Roses are red

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024
  • Roses are red,
    if you subscribed I'd be glad.
    But you don't have to do what I say,
    I mean, who am I, your Dad??

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,2 тис.

  • @mr_inzaine
    @mr_inzaine 11 місяців тому +11047

    Violins are blue

  • @gwensroses-quit
    @gwensroses-quit 11 місяців тому +8034

    Imagine if we gave Matt a bunch of crazy would-you-rather’s and he had to sit there for about half an hour answering them all

    • @turbo_marc
      @turbo_marc 11 місяців тому +621

      skullemoji

    • @thegoattrain
      @thegoattrain 11 місяців тому +395

      Would you rather have infinite games and no bacon or infinite games games infinite bacon or no games infinite no bacon no games

    • @Matt_Rose
      @Matt_Rose  11 місяців тому +1399

      This sounds relevant to your interests ua-cam.com/video/BwoVlg24RD4/v-deo.html

    • @sunnyquinn3888
      @sunnyquinn3888 11 місяців тому +78

      Would you rather have infinite vomiting or invincible diarrhea?

    • @gwensroses-quit
      @gwensroses-quit 11 місяців тому +79

      ⁠@@Matt_RoseThe king of skullemojis himself has replied to me 👀 (The video was very relevant, thank you Matt 👌)

  • @Nutella2004
    @Nutella2004 11 місяців тому +777

    I love the moose sign in that it implies that an unkillable moose is 5km ahead and they just accepted it and put the sign up as a warning.

    • @jasperjazzie
      @jasperjazzie 7 місяців тому +50

      there's not much else to do besides accept it, they're not dumb or prideful enough to think they can fight the invincible moose

    • @18Hongo
      @18Hongo 6 місяців тому +31

      This is the warm-blooded equivalent of the SCP Foundation's "Hard to destroy reptile".

    • @chroniclesofoddities8893
      @chroniclesofoddities8893 6 місяців тому +29

      the fact they called it an invincible moose means they attempted to kill it and failed

    • @contain_the_Bismarck-i5c
      @contain_the_Bismarck-i5c 4 місяці тому +13

      rose are red
      my name is not dave
      i’m bad at poems
      microwave

    • @Fog799
      @Fog799 4 місяці тому +6

      Average day in alaska and canada

  • @-inFinity05-
    @-inFinity05- 11 місяців тому +3833

    Matt Rose is the perfect way to procrastinate! Thank you good sir.

    • @Matt_Rose
      @Matt_Rose  11 місяців тому +785

      No worries! Now get back to whatever you were supposed to be doing!

    • @-inFinity05-
      @-inFinity05- 11 місяців тому +273

      @@Matt_Rose Fine…

    • @itookallthenames
      @itookallthenames 11 місяців тому +99

      Roses are red violets are blue Matt Rose told me to stop procrastinating it’s 546am Matt let me finish my brew!

    • @yeetrepublic9142
      @yeetrepublic9142 11 місяців тому +29

      @@Matt_RoseMaybe later...

    • @porciwall9261
      @porciwall9261 11 місяців тому +28

      Roses are red, violets are blue,
      I took a wrong step now my legs snapped in two

  • @AxolBedwars
    @AxolBedwars 11 місяців тому +1619

    Matt Rose's head crumpling the instant it is touched by water is not something I ever thought I'd see but it makes perfect sense

    • @Matt_Rose
      @Matt_Rose  11 місяців тому +466

      I'm made out of candyfloss 🤫

    • @RockismyAir
      @RockismyAir 11 місяців тому +44

      I somehow believe that very easily.

    • @saltygooseundertale7412
      @saltygooseundertale7412 11 місяців тому +86

      ​@@Matt_Rose "Candyfloss?" What are you, some kind of British man??

    • @AstralTheNightwing
      @AstralTheNightwing 11 місяців тому +50

      @@saltygooseundertale7412 and he talks with that silly accent too! smh my head

    • @Blue-Maned_Hawk
      @Blue-Maned_Hawk 11 місяців тому

      @@saltygooseundertale7412 At least it's not what the french apparently call it. I'd say it also means he might slaughter and process you in order to cross the English channel, but i don't want to get sued for libel.

  • @DevotedOgrim05
    @DevotedOgrim05 9 місяців тому +274

    Being banned from the sea really sounds like a curse. Like, they can't just expell you from the entire global ocean, right?

    • @derekstryder2281
      @derekstryder2281 6 місяців тому +28

      Poseidon and Zeus on their way to screw that guy in particular:

    • @VortexF
      @VortexF 5 місяців тому +10

      One Piece be like

    • @germanelkapo1
      @germanelkapo1 5 місяців тому +14

      @@derekstryder2281 Poseidon: You dare underestimate the seas?
      Zeus: You dare underestimate the winds?
      Hades: Could you at least get more informed about your chances to survive before trying a stunt like that? I'm quite busy over here. Live a good life if you'd rather be on the Asphodel Meadows than where you'd have headed.

    • @nirablackfire2792
      @nirablackfire2792 4 місяці тому

      Jokes aside, they can't, a country can only claim so much ocean away from their coast. If someone hits international waters, there's legally nothing they can do to inforce a ban lol.

  • @Captain_Maeve
    @Captain_Maeve 11 місяців тому +469

    Violets are green,
    Matt is our Rose
    Once these lines are seen
    You read in rhythmic prose

    • @bbloveseevees8984
      @bbloveseevees8984 11 місяців тому +43

      Roses are red
      I don't have a dime
      I'll be honest fella
      *DO YA WANNA HAVE A BAD TIME?*

    • @Y0uRLoc4lNo0b
      @Y0uRLoc4lNo0b 11 місяців тому +20

      Roses are red, violets are blue, my grandma rises from the dead and will beat me with kung fu

    • @Nat_the_Chicken
      @Nat_the_Chicken 11 місяців тому +28

      Roses are red, I'm reply number three, prose is literally the opposite of this, this is called poetry

    • @inquisitorbenediktanders3142
      @inquisitorbenediktanders3142 11 місяців тому +21

      ​@@Nat_the_Chickenroses are red,
      Violets are blue,
      I believe that was the jest,
      But he didn't fool you.

    • @cewla3348
      @cewla3348 11 місяців тому +29

      @@Nat_the_Chicken roses are red, im number five;
      poetry is subjective, you bloody beehive.

  • @josiahtaylor7967
    @josiahtaylor7967 11 місяців тому +1224

    Petition to make Matt's high-pitched "that was so stupid" into a recognisable meme

    • @SamRK-1000
      @SamRK-1000 11 місяців тому +20

      💀

    • @iamwoke322
      @iamwoke322 11 місяців тому +29

      Roses are red, i like little pups,
      *never gonna give you up-*

    • @vanadios4480
      @vanadios4480 11 місяців тому +14

      SKULL EMOJIIIII

    • @DansuB4nsu03
      @DansuB4nsu03 11 місяців тому +27

      5:26, in case you're looking for it ;)

    • @catswampy
      @catswampy 11 місяців тому +5

      SIGNED

  • @ChaffyExpert
    @ChaffyExpert 6 місяців тому +274

    "Looking for lost frog goes by the name Prince"
    Sounds like an EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION!

  • @m.nic.5080
    @m.nic.5080 11 місяців тому +475

    The mystery croissant animal was actually the funniest thing ever. It happened in Poland, the croissant was thrown out of an apartment window and landed in a tree, and people FREAKED OUT. There was legit panic and no one got close enough to it to get a clear view. To be fair the pictures of it do make it look like some kind of lizard thing if you have a big imagination but it was literally just bread

    • @IceCandyVirika
      @IceCandyVirika 11 місяців тому +8

      HAHA YES

    • @damlatorun6756
      @damlatorun6756 11 місяців тому +45

      Average day in poland

    • @Xezlec
      @Xezlec 11 місяців тому +28

      When they figured it out, I bet there was a chorus of "kurwa"

    • @pecree7933
      @pecree7933 11 місяців тому +5

      I noticed that too

    • @louiserocks1
      @louiserocks1 11 місяців тому +28

      This reminds me one time, when I was a kid, me and my mum freaked out because there was some long black thing beside the sofa, there was a small gap between the sofa and wall, and not much light got there. (and we didn't have phones with flashlights back then) anyway, we both thought that it was a snake or rat or something, with 100% certainty. And both were freaked out and didn't enter the room for days. We came back a few days later, hoping it had died/starved/weakened by that time, and we could approach it.... Yeah it turned out to be a sock lmao

  • @NickAndriadze
    @NickAndriadze 11 місяців тому +921

    Matt is one of the most unhinged people on the entire platform, I absolutely love both his humor and commentary.

  • @oscargill423
    @oscargill423 11 місяців тому +58

    Roses are red, tulips are Dutch-er,
    It's nice when the punchline fits the syllabic structure.

    • @llamasugar5478
      @llamasugar5478 3 місяці тому +3

      Don’t know how I missed this the previous 14x I watched the video . . . _doffs baseball cap and makes a courtly bow_

  • @ScareSans
    @ScareSans 11 місяців тому +352

    "Invincible moose" is like saying "cold ice." Those things are the goddamn artillery of the animal kingdom. They're like deer, but angrier, more muscular, and the size of a passenger van.

    • @loki4807
      @loki4807 8 місяців тому +26

      and get drunk easily.

    • @ScareSans
      @ScareSans 8 місяців тому +26

      @@loki4807 Perpetual drunkenness... Truly the irishmen of the deer family.

    • @loki4807
      @loki4807 8 місяців тому +8

      @@ScareSans Just like the captain.

    • @Paleowgh
      @Paleowgh 8 місяців тому +11

      Never encountered a moose up here in Canada, and I honestly hope I never do for the exact reasons you've stated.

    • @electricay
      @electricay 7 місяців тому +7

      ​@@Paleowghi might be less terrified if i ran into a bear

  • @konservedpeanuts
    @konservedpeanuts 11 місяців тому +700

    I was eating a banana muffin while watching this. At one point I laughed so hard that I breathed in part of the muffin, I thought I was going to implode. Blood is on your hands Matt, but for separate reasons.

    • @SamRK-1000
      @SamRK-1000 11 місяців тому +40

      Hey, at least you didn’t inhale cracker crumbs into your nose like I have done before when eating saltines and watching Game Grumps…

    • @concerningindividual629
      @concerningindividual629 11 місяців тому +109

      Roses are red, this video was somethin', this man nearly died, while eating a muffin

    • @Sprink87
      @Sprink87 11 місяців тому +54

      Roses are red,
      The second commenter is a snacker,
      But eventually realized,
      “Shouldn’t have choked on that cracker.”

    • @konservedpeanuts
      @konservedpeanuts 11 місяців тому +28

      @@concerningindividual629 10/10; would've died while reading this if I had a muffin.

    • @REIN-carnation
      @REIN-carnation 11 місяців тому +16

      Roses are red,
      So is your blood
      You laughed so hard
      Your muffin’s in the mud

  • @Link-from-hyrule
    @Link-from-hyrule 7 місяців тому +65

    1:05
    "so what you in for?"
    "Everything"

  • @PUNKS1DNEY
    @PUNKS1DNEY 11 місяців тому +534

    So annoyed at myself for not having watched Matt for ages, glad to say that I’m back!

    • @mothman_mason
      @mothman_mason 11 місяців тому +30

      welcome back m8!!

    • @Matt_Rose
      @Matt_Rose  11 місяців тому +134

      Oh hey there welcome back!

    • @SPARTANSIX-1
      @SPARTANSIX-1 11 місяців тому +44

      @@Matt_Rosemate you’re one of the reasons I’m not fully depressed so thanks for that :D

    • @Matt_Rose
      @Matt_Rose  11 місяців тому +65

      @@SPARTANSIX-1 Glad to help! Stay strong, things'll get better 👍

    • @j_cannot_type
      @j_cannot_type 11 місяців тому +9

      ​@Matt_Rose matt ily youre so nice 😭😭😭

  • @bandaipleasedontsueme
    @bandaipleasedontsueme 11 місяців тому +763

    4:46 (if this is what i think this article is about) i'm here to add a little bit of context to this! the person who made this vagina kayak is named megumi igarashi, she goes by the pseudonym rokudenashiko (meaning good-for-nothing girl), she's a japanese artist who mostly creates artwork and sculptures based off her vulva. the reason a lot of her artwork is based around her vagina is because in japan, the penis is widely celebrated in an art form (see the kanamara matsuri festival for more information) while the vagina is considered taboo and obscene. while a lot of her work focused around her vulva is infamous as is, the vagina kayak as mentioned in the article. (it's titled man-boat btw, the name comes from the japanese slang word manko, meaning pussy, and the english word boat, referring to the kayak itself.) man-boat was created throughout 2013, and was finally finished and sailed down the tama river in march of 2014. at the event, she emailed the (what i'm assuming) .stl file for man-boat to 65 of her crowdfund supporters who sent her 3,000 or more yen throughout the creation of the man-boat, and gave 17 cd-roms containing the .stl file to others. she got arrested on july of the same year, not for sailing down the tama river, but for distributing the (again, only assuming here, folks) .stl file. she spent a week in jail and got out soon after. she was then arrested again in december of that year for showing off decorated dioramas of her vulva (which she calls deco-man) at a sex shop. the owner of said sex shop was also arrested and later released. rokudenashiko was held in the prison for nearly a month and was released on december 28th, on bail, which led to her trial in april of 2015. the court arrived to a verdict in may: not guilty for sailing the man-boat down the tama river, but guilty for distributing the .stl files. (she had to pay a 400,000 yen fine because of this, which is about 3660 usd.)
    how do i know all this? well, her article was on wikipedia's unusual articles list, of course! (i also mainly got the information of this comment from said wikipedia article)

    • @jimboned
      @jimboned 11 місяців тому +45

      i remember seeing something about this !! i knew the article title sounded familiar

    • @kryw10
      @kryw10 11 місяців тому +86

      That actually is fascinating.

    • @1Thunderfire
      @1Thunderfire 11 місяців тому

      Gotta love the double standards. Penis = good, vagina = bad?

    • @giorgospapoutsakis5271
      @giorgospapoutsakis5271 11 місяців тому +1

      That's probably the most weird stories I've heard maybe ever,this one definitely stands out in the entire video

    • @g00dbunny
      @g00dbunny 11 місяців тому +7

      i aint reading allat

  • @Rosa-Lili
    @Rosa-Lili 11 місяців тому +36

    Why did I read it as "invisible moose next 5 km", which actually brought me here into this amazing video

    • @Sylveon2589
      @Sylveon2589 11 місяців тому +5

      WAIT IT ISN'T INVISIBLE??

    • @Rosa-Lili
      @Rosa-Lili 11 місяців тому +6

      @@Sylveon2589 It said "invincible" not "invisible" LMAO

    • @xn85d2
      @xn85d2 3 місяці тому +6

      "Invincible moose" is even better because it suggests at least one failed attempt to defeat the moose.

  • @HungryWarden
    @HungryWarden 11 місяців тому +439

    Roses are red, Matt Rose’s content is gold.
    Your catchphrase “SKULLEMOJI” will never get old.

  • @artfuldodgerrr
    @artfuldodgerrr 11 місяців тому +128

    Roses are red,
    My head's full of prose,
    What better way to spend Monday night,
    Than watching Matt Rose?

    • @kibertyisgay
      @kibertyisgay 11 місяців тому +3

      Woah, that was actually really good.

    • @kibertyisgay
      @kibertyisgay 11 місяців тому

      Woah, that was actually really good.

    • @malthe236
      @malthe236 Місяць тому

      Woah, that was actually really good.

  • @cormacmccarthy1889
    @cormacmccarthy1889 11 місяців тому +158

    Whoever came up with the "Invincible Moose" one is an actual genius
    "Roses are red,
    Mercury is in thermometers,
    INVINCIBLE MOOSE
    Next five kilometres"

    • @astarpixel_
      @astarpixel_ 4 місяці тому

      Wait a minute, what are you doing here?

  • @silliestbear
    @silliestbear 11 місяців тому +681

    This is amazing, this is a masterpiece. The poems are so random and hilarious and I love it!

    • @Regal2313
      @Regal2313 11 місяців тому +1

      Bro hasn’t even seen the whole thing yet😭

    • @EdwardSlayford-jh6og
      @EdwardSlayford-jh6og 11 місяців тому +3

      Roses are red and violets are blue this British man isn't doo doo

    • @mrBrod._.
      @mrBrod._. 11 місяців тому +1

      aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA help

    • @mcvenne8935
      @mcvenne8935 11 місяців тому +5

      From your comment's rhythm, I thought it would rhyme. My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined. 😔

    • @GumSkyloard
      @GumSkyloard 11 місяців тому

      They're lovely.

  • @kaidabronks
    @kaidabronks 11 місяців тому +57

    Matt getting EXTRA British when exposed to water is something to take note of when he tries to toast your bread in your dreams.

  • @Stagecoach_Studios
    @Stagecoach_Studios 8 місяців тому +11

    5:22
    Many people need a lover, that’s why there’s Cupid.
    You’re right Matt, that was pretty stupid.

  • @thejoabear
    @thejoabear 11 місяців тому +81

    These videos are hilarious, Matt. Thanks for being our Jester.
    I tried to make a better rhyme, but the longer I take, the longer it festers.

  • @RACINGUS95
    @RACINGUS95 11 місяців тому +240

    1:49 the sheer monotone way Matt says “f*ck off” just killed me 💀

  • @trinityevechandler5801
    @trinityevechandler5801 5 місяців тому +15

    Roses are red, violets are purple. Are you aware that there is a Pokémon called Wurmple?

  • @Logitah
    @Logitah 11 місяців тому +139

    You always make me laugh in weird ways. This time I sounded like a chair being moved.

  • @shipnerd27
    @shipnerd27 11 місяців тому +65

    Matt is the only guy who would ever read the most random stuff while drinking whiskey and making it hilarious.

  • @texan_mapping-1836
    @texan_mapping-1836 10 місяців тому +10

    Roses are red, your house is gone, for I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.

  • @squiddwizzard8850
    @squiddwizzard8850 11 місяців тому +12

    Thanks Matt for unknowingly comforting me during a two day panic episode.

  • @FurnzSaysStuff
    @FurnzSaysStuff 11 місяців тому +13

    the britishness radiating off that 'that was so stupid' is magical

  • @Wubotanist
    @Wubotanist 3 місяці тому +5

    Roses are red,
    Something is wrong.
    Where is my
    Luigi Bong?

  • @y0ur.fav3_w3ird0.Darcy_
    @y0ur.fav3_w3ird0.Darcy_ 11 місяців тому +168

    Hey Matt, just wanted to say I love your video’s they never fail to make me smile :)

    • @MistyInTheCloudz
      @MistyInTheCloudz 5 місяців тому

      mlp fan who watches this channel spotted in the wild ?? wanna be friends?

  • @KomOnsLees
    @KomOnsLees 11 місяців тому +67

    With all the nonsense he has pronounced perfectly, I think that matrix meme is the first time I've ever hear Matt read a sentence incorrectly

    • @UltimaPhoenix15
      @UltimaPhoenix15 6 місяців тому +5

      How is it supposed to be read?
      Edit: I reread the stupid thing. I feel so dumb.

    • @Luigicat11
      @Luigicat11 6 місяців тому +7

      I was looking over the wrong top line so I was so confused.

    • @kodakasaur9518
      @kodakasaur9518 4 місяці тому +1

      What about Tiddly widdly wop (wop)?

  • @Frotheru_The_Dragon
    @Frotheru_The_Dragon Місяць тому +10

    5:27 matt rose would rather put his life at danger than to use soundeffects.

  • @itsthejavavoid
    @itsthejavavoid 11 місяців тому +50

    5:22
    roses are red
    most cars are grey
    why'd you do that matt, are you okay?

  • @lonestranger
    @lonestranger 11 місяців тому +22

    Plenty of Canadians can't correctly pronounce Saanich, but Matt did so perfectly.

  • @charliepappas-rr3rv
    @charliepappas-rr3rv 3 місяці тому +17

    4:20 guys i think we have an
    EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION

  • @doodlebyte7964
    @doodlebyte7964 11 місяців тому +68

    I genuinely choked on my food when you read out "if water is water don't ice is hot to cold water you'd brain". It was the sound effect of the glass of water that really got me

    • @wishiwasmaren2608
      @wishiwasmaren2608 8 місяців тому +5

      I knew as soon as I heard it that he'd actually poured it on himself

  • @ChaosCorrupt3d
    @ChaosCorrupt3d 11 місяців тому +7

    Matt:
    Roses are red
    Matt Rose is me
    Today we’re doing these memes
    Skull E-
    My headphones: HAHA YOU THOUGHT “Power off 😌”

  • @cameraman01productions
    @cameraman01productions 11 місяців тому +61

    Roses are red,
    I have to pee,
    Matt’s vids are the best,
    💀

  • @clockwork3494
    @clockwork3494 11 місяців тому +18

    "What I if told you, you read the top line wrong"
    "Oh god damn you.."
    I felt that Matt.

  • @ToastStealer1332
    @ToastStealer1332 9 місяців тому +6

    At 2:42 the aircraft at hand appears to be some sort of ground effect vehicle. It's a good design too, as the wings are a reverse gull wing, with the engines mounted in front and below to maximize the air compressed during flight. The T-tail is nessesary to prevent any disturbed airflow to the tailplane, increasing overall stability. Kudos to whoever designed it.

  • @trinityy-7
    @trinityy-7 11 місяців тому +135

    "if water is water don't ice is hot to cold water you'd brain"
    words to live by

    • @twistedcoasters1533
      @twistedcoasters1533 11 місяців тому +12

      Roses are red,
      The best food is fried,

    • @pikgears
      @pikgears 11 місяців тому +18

      ​@@twistedcoasters1533don't eat strange bread, you might trip balls and die

    • @StuffandThings_
      @StuffandThings_ 11 місяців тому +12

      "Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food"

    • @d3vonitehacks
      @d3vonitehacks 10 місяців тому +1

      roses are red, pointing is rude, @@StuffandThings_

    • @埊
      @埊 10 місяців тому +1

      and not ending poems is causing problems.@@d3vonitehacks

  • @rockercaterrorencountered4924
    @rockercaterrorencountered4924 11 місяців тому +40

    the woman at 2:06 is a badass, she sprinted out to scare off a massive bald eagle in nothing but her underwear. I highly recommend watching the original video, the picture doesn't do justice to just how intimidating an adult bald eagle is. The goose is fine btw, it somehow got away without being hurt despite the eagle getting it off the ground at one point.

  • @sportstackeroctober2531
    @sportstackeroctober2531 5 місяців тому +11

    The enunciation of 'banned' at 1:44 get me every time

  • @c4n8r
    @c4n8r 11 місяців тому +87

    2:29 i love that seals can just *_PHWOOM_*

  • @Scribblemations
    @Scribblemations 11 місяців тому +74

    Our good UA-camr pal, Matt Rose, never fails to be red inside of us

    • @dizzy_jump
      @dizzy_jump 11 місяців тому +3

      prozd moment

    • @janslavik5284
      @janslavik5284 11 місяців тому +2

      @@dizzy_jump King Dragon sends his regards

    • @Scribblemations
      @Scribblemations 11 місяців тому +1

      edited to fix his name and be funny again

    • @dizzy_jump
      @dizzy_jump 11 місяців тому +2

      @@Scribblemations "and be funny again" funny how you replaced an actually ok comment with an unoriginal and unfunny joke

    • @Scribblemations
      @Scribblemations 11 місяців тому +1

      @@dizzy_jump literally just the name change

  • @JackieJackJackerJacky
    @JackieJackJackerJacky 9 місяців тому +21

    3:46 I like how the meme is a screenshot lol

  • @tristandaries1129
    @tristandaries1129 11 місяців тому +69

    1:21 in South Africa it’s pretty common for traditional African families to name their children the thing they thought, in English, when they first saw the child, kind of like how Americans sometimes give their kids Asian names because of their meaning, so things like Hope and Opportunity are pretty common, I’ve actually met a guy named Nice before

  • @owlhousefanatic-r4l
    @owlhousefanatic-r4l 11 місяців тому +23

    Video suggestion:
    I think you should make a compilation of people’s worst school play experiences. It would be hilarious!

  • @KevinTheFluffyWolfy
    @KevinTheFluffyWolfy 11 місяців тому +3

    I honestly don’t know how the hell he keeps finding these, he’s just gotta look in the weirdest places I guess. I like it.

  • @pauline_f328
    @pauline_f328 11 місяців тому +65

    2:40 That was the most aggressive-sounding read of an asexual meme I've ever heard 😂

    • @dianebomberry3794
      @dianebomberry3794 8 місяців тому

      It’s not acesexal

    • @pauline_f328
      @pauline_f328 8 місяців тому +10

      @@dianebomberry3794 Garlic bread is a very common meme among asexual people and has hence become a symbol of sorts for asexuality. Originally the saying was something about how many of us asexuals would rather have cake than sex, but things have shifted to garlic bread over the years - maybe because of the word cake being used to mean butt, or because garlic bread was healthier, I don't know (at least I personally heard it in that order)
      As such, someone claiming "yeah sex is great but have you had garlic bread" explicitly comes off as a reference to the asexual community, whether that was intentional or not on the part of the person who made that post

    • @MicahPachirisuGuy
      @MicahPachirisuGuy 8 місяців тому

      ​@@pauline_f328garlic bread is for everyone

    • @theguythatasked6400
      @theguythatasked6400 5 місяців тому +1

      The a stands for anger

    • @IGOTTRIXUPMYSLEEVE
      @IGOTTRIXUPMYSLEEVE Місяць тому

      You got the timing off lmao

  • @gracefulbean9894
    @gracefulbean9894 11 місяців тому +41

    Hey Matt! Just wanted to say “thanks,” since I’m coming up on my first college finals, and your videos are still making me laugh, even though I’m really nervous!

    • @chillcreep4926
      @chillcreep4926 11 місяців тому +3

      You're gonna do great! Study study

    • @gracefulbean9894
      @gracefulbean9894 11 місяців тому +2

      @@chillcreep4926 Thank you so much!!

    • @aritheblob
      @aritheblob 11 місяців тому +2

      late but good luck!

  • @natschaefer1044
    @natschaefer1044 Місяць тому +1

    My favourite is still "Roses are red, fish have gills, Teenager is arrested after buying a PlayStation for £8 by weighing it in the fruit section and paying for 6lb of food at self-service tills"

  • @something1600
    @something1600 11 місяців тому +70

    4:13 I can just tell that this is England.

  • @qckreplacementvideos7561
    @qckreplacementvideos7561 11 місяців тому +18

    My dad was a teacher and told me about the time a girl wrote a love poem to her crush.
    Roses are red
    VIOLENCE is blue
    ...
    I love you I love you I love you

    • @MegidolErin
      @MegidolErin 11 місяців тому +3

      I meeean, it's not wrong lmao

    • @HungryWarden
      @HungryWarden 11 місяців тому +6

      Violence isn’t blue itself but it probably makes you blue.

    • @MistyInTheCloudz
      @MistyInTheCloudz 5 місяців тому

      girl was like “roses are red, violets are blue,
      i love you a lot, i really do,
      love me back or i’ll *_commit violent acts_* towards you”

  • @itsMichqel
    @itsMichqel 11 місяців тому +28

    5:11 Should’ve been “My homework isn’t done. Now I am doomed”

  • @aliquistapes
    @aliquistapes 11 місяців тому +9

    stockpiled a bunch of matt's videos like the gremlin i am and watched them all at once. can confirm lots of matt in rapid succession is one of the greatest feelings ever.

  • @lucitechrepairs
    @lucitechrepairs 11 місяців тому +54

    MATT'S SCREAM AT THE END AHAHAHAHAHA

  • @MauroMeeusen
    @MauroMeeusen 11 місяців тому +4

    Matt: *sees 💀*
    *fills longs with air*
    *screams:*
    sssssskeehhHHHUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLlll emOOJEEEYYYYyyy

  • @zenbamboo7978
    @zenbamboo7978 11 місяців тому +10

    The sheer excitement as I screeched "INVINCIBLE MOOSE NEXT FIVE KILOMETRES!" Is just beautiful . I was only it on Instagram maybe a month ago and secretly knew somehow Matt would find it

  • @Periwinkleaccount
    @Periwinkleaccount 11 місяців тому +41

    3:36 Roses are red, I’m not an organ donor, this media has been disabled in response to a report by the copyright owner.

  • @Gaminggoodboi
    @Gaminggoodboi 11 місяців тому +4

    Had to stop wacthing in class because I was laughing.

  • @Absbor
    @Absbor 11 місяців тому +19

    english rhymes are funky. german rhymes are written the same way.
    but english rhymes can't always be done the same thing, cuz the pronunciation is fricked up.
    thankfully the german rule can still be applied to english rhyming. while i enjoy my tea in my cup.
    anyways: Matt your videos slay.

  • @rinnieai
    @rinnieai 11 місяців тому +115

    5:28 is the glass okay

    • @Spongyboi897
      @Spongyboi897 11 місяців тому +34

      he brained

    • @maxwellrobertson4831
      @maxwellrobertson4831 11 місяців тому +15

      Judging by the sound, it seems so (hopefully). It sounded more like a cushioned clunk than a shatter you'd expect if it broke apart, so I'd guess it landed on carpet or something which cushioned its landing (it also looked like a decently thick glass, so it shouldn't have been all that flimsy)

    • @maxwellrobertson4831
      @maxwellrobertson4831 11 місяців тому +10

      My more detailed, patented sound transcription: cushioned clunk, followed by a clink (presumably one end hit first, then the other touched the ground a little after)

  • @Kinemio
    @Kinemio 11 місяців тому +4

    Roses are red.
    Violets are blue:
    My life is on fire,
    and so are you.

  • @A.Brooklry
    @A.Brooklry 11 місяців тому +54

    I like how a good amount of people who sees this comment paused at 3:06 because that meme confused them so much

    • @BLP_Memes
      @BLP_Memes 3 місяці тому +4

      Reminds me of: “Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?”

  • @whatTFisThis
    @whatTFisThis 11 місяців тому +55

    3:30
    roses are red
    violets are blue
    as someone who has lived with sheep her entire life, yea that sounds like something theyd do

    • @whatTFisThis
      @whatTFisThis 11 місяців тому +2

      @@HungryWarden oh damn

    • @Jellotines
      @Jellotines 6 місяців тому +2

      Violets are blue should be replaced with "People told her to shoo"

    • @ralseidemurrer
      @ralseidemurrer 5 місяців тому +2

      Cows will do that too

  • @bugorchard
    @bugorchard 3 місяці тому +1

    "Mystery animal in tree turns out to be croissant" has me actually holding back tears

  • @SapphireHeartTippy
    @SapphireHeartTippy 11 місяців тому +70

    2:34
    In space, no one can hear you *cream*

    • @Trainboi1983
      @Trainboi1983 11 місяців тому

      I have not risd but have wet dreammed

    • @m3tamorphosissystem250
      @m3tamorphosissystem250 8 місяців тому +1

      CREAM is a slang for money, not for ejaculation.

    • @m3tamorphosissystem250
      @m3tamorphosissystem250 8 місяців тому +1

      Cash Rules Everything Around Mr

    • @naytnight
      @naytnight 6 місяців тому

      ​@@m3tamorphosissystem250C.R.E.A.M. get the money
      dolla dolla bill yall

    • @Brownie_Toasty
      @Brownie_Toasty 2 місяці тому

      ​@@kingstonlovely7404HEY! NO! GET BACK IN THE BASEMENT!!

  • @connorburton1009
    @connorburton1009 11 місяців тому +5

    I've never seen that DMX tweet before. That's the best tweet I've ever seen.

  • @sophiachalloner8951
    @sophiachalloner8951 11 місяців тому +1

    Roses are red
    Voilets are VOILET
    Glad we finally got that cleared up.

    • @usertedi
      @usertedi 7 місяців тому

      what's a voilet?

    • @sophiachalloner8951
      @sophiachalloner8951 7 місяців тому

      @@usertedi the feeling of wishing your autocorrect didn't hate you.

    • @tsifirakiehl4250
      @tsifirakiehl4250 4 місяці тому +1

      Roses are red, violets are purple, an unsteady walk can be called a hirple!

  • @dhararry7929
    @dhararry7929 11 місяців тому +68

    1:04 ladies and gentlemen... we got em

    • @MistyInTheCloudz
      @MistyInTheCloudz 11 місяців тому +7

      sounds like something Florida man is prone to

    • @matthewboire6843
      @matthewboire6843 11 місяців тому +5

      I know who was arrested for everything
      Rick Sanchez

    • @alexandalmondagent7and963
      @alexandalmondagent7and963 11 місяців тому +2

      ​@@matthewboire6843Or Nagito Komaeda from Danganronpa 2 (I've seen vines of the Danganronpa series)

    • @lukiwei9468
      @lukiwei9468 3 місяці тому +2

      @@alexandalmondagent7and963Or Grunkle Stan

  • @Glegh
    @Glegh 11 місяців тому +7

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Matt Rose,
    I am coming for you

  • @Manel-dq2kb
    @Manel-dq2kb 10 місяців тому +1

    I'm on the bus and "Sorry for the inconvenience, but right now we is out of *H A M"* just made me break into laughter in public

  • @bammythegreat
    @bammythegreat 11 місяців тому +7

    your videos always come out on chemo day for me when i need a smile most, thanks matt :)

  • @yayyytt
    @yayyytt 11 місяців тому +38

    Roses are red,
    Life has no meaning,
    Three thousand voices
    Are constantly screaming

    • @dontmicrowaveinstantramen
      @dontmicrowaveinstantramen 3 місяці тому +4

      roses are red,
      i have no direction,
      go get a therapist,
      not a youtube comments section

    • @shreyaspamaraju262
      @shreyaspamaraju262 2 місяці тому +2

      Roses are red,
      Your comment is depressing.
      please seek help,
      Instead of confessing

  • @bastianrevazov7425
    @bastianrevazov7425 11 місяців тому +1

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    This video is amazing
    and I'd LOVE a part 2

  • @12MyNameIs
    @12MyNameIs 11 місяців тому +118

    YOU COULD'VE NAMED THE VIDEO MATT ROSES ARE RED

  • @Ryenyethescienceguy
    @Ryenyethescienceguy 11 місяців тому +35

    A true poetic magnum opus! Always a treat when you upload, Matt!

  • @lumieas
    @lumieas 11 місяців тому +57

    roses are red, violets r blue, i cheer up whenever i watch u, THANKS FOR ANOTHER MASTERPIECE MATT 💀❗

  • @sumrealpancakes
    @sumrealpancakes 4 місяці тому +1

    "Roses are red,
    Matt Rose is me,
    Today we're doing these memes,
    *SKULL EMOJI!* "
    Got me laughing so hard

  • @danmanproking2179
    @danmanproking2179 11 місяців тому +31

    Even the first rhyme is a sign this one will be a banger.

  • @TheGoldfishArmy
    @TheGoldfishArmy 11 місяців тому +50

    0:52 Sounds like something out of "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever"

    • @KitCatIsNotACat
      @KitCatIsNotACat 11 місяців тому +5

      I just watched that movie and you know what, you’re right.

    • @tsifirakiehl4250
      @tsifirakiehl4250 11 місяців тому +6

      Oh, I starred in the stage version of “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” when I was ten years old!

    • @KitCatIsNotACat
      @KitCatIsNotACat 11 місяців тому +4

      @@tsifirakiehl4250 cool!

    • @NON-BINARYKINGOFDARKNESS
      @NON-BINARYKINGOFDARKNESS 10 місяців тому +2

      True

  • @gamerguy2259
    @gamerguy2259 11 місяців тому +1

    Saw this online:
    "Roses are red, Love is the feeling, Badger falls through Northampton Superdrug shop ceiling."

  • @Metacred
    @Metacred 11 місяців тому +5

    The best part of mondays are, matt roses skullemojiiii

  • @prdus
    @prdus 11 місяців тому +7

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I can't rhyme
    Microwave

  • @Paleowgh
    @Paleowgh 10 місяців тому +1

    I love that a species of fish that only lives in water is treated as this massive revelation.

  • @lwpeacekeeper
    @lwpeacekeeper 11 місяців тому +74

    2:22 no way i thought they live on land

    • @MagicRhymes1
      @MagicRhymes1 11 місяців тому +4

      Wdym? Everyone knows fish live in the sky!

    • @vadimplays4949
      @vadimplays4949 11 місяців тому +2

      ​@@MagicRhymes1i thought they lived in lava

    • @MagicRhymes1
      @MagicRhymes1 11 місяців тому +2

      @@vadimplays4949 no you're thinking of fire flies

    • @Neil-rl4lk
      @Neil-rl4lk 11 місяців тому +1

      @@MagicRhymes1they live in fire because *clears throat* 🤓 *fire* flies.

    • @MagicRhymes1
      @MagicRhymes1 11 місяців тому +1

      @@Neil-rl4lk yep

  • @_AstaLily
    @_AstaLily 11 місяців тому +18

    I still want to know what the guy from the impressing your crush video you made was going to say after “Knuckles is red, Sonic is blue”

    • @SauciMations112
      @SauciMations112 11 місяців тому

      Probably something sexual that ends in __________ you

    • @kaleenar963
      @kaleenar963 11 місяців тому +6

      “Will you be my Player 2?”
      I’ve heard this joke before.

    • @MrFourchords
      @MrFourchords 10 місяців тому +1

      I think it was let's press start will you be my player 2

  • @NotA_Pilot351
    @NotA_Pilot351 11 місяців тому +1

    Roses are red, theres a moose, you might think you're safe, but its on the loose

  • @ClassikSprites
    @ClassikSprites 11 місяців тому +94

    0:44 ok but genuinely on god, what the 💀.

  • @Aurarora
    @Aurarora 11 місяців тому +46

    4:53 OOH, that's a good one!

  • @zerokuroxy
    @zerokuroxy 11 місяців тому +2

    Thank you for your insight, Mr. Tyson.

  • @MemeShitpostTunes
    @MemeShitpostTunes 11 місяців тому +4

    these lovely poems have a perfect flow

  • @kuperlilu5340
    @kuperlilu5340 11 місяців тому +6

    I was doing homework, but this seemed more important.

  • @initialdae8642
    @initialdae8642 11 місяців тому +27

    0:21 bruh only in Canada

  • @invurret9533
    @invurret9533 11 місяців тому +54

    0:42
    If she was gonna do that he dodged a Drone Strike holy shit that's psychotic