I cried while watching 2nd half of this video. Couldn't hold it in anymore. I studied in kota, went to a iiit, got a job at deloitte, saved half of my income just to be a content creator. After 1.5 years, I recently left my job without asking my parents and I m one now but i have had my share of fights and battles and stress to be one. Home for me is more like jail. I dont hate my dad tho, he helped me. He said follow your hobby but also have a job. I m happy that he was convinced enough to buy me a camera. It was onto me to prove my worth. But it has been a really difficult journey. Thanks for making this video. I support arguing if u really want to be something else. It will help. Even if they let u do this other thing as a hobby, it will still help. Everyone starts somewhere. But dont keep it in.
Kudos bro ❤ surprisingly your story is very similar to "Farhan" from 3 idiots, that engineering and quitting to follow passion, and papa gifting camera. Really amazing.
That’s cuz your parents have seen/experienced “Gareebi” from close quarters that you/we will never be able to imagine. A lot has changed since then, our parents have changed too, but just that fear- that might undo an entire generation’s hard work into nothingness- that fear makes them “worry for us”. Keep at it! 🤞🤘🏻
I think where most parents go wrong is trusting society/relatives viewpoint more than trusting their child's individuality and personality. I have seen 40-45 year old kids obeying their parents in everything and the parents are happy with that, the moment their parents are gone, they won't have any idea about independent decision making. Also, I have seen 18-20 year old men taking individual decisions what they think is right for them, but their parents are unhappy with them for going against social norm. The main role of a parent should be to raise such children who can take care of their family once their parents are old or when they are gone and remain independent of parents for every social/economic things.
exactly, parents can be so manipulative and make their child so dependent on them to make decisions, that when the child is all alone, the child will never know how to choose an appropriate decision by thinking wisely and seeing the benefits and cons of each choice they are given. its like your freedom of choice is being stripped away.
@@arkadeepkundu2428 it is an intentional mention, there are people who are 40-50 years old and yet they have no idea about reality of world, proper decision making and independent thought process, that is why I have referred to them as 40 year old kids
I have a cousin who was very good in studies, he studied engineering, got a government job and his parents found him a proper wife. And the first thing he did after getting married is move out of the house
Good for Him, He stood the ground for both Him and His Mrs. How much he would have felt suffocated, if that was the very first thing to do after He decided to settle.
It's also a political fault, right? We've somehow glamourised the idea of cracking a competitive exam or securing that prestigious job at a well reputed company which only allows the 'chosen ones' so.... India never had that timeline where jobs are very much available for common man. Even simpler 12th pass jobs are getting tougher to get. It's more of a structural narcissism.
Government never said that being an IAS officers , doctors and iitians you become the elite member of your society. It's people who think these are the only means to get respect from society and for that parents force their children to pursue all such things.
dude all parents should make it clear before having a child that "why do they want a child in the first place" rather than following the customs and having children as retirement plan or 'to save the bloodline'.
From that, I remembered that when I was in 8th grade, I wrote a Hindi poem "Cycle" which shed light on every individual's life that how they are controlled throughout their life, first by parents, then boss.. etc and the list goes on. How sadden
There's an advantage to this system that you don't realise. India is highly populated and has a very competitive job market unlike USA. In USA you can just do a graduation and land a good job. In India, you know the reality of arts graduates. Some of them are successful, true. But the failure to success ratio is too high and scary. I am not justifying every strict decision taken by parents, but sometimes it's necessary. At the end of the day life is all about balance. An extreme of anything is bad.
Bhai mere Abbu ne bhi main scooter pe jaa raha tha marks kam aaye the to school se maarte hue ghar le gaye 😂 EDIT:-Chalo yaar Abbu hain maa baap se thoda bohot pitna to jaayiz hai lekin Zyada Sakhti bachon pe ghalat hai
Beech road pe maara nahi tha but beech road pe chillae the mujhpe kyuki music wale teacher hamare ghar aa rahe the aur hum bahar ghumne ja rahe the aur maine papa ko bataya nahi tha ki wo aaenge*. Beech raste me wo teacher mil gaye. aur fir kya tha, papa ne beech sadak me gaadi roki aur haath jod ke maafi maangwai teacher se. Bhayankar chillae mujhpe. 11th me tha main tab shayad 16 years old. Ab music ki life me entertainment se zaada koi aukaat bhi nahi hai. Hamare baap humko na jaane kyun pressurize karte the. *Actually, mujhe khud bhi nahi pata tha ki wo aaenge. Hamare ghar me children ki needs etc sabse last me thi to unko time jab mile wo aate the fir mujhe music sikhate the insult kar kar ke. 20 saal purani baat ho gayi abhi bhi khoon khaul jaata hai kabhi kabhi.
the worst part is that it is dream of thousands of indian kids to secretly pursue their dream get successful at it and then rub it in face of parents just to feel satisfied. it is evil but it feels right and a revenge fr all those times they got us
I actually started earning cash earlier during college and when my parents found out later on, they were shocked that I could do that. I guess they saw me as the quiet useless kid, which I still am. But the difference is, they didn't believe in me, I did. Even after years, I still feel them thinking like that. Even after rubbing money into their faces, they'll still try to control you because "parents know best"
Due to our financial situations, my parents never guided/forced me to choose my education path or career path. Sometimes I regret it but when I see or hear about how other parents force and choose their kids choices, I feel I am lucky.
lucky you!! it is a privilege not a norm. Most are just trying to survive and that's all their parents are hoping for their kids. Kids can follow their choices at their own expense.
I so relate. I was on a call with my dad today. I'm taking an admission test away from home and he booked my tickets such that I stay in that unknown place for one extra day to search for accommodations. Alone. Remember, my admission isn't even guaranteed. I explained to him multiple times that it was unnecessary to do so, that early. Plus I have social anxiety, so none of this is as easy as he makes it sound. He doesn't understand or try to understand my fears either. Even after repeatedly disagreeing, he repeatedly compels me. So I cut the call. I can't deal with people who force me to face my fears. I'd rather do it at my own pace even if it means I lose out or fail
my life is totally fucked up controlled by parents and what not i am 19 btw aiming to get financially independent as soon as possible the guilt trips are insane
So what do you want to do to gain financial independence? Have you proven them that you are worthy of given some time or have your shown them your ability to make money ? Can you describe your situation in detail ?
@@rachitbhati1 cant a person just try and step out in the world and learn? without constantly proving themselves? who are you mate?why do you want details?
@@diwakarkumar-lo2qs ask these questions to indian parents, they always want proof, atleast that's what worked for me. Majority of indian kids are dependent on their parents, they cannot do anything on their own the Indian parents see failure as a bad thing. I failed so many onlin side hustles and now i am pretty good at it. But indian parents don't understand that failing gives you a lesson, i totally agree that a person should step out and try new things. But due to bad parenting childern become dependent on their parents and don't have guts to take unconventional paths. It's not my fault i just told about the reality, if you are having problem with it go and solve it. I am just trying help these dudes out with my experience of convincing my parents.Who are you to stop me from helping these guys out, if you have problems from me asking for details from this guy, then ignore the comments or be logical!
@@RikMahanta but seeing this "can do" generation... I'm worried for their kids... they think too highly of themselves... our parents were not even aware of the concept of this generations and all
@@swastik2207 I will become better parent than my father and mother and how they pressure to get more marks and compare with others. And they think marks are more important than skills. my parents sent me to kota. I didn't want to come here. I'm in 12th and I know how always I'm stressed, depressed and f**kup mental health
i was so bad at studies that my parents lost all hope of me achieving something in my life, so they never expected anything from me & i feel grateful for it..
No one is bad at anything, they just have to work harder at it. Know it the world is an evolving place. Find something that you are good at and become the best at it.
THE FACT THAT THIS COMMENT SECTION IS FILLED WITH MOST MATURE WORDS, DIFFERENT LIFE EXPERIENCES OF A GENERAL PROBLEM AND TRUE EMOTIONS AND NO CREEPY SEXUAL COMMENTS ABOUT 'THE FEMALE NARRATOR' SAYS THE LEVEL OF VIDEO CONTENT AEVY HAS PROVIDED. 🙏
The thing is, even if Indian parents were to choose success over happiness it could have turned out better. The problem is that our parents are not willing to see more than the limited ideas they have and are too narrow minded to even admit that their ideas are not necessarily better.
This video is really good. I hope I can show this to my parents. I'm a MBBS doctor nd I love my career. But my older brother was forced to do mechanical engineering by my father thinking it's easy to do. He started getting backlogs so they changed his branch to electrical engineering. He took 5-6 years to finish just a diploma. Nd couldn't get a job afterwards and COVID hit so that really impacted him mentally. First I thought he was depressed so I took him to see a psychiatrist but he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He said that he keeps thinking how he's a disappointment nd everyone around him talks down on him. Now he's on meds nd doing local business but It just hurts how everything was so forced to him that he had developed psychosis. I feel like it's my fault because I couldn't say anything when I was a teenager when he was forced for engineering. People always compare us siblings nd it really hurted him.
I am really feeling bad for you brother, my mother suffered from psychosis last 3 years and I know how much worse it is. I hope your brother get well soon.
After seeing the way my parents behaved with me I am disgusted with the concept of being a parent. I don't ever wanna have a kid and become a parent. It was such a damaging life filled with abuse and gaslighting that I'm now convinced that parenthood is the shittiest thing that can happen in my life!!!
I too had a similar experiences...not this bad but suffering from bad parenthood motivates me more to have a kid and raise him right being a good parent
The sum of all things can be into one line by Zakir Khan on Indian parenting as Indian parents apne baccho ko pankh to dena chahte hai but unhe udna nai dena chahte
I am girl I want to be an only fans creator but my bastard parents told me that I am characterless . Now I am willing to leave my house and be an online sex worker .😊
Was a topper in school, topped the school twice in up boards, cleared iit, even graduated from iit but no one in family was ever happy with my achievements, no praise or anything was ever given. So i gave up. Now i am pursuing the goal of being an independent creator.
I know how that feels. No appreciation, no praise which doesn't even cost them a single penny for this but they don't do that because it's *expected* of you to do well in your academics. Sucks But I hope you do well in your chosen career.
I remember those days when I came 4th in my class in my 10th board with 86% in Odisha board. Highest was 90% in our school. But my father was never happy about it. He used to scold me why I came 4th. For almost a month I was thinking of suicide. Thank God I didn't chose it. Same happened when I passed 12th. But due to jaundice and typhoid I had scored low. Again I had thought of suicide. He had forced me to join Engineering but I had other plans and never discussed with him. Within a year I joined service and started making money. From my salary 90% is used for family expenditure. I stay away from my family. Still my opinions are rejected by my father. Coz I am 23 years old. And I have no experience. I pay school fees of my siblings. I'm literally saving only ₹1500 from my ₹45000. Yet I have no value. He rejects my opinions always. Whenever I go home and get rejected by father I feel useless. I had no intention to stay apart from my parents but my father's attitude is forcing me to purchase land somewhere else and settle down.
Dude i am 25 -MBBS & JOBLESS and belive me, you are Still young and yet being able to pay for other family member's expenses is the most mature 'Father thing' you are practicing. Your father is an ASshole. He should learn something from you.
Stop paying for your family right now this is exploitation stay away and dont come home for some months they will try to guilt trap you but you have to stay focused . Do not let anyone take advantage of you be it your family or relatives
It's honestly so noble of you to pay back to the family who raised you, but respect goes where respect comes. By the sound of it, I don't think he's a respectable dad
For those of you wondering "toppers must be lucky" NO THEY'RE NOT (not everyone at least)... its all good when you are consistently working hard and the outcome is steady. if you mess up your academics even once, your parents will constantly lash on you for it. all the guilt-tripping and instead of actually finding out the reason, they blame things like friends, tv, etc and you have no idea how emotionally crippling all of it sounds. its like you're all alone. when you do good, they take the credit saying "i knew you would do good" but when you mess up, you can imagine what they'd say
My parents tried to control me in every thing but being the kind of person im i never listened to them and after a point of time my parents didn't bother with whatever i did
Same. But I used to listen to them until I realized that they were simply wrong and so I rebelled. My parents did their best to make me do what they like and even went to such expents to disown me and threaten to kick me out, but they gave up deeming me a failure.
@@anishsingh2848 Going through what all my parents did to me gave me severe mental health issues (while seems to be fine now); keeping that part of my past aside, I will say my life has been better than ever. Seeing my better life my parents pretend as if nothing ever happened, and admittedly, they seem to have changed a bit, but I overheard them a few times saying that I am still a disappointment who cannot have a good future.
@@idonotdosarcasm happy for you man saying this as a random internet person who you will never hear from again Good luck, and I hope you prosper and things go even better for you
It was difficult but at 24 I decided that I don't want to fulfill my father's dream, and live a life by my own terms. Its been 2 years now and somehow he still thing's that fulfilling his dream Is my life's eventual purpose on this planet. This video hits hard. Unfortunately the solutions are tried but don't work.
my father is a righteous man, honest to the bone, and lives within means, I am 45 so he is 70. but when I was growing up, he was an incredibly difficult parent, he used to be a textbook bully when it comes to parenting. hitting children in late 80s or early 90s was a norm. those were days of scarcity. Jobs were everything., But it did took a toll on me, I was an introvert, bullied and low esteemed.. My father still lives with me, I have a daughter, she has the freedom in the world to choose what she wants to study, when the time comes she will have freedom to take all important decisions. My job is to provide her what she wants. my childhood was not bad because I had a loving mother, she never cared for my grades, loved me unconditionally. made me better men. I have no malice in my head because those intentions were honest.
What Society think Students want 👇 Gaming Gadgets Branded Clothes Fast Food What they Really want 👇 Good Home Made Food Outdoor - Play Play Play + some indoor Play Good Sleep Little bit of Study in Peaceful Way
u can do little bit of study and pass. Bt there are others who always do too much study. And in the end due to less marks u will get bad college. Where chances of getting job is less. PPL now looks for skills. But unfortunately PPL who actually score good marks they are the only one who are good in skills. And it's proven. Ppl who get less marks are actually are good in other things where in society u get less money. And for sports, films, singing, modeling these things u need so much money than education and luck and sometimes compromise.
@@Dattebayo3089 I don't understand the logic behind this whole "skill vs degree/college" logic.... like everyone keeps saying "skill matters college doesn't" but how come they think that the people sitting in good colleges are not upskilling themselves... if you're from a tier 1 college you'll get opportunities relatively easier than say a tier 3 college student... and college is not something which is inherited, people work hard, crack entrances and get their desired colleges... feel free to disagree...
society thinks because most of the students want these things only.. also add Getting into relationshits Social Media Followers Distance from studies and hardwork
I am 17 y/o soon turning 18 and asked my parents to give ne permission to become a creator and first they were against that but i was able to prove them that i am good in understanding youtube algorithm and instagram algorithm, so they allowed me to do it for 1 year! I am already seeing some results and soon will start making money. Now they are quite concerned that will i be able to make it or not so they asked me to give time to coding and learning AI! So let's see, how it goes! Please prove them first that you are actually good at something and there is scope in the space! See you on the top my friends 🚀
Yup that's the correct way. My parents wanted me to go into medical and until lockdown I was supposed to take that (lockdown was after my 12th exam). But lockdown gave me enough time to think and on the 3rd month of lockdown (on June mid or end) I said I want to pursue something I like which is Coding and explained everything. And they agreed at the end, they bought me a laptop next month itself (btw I have been asking for a computer since 7th or 8th but never got. Now I know why, I failed to make them understand why I needed it). Skip to today I am a web developer at a company, salary is less but that's ok since I also did an internship in that company itself. I am confident in my skills, but since I lost a lot of time I need to try hard and stay ahead. Anyways I am currently happy and many of my colleagues don't like hard work and the reason is simple they are not passionate. Anyways the moral of the story, just make your parents understand what and why you need something. They are not devils, they will understand if you have the passion and resolve for it
@@alok.01 i am so happy for you, just stay ahead in the market by learning about AI and you will be able to make enough while doing what you love! This problem is quite big in India, i was not able to convince ny parents at first because i have always failed in what i have did in my life, i had did multiple side hustles during my school years like starting a gaming channel, NFT, Instagram theme pages, stock market, freelancing, video editing and now it is all paying off because i am trying to become a creator, i had so much time during lockdown but i wasted it playing free fire all day long. You were smart enough to do that, and i was a big fool to not see the opportunity! Anyway i have completed my 12th and i am glad that my parents have given me some time because i proved them that i am worthy of becoming a creator and it has a future in it! Best of luck for you future, may your all dreams come true 🤜🤛🔥🔥
I thank myself for being the rebel kid. Now for most parts, I try to explain them as much as possible. They kinda trust me because I landed a job at a startup and earned well than anyone in the peers. I’ve told them I’m not here to do better than someone but will do what feels right for me. As I have observed, the only thing parents control is the financial part and once the child becomes financially independent and now doesn’t need permission for everything they would be in shik shak shok
Hi AevyTV team, Can we change the thumbnail of the video. It is showing toxic dads in the thumbnail. However, both mom and dad or any one of them can be toxic. We cannot generalize that only dads in the indian families are toxic.
"The root cause of every problem starts at home" I don't remember who quoted this but that's what I think is true in most of the cases. People don't realise it but having the backing of parents (clear cut understanding and constant withstanding) is already a great advantage in life. But also I want to give out some advice to my generation that plz try to revitalize yourself from your parents' shadow. Don't fight them, be a better parent to your future generations that will be a much more satisfying outcome.
For example look at Priyanka Chopra . She always keeps praising her parents for her success . They are the backbone of her success . She is thriving in her personal life also .
My parents forced me into engineering and I always have to lie to them about my whereabouts and my relationship they will never accept the concept of love or dating and even career wise they will never be welcoming of me working at a startup they would rather force me into some mass recruitment through college placements .They never understand or even try to see things from my point of view they always take harsh actions on me never let me go out on my own and explore the actual world I am a third year student 21 years old and still they cannot even let me go anywhere on my own they pick me from college and drop me everywhere and being a girl so many more restrictions are put on me i cant go out with friends past 6 o clock and i am jealous of everyone their parents are chill and also very understanding of them i wish one day my parents will also understand me
I have an advice for you Whatever you do in your life Do it with Responsibility It could sound harsh but that's the only way you can do currently till our education system changes Once you started doing it for some time Then your parents will start to understand you can take care of yourself atleast in some basic thing's managing money more responsibly, time punctuality, more responsible decisions, etc Not everything in this world comes under your management but you can manage your mind, body
It is sad , but something's never change. If you really love something - fight for it , it may come at the cost of your parents hating you , but maybe one day seeing you happy may finally reconcile them with you
i am in 12th , will be giving my jee next year , yesterday i told my parents tht the indian education system is bad , and they got so offended , we literally had a fight
Thank Fully, my parents didn't ever force me to enter a field, heck when I didn't get the college I wanted in my 12th they allowed me to take a drop and never really cared about my marks the only thing was pass with 70-80% and done they were happy, my dad also bought me the ps4 when i got 84% in my 7th.
It's sad for me that i feel like i had the worst parenting and most toxic childhood, teenage and adulthood. No matter how i look at it... nothing compares to this pain that i feel.
I'M 20, I'm topper, i want to do job but , my father forcefully arranged my marriage .. i tried to make him understand but ... nahi samjh rahe kuch bhi... gher s chala jaunga, jher kha lunga, esi dhamkiyo k aage jhukana pada, Jo jo unhone kaha vo vo kara... kabhi kuch unki marzi k khilaf nahi kiya... kabhi unka trust nahi toda... fir bhi.... "Es gher m tera h kya???? Tera bahar kuch chal raha hoga.. Umar ho gyi h teri shadi ki Job ka kya karoge??? Jab koi shadi k liy milega hi nahi
Do Not relent. Use the same threats that He uses on you, back at Him. If that doesn't work, say that you'll openly say that the Marriage was forced, in front of the Public. He won't be able to do anything, and I'm speaking from Personal Experience (except - in my case, it was My Mother, and they're as aggressive as Fathers in our area). Look, it is your Life. Value that first and foremost, then give priority to your relations, because you yourself have to be alive and healthy in order to care for your relations. Be Cold and Heartless with them, do Not fall for their subsequent sweet talk. They may get physically aggressive, but don't lose your Courage. Fighting forward is your only way of survival, though I wish with all my heart that it was much easier for you.
Hundreds of students trained and placed. It is a startup providing real jobs - please take a look at our placement report. You are still stuck in the old mindset that a UA-cam channel cannot create distribution for a startup or create impact and value. Shows you are still stuck in the stone ages.
I was been bullied in my school for 10 years.And I did not tell my parents because I knew that they won't care about these things.I want to do study and practice about share market but I cannot pursue that because my parents think that it is wrong in my religion because it involves intrest.I tried to educate my parents but here I am working in corporate sector from 2 years.I go to mental counselling 2 times every month because I cannot tell my parents what pressure I get in the corporate world and it has effected my mental health and that is why I have mental counselling every month 2 times. Now I feel the importance of good parenting. Thanks Aevy TV to bring up this video. Aevy TV is a vibe ❤️ .
@@rytfrommarsyou didn't take up bio cause you got mocked.. an entire freakin Village mocked my father when he said he wanted to become a doctor. he went on to be in a very high position and let me study whatever the hell i want. the interest in medicine and science seems to be genetic. i ended up becoming a doctor too, he asked if i wanted to go towards engineering or any other branch. i like science and he was like fine then, you have to work hard though. you don't have to care about what others say to you. you have to focus on what you like
Honestly not sharing this because I don't think they want to change. Plus I'd be scared of their reactions and how they'd bring it back up in a future argument
If we do Not have the freedom to send this to our Parents, then there is No Love between us and them - only a farce of a relation exists for the sake of society. P.S. : The First and most essential form of Love is healthy Self-Love (and Self-Respect).
All this people in comments are crazy, parents are also humans they also need love. Complaining about each every so called wrong parenting is a immature thing.
Actually, no. They just want to see you do what they think is better, and a lot of times, it is just the non-unique thing. They do not care researching if their idea is really good or not they will just force you into it.
I suffer from anxiety and anger issues, my parents wanted me to become a doctor when they saw me read an encyclopedia as a kid, I was an under achiever in school and so how made it last school and paid medical seat for BDS. Took many years to pass the course got out in the real world to realise there is no salary for this job. Got depressed and went to Another country thinking this is it for me, failed again ( covid time) Came back to India 🇮🇳 Still searching for myself from the fragments that still define me. 😢 Thank you
The problems with adults is that they don't even know what they are doing. They are so oblivious of the fact that it is very hard for someone to unlearn somethings once they are taught that in their growing years.
The irony here is that this video will reach and watched by us (The child) and not the parents, I don't know how to express myself to my parents, heck I can't even make them watch this video because when they will not understand your english and ask me what is it about I will not be able to explain them without crying or being awkward.
the video moved me to tears,today was 12th board results and i didnt achive their desired goal(got 82%) and my parents were on and on about their sacrifices while discarding my improvements throughout the academic year,i know that i am going to reach the final rank i desire by securing better marks at the competitive exam,hence y Im keeping my head down till the final results...
I’m sorry to hear about this. I was in same boat i got 70% in my 12th. Parents and family confirmed that i will be a failure. Today i’m 30 and i’m a manager for machine learning and data at the big 4 consulting in Canada! The name of the game is never give up, your dreams and goals for a happy and peaceful life is more important than your parents and their opinions. Me and my wife are happy and cut them off our life for the last 5 years. Never give up my friend!
Hey just to make you feel better. I got like 60% in class 12 and almost failed in chemistry. Today I earn more than my peers who got 98% I used whatever freedom i got in college to pursue my interests and start making money asap. Now I write for two major international news outlets and have my own media business. Don't give up. 12th marks don't matter. I landed my first job not because I had great makes in class 12 but because I had a great portfolio showcasing my talent that I built while in college. Focus on skills.
@@nothanks0009 congratulations on your work!!...ive got similar plans too,just trying to get into their ideal university and after tht ill pursue my interests hidden and will show wt i want to do after graduation,your story is really inspiring pal!!! thanks alot for telling!
I am facing the same problem I got 72.5 I had to get 75 due to jee but now I have to give it in July. I could see on my parents face they didn't like my efforts at all. They didn't even say a word to me after the results came out
This video couldn't have come at a better time then this! I am in process of getting married and facing some issues with my parents. Thank you for the insight that negotiate is the key!
the emotional control is so true i just passed out 12th grade and gave my JEE mains and now preparing for MHT-CET all of this under the pressure of my parents they are by no means restrictive or even strict but that unspoken expectation and guilt is just to much to handle at this point i have been studying for 2 1/2 without any breaks or holidays and i am at the point of depression and not being able to even focus on anything i NEED a break and i am completely burned out but when i say this words to my parents they just call me lazy 😢
Hey man listen up . I've been all through it buddy ,i know how hard it is . I can advise you to chill yourself up , keep studying but don't base your entire life over it. Be optimistic about future, god has planned so many miracles for you . Trust me , I'm speaking from experience.
This is the best video made by Aevy TV till now. I’m 30 yes old, married and onto starting a new business rn with my 3 friends. Everyday I’ve to fight with my parents, my wife, even with my friends whom I thought would support me but they don’t. After convincing them for last 1 year, *My parents* agreed to let me start my own business along with my friends that too on this condition that I’ll take sabbatical from my job and not entirely leave my job. Can you believe it! A 30 yr old adult wants to start a business with his own friends, with his own money and still seeking the validation of his parents. I think the mindset, behaviour of our parents is the outcome of the society that we grew up in. Being from a middle class joint family, advice of relatives, neighbours and friends mattered more to our parents than our own likes and dislikes.
Ay same feeling bro, same feeling. Same situation, forced career, forced arrange marriage. Atleast me and my fiance bond very well because she is also victim of DESI Parents😅.
Same here. They (mostly, the Mother. Father was a lot better) sabotaged My Career, My Extra-Curriculars, My Friend Circle and basically My Self-esteem. I used to be the one who was passionate about all of these, and a top-scorer (95% and above in Academics) and always used to win laurels in multiple extra-curriculars. I have a Degree and Masters from 2 Premier Institutions of India, and a relevant professional skill-set. All of these, after hailing from a financially hard, Emotionally and physically Unsafe Childhood. Every single thing ..... ....... Except Confidence. I don't know if I'll be able to go back to my old high energetic self. Ever. I feel perpetually tired to my bones every single day. Except, I have successfully resisted Forced Arranged Marriage until now, and even broke one openly. When I am suffering myself, how can I sustain a Marriage and its responsibilities. I guess there is still some fire left in me.
The fact that every two minutes of this video, I felt the need to share the link with my parents, but talking myself out of it because I knew they would not take any of this in its intended meaning.
I really hope this video gets the reach it deserves. This things really needs to get heard! Absolutely my core believes and strategies to combat with the Indian Parents Mindet that I've been try to decode and experimenting with since long ago and this video resonates with my findings very precisely.
I really really really wished this video was in Hindi so that it could be absorbed directly by the parental audience. Sometimes children dont receive any seriousness despite having data and logic on their side. The default most of the time with Indian parents is "They know better" which links back to deep rooted ego and rigidity. But when the same message gets delivered by someone else (preferably of their age group) it instantly becomes a consideration for them.
But sometimes, its not abt a job... In some societies, girls are encouraged to study only for good "rishtas" In the future... I'm a bsc microbiology student but nearly my whole life i have been in love with history, i wanted to become an archeologist but i wasn't allowed to go for it and pushed into science. At first i didn't understand why my father would this to me but later i understood that having an arts degree would be problematic in the future while he'll looking for a suitable husband for me. Even though he sugar-coats his words really well, i see right through them. And as i never had much interest in science, i never really scored the top marks and then came the guilt-tripping abt how he's putting so much money in so that i get a good education. And cuz i all this i feel mein kidhar ki bhi nahi rahi... Nahi mujhe complete history knowledge hai aur nahi science ki. And i feel worthless. Like i don't have any real value. I have lost my own self respect...
One More thing in Earlier Times Joint Family 👪 System was there to help them But now Society has become More Money Oriented & Doesn't know how to make & manage things Better I am not saying if Family is Toxic you should leave with them You can get apart from them Now People have Choice in this But I will say before moving out try to solve issues if issues didn't solved after applying all ways then move away But Currently People start thinking of getting apart from Childhood & Parents, School doesn't teach us - How bundle of Sticks are more stronger than Single Stick They teach in Books not on Ground Level One more thing Because of Huge Population we don't have much space for bigger Houses & People didn't get Privacy easily
When my younger brother (at that time 12) got 60% grades, my father handed him a dish, some torn clothes and asked him to get out of the house and beg on the streets because according to him, that is where he belonged. Thankfully my mother let him in later. When I was in1st Standard, my father beat me brutally because I wasn't good in English. Eventually I scored good grades, and then he said beating me on one day improved grades. In 4th class he sent me to tuitions, despite the fact that my grades were the best in class. Same in 7th class. Never let us play with other kids. He only drove us to a cricket club two summers in our life, yet he keeps highlighting it for the rest of our life. At the age of 15 and 16 I had increased interest in Mathematics and research in it, but my father hated this because he thought it came in my way against other subjects. So he beat me regularly so that I avoid it. At the same time, he forced me to sleep a max of 4 hours, and stay awake to study for the rest of the hours. My concentration power dwindled, and eventually I got 4% less than what my experienced Teachers predicted. Although everyone was impressed, my father was angry and hated my results (94%). In 11th class and 12th class he forced me to join IIT JEE coaching (when I didn't even know what the f that means). When my brother (convinced by my father that engineering is the only way to survive), said he would be okay with studying Mechanical, he said by studying mechanical, you can only become household mechanic, and that he should rather choose Computer Science Engineering. Eventually we decided to escape the competition and go to Europe to study. Here we studied Computer Science, and he didnt have to pay more than 5 L for each of us (the rest 10 L each being loan, which we brothers repaid). Yet today he claims he was so good to us, that he paid so much money for our studies. Nonsense. He paid for us less than what other parents spent on engineering fees. We paid for our living expenses with the help of jobs. With the attitude "Log kya kahenge", he never told them that we earned our own money, and instead told everyone that he paid for us 1 Cr each. Eventually, we invited him to graduation, hoping he'd have gotten better, but wrong. Despite his initial acceptance to the relationship of my brother, he forced us to kick his gf out of the apartment. He said he owns us and everything that we have, until we have fully paid back the education loan, on which he was the co-borrower. He (and our mother) emotionally manipulated us and guilt tripped us to coerce us to do this. When that did not work, they started making the drama of getting heart-attack, so we eventually had to give up. After 3 months I was finally eligible to get a personal loan in Europe. Got it immediately, and without informing him, paid it in its entirety. Now I have broken all the communication and have sworn never to see their faces ever again. And yes, my mother always supported this monster. For all the things that they did for us (financial), I pay them a pension which is enough to live very well, but I have learned how NOT to be a parent.
Once my mom told me how my nani and my father didn't want me because i was a girl but she still had me...and then went on to say how she shouldn't have done it......i was probably only 14-15....it still flashes in my mind, i can never forget it......the amount of verbal abuses I've gone through it's just so hard to forget it and follow my parents orders! The constant Shaming and abuses has impacted me so much that no matter what my parents do I can't not hate them for giving me so much trauma ....
Maybe my parents tried to control me but it sudden changed when i started to badmouthing on them, i will tell in short,my childhood was mostly alone no friends to play ,fear of parents-teacher meetings, no thinking, decision taking mechanism etc...then a friend who has more experience related issues he started to have conservations with me felt happy then started taking medicine (by discussing about issues , solution etc) ...A worst time at ganesh chaturthi were he left saying you wont able to live malhar in shorts its impossible to get removed from this situation he left me and after i started crying then it ignitied my angerness and agitation aganist parents ,started to disrespect against them ,started to correct then about their mistakes ,started to take own well researched decision, forcing them to listen, giving them realisation of present situations and bruh im happy with mine life😊
And those who are reading for them By looking others situation mine parents are best except they did biggest mistake that they didn't taught independent thinking and keeping own opinion but yes I successfully reversed this mistake ...from experience I will say have guts to speaks truth (even they hurts them badly{topics related to like relationship, education and own personal interests} ),try to force them unbaised disscusions ,try to them realites such explaining job marks using present era employement reports ,never take extreme decisions or behave in extreme manner (until they tries to undermine your respect {till it feels toxic}),try to develop skills of managing worst and normal situation in life ,have willingness to take risk ,take own responsibilities,never be insecure, accept independence of mind( till such level that parents won't be there at everytime or no one is here keeping relationship with you)have willingness to develop critical thinking, willingness to take own responsibility, willingness to work silently (or asper situation aspects) These solutions whichever I implemented...thank you
About my education interests My family wants to pursue engineering because new branch has added (AIDS) so that's why(I won't have problem with them because I choosed with mine own interests) but reality is I want to become mangaka comic writer ( means I want to write comics on my own life) I'm feeling that having degree in animation would help,so in next I'm going to apply animation classes to see I'm interested or not ,if yes I'm planning to give ceed examination and Target will be....😅(Sorry I can't share) If I got that college addmission i would convince my parents,if they didn't then fine😅😂I will pursue at 32-33 before marriage because I know responsibility increases ,it's better I should pursue before these things ....so I will say try to take good things on my experience thanku 😊
Tbh I always feel angry inside when I remember that my parents forced me in to science field with the hopes that I would become a computer engineer where as I always wanted to be in finance field 😭
I didn't listened to them and i was arguing with them to make me choose commerce because i have interest in it. Even though i did terrible in the exams, they allowed me to take commerce but only for one condition that i have to do CA after 12th. I have completed my 12th exams on 27th march and have convinced them to let me become a creator because i proved them i understand social media in general. You have to fight for your dreams and prove that you know something about that field!
@@rachitbhati1 I hope u could become what u want to be in life but I would warn u that the field of media is a field which is very very difficult to find success in 🥲👍🏽
I'm from an upper middle class family. Money was never really an issue but my mother wanted to control me and my life so that I would be "successful" and she could boast about me to her family.
After taking my time and hitting a good balance with my mental health... I am finally able to realise that even my parents are humans. I don't know if I'll be able to ever fully let go of my childhood traumas but I am trying to carve out my slice of connection with them. Ironically it is by getting my own place, which my parents don't know yet. But little by little I am opening up more to my parents and having relatively healthier discussions than before....I'm hoping to tell them about my new place and the reason I got it very soon... It has been a long journey and still a very long way to go. Taking small steps forwards one at a time.. Thank you for this amazing video. Kudos to the entire team. U are doing some amazing work here which I personally resonate with a lot.
I wish you would have made this video in Hindi so I could have shown it to my parents, they don't understand English enough that's why. I have mental problems like social anxiety, depression and because of this I now have severe OCD. Thx to my parents. I'm am 27 and I can't do basic task like buying grocery or even my own food. I always was introvert but as time passes by I got social anxiety. When I was younger I would at least go outside make friends and play and have fun together, nowadays I don't even pickup my own phone when it's ringing. I always was confident but my parents ruined it by there extreme controlling behaviour. But at least one thing stick with me all this time, I was always a rebel and never listened to them, but it only worked in my younger days of life, when I get older those things they used to say to me become taunts and started hurting my feelings.
I'm going to university in less than a month at the age of sixteen, and the main thing my parents are concerned about is, "You're looking at your phone all day, how are we supposed to believe that you'll study properly once you leave the house?"
Generational trauma, narrow mindedness, society's influence, the urge to make their kid better than their peer's all add up to this During our parent's parents times, the only thing that mattered was to get out of the agricultural field, leave the countryside and get a good job anywhere in the city, passion or following your dream was not an option and didn't matter, so this cycle continued down to our generation. But parents don't understand that the occupational field is so much more diverse than it was, they refuse to beleive that anything besides engineering and medicine is a worthy job. They don't have awareness about the diversity of the jobs available and possible growth in that job. Moreover this is the same mindset of the society as well, if by luck your parents are liberal, the society will somehow convince them to make u pursue the so called prestigious careers
Seemed like a very personal video, probably the most personal one so far. Hit hard. Need more content like this. Real issues, conveyed well and authentically.
I feel there is a certain age till which proper guidance and supervision is required, and during that time parents have to equip their kids with all skills, wisdom and sanskaar required for a mindful life. After that, experiences by the kid shapes their further journey. Although, parents need to be available for support and guidance when asked for. And need to sometimes crack a whack here and there. But otherwise, best parenting is judged when they teach the kids how to excel in life without parents help and support. Thats positive parenting. Also, its written in Gita that kids owe nothing to their parents for raising them, as its their duty and not a favor. Parents purpose to make kids should be to further their lineage, and not to support them in their old age.
Because parents especially Father always sees his son as an investment , and daughter as a liability 👈 Also we are far far behind as far as social infrastructure is concerned compared to advance countries . In India children rely heavily on parents so if parents ditch u , u have nowhere to go , no help . We in India simply have no / zero well regulated child care / welfare authorities . Also no safety net / support socio economic ecosystem for the child or young parents unlike in the Developed countries.
my relationship with my father has been rocky. it was quite cold and distant. as i grew up and started living away from home, he gradually progressed into thinking of me as an individual with her own set of beliefs and hopes and aspirations. he sympathised with me and in fact felt sorry for me for situations he could have been otherwise angry about.
It's all about the expectations they put in you, all they say is, "Sirf padhai karne se kahi pohochne wale ho" this mindset keeps you inside a box and not let you escape the rat race and the cycle goes on.
It is the safest and surest way to success. Being a middle class child you do not have the independence to do whatever. Your family could suffer because of your bad choices .
Wohi to problem hai... Papa ne diya bhi hadd se zyada hai but unhone expect bhi hadd se zyada kiya hai..😢 When I share my opinion which contadict his thought means I'm going against him and after marriage everything has changed😢😢😢
only if my parents were understanding enough to watch this video logically . i am 19 just my jee results came it was 92.77% , yes i couldn't clear it but reason they gave me that i lack "junoon" for success and be mediocre throughout my life , i have never been to a friends birthday dont have my personal phone untill i was 19 dont talk to my only friend cuz my father wouldn't like that , deprived of social connection gained 20kg in last year while preparing for jee metally fucked , socially fucked , on daily basis have sucidal thoughts , saturday and sundays are worst for me cuz my father is at home . I was once tolled by my mother in a neutral manner(for her) that i will never crack a govt job . even tough i dont have any plan to do govt job i will clear one and burn the result in house then will go on to do what I like so they wont be able to say i do what i do because i couldn't have i good job . In no way they want bad for me but all these give me serious anger issues and sleepless nights for past year i have been using earphones and fun podcast to fall sleep , no worries i took my anger for today out in this comment box ✌ I HAVE MORE TO SCREAM BUT I WON'T CUZ NO ONE GIVES A CRAP
I'm preparing for neet but my passion's are art and cooking and they never encouraged me. In my school i loved bio and for that sake i took medical as a stream but now i realized how much of fool i was but my parents have warned me this is my first and last attemp or i have to do whatever they want me to do , plus i have 'OCD' and handling this situation is so damn freaking me out. Help !
As someone with OCD too, I can understand that. Though I'm college passout (engineering obviously) and started working from 2022, all I can say is, Life is tough, you gotta learn to fight and adapt.
The social pressure that our parents get from the society, and sharma ji ka larka is immense,but in the long run, changing perspective of socity will may change parenting behaviour outcasting the sharma ji ka larka effect. Avey tv videos are one of the stepping stones which can potentially dimnish the sharma ji ka larka effect.😊
i am currently in class 12....my parents want to be chill but they want me to act according to my full potential. they want me to score highest grades and if i don't they do not shout at me but they say one phrase "you did not understand your potential". honestly i can't blame them. i am definitely not an easy kid. i am impulsive and clueless. I never stick to a decision...honestly speaking i really don't know what i want to do in my career.there are so many options and in this day and age of AI.it is hard to predict the future and figure everything. as i am clueless i do not know what to do rather then to listen society
Parents of my friend sent him to rehab torture chambers even after he was sober just to assert dominance and control over him. He was broken internally and couldn't trust anyone in the world for years after coming from the years of turmoil of torture chambers. He told me, no one knows what kind of torture happens there, it's brutal and his parents knew that and still wanted him to suffer so that he could actually bend his knees and take an oath of complete subservience. I felt really bad for him. He already had been in depression and isolation for years and along with this trauma, it really changed his entire being. He literally was wandering like a broken soul for years but he continue to work on himself and finally restored his self-esteem, family relationships, career and social reputation. It had been very hard for him and I really admire his journey of strength and will. It was definitely very hard for him to forgive his parents after being subjected to paralysing tortures, suicide thoughts, predatory villains and parents full of animosity. I am really glad for him to be able to live a better life now, but he still says that he cannot ever forget that and those scars still live inside of him in seldom nightmares and physiologically embedded traumas which he still is working to healing them.
Okay I know the video was great and informative, but I think the part of how to convince your parents can be elaborated upon. I have a few points, and hope you find them useful. Note for Children/Kids: 1. Figure out fi your parents really love you or not. No, it doesn't mean if they give you attention or give you gifts or behave lovingly with you. Many times these things are expressions of love, but if your parents don't do these CLEAR acts of love, then don't think they don't love you. Do they give you food, water, shelter ( I know it's basic, but it's a start), do they give you good schooling, does your mom try to make your favourite food once in a while? Has your father bought you the shiny looking bicycle, or given you anything you wanted in your childhood, which some other kid had? I don't have many examples, but if your observant enough, and can see that in some way, your parents have tried to provide value to you, not just because your a marks scorer and a future source of income, but because you are their child, then I believe they do love you. 2. I can't say for sure how many parents exist which DONT love their child, but from here on, this message won't be applicable for them. However, if you think that your parents do love you in some sense, then you have a chance of negotiation, which was explained beautifully in the video. But here's the hard part. You need to be SURE of what you want to do in your career. And a firm believe that you will be able to do it, make a decent living out of it, and don't ask for too much, try and reach the middle ground. The best point could be time ( in years). Ex. 'I want to try and make a career in video editing, so I want to join this course, and try to give it 2 years time. If I am not able to do it, I will agree that I was wrong, and will be ready to do, whatever you want. But make sure if your parents can provide you with whatever you are negotiating with, without having a detrimental effect on them, like if your parents are 50-55, and you are asking 5-6 years, it may be a lot, as after 60, people generally like to retire. And make sure you have researched yourself so well that you don't need written points, where you can just speak facts with emotions. Have that much of depth, and please think over your personal career goals with depth, so you have the motivation to prove yourself, in the least. 3. Don't expect them to readily accept your decisions. If you are someone in school, then you still have time. Keep it a gradual process. Don't have a big fight on the same issue once, but have general disagreements once in a while, and always show that you still dream of becoming whatever you want to be, and show utmost confidence in your ability to become it. 4. This journey will be hard, as if you really care about your parents opinion, it's highly likely that you do love them, and hence you want them to love you too. It's psychology. But don't go back on your word for the hard times, stay firm on your choice and put in the work, efforts and hours and actually do make progress towards your goals. Progress, which they can see too. I know this message may not be able to help a some people, maybe I was able to help others. But still, I hope everyone who read this till this point will live their dreams in the future, in their dream professions, and live a happy life too. Thanks.
The problem with Indian parents is 'What next??' You complete 10th standard exams and then comes the question 'What next after 12th?' And this keeps on repeating after UG and PG. After job, when will you marry? After marriage, pota/poti kab doge humne? After pota/poti, it will be like 'Ab tum phikar karna shuru kar do'. And if you plan not to have kids, all hell breaks lose 🤣🤣🤣. It's a collectivist mindset after all.
I cried while watching 2nd half of this video. Couldn't hold it in anymore.
I studied in kota, went to a iiit, got a job at deloitte, saved half of my income just to be a content creator. After 1.5 years, I recently left my job without asking my parents and I m one now but i have had my share of fights and battles and stress to be one. Home for me is more like jail. I dont hate my dad tho, he helped me. He said follow your hobby but also have a job. I m happy that he was convinced enough to buy me a camera. It was onto me to prove my worth. But it has been a really difficult journey.
Thanks for making this video. I support arguing if u really want to be something else. It will help. Even if they let u do this other thing as a hobby, it will still help. Everyone starts somewhere. But dont keep it in.
Kudos bro ❤ surprisingly your story is very similar to "Farhan" from 3 idiots, that engineering and quitting to follow passion, and papa gifting camera. Really amazing.
@@adityakadam8080 yesss... somehow i just realised that! 🤞
That’s cuz your parents have seen/experienced “Gareebi” from close quarters that you/we will never be able to imagine.
A lot has changed since then, our parents have changed too, but just that fear- that might undo an entire generation’s hard work into nothingness- that fear makes them “worry for us”.
Keep at it! 🤞🤘🏻
@@adi45713toxicity is never the answer
Dont be a cry baby, if you can do something, ACT, before it is too late.
I think where most parents go wrong is trusting society/relatives viewpoint more than trusting their child's individuality and personality. I have seen 40-45 year old kids obeying their parents in everything and the parents are happy with that, the moment their parents are gone, they won't have any idea about independent decision making. Also, I have seen 18-20 year old men taking individual decisions what they think is right for them, but their parents are unhappy with them for going against social norm.
The main role of a parent should be to raise such children who can take care of their family once their parents are old or when they are gone and remain independent of parents for every social/economic things.
Yes, absolutely - they trust in the society more than the child
exactly, parents can be so manipulative and make their child so dependent on them to make decisions, that when the child is all alone, the child will never know how to choose an appropriate decision by thinking wisely and seeing the benefits and cons of each choice they are given. its like your freedom of choice is being stripped away.
Why I am I seeing my self in your comment
Funny part in your writing you qre tellinh 40 years -45 years as kid..😂😂😂
@@arkadeepkundu2428 it is an intentional mention, there are people who are 40-50 years old and yet they have no idea about reality of world, proper decision making and independent thought process, that is why I have referred to them as 40 year old kids
I have a cousin who was very good in studies, he studied engineering, got a government job and his parents found him a proper wife. And the first thing he did after getting married is move out of the house
Last line was so funny. He waited his while life for this moment. I am just curious how would have his parents reacted to this event?
Looks like your cousin was planning this since very long .
Uno reverse bc
Good for Him, He stood the ground for both Him and His Mrs. How much he would have felt suffocated, if that was the very first thing to do after He decided to settle.
Lol same here i cracked iit just because i wanted to leave my fucking parents 🙃ya i have Passion in engeneering but main reason was to leave my house
It's also a political fault, right? We've somehow glamourised the idea of cracking a competitive exam or securing that prestigious job at a well reputed company which only allows the 'chosen ones' so.... India never had that timeline where jobs are very much available for common man. Even simpler 12th pass jobs are getting tougher to get. It's more of a structural narcissism.
Why isn't this comment popular
they're not "chosen ones" they work hard to crack exams and placements... and jobs are tougher to get because of the huge population
Right!
It can also be capitalistic because capitalism only gatekeeps certain resources for certain people which you've mentioned right now
Government never said that being an IAS officers , doctors and iitians you become the elite member of your society.
It's people who think these are the only means to get respect from society and for that parents force their children to pursue all such things.
In middle class family there are no childrens they are just investments 😢
:(
Retirement plan and personal bank
Truer words never said. I say the same thing to my mom
@@HannahV554 exactly bro, and especially if u r 2nd child, it means back-up
dude all parents should make it clear before having a child that "why do they want a child in the first place" rather than following the customs and having children as retirement plan or 'to save the bloodline'.
In india your life is like a doll which is first controlled by your parents, wife/husband, your boss, your relatives,your society.
😂yes
From that, I remembered that when I was in 8th grade, I wrote a Hindi poem "Cycle" which shed light on every individual's life that how they are controlled throughout their life, first by parents, then boss.. etc and the list goes on. How sadden
That's Asia for you
There's an advantage to this system that you don't realise.
India is highly populated and has a very competitive job market unlike USA.
In USA you can just do a graduation and land a good job. In India, you know the reality of arts graduates.
Some of them are successful, true. But the failure to success ratio is too high and scary.
I am not justifying every strict decision taken by parents, but sometimes it's necessary.
At the end of the day life is all about balance. An extreme of anything is bad.
Hmmm, and also god is controlling us, if you don't believe in something called free wheel
Mere baap ne toh mujhe beech road pe mara tha ek baar.
Bachpan yaad dila diya aap logo ne 😊
me too brh, even I can't play with my neighbour friends, dad always call me and slap "you shouldn't be seen with them again"😥 till 18
😢
Bhai mere Abbu ne bhi main scooter pe jaa raha tha marks kam aaye the to school se maarte hue ghar le gaye 😂
EDIT:-Chalo yaar Abbu hain maa baap se thoda bohot pitna to jaayiz hai lekin Zyada Sakhti bachon pe ghalat hai
Mujhe toh hotel mein maare the vo bhi birthday wale din😂
Beech road pe maara nahi tha but beech road pe chillae the mujhpe kyuki music wale teacher hamare ghar aa rahe the aur hum bahar ghumne ja rahe the aur maine papa ko bataya nahi tha ki wo aaenge*. Beech raste me wo teacher mil gaye. aur fir kya tha, papa ne beech sadak me gaadi roki aur haath jod ke maafi maangwai teacher se. Bhayankar chillae mujhpe. 11th me tha main tab shayad 16 years old. Ab music ki life me entertainment se zaada koi aukaat bhi nahi hai. Hamare baap humko na jaane kyun pressurize karte the.
*Actually, mujhe khud bhi nahi pata tha ki wo aaenge. Hamare ghar me children ki needs etc sabse last me thi to unko time jab mile wo aate the fir mujhe music sikhate the insult kar kar ke.
20 saal purani baat ho gayi abhi bhi khoon khaul jaata hai kabhi kabhi.
the worst part is that it is dream of thousands of indian kids to secretly pursue their dream get successful at it and then rub it in face of parents just to feel satisfied. it is evil but it feels right and a revenge fr all those times they got us
I actually started earning cash earlier during college and when my parents found out later on, they were shocked that I could do that. I guess they saw me as the quiet useless kid, which I still am. But the difference is, they didn't believe in me, I did. Even after years, I still feel them thinking like that. Even after rubbing money into their faces, they'll still try to control you because "parents know best"
@@irmalair4730 what you do did for money tips!
@@irmalair4730You are good enough buddy.
@@irmalair4730wow!! that's so cool of you
@@irmalair4730They want the money too , who doesn't love ATM especially Indian parents 😆
Due to our financial situations, my parents never guided/forced me to choose my education path or career path. Sometimes I regret it but when I see or hear about how other parents force and choose their kids choices, I feel I am lucky.
lucky you!! it is a privilege not a norm. Most are just trying to survive and that's all their parents are hoping for their kids. Kids can follow their choices at their own expense.
bro you speaking my life
AAP kya kaam karte ho ?
You are lucky!!
Bro this is not luck we are the product of our surrounding 😊
I belong from the category where no matter how good/accurate your pitch is, parents don't agree, it's just their nature.
Thank you for sharing this.
I so relate. I was on a call with my dad today. I'm taking an admission test away from home and he booked my tickets such that I stay in that unknown place for one extra day to search for accommodations. Alone. Remember, my admission isn't even guaranteed.
I explained to him multiple times that it was unnecessary to do so, that early. Plus I have social anxiety, so none of this is as easy as he makes it sound. He doesn't understand or try to understand my fears either.
Even after repeatedly disagreeing, he repeatedly compels me. So I cut the call. I can't deal with people who force me to face my fears. I'd rather do it at my own pace even if it means I lose out or fail
Your parents listen to your pitch ?
Same here
my life is totally fucked up controlled by parents and what not i am 19 btw aiming to get financially independent as soon as possible the guilt trips are insane
Come work for our company. We are doing some interesting shit.
So what do you want to do to gain financial independence? Have you proven them that you are worthy of given some time or have your shown them your ability to make money ? Can you describe your situation in detail ?
@@rachitbhati1 cant a person just try and step out in the world and learn? without constantly proving themselves? who are you mate?why do you want details?
@@diwakarkumar-lo2qs ask these questions to indian parents, they always want proof, atleast that's what worked for me. Majority of indian kids are dependent on their parents, they cannot do anything on their own the Indian parents see failure as a bad thing. I failed so many onlin side hustles and now i am pretty good at it. But indian parents don't understand that failing gives you a lesson, i totally agree that a person should step out and try new things. But due to bad parenting childern become dependent on their parents and don't have guts to take unconventional paths. It's not my fault i just told about the reality, if you are having problem with it go and solve it. I am just trying help these dudes out with my experience of convincing my parents.Who are you to stop me from helping these guys out, if you have problems from me asking for details from this guy, then ignore the comments or be logical!
i hope you get to do what you want man
My teacher once said - "Your generation will be the best parents ever"
ghantaaaaaaaaaaa.... reels me lagi rahegi generation... maata pita ka alag ig account balako ka alag.. its already started...
@@swastik2207 still I know how to handle children and what to teach them
@@RikMahanta obviously you do...
@@RikMahanta but seeing this "can do" generation... I'm worried for their kids... they think too highly of themselves... our parents were not even aware of the concept of this generations and all
@@swastik2207 I will become better parent than my father and mother and how they pressure to get more marks and compare with others. And they think marks are more important than skills. my parents sent me to kota. I didn't want to come here. I'm in 12th and I know how always I'm stressed, depressed and f**kup mental health
i was so bad at studies that my parents lost all hope of me achieving something in my life, so they never expected anything from me & i feel grateful for it..
bro is playing 4d chess!
@@sudhamjayanthi lmao
good, now work on yourself and show them your worth, not by scoring good marks, coz if you do, their hopes will return by 5%.
No one is bad at anything, they just have to work harder at it. Know it the world is an evolving place. Find something that you are good at and become the best at it.
L
THE FACT THAT THIS COMMENT SECTION IS FILLED WITH MOST MATURE WORDS, DIFFERENT LIFE EXPERIENCES OF A GENERAL PROBLEM AND TRUE EMOTIONS AND NO CREEPY SEXUAL COMMENTS ABOUT 'THE FEMALE NARRATOR' SAYS THE LEVEL OF VIDEO CONTENT AEVY HAS PROVIDED. 🙏
Yeah because most people don’t have that mindset. Its only immature dudes who have no game that do
@@bioshock9998 truly said!
Your children are not your extensions. Not a trophy to flaunt. They are their own people. This hits hard😢
The thing is, even if Indian parents were to choose success over happiness it could have turned out better. The problem is that our parents are not willing to see more than the limited ideas they have and are too narrow minded to even admit that their ideas are not necessarily better.
CRY MORE
@@gknkrnkjgjugjrgjrng you too
@@gknkrnkjgjugjrgjrng😂😂 what
@@gknkrnkjgjugjrgjrng stop whining .
This video is really good. I hope I can show this to my parents. I'm a MBBS doctor nd I love my career. But my older brother was forced to do mechanical engineering by my father thinking it's easy to do. He started getting backlogs so they changed his branch to electrical engineering. He took 5-6 years to finish just a diploma. Nd couldn't get a job afterwards and COVID hit so that really impacted him mentally. First I thought he was depressed so I took him to see a psychiatrist but he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He said that he keeps thinking how he's a disappointment nd everyone around him talks down on him. Now he's on meds nd doing local business but It just hurts how everything was so forced to him that he had developed psychosis. I feel like it's my fault because I couldn't say anything when I was a teenager when he was forced for engineering. People always compare us siblings nd it really hurted him.
That is the most worst thing our parents do compare you to literally everyone
Virtual Hugs to your older brother. He deserves all the happiness.
I am really feeling bad for you brother, my mother suffered from psychosis last 3 years and I know how much worse it is. I hope your brother get well soon.
After seeing the way my parents behaved with me I am disgusted with the concept of being a parent. I don't ever wanna have a kid and become a parent. It was such a damaging life filled with abuse and gaslighting that I'm now convinced that parenthood is the shittiest thing that can happen in my life!!!
Me too, i fear marriage looking at my parents, I would rather adopt if i ever want.. rn I wanna be financially independent for that.
same
I too had a similar experiences...not this bad but suffering from bad parenthood motivates me more to have a kid and raise him right being a good parent
Same dude I don't want to pass that generational trauma to any child.
The sum of all things can be into one line by Zakir Khan on Indian parenting as Indian parents apne baccho ko pankh to dena chahte hai but unhe udna nai dena chahte
Agar use gaye tho unhe kaun dekhega..ye hai unka soch
Haaa bas apna sochte hain... Many times children get suffocated
Thank god my dad is chill he literally told me do whatever you want even after I dropped out of high school and now im running the family business 😊
Nah dude please donot mind but you might have been made to go for the family business. Still, it's great. All the best for your future
I am girl I want to be an only fans creator but my bastard parents told me that I am characterless . Now I am willing to leave my house and be an online sex worker .😊
@@rytfrommarsactually the opposite he wanted me to get a job but I was like fk it business it is
kya life h , bhadia
Family business is anytime good
Was a topper in school, topped the school twice in up boards, cleared iit, even graduated from iit but no one in family was ever happy with my achievements, no praise or anything was ever given. So i gave up. Now i am pursuing the goal of being an independent creator.
I know how that feels. No appreciation, no praise which doesn't even cost them a single penny for this but they don't do that because it's *expected* of you to do well in your academics. Sucks
But I hope you do well in your chosen career.
He is clearly lying bro😂
no one will be happy if you go to iit dholakpur
Maybe your parents wanted you to be a UA-camr
True
I remember those days when I came 4th in my class in my 10th board with 86% in Odisha board. Highest was 90% in our school. But my father was never happy about it. He used to scold me why I came 4th. For almost a month I was thinking of suicide. Thank God I didn't chose it. Same happened when I passed 12th. But due to jaundice and typhoid I had scored low. Again I had thought of suicide. He had forced me to join Engineering but I had other plans and never discussed with him. Within a year I joined service and started making money. From my salary 90% is used for family expenditure. I stay away from my family. Still my opinions are rejected by my father. Coz I am 23 years old. And I have no experience. I pay school fees of my siblings. I'm literally saving only ₹1500 from my ₹45000. Yet I have no value. He rejects my opinions always. Whenever I go home and get rejected by father I feel useless. I had no intention to stay apart from my parents but my father's attitude is forcing me to purchase land somewhere else and settle down.
1500 out of 45000 is crazy man, you need to discuss this with parents, somehow, you still have time
you are just 23,
Dude i am 25 -MBBS & JOBLESS and belive me, you are Still young and yet being able to pay for other family member's expenses is the most mature 'Father thing' you are practicing.
Your father is an ASshole. He should learn something from you.
Stop paying for your family right now this is exploitation stay away and dont come home for some months they will try to guilt trap you but you have to stay focused . Do not let anyone take advantage of you be it your family or relatives
It's honestly so noble of you to pay back to the family who raised you, but respect goes where respect comes. By the sound of it, I don't think he's a respectable dad
Dude you need to save least 15000to20000 for your future
For those of you wondering "toppers must be lucky" NO THEY'RE NOT (not everyone at least)... its all good when you are consistently working hard and the outcome is steady. if you mess up your academics even once, your parents will constantly lash on you for it. all the guilt-tripping and instead of actually finding out the reason, they blame things like friends, tv, etc and you have no idea how emotionally crippling all of it sounds. its like you're all alone. when you do good, they take the credit saying "i knew you would do good" but when you mess up, you can imagine what they'd say
🙌..
My parents tried to control me in every thing but being the kind of person im i never listened to them and after a point of time my parents didn't bother with whatever i did
same though my mother was able to make peace with me
while my father still hopes I will know one day that his way is the right way
Same. But I used to listen to them until I realized that they were simply wrong and so I rebelled. My parents did their best to make me do what they like and even went to such expents to disown me and threaten to kick me out, but they gave up deeming me a failure.
@@idonotdosarcasm and how did that turned out?
@@anishsingh2848 Going through what all my parents did to me gave me severe mental health issues (while seems to be fine now); keeping that part of my past aside, I will say my life has been better than ever.
Seeing my better life my parents pretend as if nothing ever happened, and admittedly, they seem to have changed a bit, but I overheard them a few times saying that I am still a disappointment who cannot have a good future.
@@idonotdosarcasm happy for you man
saying this as a random internet person who you will never hear from again
Good luck, and I hope you prosper and things go even better for you
i haven't even watched the video yet and i agree.
lol true
the title alone made me go YESS
haha true 😭😂
It was difficult but at 24 I decided that I don't want to fulfill my father's dream, and live a life by my own terms. Its been 2 years now and somehow he still thing's that fulfilling his dream Is my life's eventual purpose on this planet. This video hits hard. Unfortunately the solutions are tried but don't work.
Parents impose their unfulfilled selfish desire on their children
Good! Everyone should focus on their dreams instead of doing someone's dream
That's absurd
Real bro I'm 19 and I realized it that should focus on my dream 😊
when they didn't ask for our permission to be born, why should we care about their dreams?
my father is a righteous man, honest to the bone, and lives within means, I am 45 so he is 70. but when I was growing up, he was an incredibly difficult parent, he used to be a textbook bully when it comes to parenting.
hitting children in late 80s or early 90s was a norm. those were days of scarcity. Jobs were everything., But it did took a toll on me, I was an introvert, bullied and low esteemed..
My father still lives with me, I have a daughter, she has the freedom in the world to choose what she wants to study, when the time comes she will have freedom to take all important decisions. My job is to provide her what she wants.
my childhood was not bad because I had a loving mother, she never cared for my grades, loved me unconditionally. made me better men. I have no malice in my head because those intentions were honest.
So this is like revenge sue for damage
Abusers often hide behind religion. I've seen this countless times.
What Society think Students want 👇
Gaming Gadgets
Branded Clothes
Fast Food
What they Really want
👇
Good Home Made Food
Outdoor - Play Play Play + some indoor Play
Good Sleep
Little bit of Study in Peaceful Way
u can do little bit of study and pass. Bt there are others who always do too much study. And in the end due to less marks u will get bad college. Where chances of getting job is less. PPL now looks for skills. But unfortunately PPL who actually score good marks they are the only one who are good in skills. And it's proven. Ppl who get less marks are actually are good in other things where in society u get less money. And for sports, films, singing, modeling these things u need so much money than education and luck and sometimes compromise.
Disagree
@@Dattebayo3089 I don't understand the logic behind this whole "skill vs degree/college" logic.... like everyone keeps saying "skill matters college doesn't" but how come they think that the people sitting in good colleges are not upskilling themselves... if you're from a tier 1 college you'll get opportunities relatively easier than say a tier 3 college student... and college is not something which is inherited, people work hard, crack entrances and get their desired colleges... feel free to disagree...
society thinks because most of the students want these things only.. also add
Getting into relationshits
Social Media Followers
Distance from studies and hardwork
@@swastik2207 read my comment once again. I said same thing there. 99% times topper will always achieve good.
When parents arent happy with you even getting more than 90%, you just give up because you will never be able to make them happy
I am 17 y/o soon turning 18 and asked my parents to give ne permission to become a creator and first they were against that but i was able to prove them that i am good in understanding youtube algorithm and instagram algorithm, so they allowed me to do it for 1 year! I am already seeing some results and soon will start making money. Now they are quite concerned that will i be able to make it or not so they asked me to give time to coding and learning AI! So let's see, how it goes! Please prove them first that you are actually good at something and there is scope in the space!
See you on the top my friends 🚀
Yup that's the correct way. My parents wanted me to go into medical and until lockdown I was supposed to take that (lockdown was after my 12th exam). But lockdown gave me enough time to think and on the 3rd month of lockdown (on June mid or end) I said I want to pursue something I like which is Coding and explained everything. And they agreed at the end, they bought me a laptop next month itself (btw I have been asking for a computer since 7th or 8th but never got. Now I know why, I failed to make them understand why I needed it).
Skip to today I am a web developer at a company, salary is less but that's ok since I also did an internship in that company itself. I am confident in my skills, but since I lost a lot of time I need to try hard and stay ahead.
Anyways I am currently happy and many of my colleagues don't like hard work and the reason is simple they are not passionate.
Anyways the moral of the story, just make your parents understand what and why you need something. They are not devils, they will understand if you have the passion and resolve for it
@@alok.01 i am so happy for you, just stay ahead in the market by learning about AI and you will be able to make enough while doing what you love!
This problem is quite big in India, i was not able to convince ny parents at first because i have always failed in what i have did in my life, i had did multiple side hustles during my school years like starting a gaming channel, NFT, Instagram theme pages, stock market, freelancing, video editing and now it is all paying off because i am trying to become a creator, i had so much time during lockdown but i wasted it playing free fire all day long. You were smart enough to do that, and i was a big fool to not see the opportunity! Anyway i have completed my 12th and i am glad that my parents have given me some time because i proved them that i am worthy of becoming a creator and it has a future in it!
Best of luck for you future, may your all dreams come true 🤜🤛🔥🔥
@@rachitbhati1 are u rachit murudkar?
Hahaha I remember when i was 18. I was much smarter. Wish i knew this. Times fly. Can’t believe its been over 6 years
@@Rishi2015 yeah man, it does
I thank myself for being the rebel kid. Now for most parts, I try to explain them as much as possible.
They kinda trust me because I landed a job at a startup and earned well than anyone in the peers.
I’ve told them I’m not here to do better than someone but will do what feels right for me.
As I have observed, the only thing parents control is the financial part and once the child becomes financially independent and now doesn’t need permission for everything they would be in shik shak shok
Please tell me which job did you land and what did you do to get it
Hi AevyTV team, Can we change the thumbnail of the video. It is showing toxic dads in the thumbnail. However, both mom and dad or any one of them can be toxic. We cannot generalize that only dads in the indian families are toxic.
Yeah they changed the thumbnail and title from toxic parents to toxic dads
"The root cause of every problem starts at home" I don't remember who quoted this but that's what I think is true in most of the cases. People don't realise it but having the backing of parents (clear cut understanding and constant withstanding) is already a great advantage in life.
But also I want to give out some advice to my generation that plz try to revitalize yourself from your parents' shadow. Don't fight them, be a better parent to your future generations that will be a much more satisfying outcome.
For example look at Priyanka Chopra . She always keeps praising her parents for her success . They are the backbone of her success . She is thriving in her personal life also .
If I will forward this video to my parents, they will say "Ye sab kya dekh raha h, padai chor kar?" 🙂
Exactly
I agree 😢
My parents forced me into engineering and I always have to lie to them about my whereabouts and my relationship they will never accept the concept of love or dating and even career wise they will never be welcoming of me working at a startup they would rather force me into some mass recruitment through college placements .They never understand or even try to see things from my point of view they always take harsh actions on me never let me go out on my own and explore the actual world I am a third year student 21 years old and still they cannot even let me go anywhere on my own they pick me from college and drop me everywhere and being a girl so many more restrictions are put on me i cant go out with friends past 6 o clock and i am jealous of everyone their parents are chill and also very understanding of them i wish one day my parents will also understand me
Work hard they'll get to know
i feel so bad abt your situ
I have an advice for you
Whatever you do in your life
Do it with Responsibility
It could sound harsh but that's the only way you can do currently till our education system changes
Once you started doing it for some time
Then your parents will start to understand you can take care of yourself atleast in some basic thing's
managing money more responsibly, time punctuality, more responsible decisions, etc
Not everything in this world comes under your management but you can manage your mind, body
It is sad , but something's never change. If you really love something - fight for it , it may come at the cost of your parents hating you , but maybe one day seeing you happy may finally reconcile them with you
@@Priyaykanth2 yes i agree with you thanks for the advice
i am in 12th , will be giving my jee next year , yesterday i told my parents tht the indian education system is bad , and they got so offended , we literally had a fight
you can't take on the system as whole, you gotta worked through/around it.
I hope the recent NEET scam changes their mind.
Listen there's nothing wrong with being engineer, doctor, etc. But if you don't want to then you should think of other ways
@@MedinipuriTuka036 being force to be one, or rather anything is bad. even if i might choose to be an engineer i would want to be forced for it.
Thank Fully, my parents didn't ever force me to enter a field, heck when I didn't get the college I wanted in my 12th they allowed me to take a drop and never really cared about my marks the only thing was pass with 70-80% and done they were happy, my dad also bought me the ps4 when i got 84% in my 7th.
baap ha ya bhagwan 😅😅 Good for you bro
damn rich parentss
Kash ayse maa baap bhagwan sabko dee
Nice dad
@@FushiguroTojizenin rich and relax attitude parents .
It's sad for me that i feel like i had the worst parenting and most toxic childhood, teenage and adulthood. No matter how i look at it... nothing compares to this pain that i feel.
😢😢sameee
Indian parents are damaged and they took no responsibility to change. Stop pleasing your parents and you will be happy
Same
I'M 20, I'm topper, i want to do job but , my father forcefully arranged my marriage .. i tried to make him understand but ... nahi samjh rahe kuch bhi... gher s chala jaunga, jher kha lunga, esi dhamkiyo k aage jhukana pada,
Jo jo unhone kaha vo vo kara... kabhi kuch unki marzi k khilaf nahi kiya... kabhi unka trust nahi toda... fir bhi....
"Es gher m tera h kya????
Tera bahar kuch chal raha hoga..
Umar ho gyi h teri shadi ki
Job ka kya karoge??? Jab koi shadi k liy milega hi nahi
You’re a woman or man?
What the fuck? Who gets married at 20? Which era is your father from?
Do Not relent. Use the same threats that He uses on you, back at Him. If that doesn't work, say that you'll openly say that the Marriage was forced, in front of the Public. He won't be able to do anything, and I'm speaking from Personal Experience (except - in my case, it was My Mother, and they're as aggressive as Fathers in our area).
Look, it is your Life. Value that first and foremost, then give priority to your relations, because you yourself have to be alive and healthy in order to care for your relations. Be Cold and Heartless with them, do Not fall for their subsequent sweet talk. They may get physically aggressive, but don't lose your Courage. Fighting forward is your only way of survival, though I wish with all my heart that it was much easier for you.
Rajasthani?
some people who say 'my parents are perfect' maybe unconsciously ignoring thier toxicity. or feels like that's normal
That's a nice point . Many aren't either aware or they think it's normal but some are really blessed to have nice parents .
It was the kind of video i didn't want to watch but I needed to watch. Thanks Aevy.
i am 32 and unemployed, and i want any kind of decent job so i can get out of my parents house. i don't cares about passion or interest anymore.
AEVY TV : Think twice before listening to parents
Also AEVY TV : Calls youtube channel a startup , sell course video editing .....
And your problem is?
I didn't get you
bro's onto nothing
Hundreds of students trained and placed. It is a startup providing real jobs - please take a look at our placement report. You are still stuck in the old mindset that a UA-cam channel cannot create distribution for a startup or create impact and value. Shows you are still stuck in the stone ages.
@@aevytvrelax bro! He might be in some bad mood.
Use gpt to convert your comments more polite
Aevy TV has very well realized that Achina should be the face of their videos to get more Engagement!
It’s her channel :p
🔥@@aevytv
Coz she is a good host and articulates well
I was been bullied in my school for 10 years.And I did not tell my parents because I knew that they won't care about these things.I want to do study and practice about share market but I cannot pursue that because my parents think that it is wrong in my religion because it involves intrest.I tried to educate my parents but here I am working in corporate sector from 2 years.I go to mental counselling 2 times every month because I cannot tell my parents what pressure I get in the corporate world and it has effected my mental health and that is why I have mental counselling every month 2 times. Now I feel the importance of good parenting. Thanks Aevy TV to bring up this video. Aevy TV is a vibe ❤️ .
👏..
Just do share market and don't tell your parents about it 8t can all be done on your laptop anyway!
I'm 18 and I'm still mocked for telling others in my childhood 12 to 15 years ago that i want to become a doctor. And I didn't take up Bio in 11th
3-5 years down the line, no one gives a shit. Don't worry too much!
Stay away from people who try to crush your dreams
@@kiranpandiyan159 yes and I ignore all of them
@@GovindkumarRao123 yup. It's hard to manipulate me 👌
@@rytfrommarsyou didn't take up bio cause you got mocked..
an entire freakin Village mocked my father when he said he wanted to become a doctor. he went on to be in a very high position and let me study whatever the hell i want.
the interest in medicine and science seems to be genetic. i ended up becoming a doctor too, he asked if i wanted to go towards engineering or any other branch. i like science and he was like fine then, you have to work hard though.
you don't have to care about what others say to you. you have to focus on what you like
Most of us will never send this to our parents. Rather, we will understand our parent's perspectives and try to adjust. Love is a strange thing.
Honestly not sharing this because I don't think they want to change. Plus I'd be scared of their reactions and how they'd bring it back up in a future argument
Lmao "love"
Even if u share they will say this video is wrong
If we do Not have the freedom to send this to our Parents, then there is No Love between us and them - only a farce of a relation exists for the sake of society.
P.S. : The First and most essential form of Love is healthy Self-Love (and Self-Respect).
All this people in comments are crazy, parents are also humans they also need love. Complaining about each every so called wrong parenting is a immature thing.
In 19 years of my life I think parents are not toxic they just don't want to see you do anything unique...
Actually, no. They just want to see you do what they think is better, and a lot of times, it is just the non-unique thing. They do not care researching if their idea is really good or not they will just force you into it.
Sir usse hee toxicity kehte hai😅
No one is truly unique in this world
Better yet, they wanted you to choose safe option.
@@kiranpandiyan159 *option which they think is safe.
It does not matter if the option is safe or not
I suffer from anxiety and anger issues, my parents wanted me to become a doctor when they saw me read an encyclopedia as a kid, I was an under achiever in school and so how made it last school and paid medical seat for BDS. Took many years to pass the course got out in the real world to realise there is no salary for this job.
Got depressed and went to Another country thinking this is it for me, failed again ( covid time)
Came back to India 🇮🇳
Still searching for myself from the fragments that still define me. 😢
Thank you
Wow! Same situation I am in. Hope we float through this.
The problems with adults is that they don't even know what they are doing. They are so oblivious of the fact that it is very hard for someone to unlearn somethings once they are taught that in their growing years.
Son of narcissistic father and emotionally unavailable mother 🙋🏻 attendence ----->
me bro me
@@TalkingSketches is your father a narcissist
The irony here is that this video will reach and watched by us (The child) and not the parents, I don't know how to express myself to my parents, heck I can't even make them watch this video because when they will not understand your english and ask me what is it about I will not be able to explain them without crying or being awkward.
Write a letter to them with translation and wait for the reaction, try to sneak in that letter of emotions you have for them, just an opinion*
the video moved me to tears,today was 12th board results and i didnt achive their desired goal(got 82%) and my parents were on and on about their sacrifices while discarding my improvements throughout the academic year,i know that i am going to reach the final rank i desire by securing better marks at the competitive exam,hence y Im keeping my head down till the final results...
I’m sorry to hear about this. I was in same boat i got 70% in my 12th. Parents and family confirmed that i will be a failure. Today i’m 30 and i’m a manager for machine learning and data at the big 4 consulting in Canada! The name of the game is never give up, your dreams and goals for a happy and peaceful life is more important than your parents and their opinions. Me and my wife are happy and cut them off our life for the last 5 years. Never give up my friend!
Hey just to make you feel better.
I got like 60% in class 12 and almost failed in chemistry. Today I earn more than my peers who got 98%
I used whatever freedom i got in college to pursue my interests and start making money asap. Now I write for two major international news outlets and have my own media business. Don't give up. 12th marks don't matter. I landed my first job not because I had great makes in class 12 but because I had a great portfolio showcasing my talent that I built while in college. Focus on skills.
@@nothanks0009 congratulations on your work!!...ive got similar plans too,just trying to get into their ideal university and after tht ill pursue my interests hidden and will show wt i want to do after graduation,your story is really inspiring pal!!! thanks alot for telling!
I am facing the same problem I got 72.5
I had to get 75 due to jee but now I have to give it in July. I could see on my parents face they didn't like my efforts at all. They didn't even say a word to me after the results came out
You made a biggest lie as a basis of your video: ie. Statistics.
Statistical anomalies have a reason too...
This video couldn't have come at a better time then this! I am in process of getting married and facing some issues with my parents. Thank you for the insight that negotiate is the key!
Best thing is to move out with your new spouse and don't let your parents interfere in your married life or else you'll keep suffering
the emotional control is so true i just passed out 12th grade and gave my JEE mains and now preparing for MHT-CET all of this under the pressure of my parents they are by no means restrictive or even strict but that unspoken expectation and guilt is just to much to handle at this point i have been studying for 2 1/2 without any breaks or holidays and i am at the point of depression and not being able to even focus on anything i NEED a break and i am completely burned out but when i say this words to my parents they just call me lazy 😢
Hey man listen up .
I've been all through it buddy ,i know how hard it is .
I can advise you to chill yourself up , keep studying but don't base your entire life over it.
Be optimistic about future, god has planned so many miracles for you .
Trust me , I'm speaking from experience.
@@yatendraupadhyay2180 thanks bro needed these words of Encouragement
This is the best video made by Aevy TV till now.
I’m 30 yes old, married and onto starting a new business rn with my 3 friends. Everyday I’ve to fight with my parents, my wife, even with my friends whom I thought would support me but they don’t. After convincing them for last 1 year, *My parents* agreed to let me start my own business along with my friends that too on this condition that I’ll take sabbatical from my job and not entirely leave my job. Can you believe it! A 30 yr old adult wants to start a business with his own friends, with his own money and still seeking the validation of his parents.
I think the mindset, behaviour of our parents is the outcome of the society that we grew up in. Being from a middle class joint family, advice of relatives, neighbours and friends mattered more to our parents than our own likes and dislikes.
Sorry not 32 . 30 age .
I'm happy because this will be the last generation our parents belong to
17:00 she thinks we can argue with our parents 💀
Aur kya fir? Courage nahi hai?
@@HarshJain-sl6pq personally mere parents toh modern hai aur typical parents jaise nahi hai but i was talking about the generwl populace
@@RandomEdits-t8k Yaar, thik hai sorry..🙌
@@HarshJain-sl6pq koi Baat nahi it's fine
Choose Peace over Happiness
Choose Moderate Success over Success.
Sucess over happiness.
Mine valued neither......
They sabotaged my career to try and force me into an arranged marriage i never agreed to.
Ay same feeling bro, same feeling.
Same situation, forced career, forced arrange marriage.
Atleast me and my fiance bond very well because she is also victim of DESI Parents😅.
Same here. They (mostly, the Mother. Father was a lot better) sabotaged My Career, My Extra-Curriculars, My Friend Circle and basically My Self-esteem. I used to be the one who was passionate about all of these, and a top-scorer (95% and above in Academics) and always used to win laurels in multiple extra-curriculars. I have a Degree and Masters from 2 Premier Institutions of India, and a relevant professional skill-set. All of these, after hailing from a financially hard, Emotionally and physically Unsafe Childhood. Every single thing .....
....... Except Confidence. I don't know if I'll be able to go back to my old high energetic self. Ever. I feel perpetually tired to my bones every single day.
Except, I have successfully resisted Forced Arranged Marriage until now, and even broke one openly. When I am suffering myself, how can I sustain a Marriage and its responsibilities. I guess there is still some fire left in me.
YES.SHORT ANSWER HELL YES THEY ARE VERY TOXIC
The fact that every two minutes of this video, I felt the need to share the link with my parents, but talking myself out of it because I knew they would not take any of this in its intended meaning.
I really hope this video gets the reach it deserves. This things really needs to get heard! Absolutely my core believes and strategies to combat with the Indian Parents Mindet that I've been try to decode and experimenting with since long ago and this video resonates with my findings very precisely.
I really really really wished this video was in Hindi so that it could be absorbed directly by the parental audience. Sometimes children dont receive any seriousness despite having data and logic on their side. The default most of the time with Indian parents is "They know better" which links back to deep rooted ego and rigidity.
But when the same message gets delivered by someone else (preferably of their age group) it instantly becomes a consideration for them.
Yeah we need an Hindi version of this vid FR
But sometimes, its not abt a job... In some societies, girls are encouraged to study only for good "rishtas" In the future... I'm a bsc microbiology student but nearly my whole life i have been in love with history, i wanted to become an archeologist but i wasn't allowed to go for it and pushed into science. At first i didn't understand why my father would this to me but later i understood that having an arts degree would be problematic in the future while he'll looking for a suitable husband for me. Even though he sugar-coats his words really well, i see right through them. And as i never had much interest in science, i never really scored the top marks and then came the guilt-tripping abt how he's putting so much money in so that i get a good education. And cuz i all this i feel mein kidhar ki bhi nahi rahi... Nahi mujhe complete history knowledge hai aur nahi science ki. And i feel worthless. Like i don't have any real value. I have lost my own self respect...
One More thing in Earlier Times Joint Family 👪 System was there to help them
But now Society has become More Money Oriented & Doesn't know how to make & manage things Better
I am not saying if Family is Toxic you should leave with them
You can get apart from them
Now People have Choice in this
But I will say before moving out try to solve issues if issues didn't solved after applying all ways then move away
But Currently People start thinking of getting apart from Childhood & Parents, School doesn't teach us - How bundle of Sticks are more stronger than Single Stick
They teach in Books not on Ground Level
One more thing Because of Huge Population we don't have much space for bigger Houses & People didn't get Privacy easily
When my younger brother (at that time 12) got 60% grades, my father handed him a dish, some torn clothes and asked him to get out of the house and beg on the streets because according to him, that is where he belonged. Thankfully my mother let him in later. When I was in1st Standard, my father beat me brutally because I wasn't good in English. Eventually I scored good grades, and then he said beating me on one day improved grades. In 4th class he sent me to tuitions, despite the fact that my grades were the best in class. Same in 7th class. Never let us play with other kids. He only drove us to a cricket club two summers in our life, yet he keeps highlighting it for the rest of our life. At the age of 15 and 16 I had increased interest in Mathematics and research in it, but my father hated this because he thought it came in my way against other subjects. So he beat me regularly so that I avoid it. At the same time, he forced me to sleep a max of 4 hours, and stay awake to study for the rest of the hours. My concentration power dwindled, and eventually I got 4% less than what my experienced Teachers predicted. Although everyone was impressed, my father was angry and hated my results (94%). In 11th class and 12th class he forced me to join IIT JEE coaching (when I didn't even know what the f that means). When my brother (convinced by my father that engineering is the only way to survive), said he would be okay with studying Mechanical, he said by studying mechanical, you can only become household mechanic, and that he should rather choose Computer Science Engineering. Eventually we decided to escape the competition and go to Europe to study. Here we studied Computer Science, and he didnt have to pay more than 5 L for each of us (the rest 10 L each being loan, which we brothers repaid). Yet today he claims he was so good to us, that he paid so much money for our studies. Nonsense. He paid for us less than what other parents spent on engineering fees. We paid for our living expenses with the help of jobs. With the attitude "Log kya kahenge", he never told them that we earned our own money, and instead told everyone that he paid for us 1 Cr each. Eventually, we invited him to graduation, hoping he'd have gotten better, but wrong. Despite his initial acceptance to the relationship of my brother, he forced us to kick his gf out of the apartment. He said he owns us and everything that we have, until we have fully paid back the education loan, on which he was the co-borrower. He (and our mother) emotionally manipulated us and guilt tripped us to coerce us to do this. When that did not work, they started making the drama of getting heart-attack, so we eventually had to give up. After 3 months I was finally eligible to get a personal loan in Europe. Got it immediately, and without informing him, paid it in its entirety. Now I have broken all the communication and have sworn never to see their faces ever again. And yes, my mother always supported this monster. For all the things that they did for us (financial), I pay them a pension which is enough to live very well, but I have learned how NOT to be a parent.
Takes courage to cut ties, hope you have a better life ahead!!
thats sad man sending a hug and prayers for you stay healthy
Omg I hope ur doing best in ur life
Once my mom told me how my nani and my father didn't want me because i was a girl but she still had me...and then went on to say how she shouldn't have done it......i was probably only 14-15....it still flashes in my mind, i can never forget it......the amount of verbal abuses I've gone through it's just so hard to forget it and follow my parents orders! The constant Shaming and abuses has impacted me so much that no matter what my parents do I can't not hate them for giving me so much trauma ....
Btw, why do they still complain if you're a girl? And why they abuse you?
great video, i relate to it so much. i have my jee advanced (iit-jee) after 4 days... how do i make this appear on my parents fyp 😭
Maybe my parents tried to control me but it sudden changed when i started to badmouthing on them, i will tell in short,my childhood was mostly alone no friends to play ,fear of parents-teacher meetings, no thinking, decision taking mechanism etc...then a friend who has more experience related issues he started to have conservations with me felt happy then started taking medicine (by discussing about issues , solution etc) ...A worst time at ganesh chaturthi were he left saying you wont able to live malhar in shorts its impossible to get removed from this situation he left me and after i started crying then it ignitied my angerness and agitation aganist parents ,started to disrespect against them ,started to correct then about their mistakes ,started to take own well researched decision, forcing them to listen, giving them realisation of present situations and bruh im happy with mine life😊
And those who are reading for them
By looking others situation mine parents are best except they did biggest mistake that they didn't taught independent thinking and keeping own opinion but yes I successfully reversed this mistake ...from experience I will say have guts to speaks truth (even they hurts them badly{topics related to like relationship, education and own personal interests} ),try to force them unbaised disscusions ,try to them realites such explaining job marks using present era employement reports ,never take extreme decisions or behave in extreme manner (until they tries to undermine your respect {till it feels toxic}),try to develop skills of managing worst and normal situation in life ,have willingness to take risk ,take own responsibilities,never be insecure, accept independence of mind( till such level that parents won't be there at everytime or no one is here keeping relationship with you)have willingness to develop critical thinking, willingness to take own responsibility, willingness to work silently (or asper situation aspects)
These solutions whichever I implemented...thank you
About my education interests
My family wants to pursue engineering because new branch has added (AIDS) so that's why(I won't have problem with them because I choosed with mine own interests) but reality is I want to become mangaka comic writer ( means I want to write comics on my own life) I'm feeling that having degree in animation would help,so in next I'm going to apply animation classes to see I'm interested or not ,if yes I'm planning to give ceed examination and Target will be....😅(Sorry I can't share) If I got that college addmission i would convince my parents,if they didn't then fine😅😂I will pursue at 32-33 before marriage because I know responsibility increases ,it's better I should pursue before these things ....so I will say try to take good things on my experience thanku 😊
Do i love my parents: Yes
Do i want to move out of my parents house: Yes
Tbh I always feel angry inside when I remember that my parents forced me in to science field with the hopes that I would become a computer engineer where as I always wanted to be in finance field 😭
I didn't listened to them and i was arguing with them to make me choose commerce because i have interest in it. Even though i did terrible in the exams, they allowed me to take commerce but only for one condition that i have to do CA after 12th. I have completed my 12th exams on 27th march and have convinced them to let me become a creator because i proved them i understand social media in general. You have to fight for your dreams and prove that you know something about that field!
@@rachitbhati1 for me my exams got over last week only
@@rachitbhati1 I hope u could become what u want to be in life but I would warn u that the field of media is a field which is very very difficult to find success in 🥲👍🏽
@@eliteffsquadron9932 good, was that 12 board ?
Bhai Mera toh ulta hai shit
I'm from an upper middle class family. Money was never really an issue but my mother wanted to control me and my life so that I would be "successful" and she could boast about me to her family.
After taking my time and hitting a good balance with my mental health... I am finally able to realise that even my parents are humans. I don't know if I'll be able to ever fully let go of my childhood traumas but I am trying to carve out my slice of connection with them. Ironically it is by getting my own place, which my parents don't know yet. But little by little I am opening up more to my parents and having relatively healthier discussions than before....I'm hoping to tell them about my new place and the reason I got it very soon...
It has been a long journey and still a very long way to go. Taking small steps forwards one at a time..
Thank you for this amazing video. Kudos to the entire team. U are doing some amazing work here which I personally resonate with a lot.
I wish you would have made this video in Hindi so I could have shown it to my parents, they don't understand English enough that's why. I have mental problems like social anxiety, depression and because of this I now have severe OCD. Thx to my parents. I'm am 27 and I can't do basic task like buying grocery or even my own food. I always was introvert but as time passes by I got social anxiety.
When I was younger I would at least go outside make friends and play and have fun together, nowadays I don't even pickup my own phone when it's ringing. I always was confident but my parents ruined it by there extreme controlling behaviour.
But at least one thing stick with me all this time, I was always a rebel and never listened to them, but it only worked in my younger days of life, when I get older those things they used to say to me become taunts and started hurting my feelings.
I'm going to university in less than a month at the age of sixteen, and the main thing my parents are concerned about is, "You're looking at your phone all day, how are we supposed to believe that you'll study properly once you leave the house?"
Lmao damn sure if i send it to my dad i’ll be told how this manipulates me
Generational trauma, narrow mindedness, society's influence, the urge to make their kid better than their peer's all add up to this
During our parent's parents times, the only thing that mattered was to get out of the agricultural field, leave the countryside and get a good job anywhere in the city, passion or following your dream was not an option and didn't matter, so this cycle continued down to our generation. But parents don't understand that the occupational field is so much more diverse than it was, they refuse to beleive that anything besides engineering and medicine is a worthy job. They don't have awareness about the diversity of the jobs available and possible growth in that job. Moreover this is the same mindset of the society as well, if by luck your parents are liberal, the society will somehow convince them to make u pursue the so called prestigious careers
As you said, the generational cycle, i think this has created a social hierarchy now, and we need to break it when WE become parents
Seemed like a very personal video, probably the most personal one so far. Hit hard. Need more content like this. Real issues, conveyed well and authentically.
This was great honestly
I'll love to see a video going deeper about the emotional connection with parents like in the skit at the start too
Probably the least researched video by Aevy. Your other videos are a lot better than this but keep up the good work!
I feel there is a certain age till which proper guidance and supervision is required, and during that time parents have to equip their kids with all skills, wisdom and sanskaar required for a mindful life. After that, experiences by the kid shapes their further journey. Although, parents need to be available for support and guidance when asked for. And need to sometimes crack a whack here and there. But otherwise, best parenting is judged when they teach the kids how to excel in life without parents help and support. Thats positive parenting. Also, its written in Gita that kids owe nothing to their parents for raising them, as its their duty and not a favor. Parents purpose to make kids should be to further their lineage, and not to support them in their old age.
Because parents especially Father always sees his son as an investment , and daughter as a liability 👈
Also we are far far behind as far as social infrastructure is concerned compared to advance countries . In India children rely heavily on parents so if parents ditch u , u have nowhere to go , no help . We in India simply have no / zero well regulated child care / welfare authorities . Also no safety net / support socio economic ecosystem for the child or young parents unlike in the Developed countries.
my relationship with my father has been rocky. it was quite cold and distant. as i grew up and started living away from home, he gradually progressed into thinking of me as an individual with her own set of beliefs and hopes and aspirations. he sympathised with me and in fact felt sorry for me for situations he could have been otherwise angry about.
It's all about the expectations they put in you, all they say is, "Sirf padhai karne se kahi pohochne wale ho" this mindset keeps you inside a box and not let you escape the rat race and the cycle goes on.
It is the safest and surest way to success. Being a middle class child you do not have the independence to do whatever. Your family could suffer because of your bad choices .
Wohi to problem hai... Papa ne diya bhi hadd se zyada hai but unhone expect bhi hadd se zyada kiya hai..😢
When I share my opinion which contadict his thought means I'm going against him and after marriage everything has changed😢😢😢
only if my parents were understanding enough to watch this video logically . i am 19 just my jee results came it was 92.77% , yes i couldn't clear it but reason they gave me that i lack "junoon" for success and be mediocre throughout my life , i have never been to a friends birthday dont have my personal phone untill i was 19 dont talk to my only friend cuz my father wouldn't like that , deprived of social connection gained 20kg in last year while preparing for jee metally fucked , socially fucked , on daily basis have sucidal thoughts , saturday and sundays are worst for me cuz my father is at home . I was once tolled by my mother in a neutral manner(for her) that i will never crack a govt job . even tough i dont have any plan to do govt job i will clear one and burn the result in house then will go on to do what I like so they wont be able to say i do what i do because i couldn't have i good job . In no way they want bad for me but all these give me serious anger issues and sleepless nights for past year i have been using earphones and fun podcast to fall sleep , no worries i took my anger for today out in this comment box ✌ I HAVE MORE TO SCREAM BUT I WON'T CUZ NO ONE GIVES A CRAP
I'm preparing for neet but my passion's are art and cooking and they never encouraged me. In my school i loved bio and for that sake i took medical as a stream but now i realized how much of fool i was but my parents have warned me this is my first and last attemp or i have to do whatever they want me to do , plus i have 'OCD' and handling this situation is so damn freaking me out.
Help !
As someone with OCD too, I can understand that.
Though I'm college passout (engineering obviously) and started working from 2022, all I can say is, Life is tough, you gotta learn to fight and adapt.
quite emotional topic. It's not just about career choice.
The social pressure that our parents get from the society, and sharma ji ka larka is immense,but in the long run, changing perspective of socity will may change parenting behaviour outcasting the sharma ji ka larka effect. Avey tv videos are one of the stepping stones which can potentially dimnish the sharma ji ka larka effect.😊
Those people's who got married because of money and looks how can they be good parents
I have a great idea - don't have children. 😉
Wish this video existed 14-15 Years ago
i am currently in class 12....my parents want to be chill but they want me to act according to my full potential. they want me to score highest grades and if i don't they do not shout at me but they say one phrase "you did not understand your potential". honestly i can't blame them. i am definitely not an easy kid. i am impulsive and clueless. I never stick to a decision...honestly speaking i really don't know what i want to do in my career.there are so many options and in this day and age of AI.it is hard to predict the future and figure everything. as i am clueless i do not know what to do rather then to listen society
Parents of my friend sent him to rehab torture chambers even after he was sober just to assert dominance and control over him. He was broken internally and couldn't trust anyone in the world for years after coming from the years of turmoil of torture chambers. He told me, no one knows what kind of torture happens there, it's brutal and his parents knew that and still wanted him to suffer so that he could actually bend his knees and take an oath of complete subservience. I felt really bad for him. He already had been in depression and isolation for years and along with this trauma, it really changed his entire being. He literally was wandering like a broken soul for years but he continue to work on himself and finally restored his self-esteem, family relationships, career and social reputation. It had been very hard for him and I really admire his journey of strength and will. It was definitely very hard for him to forgive his parents after being subjected to paralysing tortures, suicide thoughts, predatory villains and parents full of animosity.
I am really glad for him to be able to live a better life now, but he still says that he cannot ever forget that and those scars still live inside of him in seldom nightmares and physiologically embedded traumas which he still is working to healing them.
Okay I know the video was great and informative, but I think the part of how to convince your parents can be elaborated upon. I have a few points, and hope you find them useful.
Note for Children/Kids:
1. Figure out fi your parents really love you or not. No, it doesn't mean if they give you attention or give you gifts or behave lovingly with you. Many times these things are expressions of love, but if your parents don't do these CLEAR acts of love, then don't think they don't love you. Do they give you food, water, shelter ( I know it's basic, but it's a start), do they give you good schooling, does your mom try to make your favourite food once in a while? Has your father bought you the shiny looking bicycle, or given you anything you wanted in your childhood, which some other kid had? I don't have many examples, but if your observant enough, and can see that in some way, your parents have tried to provide value to you, not just because your a marks scorer and a future source of income, but because you are their child, then I believe they do love you.
2. I can't say for sure how many parents exist which DONT love their child, but from here on, this message won't be applicable for them. However, if you think that your parents do love you in some sense, then you have a chance of negotiation, which was explained beautifully in the video. But here's the hard part. You need to be SURE of what you want to do in your career. And a firm believe that you will be able to do it, make a decent living out of it, and don't ask for too much, try and reach the middle ground. The best point could be time ( in years). Ex. 'I want to try and make a career in video editing, so I want to join this course, and try to give it 2 years time. If I am not able to do it, I will agree that I was wrong, and will be ready to do, whatever you want. But make sure if your parents can provide you with whatever you are negotiating with, without having a detrimental effect on them, like if your parents are 50-55, and you are asking 5-6 years, it may be a lot, as after 60, people generally like to retire. And make sure you have researched yourself so well that you don't need written points, where you can just speak facts with emotions. Have that much of depth, and please think over your personal career goals with depth, so you have the motivation to prove yourself, in the least.
3. Don't expect them to readily accept your decisions. If you are someone in school, then you still have time. Keep it a gradual process. Don't have a big fight on the same issue once, but have general disagreements once in a while, and always show that you still dream of becoming whatever you want to be, and show utmost confidence in your ability to become it.
4. This journey will be hard, as if you really care about your parents opinion, it's highly likely that you do love them, and hence you want them to love you too. It's psychology. But don't go back on your word for the hard times, stay firm on your choice and put in the work, efforts and hours and actually do make progress towards your goals. Progress, which they can see too.
I know this message may not be able to help a some people, maybe I was able to help others. But still, I hope everyone who read this till this point will live their dreams in the future, in their dream professions, and live a happy life too.
Thanks.
Thank you Darshil! Wonderfully put and super helpful
@@aevytv 😊 Thank you for putting up such great educational content too!
In the end, all they want is for us to be happy and secure. Look at the 2 mom's or 3 dads in America, India is better and will always be better
Aevy connects themselves with AI as no other creator I've seen and Achina's GIF's 😂 and other stock images were amazing.
#AevyIsAVibe
The problem with Indian parents is 'What next??' You complete 10th standard exams and then comes the question 'What next after 12th?' And this keeps on repeating after UG and PG. After job, when will you marry? After marriage, pota/poti kab doge humne? After pota/poti, it will be like 'Ab tum phikar karna shuru kar do'. And if you plan not to have kids, all hell breaks lose 🤣🤣🤣.
It's a collectivist mindset after all.