Just had this happen to me yesterday. The Narc picked up his kids after 3 months of not seeing them and the reason he hadn’t seen them is because I set boundaries and told him he was not allowed to come into my home and visit the kids. I told him he could take them to his home. So my father was talking to him after he dropped the kids off and he told my father I’m keeping the kids from him and told our daughter I’m trying to turn them against him. I was so angry, he’s a BIG liar and when I confronted him about it he lied and said he never told my father or daughter anything. I’m so tired of these unhealed Narcissist!
My soon to be toxic ex started to lie to his friends and family about me almost 10 yrs back. I had always wondered why his friends were passively hostile towards me when I had never had any altercation with any of them ! And yes,I was painted as the problematic controlling abusive person when I was the one being emotionally and psychologically abused by him !
I went through the same thing with a covert narcissistic X from day one we had to paint me horrible so that her nasty deeds wouldn't look so bad these people are disturbing to the fullest degree. God bless you.
wow... Thank God that crap of a man is out of your life now!!! whoa... how dirty to do it - if he has so much ahit to talk about you, why did he not divorce with you instead of sticking around while having no love for you and talking crap about you?!! my ex bf did the same, his friends were cold to me from the first time of meeting me and I was my normal, friendly self yet they were cold in my face and he never ever called them out. They also never warmed up to me even after 2 years. Just goes to show how much he smeared me. So I feel for you, Winnie - it sucks big time to experience that...from people who we truly loved at one point. 🤦they are abnormal.
The lies start when they notice you've mentally clocked out of the relationship. When they start losing control then they become fearful about you leaving
... Or when you are staying in the relationship, being polite to them, but not allowing yourself to be controlled by them The reactive anger about this "injustice" (in their eyes) gets unleashed by starting a smearcampain against you
It’s when the Narcissist keeps pinching, and pinching you… And when you finally yell “ouch!”, the Narcissist points at you and says “See what I mean?! See how (he/she) is?! This is what I’ve been telling you all about!” Don’t fall in the trap, reactive abuse from victims is provoked by the abuser on purpose - they know what they’re doing! It’s crazy making by design. Stay out of their fishbowl - keep your distance, don’t take the bait. What happens next is the toxic person *lose their isht* when you take control and their narrative falls apart. Once I learned this, I felt very much back in control of my life and was able to end the trauma cycle with my head held high… and move on with my life.
absolutely true, my ex did that spiel to me a lot and started his smear campaign on me as soon as we started to live together. Which just goes to show, that he knew and planned to do me dirty later down the road FROM THE START hence he took already precaution steps by grooming minds of his friends by talking shit about me, so that I would have no support and nobody to believe me,when things started to get tough AKA when he allowed his mask to slip. These people are sick in the head, if only they put the same efforts they put into smearing, into becoming better people!!!! 🔥🔥
For me the smear campaign started about 6 months before the discard. He need to build up what an awful person i was so that people would be empathetic when he discarded for the next source of supply. The funniest part was what he said i was doing was actually what he was doing so i really had no way to defend myself without looking crazy.
“How low can a person go” with a narc, they bring LOW to a whole other level💯 They project everything & must’ve been publicly shamed regularly bcs that’s one of their favourite tactics🐸 They’re Archons afterall🧿
I longer care what he says, I’m divorced from him and he’s broke bc he stole from me and barely has a roof over his head bc he was so busy smearing me that he didn’t mind the business that could have paid him. Thank you Karma
Bottomline. If you care about what they think? Then they can trigger you. But if a Narc try to run up hard on me. I'm throwing hands. It is what it is.
They have superficial relationships with those they aren't close to; always helpful, the go to person. But those that are really close and have seen beyond the mask, there's no reason to keep pretending. And they treat you like 💩. But no one believes, they don't have your "lived" experience with the narcissist
Yesss!!!! 🎯 Very precise, thank you for commenting this, Liza!!!! 💯 You described my ex bf precisely - a social butterfly, mega charming nice guy who's very well liked and popular, having mostly women friends who are totally willing to take a bullet for him, because he's such a good guy, awww. However, they have never lived with him, they don't know him like I know him, they are superficial friends and even those who are not superficial, but what he calls his true friends - he's not telling them all truth, he's always showing what he wants to show...and keeping out other stuff. so they believe whatever he says and they don't know him in day in day out kind of environment like I do, yet they never believe me but defend him. I believe people like that, like him, get a kick out of the fact that they are so able to fool someone, so able to get away with a trickery, it is a boost and a game for them.
My ex dragged my name through the mud with pure lies he made up! Just so he looks the victim. So he can justify his cheating. I could imagine he wants people to think he had his reasons to step out on me.
It’s so so exhausting and mentally draining when you are really telling your side (truth) of being with them and no one ever believes you. Because they wanna to act innocent, play the victim role & by that point everyone is on their side believing them, when they are the reason why you are upset, mad, not wanting interact with ppl around you(friends, co workers, family). I used to be so drained I was just go in my room then ppl would ask abt me. I would shut down and not even talk to anyone at work. I would just say oh I’m tired because if I said anything it would cause more problems & as if anyone would believe me anyway. I had no one to talk too.
My abuser did this after two years of crazy making I’m no longer me I feel…I don’t understand myself anymore Ty for your videos they have helped me a lot get through 🙏🏽❤️
Ok, went through this, but when my hubby passed out drunk with his phone wide open - perfect opportunity to see who he talked to, what was said to whom and I copied his complete plan including his flying monkies - it's all printed, organized and ready for negotiations...
what negotiations??? Girl - pack your bags and run!!!!! Take the print outs, recordings, etc with you and peace out! Why would you wanna stick around his 💩self?
Lol mine lied to my TWIN n totally expected her n my mom to be on HIS side even tho they were there for all of the silent treatments n chaos he started. The audacity
My older brother uses my other siblings to agree with on made up stories. The siblings do what he wants because they’ve learned if they go on his bad side that the crap he does to me, he will do to them. Family sucks because I know once my grandma passes away (she sees through my moms/siblings bullcrap and tells me to stay away) that my childhood will end up being anything that my siblings say it was because it will be 4 on 1 and since it’s family no one asks questions and just takes it at face value
My narcissistic X started getting ahead from literally day one looking back now I'm peaked I wonder what we have to hide that causes 1 to have to do that I shall find out..........
Yeah told all of my business to everyone that I didn’t share for a reason and told lies on me. He even lied saying I followed & stalked him to a different state which was NEVER TRUE. Like I was so in shock I couldn’t believe it. He literally lied and really kicked my back in. Then when I approached him about it, he got so mad, defensive, lied on the ppl who told me, flipped stuff on me, didn’t own up to anything. Once I knew the truth abt what he said ..I really thought he would of just admitted the truth but it got worse. He even lied about having a gf (which I nvr knew until stuff got bad with him & if I had known I wouldn’t of dealt with him period) It was a disaster & im still in shock now. I hate him . He talked so much shit about me and lied on me but still was smiling in my face like nothing ever happened & really thought I wasn’t ever going to find out & I did.
I left him because I was realizing that he had a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde personality. I documented stuff and recorded him when he tried attacking me. So i have receipts, then he tried telling me that he would post things up about me. 😂.I told him to go ahead because I would print out everything I had on him and post it up on his neighborhood so that people can see who he really is. He called me super corny and then got quiet when I told him that I should have left him 3 months in. Thank God 🙏 i didn't waste a long time with him. Even though going on 2 years was still too long to me
They can believe everything he says cause they never really knew me. I met his best mate once in 2 & half yrs. If their going to judge me on someone they don't know then I class them as low as him. I bet they don't know anything about his toxic behaviours on he acted in the relationship oh no. 😂
I need to do a video like this on my channel but Lee is right though, I am self aware diagnosed narcissist and the bottom line was always control and to hurt the other person, sad but tru.
Just had this happen to me yesterday. The Narc picked up his kids after 3 months of not seeing them and the reason he hadn’t seen them is because I set boundaries and told him he was not allowed to come into my home and visit the kids. I told him he could take them to his home. So my father was talking to him after he dropped the kids off and he told my father I’m keeping the kids from him and told our daughter I’m trying to turn them against him. I was so angry, he’s a BIG liar and when I confronted him about it he lied and said he never told my father or daughter anything. I’m so tired of these unhealed Narcissist!
Me too!!!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I’m angry too
Wow, me too....told his old new supply cried to ....put on a Oscar performance.
The day they meet you,the lies begins!!
Facts
My soon to be toxic ex started to lie to his friends and family about me almost 10 yrs back. I had always wondered why his friends were passively hostile towards me when I had never had any altercation with any of them ! And yes,I was painted as the problematic controlling abusive person when I was the one being emotionally and psychologically abused by him !
I went through the same thing with a covert narcissistic X from day one we had to paint me horrible so that her nasty deeds wouldn't look so bad these people are disturbing to the fullest degree. God bless you.
wow... Thank God that crap of a man is out of your life now!!! whoa... how dirty to do it - if he has so much ahit to talk about you, why did he not divorce with you instead of sticking around while having no love for you and talking crap about you?!!
my ex bf did the same, his friends were cold to me from the first time of meeting me and I was my normal, friendly self yet they were cold in my face and he never ever called them out. They also never warmed up to me even after 2 years. Just goes to show how much he smeared me. So I feel for you, Winnie - it sucks big time to experience that...from people who we truly loved at one point. 🤦they are abnormal.
Same!!!
Classic narcissist's playbook. My ex did and still is doing the same as well
The lies start when they notice you've mentally clocked out of the relationship. When they start losing control then they become fearful about you leaving
... Or when you are staying in the relationship, being polite to them, but not allowing yourself to be controlled by them
The reactive anger about this "injustice" (in their eyes) gets unleashed by starting a smearcampain against you
All the mess they create for what?? Smh they really don’t have nothing else better to do
Because it’s better than having to self-reflect and do the work they need to heal.
💯💯
It’s when the Narcissist keeps pinching, and pinching you…
And when you finally yell “ouch!”, the Narcissist points at you and says “See what I mean?! See how (he/she) is?! This is what I’ve been telling you all about!”
Don’t fall in the trap, reactive abuse from victims is provoked by the abuser on purpose - they know what they’re doing! It’s crazy making by design.
Stay out of their fishbowl - keep your distance, don’t take the bait.
What happens next is the toxic person *lose their isht* when you take control and their narrative falls apart.
Once I learned this, I felt very much back in control of my life and was able to end the trauma cycle with my head held high… and move on with my life.
absolutely true, my ex did that spiel to me a lot and started his smear campaign on me as soon as we started to live together. Which just goes to show, that he knew and planned to do me dirty later down the road FROM THE START hence he took already precaution steps by grooming minds of his friends by talking shit about me, so that I would have no support and nobody to believe me,when things started to get tough AKA when he allowed his mask to slip.
These people are sick in the head, if only they put the same efforts they put into smearing, into becoming better people!!!!
🔥🔥
For me the smear campaign started about 6 months before the discard. He need to build up what an awful person i was so that people would be empathetic when he discarded for the next source of supply.
The funniest part was what he said i was doing was actually what he was doing so i really had no way to defend myself without looking crazy.
oh wow
“How low can a person go” with a narc, they bring LOW to a whole other level💯
They project everything & must’ve been publicly shamed regularly bcs that’s one of their favourite tactics🐸 They’re Archons afterall🧿
You couldn’t have said it better. There’s no low a narc won’t stoop to. Believe that or they will prove it to you.
The thing is I didn’t know I needed to be documenting 5:30 because I didn’t think anyone could be so cruel.
Especially from a person who claims to love you……
I longer care what he says, I’m divorced from him and he’s broke bc he stole from me and barely has a roof over his head bc he was so busy smearing me that he didn’t mind the business that could have paid him. Thank you Karma
100 % true. They will spread lies about about u.
Bottomline. If you care about what they think? Then they can trigger you. But if a Narc try to run up hard on me. I'm throwing hands. It is what it is.
That part! Lying on you behind your back all the while still being in your face!
I would read Psalms to keep my mind under control 😊
🙏🏽💯
Sticks and stones may break my 🦴 bones….but names will NEVER hurt me. ✌🏽💯
💪🏽🙌🏾
They have superficial relationships with those they aren't close to; always helpful, the go to person. But those that are really close and have seen beyond the mask, there's no reason to keep pretending. And they treat you like 💩. But no one believes, they don't have your "lived" experience with the narcissist
Yesss!!!! 🎯 Very precise, thank you for commenting this, Liza!!!! 💯 You described my ex bf precisely - a social butterfly, mega charming nice guy who's very well liked and popular, having mostly women friends who are totally willing to take a bullet for him, because he's such a good guy, awww. However, they have never lived with him, they don't know him like I know him, they are superficial friends and even those who are not superficial, but what he calls his true friends - he's not telling them all truth, he's always showing what he wants to show...and keeping out other stuff. so they believe whatever he says and they don't know him in day in day out kind of environment like I do, yet they never believe me but defend him.
I believe people like that, like him, get a kick out of the fact that they are so able to fool someone, so able to get away with a trickery, it is a boost and a game for them.
@@AmericanDreamer flying 🐒
My ex dragged my name through the mud with pure lies he made up! Just so he looks the victim. So he can justify his cheating. I could imagine he wants people to think he had his reasons to step out on me.
Yes my narc recorded me 😢
He told everyone i was mentally ill.
Started smear campaign against me.
Wow I figured that,you can tell how they be fussing there going to use that and tell people and make up stuff on you that's crazy
💯
It’s so so exhausting and mentally draining when you are really telling your side (truth) of being with them and no one ever believes you. Because they wanna to act innocent, play the victim role & by that point everyone is on their side believing them, when they are the reason why you are upset, mad, not wanting interact with ppl around you(friends, co workers, family). I used to be so drained I was just go in my room then ppl would ask abt me. I would shut down and not even talk to anyone at work. I would just say oh I’m tired because if I said anything it would cause more problems & as if anyone would believe me anyway. I had no one to talk too.
They start as soon as they start feeling you are seeing through them. They start looking for new supply and they look like a victim
My abuser did this after two years of crazy making I’m no longer me I feel…I don’t understand myself anymore
I am 3 yrs since divorced and still getting smeared by the Narc. The only contact I have to have is because we have kids together.
As soon as they meet your friends🙃
Thank you Lee
Yup it started years ago and I had no fuckin idea
My abuser did this after two years of crazy making I’m no longer me I feel…I don’t understand myself anymore Ty for your videos they have helped me a lot get through 🙏🏽❤️
Ok, went through this, but when my hubby passed out drunk with his phone wide open - perfect opportunity to see who he talked to, what was said to whom and I copied his complete plan including his flying monkies - it's all printed, organized and ready for negotiations...
what negotiations??? Girl - pack your bags and run!!!!! Take the print outs, recordings, etc with you and peace out! Why would you wanna stick around his 💩self?
@AmericanDreamer oh I moved out after that - 4hrs away to another state - ready for my divorce definitely!
@@craz4mom thank goodness!!! Yes, stay gone, I wish you success with divorcing!! It will be def a dead weight lifting!
Lol mine lied to my TWIN n totally expected her n my mom to be on HIS side even tho they were there for all of the silent treatments n chaos he started. The audacity
My older brother uses my other siblings to agree with on made up stories. The siblings do what he wants because they’ve learned if they go on his bad side that the crap he does to me, he will do to them.
Family sucks because I know once my grandma passes away (she sees through my moms/siblings bullcrap and tells me to stay away) that my childhood will end up being anything that my siblings say it was because it will be 4 on 1 and since it’s family no one asks questions and just takes it at face value
He even went and lied to my sister about me she believed all of what he said and then she told him my business we’ve never been the same since
My narcissistic X started getting ahead from literally day one looking back now I'm peaked I wonder what we have to hide that causes 1 to have to do that I shall find out..........
Liar to the core
Yeah told all of my business to everyone that I didn’t share for a reason and told lies on me. He even lied saying I followed & stalked him to a different state which was NEVER TRUE. Like I was so in shock I couldn’t believe it. He literally lied and really kicked my back in. Then when I approached him about it, he got so mad, defensive, lied on the ppl who told me, flipped stuff on me, didn’t own up to anything. Once I knew the truth abt what he said ..I really thought he would of just admitted the truth but it got worse. He even lied about having a gf (which I nvr knew until stuff got bad with him & if I had known I wouldn’t of dealt with him period) It was a disaster & im still in shock now. I hate him . He talked so much shit about me and lied on me but still was smiling in my face like nothing ever happened & really thought I wasn’t ever going to find out & I did.
I left him because I was realizing that he had a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde personality. I documented stuff and recorded him when he tried attacking me. So i have receipts, then he tried telling me that he would post things up about me. 😂.I told him to go ahead because I would print out everything I had on him and post it up on his neighborhood so that people can see who he really is. He called me super corny and then got quiet when I told him that I should have left him 3 months in. Thank God 🙏 i didn't waste a long time with him. Even though going on 2 years was still too long to me
Mine started smearing me years ago.
And I just got my divorce on October 21, 2024.
Say nothing, soon everyone will see the patterns.
Even when am the one putting food in the table she was lying
They can believe everything he says cause they never really knew me. I met his best mate once in 2 & half yrs. If their going to judge me on someone they don't know then I class them as low as him. I bet they don't know anything about his toxic behaviours on he acted in the relationship oh no. 😂
Hey Lee how are you i have had a busy morning im at the Salon able to sit down and try to catch up.
doing well. hope you are
@@MentalHealness I am doing great I must say. I'm so late catching up
If people want to believe the narc....i won't have anything to do with you neither. Let his life show who was the abusive one.
Sitting! 💀💀💀
What if he lies to the new supply who knew about me but still got with him. Then the new supply brags about he's in love with her
The day after I married him.
I need to do a video like this on my channel but Lee is right though, I am self aware diagnosed narcissist and the bottom line was always control and to hurt the other person, sad but tru.