“My 23-Year-Old Wife Won’t Allow Us To Combine Finances”

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  • Опубліковано 27 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,4 тис.

  • @natashamwangi4890
    @natashamwangi4890 5 місяців тому +727

    He's a 34YO married to a 23YO hoping to use her money to support him and his father while she has 2 kids to worry about. Absolutely TF not

    • @leeriley7789
      @leeriley7789 5 місяців тому +41

      When you marry, it's ours, not hers

    • @FMD70757
      @FMD70757 5 місяців тому +86

      You are agreeing with the original comment without realizing.
      Correct: The “ours” should refer to the married couple. The irresponsible father in law should not be included.

    • @bugermcking4968
      @bugermcking4968 5 місяців тому

      @@FMD70757 But not involving the father in law is not anybody's business but the couple's. Married couples rightfully care for elderly parents all the time. And the extent that they choose to care for him is up to them, not the father in law and not random people online.

    • @ryanj357
      @ryanj357 5 місяців тому +12

      The age gap is not the problem here… Plenty of people have happy marriages with age gaps. In a marriage no matter the difference. The money is both theirs.

    • @Calibrownsfan
      @Calibrownsfan 5 місяців тому +7

      you have that backwards. She married him looking for financial support but wants to keep her own money.

  • @CharlotteRose-qb3tr
    @CharlotteRose-qb3tr 5 місяців тому +440

    He expects the wife to cut spending, but doesn't expect his father to, so he has money in retirement.
    This mess isn't going to last long.

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 5 місяців тому +17

      🎯 Ramsey Solutions folks have been glossing over ever damn elephant in the room for awhile now.

  • @lindawilson4625
    @lindawilson4625 5 місяців тому +530

    Big red flag-Take care of my dad? No wonder she doesn't want to combine. She needs to look out for her kids.

    • @bugermcking4968
      @bugermcking4968 5 місяців тому +14

      Agreed. But most people can usually do both to some extent. Often all elderly parents need is a room in your basement and their savings and welfare can take care of the rest. That cost the kid almost nothing.

    • @kusali11
      @kusali11 5 місяців тому +5

      @@bugermcking4968 plus the old man can watch the kids when needed.

    • @user-kpkxgtj
      @user-kpkxgtj 5 місяців тому +20

      @@kusali11 that's setting up additional expectations that may not be met - dad may not have the physical agility, interest or temperament to watch 2 babies.

    • @marcushoward6560
      @marcushoward6560 5 місяців тому +1

      You're not wrong on the first part, but WHO needs to look out for WHO'S kids?

    • @MrFrankielee1992
      @MrFrankielee1992 5 місяців тому +2

      If that's a red flag then I hope her parents don't need assistance in their old age.

  • @SuzanneQuew-vc4us
    @SuzanneQuew-vc4us 5 місяців тому +845

    A 23-year old mother of 7 month old twins should NOT be supporting her husband’s daddy, that is RIDICULOUS!

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 5 місяців тому +86

      This call is a perfect example why you should save for retirement - so you aren’t depending on your 23 year old daughter in law to pay all your bills

    • @murdoch1717
      @murdoch1717 5 місяців тому +28

      She should have done her due diligence. I'm sure if her mom was in dire straits and needed to live with them, she would expect him to be onboard. Her being 23 is irrelevant. She's a grown woman, a wife and a mother.

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 5 місяців тому +27

      @@murdoch1717 if they have two young twins at home and aren’t saving enough money as it is, then she would be wrong to “expect” him to take her mom is. So you’ve inadvertently proved her point - his expectations are wrong.

    • @murdoch1717
      @murdoch1717 5 місяців тому +9

      @@TonyCox1351 Bottom line is this, neither he nor she would allow their parent to be out on the streets whether people agree with it or not. That's my point overall. She would be no different if faced with her elderly mother needing a place to live. It is what it is.

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 5 місяців тому +23

      @@murdoch1717 that fully depends why their dad is “out on the street”. Is he truly out on the street? Why can’t he live in a shitty apartment in the middle of nowhere on social security? Why doesn’t he have any money saved, is it because of unfortunate circumstances beyond his control, or did he spend it his whole life on living beyond his means? I’d have a lot of questions that need answers before letting anyone live in my house

  • @SuzanneQuew-vc4us
    @SuzanneQuew-vc4us 5 місяців тому +430

    This poor girl has gotten herself in deep with this situation…because she was pregnant with twins at 23-years old, making this MAN’s mortgage payment, who is 10 years older than her, and he’s calling a pod cast to complain that she isn’t doing enough, besides raising his children, she must get on board to take care of his (I would estimate) 50-55 year old daddy, who should be working all the time and basically finds himself again with less responsibilities…

    • @KathleenMcNe
      @KathleenMcNe 5 місяців тому +46

      She erred in marrying this man.

    • @janebaker4912
      @janebaker4912 5 місяців тому

      This! This guy sucks

    • @djosserperrah9563
      @djosserperrah9563 5 місяців тому

      Its their money of thwy arw married

    • @SuzanneQuew-vc4us
      @SuzanneQuew-vc4us 5 місяців тому

      @@djosserperrah9563 nope

    • @janebaker4912
      @janebaker4912 5 місяців тому

      @@djosserperrah9563 and he'll make her hard earned money his father's money.

  • @paidinfull7886
    @paidinfull7886 5 місяців тому +590

    You married a 19 year old at the age of 30 expecting her to help pull you out of debt. She’s already paying the entire mortgage while you cover “everything elese”, which is asinine but I won’t touch on that. What do you expect from a person you’ve had a 10 year head start on? I wouldn’t combine finances with someone who is clearly wanting to take advantage of me. Dave and the co-host even raised their eyebrows at the age difference. It’s apart of the problem. I would be ashamed to call in saying my wife who isn’t even old enough to rent a car won’t help my almost mid 30s self get a handle on debt.

    • @Hdhfhhdh
      @Hdhfhhdh 5 місяців тому +23

      Nothing wrong in having 10 year difference. Both of them adults and can make their own decisions

    • @vangtk10
      @vangtk10 5 місяців тому +24

      10 year difference or 20 year difference. It doesn’t matter. They’re married.
      The real issue is them not working together like a married couple.

    • @davidharman7245
      @davidharman7245 5 місяців тому

      Paid in full - I think you strained out a grain of rice to keep a watermelon.
      You don't marry and have kids with someone who you know is trying to take advantage of you. And yeah, you can divorce.
      But the person will NEVER be out of your life because you had kids with them and most people don't get a 100% custody decision from the court.
      You act like the balance of her bank account is her biggest life issue. And, unfortunately it is not.

    • @invinciblesummer2844
      @invinciblesummer2844 5 місяців тому +132

      ​@@Hdhfhhdh A ten year age gap of 32 and 42 isn't a big deal. A ten plus year gap of 19/20 and 32 is inappropriate and highly questionable. When did he start dating her when she was 17 /18?16?

    • @imveryhungry112
      @imveryhungry112 5 місяців тому +83

      This dude is a bum. He's working low wage jobs probably part time. And his wife went to school and got a good job. Now he wants what she's got. Hopefully she doesn't let him do this to her.

  • @katiejon17
    @katiejon17 5 місяців тому +170

    The minute he said at 0:25 that he has to plan to “take care of” his father “when he stops working” because his father “has no retirement” - that answers her “why”. His father has had decades to prepare for retirement, and has chosen not to. Now this caller is planning to financially support his father in retirement? I wouldn’t combine incomes for that either.

    • @apersonontheinternet8006
      @apersonontheinternet8006 5 місяців тому +8

      But if the husbands don't support the wifes families all women want to go nuts over it and tell her to take half plus the house and do it anyway with the alimony.

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 5 місяців тому

      @@apersonontheinternet8006 not even close to “all women”. This mentality that a segment of men have is just the opposite side of the same coin the toxic feminists are on who say things like “all men are pigs”.

    • @RodrigoroRex
      @RodrigoroRex 5 місяців тому +11

      ​@@apersonontheinternet8006What kind of argument is that, if it's the other way around the same logic applies, don't support her family. Doesn't matter if it's the wife or the husband asking for it, they're wrong

    • @apersonontheinternet8006
      @apersonontheinternet8006 5 місяців тому

      @@RodrigoroRex Nonsense. This bs right here is exactly why so many elderly end up being a burden to the taxpayer. Thankfully most of you that say otherwise will have the pleasure of working until you die to see first hand how idiotic you are.

    • @jimmoore3767
      @jimmoore3767 5 місяців тому +3

      @@RodrigoroRexthat’s what happens in reality. When a women is in the bread winner role suddenly the rules change

  • @PepeToTheMooon
    @PepeToTheMooon 5 місяців тому +340

    She’s gonna leave him within a year.

    • @zulikkowalski3547
      @zulikkowalski3547 5 місяців тому +63

      I hope so

    • @gianmarcosalerno1942
      @gianmarcosalerno1942 5 місяців тому +10

      @@zulikkowalski3547 Whats wrong with you?

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 5 місяців тому +68

      Gotta be honest - if I’m looking at 7 month old twins, and my husband suddenly drops on me that he wants to start preparing now to financially support his father whenever he chooses to stop working (0:25)...my first step is not to combine finances. My second step is looking fir a divorce attorney.

    • @user-kpkxgtj
      @user-kpkxgtj 5 місяців тому

      @@dfya3294 say it with me now - he wants a submissive provider...

    • @suebotchie4167
      @suebotchie4167 5 місяців тому +5

      And end up paying HIM alimony. Talk to my coworker's niece.

  • @deborahboos9242
    @deborahboos9242 5 місяців тому +219

    This lady shouldn’t combine finances. Her money will be going towards taking care of his father. The mortgage is probably the largest of the expenses. She can save her money for her retirement. He needs to talk with his father about getting his act together and not relying on his son to fund his retirement.
    This marriage is in trouble already.

    • @michael43567
      @michael43567 2 місяці тому +1

      Why even be married then? They can have sex, sleep in the same bed.... but you draw the line at combining finances?

    • @scrollingxyz
      @scrollingxyz 24 дні тому

      reverse the roles and y'all say otherwise

  • @High5748
    @High5748 5 місяців тому +645

    The guy talks like he's younger than her

    • @daniella8400
      @daniella8400 5 місяців тому

      Yeah because most men Iive in delusional and never mature. Being married to most men is like having an adult son

    • @daniella8400
      @daniella8400 5 місяців тому +52

      That’s why he married her

    • @mkwyche
      @mkwyche 5 місяців тому +49

      Yeah very skeptical of this guy.

    • @RepentImmediately
      @RepentImmediately 5 місяців тому +68

      He's not capable of attracting someone his age.

    • @kbanghart
      @kbanghart 5 місяців тому +15

      ​@@RepentImmediatelypossible, and maybe because of his immaturity she wants to control the finances. Honestly, if she is paying the mortgage and they're both on the deed, they're married, he doesn't have to worry about missing out on that part if they splint, but yeah what is his money going for??

  • @SuzanneQuew-vc4us
    @SuzanneQuew-vc4us 5 місяців тому +238

    You have to hand it to this girl…she didn’t marry for money!😂How is a 23-year old mother of twins making more than her 34-year old husband???😬How is that possible…is he an addict? He must be not working full time. I wouldn’t hand my money over to a man like that, she married him at 20-years old…there’s more to this story. Just because you work TWO JOBS doesn’t mean you work 40+ hours a week…I’m disappointed by this production crew, you think they could have vetted this better or looked at it with an open mind.

    • @ewidontlikeyou
      @ewidontlikeyou 5 місяців тому

      And had his kids. Women disappoint me entertaining these scrubs....

    • @kyleanuar9090
      @kyleanuar9090 5 місяців тому

      Easy, she's fat and he's attractive and totally using her for financial reasons. I know many of these couples and the wives buying expensive toys like luxury cars just to keep a man. Competition is high and many women trying to 'steal' other men just for ego trip. Sad stage of our society and Dave is clueless about the real going ons nowadays. Traditional relationship is finished.

    • @jsChelimo
      @jsChelimo 5 місяців тому +18

      because he's a bum

    • @rusticgardenretreat4892
      @rusticgardenretreat4892 5 місяців тому +13

      They didn't get enough information to tell him what they did. They made her sound wrong from the get go, but if we had the whole story, it might have been a different song playing. He sounded immature.

    • @ifyjoanna
      @ifyjoanna 3 місяці тому +1

      I must have missed something. I didn't get much info. I heard she pays the mortgage and he pays everything else. Is that food, lights car notes, water, misc.

  • @erzabetf9544
    @erzabetf9544 5 місяців тому +219

    This guy’s a piece of work. She’s paying the mortgage. He’s just shocked that this very young woman - who he’s been dating since she was a teenager - won’t give him control of all of her money so he can do whatever he wants with it. It’s tragic that she had children with this snake. If he writes everything out on paper, she’ll see that she’s carrying this guy, who wants her money to take care of his deadbeat father. Tragic.

    • @rusticgardenretreat4892
      @rusticgardenretreat4892 5 місяців тому +17

      Oh you are so right! 23 and doing the mortgage with insurance and taxes thrown in. She carrying a lot.

  • @christie4336
    @christie4336 5 місяців тому +167

    The Caller and his Father should be on the Dave Ramsey plan. Mama is tired! She hasn't slept thru the nite for more then half a year! Plus she works full time and pays the mortgage. Crazy to think She is the one that needs to change right now.

    • @AdultZenfulColoring
      @AdultZenfulColoring 5 місяців тому +10

      His reasons were, "We have twins and my car needs work." Ramsey didn't ask about their childcare costs or why he couldn't pay for his car. It seems this guy wants to mooch off his wife and look good by supporting his father-nothing wrong with that, but he should save for it himself, not rely on his wife. If the roles were reversed, she'd be called a gold digger. Living paycheck to paycheck? Upskill and find a better job to support your family. It's concerning that he's 10 years older and can't provide. If his wife loses her job, it looks like they might lose their home, yet he wants to combine finances. This isn't wise if he's bad with money. Being born poor isn't your fault, but staying poor is. It also seems like his wife might come from a more stable background, as he emphasizes his own hardships.

    • @christie4336
      @christie4336 5 місяців тому +8

      @@AdultZenfulColoring " Being born poor isn't your fault, but staying poor is. That is GOLD.

    • @hiddenmonkeyofdoom
      @hiddenmonkeyofdoom 4 місяці тому

      You assume she does squat. In today's world of feminism, she does nothing. He's paying more than her in bills and taking care of children.

    • @scottgoodson5132
      @scottgoodson5132 3 місяці тому +4

      @@hiddenmonkeyofdoom How do you figure that when she pays the mortgage?

    • @katemiller7874
      @katemiller7874 3 дні тому

      Good thing she’s young. She’s got more stamina. Still not right

  • @melissawhiting3549
    @melissawhiting3549 5 місяців тому +188

    They didn't talk about the Dad situation!!! They needed Delony on this call.

    • @strangeroamer3219
      @strangeroamer3219 5 місяців тому +12

      Why? So he can ask the same questions he always does? Are you safe? Did your heart stop? Do you have a support group? Oh I forgot, McDonald's is paying 20 dollars an hour.

    • @jesslynn222
      @jesslynn222 5 місяців тому +11

      @@strangeroamer3219Lmao i love delony but that’s so funny and true

    • @ryanlemmers5300
      @ryanlemmers5300 5 місяців тому +3

      “I can’t breathe.” 😂

    • @mikimuzika
      @mikimuzika 5 місяців тому +6

      Bolony would ask, "is your father safe"? "Is he suffering from trauma?"

    • @jesslynn222
      @jesslynn222 5 місяців тому +4

      @@mikimuzika but you have to think about it, that’s his job!! he’s supposed to investigate the minds behind the phone line. all the ramsey personality’s do have their purpose on the show.

  • @zulikkowalski3547
    @zulikkowalski3547 5 місяців тому +326

    My mortgage is WAY more than the rest of the bills. This guy is spending money like a drunken sailor and he wants his child bride to foot the bill for him and his father. She should run

    • @limbeboy7
      @limbeboy7 5 місяців тому +1

      ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? HIS WIFE IS USING MONEY THAT SHOULD BE USED ON THIER FAMILY TO BE USED ON HER FATHER

    • @kellimoore6355
      @kellimoore6355 5 місяців тому +56

      @@limbeboy7 It's the husband's father that's broke.

    • @TheDjcarter1966
      @TheDjcarter1966 5 місяців тому +4

      Almost everyone spends more on their bills than their mortgage is you mortgage really half your check...you are house poor. Plus I'm guessing family is taking care of twins because all her paycheck will cover is childcare.

    • @johndone8045
      @johndone8045 5 місяців тому +23

      ​@@TheDjcarter1966most stupid comment so far
      Mortgage in LA will for sure higher than monthly bils

    • @amaragrace94
      @amaragrace94 5 місяців тому +6

      ​@@johndone8045 Yeah I am from LA and they really don't get it. 3-4 bedroom houses on my street with little outdoor space going for $900k to $1million. Can you imagine what the mortgage is lol. If you go further inland to the I.E. you can find something in the $650k-775k range with more space between houses and backyard space. She's got to be making at least $100k and mortgage is likely in the $3k-4k range or more depending on where they are in LA county.

  • @michaelh2282
    @michaelh2282 5 місяців тому +308

    This guy is an absolute joke of a man. Marries a teenager a decade younger than him, uses her to pay the bulk of the household in Los Angeles, and then expects her to provide for his broke father because neither the caller nor his father have any financial sense. She understandably doesn't respect him enough to share the finances.
    And Dave is wrong. Having him tell her how "scared" he is will only make her lose even more respect for him. He needs to "man up" and prove to her he can provide and be responsible before asking her to combine finances. And I feel awful for her. She didn't deserve to be tied down at 19 to this loser.

    • @og6433
      @og6433 5 місяців тому +35

      You pretty much summed it up. I'm not with Dave and Rachel on this one.

    • @keith-kb1zl
      @keith-kb1zl 5 місяців тому +25

      totally agree, this guy took advantage of a young girl, just the fact that she’s more financially responsible than this joker, when in 9 out of 10 cases it would be the other way around, he obviously 🙄 has followed the footsteps of his father when it comes to financial responsibility, this loser is just trying to manipulate this poor girl into supporting two losers instead of one.. she needs to bail, and start a new life Dave is an absolute dolt for sympathizing with this guy.🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

    • @Kim-bv3xn
      @Kim-bv3xn 5 місяців тому +2

      She’s smart and carries the most weight

    • @KyloB
      @KyloB 5 місяців тому +7

      I do wonder if the comment would read differently if the gender roles were reversed

    • @trufflehound1960
      @trufflehound1960 5 місяців тому +4

      ​@@KyloBnot really, if either partner expects the other to carry the whole loads and then add twins into the mix, shame on them. You both made the marriage pick up your share and get in with it.

  • @susannapichula9947
    @susannapichula9947 5 місяців тому +90

    Dave and Rachel missed the fact when he said he would have to take care of his Dad financially when his dad no longer can financially take care of himself. I don't think this guy is being completely honest with Dave and Rachel.

    • @jimmymcgill6778
      @jimmymcgill6778 5 місяців тому

      They're SIMPS.

    • @champagne4bfast
      @champagne4bfast 5 місяців тому +6

      I think he has a screw loose

    • @eileeneclark9011
      @eileeneclark9011 5 місяців тому

      What is wrong with guy's dad that he CAN'T work + pay his own bills + prep/save for his own retirement?
      WHERE is dad's WIFE/this guy's mom???

    • @rusticgardenretreat4892
      @rusticgardenretreat4892 5 місяців тому +6

      Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. He is like his father. He married a purse and is looking for that purse to also be a nurse to his failing father. I get this feeling this guy isn't much of a dad either. He sounds like a control freak== he wants it all on his terms. Keep the finances separate. There was a moment when she took on the house payment that was the time to work things out. I have to wonder if the house was on her credit, in her name. How did they qualify for the house? My house was balanced on my income, not my ex husbands because he would not take on a full time job. I hung in until the kids were grown, but checked out on my 30th anniversary. His major complaint in the divorce mediation was that he was losing his safety net. This guy wants to put his feet up. I wonder what her folks think of him.

    • @dannysrigid
      @dannysrigid 4 місяці тому

      @@rusticgardenretreat4892 You make a lot of assumptions. It seems this dude is trying to NOT make the same mistakes his father did, by building wealth via Dave's plan instead of working paycheck to paycheck. He's not kicking back and resting on his wife's paycheck, he's taking on MORE work in order to stack cash for their future (including the ability to cover either of their parents in old age) TOGETHER.
      "For richer or poorer, in sickness or in health..." does not say "but I'm keeping a separate bank account just in case it doesn't work out". Those that refuse to combine finances with their spouse usually have plans on leaving, or at least keeping that option open, just in case. There really is no other reason.

  • @JustinCase780
    @JustinCase780 5 місяців тому +343

    *She's 24 and her paycheck covers their entire mortgage in L.A.
    *He wants to combine their money to plan for "my family" including taking care of his broke father when he retires.
    *Not happening.

    • @RetirementbyDesign26
      @RetirementbyDesign26 5 місяців тому +27

      I agree, his “why” benefits him more than it does them

    • @mtbokor1969
      @mtbokor1969 5 місяців тому +12

      Did I miss something in the video? I didn’t hear him say he wanted to combine his income so that he can take care of hisbroke father. But even if he did, it’s the same fundamental issue. She isn’t willing to fully commit to the marriage. And combining incomes is just that.

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 5 місяців тому +25

      @@mtbokor1969yes you definitely missed something. Read between the lines a bit - she probably doesn’t want to combine paycheck because that means more of it is going to go to support his dad instead of their twins

    • @whosaidthat9265
      @whosaidthat9265 5 місяців тому +8

      @@mtbokor1969you didn’t miss anything. People making excuses for her which is standard in these comments. Had the convo been flipped and he didn’t want to combine with her, no excuses would exist and he would just be a bad person.

    • @lukerider479
      @lukerider479 5 місяців тому +3

      Or maybe the mortgage is reasonable and he is paying a lot more. She like the extra money she has every month and he has the joy of covering all the bills and having no money

  • @atenas80525
    @atenas80525 5 місяців тому +55

    "contract IT work" i.e. VARIABLE income, wife is scared of his variable income, SHE is going to protect the herself and the family

  • @fg6418
    @fg6418 5 місяців тому +39

    The mortgage alone is usually more than the rest of the bills

  • @bleedinghoney28
    @bleedinghoney28 5 місяців тому +7

    A 30 year old marrying a 20 year old?! She literally just graduated high school of course she’s going about her finances the way she is. She’s a 24 YEAR OLD MOTHER OF TWO. She has not had a single second to enjoy her life outside of school. These two are so patient and respectful to not scold a grown man for grooming a young adult.

  • @Tashas_Travels
    @Tashas_Travels 5 місяців тому +151

    I don't blame her. There's no way I'd want my money to be used to look after someone who failed to plan for their own retirement.
    My money is for my family (husband and kids only) not extended relatives.

    • @bradycone
      @bradycone 5 місяців тому +4

      If and when they decided to help elderly parents is a decision to make together with their combined money. He didn't indicate that he had ever given his dad anything. He said he was afraid that someday they might need to help.
      He's trying to do better than his parents did, and build a secure life for his family, and the wife doesn't want to. That's it.

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 5 місяців тому +11

      0:25 that is exactly what this guy said! And both Dave and Rachel ignored this. After my mother passed, my husband and I (with two babies) bought his house. That was 6 years ago - he’s now 72, has a place to live, eats with family every day, has company, etc... but he lives off of his retirement, which he planned and executed starting when he was 19 years old. No way would I ever financially support a parent. My finances are meant to support and build MY family and MY children. Her husband has just decided that he’ll be his daddy’s cash-cow, and now suddenly wants his wife’s income to help him reach that goal. THAT is his “why”.

    • @francismarion6400
      @francismarion6400 5 місяців тому +1

      The man IS supposed to cover all the bills. Her money is her money.

    • @ryand7713
      @ryand7713 5 місяців тому +2

      @@francismarion6400 WRONG

    • @bugermcking4968
      @bugermcking4968 5 місяців тому +3

      Parents aren't extended family.
      Calling parents extended family is like calling your adult children extended family.
      If anything you owe your parents more than your adult children because they gave and didn't take, while adult children did the opposite.
      I'd rank priority of obligation
      1) spouse and under 18 children.
      2) elderly parent
      3) young adult child
      4) adult child over 25 and elderly extended relatives and siblings
      5) everybody else.

  • @privacyplease1556
    @privacyplease1556 5 місяців тому +46

    She makes more money than him but she should combine finances so pay for his debts and his dad? She should leave. This is going to be a terrible situation for her

    • @marcushoward6560
      @marcushoward6560 5 місяців тому +1

      If only more men would follow that same advice when they often find themselves in that same situation.

  • @pscih7149
    @pscih7149 4 місяці тому +18

    The facial reaction at 1:40 when he said she was 23 is hilarious. Also, the way he said he’s 34 sounds like he’s lying. He’s probably 40.

  • @adamseidel9780
    @adamseidel9780 5 місяців тому +61

    You don’t have to plan to do SHIT for your dad, and he doesn’t GET to stop working if he has no money. That’s HIS mistake.

    • @bugermcking4968
      @bugermcking4968 5 місяців тому +2

      He's his dad, you owe your parents something.
      Maybe he should only help if one of the conditions is he keep working in some capacity or something.
      But you can't just let the guy be homeless.

    • @user-kpkxgtj
      @user-kpkxgtj 5 місяців тому +4

      ​@@bugermcking4968 he can choose not to leave his parent homeless, but he shouldn't rope in someone else to carry that load. His wife has every right to opt out of that responsibility.

    • @bugermcking4968
      @bugermcking4968 5 місяців тому +3

      @@user-kpkxgtj No she doesn't. Your wife or husband isn't just a somebody else. It's a partnership and you share familial responsibilities. You have to make the decision together, what your family is responsible for and what they aren't and do it. That's marriage, it sucks but you have to be aware when you marry someone, they come with family that is gonna either be a good or bad thing and that needs to factor into your decision to marry them or not.

    • @user-kpkxgtj
      @user-kpkxgtj 5 місяців тому +3

      @@bugermcking4968 nope. The only responsibility they share is to their family, ie the children they created. Everyone else is not a factor, and providing for them is not a responsibility, but an option should they choose to be generous, and be in the position to afford it.

    • @bugermcking4968
      @bugermcking4968 5 місяців тому +2

      @@user-kpkxgtj It's not generosity to repay a debt. If his dad was a deadbeat dad who didn't help him at all I would agree it's just generosity but if he was a good dad you owe him some help. And if he owes him then she owes him because that's how a marriage works. It's a 50/50 split of obligation and responsibility and rewards.

  • @tonytoni1150
    @tonytoni1150 5 місяців тому +25

    I don’t like this caller. Sounds like he preys on the young because the women his age know he ain’t worth a fart in the wind. She messed up by having kids with this bozo. Oh well 🤷🏻‍♂️

    • @sglacf
      @sglacf 5 місяців тому +6

      And his laugh at 6:11 reminds me how all the bums laugh

  • @DaishaView
    @DaishaView 5 місяців тому +60

    Wife, if you are reading this, DON'T DO IT! ❗

  • @lindawilson4625
    @lindawilson4625 5 місяців тому +41

    I suspect Dave & Rachel missed that opening "Take care of my dad" comment because I know they usually feel about this and it wasn't mentioned again nor addressed in this call.

    • @schuylergeery-zink1923
      @schuylergeery-zink1923 5 місяців тому +4

      1) take care of each other & your kids first
      2) then can worry about parents together
      I would be freaked to share finances with someone who didn’t have the priorities straight either.

    • @Vero.does.better
      @Vero.does.better 5 місяців тому +5

      They chose what to ignore. They have a narrative to protect

  • @zahraaalz9621
    @zahraaalz9621 5 місяців тому +54

    Sorry but i'm not responsible for supporting my future in-laws retirement nor will i support my parents or expect my future husband to support mine. I"'ll get divorced before i do that. This was a terrible episode. They missed the big red flag. His problem is his dad, not hers.

    • @champagne4bfast
      @champagne4bfast 5 місяців тому +3

      Exactly. Supporting other people comes AFTER you've set yourself up for success.

    • @SamOwenI
      @SamOwenI 5 місяців тому +2

      Though it's correct that the caller's dad is a concern, they did recognise that the biggest problem here is likely to be the marriage, not the finances. Not combining incomes is only a symptom of the marriage problem. Ideally, they would discuss and agree about financial goals and priorities, as part of a healthy marriage. So they need to agree about what to do with the caller's dad, their children etc. Not agreeing likely will lead to divorce.
      Point being, the hosts of the show were correct in focusing on encouraging the caller to discuss with his wife his "whys" - ie what should our priorities be? What should we be scared about?

    • @champagne4bfast
      @champagne4bfast 5 місяців тому +5

      @@SamOwenI the greatest disappointment was that they didn’t ask the questions that they ask most people: how much do you both make and how much is your mortgage. Those 3 answers could have told us everything we needed to understand about the scenario. If 50% of her take-home goes on the mortgage and 80% of his goes on utilities, I could understand how they can’t afford his shenanigans. She has a set of twins and he wants to support his dad. He barely mentioned the babies.

    • @XFizzlepop-Berrytwist
      @XFizzlepop-Berrytwist 5 місяців тому +1

      Family dynamics matter.
      I live with my grandparents, and we help take care my great grandmother. XD
      Sometimes its necessary to help care for an in law or family, if its where you can, and they are nice, and arent just taking advantage.

    • @NicholleWillisLoves
      @NicholleWillisLoves Місяць тому +1

      By the caller's accent, he's probably Asian; keep in mind it's often expected to take care of your parents in some cultures. If his father is the 1st generation immigrant, his father might not have known or been able to save for retirement until more recently to begin with.

  • @lindacornell7881
    @lindacornell7881 5 місяців тому +434

    No one addresses the elephant in the room. All I am hearing is. I am going to take your money to support my dad.

    • @davidhealdjr.513
      @davidhealdjr.513 5 місяців тому +77

      You get married and it's no longer yours and mine, it's ours. Our money, our dad. Your mindset leads to divorce.

    • @Dad-979
      @Dad-979 5 місяців тому +35

      I think the elephant in the room is an elephant in your head. I didn’t hear that whatsoever. I heard a spoiled, young, immature brat wife.

    • @richard77231
      @richard77231 5 місяців тому +14

      ​@@davidhealdjr.513That attitude means they don't actually have to agree on major financial decisions.

    • @sp-cn8pm
      @sp-cn8pm 5 місяців тому +40

      Agreed, and the more time goes by, she may realize how this guy tried to take advantage of her for her age. Idk, I could be wrong and they're truly inlove but I think the age difference and asking that when they have children (meaning she's locked in) has the alarm going off on my head. People change the moment they think they have something to hold over you.

    • @insideoutsideupsidedown2218
      @insideoutsideupsidedown2218 5 місяців тому +1

      ​@@richard77231quite the opposite. They need to work together in their financial decisions.

  • @dfya3294
    @dfya3294 5 місяців тому +52

    How are you 30+ yrs old and expecting an early 20 something yr old to combine money? Then you got the 20 something yr old to pay the mortgage. The 30 y/o had more time as an adult to get his finances together as the 20 y/o is still fresh into the workforce but she's covering the mortgage, the kids, & she probably has to play a role of caretaker to the dad in law. This is a prime example of why younger girls are not interested & shouldn't be interested in older guys these days because some of them don't have their stuff in order. He's baggage to the 20 yr old.

    • @leeriley7789
      @leeriley7789 5 місяців тому

      Well, when you marry, you become one, and should have the finances combined

    • @dfya3294
      @dfya3294 5 місяців тому +16

      @@leeriley7789 As a (30 y/o) man, you're really going to rely on a 20 y/o instead of going out there to grind? And some of ppl wonder why women do not want to deal w/ some of these men. If she can do all of that why does she need him. Then he's adding the father in law in the mix. The FIL & the 30 y/o had more time as a working adult than the 20 y/o to get their life straight.
      And combine what...? She's paying the biggest bill & doing everything else 🙄. He needs to make more money by getting a full-time job instead of working part-time.

    • @leeriley7789
      @leeriley7789 5 місяців тому

      @@dfya3294 I said if you're married, you are supposed to be one and not have yours or mine. Never said she was supposed to take care of him

    • @keith-kb1zl
      @keith-kb1zl 5 місяців тому +14

      @@leeriley7789you’re missing the point amigo. yes, if you’re married, in most cases you should be morally obligated to combine finances, but in certain circumstances if your spouse has shown time and again they’re a financial train wreck, and let’s not forget she is smart enough to see the apple usually doesn’t fall far from the tree, if the father never learned to manage money, the son could be going down the same path.. she has every reason to keep her money separate from his..

    • @suraangel6956
      @suraangel6956 5 місяців тому +1

      that's exactly how I feel. younger girls need to watch out

  • @daniella8400
    @daniella8400 5 місяців тому +176

    The age difference is one issue and his laziness is another !!! This marriage won’t last

    • @MalibuandMilk
      @MalibuandMilk 5 місяців тому +5

      I really hope it doesn’t because this man is an absolute joke.

    •  5 місяців тому +5

      The age difference doesn't matter. His immaturity does.

    • @daniella8400
      @daniella8400 5 місяців тому +11

      It absolutely is an issue she was a teenager when they started dating

    • @janebaker4912
      @janebaker4912 5 місяців тому +13

      He was in his thirties dating a teenager. It matters.

    • @user-kpkxgtj
      @user-kpkxgtj 5 місяців тому +5

      It matters when one person was a minor yesterday and the other has been an adult for at least a decade. If they were 30 and 40, or 50 and 60, yeah, it wouldn't matter.

  • @bbab9489
    @bbab9489 5 місяців тому +6

    I have ALWAYS believed in separate finances and no one will ever convince me to combine. There is no way that I have been careful about my money, to then be footing the bill for my husband and his dads lack of planning.
    If I were this lady, it would be time to split bills and mortgage down the middle, just to prove a point that the mortgage repayments cost more.
    If she doesn't want to combine and she is paying the mortgage, that speaks volumes!

  • @mistiinseattle
    @mistiinseattle 5 місяців тому +67

    They are actually defending this guy and running down his wife because she won't give him all her money to give to his parents. She has 7 month old twins so can't even run far far away. she cares more for her kids than a golden rocking chair

    • @neutralcommenter7800
      @neutralcommenter7800 5 місяців тому +2

      That's because it's not "her" money. It's their money. They are married. If she wanted to keep "her" money then she should not have gotten married. Let me guess, you are a professional career woman, single, in your 40's, with 2 cats.

    • @mdwilliams79
      @mdwilliams79 4 місяці тому

      you're why I tell men to stay away from modern women and stay single. Shame on you.

    • @serenevans7632
      @serenevans7632 4 місяці тому +6

      @@neutralcommenter7800are you the husband that’s calling in😂😂

  • @benjamineprg4249
    @benjamineprg4249 5 місяців тому +240

    Lol i dont blame her, its not a decision that should be made without long thought and proper legal fiduciary advice

    • @benjamineprg4249
      @benjamineprg4249 5 місяців тому

      Investors should exercise caution with their exposure and exercise caution when considering new investments, particularly during periods of inflation. It is advisable to seek guidance from a professional in order to navigate this recession and achieve potential high yields and taxation

    • @soothingrelaxationandmedit68
      @soothingrelaxationandmedit68 5 місяців тому

      Honestly this cannot be overemphasized, helping people mitigate unforseen circumstances and mistakes .It's always good to have a financial plan,

    • @soothingrelaxationandmedit68
      @soothingrelaxationandmedit68 5 місяців тому

      the strategies for diversification into other commodities are quite rigorous for the regular-Joe. As a matter of fact, they are mostly successfully carried out by pros who have had a great deal of skills and knowledge, with that in hand she can make her decision comfortably.

    • @Sanchyfab
      @Sanchyfab 5 місяців тому

      yeah that's a good path, focus on a good strategy, relax back and watch it compound within the years. In good time you'll see returns.

    • @Sanchyfab
      @Sanchyfab 5 місяців тому

      It's crucial for individuals to diversify their portfolios, seek professional financial advice, and stay informed about market trends to navigate these challenges effectively.

  • @Neddie2k
    @Neddie2k 5 місяців тому +84

    How I dealt with this was, I contribute my portion of the bills, then paid of my debt in 18 months, returned to my wife told her I was debt free, asked her if she wants to combine money to pay off her debt, she said yes, few months later we were both debt free. We now live on a single budget, money combined.
    Sometimes people need to see it to believe it, am a maths guy.

    • @starrababy31
      @starrababy31 5 місяців тому +13

      Exactly! You showed her with your actions instead of just talking about it! Bravo 👏🏾 am a math girl also 😁

    • @jerzsubbie
      @jerzsubbie 5 місяців тому +3

      That's what I was thinking, if she doesn't want to do it, he can start the journey by himself and take care of his debt. Hopefully their current split of her paying the mortgage and him paying everything else doesn't mean he has no disposable income and she does.

    • @manoftomorrow5987
      @manoftomorrow5987 5 місяців тому +5

      In life nobody will follow u if you haven’t shown you can lead. I praise you for showing her you had a plan that actually worked.

    • @jonpowers7070
      @jonpowers7070 5 місяців тому +2

      I don't know. I don't think people should get married until they trust each other enough to combine finances. It doesn't make sense to share a life with someone but not have combined finances.

    • @Timmo93
      @Timmo93 5 місяців тому

      Pay off debt BEFORE getting married!

  • @atenas80525
    @atenas80525 5 місяців тому +22

    Ramsey's being TRIANGULATED AGAIN - wife has a SAFETY issue, she's married to a little boy, who is hanging TVs at 34, no real plan, no real future, variable income - wife is SCARED and has 7 month twins
    DROPPED THE BALL, RAMSEY

    • @rusticgardenretreat4892
      @rusticgardenretreat4892 5 місяців тому +3

      Yep! She is not willing to give up a security blanket for this guy. Keep it separate. Any good divorce lawyer will tell you that separate is easier to untangle. This guy sounds like poison ivy.

  • @nanjones3973
    @nanjones3973 3 місяці тому +4

    I knew there had to be a reason she didn't want to combine finances, and I knew she made more money or manages her money better than him before he got into more details. She's paying the mortgage and other bills while he pays what he can... his response to Dave was "I'm supposed to pay" which means he's not keeping up his end of the bargain on the other bills. He wants her to raise the twins and financially support his father. So exhausting... he needs to get it together and if not, hopefully she comes to her senses and leaves.

    • @janise01
      @janise01 2 місяці тому

      Where'd he say he was supporting his father? I must've missed that.

  • @Slingsomelead
    @Slingsomelead 5 місяців тому +41

    This is a weeeeird call

  • @SuzanneQuew-vc4us
    @SuzanneQuew-vc4us 5 місяців тому +119

    “My 23-year old, pregnant with twins wife “ONLY” makes our ENTIRE mortgage payment by herself”…said no man over 50-years old, ever. That’s the trouble with America today…

    • @davidbrayshaw3529
      @davidbrayshaw3529 5 місяців тому

      This is what equal opportunity looks like when everything is actually equal, like it used to be, but with the shoe on the other foot. Yeah, it's wrong, but he's been trained well.

    • @NickPlays95
      @NickPlays95 5 місяців тому +4

      Why are you saying entire like it’s a lot? My wife and I make 160k a year combined. We do have all combined finances, but she makes 80k I make 80k. Our mortgage is 8% of our monthly income so if we did separate it, it’s still less than 1 weeks pay. Quit having a broke mindset

    • @littleripper312
      @littleripper312 5 місяців тому

      @@davidbrayshaw3529 This is not what equal opportunity looks like. Women do not have equal opportunity when applying for jobs or when it comes to income. The misogyny in the workplace to this day is still really bad. The only reason you'll disagree with that is because you're a man and don't experience it so to you it doesn't exist. I was literally told to my face at my last job I wouldn't be promoted because I was a female and men make better managers. So much for equal opportunity. I applied somewhere else and got the job but don't play the BS that there's equal opportunity.

    • @pentrubarbati
      @pentrubarbati 5 місяців тому

      this happenes when feminism is let loose and anyway women wanted to be equal yime they do more man did it for hundreds of years

    • @Calibrownsfan
      @Calibrownsfan 5 місяців тому +4

      @@NickPlays95 where do you live where your mortgage is 8% of your income? most people it's close to 50% today

  • @BREEZYM6015
    @BREEZYM6015 5 місяців тому +59

    I'm never combining finances again. In fact, I'm never getting married again. 😂

    • @greggpurviance7252
      @greggpurviance7252 5 місяців тому +1

      Good for you

    • @user-kpkxgtj
      @user-kpkxgtj 5 місяців тому +3

      I know my life and finances would be looking very different right now if I had done that, and not in a good way... Combining finances makes it so much easier to achieve certain goals, but the disadvantages outweigh that one advantage. It's wild to me how many people insist that that has to happen for a marriage to be considered solid.

    • @greggpurviance7252
      @greggpurviance7252 5 місяців тому

      @@user-kpkxgtj it can be solid if there is good communication. If not, very difficult. Combining 'forces' the communication & cooperation

    • @catherinewilke5583
      @catherinewilke5583 5 місяців тому +1

      Saaaaaammmmeee. Divorce cost me a fortune, ex is a deadbeat. Never again.

    • @chazzkramer7676
      @chazzkramer7676 5 місяців тому +1

      Never say never!

  • @random-nz7dy
    @random-nz7dy 5 місяців тому +24

    So she's the breadwinner already now he's wanting her to give up more money to fund his dad's retirement?
    I feel for this poor girl. What a mistake she made
    This guys a weirdo. Notice how he changed the age she was when they got married. She was probably 18 if not potentially 17 when they started dating and he would have been in his late twenties. Freaking creepy.

  • @caroltn793
    @caroltn793 5 місяців тому +36

    A California mortgage prob is more than the rest of the bills

    • @yia01
      @yia01 2 місяці тому

      not true. this only depend on when the mortgage ws taking out. i live in Cali, my monthly mortgage is only $800 a month for a 5 bedroom 3 bath house. so if the mortage was teh dad mortgage and they just took over it, its probably only a few hundred now. my sisbling car parment is more then my mortgage. not enough info to really said anything. but TBH if u gonna marry and not share financial hardship, dotn get marry in teh 1st place. marraige wont last/
      every marriage i know that dotn combine thier $$$$ dotn last.

  • @robynmurray7421
    @robynmurray7421 3 місяці тому +3

    Any woman, in any circumstances, needs to have her own bank account to allow her to maintain her independence, make her own choices about her life, and ensure her future. Too many women are trapped in bad relationships because they don't have money to leave, or are on poverty in later life because of their partner's poor financial choices.

  • @drn13355
    @drn13355 5 місяців тому +62

    She is 23 and paying the majority of the bills. I can see why she is not wanting much to do with this guy. The odds this marriage lasts more than another 2 years is about 3%.

    • @Courtney19751
      @Courtney19751 5 місяців тому +2

      It was stated she only pays the mortgage. He pays for everything else.

    • @JustinCase780
      @JustinCase780 5 місяців тому +19

      @@Courtney19751 In L.A. that is pretty much everything. 😅

    • @amaragrace94
      @amaragrace94 5 місяців тому +3

      ​@@Courtney19751 depends on where in LA but depending on how much she makes, it could be anywhere from $2.5k-$5k/month. That's if the mortgage is based on her income alone. She's got to be making at least $100k.

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 5 місяців тому +8

      Don’t forget, at 0:25 this guy gives Dave and Rachel his real “why”.
      His wife doesn’t want to cash-cow for his father, who failed to prepare for his own retirement. She has infant twins... good for her.

    • @lacrymosa777
      @lacrymosa777 5 місяців тому

      ​@@Courtney19751yeah but for almost everyone a mortage/rent is the majority of your monthly bills

  • @coderider3022
    @coderider3022 5 місяців тому +45

    Imagine that’s your daughter….

    • @vanessac1721
      @vanessac1721 5 місяців тому +6

      Oh Dave would be singing a very different tune.

  • @laundrygoddess4
    @laundrygoddess4 5 місяців тому +50

    Maybe she has a valid reason for not trusting him with family finances. There are people that are better off separate so there is some hope for when an emergency

    • @insideoutsideupsidedown2218
      @insideoutsideupsidedown2218 5 місяців тому +8

      If she did not trust him, she should not have married him.

    • @retrojay86
      @retrojay86 5 місяців тому

      Bingo​@@insideoutsideupsidedown2218

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 5 місяців тому +6

      Like him suddenly realizing that he wants to financially support his father “when he decides to stop working” 0:25

    • @laundrygoddess4
      @laundrygoddess4 5 місяців тому +7

      @@insideoutsideupsidedown2218 she was very young when they married. Life experience is earned through time. Judgy much?

    • @privacyplease1556
      @privacyplease1556 5 місяців тому

      @@insideoutsideupsidedown2218It’s almost like many middle aged men are old and predatory and like marrying young girls for that very reason

  • @theMatrix440
    @theMatrix440 Місяць тому +2

    Let's have more Rachel alone please. Congrats to Dave, your daughter is awesome!

  • @keishamckenzie649
    @keishamckenzie649 3 місяці тому +4

    Did I hear him right....she pays the Mortgage!..... they probably didn't hear that because its a reason why she dont want to put their monies together....he probably don't manage his funds well and if she is maintaining the mortgage with twin babies, she is wise. He not telling the entire story.

  • @Dansull123
    @Dansull123 3 місяці тому +4

    "won't allow us to combine finances" yeah she isn't ALLOWING her finances to combine with his. She's not trying to control HIM shes trying to maintain control of HERSELF.

  • @maximusdecimusmeridius5438
    @maximusdecimusmeridius5438 5 місяців тому +141

    The marriage won’t last

    • @blackworldtraveler3711
      @blackworldtraveler3711 5 місяців тому +5

      Not many do.
      There are even divorces over 60.

    • @BlueDauntless
      @BlueDauntless 5 місяців тому +9

      @@blackworldtraveler3711The numbers are skewed. First time marriages have a pretty high success rate. Second, third, fourth marriages have a high failure rate. When it’s mixed together, the average is half.

    • @cynthiawaldorf9353
      @cynthiawaldorf9353 5 місяців тому +2

      Such positivity. Alot of marraiges last. Alot don't. But just because someone calls in with a issue doesn't mean there's NO hope at all.. geez!

    • @HOLDXSTEEL
      @HOLDXSTEEL 5 місяців тому +7

      @@cynthiawaldorf9353Thry will divorce by next year. Love isn’t real

    • @blackworldtraveler3711
      @blackworldtraveler3711 5 місяців тому +6

      @@cynthiawaldorf9353
      The divorce rate of unmarried men is exactly 0%.

  • @chessmaster1115
    @chessmaster1115 6 днів тому +4

    Next caller, Hey Dave i am million dollars in debt and my wife has a million dollars and she wont allow us to combine our finances. Can you fix this for me? Yea good luck with that!

  • @JoeyNYSDnomad
    @JoeyNYSDnomad 5 місяців тому +35

    Getting out of debt with twins, wants a new car and taking care of your Dad? I wouldn't sign on to taking care of your dead beat Dad either. You need to plan the finances before all of these things happen. Signed Elmur Fudd!

    • @USMC6976
      @USMC6976 5 місяців тому +1

      You're making a lot of assumptions there about his dad, all based on what HE is telling you. You don't know anything about the dad. Dad may be living a very frugal lifestyle and he's totally clueless about what dad's situation is.

    • @RepentImmediately
      @RepentImmediately 5 місяців тому +5

      ​@@USMC6976he's the one who brought his dad into the conversation. It doesn't matter what the dad's situation is; it's not his wife's responsibility

    • @USMC6976
      @USMC6976 5 місяців тому +2

      @@RepentImmediately I never said it was his wife's responsibility. Again, stop making assumptions not based on any evidence. The OP called the dad a deadbeat. The OP has no clue about the dad. Just as you have no clue about what I said.

  • @dannymartial7997
    @dannymartial7997 3 місяці тому +3

    The father isn't part of the marriage. There's no way both of their incomes should be combined to fund this old guy's retirement.

  • @maylynbayani
    @maylynbayani 5 місяців тому +3

    My husband supports his parents. He initially earned less than me but I encouraged him to further his career. He now earns more and able to support his parents and our family. He needs to work harder.

  • @TheCecilia1122
    @TheCecilia1122 5 місяців тому +6

    Firstly,she is protecting her home ownership by being sole mortgage payment.... my question is, whose name is the house in and was the deposit jointly paid for

  • @cindymorris564
    @cindymorris564 5 місяців тому +5

    He’s asking her to support his father. Why was that just skipped over like it wasnt an issue?

  • @brennik05
    @brennik05 2 місяці тому +3

    I’m pretty sure what she heard that Dave and Rachel both apparently didn’t was “my father has no retirement and I need a plan to take care of him when he quits works.” She has children to take care of. His father’s bad planning is not her problem. Honestly I agree with her.

    • @ronica2623
      @ronica2623 Місяць тому

      But really, don’t you think this should have been worked out before marriage?

    • @brennik05
      @brennik05 Місяць тому

      @@ronica2623 absolutely

  • @lelebella3252
    @lelebella3252 5 місяців тому +10

    Paying all the other bills doesn’t even come close to my mortgage lol I’d rather have all the other bills

  • @brendahere
    @brendahere 5 місяців тому +11

    His father has at least 20 years to plan forhis retirement. She is paying the morgage! Your not telling us percentages and numbers. It could be 75%. She isnt feeling safe. She needs run money, because you dont want to give her access to any money. Your a controller

  • @hirambright9357
    @hirambright9357 5 місяців тому +6

    This is why people should not combine incomes. Individuals have their own needs, wants, dreams and aspirations. Those do not stop when you get married. They should have three accounts, his, hers, and theirs.

  • @DaishaView
    @DaishaView 5 місяців тому +7

    i'm with her 😅 its sounding like he needs a better job because all he's doing is paying utilities and he needs a second job for that? feels like we are missing some info here.

    • @katydid917
      @katydid917 5 місяців тому +1

      I think this dude is a douche for trying to make his wife pay for his father’s retirement, but he may also be paying for daycare, car payments, and/or insurance. That can add up to a pretty penny.

  • @gero4415
    @gero4415 5 місяців тому +118

    The sugar daddy doesn’t have much sugar

    • @Primitive_Code
      @Primitive_Code 5 місяців тому +23

      He's hypoglycemic.

    • @daniella8400
      @daniella8400 5 місяців тому +13

      Splenda daddy

    • @cyrenedomogalla5127
      @cyrenedomogalla5127 5 місяців тому +19

      He's not a sugar daddy, he's a mooch. He married a kid 10 years his junior and is leaning on her financially instead of demonstrating he's a partner. She at least had the presence of mind to keep him off her bank account so he can't bleed that dry. Red flags all over this situation

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 5 місяців тому +8

      More like he is expecting his wife to be a cash-cow for his father who failed to prepare for retirement.

    • @AbbygaileHearne
      @AbbygaileHearne 5 місяців тому

      @@cyrenedomogalla5127he probably found out she made a lot of money and thought of what he could do with it, this was premeditated

  • @JoelWende
    @JoelWende 2 місяці тому +2

    This is more of a call for John Delony than it is for Dave Ramsey. She’s 23, just had twins, is clearly still working and paying off a LA mortgage. She’s earning a shit ton which means she’s highly qualified in something.
    The dude on the other hand doesn’t seem to have any genuine drive or motivation. His solution to income disparity is ‘hanging tv’s’. 🤦‍♂️ He also back-stepped when they started asking about age. I bet she was younger and he’s a creep.
    She doesn’t need to combine finances, she needs to put a brick wall between the finances and start preparing for the eventual collapse of this marriage!

  • @SuzanneQuew-vc4us
    @SuzanneQuew-vc4us 5 місяців тому +31

    Omg…why would you try to take care of your father? Ridiculous. I’ve not taken a relationship further because I don’t want to support my partner’s parents or children…it’s a slippery slope.

    • @SuzanneQuew-vc4us
      @SuzanneQuew-vc4us 5 місяців тому +13

      @issak228 his father is a grown man, he takes care of himself. This young man’s resources are to provide for HIS CHILDREN, HIS WIFE. Parents who expect their children to take care of them, that’s completely unacceptable and unfair to his wife and children.

    • @HOLDXSTEEL
      @HOLDXSTEEL 5 місяців тому +1

      @@SuzanneQuew-vc4usdang did your parents suck or what?

    • @BlueDauntless
      @BlueDauntless 5 місяців тому +1

      @@SuzanneQuew-vc4usWhile I agree with this, I think there can also be room to help parents if necessary. But that’s if it’s not a detriment to the nuclear family. They come first. If you have enough after, I dont see that as a problem.

    • @SuzanneQuew-vc4us
      @SuzanneQuew-vc4us 5 місяців тому +6

      @@BlueDauntless granddaddy should be helping these young, struggling parents with young babies!

    • @BlueDauntless
      @BlueDauntless 5 місяців тому +1

      @@SuzanneQuew-vc4usAnd if he can’t? My parents never helped me financially when I had kids. They might offer to watch them.
      They’ve also never asked me for a penny. But if my nuclear family is cared for and on track and my parents needed help, there shouldn’t be a problem.
      Nuclear family first. If there’s leftover, I don’t think helping others out is a bad or negative thing.

  • @brandonedmonds4041
    @brandonedmonds4041 3 місяці тому +2

    Some women like older men,she chose him most likely because she loved him.Most women won't marry a guy they don't like

  • @niteshkumarniteshsharma5917
    @niteshkumarniteshsharma5917 5 місяців тому +318

    It's amazing what you do *DaleValskov* We need a lot of people with your skills and set who have good intentions and spread love

  • @rose_6400
    @rose_6400 5 місяців тому +19

    Once she hits mid-life she's going to run out the backdoor.

    • @MarcusKiner
      @MarcusKiner 5 місяців тому +1

      Out the back door, for someone to go in to her’s…. 😂

    • @user-kpkxgtj
      @user-kpkxgtj 5 місяців тому +7

      Hopefully it won't take that long, she must be exhausted already.

    • @LU-ro8qb
      @LU-ro8qb 5 місяців тому +1

      It won't take that long... she will be out of there in the next year or two. She's 23, and I'm sure she's starting to see the loser for who he is, that's why she doesn't want to combine finances. Just give it a couple more years, it's going to get worse.

  • @anaa03899
    @anaa03899 5 місяців тому +88

    She was 19😂😂😂😂

    • @_CPerk
      @_CPerk 5 місяців тому +39

      He tried to clean It up and said 20 😂

    • @MyAirMyles
      @MyAirMyles 5 місяців тому +3

      Good for him

    • @daniella8400
      @daniella8400 5 місяців тому +19

      @@MyAirMylesyeah and good for her once the divorce is final

    • @RepentImmediately
      @RepentImmediately 5 місяців тому +23

      ​@@MyAirMylesyeah...a grown man who can't afford to provide for his family but wants to provide for his father.... he's gonna be paying child support soon.

    • @JoshuaaColin
      @JoshuaaColin 5 місяців тому +1

      @@RepentImmediatelybahahahah.

  • @RPisa2416
    @RPisa2416 5 місяців тому +17

    I 👏🏼 wish 👏🏼 Dave 👏🏼 would 👏🏼 stop 👏🏼 interrupting 👏🏼

  • @karenmassey8354
    @karenmassey8354 5 місяців тому +39

    She’s not going to combine finances. That’s one of the prices you pay marrying with a big age gap like that. It’s a fair trade.

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 5 місяців тому +8

      We have to understand each if their “why’s”.
      His “why” for wanting to combine incomes: 0:25 to financially support his father when he chooses to stop working.
      Her “why” for not wanting to combine incomes: see his “why”.

    • @jgotem8779
      @jgotem8779 5 місяців тому

      Age doesn’t matter when it comes to money. Greed is greed and younger women are just following older women’s guidance. Basically use men!

    • @dani4157
      @dani4157 5 місяців тому +2

      Why would age matter when it comes to combining finances?

    • @HelenaBasyouni
      @HelenaBasyouni 5 місяців тому

      How is she using him​@@jgotem8779

    • @user-kpkxgtj
      @user-kpkxgtj 5 місяців тому +1

      She better not. That arrangement wouldn't benefit her in any way.

  • @Johnyrocket70
    @Johnyrocket70 6 днів тому +2

    She needs to divorce this clown. The only debt he should have is a mortgage and he isn't even paying that.

  • @The_Food_Police
    @The_Food_Police 5 місяців тому +7

    Seems like he can't handle the money he already has. Why would they combine finances? He needs to become responsible first.

  • @blazerbeavs2333
    @blazerbeavs2333 5 місяців тому +1

    Glad this situation came up because I can relate! I got puppy dog excited and started the conversation with the 'what'. My wife was understandably confused and upset, but I recalibrated and explained it more calmy. She was much more receptive as a result, and we aligned on a plan. 20K of debt knocked out together and still goin!

  • @JhamEntertainment
    @JhamEntertainment 5 місяців тому +4

    Combining finances at 23 with a dude 10 yrs older is a bit wild to begin with. Huge risk. She’s smart for hesitating imo.

    • @Kim-bv3xn
      @Kim-bv3xn 5 місяців тому

      Extremely smart no way

  • @momof2momof2
    @momof2momof2 3 місяці тому +2

    I don't blame the wife. Do they have the twins in day care? That alone is expensive. The "supporting the Dad who hasn't planned for his own retirement" cannot be their problem.

  • @chany2847
    @chany2847 3 місяці тому +8

    She doesn’t want to combine finances bc she’s 23 and he’s much older. I sense she doesn’t feel comfortable with him. She’s a smart girl.

  • @freedomspromise8519
    @freedomspromise8519 3 місяці тому +1

    Been married 40+ years and our finances have never been combined.
    When one partner has proved over and over to not be responsible with money, the other partner has a duty to the family to make sure the bills are paid.
    If the spouse’s ego cannot handle financial facts, that spouse needs therapy.

  • @meomeomeomeow
    @meomeomeomeow Місяць тому +4

    The biggest mistake this girl made was to marry at 20, to this dude.

  • @trela47.
    @trela47. 5 місяців тому +1

    “Allow” does send a chill. Not because he needs to ask for permission for what she does with the money *she* earned, but because he has the galls to *complain* about it as if he’s throwing some sort of tantrum. Just because you are her spouse does not entitle you to control her decisions regarding the family’s finances. You can express to her your “why”, but she *can* say “no”. That’s the bitter (to the man) truth. You can be partners, but you don’t get to treat her like property -like you *own* her- telling her “do this, do that” with no regard to her will. That’s messed up.

  • @GAFB1122
    @GAFB1122 5 місяців тому +55

    He is a groomer. Sought out a little girl who just turned legal a year or so before while he is a decade older than her. He is a bad guy.
    Sad that some on here think this is ok.

    • @pitstarproductions7792
      @pitstarproductions7792 5 місяців тому +5

      They’re probably engaging in the same behavior

    • @BJD-d6t
      @BJD-d6t 5 місяців тому +8

      And he locked in the deal with getting her pregnant.

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 5 місяців тому

      0:25 His “why” is that he wants to cash-cow his wife to financially support his loser dad “when he decides to stop working”. I’d be real curious to know this guy’s heritage. Either way - he, like his father before him, are parasites. I’m a traditional wife and mother - but if I were this woman, I’d be seeking a divorce attorney.

    • @jimmymcgill6778
      @jimmymcgill6778 5 місяців тому

      Sounds like it.

    • @dani4157
      @dani4157 5 місяців тому +2

      Jumping to conclusion with little to go off. Typical youtube comment section

  • @wilbergomez197
    @wilbergomez197 5 місяців тому +2

    The wife can absolutely call the shots! She has to hold the household down, a job, twins, and now a deadbeat husband! Dave and company need to respect the wife, the husband is a complete joke.

  • @SuzanneQuew-vc4us
    @SuzanneQuew-vc4us 5 місяців тому +4

    She “won’t allow” him to have the money, for a reason…

  • @Ash-a-ley
    @Ash-a-ley 5 місяців тому

    You entered with the what and not the why" - solid advice for starting any conversation.
    Also the "my spouse won't allow" - this is the punchline of all the best old married jokes.
    "Say the why and the how" - also solid. Loving the advice yall.
    Good luck to this couple. Yall will work this out. I wish I had this Ramsey show when I was 34 or 24. 😅

  • @mrsimon9227
    @mrsimon9227 5 місяців тому +43

    She hasn’t even experienced life yet..you basically married a teen

    • @Neoquaker1
      @Neoquaker1 5 місяців тому +7

      What constitutes "experiencing life"? Getting ran through by 100 guys before getting married?

    • @mrsimon9227
      @mrsimon9227 5 місяців тому +15

      @@Neoquaker1 no it’s the fact that she hasn’t experienced life. When you’re married you can’t just up and go when you want to especially when you have kids..so now basically she’s stuck. I’m 32 and my sisters are 22 and I wouldn’t dare date someone let alone married them at that age range.

    • @dani4157
      @dani4157 5 місяців тому

      ​@@mrsimon9227She made her choices

    • @mrsimon9227
      @mrsimon9227 5 місяців тому

      @@dani4157 you right

    • @ykook7000
      @ykook7000 5 місяців тому +4

      What a ridiculous comment ​@@Neoquaker1

  • @exuafra
    @exuafra 5 місяців тому +2

    She's planning the divorce. He spends all his money on expenses, and she uses hers to buy and asset. Of course, she doesn't want to run the income together; she's already running it all herself.

    • @ilerihprincess
      @ilerihprincess 4 місяці тому

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @champagne4bfast
    @champagne4bfast 5 місяців тому +22

    This was odd. They didn’t ask the incomes and the mortgage amount to assess whether the wife is genuinely putting her entire paycheque toward the household (mortgage and baby x2 expenses) while this groomer is trying to access her paycheque so he can mismanage it.

    • @amaragrace94
      @amaragrace94 5 місяців тому +4

      Agreed. Very odd. They got stuck on "allow" and she became the enemy.

    • @apersonontheinternet8006
      @apersonontheinternet8006 5 місяців тому

      Groomer? Younger women have always chased older men. You need to go take your meds.

  • @canton444
    @canton444 5 місяців тому +2

    I would love to hear her side the story. It would be great if we can find out some actual numbers. Income? Debt? Who caused the debt?

  • @KS-cl8br
    @KS-cl8br 5 місяців тому +4

    either she or he can say I wont allow this. She should divorce a guy who cant take care of their kids and his wife but want to take her money to support his parents... she can do better

    • @apersonontheinternet8006
      @apersonontheinternet8006 5 місяців тому

      If the roles were reversed and he out-earned her and she wanted him to help take care of her mother you would have the exact opposite opinion.
      At least he will get half the house and alimony when she finally decides to listen to you hypocritical women.

  • @DIYDaveOK
    @DIYDaveOK 2 місяці тому +1

    Yeah I think Dave just missed the fact he expects to subsidize his father. His response would have been vastly different .

  • @priyanshumanna9352
    @priyanshumanna9352 5 місяців тому +323

    I feel that the last bull run was bolstered by all the money being printed. Major returns next bull run but I think they will be tamer in my humble opinion. A 10x on *DaleValskov* and a 15x on polygon are fair considering how much those two coins are interwov

  • @robertthompson5908
    @robertthompson5908 5 місяців тому +2

    Worst Davey Ramsey response to a call ever. He just completely blew past the most important issue in the call, namely that the guy is planning to support his deadbeat dad. Did he tell his wife this before they got married? What does she think about this? More generally , did they discuss anything about finances before they got married? When did they establish their current arrangement? Dave and Rachel didn’t spend a second establishing even the most basic background facts about this case. They just launched into some stupid diatribe about “feeling scared”.

  • @fhuber7507
    @fhuber7507 5 місяців тому +5

    Guy sounds much like the women who call wanting hubby to support her family.
    This is one of the times I would say the woman should run. This guy is all about getting what he wants.
    And Ramsey always says the guy should just buckle down and pay up...
    And here, for once, they're telling the guy that his wife should just buckle down and pay up.
    They completely skipped that this caller wants to put supporting his parent over having their own financial stability and that's why the wife is rebelling.

  • @Ash-a-ley
    @Ash-a-ley 5 місяців тому

    You entered with the what and not the why" - solid advice for starting any conversation.
    Also the "my spouse won't allow" - this is the punchline of all the best old married jokes.

  • @catherineharcourt8592
    @catherineharcourt8592 5 місяців тому +3

    WOW ten year difference
    Got to question control issues.
    She married at 20. Twins at 24.
    But wondering if 34 year old had a dream expecting wife to live his dreams ignoring her dreams.dreams need to consolidate
    Disaster!
    At any age You have to be on same page if coupled to someone 20s, 30s…..60s

  • @Imaginarysonics
    @Imaginarysonics 5 місяців тому +35

    Why on EARTH would a 19 year-old want to get married, let alone to a 30 year-old? What could a 19 year-old even have to talk about with a 30 year-old?

    • @christophercarrigg3775
      @christophercarrigg3775 5 місяців тому +11

      He didnt wanna marry her to talk to her

    • @champagne4bfast
      @champagne4bfast 5 місяців тому +12

      To be fair, he sounds childlike

    • @champagne4bfast
      @champagne4bfast 5 місяців тому

      @@christophercarrigg3775 then he needs to stop trying to talk to her about accessing her paycheque

    • @Britty0189
      @Britty0189 5 місяців тому +1

      It’s not like he had the money lolol

    • @Ry-ch5fd
      @Ry-ch5fd 5 місяців тому +2

      Younger women are far more attractive, so why wouldn't a man want to marry younger?
      Not to mention, common interests don't have much to do with age. There is plenty they can talk about...

  • @gonnahavemesomefun
    @gonnahavemesomefun 5 місяців тому +7

    Saves smile at the start on hearing the callers response to congratulations after having twins 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I know that smile lol

  • @BostonCoachTaiwo
    @BostonCoachTaiwo 5 місяців тому +3

    If she’s 23 and they’ve been married for 4, that means he married her at 19 and has been dating her since 16 or 17. A minor in K. Voice

  • @BulentKizilaslan
    @BulentKizilaslan 5 місяців тому +4

    Money is not meant to control people rather it is meant to be put to work producing more money for you. You cannot build wealth without putting money in its rightful place.

    • @charles2395
      @charles2395 5 місяців тому

      You're correct!! I make a lot of money without relying on the government. Investing in stocks and digital currencies is beneficial at this moment.

    • @wells7147
      @wells7147 5 місяців тому

      Thanks for the advice! I'm new to financial planning and wasn't sure where to start. Any tips on finding a reliable financial adviser or resource to guide beginners?

    • @Melbn-di6mi
      @Melbn-di6mi 5 місяців тому

      As a beginner, it's essential for you to have a mentor that is verified by finra and SEC to keep you accountable. I'm guided by a widely known financial consultant Stacey Macken

  • @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living
    @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living 5 місяців тому +1

    Good for her! She’s smart to not combine the finances. He was looking to her to get her financial resources to better HIS life. His dad’s financial problems are NOT her responsibility. The 34-year old guy needs to grow up, put his big boy pants on, and level up his finances. If he wants to financially support HIS dad, it’s on him, NOT her.