“My 23-Year-Old Wife Won’t Allow Us To Combine Finances”
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- Опубліковано 10 чер 2024
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He's a 34YO married to a 23YO hoping to use her money to support him and his father while she has 2 kids to worry about. Absolutely TF not
When you marry, it's ours, not hers
You are agreeing with the original comment without realizing.
Correct: The “ours” should refer to the married couple. The irresponsible father in law should not be included.
@@FMD70757 But not involving the father in law is not anybody's business but the couple's. Married couples rightfully care for elderly parents all the time. And the extent that they choose to care for him is up to them, not the father in law and not random people online.
The age gap is not the problem here… Plenty of people have happy marriages with age gaps. In a marriage no matter the difference. The money is both theirs.
you have that backwards. She married him looking for financial support but wants to keep her own money.
Big red flag-Take care of my dad? No wonder she doesn't want to combine. She needs to look out for her kids.
Agreed. But most people can usually do both to some extent. Often all elderly parents need is a room in your basement and their savings and welfare can take care of the rest. That cost the kid almost nothing.
@@bugermcking4968 plus the old man can watch the kids when needed.
@@kusali11 that's setting up additional expectations that may not be met - dad may not have the physical agility, interest or temperament to watch 2 babies.
You're not wrong on the first part, but WHO needs to look out for WHO'S kids?
If that's a red flag then I hope her parents don't need assistance in their old age.
He expects the wife to cut spending, but doesn't expect his father to, so he has money in retirement.
This mess isn't going to last long.
🎯 Ramsey Solutions folks have been glossing over ever damn elephant in the room for awhile now.
A 23-year old mother of 7 month old twins should NOT be supporting her husband’s daddy, that is RIDICULOUS!
This call is a perfect example why you should save for retirement - so you aren’t depending on your 23 year old daughter in law to pay all your bills
She should have done her due diligence. I'm sure if her mom was in dire straits and needed to live with them, she would expect him to be onboard. Her being 23 is irrelevant. She's a grown woman, a wife and a mother.
@@murdoch1717 if they have two young twins at home and aren’t saving enough money as it is, then she would be wrong to “expect” him to take her mom is. So you’ve inadvertently proved her point - his expectations are wrong.
@@TonyCox1351 Bottom line is this, neither he nor she would allow their parent to be out on the streets whether people agree with it or not. That's my point overall. She would be no different if faced with her elderly mother needing a place to live. It is what it is.
@@murdoch1717 that fully depends why their dad is “out on the street”. Is he truly out on the street? Why can’t he live in a shitty apartment in the middle of nowhere on social security? Why doesn’t he have any money saved, is it because of unfortunate circumstances beyond his control, or did he spend it his whole life on living beyond his means? I’d have a lot of questions that need answers before letting anyone live in my house
They are actually defending this guy and running down his wife because she won't give him all her money to give to his parents. She has 7 month old twins so can't even run far far away. she cares more for her kids than a golden rocking chair
That's because it's not "her" money. It's their money. They are married. If she wanted to keep "her" money then she should not have gotten married. Let me guess, you are a professional career woman, single, in your 40's, with 2 cats.
My mortgage is WAY more than the rest of the bills. This guy is spending money like a drunken sailor and he wants his child bride to foot the bill for him and his father. She should run
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? HIS WIFE IS USING MONEY THAT SHOULD BE USED ON THIER FAMILY TO BE USED ON HER FATHER
@@limbeboy7 It's the husband's father that's broke.
Almost everyone spends more on their bills than their mortgage is you mortgage really half your check...you are house poor. Plus I'm guessing family is taking care of twins because all her paycheck will cover is childcare.
@@TheDjcarter1966most stupid comment so far
Mortgage in LA will for sure higher than monthly bils
@@johndone8045 Yeah I am from LA and they really don't get it. 3-4 bedroom houses on my street with little outdoor space going for $900k to $1million. Can you imagine what the mortgage is lol. If you go further inland to the I.E. you can find something in the $650k-775k range with more space between houses and backyard space. She's got to be making at least $100k and mortgage is likely in the $3k-4k range or more depending on where they are in LA county.
She’s gonna leave him within a year.
I hope so
@@zulikkowalski3547 Whats wrong with you?
Gotta be honest - if I’m looking at 7 month old twins, and my husband suddenly drops on me that he wants to start preparing now to financially support his father whenever he chooses to stop working (0:25)...my first step is not to combine finances. My second step is looking fir a divorce attorney.
@@dfya3294 say it with me now - he wants a submissive provider...
And end up paying HIM alimony. Talk to my coworker's niece.
The guy talks like he's younger than her
Yeah because most men Iive in delusional and never mature. Being married to most men is like having an adult son
That’s why he married her
Yeah very skeptical of this guy.
He's not capable of attracting someone his age.
@@auemmjeepossible, and maybe because of his immaturity she wants to control the finances. Honestly, if she is paying the mortgage and they're both on the deed, they're married, he doesn't have to worry about missing out on that part if they splint, but yeah what is his money going for??
This lady shouldn’t combine finances. Her money will be going towards taking care of his father. The mortgage is probably the largest of the expenses. She can save her money for her retirement. He needs to talk with his father about getting his act together and not relying on his son to fund his retirement.
This marriage is in trouble already.
This poor girl has gotten herself in deep with this situation…because she was pregnant with twins at 23-years old, making this MAN’s mortgage payment, who is 10 years older than her, and he’s calling a pod cast to complain that she isn’t doing enough, besides raising his children, she must get on board to take care of his (I would estimate) 50-55 year old daddy, who should be working all the time and basically finds himself again with less responsibilities…
She erred in marrying this man.
This! This guy sucks
Its their money of thwy arw married
@@djosserperrah9563 nope
@@djosserperrah9563 and he'll make her hard earned money his father's money.
Wait, he wants to combine income so that he can plan for his dad who refuses to plan for himself? I’m all for combining income but not with this guy.
There is a lot more to the story on this dude. I don't think he is fulltime working. Something is rattling here as insincere.
The Caller and his Father should be on the Dave Ramsey plan. Mama is tired! She hasn't slept thru the nite for more then half a year! Plus she works full time and pays the mortgage. Crazy to think She is the one that needs to change right now.
His reasons were, "We have twins and my car needs work." Ramsey didn't ask about their childcare costs or why he couldn't pay for his car. It seems this guy wants to mooch off his wife and look good by supporting his father-nothing wrong with that, but he should save for it himself, not rely on his wife. If the roles were reversed, she'd be called a gold digger. Living paycheck to paycheck? Upskill and find a better job to support your family. It's concerning that he's 10 years older and can't provide. If his wife loses her job, it looks like they might lose their home, yet he wants to combine finances. This isn't wise if he's bad with money. Being born poor isn't your fault, but staying poor is. It also seems like his wife might come from a more stable background, as he emphasizes his own hardships.
@@AdultZenfulColoring " Being born poor isn't your fault, but staying poor is. That is GOLD.
This guy’s a piece of work. She’s paying the mortgage. He’s just shocked that this very young woman - who he’s been dating since she was a teenager - won’t give him control of all of her money so he can do whatever he wants with it. It’s tragic that she had children with this snake. If he writes everything out on paper, she’ll see that she’s carrying this guy, who wants her money to take care of his deadbeat father. Tragic.
Oh you are so right! 23 and doing the mortgage with insurance and taxes thrown in. She carrying a lot.
You have to hand it to this girl…she didn’t marry for money!😂How is a 23-year old mother of twins making more than her 34-year old husband???😬How is that possible…is he an addict? He must be not working full time. I wouldn’t hand my money over to a man like that, she married him at 20-years old…there’s more to this story. Just because you work TWO JOBS doesn’t mean you work 40+ hours a week…I’m disappointed by this production crew, you think they could have vetted this better or looked at it with an open mind.
And had his kids. Women disappoint me entertaining these scrubs....
Easy, she's fat and he's attractive and totally using her for financial reasons. I know many of these couples and the wives buying expensive toys like luxury cars just to keep a man. Competition is high and many women trying to 'steal' other men just for ego trip. Sad stage of our society and Dave is clueless about the real going ons nowadays. Traditional relationship is finished.
because he's a bum
They didn't get enough information to tell him what they did. They made her sound wrong from the get go, but if we had the whole story, it might have been a different song playing. He sounded immature.
You married a 19 year old at the age of 30 expecting her to help pull you out of debt. She’s already paying the entire mortgage while you cover “everything elese”, which is asinine but I won’t touch on that. What do you expect from a person you’ve had a 10 year head start on? I wouldn’t combine finances with someone who is clearly wanting to take advantage of me. Dave and the co-host even raised their eyebrows at the age difference. It’s apart of the problem. I would be ashamed to call in saying my wife who isn’t even old enough to rent a car won’t help my almost mid 30s self get a handle on debt.
Nothing wrong in having 10 year difference. Both of them adults and can make their own decisions
10 year difference or 20 year difference. It doesn’t matter. They’re married.
The real issue is them not working together like a married couple.
Paid in full - I think you strained out a grain of rice to keep a watermelon.
You don't marry and have kids with someone who you know is trying to take advantage of you. And yeah, you can divorce.
But the person will NEVER be out of your life because you had kids with them and most people don't get a 100% custody decision from the court.
You act like the balance of her bank account is her biggest life issue. And, unfortunately it is not.
@@Hdhfhhdh A ten year age gap of 32 and 42 isn't a big deal. A ten plus year gap of 19/20 and 32 is inappropriate and highly questionable. When did he start dating her when she was 17 /18?16?
This dude is a bum. He's working low wage jobs probably part time. And his wife went to school and got a good job. Now he wants what she's got. Hopefully she doesn't let him do this to her.
The minute he said at 0:25 that he has to plan to “take care of” his father “when he stops working” because his father “has no retirement” - that answers her “why”. His father has had decades to prepare for retirement, and has chosen not to. Now this caller is planning to financially support his father in retirement? I wouldn’t combine incomes for that either.
But if the husbands don't support the wifes families all women want to go nuts over it and tell her to take half plus the house and do it anyway with the alimony.
@@apersonontheinternet8006 not even close to “all women”. This mentality that a segment of men have is just the opposite side of the same coin the toxic feminists are on who say things like “all men are pigs”.
@@apersonontheinternet8006What kind of argument is that, if it's the other way around the same logic applies, don't support her family. Doesn't matter if it's the wife or the husband asking for it, they're wrong
@@RodrigoroRex Nonsense. This bs right here is exactly why so many elderly end up being a burden to the taxpayer. Thankfully most of you that say otherwise will have the pleasure of working until you die to see first hand how idiotic you are.
@@RodrigoroRexthat’s what happens in reality. When a women is in the bread winner role suddenly the rules change
The age difference is one issue and his laziness is another !!! This marriage won’t last
I really hope it doesn’t because this man is an absolute joke.
The age difference doesn't matter. His immaturity does.
It absolutely is an issue she was a teenager when they started dating
He was in his thirties dating a teenager. It matters.
It matters when one person was a minor yesterday and the other has been an adult for at least a decade. If they were 30 and 40, or 50 and 60, yeah, it wouldn't matter.
They didn't talk about the Dad situation!!! They needed Delony on this call.
Why? So he can ask the same questions he always does? Are you safe? Did your heart stop? Do you have a support group? Oh I forgot, McDonald's is paying 20 dollars an hour.
@@strangeroamer3219Lmao i love delony but that’s so funny and true
“I can’t breathe.” 😂
Bolony would ask, "is your father safe"? "Is he suffering from trauma?"
@@mikimuzika but you have to think about it, that’s his job!! he’s supposed to investigate the minds behind the phone line. all the ramsey personality’s do have their purpose on the show.
Dave and Rachel missed the fact when he said he would have to take care of his Dad financially when his dad no longer can financially take care of himself. I don't think this guy is being completely honest with Dave and Rachel.
They're SIMPS.
I think he has a screw loose
What is wrong with guy's dad that he CAN'T work + pay his own bills + prep/save for his own retirement?
WHERE is dad's WIFE/this guy's mom???
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. He is like his father. He married a purse and is looking for that purse to also be a nurse to his failing father. I get this feeling this guy isn't much of a dad either. He sounds like a control freak== he wants it all on his terms. Keep the finances separate. There was a moment when she took on the house payment that was the time to work things out. I have to wonder if the house was on her credit, in her name. How did they qualify for the house? My house was balanced on my income, not my ex husbands because he would not take on a full time job. I hung in until the kids were grown, but checked out on my 30th anniversary. His major complaint in the divorce mediation was that he was losing his safety net. This guy wants to put his feet up. I wonder what her folks think of him.
How are you 30+ yrs old and expecting an early 20 something yr old to combine money? Then you got the 20 something yr old to pay the mortgage. The 30 y/o had more time as an adult to get his finances together as the 20 y/o is still fresh into the workforce but she's covering the mortgage, the kids, & she probably has to play a role of caretaker to the dad in law. This is a prime example of why younger girls are not interested & shouldn't be interested in older guys these days because some of them don't have their stuff in order. He's baggage to the 20 yr old.
Well, when you marry, you become one, and should have the finances combined
@@leeriley7789 As a (30 y/o) man, you're really going to rely on a 20 y/o instead of going out there to grind? And some of ppl wonder why women do not want to deal w/ some of these men. If she can do all of that why does she need him. Then he's adding the father in law in the mix. The FIL & the 30 y/o had more time as a working adult than the 20 y/o to get their life straight.
And combine what...? She's paying the biggest bill & doing everything else 🙄. He needs to make more money by getting a full-time job instead of working part-time.
@@dfya3294 I said if you're married, you are supposed to be one and not have yours or mine. Never said she was supposed to take care of him
@@leeriley7789you’re missing the point amigo. yes, if you’re married, in most cases you should be morally obligated to combine finances, but in certain circumstances if your spouse has shown time and again they’re a financial train wreck, and let’s not forget she is smart enough to see the apple usually doesn’t fall far from the tree, if the father never learned to manage money, the son could be going down the same path.. she has every reason to keep her money separate from his..
that's exactly how I feel. younger girls need to watch out
"contract IT work" i.e. VARIABLE income, wife is scared of his variable income, SHE is going to protect the herself and the family
Yep! Been there, done that and I am not going back.
I'm never combining finances again. In fact, I'm never getting married again. 😂
Good for you
I know my life and finances would be looking very different right now if I had done that, and not in a good way... Combining finances makes it so much easier to achieve certain goals, but the disadvantages outweigh that one advantage. It's wild to me how many people insist that that has to happen for a marriage to be considered solid.
@@user-kpkxgtj it can be solid if there is good communication. If not, very difficult. Combining 'forces' the communication & cooperation
Saaaaaammmmeee. Divorce cost me a fortune, ex is a deadbeat. Never again.
Never say never!
This guy is an absolute joke of a man. Marries a teenager a decade younger than him, uses her to pay the bulk of the household in Los Angeles, and then expects her to provide for his broke father because neither the caller nor his father have any financial sense. She understandably doesn't respect him enough to share the finances.
And Dave is wrong. Having him tell her how "scared" he is will only make her lose even more respect for him. He needs to "man up" and prove to her he can provide and be responsible before asking her to combine finances. And I feel awful for her. She didn't deserve to be tied down at 19 to this loser.
You pretty much summed it up. I'm not with Dave and Rachel on this one.
Truth!
totally agree, this guy took advantage of a young girl, just the fact that she’s more financially responsible than this joker, when in 9 out of 10 cases it would be the other way around, he obviously 🙄 has followed the footsteps of his father when it comes to financial responsibility, this loser is just trying to manipulate this poor girl into supporting two losers instead of one.. she needs to bail, and start a new life Dave is an absolute dolt for sympathizing with this guy.🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
She’s smart and carries the most weight
I do wonder if the comment would read differently if the gender roles were reversed
Sorry but i'm not responsible for supporting my future in-laws retirement nor will i support my parents or expect my future husband to support mine. I"'ll get divorced before i do that. This was a terrible episode. They missed the big red flag. His problem is his dad, not hers.
Exactly. Supporting other people comes AFTER you've set yourself up for success.
Though it's correct that the caller's dad is a concern, they did recognise that the biggest problem here is likely to be the marriage, not the finances. Not combining incomes is only a symptom of the marriage problem. Ideally, they would discuss and agree about financial goals and priorities, as part of a healthy marriage. So they need to agree about what to do with the caller's dad, their children etc. Not agreeing likely will lead to divorce.
Point being, the hosts of the show were correct in focusing on encouraging the caller to discuss with his wife his "whys" - ie what should our priorities be? What should we be scared about?
@@SamOwenI the greatest disappointment was that they didn’t ask the questions that they ask most people: how much do you both make and how much is your mortgage. Those 3 answers could have told us everything we needed to understand about the scenario. If 50% of her take-home goes on the mortgage and 80% of his goes on utilities, I could understand how they can’t afford his shenanigans. She has a set of twins and he wants to support his dad. He barely mentioned the babies.
Family dynamics matter.
I live with my grandparents, and we help take care my great grandmother. XD
Sometimes its necessary to help care for an in law or family, if its where you can, and they are nice, and arent just taking advantage.
*She's 24 and her paycheck covers their entire mortgage in L.A.
*He wants to combine their money to plan for "my family" including taking care of his broke father when he retires.
*Not happening.
I agree, his “why” benefits him more than it does them
Did I miss something in the video? I didn’t hear him say he wanted to combine his income so that he can take care of hisbroke father. But even if he did, it’s the same fundamental issue. She isn’t willing to fully commit to the marriage. And combining incomes is just that.
@@mtbokor1969yes you definitely missed something. Read between the lines a bit - she probably doesn’t want to combine paycheck because that means more of it is going to go to support his dad instead of their twins
@@mtbokor1969you didn’t miss anything. People making excuses for her which is standard in these comments. Had the convo been flipped and he didn’t want to combine with her, no excuses would exist and he would just be a bad person.
Or maybe the mortgage is reasonable and he is paying a lot more. She like the extra money she has every month and he has the joy of covering all the bills and having no money
Wife, if you are reading this, DON'T DO IT! ❗
(clap, clap, clap!) I am with you on this one!
I don't blame her. There's no way I'd want my money to be used to look after someone who failed to plan for their own retirement.
My money is for my family (husband and kids only) not extended relatives.
If and when they decided to help elderly parents is a decision to make together with their combined money. He didn't indicate that he had ever given his dad anything. He said he was afraid that someday they might need to help.
He's trying to do better than his parents did, and build a secure life for his family, and the wife doesn't want to. That's it.
0:25 that is exactly what this guy said! And both Dave and Rachel ignored this. After my mother passed, my husband and I (with two babies) bought his house. That was 6 years ago - he’s now 72, has a place to live, eats with family every day, has company, etc... but he lives off of his retirement, which he planned and executed starting when he was 19 years old. No way would I ever financially support a parent. My finances are meant to support and build MY family and MY children. Her husband has just decided that he’ll be his daddy’s cash-cow, and now suddenly wants his wife’s income to help him reach that goal. THAT is his “why”.
The man IS supposed to cover all the bills. Her money is her money.
@@francismarion6400 WRONG
Parents aren't extended family.
Calling parents extended family is like calling your adult children extended family.
If anything you owe your parents more than your adult children because they gave and didn't take, while adult children did the opposite.
I'd rank priority of obligation
1) spouse and under 18 children.
2) elderly parent
3) young adult child
4) adult child over 25 and elderly extended relatives and siblings
5) everybody else.
I suspect Dave & Rachel missed that opening "Take care of my dad" comment because I know they usually feel about this and it wasn't mentioned again nor addressed in this call.
1) take care of each other & your kids first
2) then can worry about parents together
I would be freaked to share finances with someone who didn’t have the priorities straight either.
They chose what to ignore. They have a narrative to protect
“My 23-year old, pregnant with twins wife “ONLY” makes our ENTIRE mortgage payment by herself”…said no man over 50-years old, ever. That’s the trouble with America today…
This is what equal opportunity looks like when everything is actually equal, like it used to be, but with the shoe on the other foot. Yeah, it's wrong, but he's been trained well.
Why are you saying entire like it’s a lot? My wife and I make 160k a year combined. We do have all combined finances, but she makes 80k I make 80k. Our mortgage is 8% of our monthly income so if we did separate it, it’s still less than 1 weeks pay. Quit having a broke mindset
@@davidbrayshaw3529 This is not what equal opportunity looks like. Women do not have equal opportunity when applying for jobs or when it comes to income. The misogyny in the workplace to this day is still really bad. The only reason you'll disagree with that is because you're a man and don't experience it so to you it doesn't exist. I was literally told to my face at my last job I wouldn't be promoted because I was a female and men make better managers. So much for equal opportunity. I applied somewhere else and got the job but don't play the BS that there's equal opportunity.
@@NickPlays95 You don’t live in CA where a just ok house in Los Angeles is going to cost you nearly a million dollars.
this happenes when feminism is let loose and anyway women wanted to be equal yime they do more man did it for hundreds of years
The mortgage alone is usually more than the rest of the bills
You don’t have to plan to do SHIT for your dad, and he doesn’t GET to stop working if he has no money. That’s HIS mistake.
He's his dad, you owe your parents something.
Maybe he should only help if one of the conditions is he keep working in some capacity or something.
But you can't just let the guy be homeless.
@@bugermcking4968 he can choose not to leave his parent homeless, but he shouldn't rope in someone else to carry that load. His wife has every right to opt out of that responsibility.
@@user-kpkxgtj No she doesn't. Your wife or husband isn't just a somebody else. It's a partnership and you share familial responsibilities. You have to make the decision together, what your family is responsible for and what they aren't and do it. That's marriage, it sucks but you have to be aware when you marry someone, they come with family that is gonna either be a good or bad thing and that needs to factor into your decision to marry them or not.
@@bugermcking4968 nope. The only responsibility they share is to their family, ie the children they created. Everyone else is not a factor, and providing for them is not a responsibility, but an option should they choose to be generous, and be in the position to afford it.
@@user-kpkxgtj It's not generosity to repay a debt. If his dad was a deadbeat dad who didn't help him at all I would agree it's just generosity but if he was a good dad you owe him some help. And if he owes him then she owes him because that's how a marriage works. It's a 50/50 split of obligation and responsibility and rewards.
Lol i dont blame her, its not a decision that should be made without long thought and proper legal fiduciary advice
Investors should exercise caution with their exposure and exercise caution when considering new investments, particularly during periods of inflation. It is advisable to seek guidance from a professional in order to navigate this recession and achieve potential high yields and taxation
Honestly this cannot be overemphasized, helping people mitigate unforseen circumstances and mistakes .It's always good to have a financial plan,
the strategies for diversification into other commodities are quite rigorous for the regular-Joe. As a matter of fact, they are mostly successfully carried out by pros who have had a great deal of skills and knowledge, with that in hand she can make her decision comfortably.
yeah that's a good path, focus on a good strategy, relax back and watch it compound within the years. In good time you'll see returns.
It's crucial for individuals to diversify their portfolios, seek professional financial advice, and stay informed about market trends to navigate these challenges effectively.
Ramsey's being TRIANGULATED AGAIN - wife has a SAFETY issue, she's married to a little boy, who is hanging TVs at 34, no real plan, no real future, variable income - wife is SCARED and has 7 month twins
DROPPED THE BALL, RAMSEY
Yep! She is not willing to give up a security blanket for this guy. Keep it separate. Any good divorce lawyer will tell you that separate is easier to untangle. This guy sounds like poison ivy.
She makes more money than him but she should combine finances so pay for his debts and his dad? She should leave. This is going to be a terrible situation for her
If only more men would follow that same advice when they often find themselves in that same situation.
No one addresses the elephant in the room. All I am hearing is. I am going to take your money to support my dad.
You get married and it's no longer yours and mine, it's ours. Our money, our dad. Your mindset leads to divorce.
I think the elephant in the room is an elephant in your head. I didn’t hear that whatsoever. I heard a spoiled, young, immature brat wife.
@@davidhealdjr.513That attitude means they don't actually have to agree on major financial decisions.
Agreed, and the more time goes by, she may realize how this guy tried to take advantage of her for her age. Idk, I could be wrong and they're truly inlove but I think the age difference and asking that when they have children (meaning she's locked in) has the alarm going off on my head. People change the moment they think they have something to hold over you.
@@richard77231quite the opposite. They need to work together in their financial decisions.
How I dealt with this was, I contribute my portion of the bills, then paid of my debt in 18 months, returned to my wife told her I was debt free, asked her if she wants to combine money to pay off her debt, she said yes, few months later we were both debt free. We now live on a single budget, money combined.
Sometimes people need to see it to believe it, am a maths guy.
Exactly! You showed her with your actions instead of just talking about it! Bravo 👏🏾 am a math girl also 😁
That's what I was thinking, if she doesn't want to do it, he can start the journey by himself and take care of his debt. Hopefully their current split of her paying the mortgage and him paying everything else doesn't mean he has no disposable income and she does.
In life nobody will follow u if you haven’t shown you can lead. I praise you for showing her you had a plan that actually worked.
I don't know. I don't think people should get married until they trust each other enough to combine finances. It doesn't make sense to share a life with someone but not have combined finances.
Pay off debt BEFORE getting married!
Imagine that’s your daughter….
Oh Dave would be singing a very different tune.
A California mortgage prob is more than the rest of the bills
This is a weeeeird call
The marriage won’t last
Not many do.
There are even divorces over 60.
@@blackworldtraveler3711The numbers are skewed. First time marriages have a pretty high success rate. Second, third, fourth marriages have a high failure rate. When it’s mixed together, the average is half.
Such positivity. Alot of marraiges last. Alot don't. But just because someone calls in with a issue doesn't mean there's NO hope at all.. geez!
@@cynthiawaldorf9353Thry will divorce by next year. Love isn’t real
@@cynthiawaldorf9353
The divorce rate of unmarried men is exactly 0%.
I'm literally overwhelmed, You are a blessing to the world. I can't thank you enough *DaleValskov* for helping me with my account recovery. My prayers will always be with you and your team. Keep it up guys. Love from Maldives. There are many people out there I pray everybody get help.
The sugar daddy doesn’t have much sugar
He's hypoglycemic.
Splenda daddy
He's not a sugar daddy, he's a mooch. He married a kid 10 years his junior and is leaning on her financially instead of demonstrating he's a partner. She at least had the presence of mind to keep him off her bank account so he can't bleed that dry. Red flags all over this situation
More like he is expecting his wife to be a cash-cow for his father who failed to prepare for retirement.
@@cyrenedomogalla5127he probably found out she made a lot of money and thought of what he could do with it, this was premeditated
She was 19😂😂😂😂
He tried to clean It up and said 20 😂
Good for him
@@MyAirMylesyeah and good for her once the divorce is final
@@MyAirMylesyeah...a grown man who can't afford to provide for his family but wants to provide for his father.... he's gonna be paying child support soon.
@@auemmjeebahahahah.
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whats the knowledge spend frugally? thats just common sense bud
Maybe she has a valid reason for not trusting him with family finances. There are people that are better off separate so there is some hope for when an emergency
If she did not trust him, she should not have married him.
Bingo@@insideoutsideupsidedown2218
Like him suddenly realizing that he wants to financially support his father “when he decides to stop working” 0:25
@@insideoutsideupsidedown2218 she was very young when they married. Life experience is earned through time. Judgy much?
@@insideoutsideupsidedown2218It’s almost like many middle aged men are old and predatory and like marrying young girls for that very reason
Getting out of debt with twins, wants a new car and taking care of your Dad? I wouldn't sign on to taking care of your dead beat Dad either. You need to plan the finances before all of these things happen. Signed Elmur Fudd!
You're making a lot of assumptions there about his dad, all based on what HE is telling you. You don't know anything about the dad. Dad may be living a very frugal lifestyle and he's totally clueless about what dad's situation is.
@@USMC6976he's the one who brought his dad into the conversation. It doesn't matter what the dad's situation is; it's not his wife's responsibility
@@auemmjee I never said it was his wife's responsibility. Again, stop making assumptions not based on any evidence. The OP called the dad a deadbeat. The OP has no clue about the dad. Just as you have no clue about what I said.
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Paying all the other bills doesn’t even come close to my mortgage lol I’d rather have all the other bills
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She is 23 and paying the majority of the bills. I can see why she is not wanting much to do with this guy. The odds this marriage lasts more than another 2 years is about 3%.
It was stated she only pays the mortgage. He pays for everything else.
@@Courtney19751 In L.A. that is pretty much everything. 😅
@@Courtney19751 depends on where in LA but depending on how much she makes, it could be anywhere from $2.5k-$5k/month. That's if the mortgage is based on her income alone. She's got to be making at least $100k.
Don’t forget, at 0:25 this guy gives Dave and Rachel his real “why”.
His wife doesn’t want to cash-cow for his father, who failed to prepare for his own retirement. She has infant twins... good for her.
@@Courtney19751yeah but for almost everyone a mortage/rent is the majority of your monthly bills
So she's the breadwinner already now he's wanting her to give up more money to fund his dad's retirement?
I feel for this poor girl. What a mistake she made
This guys a weirdo. Notice how he changed the age she was when they got married. She was probably 18 if not potentially 17 when they started dating and he would have been in his late twenties. Freaking creepy.
It's amazing what you do *DaleValskov* We need a lot of people with your skills and set who have good intentions and spread love
She’s not going to combine finances. That’s one of the prices you pay marrying with a big age gap like that. It’s a fair trade.
We have to understand each if their “why’s”.
His “why” for wanting to combine incomes: 0:25 to financially support his father when he chooses to stop working.
Her “why” for not wanting to combine incomes: see his “why”.
Age doesn’t matter when it comes to money. Greed is greed and younger women are just following older women’s guidance. Basically use men!
Why would age matter when it comes to combining finances?
How is she using him@@jgotem8779
She better not. That arrangement wouldn't benefit her in any way.
I don’t like this caller. Sounds like he preys on the young because the women his age know he ain’t worth a fart in the wind. She messed up by having kids with this bozo. Oh well 🤷🏻♂️
And his laugh at 6:11 reminds me how all the bums laugh
She hasn’t even experienced life yet..you basically married a teen
What constitutes "experiencing life"? Getting ran through by 100 guys before getting married?
@@Neoquaker1 no it’s the fact that she hasn’t experienced life. When you’re married you can’t just up and go when you want to especially when you have kids..so now basically she’s stuck. I’m 32 and my sisters are 22 and I wouldn’t dare date someone let alone married them at that age range.
@@mrsimon9227She made her choices
@@dani4157 you right
What a ridiculous comment @@Neoquaker1
This is a great video I really appreciate the dedication in each video you post, I learn a lot watching your videos and it has always been helpful to me. Building a steady income is quite difficult for newbies.. Thanks to *DaleValskov* for improving my portfolio. keep up with the good videos.
I 👏🏼 wish 👏🏼 Dave 👏🏼 would 👏🏼 stop 👏🏼 interrupting 👏🏼
Once she hits mid-life she's going to run out the backdoor.
Out the back door, for someone to go in to her’s…. 😂
Hopefully it won't take that long, she must be exhausted already.
It won't take that long... she will be out of there in the next year or two. She's 23, and I'm sure she's starting to see the loser for who he is, that's why she doesn't want to combine finances. Just give it a couple more years, it's going to get worse.
This is why people should not combine incomes. Individuals have their own needs, wants, dreams and aspirations. Those do not stop when you get married. They should have three accounts, his, hers, and theirs.
His father has at least 20 years to plan forhis retirement. She is paying the morgage! Your not telling us percentages and numbers. It could be 75%. She isnt feeling safe. She needs run money, because you dont want to give her access to any money. Your a controller
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Omg…why would you try to take care of your father? Ridiculous. I’ve not taken a relationship further because I don’t want to support my partner’s parents or children…it’s a slippery slope.
That’s rude. Well at the end of the day it’s his father. People who truly love their parents won’t want them on the streets. Even though his father’s actions are not his fault he is doing what a good son would do.
@@issak228 his father is a grown man, he takes care of himself. This young man’s resources are to provide for HIS CHILDREN, HIS WIFE. Parents who expect their children to take care of them, that’s completely unacceptable and unfair to his wife and children.
@@SuzanneQuew-vc4usdang did your parents suck or what?
@@SuzanneQuew-vc4usWhile I agree with this, I think there can also be room to help parents if necessary. But that’s if it’s not a detriment to the nuclear family. They come first. If you have enough after, I dont see that as a problem.
@@BlueDauntless granddaddy should be helping these young, struggling parents with young babies!
Why on EARTH would a 19 year-old want to get married, let alone to a 30 year-old? What could a 19 year-old even have to talk about with a 30 year-old?
He didnt wanna marry her to talk to her
To be fair, he sounds childlike
@@christophercarrigg3775 then he needs to stop trying to talk to her about accessing her paycheque
It’s not like he had the money lolol
Younger women are far more attractive, so why wouldn't a man want to marry younger?
Not to mention, common interests don't have much to do with age. There is plenty they can talk about...
I have ALWAYS believed in separate finances and no one will ever convince me to combine. There is no way that I have been careful about my money, to then be footing the bill for my husband and his dads lack of planning.
If I were this lady, it would be time to split bills and mortgage down the middle, just to prove a point that the mortgage repayments cost more.
If she doesn't want to combine and she is paying the mortgage, that speaks volumes!
I honestly don't understand why you're discussing these dubious schemes. There are plenty of options like Eledator and similar ones that are fast and profitable.
This was odd. They didn’t ask the incomes and the mortgage amount to assess whether the wife is genuinely putting her entire paycheque toward the household (mortgage and baby x2 expenses) while this groomer is trying to access her paycheque so he can mismanage it.
Agreed. Very odd. They got stuck on "allow" and she became the enemy.
Groomer? Younger women have always chased older men. You need to go take your meds.
Saves smile at the start on hearing the callers response to congratulations after having twins 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I know that smile lol
Saves smile
i'm with her 😅 its sounding like he needs a better job because all he's doing is paying utilities and he needs a second job for that? feels like we are missing some info here.
I think this dude is a douche for trying to make his wife pay for his father’s retirement, but he may also be paying for daycare, car payments, and/or insurance. That can add up to a pretty penny.
He is a groomer. Sought out a little girl who just turned legal a year or so before while he is a decade older than her. He is a bad guy.
Sad that some on here think this is ok.
They’re probably engaging in the same behavior
And he locked in the deal with getting her pregnant.
0:25 His “why” is that he wants to cash-cow his wife to financially support his loser dad “when he decides to stop working”. I’d be real curious to know this guy’s heritage. Either way - he, like his father before him, are parasites. I’m a traditional wife and mother - but if I were this woman, I’d be seeking a divorce attorney.
Sounds like it.
Jumping to conclusion with little to go off. Typical youtube comment section
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Seems like he can't handle the money he already has. Why would they combine finances? He needs to become responsible first.
Glad this situation came up because I can relate! I got puppy dog excited and started the conversation with the 'what'. My wife was understandably confused and upset, but I recalibrated and explained it more calmy. She was much more receptive as a result, and we aligned on a plan. 20K of debt knocked out together and still goin!
you don't need to take care of your parents. You have your own family. They need to take care of themselves.
Tell your wife your scared, and then tell her you want to combine finance, she'll sign right up for that guaranteed.
😂😂😂
No
😂
Granddaddy should be helping them! Not the other way around! I’ve NEVER heard of such a thing…I don’t care if he’s paralyzed, an addict or disabled…something is wrong here…I see a red flag! She’s not on board? Of course not! I’m not supporting a grown man in any circumstance! H$&@ NO!
You feel no obligation to care for a disabled relative?
@@bugermcking4968 he should be getting SS if he’s legitimately disabled.
@@bugermcking4968 I don't think he said that Dad was disabled. I think he said, Dad won't have any money when he is too old to work. IMHO, if Dad is working now he can get on a budget and do things now so he has the best future he can.
@@christie4336 I agree, but you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. And at the same time you can't let your parent die from neglect when they get old and feeble and unable to care for themselves. The way I see it I'm gonna give my parents some money and if they seem responsible they get it early and if they aren't I'm gonna save it and help them when they are near death.
Firstly,she is protecting her home ownership by being sole mortgage payment.... my question is, whose name is the house in and was the deposit jointly paid for
A 30 year old marrying a 20 year old?! She literally just graduated high school of course she’s going about her finances the way she is. She’s a 24 YEAR OLD MOTHER OF TWO. She has not had a single second to enjoy her life outside of school. These two are so patient and respectful to not scold a grown man for grooming a young adult.
If she’s 23 and they’ve been married for 4, that means he married her at 19 and has been dating her since 16 or 17. A minor in K. Voice
In the words of Don Vito Corleone spoken to Johnny Fontane "you can act like a man...what's the matter with you!?!?!"
You entered with the what and not the why" - solid advice for starting any conversation.
Also the "my spouse won't allow" - this is the punchline of all the best old married jokes.
"Say the why and the how" - also solid. Loving the advice yall.
Good luck to this couple. Yall will work this out. I wish I had this Ramsey show when I was 34 or 24. 😅
Rachel is the only one on the show that can keep dave from interrupting when they are talking lol. Love it.
When i was 30 I had been promoted 3 times, paid off one home and was 40k away from paying off another. I can't imagine clicking with a 20 year old at that point in my life.
Yah it’s really weird
A sugar daddy with no sugar 😂
I like Dave's advice on finding the "why".
A strong why will drive results.
This caller gave is “why” at 0:25.
His wife ‘s “why” for not combining incomes is the same.
You entered with the what and not the why" - solid advice for starting any conversation.
Also the "my spouse won't allow" - this is the punchline of all the best old married jokes.
Shes 24. She isnt focused on the longterm future.
Can't tell that since they didn't grill him about the why she won't combine like they do when a woman calls in with the same situation.
If that's your assessment, she must take after her Father-in-law
Well she seems pretty focused if she's paying their entire mortgage in L. A. and smart enough to not plan on paying for his broke father's retirement. 😅
She’s probably focused on the twin 7 month olds at home. If I had two infants to care for, living paycheck to paycheck, and you approached me about giving your retired dad money…I’d laugh you out of the house
@@TonyCox1351yep. Immediate family first obviously
either she or he can say I wont allow this. She should divorce a guy who cant take care of their kids and his wife but want to take her money to support his parents... she can do better
If the roles were reversed and he out-earned her and she wanted him to help take care of her mother you would have the exact opposite opinion.
At least he will get half the house and alimony when she finally decides to listen to you hypocritical women.
My husband supports his parents. He initially earned less than me but I encouraged him to further his career. He now earns more and able to support his parents and our family. He needs to work harder.
She “won’t allow” him to have the money, for a reason…
She got herself a bottom shelf Brad.
The "golden rocking chair" ... that's HER chair. He's not contributing much to the household finances hanging TVs. I'm on her side ... he needs to match her income for a couple years before combining funds.
They are married. Their funds are now "their" funds.
He’s contributing enough to take care of all the other bills. Hanging TVs is trying to bring more than what his salary does. Do you really think he’s able to pay for every other bill with “hanging TVs?”
They need to work together to get ahead. What’s she doing with the rest of her salary? Is she helping take care of her kids, or does that fall on him?
They should combine and agree to every dollar spent. They both get a say.
@@BlueDauntlessshe shouldn't give this guy a penny if he is planning to support his father
Its quite amazing that you women never say that about the wives when they earn substantially less than the husband. When the husband earns more than the wife it is always "our money" but when the wife earns more than the husband it is "her money".
He implied he is in debt and he is going to give money to his father to support him. She is not in debt and doesn’t trust he will manage the money properly. There are two sides to this. He wants to combine to get her money to pay his debt and support his father. I don’t blame her.
Don't kid yourself. every relationship revolves around things that you are allowed as well as things you are not allowed. there are lines that are drawn and as long as both sides can meet or compromise/agree the relationship works out.
Guy sounds much like the women who call wanting hubby to support her family.
This is one of the times I would say the woman should run. This guy is all about getting what he wants.
And Ramsey always says the guy should just buckle down and pay up...
And here, for once, they're telling the guy that his wife should just buckle down and pay up.
They completely skipped that this caller wants to put supporting his parent over having their own financial stability and that's why the wife is rebelling.
Ramsey and the lady do not address anything about this guy's father and how he wants to support him and use his wife's money to support His father.
You definitely have my sub. This content is next level. For me Eledator was the turning point. Please keep doing what you do and keep being you, love it.
Combining finances at 23 with a dude 10 yrs older is a bit wild to begin with. Huge risk. She’s smart for hesitating imo.
Extremely smart no way