@Brometheus duuuudeeee.... no judgement! I am going through the same thing!! 1 year has gone by from me breaking up with my girlfriend of 9.5 years! working out has helped a lot!! And this video! And hearing Jocko tell me helps it’s hard man and isn’t a quick fix! Here for you brother! Going through it too!!
@Brometheus literally the EXACT Same Situation. Been with Mines 4 Years,child and All....and She Just Not the Same Anymore....but its So Hard It Makes Me Want to Fade In And away..
Absolutely. I met someone that I felt I could totally trust and open up to and she turned out not to be what I thought. It's taking a long for me to rebuild my trust in myself. I was so damn sure she was "the one".
That's the point. We think that we are a failure and question ourselves. That's wrong IF you didn't do anything wrong and you can hold your head high. That's what got me through it, I just kept saying the facts. Self-respect is the main thing. Never lose that.
@@NWWood17 Same with me. And it is OK to question ourselves when this happen to avoid this in a future. Not a rummination, just learning from our mistakes.
@@ExoduZ777 Same buddy.....like I really felt better without her went out on some trip with friends...while she was missing me whatever in the chat like f....duhh
@Nathan Ganga you should definitely care about certain people though. If you find the one man it'll make you even happier. Don't give up on love man. And I should know I almost gave up on love.. until alexis Kaufman saved me from that fate. And also what you're talking about Isn't the same as giving up on love. Once you give up on love. You die inside completely and your heart dies. And you start to hate everything and everyone. Do we're not the same. I would of went to the darkest place imaginable if it wasn't for Alexis Kaufman. And I would of went to a place secluded from humans a place where I can survive all alone without any humans with 500 miles of me at least. A Forrest preferably. And I would've done anything to survive. That's the path I was heading down. So no me and you aren't the same it's not even close. And also I wasn't giving up on love just because love has always been ripped away from me. And it literally felt like the universe just didn't want me to love. It was the fact that I went to hell about 3 years ago. I was in another dimension for 3 months I survived all alone in that hell. You wouldn't believe the things I had to endure in that hell. And almost 2 years later alexis Kaufman comes out of nowhere and saves me from so many things. I will always love that woman. I owe everything to her. And this further proved we're not the same it's not even close. No human is stronger then me. I'm the strongest by far. And no none of you humans could survive for even a minute in that other dimension. All you humans are weak
My girlfriend of a year left me with no indication or warning. We were calling everyday and saying how much we loved each other. Then one day, she suddenly breaks up with me and tells me she doesn't even want to discuss why she wants to leave. Less than two weeks later, she's already dating another person. I don't understand how someone could go from loving you to suddenly flipping a switch and being with someone else. Stay strong everyone, we can get past this.
Usually after a lot of time passes you can look back and see the subtle signs that she was losing interest or had moved on a while before she broke up. Many of us have been there. All I can say is hang in there and do your best to move on. Also ask yourself how you can be a better partner in the future. Often there are lessons in this, and although it may be unfair and it may not be your fault, we can always improve. Every relationship I’ve had has taught me that there’s always more work to do on myself and that if I really want to “earn” the dream girl, I gotta put in the work to make myself the best version of myself I can be. And again, we can get clues from analyzing why past partners broke up with us, and try to improve ourselves for the next one. At least that’s my 2 cents. Hope you’re doing ok and hanging in there. It will be ok. Plenty of fish in the sea!
Try to forgive her for being a bad person. Trust me, dude. Shield yourself with compassion and everything will be OK. Nothing more that you can do and you definitely don't want to carry a big bag of regret and hatred around your neck. Liste to Jocko: "roger that and move on!"
I'm brand new to this... My wife of 15yrs and 1 daughter, just up and abandoned us for another man she barely knew for a few weeks (her coworker boss at the hospital) and the betrayal and emptiness are the most painful thing I've ever experienced... She got an apartment behind my back, plotted on me for a few months arranging all this. I don't drink, do drugs, I don't beat her or yell or degrade her... We've been together since we were 20yrs old, and it all just upended in the matter of a day (at least, to me and my 14yr old daughter that lives with me). So, at least it’s me and my daughter still… But how does a mom just up and walk away from their husband AND daughter who’s an amazing kid?! Just disgusts me to no end.
I can tell you - you are in for the most painful and depressing year of your life. But it will get better. You will be better off without her no matter how much it feels like you won’t. Wake up every single day and realize she is trash. You are better off. Listen to the first 4 minutes of this multiple times a day…it will sink in.
@usernamewood Thank you bro... I really needed that today.. The first Christmas in 17yrs without her here has really bothered my daughter, which in turn bothers the hell out of me. But, you're right, I didn't lose a "gem". I lost a piece of trash that could've cared less how badly she screwed all of us over. I have our 14yr old daughter, she chose to live with me, so at least I won big overall I guess.
I’m in the exact same boat. Over 20 years with my ex. Let her go whore around. That’s what my ex is doing. She’ll end up alone and miserable, my 3 kids ages 15,13 and 8 knows she’s a whore and the reason our family broke up. It’s hard…believe me. Listen to the first 4 minutes over and over. I’ve accepted that she was a 2 faced whore for a WHILE. A liar, unfaithful selfish hoe who is so mentally fucked up that she chose a white trash loser over her own family, her own children. She will get what she deserves in the end. I’m trying my best to be strong for my kids. They know who was there for them and who REALLY cares. Seems like yours do too. The best thing to ever happen to you was to get rid of the trash before you wasted anymore time trying to love and respect a complete selfish whore.
Funny thing - mine left for a loser that works at the hospital with her too. Funny how they’re supposed to be working at a hospital helping people - but instead mine was blowing a felon in his car.
Exactly, I never had an older brother and my father left our family when I was 10, I'm 25 now, dealing with divorce, so glad to see men help each other like Brothers, we need more of that around
Riverline I’m here with you my man. I’m 33, an only child, dad overdosed when I was a kid and I’m currently going through a divorce myself. Shits been though as hell some days but it’s the videos like this that keep my head up high. All love brother
@@Money-talking my mate coined it. He went through a terrible break up she done a moon light moved out with kids while he was at work took everything house was a right mess. I lived next door i watched a man reduced to a shell. I had to cook for him. A few weeks later i seen him and he looked much better I said you Ok my bro he said I've played cards with the devil last night and I won. 😎 Lots of men end up playing cards with the devil and lose . I've plaid with him to I won. I'll never play that game again women cheat and lie to win. Don't play cards with a woman and you won't have to play cards with the devil himself. Scary shit. Stay safe. The cards are stacked against you as a male in society today with regards to relationships kids and marriage. It's just not worth it. Don't play there game play yours.
This is straight up supporting other people. Women go through the same shit. I was in a 7 year relationship and my ex left me for a younger woman while I was 3 months pregnant with him.
Really needed this. No sugar coating it, knock that chick off of the metaphorical pedestal you built for her and remember that you’re worth it, you’re the freaking man. It was wrong what she did to you, you deserve better, and if you allow yourself to feel, and heal, you will eventually find someone who is much better. Chins up out there lads. We got this.
I came across this video about 3 or 4 years ago. I was now going through a break up back then 2019. I felt hopeless and didn't want to let go of her. Every morning I used to listen to this video until I eventually got to my senses and did what was best. Today is June 6th 2023. I recently saw my ex after so much years and she spoke to me and it was then I realised that so much years had passed and I felt nothing towards her. Thank you for this video
Yes. I've never been hurt by a female that's not my family. But I've been abused by my mother however I've forgiven her yet I still feel void when talking about her family life. But I've never fvked a female. I will eventually since I'm a Christian I will just obey God and marry the righteous woman
Wow!! Exact same thing happened me back in 2021 and I used to watch this daily!! such a hard, tough, and lonely time in my life. Wife abruptly broke up with me 6 days after I lost my grandfather. Went completely cold and forced me out of our “forever home” that we had a few months. Our 3 young children (at the time 7,4, and 2) didn’t know what was happening Fought for my kids and got 50/50, went out renting and slowly but surely built my life back up for myself and my children! Since then, I met the love of my life and the total opposite of the woman I was with (who I thought in my delusion at the time, was perfect) Hard times make hard people and hard times don’t last forever, just long enough to teach you the lesson! Whoever is reading this, stay strong and face your hard time with strength and dignity. One day you look back with awe and pride of who you handled yourself at that time, and realise how better life is now ! 🙌🫶🏻
Really does get better my friends, took me a year to feel normal again but it’s almost like nothing ever even happened. I know it sounds cliche but just take it day by day. Focus on getting through that next shift at work, or that next work out. Hold on to the little things because those things will guide you through. Best of luck everyone.
George Spangler WOW! I needed to read this. My ex boyfriends past is why I held on and continue to want to hold on. He uses it as to why he is the way he is, and with my empathetic heart, I want to navigate him in to a better direction; but it keeps stabbing me in the back and I’m holding the knife allowing myself not to let go. AND he keeps going back to his ex girlfriend who has done irrational and crazy attempts to ruin his life. I need to look past the fantasy of who I want him to become and the belief I have in him.
I still can’t believe she left. It feels like a nightmare. These type of videos are like a slap to wake up. Sometimes the pain is so much it feels like I’m slowly losing grip on reality. Even suicidal thoughts creep up. I appreciate this particular video so much, because it feels like someone is snapping me back to what’s real and what’s just my conscious.
One day at a time, it will get better and you'll be stronger for it. I lost my brother to suicide and that's a trail of suffering and destruction you don't want to leave behind. Deep breaths and actions that heal you everyday ❤️
Time does 50% of the healing just hang in there, the other 50% is self work and other relationships that make you feel good like friends and family. You'll make it stay strong. For me it got better after 6months, after 9 I am almost completely over it
Please take care of yourself bro until your healing is complete. 8 months ago I was in a similar position...stuck in the darkest hole I've ever been in after my girlfriend of 10 years just called it quits. But here I am 8 months later and full of life again and moving forward...and you will too bro. Don't get me wrong,I'm still healing but my healing journey is almost complete and I'm preparing for the next phase of my life. If you need someone to talk to please feel free to hit me up..take care
You have to realize your self worth. You don't deserve that shit. I'm in the same position, I have feelings for this person still. When you give someone everything you have and they just say whatever, and drop it for some random person. It hurts, really bad, yet somehow I feel stronger.
This comment will get lost in the comments but I just wanted to say, a year ago I got cheated on in a horrific manner. I watched this video each and every single day when I was at the lowest and darkest moment of my life. And here I am a year later. Doing better than ever while my ex got pregnant by some guy she barely knew. It all turned out to be a blessing just like Jocko said 🙂
Yup don't hate her don't love her. Leave her to her own devices. I wouldn't even give her advice! Nor help her. She can do everything in her own she's a strong independent woman. Man keep going! I also hope and pray and love you that you find God because when everyoned focused on him all gets better. Suffering is part of life it only depends on you which way you throw it.
I'm happy to hear that you've been able to move on with your life in such a positive way! That's what I want. Not there yet but I'm getting better every day. Thank you!
@@AZChuck75 it’s not easy man. I was hung up on every detail of why it didn’t work and why she did such horrible things. But time cured all wounds. It’s still a scar, but just a reminder it was once there.
@@stephensondosier7923 i love her of course but this wasnt a regular... Fling... This was hate filled and brutal. Im out. She is a lie. She always will be A LIE. Thank you though i understand your intent is great
I have listened to this so many times and it’s 100% spot on! Our brains trick is into thinking the person that betrayed us is worth sacrificing our well being- what a bunch of bs! I’ll keep coming back until my brain is no longer trying to trick me!
I just got out of a Narcissistic relationship. I loved this man and moved half way across the country to live with him to discover he had created a whole fake life story and he was not even remotely the man who I thought he was. I faced it head on, took a ton of abuse as I was leaving, but I left. It’s been hard and I still struggle but I know I did the right thing.
Im a fit athletic guy. My ex played me and left me for an out of shape fat dude. Only to play him and leave him for another guy too. Now me and the big guy work out together every week. :) I lost someone toxic and gained a good friend in the process.
Bro for sure didn’t expect that ending! I love this story. I’m sorry you went through the crap, but how it ended up. Guys sticking together. We need more of that! Good on you man!
Forget her not worth it. Before i trusted this demon inwas totally fine in my own company 3 kids later 11 years of lies betrayal yhea im good shes nuts. I get out innthe woods and water ive actually taken pics out in the woods and sighted in my muzzleloader in hahahahah lol
This was very helpful, when Jocko said this I appreciated this. It's been 9 months and we go too the same damn church but I have just started to work on deleting the fantasy
This is exactly what I needed to hear at this time in my life. My divorce destroyed me in so many ways. I won't tell my story no one cares about. All I will say is that for the fist time in my life I have no interest in dating. I haven't talked to any girl since my divorce and I honestly have no friends and do not talk to anyone. Historically if I were single I would be dating and sexually active. But since the last time I saw my ex in August 2022 I haven't even talked to another female. But now I realize that the person I was in love with was never real. She was never the person i thought she was. Holy shit does that hurt to realize.
I care about your story and would like to hear it, my gf recently just broke up with me.. she had an abrasive personality & BPD, i'd call her out when she would miss treat me & ghost for a few days. We had another episode together and she just ended things right then and there. i'm still tryin to put myself together
I too, would be interested in hearing your story, OP. I had two stints of getting back together with my ex when we broke up before the end of 2021...we tried things again 5 months later when she reached out to me, and then I reached out to her 11 months later-if she didnt move out of the island I live on things would've maybe picked up and right now we're kinda talking, I made plans to visit her where she's at now in afew weeks-but something inside me is nudging that it isn't the right move, so I am here
Woman love to bash men. But all you need to do is get away from that bad woman that's it. Honestly I think you should search for a religious woman that's family oriented and a Christian who centers her life around Christ. Everything gets better whens talking and walking with God. I imagine that a female will want to become my wife if I ask her with intentions of Worshipping the one True God which. I have no embarrassment at all. And I want to marry my christian wife. Forget other people who want you to burn and fall! They should be the first ones to do so;
The part about being attached to a fantasy is what I needed to hear. The person that you had in your mind is not the person that you were committed to. Recognizing the chemical trick your mind is playing on you seems so crucial to truly moving on. That’s the mission I’m on right now, resisting the trick, recognizing reality for what it is, being grateful that I’m no longer wasting time and energy, being thankful for everything else in life that I still have, and learning to be with myself and trust myself again.
100% the truth, was the biggest catalyst for me as well to let go. The person you thought you loved and we're together with never existed, your partner played a ghost but she was never the one she pretended to be
Yup, life's too short. I can't hate her anymore though. Only cuz it robs so much of my life by thinking of her. It's definitely a drug, being addicted to dope, junk, the worst choices over and over. ✂️✂️✂️🧶⛏️🔗
“While my soul was still searching but not finding, among a thousand I have found one upright man, but among all these I have not found a virtuous woman.” Ecclesiastes 7:28
I found this video when the betrayal, the breakup was fresh. It guided me through the healing process. I came back a year later to this clip. Let me tell you you guys. This video saved my life from suicide. I'm thankful for still being here. They were just an illusion. 🙏
Hey, your life is precious!! Just What were you thinking, losing it for someone who's not even worth it. Wish you a very beautiful life with someone loyal
This video helped move me through one of the darkest times of my life last year. I ruined my mindset overthinking about someone who intentionally tried to hurt me and my family. They are not who you believe they are. So important.
After 17 years, I had to come to terms that emotional infidelity is real and realize she had manipulated me for years saying I was creating these illusions in my head. She’s finally admitted that because I was out hustling to bring the family into financial comfort, I was emotionally unavailable which is her way of deflecting the blame from her to me. Stand your ground and allow your feelings to be real. Don’t let them tell you otherwise. #MOVEON
Whenever I catch myself thinking about my ex or someone else I got into. . I just come here and listen. I can't talk to my family or friends about it. So I just come here.
It's 100 % true bro is that today I got breakup from my Gf whom I trusted very much but reality is that don't love anyone so much, just love yourself 😊,And this breakup gives me so much strength to live on
Dad pulled me aside when we were cutting wood and said its not the first time and last time it will happen talked about his relationship of 5 years ending then later my friends came chatted it out....helps to talk to these people even for 10 mins
LITERALLY THIS. my ex was a h-o-e and everyone warned me about her and she knew it bothered me whenever she would talk to/hang out with her ex but i let it slide bc i wanted to believe we had a future and her ex would disappear. lmao, lesson learned. they got together and i was broken and pathetic. ALWAYS pay attention to someone's actions over their words. all the "i love yous" in the world mean nothing if she's clearly playing you
You just described almost the entirety of my love life and my own self destructive delusion. If you had a chaotic childhood it's even harder because of "Comfort in Chaos": Batshit craziness is familiar to you, so it becomes kind of a subconscious comfort zone.
She cheated on me on my birthday. For 5 days and maybe still more to come, I haven’t slept or ate properly. I gave her everything and did everything I could do for her. This video is exactly what I need. As it helped me understand, that despite how much time and effort I spent on them. It helped me learn from myself. I hate being alone but he is right. It’s time to learn to be alone.
I needed to hear this. I haven’t been doing so good after she told me she needed “space” and than gave me hope she would come back, but crushed that hope a week ago when she told me to “leave her alone.” Also, I just found out she added a few guys back that we had problems with in the beginning of our relationship as nude pics were sent and she tried to keep them in her life as “friends.” They were blocked while I dated her… maybe… who knows maybe she still talked to them, but after hearing this video I realized she’s no good. She’s a liar, cheat & disgusting human being whom I kept in my head as a saint. The truth is really starting to be revealed and it’s making it easier to move on after not eating, not sleeping, sick from work, suicidal thoughts, etc… take care of yourselves and I’ll do the same!
I was in a relationship for almost 9 years. We met when I was 18 and he was 19. He was my first love. This past month he has been going back and forth between me and this girl from work that he got drunk and slept with. And every time he came back to me I would accept him without hesitation. He made all these promises to me, telling me he wasn’t going anywhere, that he chose me over her. And it all ended on a Wednesday night when I had gotten off of work and in the most cold tone I’d ever heard from him, he informs me that he doesn’t see a future with me, and that he does not love me. It crushed me. But you were right, I was holding onto a fantasy of him. The reality of him is that he is a bum, no future prospects, no plan, hasn’t even paid rent the last two months. It’s been a week, and that’s all I’ve needed to see him for what he truly was. Thank you.
Fuck that guy, what a disrespectful & cowardly way to end a relationship. Everything will turn out alright, it's his loss really. Focus on yourself & hang in there, time does 50% of the work, the other 50% is your own self-care. Spend time with friends & family. You'll find someone who deserves you and be happy, have Faith in yourself ❤️
Stay strong sis! My ex also said something similar, he can’t see the future of us, he doesn’t love me at all etc. these are just the excuses for his cheating, so let’s just ignore these comments and move on. Listen to this video really helps 👍🏻
@@NoDuurr youll get throughthis, i think so differently about my relationship and that it was abusive and shes a narcisist (I tend to think?) so stay clear headed it is definitely over, u cant cheat on someone you love. All the best king
I needed to hear this after years of suffering and the worst thing about betrayal is that it does not come from your enemies. People don't realize how painful that shit is, it changes you to something you are not.
You are exactly right. It is extremely painful (like lying on the floor with a knife in your guts). If you don’t get help right away, it will change you into something that will ultimately hurt you and others. It took me way too long to forgive, accept the real truth about things, and to properly process things to put away the pain, and all negative emotions. The old saying is true: Hurt people, hurt People.
@@gggray5747 I’m very sorry for you. I just want you to know that there is someone in this world that acknowledges your pain and understands the unending waves of gut-wrenching agony that comes from every waking thought of the betrayal by someone you let deep into your heart, and trusted. I would encourage you to feel the pain, without hanging on to any anger, rage or permanent unforgivness. Refuse to let that stay in your mind. It takes time to get over the shock and accept the reality of who and what that person really is.
I am 42 and was cheated on the first time. I feel like the pain is trying to change me into a person that can no longer trust. But that is not me. I am going to keep fighting because I know I deserve better and I am worth it.
@@mar_beach I am so sorry that happened to you. The pain of betrayal is debilitating. I hope you have someone that can help you through it. The pain will indeed make you think things and do things you would not normally do. It seems like you recognize this and you’re fighting against it. Keep up the good fight, and allow yourself to trust again in due time. I hope one day you can find a trustworthy love.
Guys, relationships take too much time and just a distraction. Focus on YOU first, and then everything else will come along. NEVER settle to be an option
@@blacklyfe5543 Chase self love bro. Self love comes in many forms. Freedom, Money, Connections, Successful career, cars, food. Love yourself brotha and be happy. Because when the right person comes along you'll be ready. When two come together they first should be happy when they are single. They shouldn't get into a relationship to be happy. Love yourself King!
😢 My brother took his own life over a completely poor excuse for a girlfriend 7 years ago. He couldn’t see through her BS, like the rest of us did. He wouldn’t listen. I miss my brother every day. Thank you for this post. I wish I would have known about you 7 years ago !
I’ve had the police falsely called on me multiple times I’ve found texts from her to her ex and still considering I have 2 children with this monster felt as though I “miss “ them “they possibly can/will change” I’m already separated 2 years and finally ready to push on forward and put her in my past. I appreciate your podcast and insight brother.
Move on. There is no such a thing as true love or soulmates, they could tell you non stop how much they love you and in a split second they could easily turn around and walk away like nothing ever happened. Just love yourself
@@barbarariley3488 Fuck you. Most guys prefer hot chicks thats true. So goes with women preferring hot men. But we both know that we will pick a partner depending on their personality in the end. You wouldnt date a hot person with garbage personality, the same goes with every human being. Stop thinking so narrowly please. I fell in love with a girl who was not "hot" she was ok in looks dptment. I changed her life, she went from D student to an A student. She went from being loud and vulgar to calm, quiet and gentle. That girl who knows I changed her life, she threw me away like trash at the worst moment of my life. Now does this mean all average girls are betraying bitches? No of course not. But now I know for sure I cant trust anybody.
I’ve been coming back to this video most weeks and it’s been 4 months since my girl left me. Stay strong bros and don’t judge the length your healing process. I’m stronger every day but still feel like it just happened some days. Best thing to do is love yourself and look after yourself✌🏻❤️
Incredible Podcast. I had to go to therapy after an 8 year relationship since it was the most horrible break up i've ever had. What helped me is talk endlessly to my best friend and I said things I have never spoken of before, red flags I ignored for years (Really don't know why) and as I spoke more and more I realized how toxic it was for the past 3 years. One of the hardest things is to realize that you didn't know the person as you thought you do. My therapist said: Tell me. If she didn't break up with you that day, would you still be able to look back and see all those bad things and how she didn't respect you? Me: Well of course not... I guess I was madly in love? A quote from my best friend: You ignored the bad things for so long, you lost the sense for beeing angry at her behaviour. At some point you started accepting her bullshit and kept seeing the things you like at her. feeling a bit better now after 2 months, there are some deep scars left but what helps me is just talk, talk, talk until there is nothing else left to say.
Your comment helped just as much as the podcast. 2 weeks in, no contact, 8 year old relationship, we were gonna turn 8 on November 30. I feel like shit but it was toxic. So many red flags. Thank you brother, God bless you. If you need someone to chat with, I am here. To all brothers out there, we ll make it !
@@andrewcardenas653 keep your head up brother. It does get better. Hit the gym, work hard, and make sure you keep busy so you have no time to think of her. God bless you
@@andrewcardenas653 I hope you are better, brother. I am here for you. Keep your head up, it's going to be a long journey to recovery. There will be days where you want to cry and scream, but do not give up hope. Find God, He will pick you up. Above all, guard your heart, it's where all the good comes from. Also.. sadness is unlimited energy and potential. You can become something great, you can do unimaginable things from now on ! Keep your head up and stay strong💪💪
In the end when he talks about going to the gym I remembered back when my first serious relashionship ended and I was feeling like garbage my friend told me "tomorrow morning you are going to wake up eraly, go to the gym and lift the heaviest weights you can for as many reps as you can. Trust me on this one" I did it and spent all day feeling like a bad ass, my cheating ex barely even crossed my mind that day. Exercising is seriously the best heartbreak medicine
Hope a couple years later I can come back and tell you guys I made it and stay strong, five years of relationship and she even stayed with me during my cancer fight, now I found her chatting with a guy and even share naked photos, it’s just so heartbreaking, anyway I’ll listen to this video every morning for a year, see if I can go through this.
I'm so sorry bro...8 months ago I was in the same boat...please take care of yourself. Healing will take time, it's definitely not a overnight process but you will get through it. When this happened to me last year I didn't think I would ever recover. But I did and I'm coming back stronger and better than ever...and you will too. Keep your head up bro...I'm here if you need to talk
Got cheated with someone in my 4 month relationship Found out She was sleeping around with someone all the time While she was dating me and was willing to get married to me ! Deleted all the pics and chats and erased all her memories Still fighting through it Today is the 3rd day of fighting the memories Just calming myself thinking 4 months better than 4 years This shall pass too ! Stay positive guys ! You will find true love again 🙂
She is the most narcissistic, selfish, deceptive and untrustworthy person I've ever met. Gonna use this to better myself as much as possible! LETS GET AFTER IT BROTHERS
@@crookedwiretap89 well about a month later, tried getting back together, I gave her a chance but she stood me up. Happened again and again. Eventually I said something along the lines of "take care bud." One week later I hear she's pregnant with some dudes kid. I myself, have been doing fucking amazing. Months have went by, and I'm dedicated to my purpose and pursuits, it's the good fight. Stay with it brother, she's negativity with legs. Find your purpose and let it consume you brother. You got this
Not a broken heart it's only broken if you let he or she break it Self control comes many different ways In mind an out Is the bullshit they put out if you don't give the time of day After the fact honey Preying on someone's mind Is a way of there guilt Hearts mend minds mend is what people say do that make me say fuck you many young get driven to suicide because who ever they are male or female Is with is the one who fucked was no break up are the ones with the broken heart People love fuckin with the mind You control you don't let any one break you Because they can't figure you out To fuckin scared so don't drive people to that point an there won't be no broken any fuckin thing Unbreakable
Self judgment can be good, if you use it correctly. If you just judge yourself and condemn yourself then that's counter productive. Use it as fuel. Workout, eat better, get more rest and don't go looking to replace that person. Find a hobby you truly enjoy. Read. Take a class.....cooking is a good one. Then, if you bump into someone who looks like they might be interesting and you're attracted to them you'll present a better version of yourself, because you'll be healthier and in better shape now.
@@tidefanyankee2428 I'm sorry but move on? That sounds really simple but it's not. Have you ever acted in ways that betrays your own usual values. Have your kids ever lied to you over stupid $hit? Did you forgive them or "move on". I'm sorry, I like most of Jocko's stuff but life isn't always so black & white. Have you ever really f@%ked up, were you given another chance? Have you ever forgiven some else who probably didn't deserve but they worked earning your trust back & you were both better for it? Oh & if you have kids together what's better for them? Just move on? Throw out the broken toaster, tv, washing machine, car, etc. Don't bother to fix it, throw it away & move on. Don't worry kids, your new Step-Dad/Step-Mom will be even better than the original. I don't know man, he's usually more nuanced than that.
Saying “building a fantasy around them” is literally so intense it’s like you have this dream of what it’s gonna be but deadass like he took the words out of my mouth
When a woman cheats or dumps you, think of it like this: She's found a store to shop in. It's your store, and she thinks she can spend some amount of time inside it and find something rare and valuable. She spends a lot of time and effort shopping, and you spend a lot of time and effort helping her shop (customer service). Eventually, she decides that the store doesn't have what she's looking for, so she leaves. She might announce she's leaving, or she might not. She might be polite about it, or she might be rude. Hell, you might discover one day that she's been shopping at other stores without you knowing. Regardless of any of this, the answer is the same: *Next customer, please.*
Great explanation about my situation 😥😥 i gave her everything and done everything that i could to make her happy but now here i am with an empty handed and broken heart. I treated her like a queen and she treat me like a shit. Hope you all have a better relationship ❤️❤️
Delete your social media entirely. It helped me to focus on everything around me instead of refreshing her pages. It feels very good to watch life instead of a screen once you get used to it.
Dude holy shit I'm gonna do this, I'm fkn stupid for not thinking of this before, but thanks for that I'm gonna do it because I know it will help me forget about that person and enjoy life more. Thank you, Jason Kim
Don’t you think that by deleting your social media you’re allowing her to influence your life? After all, if the breakup wouldn’t have happened you would have never deleted it right?
Jg i deleted my social media while I was still in my relationship and when things were going “well” with my ex. Its a good thing to do in general. Unless youre making money on social media, that shit is pointless and a waste of time and energy imo.
It happened to me a month ago after a 2 1/2 year relationship. I got a gym membership, started killin the weights again, bought new clothes, changed my diet etc. It will get better! Take a break from social media and do the complete opposite of any self destructive behaviors you were doing during the relationship. Get out there and meet new women etc! She’s one of millions of women you can meet out there. Keep your diet clean and kill it at the gym.
Ex-wife cheated on me in 2011. For the next 4 years, I treated myself with liquid therapy. By some pure miracle, I didn't get a DUI (or, worse, hurt someone because I was being selfish & stupid), maintained my job, and didn't lose my license to practice law. Now, 6 years later, only regret I have is wasting 4 years of my precious early-30s crying over someone who simply was not worth it. Wish Jocko/Echo had this Podcast back in 2011. Preach, brothers!
Similar to me. I have wasted 13 years, and all of my 30s, wasting tears and pining over my ex gf. She got emotionally involved with a married man, over the internet. She left me for him, as if 5 years with me was worthless. She got pregnant with the scumbag three months later. I cried day and night for six years, and suffered with a broken heart for another 7 years. Why am I suffering, when she should be missing me too?
Look at it this way there isn't anything you wasted not your time money ect because life (mistakes) are a lesson learnt next time you go through this bs or you sense it coming on you know what to do and how to deal with it.
Austin P. It's crazy as fuck cause Iam going thru the same thing bro , only thing IAM hitting 30 next week and seeing ur comment help me realize Iam not alone and Im greatful cause I still have the opportunity of not wasting the next chapter of my life . I have been suffering for the last 5 years and the first 2 I had to spend it incarcerated, it's was hell on earth but I am fighting to keep my self going regardless of what happens in my life ! So if i could help u as u help me , iam here bro and I feel ur pain .
Read/write, learn, lift, wake up early, meditate, train martial arts, learn a new hobbie/skill, hike mountains, dose up on Shrooms/DMT, love and spend time with your family/close friends, make money, and most importantly, follow Your fucking dreams mate.
@@davidgrimes4210 fuck em and make new ones, surround urself with positive people who support you and ditch the ones that don’t. U got this, I believe in u. I have ur back
@@MeandGod14 I hope it helps you find your happiness. I know with me him talking about mourning the what was supposed to be that never was and I created the person in my head despite the what i saw to be fact. I lost my best friend of 25 years to cancer a year before the breakup so since then i have existed with a physical pain in my chest, never far from tears, never felt so hurt and alone. And people do commit suicide over this stuff, if it weren't for my mom needing me id probably be gone. I go from never wanting to let anyone that close again to trying to talk and get to know someone new but i turn every conversation into a therapy session about my past. I cant move forward while constantly looking behind me but i cant quit looking and feeling. I don't know how to start over, i dont remember how happy feels. I know how to put on a big fake ass smile so people leave me alone and dont worry about me but the night times are rarely good when im alone at home.
My wife wants to Separate and it’s 3 days before our 13 year anniversary ,she saids I’m Mean selfish and a liar smh it’s crazy we just came back from a Family vacation.After everything I’ve done for her and her two kids. Now I’m just trying to figure out how to get through this emotionally and with everything that I’m going to face in the future with child-support and divorce court. You can never trust women.
Tony Florse man I’m truly from the bottom of my heart feel you and just yesterday she was home is like a stranger absolutely stranger I’ve never met and makes my blood boil it’s so fucking hard but I listen to him lately more times I can count it has definitely help me when I get in the mode of giving it all up I going to try to join the airforce and it’s what I will do if god will help me of course I’m so sorry all I can tell you is don’t give up on yourself its ok to feel all this heartbreak but used it to better yourself ❤️❤️🏋️
For the breakups without betrayal: relationships end, it’s not your fault, it’s not their fault. It’s normal to miss someone, to suffer, but dedicate to yourself now, work on yourself and move on cause the only person you are constantly with is you.
My ex came back to me a few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back.
Sorry, but this is completely bs. If someone left you.. it is their fault. It you left them it is your fault.. If you did things to make them leave. It is your fault.
@@xFersureMatt sometimes people just get tired or fall for other people and leave you. You can either say it’s their fault or your fault but my point is: that won’t really help you.
@@arbokMelagrana I agree it doesn't help.. honestly, nothing really does. You can mask the pain. But reality is they are gone and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it other than cope and accept the reality of the situation or be miserable forever in distress. I agree with that for sure. If putting blame on others helps someone cope then okay. But people are people. No matter how much you care and love someone. Anyone can leave. And that's life. :/
@@xFersureMatt the blame game sucks. My wife of 18 years cheated on me in year 17 and it was my fault. I treated her like shit. If i was in her shoes i cant say i wouldnt have done it either. We have been separated for 18 months and I still want her to come home. Were very close and very friendly but we cannot talk about relatiinship. We can talk for hours about anything other than that
This message helped me through the toughest of times. After being cheated on after a 6 year relationship. I laugh now😂. But shit was so tough I couldn't even eat😂
True!!! The love of my life, my dog, is the reason I got through my horrible/messy divorce. If it wasn’t for him, I would be lying in a gutter with a bottle of vodka. Ha
Haha, when my dog died my father said something similar except it was to build more in my life like family, friends and more pets. He said if you only have one and you lose it then your whole life and happiness is gone. If you have a pet or two, a spouse, some kids, some good friends(even one) then when one leaves or dies or whatever your whole world doesn't come crashing down. It also just means you have a bunch of sources of happiness and support which is awesome. I learnt this because when I was in college I only had my dog, so when he died it affected me way more than it should have. I suddenly had nothing. My dad was like first step is get a new dog, next build some people around you.
@@danielleberry6319 hahahtrue love is constant people who leave can people who really love can not . So your so called love is not real love it is you thinking that is love
Feel like I keep goin through a traumatic breakup every time the relationship ends… my head is fucked up even more this time… man I pray that I find the strength to heal and get to a better place for the sake not only my child but for myself!.. I’m come back in year to this comment and hopefully things are better
Once a cheater , always a cheater ... I really learned this hard way because I dated 3 girls who cheated on there ex’s And you guessed it ... all 3 of them cheated on me . Cheaters will always cheat .
I needed to hear this. My girl left me a few weeks ago. She’s the only one I’ve ever trusted this much and the only one that has ever broke me this hard. She literally said in the same sentence “I love you so much! You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had! No one has ever treated me this well before. Even my family thinks so. You are so strong, sexy, funny, and take such good care of my. But I’m not emotionally ready for a relationship right now. This needs to end” we we’re together for 4 months. She said she’s felt that way since day 1 but was hoping the feeling would get better but it didn’t and she’s not ready for anything. She destroyed me. I’m trying to move on but I can’t stop thinking about her
I had a long distance relationship of 3 and a half months with an amazing girl. We epicly loved eachother and planned a future, but she started losing interest, and when I talked to her about her about not being on the same page she denied anything was wrong and she loved me like always. Then out of nowhere she said she doesn't feel a connection anymore and actually started making condescending comments and insulting me. Out of fucking no where this came. I was great to this chick. Haven't contacted her since that last conversation a week ago where we broke up and blocked eachother. That's it. No positive closure, no more knowing eachother. Done. Gone. It was like all of a sudden I didn't know who she was anymore that last Convo. I just feel betrayed and confused. Brutal. She insisted there wasn't another man in the picture. And even talked about coming back in a couple years when she's ready for a relationship. IDK.
Since I found this video I've been listening to it every single time I start to remember my ex. When she broke um with me, it destroyed my life. This video gave me hope. Now I know that I need to focus on myself, move on and be better.
All this is so helpful, I just feel like I’ve lost myself. Watching this and reading these comments has really reminded me that I’m just lost and loosing myself. I relied on her and now it’s just me and it’s hard to move forward. She helped me get over addiction and I always had her. I realize now that I have me and I need to rely on myself again. For anyone feeling the same right now, it’s time for us to get back on the path. It’s time to get better and move forward! It’s time to show ourselves that when it gets tough we are the ones who can take care of ourselves!
Never give second chances everyone. I was watching this video 4 years ago, over a girl that wanted a break and went MIA. Here I am back watching this again,after forgiving her, getting married and having a child. Again she has left but now with my child.
Don. Diego.98 my girl just invited her “friend” to live with her until he saves up for an apartment and I’m about to end our relationship or leave or something. It’s hard to figure out whether or not to keep truckin for a little while or just cut my losses
@@connorstaggs8664 i ended a relationship recently. My decision was to only make a decision when I was sure I wasn't going to have any regrets. So I waited it out. And the decision eventually got done for me. But for me it was the right decision. If you do cut it. Be certain. If you don't, really start to emotionally separate yourself. Which will make the break up easier. Whatever you do, have no regrets.
This person is not the person you thought they were 🧐 I'm very lucky I don't need to hear this now, but there was a time in my life when this was EXACTLY what I needed to hear! So happy for the person who hears this when they need it. ❤
You never lose your woman/man, you just lose your turn. Nothing is permanent in life. I recently had a series of terrible events, plus I was in a 3 yr relationship that should not have lasted 3 months. When the bad times came, guess what? She made it 2x as bad by leaving. The people you rely on have the power to help, and hurt you. You have to remain in the drivers seat of your own life.
4:07 “workout” don’t take this for granted fellas. Get back in the gym or get in the gym for the first time and learn how to train. Change your life guaranteed.
I feel for everyone going through a breakup that has you feeling shattered. I was heart broken, my ex suddenly moved out and said she didn’t want me or my son. It all happen so fast and I was in disbelief and during grieving. I played back all the good times, and thought of all the “what if’s and “if only”. Life’s best teacher is failure. Don’t let this breakup/guilt bring you down to the bottle or worse. Instead, accept the mistakes you committed no matter how hard it is and be grateful for the wisdom you have gained. Accept reality and become a better man. Be grateful for the love and experience and move on. One day, you’ll find your person.
My ex-girlfriend at 29 left me before New Year's 2020 for the guy she crushed on ever since she was 14. She did this behind my back and said she loved me, and was happy. She was the love of my life and I wanted to get engaged with her after being together for 2 years. You go from feeling in love one day with the woman of your dreams, to be completely lonely the next. A few weeks later, her new relationship fell through on it's ass, and I was out dating and met someone new. Karma can also have it's way with a liar and a cheater sometimes.
“If a man takes your girl, then he is doing you a favour”
Remember
For he will be you when she finds him just as expendable...
Facts
A1!
It's hurt man
Dam straight if someone can bag your chick she ain't your chick i guess
I’m sorry for everyone here who had to look this up, we can get through this. Keep that hard work coming and lets move on💪
Thank you bro 🙏
Thanks man, hope you’re doing well! As well as any guy reading this that is going through something hard 🤘🏻🍻
✊🏼
@Brometheus duuuudeeee.... no judgement! I am going through the same thing!! 1 year has gone by from me breaking up with my girlfriend of 9.5 years!
working out has helped a lot!! And this video! And hearing Jocko tell me helps it’s hard man and isn’t a quick fix! Here for you brother! Going through it too!!
@Brometheus literally the EXACT Same Situation. Been with Mines 4 Years,child and All....and She Just Not the Same Anymore....but its So Hard It Makes Me Want to Fade In And away..
“When someone breaks your trust we question ourselves”
Damn that’s true
Absolutely. I met someone that I felt I could totally trust and open up to and she turned out not to be what I thought. It's taking a long for me to rebuild my trust in myself. I was so damn sure she was "the one".
That's the point. We think that we are a failure and question ourselves. That's wrong IF you didn't do anything wrong and you can hold your head high. That's what got me through it, I just kept saying the facts. Self-respect is the main thing. Never lose that.
@@NWWood17 Same with me. And it is OK to question ourselves when this happen to avoid this in a future. Not a rummination, just learning from our mistakes.
It’s much better to be alone, than feel alone in a relationship.
Sooooo true
Really did feel alone being w her.
@@ExoduZ777 Same buddy.....like I really felt better without her went out on some trip with friends...while she was missing me whatever in the chat like f....duhh
facts.
Werd. 🤘
"Dont pray for an easy life... Pray for strength to endure a difficult one"
Bruce Lee
Also Marcus Aurelius
Exactly and well spoken.True motivator.👌
Great quote
Thanks🙏
@Nathan Ganga nice bro
@Nathan Ganga you should definitely care about certain people though. If you find the one man it'll make you even happier. Don't give up on love man. And I should know I almost gave up on love.. until alexis Kaufman saved me from that fate. And also what you're talking about Isn't the same as giving up on love. Once you give up on love. You die inside completely and your heart dies. And you start to hate everything and everyone. Do we're not the same. I would of went to the darkest place imaginable if it wasn't for Alexis Kaufman. And I would of went to a place secluded from humans a place where I can survive all alone without any humans with 500 miles of me at least. A Forrest preferably. And I would've done anything to survive. That's the path I was heading down. So no me and you aren't the same it's not even close. And also I wasn't giving up on love just because love has always been ripped away from me. And it literally felt like the universe just didn't want me to love. It was the fact that I went to hell about 3 years ago. I was in another dimension for 3 months I survived all alone in that hell. You wouldn't believe the things I had to endure in that hell. And almost 2 years later alexis Kaufman comes out of nowhere and saves me from so many things. I will always love that woman. I owe everything to her. And this further proved we're not the same it's not even close. No human is stronger then me. I'm the strongest by far. And no none of you humans could survive for even a minute in that other dimension. All you humans are weak
Break ups aren't the hard part. The hard part is mustering the energy and courage to start fresh and try again.
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whatever and who ever you want to manifest within two-days ❤❤❤
He was the person who helped me manifest back my ex three days ago with out delay 💯 💯💯
Whtsaap him**
+ 2 3 4 8 1 4 0 7 9 9 3 2 3;
Sheesh straight up 💯 get up dust you’re self off and get after it
My girlfriend of a year left me with no indication or warning. We were calling everyday and saying how much we loved each other. Then one day, she suddenly breaks up with me and tells me she doesn't even want to discuss why she wants to leave. Less than two weeks later, she's already dating another person. I don't understand how someone could go from loving you to suddenly flipping a switch and being with someone else. Stay strong everyone, we can get past this.
It’s because you stop being a man
Usually after a lot of time passes you can look back and see the subtle signs that she was losing interest or had moved on a while before she broke up. Many of us have been there. All I can say is hang in there and do your best to move on. Also ask yourself how you can be a better partner in the future. Often there are lessons in this, and although it may be unfair and it may not be your fault, we can always improve. Every relationship I’ve had has taught me that there’s always more work to do on myself and that if I really want to “earn” the dream girl, I gotta put in the work to make myself the best version of myself I can be. And again, we can get clues from analyzing why past partners broke up with us, and try to improve ourselves for the next one. At least that’s my 2 cents. Hope you’re doing ok and hanging in there. It will be ok. Plenty of fish in the sea!
Lots of Women use the tree-branch strategy. Hop from one person to the next one who they perceive is “better”, without ever touching the ground.
Psychos bro.
@@treys1695 lots of guys too 😂
“You fell in love with a fantasy that you had built off the framework of reality” 👌 very humbling words to say to yourself.
Loneliness is better than miserable company.
pharoahism so true so absolutely true
#FACTS
Love never hurts . Rejection n lonliness do hurts.
Roger that.
Alone does not mean lonely.
My girlfriend of five years and I broke up and now she’s with the guy she told me not to worry about. This is helping.
Try to forgive her for being a bad person. Trust me, dude. Shield yourself with compassion and everything will be OK. Nothing more that you can do and you definitely don't want to carry a big bag of regret and hatred around your neck. Liste to Jocko: "roger that and move on!"
i feel you man, im going thru something similar myself.
Same
Research red pill.
I’m literally going through the same exact thing, except we dated for 4 and a half years
Listen to this EVERY day 2 or 3 times a day after being betrayed after 16 years and 3 kids… thank you Jocko. Your words are saving my life.
I'm brand new to this... My wife of 15yrs and 1 daughter, just up and abandoned us for another man she barely knew for a few weeks (her coworker boss at the hospital) and the betrayal and emptiness are the most painful thing I've ever experienced...
She got an apartment behind my back, plotted on me for a few months arranging all this. I don't drink, do drugs, I don't beat her or yell or degrade her... We've been together since we were 20yrs old, and it all just upended in the matter of a day (at least, to me and my 14yr old daughter that lives with me).
So, at least it’s me and my daughter still… But how does a mom just up and walk away from their husband AND daughter who’s an amazing kid?! Just disgusts me to no end.
I can tell you - you are in for the most painful and depressing year of your life. But it will get better. You will be better off without her no matter how much it feels like you won’t. Wake up every single day and realize she is trash. You are better off. Listen to the first 4 minutes of this multiple times a day…it will sink in.
@usernamewood Thank you bro... I really needed that today.. The first Christmas in 17yrs without her here has really bothered my daughter, which in turn bothers the hell out of me.
But, you're right, I didn't lose a "gem". I lost a piece of trash that could've cared less how badly she screwed all of us over. I have our 14yr old daughter, she chose to live with me, so at least I won big overall I guess.
I’m in the exact same boat. Over 20 years with my ex. Let her go whore around. That’s what my ex is doing. She’ll end up alone and miserable, my 3 kids ages 15,13 and 8 knows she’s a whore and the reason our family broke up. It’s hard…believe me. Listen to the first 4 minutes over and over. I’ve accepted that she was a 2 faced whore for a WHILE. A liar, unfaithful selfish hoe who is so mentally fucked up that she chose a white trash loser over her own family, her own children. She will get what she deserves in the end. I’m trying my best to be strong for my kids. They know who was there for them and who REALLY cares. Seems like yours do too.
The best thing to ever happen to you was to get rid of the trash before you wasted anymore time trying to love and respect a complete selfish whore.
Funny thing - mine left for a loser that works at the hospital with her too. Funny how they’re supposed to be working at a hospital helping people - but instead mine was blowing a felon in his car.
Listen to me...SHES NOT ESSENTIAL
"The person you pieced together in your head doesn't exist." That hit hard and was what I needed to hear.
Same
Same
@@michellereeves9316 oh really? Wow
@@Lucaswilsonn yeah
Exactly 😎
This is straight up men supporting men! We need more of this!
Exactly, I never had an older brother and my father left our family when I was 10, I'm 25 now, dealing with divorce, so glad to see men help each other like Brothers, we need more of that around
Riverline I’m here with you my man. I’m 33, an only child, dad overdosed when I was a kid and I’m currently going through a divorce myself. Shits been though as hell some days but it’s the videos like this that keep my head up high. All love brother
The lack of is dangerous. I'd imagine that's why there's gangs in the hood.
@@Money-talking my mate coined it. He went through a terrible break up she done a moon light moved out with kids while he was at work took everything house was a right mess. I lived next door i watched a man reduced to a shell. I had to cook for him. A few weeks later i seen him and he looked much better I said you Ok my bro he said I've played cards with the devil last night and I won. 😎
Lots of men end up playing cards with the devil and lose . I've plaid with him to I won. I'll never play that game again women cheat and lie to win. Don't play cards with a woman and you won't have to play cards with the devil himself. Scary shit. Stay safe. The cards are stacked against you as a male in society today with regards to relationships kids and marriage. It's just not worth it. Don't play there game play yours.
This is straight up supporting other people. Women go through the same shit. I was in a 7 year relationship and my ex left me for a younger woman while I was 3 months pregnant with him.
Really needed this. No sugar coating it, knock that chick off of the metaphorical pedestal you built for her and remember that you’re worth it, you’re the freaking man. It was wrong what she did to you, you deserve better, and if you allow yourself to feel, and heal, you will eventually find someone who is much better.
Chins up out there lads. We got this.
💪
Tanks mate! That’s is calming my pain a little :)
Good comment brother it helps.
I came across this video about 3 or 4 years ago. I was now going through a break up back then 2019. I felt hopeless and didn't want to let go of her. Every morning I used to listen to this video until I eventually got to my senses and did what was best.
Today is June 6th 2023. I recently saw my ex after so much years and she spoke to me and it was then I realised that so much years had passed and I felt nothing towards her.
Thank you for this video
Yes. I've never been hurt by a female that's not my family. But I've been abused by my mother however I've forgiven her yet I still feel void when talking about her family life. But I've never fvked a female. I will eventually since I'm a Christian I will just obey God and marry the righteous woman
I can’t wait for that day when I don’t think of her in anyway other than oh hey it’s you.
Did you REALLY use "female" Israel? Fuck. That's some incel bullshit. Maybe you should work on yourself a bit more before you find someone.
@@IsraelCountryCube duh marry me
Wow!!
Exact same thing happened me back in 2021 and I used to watch this daily!!
such a hard, tough, and lonely time in my life. Wife abruptly broke up with me 6 days after I lost my grandfather. Went completely cold and forced me out of our “forever home” that we had a few months. Our 3 young children (at the time 7,4, and 2) didn’t know what was happening
Fought for my kids and got 50/50, went out renting and slowly but surely built my life back up for myself and my children!
Since then, I met the love of my life and the total opposite of the woman I was with (who I thought in my delusion at the time, was perfect)
Hard times make hard people and hard times don’t last forever, just long enough to teach you the lesson!
Whoever is reading this, stay strong and face your hard time with strength and dignity. One day you look back with awe and pride of who you handled yourself at that time, and realise how better life is now ! 🙌🫶🏻
"When a person shows you who they are, believe them the first time".
-Maya Angelou
I am going to listen to this over and over and over until my head comes out of my ass
@@jeremysautomobile been there done that. Takes about 3 weeks.
This is true, my baby daddy cheated forgave him,the first time,forgave him,he again cheated the second time
@@nansysherry It's absolutely true. Believe them, THE FIRST TIME. Sorry for the nonsense that He put you through.
One of the most realest things I’ve heard my friend, Wish i seen this along time ago.
Don’t ignore the red flags in the beginning.
When you're young you don't even know the red flags
What is the the flags?
When you are wearing rose colored glasses red flags just look like flags.
@@xt4k3nx I wish I can smoke whatever you're smoking xD
buckbeaver that was actually brilliant
Listen to it over and over again if you find yourself down as motivation to pursue your dreams
Yes that’s exactly what I started doing as that reminder . His no nonsense direct approach is what’s needed. He made it simple
I do
I am back to this for the fourth time in 6 months
been listening to this and others first thing every morning. it definitely helps.
Really does get better my friends, took me a year to feel normal again but it’s almost like nothing ever even happened. I know it sounds cliche but just take it day by day. Focus on getting through that next shift at work, or that next work out. Hold on to the little things because those things will guide you through. Best of luck everyone.
“Don’t trust your brain. Trust me.”
-Jocko Wllink
What'sapp him
+2347044509792🙏
I rather trust him than my brain.
LOL
same
Never fool yourself into believing her past doesn't matter, she is her past.
@Easy E yea,,,my ex just got married,, and that asshole can think about me now and the 13 years i was doing her.
A leopard doesnt change its spots!
George Spangler WOW! I needed to read this. My ex boyfriends past is why I held on and continue to want to hold on. He uses it as to why he is the way he is, and with my empathetic heart, I want to navigate him in to a better direction; but it keeps stabbing me in the back and I’m holding the knife allowing myself not to let go. AND he keeps going back to his ex girlfriend who has done irrational and crazy attempts to ruin his life. I need to look past the fantasy of who I want him to become and the belief I have in him.
@Profit Glutton ...lol...so true
Precisely 😐
I still can’t believe she left. It feels like a nightmare. These type of videos are like a slap to wake up. Sometimes the pain is so much it feels like I’m slowly losing grip on reality. Even suicidal thoughts creep up. I appreciate this particular video so much, because it feels like someone is snapping me back to what’s real and what’s just my conscious.
One day at a time, it will get better and you'll be stronger for it. I lost my brother to suicide and that's a trail of suffering and destruction you don't want to leave behind. Deep breaths and actions that heal you everyday ❤️
@@D_maaan rip to your brother and I’m sorry for ur loss. Stay strong.
Time does 50% of the healing just hang in there, the other 50% is self work and other relationships that make you feel good like friends and family. You'll make it stay strong. For me it got better after 6months, after 9 I am almost completely over it
Please take care of yourself bro until your healing is complete. 8 months ago I was in a similar position...stuck in the darkest hole I've ever been in after my girlfriend of 10 years just called it quits. But here I am 8 months later and full of life again and moving forward...and you will too bro. Don't get me wrong,I'm still healing but my healing journey is almost complete and I'm preparing for the next phase of my life. If you need someone to talk to please feel free to hit me up..take care
You have to realize your self worth. You don't deserve that shit. I'm in the same position, I have feelings for this person still. When you give someone everything you have and they just say whatever, and drop it for some random person. It hurts, really bad, yet somehow I feel stronger.
This comment will get lost in the comments but I just wanted to say, a year ago I got cheated on in a horrific manner. I watched this video each and every single day when I was at the lowest and darkest moment of my life. And here I am a year later. Doing better than ever while my ex got pregnant by some guy she barely knew. It all turned out to be a blessing just like Jocko said 🙂
Yup don't hate her don't love her. Leave her to her own devices. I wouldn't even give her advice! Nor help her. She can do everything in her own she's a strong independent woman. Man keep going! I also hope and pray and love you that you find God because when everyoned focused on him all gets better. Suffering is part of life it only depends on you which way you throw it.
I'm happy to hear that you've been able to move on with your life in such a positive way! That's what I want. Not there yet but I'm getting better every day. Thank you!
@@AZChuck75 it’s not easy man. I was hung up on every detail of why it didn’t work and why she did such horrible things. But time cured all wounds. It’s still a scar, but just a reminder it was once there.
What you gotta do is just thank her by blowing yurload all over that video and throw yourself a🎉..then think about counseling..
Wife of 12 years cheated. Left the house a week ago. No remorse. I have my 2 boys. I needed this. Thank you.
@@stephensondosier7923 i love her of course but this wasnt a regular... Fling... This was hate filled and brutal. Im out. She is a lie. She always will be A LIE. Thank you though i understand your intent is great
Sorry man, I'm going through a break up shit stings bad
Fuck man my heart goes out to u buddy stay strong brother
Nobody will keep her for long term. Stay safe bro ❤️
Man
That's hard
I thought only me who though this sht
I'm sorry for us
"Forgive your enemies but never forget their names."
-John F. Kennedy
thanks for this
Whoe Kennedy said that good lookin out profound rite
I have listened to this so many times and it’s 100% spot on! Our brains trick is into thinking the person that betrayed us is worth sacrificing our well being- what a bunch of bs! I’ll keep coming back until my brain is no longer trying to trick me!
I just got out of a Narcissistic relationship. I loved this man and moved half way across the country to live with him to discover he had created a whole fake life story and he was not even remotely the man who I thought he was. I faced it head on, took a ton of abuse as I was leaving, but I left. It’s been hard and I still struggle but I know I did the right thing.
Hey I wish you better chances in the future
Im a fit athletic guy. My ex played me and left me for an out of shape fat dude. Only to play him and leave him for another guy too. Now me and the big guy work out together every week. :) I lost someone toxic and gained a good friend in the process.
This is quietly the best comment in the thread. Good for you actually befriending the dude and taking him under your wing at the gym. You're a legend
Legend!
Why you want a "friend" like that?. Have a little self-respect
@@loan8825 some people are able to deprive resentment towards those who had hurt them, yet easier said than done.
Bro for sure didn’t expect that ending! I love this story. I’m sorry you went through the crap, but how it ended up. Guys sticking together. We need more of that! Good on you man!
“Don’t listen to your brain. Listen to me. She’s not essential.”
“Hangout with your badass self”
“Lifting solves everything.”
Helpful! Thank you.
9:03 💪🏻
Lift heavy shit and put it down × 50 😀
The physique I have in my picture here is literally the result of profound heartbreak. Turn it into fuel and you will never quit.
Forget her not worth it. Before i trusted this demon inwas totally fine in my own company 3 kids later 11 years of lies betrayal yhea im good shes nuts. I get out innthe woods and water ive actually taken pics out in the woods and sighted in my muzzleloader in hahahahah lol
This was very helpful, when Jocko said this I appreciated this. It's been 9 months and we go too the same damn church but I have just started to work on deleting the fantasy
This is exactly what I needed to hear at this time in my life. My divorce destroyed me in so many ways. I won't tell my story no one cares about. All I will say is that for the fist time in my life I have no interest in dating. I haven't talked to any girl since my divorce and I honestly have no friends and do not talk to anyone. Historically if I were single I would be dating and sexually active. But since the last time I saw my ex in August 2022 I haven't even talked to another female. But now I realize that the person I was in love with was never real. She was never the person i thought she was. Holy shit does that hurt to realize.
I care about your story and would like to hear it, my gf recently just broke up with me.. she had an abrasive personality & BPD, i'd call her out when she would miss treat me & ghost for a few days. We had another episode together and she just ended things right then and there. i'm still tryin to put myself together
I too, would be interested in hearing your story, OP.
I had two stints of getting back together with my ex when we broke up before the end of 2021...we tried things again 5 months later when she reached out to me, and then I reached out to her 11 months later-if she didnt move out of the island I live on things would've maybe picked up and right now we're kinda talking, I made plans to visit her where she's at now in afew weeks-but something inside me is nudging that it isn't the right move, so I am here
@@therealjulez7886get away from horrible woman such as these don't rot yourself by being around such females.
Woman love to bash men. But all you need to do is get away from that bad woman that's it. Honestly I think you should search for a religious woman that's family oriented and a Christian who centers her life around Christ. Everything gets better whens talking and walking with God. I imagine that a female will want to become my wife if I ask her with intentions of Worshipping the one True God which. I have no embarrassment at all. And I want to marry my christian wife. Forget other people who want you to burn and fall! They should be the first ones to do so;
Sorry to hear this. Head up. Chin up.
The part about being attached to a fantasy is what I needed to hear. The person that you had in your mind is not the person that you were committed to. Recognizing the chemical trick your mind is playing on you seems so crucial to truly moving on. That’s the mission I’m on right now, resisting the trick, recognizing reality for what it is, being grateful that I’m no longer wasting time and energy, being thankful for everything else in life that I still have, and learning to be with myself and trust myself again.
100% the truth, was the biggest catalyst for me as well to let go. The person you thought you loved and we're together with never existed, your partner played a ghost but she was never the one she pretended to be
The heart knows how to heal itself the true challenge is to silence the mind
Very well put
Amen
I'm going to steal that
Exactly that
Advice please
"It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home."
--Proverbs 21:9
Whoa, that speaks volumes.
You can always depend on wisdom from the scriptures
Amen!
Yup, life's too short. I can't hate her anymore though. Only cuz it robs so much of my life by thinking of her. It's definitely a drug, being addicted to dope, junk, the worst choices over and over. ✂️✂️✂️🧶⛏️🔗
“While my soul was still searching but not finding, among a thousand I have found one upright man, but among all these I have not found a virtuous woman.” Ecclesiastes 7:28
Five years ago this video changed my life
I found this video when the betrayal, the breakup was fresh. It guided me through the healing process. I came back a year later to this clip. Let me tell you you guys. This video saved my life from suicide. I'm thankful for still being here. They were just an illusion. 🙏
Thanks for sticking around. Stay strong.
Same here. I hope you get better and it will be. Stay strong. my blessing to you
Hey, your life is precious!! Just What were you thinking, losing it for someone who's not even worth it. Wish you a very beautiful life with someone loyal
Your worth more then that person. Love your self and fight hard for your life.
❤️
"The person you pieced together in your head doesn't even exist."
More accurate, honest words have never been spoken.
anyone whose been thru this and thinks they can help someone out are welcomed to my dm on Instagram @carolinaRileysmith. its hard
This video helped move me through one of the darkest times of my life last year. I ruined my mindset overthinking about someone who intentionally tried to hurt me and my family. They are not who you believe they are. So important.
After 17 years, I had to come to terms that emotional infidelity is real and realize she had manipulated me for years saying I was creating these illusions in my head. She’s finally admitted that because I was out hustling to bring the family into financial comfort, I was emotionally unavailable which is her way of deflecting the blame from her to me. Stand your ground and allow your feelings to be real. Don’t let them tell you otherwise. #MOVEON
💯
🔥
🤘
Whenever I catch myself thinking about my ex or someone else I got into. . I just come here and listen.
I can't talk to my family or friends about it.
So I just come here.
It's 100 % true bro is that today I got breakup from my Gf whom I trusted very much but reality is that don't love anyone so much, just love yourself 😊,And this breakup gives me so much strength to live on
I feel you bro its okay
Dad pulled me aside when we were cutting wood and said its not the first time and last time it will happen talked about his relationship of 5 years ending then later my friends came chatted it out....helps to talk to these people even for 10 mins
Preston i feel you. Can’t talk to friends or family about it. Have to deal w/ it.
Same here
It is like a drug. There's a lot of neuropsychology involved. It's hard to see red flags when you're wearing rose colored glasses.
LITERALLY THIS. my ex was a h-o-e and everyone warned me about her and she knew it bothered me whenever she would talk to/hang out with her ex but i let it slide bc i wanted to believe we had a future and her ex would disappear. lmao, lesson learned. they got together and i was broken and pathetic. ALWAYS pay attention to someone's actions over their words. all the "i love yous" in the world mean nothing if she's clearly playing you
Stop wearing rose colored glasses!
You just described almost the entirety of my love life and my own self destructive delusion. If you had a chaotic childhood it's even harder because of "Comfort in Chaos": Batshit craziness is familiar to you, so it becomes kind of a subconscious comfort zone.
Damn, you hit the nail on the head.
This is an amazing comment
She cheated on me on my birthday. For 5 days and maybe still more to come, I haven’t slept or ate properly. I gave her everything and did everything I could do for her. This video is exactly what I need. As it helped me understand, that despite how much time and effort I spent on them. It helped me learn from myself. I hate being alone but he is right. It’s time to learn to be alone.
I needed to hear this. I haven’t been doing so good after she told me she needed “space” and than gave me hope she would come back, but crushed that hope a week ago when she told me to “leave her alone.” Also, I just found out she added a few guys back that we had problems with in the beginning of our relationship as nude pics were sent and she tried to keep them in her life as “friends.” They were blocked while I dated her… maybe… who knows maybe she still talked to them, but after hearing this video I realized she’s no good. She’s a liar, cheat & disgusting human being whom I kept in my head as a saint. The truth is really starting to be revealed and it’s making it easier to move on after not eating, not sleeping, sick from work, suicidal thoughts, etc… take care of yourselves and I’ll do the same!
If Jocko tells you to get over something
You get over it
Kyle Christensen 😂
but it's a ten foot wall?
You’d better 😂😂
@@Tupemo better get climbing
Ok brother.
"Don't listen to your brain, listen to me. She is not essential. Move on"
9:03
I read this right as he said it 🤯
Facts
I was in a relationship for almost 9 years. We met when I was 18 and he was 19. He was my first love. This past month he has been going back and forth between me and this girl from work that he got drunk and slept with. And every time he came back to me I would accept him without hesitation. He made all these promises to me, telling me he wasn’t going anywhere, that he chose me over her. And it all ended on a Wednesday night when I had gotten off of work and in the most cold tone I’d ever heard from him, he informs me that he doesn’t see a future with me, and that he does not love me. It crushed me. But you were right, I was holding onto a fantasy of him. The reality of him is that he is a bum, no future prospects, no plan, hasn’t even paid rent the last two months. It’s been a week, and that’s all I’ve needed to see him for what he truly was. Thank you.
Fuck that guy, what a disrespectful & cowardly way to end a relationship. Everything will turn out alright, it's his loss really. Focus on yourself & hang in there, time does 50% of the work, the other 50% is your own self-care. Spend time with friends & family. You'll find someone who deserves you and be happy, have Faith in yourself ❤️
Stay strong sis! My ex also said something similar, he can’t see the future of us, he doesn’t love me at all etc. these are just the excuses for his cheating, so let’s just ignore these comments and move on. Listen to this video really helps 👍🏻
Hope your doing well
Jeesus, i went through roughly the same thing and last night she ended things... soo i feel ya, stay strong
@@NoDuurr youll get throughthis, i think so differently about my relationship and that it was abusive and shes a narcisist (I tend to think?) so stay clear headed it is definitely over, u cant cheat on someone you love. All the best king
I needed to hear this after years of suffering and the worst thing about betrayal is that it does not come from your enemies. People don't realize how painful that shit is, it changes you to something you are not.
You are exactly right. It is extremely painful (like lying on the floor with a knife in your guts). If you don’t get help right away, it will change you into something that will ultimately hurt you and others. It took me way too long to forgive, accept the real truth about things, and to properly process things to put away the pain, and all negative emotions. The old saying is true: Hurt people, hurt People.
Betrayal is very devastating. I'm going through it now.
@@gggray5747
I’m very sorry for you. I just want you to know that there is someone in this world that acknowledges your pain and understands the unending waves of gut-wrenching agony that comes from every waking thought of the betrayal by someone you let deep into your heart, and trusted.
I would encourage you to feel the pain, without hanging on to any anger, rage or permanent unforgivness. Refuse to let that stay in your mind. It takes time to get over the shock and accept the reality of who and what that person really is.
I am 42 and was cheated on the first time. I feel like the pain is trying to change me into a person that can no longer trust. But that is not me. I am going to keep fighting because I know I deserve better and I am worth it.
@@mar_beach I am so sorry that happened to you. The pain of betrayal is debilitating. I hope you have someone that can help you through it. The pain will indeed make you think things and do things you would not normally do. It seems like you recognize this and you’re fighting against it. Keep up the good fight, and allow yourself to trust again in due time. I hope one day you can find a trustworthy love.
Rejection is Gods protection.
heard that before, my question is: if not she than WHO.''
THIS
What are the red flags? 😂
I needed to hear that.
I'm not religious but this saying digs deeper than religion, it's karma and "what will be, will be" wrapped into one.
Guys, relationships take too much time and just a distraction. Focus on YOU first, and then everything else will come along. NEVER settle to be an option
Agreed, never be an option
Facts bro I always focus on myself but what happens if you want a family or kids and pussy
@@blacklyfe5543 Chase self love bro. Self love comes in many forms. Freedom, Money, Connections, Successful career, cars, food. Love yourself brotha and be happy. Because when the right person comes along you'll be ready. When two come together they first should be happy when they are single. They shouldn't get into a relationship to be happy. Love yourself King!
Real talk bro
If it floats, flies or fucks
Rent it ..
😢 My brother took his own life over a completely poor excuse for a girlfriend 7 years ago. He couldn’t see through her BS, like the rest of us did. He wouldn’t listen. I miss my brother every day. Thank you for this post. I wish I would have known about you 7 years ago !
Are you serious
Can you plz contact me i sm also going through same process
My god, I am so sorry for your loss x
I’ve had the police falsely called on me multiple times I’ve found texts from her to her ex and still considering I have 2 children with this monster felt as though I “miss “ them “they possibly can/will change” I’m already separated 2 years and finally ready to push on forward and put her in my past. I appreciate your podcast and insight brother.
“Don’t listen to your brain, listen to me, move on.” I needed that.
I know Mr ose who can actually fix your problems, he once helped me recover my relationship 🥰
Wh'atsap me...for he!p
I just love the nonchalant way he says that. "Don't listen to your brain, listen to me." Got it, Sir
Move on. There is no such a thing as true love or soulmates, they could tell you non stop how much they love you and in a split second they could easily turn around and walk away like nothing ever happened. Just love yourself
02perspolis oh thank you man.
Thanks man, can we talk?
It's called bait and switch
Love is out there. The problem is guys look mostly for hot chicks. Never mind what she inside.
@@barbarariley3488 Fuck you. Most guys prefer hot chicks thats true. So goes with women preferring hot men. But we both know that we will pick a partner depending on their personality in the end. You wouldnt date a hot person with garbage personality, the same goes with every human being. Stop thinking so narrowly please. I fell in love with a girl who was not "hot" she was ok in looks dptment. I changed her life, she went from D student to an A student. She went from being loud and vulgar to calm, quiet and gentle. That girl who knows I changed her life, she threw me away like trash at the worst moment of my life. Now does this mean all average girls are betraying bitches? No of course not. But now I know for sure I cant trust anybody.
I’ve been coming back to this video most weeks and it’s been 4 months since my girl left me. Stay strong bros and don’t judge the length your healing process. I’m stronger every day but still feel like it just happened some days. Best thing to do is love yourself and look after yourself✌🏻❤️
how’s it now mate 3:15
Where are you now....
Incredible Podcast.
I had to go to therapy after an 8 year relationship since it was the most horrible break up i've ever had.
What helped me is talk endlessly to my best friend and I said things I have never spoken of before, red flags I ignored for years (Really don't know why) and as I spoke more and more I realized how toxic it was for the past 3 years. One of the hardest things is to realize that you didn't know the person as you thought you do.
My therapist said: Tell me. If she didn't break up with you that day, would you still be able to look back and see all those bad things and how she didn't respect you?
Me: Well of course not... I guess I was madly in love?
A quote from my best friend: You ignored the bad things for so long, you lost the sense for beeing angry at her behaviour. At some point you started accepting her bullshit and kept seeing the things you like at her.
feeling a bit better now after 2 months, there are some deep scars left but what helps me is just talk, talk, talk until there is nothing else left to say.
Your comment helped just as much as the podcast. 2 weeks in, no contact, 8 year old relationship, we were gonna turn 8 on November 30. I feel like shit but it was toxic. So many red flags. Thank you brother, God bless you. If you need someone to chat with, I am here. To all brothers out there, we ll make it !
Your comment really helped me, my chest got lighter as i read it because i related hard. Thank you for your comment brother.
@@StefAlin391same man. 8 year would have been end of November also.
It’s crazy to digest it all.
All these comments really help.
@@andrewcardenas653 keep your head up brother. It does get better. Hit the gym, work hard, and make sure you keep busy so you have no time to think of her. God bless you
@@andrewcardenas653 I hope you are better, brother. I am here for you. Keep your head up, it's going to be a long journey to recovery. There will be days where you want to cry and scream, but do not give up hope. Find God, He will pick you up. Above all, guard your heart, it's where all the good comes from. Also.. sadness is unlimited energy and potential. You can become something great, you can do unimaginable things from now on ! Keep your head up and stay strong💪💪
Get rid of Facebook. Trust me.
TheMissing8 100% Delete that shit!
I wish someone told me this looking at their profile is so tempting and easy to rationalise
Go #MGTOW.
Good advice
Advice of the century.
In the end when he talks about going to the gym I remembered back when my first serious relashionship ended and I was feeling like garbage my friend told me "tomorrow morning you are going to wake up eraly, go to the gym and lift the heaviest weights you can for as many reps as you can. Trust me on this one" I did it and spent all day feeling like a bad ass, my cheating ex barely even crossed my mind that day. Exercising is seriously the best heartbreak medicine
And you look good after
@Clara. Kane I'm confused
@@kizmutyaba4965 it's a bot I think or scammer
Seriously thats so low, Who Even make this kind of bots
It's either weights or combat sports.
Hope a couple years later I can come back and tell you guys I made it and stay strong, five years of relationship and she even stayed with me during my cancer fight, now I found her chatting with a guy and even share naked photos, it’s just so heartbreaking, anyway I’ll listen to this video every morning for a year, see if I can go through this.
I'm so sorry bro...8 months ago I was in the same boat...please take care of yourself. Healing will take time, it's definitely not a overnight process but you will get through it. When this happened to me last year I didn't think I would ever recover. But I did and I'm coming back stronger and better than ever...and you will too. Keep your head up bro...I'm here if you need to talk
Stay strong Alex
Hope u alright
Stay hard brother
Please stay strong brother, heartbreak sucks especially when you believed this person to be someone who they wasn’t.
Got cheated with someone in my 4 month relationship
Found out
She was sleeping around with someone all the time
While she was dating me and was willing to get married to me !
Deleted all the pics and chats and erased all her memories
Still fighting through it
Today is the 3rd day of fighting the memories
Just calming myself thinking
4 months better than 4 years
This shall pass too !
Stay positive guys ! You will find true love again 🙂
Amer. Any update? Did you go over it?
She is the most narcissistic, selfish, deceptive and untrustworthy person I've ever met. Gonna use this to better myself as much as possible! LETS GET AFTER IT BROTHERS
They all are
How you progressing? I’m a week out of a relationship with narcissistic women myself
@@crookedwiretap89 well about a month later, tried getting back together, I gave her a chance but she stood me up. Happened again and again. Eventually I said something along the lines of "take care bud." One week later I hear she's pregnant with some dudes kid. I myself, have been doing fucking amazing. Months have went by, and I'm dedicated to my purpose and pursuits, it's the good fight. Stay with it brother, she's negativity with legs. Find your purpose and let it consume you brother. You got this
@@middac7882 cheers man
OMG when I just saw this I thought OMY my latest victim just wrote this. Until I saw the date.
When someone breaks your heart you start to judge yourself. Your judgment. It’s okay to be alone. Build that trust up in yourself.
Wow 💯💯💯
Not a broken heart it's only broken if you let he or she break it
Self control comes many different ways
In mind an out
Is the bullshit they put out if you don't give the time of day
After the fact honey
Preying on someone's mind
Is a way of there guilt
Hearts mend minds mend
is what people say do
that make me say fuck you many young get driven to suicide because who ever they are male or female
Is with is the one who fucked was no break up are the ones with the broken heart
People love fuckin with the mind
You control you don't let any one break you
Because they can't figure you out
To fuckin scared so don't drive people to that point an there won't be no broken any fuckin thing
Unbreakable
Self judgment can be good, if you use it correctly. If you just judge yourself and condemn yourself then that's counter productive. Use it as fuel. Workout, eat better, get more rest and don't go looking to replace that person. Find a hobby you truly enjoy. Read. Take a class.....cooking is a good one.
Then, if you bump into someone who looks like they might be interesting and you're attracted to them you'll present a better version of yourself, because you'll be healthier and in better shape now.
@@tidefanyankee2428 I'm sorry but move on? That sounds really simple but it's not. Have you ever acted in ways that betrays your own usual values. Have your kids ever lied to you over stupid $hit? Did you forgive them or "move on". I'm sorry, I like most of Jocko's stuff but life isn't always so black & white. Have you ever really f@%ked up, were you given another chance? Have you ever forgiven some else who probably didn't deserve but they worked earning your trust back & you were both better for it? Oh & if you have kids together what's better for them? Just move on? Throw out the broken toaster, tv, washing machine, car, etc. Don't bother to fix it, throw it away & move on. Don't worry kids, your new Step-Dad/Step-Mom will be even better than the original. I don't know man, he's usually more nuanced than that.
Its ok to be alone for sometime. You dont want to be alone when you are old
Saying “building a fantasy around them” is literally so intense it’s like you have this dream of what it’s gonna be but deadass like he took the words out of my mouth
It’s a dark place ! I won’t wish this to my enemies.. I needed to hear this
When a woman cheats or dumps you, think of it like this:
She's found a store to shop in. It's your store, and she thinks she can spend some amount of time inside it and find something rare and valuable.
She spends a lot of time and effort shopping, and you spend a lot of time and effort helping her shop (customer service).
Eventually, she decides that the store doesn't have what she's looking for, so she leaves.
She might announce she's leaving, or she might not. She might be polite about it, or she might be rude.
Hell, you might discover one day that she's been shopping at other stores without you knowing.
Regardless of any of this, the answer is the same: *Next customer, please.*
Rob Great analogy, not heard it described like that before
Haris Naz I like she’s never yours, just ur turn.
Don’t think that you’re the only one that has to serve the other in the relationship tho mate.
Great explanation about my situation 😥😥 i gave her everything and done everything that i could to make her happy but now here i am with an empty handed and broken heart. I treated her like a queen and she treat me like a shit. Hope you all have a better relationship ❤️❤️
@@RRRRobbbb you are right bro but its too late, i sacrifice everything for her, now i lost everything including myself
Delete your social media entirely. It helped me to focus on everything around me instead of refreshing her pages. It feels very good to watch life instead of a screen once you get used to it.
Jason Kim agree!
Dude holy shit I'm gonna do this, I'm fkn stupid for not thinking of this before, but thanks for that I'm gonna do it because I know it will help me forget about that person and enjoy life more. Thank you, Jason Kim
@@marckhernandez3692 yo man any progress? I'm about to doing the same thing
Don’t you think that by deleting your social media you’re allowing her to influence your life? After all, if the breakup wouldn’t have happened you would have never deleted it right?
Jg i deleted my social media while I was still in my relationship and when things were going “well” with my ex. Its a good thing to do in general. Unless youre making money on social media, that shit is pointless and a waste of time and energy imo.
Seeing them for what they are is the most important part.
Thanks needed to hear this, after a 7 year relationship she cheated on me so hearing this gives me hope
You got this man, stay strong and keep your head up. She is the one who is losing
@@johndeagler4556 Thanks so much :) I agree in the end her lose. Just focusing on myself now and improving me.
Check with psychologist rite away, u r not okey, u need a therapy
Dude literally me to 11 days ago....
It happened to me a month ago after a 2 1/2 year relationship. I got a gym membership, started killin the weights again, bought new clothes, changed my diet etc. It will get better! Take a break from social media and do the complete opposite of any self destructive behaviors you were doing during the relationship. Get out there and meet new women etc! She’s one of millions of women you can meet out there. Keep your diet clean and kill it at the gym.
Ex-wife cheated on me in 2011. For the next 4 years, I treated myself with liquid therapy. By some pure miracle, I didn't get a DUI (or, worse, hurt someone because I was being selfish & stupid), maintained my job, and didn't lose my license to practice law. Now, 6 years later, only regret I have is wasting 4 years of my precious early-30s crying over someone who simply was not worth it. Wish Jocko/Echo had this Podcast back in 2011. Preach, brothers!
Vik S., Hope you're doing well brother!
Similar to me. I have wasted 13 years, and all of my 30s, wasting tears and pining over my ex gf. She got emotionally involved with a married man, over the internet. She left me for him, as if 5 years with me was worthless. She got pregnant with the scumbag three months later. I cried day and night for six years, and suffered with a broken heart for another 7 years. Why am I suffering, when she should be missing me too?
jesus. Thanks for sharing. Jocko is boss. Thank you sir! Bombs ♡
Look at it this way there isn't anything you wasted not your time money ect because life (mistakes) are a lesson learnt next time you go through this bs or you sense it coming on you know what to do and how to deal with it.
Austin P. It's crazy as fuck cause Iam going thru the same thing bro , only thing IAM hitting 30 next week and seeing ur comment help me realize Iam not alone and Im greatful cause I still have the opportunity of not wasting the next chapter of my life . I have been suffering for the last 5 years and the first 2 I had to spend it incarcerated, it's was hell on earth but I am fighting to keep my self going regardless of what happens in my life ! So if i could help u as u help me , iam here bro and I feel ur pain .
Read/write, learn, lift, wake up early, meditate, train martial arts, learn a new hobbie/skill, hike mountains, dose up on Shrooms/DMT, love and spend time with your family/close friends, make money, and most importantly, follow Your fucking dreams mate.
YEAH!!! FUCK YEAH!!! 👊
Exactly broda 🔥🔥🔥🔥
What if your close friends don’t have your back?
FACTS NIGGAA
@@davidgrimes4210 fuck em and make new ones, surround urself with positive people who support you and ditch the ones that don’t. U got this, I believe in u. I have ur back
This video has helped me through being betrayed while i was being made to feel i was the issue.
Brother I'm going the same, I got your back while we in this.
@@davidchiwaya3707 it gets better. Just stick through. The more time that passes, the more you see clearly. Just stay the course brother.
Same
Marine here. Gave someone 2 years of me to have everything stolen and not another word said. Needed this
Watching this video every morning when I wake and every night before I go to sleep until I get over this breakup.
I think I need to. Been 2 years and still....
1FLEX RECORDS I will too I’m watching now 2 times he’s awesome
@@MeandGod14 I hope it helps you find your happiness. I know with me him talking about mourning the what was supposed to be that never was and I created the person in my head despite the what i saw to be fact. I lost my best friend of 25 years to cancer a year before the breakup so since then i have existed with a physical pain in my chest, never far from tears, never felt so hurt and alone. And people do commit suicide over this stuff, if it weren't for my mom needing me id probably be gone. I go from never wanting to let anyone that close again to trying to talk and get to know someone new but i turn every conversation into a therapy session about my past. I cant move forward while constantly looking behind me but i cant quit looking and feeling. I don't know how to start over, i dont remember how happy feels. I know how to put on a big fake ass smile so people leave me alone and dont worry about me but the night times are rarely good when im alone at home.
My wife wants to Separate and it’s 3 days before our 13 year anniversary ,she saids I’m Mean selfish and a liar smh it’s crazy we just came back from a Family vacation.After everything I’ve done for her and her two kids.
Now I’m just trying to figure out how to get through this emotionally and with everything that I’m going to face in the future with child-support and divorce court. You can never trust women.
Tony Florse man I’m truly from the bottom of my heart feel you and just yesterday she was home is like a stranger absolutely stranger I’ve never met and makes my blood boil it’s so fucking hard but I listen to him lately more times I can count it has definitely help me when I get in the mode of giving it all up I going to try to join the airforce and it’s what I will do if god will help me of course I’m so sorry all I can tell you is don’t give up on yourself its ok to feel all this heartbreak but used it to better yourself ❤️❤️🏋️
For the breakups without betrayal: relationships end, it’s not your fault, it’s not their fault.
It’s normal to miss someone, to suffer, but dedicate to yourself now, work on yourself and move on cause the only person you are constantly with is you.
My ex came back to me a few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back.
Sorry, but this is completely bs. If someone left you.. it is their fault. It you left them it is your fault..
If you did things to make them leave. It is your fault.
@@xFersureMatt sometimes people just get tired or fall for other people and leave you. You can either say it’s their fault or your fault but my point is: that won’t really help you.
@@arbokMelagrana I agree it doesn't help.. honestly, nothing really does. You can mask the pain. But reality is they are gone and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it other than cope and accept the reality of the situation or be miserable forever in distress.
I agree with that for sure. If putting blame on others helps someone cope then okay. But people are people. No matter how much you care and love someone. Anyone can leave. And that's life. :/
@@xFersureMatt the blame game sucks. My wife of 18 years cheated on me in year 17 and it was my fault. I treated her like shit. If i was in her shoes i cant say i wouldnt have done it either. We have been separated for 18 months and I still want her to come home. Were very close and very friendly but we cannot talk about relatiinship. We can talk for hours about anything other than that
This message helped me through the toughest of times. After being cheated on after a 6 year relationship. I laugh now😂. But shit was so tough I couldn't even eat😂
I wish I found this 6 years ago..... but no more lost time!
Go out and buy a dog. A dog truly is a mans best friend. A dogs love is true and unconditional.
Or even better, ADOPT one. Rescue one and give it a better life!
True!!! The love of my life, my dog, is the reason I got through my horrible/messy divorce. If it wasn’t for him, I would be lying in a gutter with a bottle of vodka. Ha
Actually very true
Just dont neglect it if you do buy one and once you get one getting rid of them is never an option.
Haha, when my dog died my father said something similar except it was to build more in my life like family, friends and more pets. He said if you only have one and you lose it then your whole life and happiness is gone. If you have a pet or two, a spouse, some kids, some good friends(even one) then when one leaves or dies or whatever your whole world doesn't come crashing down. It also just means you have a bunch of sources of happiness and support which is awesome. I learnt this because when I was in college I only had my dog, so when he died it affected me way more than it should have. I suddenly had nothing. My dad was like first step is get a new dog, next build some people around you.
..When she leaves you, she was never yours...it was just your turn.
Or perhaps he did not treat me right and I still love him but had to go to respect myself
@ Ric lui
Nice!
@@danielleberry6319 hahahtrue love is constant people who leave can people who really love can not . So your so called love is not real love it is you thinking that is love
Danielle Berry Lady no one wants to know what happened but I’m pretty sure the original comment does not apply to your situation
I read turn as rum.
I lost my family cause of my mistakes. I will never feel the same.
Apologize to your family and rebuild that relationship, rebuild that trust by actions not just words.
You screwed up and theres no going back. My wife is going to experience the same fate as yourself.
Feel like I keep goin through a traumatic breakup every time the relationship ends… my head is fucked up even more this time… man I pray that I find the strength to heal and get to a better place for the sake not only my child but for myself!.. I’m come back in year to this comment and hopefully things are better
Once a cheater , always a cheater ... I really learned this hard way because I dated 3 girls who cheated on there ex’s
And you guessed it ... all 3 of them cheated on me . Cheaters will always cheat .
@SunglazzGaming and by taking this easy way out they don't take the time to look at their issues and improve themselves
Agree♡
One of the hardest concepts to grasp is that not everyone that you let into your heart is here to stay.
I needed to hear this. My girl left me a few weeks ago. She’s the only one I’ve ever trusted this much and the only one that has ever broke me this hard. She literally said in the same sentence “I love you so much! You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had! No one has ever treated me this well before. Even my family thinks so. You are so strong, sexy, funny, and take such good care of my. But I’m not emotionally ready for a relationship right now. This needs to end” we we’re together for 4 months. She said she’s felt that way since day 1 but was hoping the feeling would get better but it didn’t and she’s not ready for anything. She destroyed me. I’m trying to move on but I can’t stop thinking about her
I had a long distance relationship of 3 and a half months with an amazing girl. We epicly loved eachother and planned a future, but she started losing interest, and when I talked to her about her about not being on the same page she denied anything was wrong and she loved me like always. Then out of nowhere she said she doesn't feel a connection anymore and actually started making condescending comments and insulting me. Out of fucking no where this came. I was great to this chick. Haven't contacted her since that last conversation a week ago where we broke up and blocked eachother. That's it. No positive closure, no more knowing eachother. Done. Gone. It was like all of a sudden I didn't know who she was anymore that last Convo. I just feel betrayed and confused. Brutal. She insisted there wasn't another man in the picture. And even talked about coming back in a couple years when she's ready for a relationship. IDK.
@@micahrutland9021 I’m sorry man. It’s tough. It’s crazy to think about how much emotional damage one person can do to another
Since I found this video I've been listening to it every single time I start to remember my ex. When she broke um with me, it destroyed my life. This video gave me hope. Now I know that I need to focus on myself, move on and be better.
Same. Keep up the fight. It gets better
Thanks jacko
When a person shows you who they are, believe them
-- Maya Angelou
Jo Moeke not a man. She passed away. She wrote great books that I've personally owned. Check them out I learned a lot.
I love that quote
My names isaac Murray...touché Isaac Murphy
The first time
I am extremely grateful that I am not with any of the women that I thought I wanted to spend the rest of life on.
"people kill themselves over a lie"
This got me through the worst break up I experienced. I remember listening to this video on repeat everyday. Thank you!
All this is so helpful, I just feel like I’ve lost myself. Watching this and reading these comments has really reminded me that I’m just lost and loosing myself. I relied on her and now it’s just me and it’s hard to move forward. She helped me get over addiction and I always had her. I realize now that I have me and I need to rely on myself again. For anyone feeling the same right now, it’s time for us to get back on the path. It’s time to get better and move forward! It’s time to show ourselves that when it gets tough we are the ones who can take care of ourselves!
"Don't listen to your brain, listen to ME. She's not essential, move on."
Best advice I've heard about relationships. lol!
I totally essential AF. Lose me lose a Diamond.
@@attorneymom35 There are mines full of diamonds.
the time I was reading your comments he said it 😂 😂
"You have to trust someone to be betrayed...I never did"
-Captain John Price
I recite this quote so much.
rewatch the video bro
you will lose many good opportunities .. live bravely and be wise
"The best way to know if you can trust someone is to trust them."
- Ernest Hemingway
@@Defathomize probably don't quote the alcoholic who shot himself in the face lol
This is the only thing I needed to hear , I will play it over and over again until I get it.
How have you been?
Never give second chances everyone. I was watching this video 4 years ago, over a girl that wanted a break and went MIA. Here I am back watching this again,after forgiving her, getting married and having a child. Again she has left but now with my child.
Dam bro...I'm sorry
11:52 "People kill themselves over a lie" It's very true. I've seen it happen and I was an inch away from being one of them.
Stay strong.
Same with me man this life this world is fucked Up
His advice is good, but trust in Jesus. That's the only eternal way.
Don. Diego.98 my girl just invited her “friend” to live with her until he saves up for an apartment and I’m about to end our relationship or leave or something. It’s hard to figure out whether or not to keep truckin for a little while or just cut my losses
@@connorstaggs8664 i ended a relationship recently. My decision was to only make a decision when I was sure I wasn't going to have any regrets. So I waited it out. And the decision eventually got done for me. But for me it was the right decision. If you do cut it. Be certain. If you don't, really start to emotionally separate yourself. Which will make the break up easier.
Whatever you do, have no regrets.
It’s my time for a heartbreak I guess. I can’t force her to love me just gotta accept it the fact it’s done. And move on.
These things happen. If you can't get something good, get something better.
Word
This person is not the person you thought they were 🧐
I'm very lucky I don't need to hear this now, but there was a time in my life when this was EXACTLY what I needed to hear! So happy for the person who hears this when they need it. ❤
I hate that I find myself back here again
Third time in 2 years, same person
You never lose your woman/man, you just lose your turn. Nothing is permanent in life.
I recently had a series of terrible events, plus I was in a 3 yr relationship that should not have lasted 3 months. When the bad times came, guess what? She made it 2x as bad by leaving. The people you rely on have the power to help, and hurt you.
You have to remain in the drivers seat of your own life.
For me the same situation.. she leaves when I need her most. Stay strong
Just happened to me Sunday. Shit sucks to be perfectly honest but hey we'll get through it.
4:07 “workout” don’t take this for granted fellas. Get back in the gym or get in the gym for the first time and learn how to train. Change your life guaranteed.
Love is a 4 letter word. But so is curl. And that's exactly what your gonna do. - Robert Frank
Roger That!!👍
You feel like shit and can't get out of bed over your heartache? GOOD, GET AFTER IT!
I got the gym from 3 am to 5 am and I'm still depressed.
100% get that work!!
I was just broken up with 2 days ago and this video is helping me, I am going to live well and that will be my revenge
I feel for everyone going through a breakup that has you feeling shattered. I was heart broken, my ex suddenly moved out and said she didn’t want me or my son. It all happen so fast and I was in disbelief and during grieving. I played back all the good times, and thought of all the “what if’s and “if only”. Life’s best teacher is failure. Don’t let this breakup/guilt bring you down to the bottle or worse. Instead, accept the mistakes you committed no matter how hard it is and be grateful for the wisdom you have gained. Accept reality and become a better man. Be grateful for the love and experience and move on. One day, you’ll find your person.
My ex-girlfriend at 29 left me before New Year's 2020 for the guy she crushed on ever since she was 14. She did this behind my back and said she loved me, and was happy. She was the love of my life and I wanted to get engaged with her after being together for 2 years. You go from feeling in love one day with the woman of your dreams, to be completely lonely the next.
A few weeks later, her new relationship fell through on it's ass, and I was out dating and met someone new. Karma can also have it's way with a liar and a cheater sometimes.
Oooohh dear I feel yay
What you dont realize is you felt lonely even before meeting her....learn to stop feeling lonely when you are alone!
Deyeam broski
I bet that felt gooood
She is dead as jocko says it should not register ...you moved on