Don't Ask Women When They're Having Children
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- Опубліковано 23 вер 2024
- Watch the full episode ft. Jen: • Girl Talk (ft. Jen) - ...
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I got asked this at a baby shower. When the man found out how old I was(much older then the expecting mother the baby shower was for), he told my mother to "find me someone to marry". I did not know this man, but it was insulting & infuriating that he thought he had any say/influence in my life. I love & adore the kids in my family but having my own is something I know I'll never be ready for even with all the experience of taking care of siblings & cousins. I'll babysit and be the cool aunt for as long as I live
Yes ! I feel the same. I won't be a mother, and the cool aunt position is definitely the best one 👍 (source : my cool aunt and the relationship I have with her 🤣)
Ugh. Males. 🤦🏼♀️
I remember my older sister telling me when she had been with her boyfriend for about 3 years she was asked so when are you getting engaged. When they got engaged, everyone asked when is the wedding. After they were married many asked when is a baby coming along. When her baby was about a year old, many asked when is a brother or sister coming. It just goes on and on. Why are people so nosey!
Exactly!!! I think that people are so nosey because we are taught that this is how you make small talk and get to know each other. So we should totally come up with new small talk questions and put these questions that make it sound as if they're asking about our sex life in the grave.
My family did exactly that. It felt awful. There was so much pressure to get to the next step and so little understanding that sometimes you just want to enjoy now. Probably not a coincidence that I’m not very close to that section of my family and the people I’m closest to now are the ones who never tried to push me to the next step before I was ready.
But yeah, it’s a rude and nosy question. Hell, I had people asking me if I was thinking about a second child when I hadn’t even recovered from my first being a preemie! Nosy dorks. Just let people be and they’ll have kids or not, and if they do have them then they’ll share on their own time.
You would wish they stay like that so you don't make mistakes.
@@shaivjoshi4063 what?
Looking someone dead in the eyes and saying "small talk sucks, don't make it worse" is the PERFECT response to someone asking when you are going to have kids. Thank you for this.
Medically it wouldn’t be safe for me to have kids. As someone who wants to be a parent, it’s incredibly hard to hear the question and know that the answer will always be “I won’t be having any biological kids” or when I say that I’m considering adoption I get met with “but when are you going to have real kids?” Like it’s a no win situation. Don’t ask people when they’re having kids
I’m so sorry for your situation. I’m 35 and I found out that I have PCOS & can’t have kids 4 years ago. At first my husband & I thought about adoption, and my mother-in-law was the worst about it. She kept telling me how much my nephews (on my husband’s side) behave like my husband. She said that that was proof that children’s behaviors are based on nature not nurture so, no matter what, adopted children wouldn’t grow up to be like us. And she was also so worried about where we would adopt from… she was worried about what the child’s race might be. Anyway, we decided that adoption isn’t for us and kids in general just aren’t part of our journey. And that’s ok. I haven’t told anyone, though, because I’m so scared about what their reactions will be and I just don’t want to hear it. Don’t let anyone deter you from the path you want to take and stay strong ♥️
Thats so horrible that people really dont think about how harmful it is to imply adopted kids are "real kids"...that's exactly WHY the foster/adoption system has such a bad rep and why those kids often have problems...Anyone who wants to adopt is amazing in my mind. no clue what gives people the audacity to think its a lesser form of parenting..
@@felinemoonchild thank you for your kind words ❤️
Honestly, this kind of person deserves to feel bad and learn why they shouldn't ask this question. You could just say "I can't have kids" and watch them fall over themselves apologizing.
I’m 56.
I stopped getting the kids question four years ago. But now when I go to alumni events, I’m asked if my son is on the team. I respond “no, my boyfriend is”. That shuts them up.
LOL
That's excellent, I love it
Ew😂, why is that a flex🤣? Or are you just joking?
@@lumkolifts it’s not a flex.
It’s annoying to assume I’m a parent. Other alumni my age don’t get asked that.
"You don't want kids ? Just wait till you've met the right person !" Well mister, if he wants kids, he's not the right person 🤣
I personally don’t want children and I feel like there’s more people who don’t want kids than we think. And since I’m young, a lot of people tell me I will change my mind when I’ll meet someone. My answer would be yes, maybe I’ll change my mind but at the moment, I just can’t talk about having kids (I feel like it’s such a big change in your life that I’m not ready to face). So I want these people to understand that in some cases, the mind can change. But not for everyone. That’s why it’s not nice to ask this question.
I'm 27 and I've known since I was an actual kid that I don't want kids. People love to use the "you'll change your mind/you'll regret it" line, but they never mention the consequences of having a kid you dont want and how that can literally impact that kid their whole life. All any of us can do is make choices based on our CURRENT situation/feelings--after all, many people who want kids act on current, overwhelming emotion and not thoughts of the future.
I always always always wanted kids- until I was about 23. Up until then I thought I was going to have at least 3 kids but maybe even 5. The only way I'll have kids is if I adopt. Luckily my bf and I both changed our minds about having our own biological children at basically the same time lol
I'm 30. My husband and I have been together 13 years. We own a house. All of my friends have kids. And people STILL tell me I'll change my mind about not wanting kids. I think by now if I was going to change my mind, I would have!
They'll still ask when you're 35 and beyond until you're probably 80 😂.
@@Amandcr at that point or will just be “do you regret not having kids?” people have NO boundaries
@@felinemoonchild I changed my mind....... from wanting them to not wanting them lmaooo
It's not only about weather or not it's a choice.. as you said. I have had 5 miscarriages and when people ask me I go into trauma mode
I'm sorry 😟.
I’ve recently found out (after lots of tests) that I’m infertile. It hit hard and the thought of people asking me and my partner when we are having kids is going to be hard
I'm so sorry 😟.
I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry for that
That is why I ask do you have children, rather than when? There is milion reasons why people don't have children.
It's actually really refreshing to come here and see like minded people discussing this. Thank you for talking about and normalising this 🙌
It is easy for me to shrug off the question when it's someone who I'm not relatively close to but when it's my own mother asking me when I'm going to have kids, I get so frustrated.
Same here. I wasn't even in a relationship when she said she wanted grandkids and she had 2 with my sister already.
ETA: in my experience it happens more with family both close and distant.
I’m 23 and single... and I get asked this A LOT!
I’m happy to have supportive parents that say “finish school, find a job and then see wht would you like to do next” otherwise, I would lose it...
My dream is to have a giant lizard with her own bedroom and no child is going to get in the way of that
💗
Life goals!
Looks great. Lizards are amazing
Also don't ask a woman if she's pregnant. This happened to me twice when I was on medication that caused me to gain weight, and most of it was in my belly area. Both times irritated and embarrassed me, so I automatically said, "No, I'm just fat." It's a very personal question, and one that's best not to ask.
I'm sorry that happened to you, that has happened to me too. I wasn't even on medication - I'm just fat in the belly. I said the same thing you did and they actually replied "are you sure?" I went and locked myself in the bathroom and cried. It really stings!
@@GenericaQwerty I'm really sorry for you. But I hope the other person learned the lesson and maybe won't do that again to anyone else in the future.. 🙄 One can hope they will learn.. Eventually
@@GenericaQwerty Ouch, that's horrible. As if a complete stranger would know better than you if you're pregnant or not 🙄
As for myself, I dealt with it too all through middle shool and even hight school, but it wasn't about me, it was about my mom. After she had my little brother, she didn't lost her belly and remained fat in this area since then. The number of times people asked me "is your mom pregnant" is astonishingly hight. I understand kids my age being curious and nosey (even if I wanted to punch them), but the worst is the adults asking. Like, can't you mind your damn business ? Jeez. And I had no solutions here. I couldn't lie about it because people were going to see that months later she looked the same way anyway, and if I told them the truth they would make fun of my mom cause she's fat. Like duh, I know. It's not like I could do something about it. It doesn't mean I'm not angry you're making fun of my mom. Freaking grossophobes 🤬
Ugh I’m so sorry! It’s gross that people still ask that!
I'm 22 and at this moment I've my mind set on not getting married anytime soon or having kids. I'm often told I'm just young and that's why I think the way I do. IT IS INFURIATING when I have this conversation with my friends and they say my mind will change. Pregnancy scares me. I literally cannot handle kids. And the idea of having a kid that looks like me creeps me out low-key. I don't know if I'll change my mind in the future cause life has different paths and who knows maybe in the future I might change my mind to devote the rest of my life in raising children but I wish people would respect my choices now and support me in achieving what I want to achieve at this moment..
😂 I had my baby clone and she has all of my most infuriating traits. I'm sure I'm supposed to learn a lesson there 🤷♀️🤣
I don’t have kids, I’m 22 too, and I don’t want kids right now, or maybe never. And my one coworker and I were talking and he said it might change, (nothing malicious with that comment as it was a groups of us all talking, half have kids other dont) and I said your right but right now it’s a no, I feel like I’m too young to have any, but if others my age do, that’s great no shame.
BRO SAME having a little child that looks like me is kinda terrifying 😭
I get told all the time that oh I will change my mind or that you never know type of thing. Its so frustrating, I never want kids. I don't like children and I have horrible mental problems that I know would get worse and would affect any child if I were to have one. A awhile ago I thought oh maybe I would adopt but as I got older I realized I would be a horrible parent because of my own mental issues. I really don't understand why people always tell me that I will change my mind when I know I won't. I know that my own problems would harm any kid I would have and its not like its an easy fix. I believe a child should be in a loving home and personally I know I would never be able to do that. So hearing it always angers me as to me its like saying they're okay with a child being in a horrible home. I should never be a parent and I know that. I really don't get why its trying to be forced. Some people just shouldn't have kids and really shouldn't be parents.
Wow, exactly my thoughts. Hello fellow amazing human ❤️
I really respect people like you who take into account what kind of life they'd be providing a child with when they make the decision to have kids or not
In my family, it seems that there is no bigger achievement than having kids...
My degrees do not matter, in their eyes I will always be worth less than my cousins that have kids without even finishing high school.
It is extremely infuriating that the desire of further education is seen as a waste of time, because you must start having kids before 30!
As a woman I am constantly told that I must have kids otherwise I live for nothing.
Im sorry you dont feel appretiated in your family but no education or kids make anyone a better person. Both are an achievement and its not about which one is more important. your family should love and accept you and your life choices but they shouldnt do it just because you got education. people with kids and no education should be equals to you.
@@timforwin7184 totally agree with your comment. It’s a two way street. People shouldn’t try to make me feel inferior because I had kids young and didn’t get a degree. I promise there is shaming from the other side too. Just let people do their thing, recognize hard work wherever it is- whether that’s furthering your education, or busting your butt being a good mom.
Both are important achievements and it takes all sorts of people to run this world.
😅it's because we all think about procreation, you know. So don't be mad at them, for wanting grandkids/nieces/nephews.
Always so glad to have a role model like you Cristine. Literally so refreshing to hear people talking about this topic in this way
As someone who doesn't want kids, this question is so annoying! Especially since, in my experience, most people who ask it won't accept my answer. And I do feel for people who struggle with fertility or whatever it may be. It's an extremely personal and potentially sensitive subject, so just don't ask about it!
My husband and I don’t have kids. I find that the people who ask are almost always the people you aren’t comfortable with and the people you’re okay talking about it with are more likely to not ask or do so very respectfully. It’s also really someone asking about your sex life if you think about it and that’s never really appropriate.
I thought the same when my in-laws kept asking us. I thought "are you asking if we're having sex?"
I once said to someone (very incredulously) ‘some people actually think that we owe our parents grandkids!’
He looked me dead in the eye and said ‘yeah… you do’
😬
No, we don't. No one asks if the children want to come to this world. The parents make the decision not us. So we don't owe them anything.
funny how those people feel like they're owed the entire life of MULTIPLE human beings...really shows how they view themselves vs others. borderline narcissistic...
Oh my god I cringed so hard 😬 What an uneducated, entitled person. You don't make kids because your parents want them, you make them because YOU want them. As long as you're an adult, your parent's opinion and wishes shouldn't influence your decision in any way shape or form. They took care of you when you were little, it should be enought for them already ! Why would they need to take care of another child, especially when they are older ? Sure a relationship grandchild/grandparent can be very nice, but the potential grandparents shouldn't be entitled to have grandkids. That blows my mind 🤯. They should babysitt some neighbour's kids if they miss children that much
Yeah, you do😅
People shouldn’t be forced to have kids or not. Taking care of kids is a big responsibility and not a lot of people can handle it. Personally, I’m not sure if I want kids in the future because watching my little cousins from time to time turned me off from ever having kids. And if I do ever have kids, I want to be in a good headspace and in a good position in life rather than struggle and not being able to provide for the kids.
Exactly 👏 👏 👏 well said 😉☺️
I'm still on the fence on having kids. My bf and I have discussed at length about us ever having kids. A while after we started dating, I asked him if kids are a deal breaker for him and luckily and thankfully he said no and he's been true to his word. We've both been thinking of the possibilities of us never being financially stable, certain health risks we'd give our kids, lifestyle concerns and fears that we'd end up being like our parents and hurting our own kids. I'm very lucky to have a partner that doesn't force me to want to have kids or forces me to say we will never have kids. If we do have kids, that's great, but we want to exercise caution and never think of kids as a possibility until we're even financially stable for that. Which, we probably won't be as I want a career in art that probably won't pay well and my bf still isn't sure what career path he wants to take. I'm very lucky to have a partner so flexible in our future. Although we both do want to get married so I can't wait to marry this amazing man and live together.
Wow, that's amazing, congratulations on finding this another amazing human being next to you who shares the same views and understandings about life 😊❤️
I don't want to have children because I struggle with my mental health and I don't think it would be fair to a child to have a mother who can't always be there emotionally. I have never had a desire to have children but I definitely don't want to because I feel it would be selfish. Being asked if I want to have kids, saying no, and then being asked why just brings up so many negative emotions and makes me feel worse. I'm sure there are others who feel similar.
I am with you. I have exactly the same thoughts and fears. You're not alone and you are a beautiful human being ❤️ sending lots of love and positivity to your way 😊💖
I get asked this CONSTANTLY by family members, especially since my boyfriend is a single child and my brother has autism so he won’t be having kids (for context I’m 24, my boyfriend is 27, and we’ve been together for 5 1/2 years). I always shut the question down. I remember once having a conversation with my boyfriend’s mom (we have a pretty good relationship) and she asked my boyfriend and I about kids and I told her to adopt a pregnant teenager if she wanted grandkids so badly that way the teen would have a loving home and she’d get the grandkid she wants. honestly maybe one day I’ll adopt, there are so many kids out there that deserve loving homes, but every time someone asks me when I’m having kids my desire to have them goes down.
My boyfriend's mother wants grandchildren and his grandparents also want him to have children so they're not lonely (they're in their 70s so not that old) but me and him don't want kids ever, and I plan to say something similar when asked.
Wait, but can autistic people have kids?
Thank you so much for this video! I really dislike when people ask me this question.
The last time was at a baby shower…I lost count of how many times I was asked. I’m not sure myself if I want to have one. I hope as the years pass that this kind of question becomes less asked as the choice of not having children becomes more normalized.
I hate being asked this question. I'm 32 and my history with my uterus/fertility/relationship is not up for grabs in casual conversation. If someone asks me this, I often find it because they don't have anything better to talk about with me.
Emily from Snake Discovery had the best respond to the kids question. She said they didn’t have a back yard big enough for kids.
also its interesting that it seems to almost never be aimed at men. there are MANY men whose goal is to be a father or have a big family, but our society says thats a desire women have and men don't. It's sexist and invasive either way, but it also just pushes old stereotypes of men not being family oriented and women being slaves to their biology.
True that. I've met more men wanting to have children than women. Maybe because they idealize it more, while we saw our moms doing pretty much all the shit ton of work that comes along having kids, and thus know better if we want that or if we even would be capable of doing that
I have said this in a previous comment but if your married, sometimes your spouse get this question too. I'm sure it's uncomfortable for them too. My in laws kept asking when we would have kids.
Thank you for this. My husband and I have been trying for over 2 years to have a child. Last October we had a miscarriage. I remember at one of my fertility appointments after the MC my doctor asked why am I not pregnant yet. The amount of pain and self-loathing was unbearable. I had to call my husband after the appointment to calm down. It took me weeks to recover from his insensitivity. i'll never forget that. Tomorrow i'll be 10 weeks with our baby girl ( we ended up doing IVF).
I don't want children ever, but I do feel for the people who do and struggle, congratulations on your little one ^.^ I hope everything goes well for you.
It's disgusting when doctors themselves act like this when it's THEIR job to help their patients. Ughhh.
But omg I'm so happy for you! I hope you and your baby are doing well☺
Sending more and more positive vibes for your beautiful family✨✨
I’d rather risk regretting not having kids than falling to pressure and regret having them.
I most likely can't have kids. When I was very young I had lots of pain, even before puberty. I've made solice with that. One day fostering would be nice when I'm in a better position. My boyfriend doesn't want kids and we're fine with that.
Even if I change my mind about not wanting to have a biological child I still wouldn't be able to. People need to back off.
My husband & I have known for awhile that we don't want kids but we still get asked when we are gonna give our parents a grandbaby (both of us are only kids so we are the only way our parents could have blood related grand kids). My mother in law actually asked on the 2nd or 3rd time ever seeing her what we were gonna name our kids because she wanted to approve the name(s), umm awkward & inappropriate. When the same people bring the kids topic up yet again, we always respond that we aren't having kids that we are gonna only have pets. At my mother in laws 3rd wedding, every single member of her family (and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE) asked when we were having kids & told me that I would make such a good mother. It's like I don't want to be rude but GET THE FUCKING HINT PEOPLE!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for saying something about this issue. There's people like me who don't want to pass on their genes and also see the way the planet won't be able to sustain our growing standards of living for long. People also need to stop saying to everyone "WHEN you have kids" like its inevitable. I remember my older sister asking me if I'm just too selfish to have children, but I think it would be selfish of me to have children with all the kids out there that need homes and resources to live.
I've seen a lot of people have kids and not know how much hard work it is, until they're faced with it, and it's usually not a good situation to raise a child in. It almost seems like a novelty the way some people do it and then break down constantly, eventually giving up their kid to a family member or foster care. Education and hands on experience are extremely important, as well as resources to help prevent unwanted pregnancy. There's not enough knowledge about that either.
I got married recently and I’m in my mid-late 30s. I was talking to my parents about kids (we don’t want any) and my dad told me that it would be mean for me to have kids at this point since they would be 20 when I was 60 😑
Omg, same but it was my mom. I’m 33 and my mother told me I should freeze my eggs now before I get older…because you know they get worse the older you get.
@@Path6627 omg... This is horrible. Both of these stories. People need to back off. Even if this is family, it doesn't matter, toxic behavior is still toxic, no matter where its coming from. Please choose only yourself and your partner in mind, because this is ultimately your life, not anyone else's.
My little brother is 19, our parents are 62 and he has no problems with it. It's not too old, and definitely not mean ! My parents have lived a fullfilling 10 years of married life together before deciding to have me and my brother. That way, they are happy and don't have regrets. Regretting having your children cause they "stole" your life is horrible
All my co-workers keep asking when I'm getting married and having kids. Its nothing bad because I eventually want that but that's its every few weeks its slightly uncomfortable because it feels like they are pushing it.
I would ask if they are so miserable and bored with their own lives that they need to put their noses into other people's lives..? These kinds of people really get me frustrated
Jen's argument is so perfect! And more to that point: Personal questions need context. It is perfectly possible to ask that kind of question in an appropriate manner *if* the context is right.
To spring that question on an unsuspecting co-worker is inappropriate; on the other hand, if you are talking to a partner or a possible partner about what you envision for the future, that is reasonable and responsible.
It's not a matter of "being PC" it's a matter of being polite and to treat people with respect and empathy.
I'm 34, have one child and am recently engaged. People are already asking me when we're having a baby. I have absolutely no inclination to have another child and people always say "oh you never know!" Like what??? I'm 34, I've already got a kid and nearly died with an ectopic pregnancy, I think I know my own mind and that I won't change it 🙄
For the record I am a happy mother of 4 (all were by choice and planned with my husband and are amazing ☺️) and I think maybe all women should just agree to spontaneously throw up when this question is asked and then maybe people will stop asking 🤮😆
I have 4- FOUR! And I still get asked “so are you gonna have anymore??” (Nope ✂️✂️) Like if we’re close and the conversation leads there naturally that’s one thing, but it’s like the second question people ask when they find out I have kids, like, boundaries please.
I will only talk about that subject with my siblings. Two of us are in our early 30's without kids and people still give their "you'll change your mind" opinion. I have hope though for people though. I heard three coworkers discussing their adult children the other day, and two of them were completely supportive of their children's decisions to not be parents.
God, I hate when people do this. I'm asexual and aromantic and I absolutely hate kids, so there's no chance of me ever having a partner or having kids. People will never fail to go "you're too young to know that!" or "just wait until you find the right person" when _the right person doesn't exist and I'm an adult who knows very well I don't want kids_ but clearly some people don't get that no means fuckin no when it comes to babies
I don't get asked much but I don't get offended when people ask. But that's coming from someone who hasn't had miscarriages or trouble trying to get pregnant. My bf and I have been together 6 years now so we've been asked a few times. I just say "I don't want biological kids but I'm 100% open to fostering and adopting" they ask why and I tell them there's millions of kids alive without loving homes, I would rather give some of them a loving home instead of making a whole new human. I also bring up climate change and how I don't want my kids to have to deal with a dying planet that the current inhabitants are ignoring- that usually shuts them up lmaooo
I'm literally 20 years old (when this happened) and also dating another woman (Bisexual) and pretty much all my coworkers knew this because I will not hide who I am plus I'm out with my girlfriend a fair bit so my weekend stories were often about going out with her.
Anyway I'm at work on morning and I grabbed my stomach because I was in pain because I hadn't eaten yet and I had an awful coworker we all hated him and still hate him (thankfully he don't work with us anymore) and he looks at me while I'm clearly uncomfortable and says "are you pregnant?" (No!) I looked at him shocked he would even ask that, like we are AT WORK. That is so inappropriate and if I was it was still none of his business like you don't just randomly ask a girl that esspessially at a clearly inappropriate time.
Also his tone wasn't concern it was more judgmental I could sense but he and I always butted heads but still he should not be judging me if I was.
one time my friends and i were talking about ever wanting children and i was like, i never want them and then my teacher was like oh I can totally see you with loads of kids someday and idk i didn’t like it
I want children desperately but due to student loans and medical issues cannot through any method. But go on, keep stabbing at my most festering wound.
I'm absolutely going to continue asking women when they will use their uterus. I will single-handedly ensure it remains a norm.
I'm 24 and have no interest in having children for a couple reasons. I just don't like kids and I have fertility issues that make it very difficult to get and stay pregnant. I have thought about adoption and that's something my boyfriend is interested in as well. I also don't want to bring more kids into a world that I'm unsure about. Everything is just so bad right now. The climate, violence, inequality etc. I don't want to give my future kids a future that isn't what they deserve
I'm not trying to persuade you or anything, I just wanted to add something to your logic at the end: A*holes and irresponsible people are always going to reproduce. The douchebags because they don't care about impregnating women and the irresponsible ones because they didn't have a condom at the moment or forgot the pill or something.
If more educated, caring and responsible people had children, the world would be a way better place. But those people (maybe like you) worry about not being able to provide.
As I said: I didn't want to pressure you, I just wanted to point out the fallacy in your logic. I don't have any kids myself and I'm not sure if I find a partner that I want to have kids with but my way of dealing with this situation was to become a primary school teacher and provide education and care for children that don't have that at home.
I am 37 in a couple of months and have always known I do not want children. Unfortunately, I am blessed/cursed with looking young. Most people think I'm in my early 20s. The amount of "oh you'll change your mind when you grow up!" comments I get - often from people who don't realise they are YOUNGER than me - is quite amusing, but also frustrating. We need to normalise childfree women having worth. I am not less of a woman for not wanting children and have always known my own mind.
I'm not sure why people, especially those that don't actually know you, try to tell you what you need to do or who you are or how your life will turn out. Its frustrating when they demand you agree with their uneducated opinion. Like everyone thinks they are a mind reader or something... yet if they actually were they would know they were wrong lol
I really want kids but my ovaries and uterus are straight from hell lol so I don't even know anymore
It is so strange how fertility seems to be a point in which others feel like they can pry into your life. People asked if I was pregnant when I was not ready to tell. Why put me in such situation? Also when you are visibly pregnant people seem to feel entitled to your body which is just uncomfortable.
It's strange to say "child-free"...
I get cancer free or gluten free, but child? Really? 😂
As a woman who wants children and is reading this comment section, I come to wonder..
Do most people not want children nowadays? Are just Cristines viewers made up of a demographic that doesn't want children? Or do people that do want children and do watch Cristine just not comment or click on such videos?
I don't want to say it's good or bad, it is an individual decision, after all, I am just irritated that percentages seem so shifted in this comment section.
I’ve been a fan of Cristine for a long time and I still eventually want kids. I don’t think the demographic necessarily adopts her and Ben’s perspectives, but I think this video just gives people a safe place to share that common view with each other. I feel like a majority of the internet is more vocal about wanting a family with kids, even subliminally, and that comment section definitely wouldn’t be the right place to talk about it 😅
It’s a question that often comes from the month of the brain dead. 🧟♂️🧟♂️🧟♂️🧟♀️🧟♀️🧟♂️🧟♂️
The idea of a pregnant body grosses me out. Thankfully I've struggled with fertility issues my whole life so I'm the PERFECT person to not want kids! No suffering here!
It's great your body and your mind are on the same wave lenght, lucky you. I feel the same way about pregnancy, babies and all but my body has no fertility problems, even though I dreamed about being sterile pretty much all my life. And on the contrary, some infertile women that wants to have kids lives a literal mental nightmare
Another side of the same coin, stop asking people if theyre pregnant. The only appropriate time to ask a person if theyre having a baby is if you can physically see the baby coming out of that person's body.
No other time is appropriate. Even if theyre about to give birth, or so and so told you. If they are pregnant and wanted you to know, they'd have told you. They haven't told you because they don't want you to know, you got a big mouth and they don't want other people to know, or they don't wanna talk about it.
And if theyre not pregnant, theyre likely to take it as you calling them fat. Or its another reminder of a failed cycle, another miscarriage, the fertility treatments aren't working, etc.
As someone who didn't announce a pregnancy til a month after baby was born, and a women who has been gossiped and speculated about that is "definitely pregnant" when they werent and just gained weight from birth control.
Always hate when you tell someone you don’t want kids and they have to asked you a million questions on why not. Like shit people mind your own business honestly.
When I told my cousin that I don't want kids she said "How can you say that, I'll pray that you get pregnant by accident then you'll have no choice". I was left so speechless I didn't continue the conversation.
Sort of related, sort of not but anyway. When a woman decides she does not want to have kids, and it’s a final decision that’s absolutely their choice. But it just made me think about.. what if a man has that same feeling, they do not want kids and it’s final. Then accidentally gets somebody pregnant, because you know nothing is 100% protective. Is it ok for them to decide to not be involved, because after all, a woman has options. Men don’t. So is he a deadbeat for not sticking around? I’m not sure what to think but seems unfair
My thoughts on this is that men have more options when it comes to birth control. Condoms, spermicide, and vasectomies. If a man is sure he doesn't want children then he can get a vasectomy a lot easier than a women can get that permanent birth control. A woman is basically barred from any kind of permanent birth control, even with kids in some cases. A woman's fertility is, in a lot of cases,, considered more important than their medical problems or even life. A woman who is sure she never wants kids cannot easily get her tubes tied. Even a woman who has had children, it's still very hard to get that permanent birth control. So for men, if they don't want children and are sure about it, they can go get a vasectomy fairly easily. Whereas women can't. And it's also a lot more expensive for a woman to get her tubes tied considering they have to get invasive and require more time to recover. A man can get a vasectomy for at most $1,000 if they don't have insurance and only need about a week or two to recover.
@@alchemistcannon I get what your saying. But as a 28 year old mum of 2 daughters who is so sure she is done, I would still not want to get my tubes tied right now. I don’t know, it’s just that ‘how do I know I won’t regret it in the future’ feeling. So from a very young age expecting a man to get a vasectomy is a little extreme I think.
I feel like a man should have the right to legally leave and not have any responsibility if he doesn't want to BUT there needs to be a time limit. Men shouldn't be allowed to do that when the child is 5 or 10. Maybe that decision needs to be made before birth or right after birth, before birth is better imo so the woman can choose what she wants to do
@@mdx7460 vasectemies can be reversed
@@Elowuz not with a very high chance of it being successful though so it’s a risky thing to do