Thank you for this video. I’m an amputee who cannot wear a prosthetic and am wheelchair bound. Losing my walking self has been a struggle. This was needed today. Love you both.
My father was a double amputee .. appreciate what you have my father couldn't deal with the pain so he chose alcohol and then he died...so young people enjoy life.
I totally understand the feeling of losing who you once were. I’ve been disabled since I was 28 years old. Going to be 10 years this year. I was in a wheelchair for 3 years and I’m miraculously walking again. I was once a fast and defensive basketball player and now, I’m horrible because my nerves and muscles stink. You have no idea how much I look up to you. Seriously inspiring you guys are. I hope to meet you guys. I’m not that far from L.A. (Ontario) but it’s nearly impossible for me to get there.😔 Thank you for sharing your journey with us and being so positive.❤️
@@reeburks4377 It’s a bit of a long story. I lost my ability from a medical accident. Doctor struck the wrong part of my spine basically during a procedure. I can’t begin to describe how painful that was. Everything from the waist down stopped functioning. I couldn’t even stand without falling over. After a lot of physical therapy I was able to move little by little but my balance was gone. I was told walking again would be impossible. I basically had the wheelchair behind me and a chair in front of me and I tried to get a step in. I fell countless times and I injured my knee quite a bit too. Eventually I slowly got more steps in without holding on to any rail or a walker. I used walls a lot as well. I got stronger and eventually walked without anything around. However, I looked very drunk. To this day, I have a bit of a drunk walk but it’s a lot better. Now it’s more like a limp. I have good days and bad days yet and pain can be brutal. However, I have to count my blessings. Hearing stories from people like Cole and Charisma are very uplifting. It helps to know that there’s more out there who understand.
Whew, this was a deep conversation. I lost my youngest daughter, no one wants to bring her name up. Guess they think I should go on with life, but I want her life acknowledged-at least once in a while. Thank you for being so open
Rosie, I'm so sorry about the loss of your daughter. Our family lost my 22 year old brother over 27 years ago, I was 18. My Mom feared Rich being forgotten & spoke of him constantly. My Dad in the other hand, never spoke of him, unless he was referencing Rich & I together, as "you kids"
I know I don't know you, but I would love to hear about ________! (insert her name!) What kinds of things did _______ enjoy? Was she a compassionate person? I would imagine so, given you being her Mama 💕 If it comforts you to talk about her, then you certainly should 😊 I know it helped my Mom, we all grieve in our own way. Sending you love ❤️ 💖
Aww I'm so sorry for your loss.. and yes I absolutely agree with you on that.. because trying to keep her name in the silence is like she was never here at all.. and that's just not right or far.. so yeah long live your daughter is how I see it.. and even tho it may not be physically anymore.. it's for sure spiritual.. and in all the love you had for your baby!!
I'm so sorry for your loss @Rosie S. Remember and celebrate your daughter always. Maybe you can work on a scrapbook filled with wonderful photos, memories, favorite quotes and anecdotes. Take time to face and work through your grief. Understand that sometimes others may not speak about your daughter because they might fear it will upset you, or because they are grieving too, and wrongly think that not talking about her will ease the pain. Only through facing the pain and accepting the loss can you begin to heal. Notice and observe the signs that nature often gives us when we lose a loved one. I've experienced that before in my life and I have relatives who have experienced it too, and I've read testimonies from other people about this phenomenon. It can come in many different ways, often that are subtle. A butterfly landed on my sister's hand once when she was talking to her son many years ago, sometime after she'd tragically lost her husband. Butterflies do not land on our hands and stay for moments, right? My sister saw it as a sign that her husband was letting her know she was okay, and that she would be okay carrying on, raising her two children, even as they were going through the grief of losing him in this life. Listen also to what Joe Biden said to military families about losing a loved one. He's right. Stay well. I wish you peace. 🙏🏾
Girl, do you see the way this guy looks at you? I think if he could, he would devour you. It doesn't hurt that you are so beautiful--goes well with a handsome guy. I hope the future brings you continued growth as a couple and as individuals. Keep doing those great videos.
Cole and Charisma didn’t mention the fact that they wouldn’t have met if he hadn’t gotten injured. That’s a positive! Keep on doing what you do, as it provides a lot of support for other disabled persons and their loved ones.
Hi Cole, I broke my neck when I was 18. It's now a little more than 20 years since that day and yes I totally understand and identify with that sense of losing the identity I once had. Love ya buddy, life is tough, be kind to yourself.
I was a gymnast in HS (not super competitive but I was very athletic), my senior year in HS I had persistent pain in my inner right knee. After graduation, I had exploratory surgery to see just what what going on in that joint. After that, “all hell broke loose” in my body. My hands, elbows, wrists and small joints swelled and aches. 6 mos after the surgery, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. It was decades ago, when they had very poor medicines to deal with it. I tired of using medicines that didn’t work well and managed it mostly myself with high dose of ibuprofen. I worked an office job where I had to stand for long periods, wore uncomfortable shoes, and hid (as best I could my “disability”). If a random person noticed it mentioned it, I would be horrified. For 10 years, I would not talk about it and did a lot of damage to my body. Then I met my husband and he was wonderful. Gradually, I could no longer hide it. There was a lot of freedom in accepting it. It helped to have support around me. My husband helped me let my guard down. Now, decades later, I’ve been blessed with 2 children, better health through breakthrough medications that have slowed progressive destruction of joints and surgery (in the last 10 years double hip replacements, double knee replacements, double feet surgery). I try not to feel sorry for myself. I look at my blessings and what I have. I see you, Cole and you inspire me, with Charisma at your side. It’s a journey. There are bad days, but beautiful ones, too. Blessings to you both.
@@traceykerr572 yes, thank you. I’ve been watching her dad for years I’m in my 4th decade of the disease, started when they had very poor med choices, lots of damage done, but doing well on a pill biological & I’m a stubborn old gal. 😎
In 10 months I’ve had 2 knee replacements and 2 hip replacement surgeries it’s been rough but I’m grateful to God for movement. Finances are a mess. Fighting for my house my car, my puppies need care that I need money. And of course my mental health. I’m trying. I’m trying.
@@i.i.3399 sounds like me; 9 years ago this month, I had a double hip replacement, six month later in Dec; Double Knee replacement. For me, knees were much harder. How are you?
I developed Type1 diabetes at age 12. I’m now 67. I really don’t remember what it was like not having my disease. Having an unseen chronic illness is hard because I don’t “look sick”. My disease is very hard but I’m proud of myself for maintaining it for all these years. You can’t take a break from it but you can do the best you can to manage it. You may be a different person than you would have been Cole but you wouldn’t have ever met Charisma either. God blessed you with a beautiful life in spite of what happened. 💜
I was also 12 when I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I'm now 33 so it's been 21 yrs. I honestly cannot remember what it was like to not have diabetes and not be on insulin. I tell people this all the time it's like a whole other life. Hearing you're 67 gives me hope that I can live a long life because sometimes it gets scary. I've lost family members to the disease, blindness, kidney failure and heat disease.
@@moniqueg7144 you will do great! Just do your best and take it seriously and enjoy your life. I do have some complications but the biggies like eyes and kidneys are good. Always get your yearly diabetic eye exam from an ophthalmologist as diabetes is the leading cause of blindness. You’ve got this!!
@@chrissyfoley7361 thank you so much. So far all my organs are doing great. I wear glasses since I was about 14 and my eyes haven't changed since. I always say I have diabetes, diabetes does not have me. I'm not really bothered by it even though it's difficult to manage at times. I wish you continued great health and thanks for responding. ❤❤❤
@Chrissy Foley You give me hope as well. I’ve had diabetes since I was 12. I’m now 38. It’s been challenging. The doctors also diagnosed me as a brittle diabetic also. It doesn’t take much to make my blood sugar high. I just keep trying and moving forward. I also have a spinal injury. I got hurt on the job, they wouldn’t pay. I’ve struggled but God has blessed me. Not being able to play with my son physically (running, picking him up, etc.) really gets me down. But watching these two helps and gives me inspiration.
He is handsome...she is beautiful He is strong... she is supportive He is loyal ...she is loyal too He is her.... she is his ❤️ They are just perfect 🥺
My 28 year "injureversary" with be July 13th and I'm 56 years old. It's hard to believe I will have lived half my life as a C 5/6 quadriplegic. Yeah, I'm crying right now writing this. It's hard not to feel cheated at life after losing so much. It doesn't help any when so many people refuse to look past the disability and see the person right in front of them. Thanks for the video.
I feel like I'm mourning my sister. She's alive, but she's an addict. I lost my best friend. She isn't who she was. I can relate to that feeling, morning someone who's alive . It's a different kind of sadness. Love you guys ♥️
As a female amputee, I can really understand about the grief and mourning of some part of you that has been lost. I lost my right leg when I was only 11 or 12years-old. I had to adjust my life during my teen, college and young adult years.
For me, it's more of losing something I never had. I was born with my disability, and is all I've ever known but sometimes I do wonder what my life would have looked like had I been born without a disability.
Guess what Cole. I haven't suffered any physical anything, but I'm getting old. My parents and siblings are all gone to the next phase, and I'm here, seeing my skin get a little crepey, and my body doesn't move as easily or with as much energy, and I'm feeling what you say, mourning the loss of my youthful body: ). It's OK. Life.
Arlene Maxwell Copeland: Please continue to enjoy life!! ... At least we are blessed to get old enough to get crepey skin and tons of wrinkles!! (: .. We are simply super happy to be alive and older!! .. Smile when you read this note! God Bless You Always, CC ... No more mourning young lady!! ... Rejoice!! (:
I can totally relate. We’re fortunate to be aging as so many have gone on. Cole, it’s life! You an only live for today as tomorrow is not promised. Chin up.
Charisma, when I was around your age I thought I had overactive tearducts too but it turned out to be an allergy to my eye makeup. I switched to Clinique and the tears stopped. If it persists, try hypoallergenic eye makeup.
My sister actually had a clogged tear duct so instead of draining like normal they’d come out so looked like she was crying, could be allergies or clogged. Who knows. I think the eye makeup is great advice. Definitely could be a makeup allergy
I researched 'Ambiguous Grief' a lot after my grandad had a stroke. He lost the ability to communicate verbally and that was really hard, it was like grieving the grandad we had prior to his stroke, even though he was still with us. Really needs to be talked about more because on top of that grief, I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt for grieving for someone still alive! Love you guys 🧡
When my girlfriend first met me on BIGO, she read I was disabled and still wanted to make it work with me. For me, it was love at first sight but since I have had girls lie to my face and shy away from me because of my disabilities, I got scared twice and blocked her twice. She fought to get me back. Now, we're almost 3 months into our relationship (interabled and interracial, I'm in a wheelchair with different disabilities and she's able body, I'm black and she's white) and we're madly in love with each other
It's crazy to think these beautiful souls would never meet if he wasn't paralyzed.. yes Cole, you would be an average upper middle class dude totally devoid of Charisma, a beautiful black angel 😇
Cole is a sweetheart !! Charisma truly loves him! Better yet, they're crazy about one another. You two are an amazing couple! Thanks for being a dedicated man in regards to his life & the marriage both of them so richly deserve ... Keep it up!
I can totally identify with what Cole shared in wondering what thoughts run through the minds of those meeting him for the first time as a NOW enabled individual. Because what he described, is exactly what it feels like living every day as a minority in the USA. You can never feel totally confident in how others will respond to you. You just have to be intentional in what you set out to accomplish with a positive mindset. Thanks for your transparency Cole!
Cole Sydnor you changed my life. I am 57 years old and you changed my life. In my weakest moments I try to remember your strength and draw from it. Your positivity (knowing and fully understanding you have your moments), your general outlook in life (great testament to your upbringing) SHINES THROUGH your tears. I felt your heart and I am touched. THANK YOU. You are truly appreciated ❤️
Hey , I think anyone who had a lost whether to SCI or it could be anything,my son had Sickle cell disease and got a stroke when he was 10 yrs old , he died at 16 yrs, we talk about those same topics all the time leading up to his death. I love how you and Charisma handling it right now, hopefully it’ll get better as time goes by 🙏🏾❤️I always watch you guys also he use to watch you as an inspiration .
This pains my heart....so sorry for your loss I had similiar situation I lost my son too at 16 years old. He got sick at 12....brain tumour it was left me devastated. I vividly at times saw the pain and hurt that had change his entire life. But keep the faith God is able. I am here from Jamaica sending healing love❤❤❤❤🙏🙏
This conversation is making me feel feelings I've been not wanting to deal with. I thank you though some much needed salty facial shower...lol OneLove ❣
This was a beautiful video. Cole you are so lucky to have Charisma who worked in this field and really understand s what you are feeling. You two are adorable 😍 💕
This video is inspiring to those of us who are not disabled. I know that feeling of being questioned because of some trait rather than speaking/ asking about a possible mutual interest.
I have no injuries, l have my ability, but almost in my 60, l feel l have lost my self younger. I am the different person. Life always changes year after year. I think Cole is a great person, who doesn't deny his feeling and what he lost and what he got. You are amazing people. Big 💖for you
Good SEEING you , you're a loving couple Cole you have come a long way , and in that journey you have found a wonderful wife wish you guys all the best and God's love and blessings, love you guys
I can so relate Cole! For 16 years I worked as a nurse (most of the time palliative care) and was very physical active - jogging, mountain climbing, swimming. In 2019 during an emergency back surgery (due to my work) the Spinal Cord was injured TH 9/10. I need a wheelchair - can walk a few steps on a good day. More challenging is actually the constant very strong pain (even with Morphine 3 times a day). It’s still a process to set up my independent life with nurses and more assisting now me. And also financially. My biggest wish is to be able to work a few hours again in administration. Just today I contacted a hospice Centre if they have work for me - and is accessible. It’s my biggest wish! I just need a power chair for that. Waiting for one for over four months. I still grief sometimes my old life. Old pictures are hard to look at! And still my future is very unsure. That’s why I appreciate your channel so much! To see there is a future, a good future. Thank you Cole and Charisma!!
You certainly had a profound change in your life 10 years ago. You found your beautiful wife/soul mate because of that change. I cannot tell you your gains outweigh your losses, but you can do this to validate it is so. Make a pros/advantages list and a cons/disadvantages list. One list will be twice as long as the other. Guess which one. Many blessings to you both. 🦋💞🦋
Cole, I just realized you are my son's age Wow God knows best Give him the praise You are surrounded by your loving parents, brother, and Charisma's parents who embrace you well It's ok to be emotional I got so myself, even listening to you Thank God you have Charisma at your side God Bless!
I'm nearly 4 years out from my sci, and even tho I can "sort of" walk, my depression over my lost life seems to get darker all the time. I really admire how you are dealing with this mess.
There are so many types of "privileges." Cole, I appreciate your honesty. Your daily life mirrors so much of what many people face on a daily basis because of being different or othered. It's no easy. The truth will always set you/us free. Keep naming your truth as raw as possible ALWAYS!!! Owing up to and acceptance of yourself and getting the same in return from the people in our lives is where the magic and true meaning of life resides. You and Chrisma live very meaningful lives and are always emotionally present to yourselves as individuals, each other and us because of LOVE. Thank you.
your feelings are totally normal. This year will make 25 years that I have been a quadriplegic and I'm still amazed that I have been paralyzed longer than I was walking. I got paralyzed when I was 19 years old, I am now 44 years old.I try not to reminisce on the days of being total able body because it's a totally different person and lifestyle. I don't think you have to grieve the loss of your mobility as much as you have to accept your immobility. I'm just glad people like you and I have a good support system surrounding us. Can you imagine some people who don't have anyone going through this lifestyle alone? God bless you and your union bro. #SAAAALUTE
Salute to you as well.... For the strength in what you shared in your truth's signifies a Loving Man with loving love one as your extensions of the amazing demonstration of as it should be.... Much Respect Brotha One Love!
I think it’s wonderful that Cole is comfortable enough to share his honest thoughts and emotions concerning his life before paralysis & after. I really admire Cole for successfully making the necessary adjustments so that he can have a fulfilling life with his beautiful wife and family. Thank you for sharing your thoughts as you approach your 11th anniversary of the accident. Take good care you two. God Bless.
Cole, I think that we all have a purpose in life and sometimes we serve in a way that we never thought would happen. But without a doubt you are serving a very necessary purpose more so than you ever expected. You and Charisma have certainly made a huge difference in this world we live in. On the contrary, when I was young, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. That was to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a firefighter like he was. Well, I am now 73 years old and wish I could do it all over again. So each of us has an important duty to perform. Yours is living with a disability and Charisma to be there for you, and you for her. I'm very sure that you sharing your story with so many has certainly played a huge part in others lives. God Bless You BOTH for what you do. Thank you and please continue with this very important job that you are doing.
Hi Cole and Charisma. Thank you guys so much for the willingness to talk about the emotions and not always staying positive, because it's imperative that we feel all the feelings of loss and grief when we lose who we once were. 12 years ago I became very very sick and then disabled and I live with excruciating pain all day everyday. And I look to my faith in God somehow to be there for me to help me get through what I have to get through every day. However to be quite honest sometimes it's so challenging and agonizing I just can't believe what I used to do and what I do now which is nothing. I have a service dog and he's my best friend and without him I don't know what would come of my world. You guys always make me excited when you upload a video. I love the two of you together. God has blessed you with each other. I understand Cole because you look back and see all the things you used to do so easily and those things are no more a part of your life. thank you both for sharing openly and honestly. Much love to the two of you.
God Bless You 🙏❤. Chronic non stop pain is horrible. Mine started 7 years ago because of New Onset of Pelvic Neuropathy, Sacralilitis and Osteoarthritis. That's when I just couldn't be on my feet or sit for long and my doctors took me out of work. I'm 59 and had worked since age 13 so I went into a deep depression. I always pictured my second half of Life enjoying my Nursing Career, starting to learn how to run marathons, etc because my kids would be grown (35 & 24 now). Since then with psychotherapy and God I'm so Grateful and so Blessed. I'm Alive!!! I have so much more to my Life than so many others Suffering that I have NO Reason to Complain (not just materialistic). Including still having my 84 and 94 year old Parents Alive and Moving in with them and being with then 24-7. So many people Wish They Could Have Just One More Moment With Their Parents and here I am Living The Dream!!!! I have a sad down day every so often but I turn it around fast. Then I watch Cole and Charisma and Feel Even More Blessed that my disability didn't start until I was in my second half of life, what a gift!!!! It's hard when I park in the Handicapped Parking with My Pass in the windshield and people look at me funny like I'm not handicapped but I've learned to ignore their ignorance because they don't know my story. My biggest and best Medicine is that I Smile ALOT!!!! It Truly Releases Good Endorphins In Our Body. Again God Bless You 🙌 and Hugs & Love from Western Upstate New York 💚.
I believe it's so important to celebrate "Survivorversery " I just celebrated 4 years of Cancer free and 28 years brain tumor survivorversery. First, I have to say the love you guys have for each other is amazing. I wanted to inquire if Cole feels pain or anything with the spasms? spasms are so painful, but is it different for him? And Charmisa you're gorgeous! but Sis you may want to get your eyes checked, esp if it doesn't stop watering. Not saying this is happening to you, but you could have overproductive tears, and that can cause dry eyes. They have tear duct plugs and drops to assist with that. I So LOVE this channel.
I truly appreciate this conversation it's one that definitely needs to be had and maybe we won't have a lot of suicides if we talk more openly about these things I know at 22 I lost my eyesight which was my freedom and now I have to depend on other people you do lose you I don't know if you can understand that maybe the thought of what I want it as a career versus what I'm doing now it does change things through all of that haven't thought about that in years something that is not talked about and you do have to suck a lot of it up and try to get through it but it sucks sometimes and those days you have to remember your support system and you're not alone I love this conversation thanks for bringing it up♥️♥️♥️🙏🙏
I remember watching your videos for the first time but I was intrigued at how Charisma does things and how cole is able to carry on with doing normal things... but after a while I stopped watching with curiosity because it blocked me from seeing a beautiful couple and enjoying your content.The minute I stopped that I fell in love with your authenticity. I even forget sometimes that Cole is in a wheelchair because that is not important. This has also helped me look at disabled people in a new way, not feeling sorry for them but look at their personality. I really hope I'm making sense. I love your channel and Thank you for sharing your lives with us. May God abundantly bless you.
Cole you are so good looking with beautiful eyes that after a person gets pass that, your disability is last especially if they were greeting you for the first time ☺️❤️😊
I like this video so much. Two days ago I honestly was laying down on my bed wondering what my life would be like if I wasn’t born with a disability. I honestly can’t imagine life without my disability I know weird to say. And Cole I absolutely understand what u are talking about when u meeting people for the First time I have very high anxiety because every time I meet someone they always ask me about my disability
It is definitely okay to grieve; it's a natural process, and shouldn't be held in. Let yourself feel whatever emotion happens and ride that wave at that time. God bless you both, praying for you. Staying positive! ❤️
I agree, it's totally OK to grieve. So proud of the both of you guys. You are making a difference. Sometimes life is just that bittersweet. Charisma I could see you as a therapist.
I just love you both. This video will definitely benefit many who watch it. There's life after tragedy. Cole proves it every day. Continued blessings to you both!
hi guys, Cole I’m a nurse and I’ve seen some quads that cant’ do half of what you are able to do. I can imagine that you have your down days and I understand that but you have accomplished so much, you’re married to a beautiful, intelligent woman who loves you, you do a lot to help yourself and never give up, more improvement is coming your way, I love you guys.
Just found your channel a week ago and finished majority of your videos .It's okay to express negative feelings as Charisma said ,once they are released they don't possess the same negative hormonal strength as they do before. Piled up and unexpressed emotions just find uglier and unhealthy ways/behaviour to express it. I was like 15 when I felt into the deadly hands of depression ,which a year later transformed into bipolar disorder. I used to be very introverted,ambitious, intelligent and smart in nature.My academic achievements were like miracles for my parents.I was a complete bookworm and finished books a year before getting into that class. Everyone whose once knew me told my parents how fortunate and lucky they were to have me as their child but my addiction to books and knowledge costed me my whole mental health and personality. Now I feel like my previous reading, understanding, processing, thinking and intellectual abilities were a luxury and now I have lost it. I am still in my late teens and it just feels painful to look back like there's always a question or painful thought that everything would have been very different if didn't happened to me.By this time I would have been studying in medical school .It hurts like hell and I can't do anything to change it.And by that I can imagine that any form of acquired disability is way more painful than inherited one. Lots of love from INDIA 🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳
Cole I was diagnosed with RSD/CRPS 15 years ago. The nickname for RSD is called the suicide disease. 17 plus people end their own suffering everyday from RSD. I'm in mindbending screaming pain and suffering. But yet I won't throw in the towel or give up. My husband divorced me, my family and friends left me. But yet I I have thousands of hours for encouragement to give to others. Please always remember whips and chains can beat your brain but if train you will gain. Our minds are powerful to get through anything and everything that tries to pick and pull us apart.
Yes, I totally understand Cole and Charisma, it is called maturing and growing up. You are a mighty man of God and seeing where God has brought you from inspite of it all. It is like that scripture that says weeping may endure for a night but Joy comes in the morning!!!. Been through a lot, but God has set you on top. It doesn't always feel that way, however, but He has brought you to a better place. Wisdom is allowing you to see it, I am experiencing changes, because I have Arthritis, very, painful and I am not 22 anymore. I wonder some of the same things, but God in His grace and mercy, has blessed me to wake up every morning and thank Him for loving me, in spite of myself. You two are some of the mightiest people I have ever met on You Tube. Haven't seen you in a while, but be blessed and prosper in Him, and God will take you further.
I so appreciate you both sharing your lives with us. Cole, You are in no way average. Here's a quote on grief you may appreciate: "I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process. It needs not a map but a history, and if I don't stop writing that history at some quite arbitrary point, there's no reason why I should ever stop. There is something new to be chronicled every day. Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed Sending my love to you both ♥️
Hey friends. I work in a hospital that rehabs people with spinal cord injuries and I thank God for you both putting hope into the hearts of people going through their most challenging moments in life so far. They deserve to hear truth & you give it to them with love. Thank you
the way you feel Cole about mobility ,people can feel that with old age ....the mind can stay young but the body becomes limited ......the best thing to do is try to adapt all along to the things that you CAN do ......your planning abilities are what you are very strong in now ...keep on giving us your life experience ..you and Chrisma are change makers
I hear ya, Cole. Each year on my comaversary (2020) I mentally go through it all over again until my discharge date. The first year was absolutely brutal. This year I noticed it didn't mentally debilitate me as much, but it's still there.
I was diagnosed with Meniere’s Disease and it changed my life. The 24/7 balance issues I deal with has made me life difficult. This morning with pressure system changes I was slammed with it. I cried and cursed this horrible disease. I felt better after. It’s good to let it out. To curse it. To hate it and to cry for what you have lost. I loved this video. I missed these personal videos. God bless both of you.
God knows the best bro. It’s good to grief about your past injuries to relieve your burden. Cole, don’t forget to count your blessing and lay them one by one. Your disability is just a bend not an end. Even in your disability God is still saying something positive in your life. God will still perfect all that concerns you in your disability. I didn’t see your disability because all l see is a good looking tall Man who was blessed to have Charisma, a lovely Angel for a wife and surrounded with a lovely family. Keep been your real self for you are not alone Cole.
You hit the nail on the head with lots of things. I have been fighting cancer for sometime now and I feel everyday I’ve lost who I use to be too. I have to be aware of everything I’m doing and know my limit’s. If I don’t sometimes for days after I’ll be in so much pain I can’t leave my chair. Other times it’s instant and drops me to my knees. Before my diagnosis I had my own business worked very hard for everything I had. Start my days getting my children ready and off to school. Go to work til school was out. Talk about our days have dinner then off to sports with games and on weekends too. Sometimes even going back to work and home in time to put my kids to bed. I was a very active mother and very involved. We snowboard together, football, baseball, traveled always on the go. We all loved it all!! Then my treatments came and slowed me down. I turned weak, tired, sick and lots more. This past December I bought a Motorhome and have been traveling the USA with my children. Pushing past all the hurt and pain and making core memories to last us our lifetime! No way am I gonna sit down an let cancer take away my our happiness! There is times like you’ve said cole where you look back and see the old you. When those times come I choose to make them just moments and feel my feelings but shortly after dust off and keep moving forward. I try to everyday make the most out of the time god has given me and what I fight for to watch my children grow. God bless you both!
You remind me of the time when I held back my emotions about what kids in my school did to me; when I drowned my feelings about it in my homework and whatever else I did. It *had* to get at some point, which happened when I was going through another school. Although it was not a good school, I am grateful for the peace I felt there.
I think it is the best thing for you to express your feelings of joy and sadness whenever you can. You should remain proud of the man you are now and all you have achieved!
💞✨Packing a punch Cole and Charisma. The sheer enormity of this discussion and subject matter is far reaching, multi layered and important to support your focused realisation, finding alignment within yourself and your individual journey. Expressing your thoughts, even those which may be challenging, helps you and multiple others with the deepest questions which may be dormant or unanswered, including coming to terms with where you were and now are, at this point. I found your video, candid, holistic and enlightening. Your vulnerability brings greater connections and deeper appreciation of you👏💗
Hello to Cole and Charisma (my favorite couple) from sunny Barbados and thanks to Cole for being so honest with sharing your emotions. As another Taurean that’s how we are. Since discovering your channel I say a prayer for you quite often and this is from a 70 year old grandma.
Everything you shared Cole is normal...of course you feel & know loss & mourning & grieving is necessary & it will pop up at times when you least expect it. The body remembers trauma! You're doing great!
Thank you for this video. Cole I am proud of you for who you are and how much you have grown over these last 11 years. I am not paralyzed but I do have spinal cord compression injuries in three parts of my spine and the pain is bad and it is hard sometimes. Your videos help me and loads of others and I am personally grateful that you and the lovely Charisma make them for us..
Hi Cole and CHRISMA thank you all for this video.Cole what you saying I understand because I have a chronic lumber injury that thru years negatively affect my lower body and I start feeling not so good hurting with an on the job injury and fighting worker comp about my needs and their sending me to their doctors who says what workers comp want to hear over what several independent doctors findings. So image not feeling well and having to fight like HELL to get what you need from company that caused your injury. Cole I smile an am Thankful for you that you have a loving caring family and OH SO LOVING BEAUTIFUL wife and GOD HAS ALLOWED YOU TO DO EVEN MORE AND MOR for your self. Cole you do more than the average non injured individual.You are very HANDSOME,tall,smart and seem to enjoy life and guy that is a BLESSING.I know you may have some days of what if BUT GOD GOT YOU. even my not knowing you personally am THANKFUL,GRATEFUL and you give people HOPE injured or non injured.Thank you all so much for sharing your life.BELIEVE YOU GIVE HOPE,GOD KEPT YOU HERE FOR A REASON(I am crying)Cole it could have been worst,.we all have our moments,BUT GOD IS AWESOME.LOVE YOU ALL,KEEP ON KEEPING ON.❤️🌹
Cole and Charisma, please always continue to share your life with us. You make so many people super happy and really enjoy their lives!! .. You two are definitely most inspirational in so many ways!! .. You make us laugh, smile and feel joyful no matter what condition we are in!! .. LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH! .. God Bless You Always, CC
I became disabled after accomplishing what I had gone to college for and owning my own business, things were just where I wanted them and my world stopped. I totally understand your grief. You have become an amazing person even though it’s different then who you were going to be. You make a huge difference in my life with your positivity.
Cole I just love when you share about your disability and your accident 11yrs ago I love to hear you talk about what you can do since your accident you have come a long way and many accomplishments in your life but the most things is that you didn't give up on life and plus you have a beautiful wife (Charisma)in your corner and she always in your corner and I love when you try new thing to do in life that what up and never stop trying new thing to do because you are still a person and you can do anything you want in life you got it love you both and remember stay positive ♥️
Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable. You both have a lot of emotional intelligence and that will help you grow into where ever life takes you. Happiness and good health to you both.
Hey there you beautiful couple... 💛 I think you'll should go around and film stories of you interviewing other Beautiful individuals who have experienced the same situation as you Cole...my friend...I think it would have a huge impact of helping others cope!! I Love..absolutely love the way you've kept pushing forward even though I'm sure there's been times you've felt like you couldn't 💛 Hugs and Love from Illinois!!!
I understand grieving for your old self and old life Cole. I understand completely. I’ve lost SO much, so many different things and people all at the same time. I’m starting my life over but I’m still grieving all of it sometimes. It’s hard to believe that I experienced what I did but it’s also great that God loved so much to give me the strength to keep going and to begin again. He shows me that he loves me everyday. - I commend you Cole and Charisma for all of your confidence, bravery and commitment to living your best life! Your hope, compassion and pleasant demeanor inspires so many people. You two were made for this. 👏🏾👏🏻👏💗🙏🏼🙏🙏🏿👨🦽🧍🏾♀️🏆🌹
Your channel just showed on my wall for no reasons. I watched 1 video, and another video, and so on, until 2am. I still have to go to work at 8:30am. THANK YOU. Such an inspiration!
One thing i love about you Cole you are strong you are an inspiration and your beautiful wife always by side your and that makes you even more happy and stronger too ..and i know you are going to grow old together Stay Postive
Charisma looks like a doll, she was fit to be your wife she has an understanding of Cole with true love 💕
Charisma IS a doll!
i agree 100% it as if she was born to be Cole angel
Thank you for this video. I’m an amputee who cannot wear a prosthetic and am wheelchair bound. Losing my walking self has been a struggle. This was needed today. Love you both.
Sending you so much love!
My father was a double amputee .. appreciate what you have my father couldn't deal with the pain so he chose alcohol and then he died...so young people enjoy life.
I totally understand the feeling of losing who you once were. I’ve been disabled since I was 28 years old. Going to be 10 years this year. I was in a wheelchair for 3 years and I’m miraculously walking again. I was once a fast and defensive basketball player and now, I’m horrible because my nerves and muscles stink. You have no idea how much I look up to you. Seriously inspiring you guys are. I hope to meet you guys. I’m not that far from L.A. (Ontario) but it’s nearly impossible for me to get there.😔 Thank you for sharing your journey with us and being so positive.❤️
How did you start walking again
Stay strong friend. OneLove ❣
@@reeburks4377 It’s a bit of a long story. I lost my ability from a medical accident. Doctor struck the wrong part of my spine basically during a procedure. I can’t begin to describe how painful that was. Everything from the waist down stopped functioning. I couldn’t even stand without falling over. After a lot of physical therapy I was able to move little by little but my balance was gone. I was told walking again would be impossible. I basically had the wheelchair behind me and a chair in front of me and I tried to get a step in. I fell countless times and I injured my knee quite a bit too. Eventually I slowly got more steps in without holding on to any rail or a walker. I used walls a lot as well. I got stronger and eventually walked without anything around. However, I looked very drunk. To this day, I have a bit of a drunk walk but it’s a lot better. Now it’s more like a limp. I have good days and bad days yet and pain can be brutal. However, I have to count my blessings. Hearing stories from people like Cole and Charisma are very uplifting. It helps to know that there’s more out there who understand.
Bless you Julie Vander Leest
Why is it impossible for you to get to LA? I live In Ontario myself and I would be happy to take you if they happen to see your comment 🥰
he is 6'3! Cole really is a stud! and his disability doesn't lessen the powerful impact he has on the world.
Whew, this was a deep conversation. I lost my youngest daughter, no one wants to bring her name up. Guess they think I should go on with life, but I want her life acknowledged-at least once in a while. Thank you for being so open
Rosie, I'm so sorry about the loss of your daughter. Our family lost my 22 year old brother over 27 years ago, I was 18. My Mom feared Rich being forgotten & spoke of him constantly. My Dad in the other hand, never spoke of him, unless he was referencing Rich & I together, as "you kids"
I know I don't know you, but I would love to hear about ________! (insert her name!) What kinds of things did _______ enjoy? Was she a compassionate person? I would imagine so, given you being her Mama 💕 If it comforts you to talk about her, then you certainly should 😊 I know it helped my Mom, we all grieve in our own way. Sending you love ❤️ 💖
Rosie keep the Faith. I'm still talking about my loss of my murdered family member. Keep the faith
Aww I'm so sorry for your loss.. and yes I absolutely agree with you on that.. because trying to keep her name in the silence is like she was never here at all.. and that's just not right or far.. so yeah long live your daughter is how I see it.. and even tho it may not be physically anymore.. it's for sure spiritual.. and in all the love you had for your baby!!
I'm so sorry for your loss @Rosie S. Remember and celebrate your daughter always. Maybe you can work on a scrapbook filled with wonderful photos, memories, favorite quotes and anecdotes. Take time to face and work through your grief. Understand that sometimes others may not speak about your daughter because they might fear it will upset you, or because they are grieving too, and wrongly think that not talking about her will ease the pain. Only through facing the pain and accepting the loss can you begin to heal. Notice and observe the signs that nature often gives us when we lose a loved one. I've experienced that before in my life and I have relatives who have experienced it too, and I've read testimonies from other people about this phenomenon. It can come in many different ways, often that are subtle. A butterfly landed on my sister's hand once when she was talking to her son many years ago, sometime after she'd tragically lost her husband. Butterflies do not land on our hands and stay for moments, right? My sister saw it as a sign that her husband was letting her know she was okay, and that she would be okay carrying on, raising her two children, even as they were going through the grief of losing him in this life. Listen also to what Joe Biden said to military families about losing a loved one. He's right. Stay well. I wish you peace. 🙏🏾
Girl, do you see the way this guy looks at you? I think if he could, he would devour you. It doesn't hurt that you are so beautiful--goes well with a handsome guy. I hope the future brings you continued growth as a couple and as individuals. Keep doing those great videos.
I see two people as one, simply lost in love and it's a beauuutiful look on them.... I'm always inspired and uplifted when I watch!
Cole and Charisma didn’t mention the fact that they wouldn’t have met if he hadn’t gotten injured. That’s a positive! Keep on doing what you do, as it provides a lot of support for other disabled persons and their loved ones.
I was thinking the same thing But, she has said it in other videos I've seen in the past. Especially concerning the injurversary. 😆
Hi Cole, I broke my neck when I was 18. It's now a little more than 20 years since that day and yes I totally understand and identify with that sense of losing the identity I once had. Love ya buddy, life is tough, be kind to yourself.
I was a gymnast in HS (not super competitive but I was very athletic), my senior year in HS I had persistent pain in my inner right knee. After graduation, I had exploratory surgery to see just what what going on in that joint. After that, “all hell broke loose” in my body. My hands, elbows, wrists and small joints swelled and aches. 6 mos after the surgery, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. It was decades ago, when they had very poor medicines to deal with it. I tired of using medicines that didn’t work well and managed it mostly myself with high dose of ibuprofen. I worked an office job where I had to stand for long periods, wore uncomfortable shoes, and hid (as best I could my “disability”). If a random person noticed it mentioned it, I would be horrified. For 10 years, I would not talk about it and did a lot of damage to my body. Then I met my husband and he was wonderful. Gradually, I could no longer hide it. There was a lot of freedom in accepting it. It helped to have support around me. My husband helped me let my guard down. Now, decades later, I’ve been blessed with 2 children, better health through breakthrough medications that have slowed progressive destruction of joints and surgery (in the last 10 years double hip replacements, double knee replacements, double feet surgery). I try not to feel sorry for myself. I look at my blessings and what I have. I see you, Cole and you inspire me, with Charisma at your side. It’s a journey. There are bad days, but beautiful ones, too. Blessings to you both.
P
P
Have you seen mikala Peterson’s talk on her RA and diet. Extreme but helped her
@@traceykerr572 yes, thank you. I’ve been watching her dad for years I’m in my 4th decade of the disease, started when they had very poor med choices, lots of damage done, but doing well on a pill biological & I’m a stubborn old gal. 😎
In 10 months I’ve had 2 knee replacements and 2 hip replacement surgeries it’s been rough but I’m grateful to God for movement. Finances are a mess. Fighting for my house my car, my puppies need care that I need money. And of course my mental health. I’m trying. I’m trying.
@@i.i.3399 sounds like me; 9 years ago this month, I had a double hip replacement, six month later in Dec; Double Knee replacement. For me, knees were much harder. How are you?
I developed Type1 diabetes at age 12. I’m now 67. I really don’t remember what it was like not having my disease. Having an unseen chronic illness is hard because I don’t “look sick”. My disease is very hard but I’m proud of myself for maintaining it for all these years. You can’t take a break from it but you can do the best you can to manage it. You may be a different person than you would have been Cole but you wouldn’t have ever met Charisma either. God blessed you with a beautiful life in spite of what happened. 💜
honest cole
I was also 12 when I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I'm now 33 so it's been 21 yrs. I honestly cannot remember what it was like to not have diabetes and not be on insulin. I tell people this all the time it's like a whole other life. Hearing you're 67 gives me hope that I can live a long life because sometimes it gets scary. I've lost family members to the disease, blindness, kidney failure and heat disease.
@@moniqueg7144 you will do great! Just do your best and take it seriously and enjoy your life. I do have some complications but the biggies like eyes and kidneys are good. Always get your yearly diabetic eye exam from an ophthalmologist as diabetes is the leading cause of blindness. You’ve got this!!
@@chrissyfoley7361 thank you so much. So far all my organs are doing great. I wear glasses since I was about 14 and my eyes haven't changed since. I always say I have diabetes, diabetes does not have me. I'm not really bothered by it even though it's difficult to manage at times. I wish you continued great health and thanks for responding. ❤❤❤
@Chrissy Foley You give me hope as well. I’ve had diabetes since I was 12. I’m now 38. It’s been challenging. The doctors also diagnosed me as a brittle diabetic also. It doesn’t take much to make my blood sugar high. I just keep trying and moving forward. I also have a spinal injury. I got hurt on the job, they wouldn’t pay. I’ve struggled but God has blessed me. Not being able to play with my son physically (running, picking him up, etc.) really gets me down. But watching these two helps and gives me inspiration.
He is handsome...she is beautiful
He is strong... she is supportive
He is loyal ...she is loyal too
He is her.... she is his ❤️
They are just perfect 🥺
❤
Love ur poem...lovely❤
Love ur poem
My 28 year "injureversary" with be July 13th and I'm 56 years old. It's hard to believe I will have lived half my life as a C 5/6 quadriplegic. Yeah, I'm crying right now writing this. It's hard not to feel cheated at life after losing so much. It doesn't help any when so many people refuse to look past the disability and see the person right in front of them. Thanks for the video.
❤ from Namibia🥰
❤️
Hi How I Roll. I'm sorry 🙏🏾.
We SEE YOU!
Keep going forward grief will knock us down and up we go again. Peace
I feel like I'm mourning my sister. She's alive, but she's an addict. I lost my best friend. She isn't who she was. I can relate to that feeling, morning someone who's alive . It's a different kind of sadness. Love you guys ♥️
Very true. I've been dealing with this with a parent who's addicted. It hurts.
@@gerald4535 same here
@sandra I feel you. Same with me (sister issue)
@Gerald same here, it's really hard ...
As a female amputee, I can really understand about the grief and mourning of some part of you that has been lost. I lost my right leg when I was only 11 or 12years-old. I had to adjust my life during my teen, college and young adult years.
For me, it's more of losing something I never had. I was born with my disability, and is all I've ever known but sometimes I do wonder what my life would have looked like had I been born without a disability.
Guess what Cole. I haven't suffered any physical anything, but I'm getting old. My parents and siblings are all gone to the next phase, and I'm here, seeing my skin get a little crepey, and my body doesn't move as easily or with as much energy, and I'm feeling what you say, mourning the loss of my youthful body: ). It's OK. Life.
I totally understand too because I mourn my youthful body...wow ...life
Arlene Maxwell Copeland: Please continue to enjoy life!! ... At least we are blessed to get old enough to get crepey skin and tons of wrinkles!! (: .. We are simply super happy to be alive and older!! .. Smile when you read this note! God Bless You Always, CC ... No more mourning young lady!! ... Rejoice!! (:
I can totally relate. We’re fortunate to be aging as so many have gone on. Cole, it’s life! You an only live for today as tomorrow is not promised. Chin up.
Hugs
Charisma, when I was around your age I thought I had overactive tearducts too but it turned out to be an allergy to my eye makeup. I switched to Clinique and the tears stopped. If it persists, try hypoallergenic eye makeup.
Charisma may need to take allergy eye drops, or even see the opthalmologist.
I agree. Everybody is different. For me it was dry eyes and I needed to moisturize my eyes using tear drops. Problem Solved!!!
My sister actually had a clogged tear duct so instead of draining like normal they’d come out so looked like she was crying, could be allergies or clogged. Who knows. I think the eye makeup is great advice. Definitely could be a makeup allergy
You’re beautiful humans and are so blessed to be with eachother. ❤️
Cole and Charisma you are a positive impact on millions of lives. Remember when one door closes another door opens wide. STAY POSITIVE
I researched 'Ambiguous Grief' a lot after my grandad had a stroke. He lost the ability to communicate verbally and that was really hard, it was like grieving the grandad we had prior to his stroke, even though he was still with us.
Really needs to be talked about more because on top of that grief, I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt for grieving for someone still alive!
Love you guys 🧡
When my girlfriend first met me on BIGO, she read I was disabled and still wanted to make it work with me. For me, it was love at first sight but since I have had girls lie to my face and shy away from me because of my disabilities, I got scared twice and blocked her twice. She fought to get me back. Now, we're almost 3 months into our relationship (interabled and interracial, I'm in a wheelchair with different disabilities and she's able body, I'm black and she's white) and we're madly in love with each other
That’s so Awesome you deserve it! Love consults conquers all.
Hugs
@@queenpeanut4383 thank you very much. I'm so in love with her
@@martharinebiseko1457 double hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗
It's crazy to think these beautiful souls would never meet if he wasn't paralyzed.. yes Cole, you would be an average upper middle class dude totally devoid of Charisma, a beautiful black angel 😇
Middle-class, not upper Middle-class
Why couldn't she be just an angel. We see what color she is.
Cole is a sweetheart !! Charisma truly loves him! Better yet, they're crazy about one another. You two are an amazing couple! Thanks for being a dedicated man in regards to his life & the marriage both of them so richly deserve ... Keep it up!
I can totally identify with what Cole shared in wondering what thoughts run through the minds of those meeting him for the first time as a NOW enabled individual. Because what he described, is exactly what it feels like living every day as a minority in the USA. You can never feel totally confident in how others will respond to you. You just have to be intentional in what you set out to accomplish with a positive mindset. Thanks for your transparency Cole!
Hi Cole and Charisma I am so happy to be here with you all . After all these years I think of you as part of my family. ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
It’s nice to hear how you have dealt with your injury. Charisma is your soul mate , and you’re you are hers.
Cole Sydnor you changed my life. I am 57 years old and you changed my life. In my weakest moments I try to remember your strength and draw from it. Your positivity (knowing and fully understanding you have your moments), your general outlook in life (great testament to your upbringing) SHINES THROUGH your tears. I felt your heart and I am touched. THANK YOU. You are truly appreciated ❤️
This is just an overwhelming video. Shakespearean, profoundly inspiring, not a single superfluous word, so moving, revealing, helpful, and loving.
You've said it yes 👏!
Hey , I think anyone who had a lost whether to SCI or it could be anything,my son had Sickle cell disease and got a stroke when he was 10 yrs old , he died at 16 yrs, we talk about those same topics all the time leading up to his death. I love how you and Charisma handling it right now, hopefully it’ll get better as time goes by 🙏🏾❤️I always watch you guys also he use to watch you as an inspiration .
I'm sorry you're going through the pain of losing your son.Sending love your way. ❤️
I'm very sorry for your loss
I'm sorry for your loss...
This pains my heart....so sorry for your loss I had similiar situation I lost my son too at 16 years old. He got sick at 12....brain tumour it was left me devastated. I vividly at times saw the pain and hurt that had change his entire life. But keep the faith God is able. I am here from Jamaica sending healing love❤❤❤❤🙏🙏
This conversation is making me feel feelings I've been not wanting to deal with. I thank you though some much needed salty facial shower...lol OneLove ❣
Artificial tears may help with the tearing 👍🏾
This was a beautiful video. Cole you are so lucky to have Charisma who worked in this field and really understand s what you are feeling. You two are adorable 😍 💕
A very powerful video, thank you for this
This video is inspiring to those of us who are not disabled. I know that feeling of being questioned because of some trait rather than speaking/ asking about a possible mutual interest.
I have no injuries, l have my ability, but almost in my 60, l feel l have lost my self younger. I am the different person. Life always changes year after year. I think Cole is a great person, who doesn't deny his feeling and what he lost and what he got. You are amazing people. Big 💖for you
Wow! Cole, you are an amazing person. With an amazing wife. Love you, guys!
Good SEEING you , you're a loving couple Cole you have come a long way , and in that journey you have found a wonderful wife wish you guys all the best and God's love and blessings, love you guys
I can so relate Cole! For 16 years I worked as a nurse (most of the time palliative care) and was very physical active - jogging, mountain climbing, swimming. In 2019 during an emergency back surgery (due to my work) the Spinal Cord was injured TH 9/10. I need a wheelchair - can walk a few steps on a good day. More challenging is actually the constant very strong pain (even with Morphine 3 times a day). It’s still a process to set up my independent life with nurses and more assisting now me. And also financially. My biggest wish is to be able to work a few hours again in administration. Just today I contacted a hospice Centre if they have work for me - and is accessible. It’s my biggest wish! I just need a power chair for that. Waiting for one for over four months. I still grief sometimes my old life. Old pictures are hard to look at! And still my future is very unsure. That’s why I appreciate your channel so much! To see there is a future, a good future. Thank you Cole and Charisma!!
You certainly had a profound change in your life 10 years ago. You found your beautiful wife/soul mate because of that change. I cannot tell you your gains outweigh your losses, but you can do this to validate it is so. Make a pros/advantages list and a cons/disadvantages list. One list will be twice as long as the other. Guess which one.
Many blessings to you both. 🦋💞🦋
Cole, I just realized you are my son's age
Wow
God knows best
Give him the praise
You are surrounded by your loving parents, brother, and Charisma's parents who embrace you well
It's ok to be emotional
I got so myself, even listening to you
Thank God you have Charisma at your side
God Bless!
I'm nearly 4 years out from my sci, and even tho I can "sort of" walk, my depression over my lost life seems to get darker all the time. I really admire how you are dealing with this mess.
Your accident brought the two of you together. And you share so much love. But I understand what Cole is expressing. Bless you are together.💕.
There are so many types of "privileges."
Cole, I appreciate your honesty. Your daily life mirrors so much of what many people face on a daily basis because of being different or othered. It's no easy. The truth will always set you/us free. Keep naming your truth as raw as possible ALWAYS!!! Owing up to and acceptance of yourself and getting the same in return from the people in our lives is where the magic and true meaning of life resides.
You and Chrisma live very meaningful lives and are always emotionally present to yourselves as individuals, each other and us because of LOVE. Thank you.
your feelings are totally normal. This year will make 25 years that I have been a quadriplegic and I'm still amazed that I have been paralyzed longer than I was walking. I got paralyzed when I was 19 years old, I am now 44 years old.I try not to reminisce on the days of being total able body because it's a totally different person and lifestyle. I don't think you have to grieve the loss of your mobility as much as you have to accept your immobility. I'm just glad people like you and I have a good support system surrounding us. Can you imagine some people who don't have anyone going through this lifestyle alone? God bless you and your union bro. #SAAAALUTE
Salute to you as well....
For the strength in what you shared in your truth's signifies a Loving Man with loving love one as your extensions of the amazing demonstration of as it should be....
Much Respect Brotha
One Love!
@@mrscunningham3729 I appreciate the kind words, I promise you they didn't land on deaf ears. #Blessings
I think it’s wonderful that Cole is comfortable enough to share his honest thoughts and emotions concerning his life before paralysis & after. I really admire Cole for successfully making the necessary adjustments so that he can have a fulfilling life with his beautiful wife and family. Thank you for sharing your thoughts as you approach your 11th anniversary of the accident. Take good care you two. God Bless.
Proud of you Cole you have not let your disability define you. You have wonderful
Cole, I think that we all have a purpose in life and sometimes we serve in a way that we never thought would happen. But without a doubt you are serving a very necessary purpose more so than you ever expected. You and Charisma have certainly made a huge difference in this world we live in. On the contrary, when I was young, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. That was to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a firefighter like he was. Well, I am now 73 years old and wish I could do it all over again. So each of us has an important duty to perform. Yours is living with a disability and Charisma to be there for you, and you for her. I'm very sure that you sharing your story with so many has certainly played a huge part in others lives. God Bless You BOTH for what you do. Thank you and please continue with this very important job that you are doing.
Hi Cole and Charisma. Thank you guys so much for the willingness to talk about the emotions and not always staying positive, because it's imperative that we feel all the feelings of loss and grief when we lose who we once were. 12 years ago I became very very sick and then disabled and I live with excruciating pain all day everyday. And I look to my faith in God somehow to be there for me to help me get through what I have to get through every day. However to be quite honest sometimes it's so challenging and agonizing I just can't believe what I used to do and what I do now which is nothing. I have a service dog and he's my best friend and without him I don't know what would come of my world. You guys always make me excited when you upload a video. I love the two of you together. God has blessed you with each other. I understand Cole because you look back and see all the things you used to do so easily and those things are no more a part of your life. thank you both for sharing openly and honestly. Much love to the two of you.
God Bless You 🙏❤. Chronic non stop pain is horrible. Mine started 7 years ago because of New Onset of Pelvic Neuropathy, Sacralilitis and Osteoarthritis. That's when I just couldn't be on my feet or sit for long and my doctors took me out of work. I'm 59 and had worked since age 13 so I went into a deep depression. I always pictured my second half of Life enjoying my Nursing Career, starting to learn how to run marathons, etc because my kids would be grown (35 & 24 now). Since then with psychotherapy and God I'm so Grateful and so Blessed. I'm Alive!!! I have so much more to my Life than so many others Suffering that I have NO Reason to Complain (not just materialistic). Including still having my 84 and 94 year old Parents Alive and Moving in with them and being with then 24-7. So many people Wish They Could Have Just One More Moment With Their Parents and here I am Living The Dream!!!! I have a sad down day every so often but I turn it around fast. Then I watch Cole and Charisma and Feel Even More Blessed that my disability didn't start until I was in my second half of life, what a gift!!!! It's hard when I park in the Handicapped Parking with My Pass in the windshield and people look at me funny like I'm not handicapped but I've learned to ignore their ignorance because they don't know my story. My biggest and best Medicine is that I Smile ALOT!!!! It Truly Releases Good Endorphins In Our Body. Again God Bless You 🙌 and Hugs & Love from Western Upstate New York 💚.
I believe it's so important to celebrate "Survivorversery " I just celebrated 4 years of Cancer free and 28 years brain tumor survivorversery. First, I have to say the love you guys have for each other is amazing. I wanted to inquire if Cole feels pain or anything with the spasms? spasms are so painful, but is it different for him? And Charmisa you're gorgeous! but Sis you may want to get your eyes checked, esp if it doesn't stop watering. Not saying this is happening to you, but you could have overproductive tears, and that can cause dry eyes. They have tear duct plugs and drops to assist with that. I So LOVE this channel.
Cole you may have lost a bit of yourself but at least you found Charisma who will be there for you every step of your new way of living.
I truly appreciate this conversation it's one that definitely needs to be had and maybe we won't have a lot of suicides if we talk more openly about these things I know at 22 I lost my eyesight which was my freedom and now I have to depend on other people you do lose you I don't know if you can understand that maybe the thought of what I want it as a career versus what I'm doing now it does change things through all of that haven't thought about that in years something that is not talked about and you do have to suck a lot of it up and try to get through it but it sucks sometimes and those days you have to remember your support system and you're not alone I love this conversation thanks for bringing it up♥️♥️♥️🙏🙏
I remember watching your videos for the first time but I was intrigued at how Charisma does things and how cole is able to carry on with doing normal things... but after a while I stopped watching with curiosity because it blocked me from seeing a beautiful couple and enjoying your content.The minute I stopped that I fell in love with your authenticity. I even forget sometimes that Cole is in a wheelchair because that is not important. This has also helped me look at disabled people in a new way, not feeling sorry for them but look at their personality.
I really hope I'm making sense. I love your channel and Thank you for sharing your lives with us. May God abundantly bless you.
Cole you are so good looking with beautiful eyes that after a person gets pass that, your disability is last especially if they were greeting you for the first time ☺️❤️😊
I like this video so much. Two days ago I honestly was laying down on my bed wondering what my life would be like if I wasn’t born with a disability. I honestly can’t imagine life without my disability I know weird to say. And Cole I absolutely understand what u are talking about when u meeting people for the First time I have very high anxiety because every time I meet someone they always ask me about my disability
It is definitely okay to grieve; it's a natural process, and shouldn't be held in. Let yourself feel whatever emotion happens and ride that wave at that time. God bless you both, praying for you. Staying positive! ❤️
I agree, it's totally OK to grieve. So proud of the both of you guys. You are making a difference. Sometimes life is just that bittersweet. Charisma I could see you as a therapist.
Watching at 03:40am from South Africa 🇿🇦 my favorite couple
I just love you both. This video will definitely benefit many who watch it. There's life after tragedy. Cole proves it every day. Continued blessings to you both!
Talking about your person who you are before lead to a healing process. Love you both
hi guys, Cole I’m a nurse and I’ve seen some quads that cant’ do half of what you are able to do. I can imagine that you have your down days and I understand that but you have accomplished so much, you’re married to a beautiful, intelligent woman who loves you, you do a lot to help yourself and never give up, more improvement is coming your way, I love you guys.
I haven’t watched y’all in a minute. Glad to know y’all are doing well… still such a cute couple… and Cole’s still a dream boat :)
Dang Charisma, Cole is a stud right now!!! You should have told him so!!!
I tell him every single day :)
Cole you are Charisma’s stud ❤️. We all have seasons -they develop us guide but never to break us. Much love to you all.
Proud of you Cole, you have not let your disability define you. You have a wonderful partner in
Just found your channel a week ago and finished majority of your videos .It's okay to express negative feelings as Charisma said ,once they are released they don't possess the same negative hormonal strength as they do before. Piled up and unexpressed emotions just find uglier and unhealthy ways/behaviour to express it.
I was like 15 when I felt into the deadly hands of depression ,which a year later transformed into bipolar disorder. I used to be very introverted,ambitious, intelligent and smart in nature.My academic achievements were like miracles for my parents.I was a complete bookworm and finished books a year before getting into that class. Everyone whose once knew me told my parents how fortunate and lucky they were to have me as their child but my addiction to books and knowledge costed me my whole mental health and personality. Now I feel like my previous reading, understanding, processing, thinking and intellectual abilities were a luxury and now I have lost it. I am still in my late teens and it just feels painful to look back like there's always a question or painful thought that everything would have been very different if didn't happened to me.By this time I would have been studying in medical school .It hurts like hell and I can't do anything to change it.And by that I can imagine that any form of acquired disability is way more painful than inherited one.
Lots of love from INDIA 🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳
You are still very young. You will recover. Be gentle with yourself and take baby steps.
@@ananse77 Yeah I will, thank you for caring, means a lot to me💞
Cole I was diagnosed with RSD/CRPS 15 years ago. The nickname for RSD is called the suicide disease. 17 plus people end their own suffering everyday from RSD. I'm in mindbending screaming pain and suffering. But yet I won't throw in the towel or give up. My husband divorced me, my family and friends left me. But yet I I have thousands of hours for encouragement to give to others. Please always remember whips and chains can beat your brain but if train you will gain. Our minds are powerful to get through anything and everything that tries to pick and pull us apart.
Yes, I totally understand Cole and Charisma, it is called maturing and growing up. You are a mighty man of God and seeing where God has brought you from inspite of it all. It is like that scripture that says weeping may endure for a night but Joy comes in the morning!!!. Been through a lot, but God has set you on top. It doesn't always feel that way, however, but He has brought you to a better place. Wisdom is allowing you to see it, I am experiencing changes, because I have Arthritis, very, painful and I am not 22 anymore. I wonder some of the same things, but God in His grace and mercy, has blessed me to wake up every morning and thank Him for loving me, in spite of myself. You two are some of the mightiest people I have ever met on You Tube. Haven't seen you in a while, but be blessed and prosper in Him, and God will take you further.
I so appreciate you both sharing your lives with us. Cole, You are in no way average. Here's a quote on grief you may appreciate:
"I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process. It needs not a map but a history, and if I don't stop writing that history at some quite arbitrary point, there's no reason why I should ever stop. There is something new to be chronicled every day. Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
Sending my love to you both ♥️
ok
Hey friends. I work in a hospital that rehabs people with spinal cord injuries and I thank God for you both putting hope into the hearts of people going through their most challenging moments in life so far. They deserve to hear truth & you give it to them with love. Thank you
the way you feel Cole about mobility ,people can feel that with old age ....the mind can stay young but the body becomes limited ......the best thing to do is try to adapt all along to the things that you CAN do ......your planning abilities are what you are very strong in now ...keep on giving us your life experience ..you and Chrisma are change makers
I hear ya, Cole. Each year on my comaversary (2020) I mentally go through it all over again until my discharge date. The first year was absolutely brutal. This year I noticed it didn't mentally debilitate me as much, but it's still there.
Thank You for Sharing with us, God Bless You Both❣️❤️💞
👑❤️👑
I was diagnosed with Meniere’s Disease and it changed my life. The 24/7 balance issues I deal with has made me life difficult. This morning with pressure system changes I was slammed with it. I cried and cursed this horrible disease. I felt better after. It’s good to let it out. To curse it. To hate it and to cry for what you have lost. I loved this video. I missed these personal videos. God bless both of you.
Almost at 700k congratulations
God knows the best bro. It’s good to grief about your past injuries to relieve your burden. Cole, don’t forget to count your blessing and lay them one by one. Your disability is just a bend not an end. Even in your disability God is still saying something positive in your life.
God will still perfect all that concerns you in your disability.
I didn’t see your disability because all l see is a good looking tall Man who was blessed to have Charisma, a lovely Angel for a wife and surrounded with a lovely family.
Keep been your real self for you are not alone Cole.
You are really lucky to meet each other in life ! Happiness always !
You hit the nail on the head with lots of things.
I have been fighting cancer for sometime now and I feel everyday I’ve lost who I use to be too. I have to be aware of everything I’m doing and know my limit’s. If I don’t sometimes for days after I’ll be in so much pain I can’t leave my chair. Other times it’s instant and drops me to my knees.
Before my diagnosis I had my own business worked very hard for everything I had. Start my days getting my children ready and off to school. Go to work til school was out. Talk about our days have dinner then off to sports with games and on weekends too. Sometimes even going back to work and home in time to put my kids to bed.
I was a very active mother and very involved. We snowboard together, football, baseball, traveled always on the go. We all loved it all!!
Then my treatments came and slowed me down. I turned weak, tired, sick and lots more.
This past December I bought a Motorhome and have been traveling the USA with my children. Pushing past all the hurt and pain and making core memories to last us our lifetime! No way am I gonna sit down an let cancer take away my our happiness!
There is times like you’ve said cole where you look back and see the old you. When those times come I choose to make them just moments and feel my feelings but shortly after dust off and keep moving forward. I try to everyday make the most out of the time god has given me and what I fight for to watch my children grow.
God bless you both!
Very wise. Loss is real. Honor your feelings. Bravo.
You remind me of the time when I held back my emotions about what kids in my school did to me; when I drowned my feelings about it in my homework and whatever else I did. It *had* to get at some point, which happened when I was going through another school. Although it was not a good school, I am grateful for the peace I felt there.
Such great Conversation. Two beautiful people.
I think it is the best thing for you to express your feelings of joy and sadness whenever you can. You should remain proud of the man you are now and all you have achieved!
💞✨Packing a punch Cole and Charisma.
The sheer enormity of this discussion and subject matter is far reaching, multi layered and important to support your focused realisation, finding alignment within yourself and your individual journey.
Expressing your thoughts, even those which may be challenging, helps you and multiple others with the deepest questions which may be dormant or unanswered, including coming to terms with where you were and now are, at this point.
I found your video, candid, holistic and enlightening. Your vulnerability brings greater connections and deeper appreciation of you👏💗
Chrisma, please get your eye checked out. Love you guys. 😍
Well said DewDan
It not easy losing one self
I feel the pain
Love you guy so much
Hello to Cole and Charisma (my favorite couple) from sunny Barbados and thanks to Cole for being so honest with sharing your emotions. As another Taurean that’s how we are. Since discovering your channel I say a prayer for you quite often and this is from a 70 year old grandma.
Everything you shared Cole is normal...of course you feel & know loss & mourning & grieving is necessary & it will pop up at times when you least expect it. The body remembers trauma! You're doing great!
Thank you for this video. Cole I am proud of you for who you are and how much you have grown over these last 11 years. I am not paralyzed but I do have spinal cord compression injuries in three parts of my spine and the pain is bad and it is hard sometimes. Your videos help me and loads of others and I am personally grateful that you and the lovely Charisma make them for us..
Thanks for opening up and sharing with us
Hi Cole and CHRISMA thank you all for this video.Cole what you saying I understand because I have a chronic lumber injury that thru years negatively affect my lower body and I start feeling not so good hurting with an on the job injury and fighting worker comp about my needs and their sending me to their doctors who says what workers comp want to hear over what several independent doctors findings. So image not feeling well and having to fight like HELL to get what you need from company that caused your injury. Cole I smile an am Thankful for you that you have
a loving caring family and OH SO LOVING BEAUTIFUL wife and GOD HAS ALLOWED YOU TO DO EVEN MORE AND MOR for your self. Cole you do more than the average non injured individual.You are very HANDSOME,tall,smart and seem to enjoy life and guy that is a BLESSING.I know you may have some days of what if BUT GOD GOT YOU. even my not knowing you personally am THANKFUL,GRATEFUL and you give people HOPE injured or non injured.Thank you all so much for sharing your life.BELIEVE YOU GIVE HOPE,GOD KEPT YOU HERE FOR A REASON(I am crying)Cole it could have been worst,.we all have our moments,BUT GOD IS AWESOME.LOVE YOU ALL,KEEP ON KEEPING ON.❤️🌹
Cole and Charisma, please always continue to share your life with us. You make so many people super happy and really enjoy their lives!! .. You two are definitely most inspirational in so many ways!! .. You make us laugh, smile and feel joyful no matter what condition we are in!! .. LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH! .. God Bless You Always, CC
Hugs Cole. It's very brave of you to share but you have a wonderful life with Charisma!!! Love from Virginia!!!
Thanks Cole and Charisma.......So much love from Uganda. You guys have really lifted my spirit so high, was going through a hard Time.
I became disabled after accomplishing what I had gone to college for and owning my own business, things were just where I wanted them and my world stopped. I totally understand your grief. You have become an amazing person even though it’s different then who you were going to be. You make a huge difference in my life with your positivity.
You two express valuable insight that we ALL can benefit from. This was good. Thank God you found each other - no regrets there!
Cole I just love when you share about your disability and your accident 11yrs ago I love to hear you talk about what you can do since your accident you have come a long way and many accomplishments in your life but the most things is that you didn't give up on life and plus you have a beautiful wife (Charisma)in your corner and she always in your corner and I love when you try new thing to do in life that what up and never stop trying new thing to do because you are still a person and you can do anything you want in life you got it love you both and remember stay positive ♥️
Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable. You both have a lot of emotional intelligence and that will help you grow into where ever life takes you. Happiness and good health to you both.
Hey there you beautiful couple... 💛 I think you'll should go around and film stories of you interviewing other Beautiful individuals who have experienced the same situation as you Cole...my friend...I think it would have a huge impact of helping others cope!! I Love..absolutely love the way you've kept pushing forward even though I'm sure there's been times you've felt like you couldn't 💛 Hugs and Love from Illinois!!!
I understand grieving for your old self and old life Cole. I understand completely. I’ve lost SO much, so many different things and people all at the same time. I’m starting my life over but I’m still grieving all of it sometimes. It’s hard to believe that I experienced what I did but it’s also great that God loved so much to give me the strength to keep going and to begin again. He shows me that he loves me everyday. - I commend you Cole and Charisma for all of your confidence, bravery and commitment to living your best life! Your hope, compassion and pleasant demeanor inspires so many people. You two were made for this. 👏🏾👏🏻👏💗🙏🏼🙏🙏🏿👨🦽🧍🏾♀️🏆🌹
Your channel just showed on my wall for no reasons. I watched 1 video, and another video, and so on, until 2am. I still have to go to work at 8:30am. THANK YOU. Such an inspiration!
One thing i love about you Cole you are strong you are an inspiration and your beautiful wife always by side your and that makes you even more happy and stronger too ..and i know you are going to grow old together Stay Postive
I appreciate your vulnerability, you both are so relatable and that opening into your lives really does make a difference in the world
The two of you are absolutely the best in designing yourselves in life's paths of creativity to living. .. Gorgeously Beautiful Duo of Sunshine 🌞❤️❤️