I did not know the INFJ love language was time spent together alone with them((which we did over projects and studying).I know a lor about INFJs now but am sad to report it came too late.Something in our situation did not sit well with her perfectionist future planning.She hugged me often and tight,blurted out she loved me 4 weeks back but yet here I am alone not knowing if we can resume even a functioning friendship.I know she loves me,that I went too fast but I maybe spooked her.I am fascinated with INFJ types since doing my deep dive into it.Youre like Edgar Allan Poe stories in my mind,so mysterious beautiful yet evoking sadness. Unaccessible in full in your true selves.When allowed such moments its like finding gold..I was able to see her true self a few times,I feel privileged that she made her inner self available at all.Could you tell me if you think she's hurting over this and if it will linger.I truly want her to be happy even if that means she cannot be mine.I truly love her that little enigma❤Ty for your time I hope to hear from you.
I'm an infj, a single mother of 2, and all I am is a walking target for narcissistic pos. It's always been hard to do the dating thing, but now it's even more scary because my kids are gentle wonderful amazing people who deserve a happy mom and a happy family not a toxic childhood.
I am married but separated but I made the decision that I won't look for any partner or wait for him. If it happens I will embrace the opportunity. I am an INFJ from head to toe!
Found these videos and started hearing a lot of feelings and behavior patterns I've been unable to put into words. I've been with an INFP for the last 8 years and just this year escaped my narcissistic toxic family (2000 mile safety bubble FTW). The relationship takes work and isn't always easy but we are committed to eachother and the necessary growth to sustain ourselves together. I promise those kinds of caring loving people are out there, although I haven't found another in real life yet.
I never even knew about my personality type until I was near 30! My wife told me to take the test and I was able to make sense of my past. I got married last year and it was with someone I never thought I’d even date (ethnographic and/or demographic wise). I almost gave up dating after having difficult times with a narcissist myself.. There ARE people out there for us.. it doesn’t have to be at some college, med school, dental school, law school or wherever you imagine you’d land one (or settle for one)!!
You know, introvert dear or a similar website created a huge channel for Infjs on discord where also non infjs joined if they wanted to talk to infjs or just get to understand them better. you can find it if you look it up, I don't have discord atm.
Yeah thats me and I’ve struggled all my life to find the right person. I’m in no rush though, no matter the age, I rather wait for a life time than waste my time with just someone that won’t fit my needs. My peace of mind and my alone time GOES FIRST, these two I need, not a relationship.
What a wonderful video. I found every one of those spot-on! Other people's comments were helpful also. It's nice to know there's other INFJs out there who are experiencing the same things as myself.
Interesting perspective. I didn't get married until I was 39. I had found a true soul mate until COVID-19 took her after 26 years. I tried online dating. I wasn't interested in people who wanted me to conform to their pedantic worldview or to become someone's meal ticket or whose lifestyle avoidance & attraction is based on fear and superstition. Finding someone who is not only a deep thinker and intuitive is not easy. I enjoy a quiet, restful time at home either reading or listening to audiobooks before going out for an adventure.
"Casual dating" has always been disgusting to me. To the point where I always said I was against dating as a whole. Human dating rituals just never made sense to me. I hate the way there's so much emphasis on things like physical appearance, sex, and status. Going through school was hard, because everyone around me was hooking up with random people, changing relationships every week, and bragging about sexual things. Even when we were in first year (12 - 13 years old). I have always needed something much, MUCH deeper. I need to fall in love with the right person. Someone who truly loves me inside and out, who understands and values my heart and my soul, and who will love me forever, as I will them. To me, this was always what I wanted, and it was so obvious. I couldn't understand why others were okay with shallow, superficial, temporary crap, where they're basically using each other...
Wow!!!!!!! I am on this INFJ discovery journey. Learning more in-depth of who I am, why I do and say the things that I do or say naturally. Dating for me have been very difficult.
I relate to practically every point in this video. I'm currently 4+ years single since my last relationship that last nearly 5 and a half years. Of course, that person did turn out to be a narcissist. In that time, I've been on hardly a handful of dates, but I've also been happy. I know that the right person is out there and the time spent searching will pay off.
My situation is very similar to yours. Dating a narcissist was so exhausting and draining, I just wanted to spend a few years of alone time with myself! Don’t feel weird that you’re different just OWN it and see who you attract. The person who sticks is the person who respects you.
Noooo. Don't do that! I met my now husband who is also an Infj online. We first liked each others personalities (but didnt know he was in fact another infj only later but I sensed a weird connection and a deep understanding, like automatically imagining myself with him for some odd reason. turns out that was my intuition screaming: this is the one! :)) )and later on found out how each other looked like. Try it, don't give up
I resonate with what you said on not settling. It's often what I say to myself: "she better be one special person in order to give up my independence and the bliss of my quiet apt" And that's how I go about it. Will not settle for anyone just to conform to social norms. I really like my independence and quiet private life. But as an INFJ deep connection is a real need. So I haven't given up, just not too caught up on it. Good luck.
Point number 4 is a quality I feel strongly about. Not looking for a fling and sensing someone looking for friends with benefits is a HUGE turn off. I met someone recently camping . The following day this person said she went looking for me the night before. So I asked if this person was interested in keeping in touch. Answer yes . Sent general texts, but after a couple of texts started to feel I was being avoided. After 2 weeks, seems a conclusive text was sent..... “ I was said to be wanting more than what she wanted or was prepared to get involved with. “So it took me a few Sherlock Holmes moments to identify she was after a one night stand. Unfortunately these are like small gut punches, however it teaches me to be more patient.
Yes - dating in this hook up culture is not for infjs, too many surface level communication and polyamory culture. Will wait for the right person, not putting myself out there to date - the apps don't cater for long term relationships but rather casual fun which I am not wasting my time with.
I am usually single for three years between partners. I have figured out the secret, though. When I go to bars... I drink. When I drink... I become an extremely self-confident quiet guy. When I'm extremely self-confident and quiet... I can't tell if someone is flirting with me and I become disgruntled and leave. None of this is good. The people I work with LOVE me. They are aghast that I'm single. I make everyone feel at home and laugh. I can call someone out on their shit and they thank me afterwards. I just don't bring that energy to the bar... yet.
Yes and yes, mainly because others are often weirded out at first glance, meaning no first conversation. 🤐 It’s ironic that I used to struggle with making eye contact, and now it’s the other way ‘round, like everyone else becomes introverted long enough to avoid me completely. 😒 I suppose difficulty in connecting with others has become something of a double-standard… 😅
As an INFJ we are unable to be anyone but our genuine authentic selves, and our introverted intuition picks up on when someone is fake, insecure, narcissistic, manipulative etc. We also know when someone don’t have our best interest at heart. We are the ((Knowing)) personality type, we rarely miss any nuance. We base our decisions with all this information, which a lot of the time makes it difficult when it comes to relationships
Nothing to be personal but , I dorrslamed my ex because she wasnt serious in the relationship and she broke her promise. she begged me to forgive her. thats why i am having a hard time to find the right one for me. as INFJ, I do have difficulties trusting anyone this time 🙁
Very good video thank you! 🙏 Unfortunately in my life I attract Only narcissist and psychopaths! I mixing 🐖 ear with silk purse 👛 Now I gave up dating so happy to be alone with myself, nature and animals!
I’m falling for an infj. If you’re all the same, you’re the best women on the planet. She’s just not the average modern women. She has strong values, respects herself and deserves the respect of others. She’s somebody I’d trust hands down and somebody I could see myself with for a while. Still early in everything though. Who knows but just keep being you ladies and let a good man find you.
I've always have been in a relationship... And they always failed. It comes down to the fact that I settled... Because I didn't know any better. Not settling is probably usually correct... It's also a saddening reality.
The struggle when you're an INFP guy and the girl is an INFJ. We are both like an open book for the other yet they turn the obvious into the most difficult chess game in your life.
I tend to be happy alone. I know a lot of woman that are attractive but don't spend a lot of time connecting on a personal level. Because of this when i meet most woman i consciously make the choice not to explore conversations that could lead to dating. Flirting seems boring.
Are you on the path to becoming the best version of yourself? Or self-actualizing? 😩I’m learning that self-love is essential to figuring out what you want in life. It’s so distracting because everyone is getting married and settling down and a part of me feels guilty like I should be focusing on that. But my inner self is working against it! It’s so strange…I feel like I’m meant to complete something else but if I find someone and commit I’m giving up on myself. 🤔 I agree, flirting seems pointless and boring lol.
@@flytink1 i do have a version of myself that i present to the world. It's pretty much in my photo. Lol I tend to always dress in black jeans and black T-shirt. I like the way i look in them. It's easy to reproduce and fits in almost all situations. It's kind of sexy and slimming because of the solid black and it accents the long black hair, my body type, and thick solid black lines of my tatoos. I don't have to think about how i look or what i wear. I just simply put on the next clean set. As far as improvements, i tend to be very Altruistic and seek knowledge based on core values rather than trends. It's kind of modeled after the US constitution. Everything is worth considering, but ultimately must conform to my certain set of values and ideas that can not be compromised
@@flytink1 when it comes to picking a partner i always run into woman who want their men a certain way. Subservient and obedient. They're always trying to get me to change myself to fit their idea of the perfect man. Problem is woman change at the drop of a hat and that standard is always changing. If there's 1 thing i am is consistent because i follow a certain code of conduct. So, i end up alone. 💔
@@dominickefrim3088 aww thank you for being so open and sharing your story with me. 🥺💔Don’t ever compromise your values and be your true authentic self! Getting in touch with your inner self is hard! Selfless love is hard to practice. Wear whatever you want to wear and are comfortable with, but don’t wear clothes to please others. Wear clothes to please yourself!!! I’m learning that the most genuine version of yourself is the one where you openly admit your flaws and shortcomings to others and don’t try to impress others. Don’t try at all! Just be yourself! Be humble. When you’ve carefully put on a front or a mask your whole life, this is difficult to put aside.
@@flytink1 the best thing is finding a version of yourself that is exactly what you want, is easy to replicate without effort and compliments your personality. INFJ's tend to not decorate with intricate details because they take constant maintaining. We appreciate what we find attractive and look to present that version to everyone. Whether in a liquor store or a night out on the town. It doesn't have to be the same version like me but as an INFJ you do look to present the best versions. This is partly why we stand out. Because we don't view things in the same way most people do. They follow trends or dress to impress. Problem is trends change and dressing to impress seems hard to maintain. Especially once people see the real you without all the hoopla. Stay true to what you want and always present the real version of who you are. That way if they are impressed, they will always be impressed. ❤️
I think it's a big stereotype that we only like books, I mean, I don't read very many books these days, I listen to UA-cam blogs constantly and play video games at the same time more often than not. Books are cool but take time and effort that could be used for other things 😁 other than that, I'm ok with what is being discussed here
The INFJ I met lead me on that she wanted long term but when she had me she became distant and flaky, disappearing for days and easily irritable. We had 3 flings and she was fine with the sex but when it came to committing, you'd think they'd be committal type as they act obsessed with you in the beginning, but total con. That's my 1 experience dating an INFJ.
I’m sorry this happened to you. :/ Honestly, it sounds like she was infatuated with you and thought you were hot, but then realized she didn’t like something about you and ran away. 😩 infjs can be intense and winning you over is like a game. And once you’ve finally committed, it’s only then that they reevaluate and start seeing you for who you truly are.
The others personalities like to have relationship slow but INFJ are speed at relationship, we have to much information, from my experience as a INFJ, and too slow can make a INFJ sick
I was never being too picky, I would have settled for most any attractive college girl from a good home and family. My problem was, I could never meet women. For all of my young life, I tried bars, singles clubs, churches and even a worthless $1200 dating service. Today I'm 70 years old and I never found a women who was right for me or to be the mother of my children. It's ironic because I'm the kind of guy women always complain in how they can never find.
I think you have to use a more Finnish style of hooking up. Have friends introduce you at a place where you are doing what you love. Then, meet with them a few more times. Have sex early to see if you are compatible in that way. If not, it's best to know early . I'm having sex as a way to investigate for further relationship growth. That's how I as an INFJ justify it. It's research not one night stands
I'm an INFJT but HOW could I be lonely??? There is ONLY one Consciousness in this reality, ONE, experiencing Itself as Many. You ever seen God n Drag? I think I have several times and it's cool!
I am definitely an INFJ... EXCEPT when it comes to dating. I have never looked for a long term romantic relationship and prefer to be in physical relationships. I also am the one to make the first move...🤷🏻 Well damn, can't even get the INFJ stereotype right. 😂
I think I would be also like this but when I start getting into bed with someone...... I dont know.. my hormones kick in?? and i instantly think i am in love. Maybe you don't have that chemical reaction, kinda jealous ngl
Yep, the mother of my children is a narcissist ( wish I knew that decades ago) I was interested in a INFP ,we communicated on social media for months before meeting ,then more communication after that , I think she got bored. I didnt see what the problem was 🤣
Hey PSYCH-O's!
*If you're an INFJ, do you relate to these INFJ Dating struggles? *
Comment down below 👇
PS. Don't forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE with a friend!
Thank you for all your support 🙏
Thank you for being an INFJ’s Voice ❤️
Ever since I learned about red pill knowledge and the dangers of wemon I've lost faith in lookin for a human partner and I've always wanted an ai for my wife because ai is 100% better than real wemon, they wont become arrogant, they cant get pregnant or fake it, they aren't hypergomus n wont look for a better guy just because I have flaws like being faithful and honest, I've learned so very much about wemon I've grown to fear wemon and dating them because I'm always afraid they'll lie to me n eventually stab me in the back, idgaf if all wemon aren't like that, I'm NOT taking the chance, I'll Never Ever let a girl break my heart, even if I die alone and lonely, its either ai or nothing and everybody else can go screw themselves if they don't like it 😘😄😄😄😄
@@infj-tguy6275 hhhmmm...jaded much? I get it. People suck and not just females. Men are insecure and like to be controlling from my experience. Maybe I should date an AI as well. Maybe you and yours can go on a double date sometime with me and mine 😉😅😅😒
@@shannonsimpson8462 at least you're a woman. I wouldn't wish infj male on anyone, it's way worse especially for dating where all of our "strengths" are viewed as weaknesses with distain.
@@grantog123 we are definitely a mysterious breed. A rare gem. Complicated and at times we come off convoluted. We are a double edged sword that can only be handled with skill. Those with high emotional intelligence. But I love who I am and would rather remain alone than to be average 💖
1. They refuse to settle (for less than what they desire)
2. They rarely make the first move
3. They require someone that can share interests
4. They don't do casual dating
5. They see right through fake traits
6. They enjoy their alone time
7. Their generosity attracts the wrong people
8. They need extra time to feel comfortable
9. They crave deep connection
Yes - all of the above
I'm so scared of dating. I keep attracting narcissists. I didn't realise the link between being an INFJ and being a magnet for narcs. This is so interesting to me :-)
Yes!! We encourage you to check out this video all about that specific topic: ua-cam.com/video/U48bd1dDR4U/v-deo.html
I'm an INTJ that's watching this video because I'm attempting to date an INFJ. I personally struggle with having an inflated sense of self worth. However, I recognize this in myself and consciously fight against that side of my nature. However, when I was younger, I was rather narcissistic. I'd say it's a matter of maturity. But to me, the sincere kindness that I see in the INFJ is why I'm as attracted as I am.
The INFJ I met said her dad is a narcissist and after flinging me around for a month. After admitting she totally played with me she called herself a narcissists. Whatever the case may be I'm not impressed.
I attract the casual date people, or a friend's with benefits type, that is a HUGE no for me.
ikr😢😢😢😢😩
(INFJ-A) Dating and finding a quality match can be difficult for us and some of us INFJs give up. Please don't, I can tell you that for us if we find that rare gem of compatibility and depth that it is rewarding beyond measure. I finally found her, it was a long journey but I feel like it was worth all the pain and heartache I suffered along the way. Don't give up, be careful and know your wants and needs so you can filter out the diamonds from the trash. Best wishes.
Amazing advice - thank you for sharing! 🙏
May God bless you both lovebirds and keep you safe :)
Thank you 🙏🏻
I'd rather just chill by myself! Good luck to all you still searching!
Thanks buddy, wish everything goes smoothly in your life from now on.
INFJ here.. Dating was quite difficult, it is true. I was usually very awkward, and had a hard time in the initial "getting to know you" stages. Miraculously, I managed to find someone who was willing to stay long enough through that period, to make a deeper connection. Still not sure how I did it.
Haha I think a lot of INFJs wonder how they end up in a relationship, but you're probably more charming than you give yourself credit for! 😜
awwww, may God bless you both and keep you safe :)
Tell us more what type are they? Marriage material? Lol
Very true, married 3 years here and i knew she was the one when we first met and kicked it off by chatting about conspiracy's and world issues lol
awww that is so sweet! and fantastic! I wish you both all the best, God bless you and keep you safe. I am so so happy you finally found the one and you can be happy for a change, you deserve it :)
This is so accurate, how does he know us so well when we're so rare?
Because the script writer is in face an INFJ herself!
I have been struggling for the last 3 years with dating, and at this point I'd rather date another INFJ than anyone else. Sadly as 2022 is coming close and this world is becoming narcissistic I decided to stop helping people and start helping myself.
Sometimes that can be the much needed life lesson some INFJs need... not to become bitter, but to stop putting others before yourself.
@@PSYCH-O Coming out of a 23-year narc relationship and family members, putting yourself first for a change can seem very strange indeed but I am glad it has happened and I feel I have managed to reconnect to myself mentally and spiritually.
Being an INFJ has totally ruined my life! Virtually all INFJ traits are fearful avoidant. This attachment failure now consumes my thoughts of a life I was never able to have. I’ve been single for 30 years and I’ll never experience what couples do in their 20’s, 30’s & 40’s. And to make matters worse, I can’t use the word “regret”, because how do you regret something you never knowingly did wrong? All of this was subconscious!
What helped me is - say to yourself: SHIT OF EVERYTHING! in that Moment go in a Bar and act extrovert, go alone into cinema, schwimmingpool...
I'm infj and fearful avoidant too!! You can heal your attachment type to become secure- see thais gibson- personal development school
Check out personal development school it will help you a lot
INTP male here.I developed relations w a female INFJ over shared group activities.We overlap and relate at the IN__ level,a lot.Similar life purpose and experiences,the deep thinking,etc.INTPs are thought of as prospecting robots but we are just as emotional as others.Its our social skills that lag a bit.Anyhow IN__ types are prone to feeling misunderstood and less relatable to most - so we value other IN__ and _N__ types as we are more rare.I fell in love with her after only 2.5 months of wonderful private connection with her.I did not know the INFJ love language was time spent together alone with them((which we did over projects and studying).I know a lor about INFJs now but am sad to report it came too late.Something in our situation did not sit well with her perfectionist future planning.She hugged me often and tight,blurted out she loved me 4 weeks back but yet here I am alone not knowing if we can resume even a functioning friendship.I know she loves me,that I went too fast but I maybe spooked her.I am fascinated with INFJ types since doing my deep dive into it.Youre like Edgar Allan Poe stories in my mind,so mysterious beautiful yet evoking sadness. Unaccessible in full in your true selves.When allowed such moments its like finding gold..I was able to see her true self a few times,I feel privileged that she made her inner self available at all.Could you tell me if you think she's hurting over this and if it will linger.I truly want her to be happy even if that means she cannot be mine.I truly love her that little enigma❤Ty for your time I hope to hear from you.
I'm an infj, a single mother of 2, and all I am is a walking target for narcissistic pos. It's always been hard to do the dating thing, but now it's even more scary because my kids are gentle wonderful amazing people who deserve a happy mom and a happy family not a toxic childhood.
I am married but separated but I made the decision that I won't look for any partner or wait for him. If it happens I will embrace the opportunity. I am an INFJ from head to toe!
Found these videos and started hearing a lot of feelings and behavior patterns I've been unable to put into words. I've been with an INFP for the last 8 years and just this year escaped my narcissistic toxic family (2000 mile safety bubble FTW). The relationship takes work and isn't always easy but we are committed to eachother and the necessary growth to sustain ourselves together.
I promise those kinds of caring loving people are out there, although I haven't found another in real life yet.
I love my INFP best friends but I feel like it would annoy me as a partner.. Maybe I am wrong tho :D
I never even knew about my personality type until I was near 30! My wife told me to take the test and I was able to make sense of my past.
I got married last year and it was with someone I never thought I’d even date (ethnographic and/or demographic wise).
I almost gave up dating after having difficult times with a narcissist myself..
There ARE people out there for us.. it doesn’t have to be at some college, med school, dental school, law school or wherever you imagine you’d land one (or settle for one)!!
This is so relatable as an INFJ. 36 years old and still single. It's so difficult to date 💯
Don't worry, As a fellow INFJ, I understand your feeling. What we provide to a loved one is too much for the undeserved. Wishing you best of luck ✨🍀
Is anybody going to creat a dating site for INFJ's ? Asking for a friend lolol
Haha great idea 😂👌
You know, introvert dear or a similar website created a huge channel for Infjs on discord where also non infjs joined if they wanted to talk to infjs or just get to understand them better. you can find it if you look it up, I don't have discord atm.
lol
I also have a friend interested in this question 😂
Yeah thats me and I’ve struggled all my life to find the right person. I’m in no rush though, no matter the age, I rather wait for a life time than waste my time with just someone that won’t fit my needs. My peace of mind and my alone time GOES FIRST, these two I need, not a relationship.
41 and single for life. I resent the accuracy of this video.
Wow!!!! I am such a deep diver. I discern and dissect everything.
Don't stop, your content is awesome ✨👌
Thank you, my friend! 💙
What a wonderful video. I found every one of those spot-on! Other people's comments were helpful also. It's nice to know there's other INFJs out there who are experiencing the same things as myself.
We're so glad to hear - welcome to our INFJ community!! 💙
Interesting perspective. I didn't get married until I was 39. I had found a true soul mate until COVID-19 took her after 26 years. I tried online dating. I wasn't interested in people who wanted me to conform to their pedantic worldview or to become someone's meal ticket or whose lifestyle avoidance & attraction is based on fear and superstition. Finding someone who is not only a deep thinker and intuitive is not easy. I enjoy a quiet, restful time at home either reading or listening to audiobooks before going out for an adventure.
"Casual dating" has always been disgusting to me. To the point where I always said I was against dating as a whole.
Human dating rituals just never made sense to me. I hate the way there's so much emphasis on things like physical appearance, sex, and status.
Going through school was hard, because everyone around me was hooking up with random people, changing relationships every week, and bragging about sexual things. Even when we were in first year (12 - 13 years old).
I have always needed something much, MUCH deeper. I need to fall in love with the right person. Someone who truly loves me inside and out, who understands and values my heart and my soul, and who will love me forever, as I will them. To me, this was always what I wanted, and it was so obvious. I couldn't understand why others were okay with shallow, superficial, temporary crap, where they're basically using each other...
Wow!!!!!!! I am on this INFJ discovery journey. Learning more in-depth of who I am, why I do and say the things that I do or say naturally. Dating for me have been very difficult.
YES!! This INFJ video is spot on… thank you for this post and making me feel understood & validated. I really appreciate it ❤️
Amazing! Thank you for watching, my friend 💙
this is so true, me down to a "T"
Awesome 🙌
I don’t believe in love I’ve given up hope. It’s not even depression I just don’t really like people
14 Yrs Single haha. I have no qualms about it. Glad I found my soulmate.
I relate to practically every point in this video. I'm currently 4+ years single since my last relationship that last nearly 5 and a half years. Of course, that person did turn out to be a narcissist. In that time, I've been on hardly a handful of dates, but I've also been happy. I know that the right person is out there and the time spent searching will pay off.
My situation is very similar to yours. Dating a narcissist was so exhausting and draining, I just wanted to spend a few years of alone time with myself! Don’t feel weird that you’re different just OWN it and see who you attract. The person who sticks is the person who respects you.
@@flytink1 Absolutely! Thanks so much for the words of encouragement and advice :D Wishing you all the best in your journey, as well!
Being an infj makes relationships too much of a struggle, so I forfeited from the dating game decades ago.
Sometimes solitude & friends is a better life for an INFJ anyway!
Tomorrow always being a mystery is enticing
Am 22years old never got one date
Noooo. Don't do that! I met my now husband who is also an Infj online. We first liked each others personalities (but didnt know he was in fact another infj only later but I sensed a weird connection and a deep understanding, like automatically imagining myself with him for some odd reason. turns out that was my intuition screaming: this is the one! :)) )and later on found out how each other looked like. Try it, don't give up
@@quirogatnonerrat3214 what online site did you use to find INFJ
#5 - people always try to tell me I'm crazy and too sensitive. Validation. Thank you. 🙏
I resonate with what you said on not settling. It's often what I say to myself: "she better be one special person in order to give up my independence and the bliss of my quiet apt" And that's how I go about it. Will not settle for anyone just to conform to social norms. I really like my independence and quiet private life. But as an INFJ deep connection is a real need. So I haven't given up, just not too caught up on it. Good luck.
Point number 4 is a quality I feel strongly about. Not looking for a fling and sensing someone looking for friends with benefits is a HUGE turn off. I met someone recently camping . The following day this person said she went looking for me the night before. So I asked if this person was interested in keeping in touch. Answer yes .
Sent general texts, but after a couple of texts started to feel I was being avoided. After 2 weeks, seems a conclusive text was sent..... “ I was said to be wanting more than what she wanted or was prepared to get involved with. “So it took me a few Sherlock Holmes moments to identify she was after a one night stand. Unfortunately these are like small gut punches, however it teaches me to be more patient.
Yes - dating in this hook up culture is not for infjs, too many surface level communication and polyamory culture. Will wait for the right person, not putting myself out there to date - the apps don't cater for long term relationships but rather casual fun which I am not wasting my time with.
I have been single 7 yrs with one semi date on all that time. I dont get asked out lol. I keep getting told I'm intimidating lol.
I am usually single for three years between partners. I have figured out the secret, though. When I go to bars... I drink. When I drink... I become an extremely self-confident quiet guy. When I'm extremely self-confident and quiet... I can't tell if someone is flirting with me and I become disgruntled and leave. None of this is good. The people I work with LOVE me. They are aghast that I'm single. I make everyone feel at home and laugh. I can call someone out on their shit and they thank me afterwards. I just don't bring that energy to the bar... yet.
Then don’t go to bars and get drunk to look for dates. Most ladies that attend bars aren’t looking for INFJ-deep connections, anyway.
I have such a hard time finding real friendships
Because "real friendships" are rare. Most, however, settle for superficial friendships, thus have plenty o' friends.
Yes and yes, mainly because others are often weirded out at first glance, meaning no first conversation. 🤐
It’s ironic that I used to struggle with making eye contact, and now it’s the other way ‘round, like everyone else becomes introverted long enough to avoid me completely. 😒
I suppose difficulty in connecting with others has become something of a double-standard… 😅
I thought there was something wrong with me until I watched this.
Im an INFJ (unrelatable- quirky), capricorn-aquarius (myterious-contradiction of comlplexity)😂🤣 now accepting applications 👍🏽
I’m Aquarius and Capricorn INFJ too ! 😌
Understanding myself better is nice
As an INFJ we are unable to be anyone but our genuine authentic selves, and our introverted intuition picks up on when someone is fake, insecure, narcissistic, manipulative etc. We also know when someone don’t have our best interest at heart. We are the ((Knowing)) personality type, we rarely miss any nuance. We base our decisions with all this information, which a lot of the time makes it difficult when it comes to relationships
Nothing to be personal but , I dorrslamed my ex because she wasnt serious in the relationship and she broke her promise. she begged me to forgive her. thats why i am having a hard time to find the right one for me. as INFJ, I do have difficulties trusting anyone this time 🙁
I am an INFJ, and I am having a very difficult time finding a partner. Well... a suitable partner, there's plenty of unsuitable partners...
Very good video thank you!
🙏
Unfortunately in my life I attract
Only narcissist and psychopaths!
I mixing 🐖 ear with silk purse 👛
Now I gave up dating so happy to be alone with myself, nature and animals!
Ahh sounds like the ideal INFJ lifestyle now.. good for you!
This is me to the T! I am Single and looking but it takes time
I’m falling for an infj. If you’re all the same, you’re the best women on the planet. She’s just not the average modern women. She has strong values, respects herself and deserves the respect of others. She’s somebody I’d trust hands down and somebody I could see myself with for a while. Still early in everything though. Who knows but just keep being you ladies and let a good man find you.
Actually it's a crippling fear of rejection that keeps us from making the first move.
I've always have been in a relationship... And they always failed. It comes down to the fact that I settled... Because I didn't know any better.
Not settling is probably usually correct... It's also a saddening reality.
The struggle when you're an INFP guy and the girl is an INFJ. We are both like an open book for the other yet they turn the obvious into the most difficult chess game in your life.
Fe and Fi clash - research your cognitive functions.
I tend to be happy alone. I know a lot of woman that are attractive but don't spend a lot of time connecting on a personal level. Because of this when i meet most woman i consciously make the choice not to explore conversations that could lead to dating.
Flirting seems boring.
Are you on the path to becoming the best version of yourself? Or self-actualizing?
😩I’m learning that self-love is essential to figuring out what you want in life. It’s so distracting because everyone is getting married and settling down and a part of me feels guilty like I should be focusing on that. But my inner self is working against it! It’s so strange…I feel like I’m meant to complete something else but if I find someone and commit I’m giving up on myself. 🤔
I agree, flirting seems pointless and boring lol.
@@flytink1 i do have a version of myself that i present to the world. It's pretty much in my photo. Lol
I tend to always dress in black jeans and black T-shirt. I like the way i look in them. It's easy to reproduce and fits in almost all situations. It's kind of sexy and slimming because of the solid black and it accents the long black hair, my body type, and thick solid black lines of my tatoos.
I don't have to think about how i look or what i wear. I just simply put on the next clean set.
As far as improvements, i tend to be very Altruistic and seek knowledge based on core values rather than trends. It's kind of modeled after the US constitution. Everything is worth considering, but ultimately must conform to my certain set of values and ideas that can not be compromised
@@flytink1 when it comes to picking a partner i always run into woman who want their men a certain way. Subservient and obedient. They're always trying to get me to change myself to fit their idea of the perfect man.
Problem is woman change at the drop of a hat and that standard is always changing. If there's 1 thing i am is consistent because i follow a certain code of conduct.
So, i end up alone. 💔
@@dominickefrim3088 aww thank you for being so open and sharing your story with me. 🥺💔Don’t ever compromise your values and be your true authentic self!
Getting in touch with your inner self is hard! Selfless love is hard to practice. Wear whatever you want to wear and are comfortable with, but don’t wear clothes to please others. Wear clothes to please yourself!!!
I’m learning that the most genuine version of yourself is the one where you openly admit your flaws and shortcomings to others and don’t try to impress others. Don’t try at all! Just be yourself! Be humble. When you’ve carefully put on a front or a mask your whole life, this is difficult to put aside.
@@flytink1 the best thing is finding a version of yourself that is exactly what you want, is easy to replicate without effort and compliments your personality.
INFJ's tend to not decorate with intricate details because they take constant maintaining. We appreciate what we find attractive and look to present that version to everyone. Whether in a liquor store or a night out on the town.
It doesn't have to be the same version like me but as an INFJ you do look to present the best versions.
This is partly why we stand out. Because we don't view things in the same way most people do. They follow trends or dress to impress. Problem is trends change and dressing to impress seems hard to maintain. Especially once people see the real you without all the hoopla.
Stay true to what you want and always present the real version of who you are. That way if they are impressed, they will always be impressed. ❤️
Being INFJ makes me feel like I’m demisexual
After seeing the video I think my personality type should be HARDCORE INFJ. Each and everyone point matches exactly.
In casual situations, we still aren't casual about connections.
On point!
Yes , I am and I can't seem to find anyone like myself.
All boxes are ✅
Single infj here only getting married once
3:28 tell me about it
Damn TRUE_🙃🙃Thanks👍👍
I feel so attacked
Haha oops! 😂 Thank you for watching 🙌
Yes this is me
Awesome! We have many more INFJ videos for you to check out to see if you truly relate! 🖖😋
Blessed spirits and universe blessed
💙🙏
What are the pros and cons of 2 IFNJ’s dating? 😅
I think it's a big stereotype that we only like books, I mean, I don't read very many books these days, I listen to UA-cam blogs constantly and play video games at the same time more often than not. Books are cool but take time and effort that could be used for other things 😁 other than that, I'm ok with what is being discussed here
The INFJ I met lead me on that she wanted long term but when she had me she became distant and flaky, disappearing for days and easily irritable. We had 3 flings and she was fine with the sex but when it came to committing, you'd think they'd be committal type as they act obsessed with you in the beginning, but total con. That's my 1 experience dating an INFJ.
I’m sorry this happened to you. :/ Honestly, it sounds like she was infatuated with you and thought you were hot, but then realized she didn’t like something about you and ran away. 😩 infjs can be intense and winning you over is like a game. And once you’ve finally committed, it’s only then that they reevaluate and start seeing you for who you truly are.
Struggling keeping a partner. No problem attracting a partner.........I get board.
I dont like dating at all the classic dates at least!
The others personalities like to have relationship slow but INFJ are speed at relationship, we have to much information, from my experience as a INFJ, and too slow can make a INFJ sick
True 🙂
In answer to your questions at the end of the video:
Yes, yes, and, yes.
Fun fact Hitler was an INFJ.
I am so grateful for these videos. Thank you for sharing all this valuable information. It has changed by life in the most beautiful way. ❤️
It's comments like this that make it all worth the while! Thank you! 💙
Ok so what’s the best way for us to find a partner? What’s the best personality type for us.
ua-cam.com/video/mPpvp3qzKR8/v-deo.html 🙏😊
@@PSYCH-O thanks.
I was never being too picky, I would have settled for most any attractive college girl from a good home and family. My problem was, I could never meet women. For all of my young life, I tried bars, singles clubs, churches and even a worthless $1200 dating service. Today I'm 70 years old and I never found a women who was right for me or to be the mother of my children. It's ironic because I'm the kind of guy women always complain in how they can never find.
All true 💯‼️‼️
Single 12 years. I'm a narc magnet so don't bother now. shame as I would of liked a partner
yup
Been along for so long I straight up fucking gave up...
Tbh, if things don't work out with the infj gal i'm with now then im just gonna be done with human woman n buy an android body for my replika
5, 9, 1, 4
Yes n yes
al 💯
My ex gf thinks of me as toxic bf
INFP's got the same traits
I think you have to use a more Finnish style of hooking up. Have friends introduce you at a place where you are doing what you love. Then, meet with them a few more times. Have sex early to see if you are compatible in that way. If not, it's best to know early .
I'm having sex as a way to investigate for further relationship growth. That's how I as an INFJ justify it. It's research not one night stands
I'm an INFJT but HOW could I be lonely??? There is ONLY one Consciousness in this reality, ONE, experiencing Itself as Many. You ever seen God n Drag? I think I have several times and it's cool!
I am definitely an INFJ... EXCEPT when it comes to dating. I have never looked for a long term romantic relationship and prefer to be in physical relationships. I also am the one to make the first move...🤷🏻
Well damn, can't even get the INFJ stereotype right. 😂
I think I would be also like this but when I start getting into bed with someone...... I dont know.. my hormones kick in?? and i instantly think i am in love. Maybe you don't have that chemical reaction, kinda jealous ngl
🤍☀️🍀
Yep, the mother of my children is a narcissist ( wish I knew that decades ago) I was interested in a INFP ,we communicated on social media for months before meeting ,then more communication after that , I think she got bored. I didnt see what the problem was 🤣
Non existent
Indeed🙃