REAL CHAT: Answering Your 🔥 Questions!
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- Опубліковано 12 жов 2023
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Get ready with me in this REAL CHAT, I'm answering YOUR top questions!
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Anyone who says to keep trying to have a relationship with your mom has never experienced a narcissistic relationship. Love to you!
I just want to say thank you all for being so supportive and loving, you really don’t know what might happen when sharing things like this. I also wanted to say how terribly heartbroken I am over reading so many of your experiences. 😢 I’m so glad many of you were able to do what was best for your own mental health, that takes courage and shows incredible strength! You are all amazingly strong, beautiful women. You have blessed me beyond measure! ❤
They say "hurt people, hurt people ..." v true of ur mum x
I agree 100 % that family favoritism can hurt a child / children , I'm 51 years old I've dealt with it myself
I support your decision to set a very firm limit with your abuser. You did the right thing Zabrena. You are a strong woman, to be admired.
Me too! Same situation.... forgiveness can involve a strong fence!!
I am right there with you. My mother is literally the same. As a matter fact, it almost sounds like you were describing my mom. We have not spoken in over 20 years. And being a Christian, I get attacked by people saying as a Christian. I should forgive her and I have forgiven her I just do not want a relationship. She hurt me in so many ways And she’s not willing to admit that she was wrong. It’s really not even that. I just don’t want to be hurt anymore. So I understand where you’re coming from and I would back you in that as well. You have to look out for yourself and your family. By the way I’m in central Florida probably not far from you so hello fellow Floridian!
My mother was a narcissist too, but she was the classic, overt kind. She made my life a living hell growing up, and I'm the only child, also the scapegoat. She used to slap me in the face too....until one day, when I was 14, I slapped her back ...in the face. Her smear campaign worked, and none of my family have spoken to me in 35 yrs....which is fine with me. Anyone that quick to believe the worst about you, or that quick to believe outright lies, is what what they wanted to believe all along...I don't need people like that, even if they're "blood ". I'm happy she's dead now. I've been in healing process now for almost 7 yrs, and have made a lot of progress, which I'm very thankful for. God always has a way of taking care of me, and it's been wonderful to experience that. ❤ So happy my life has turned out well, considering how sh*tty it started out. Thank you for always ending with speaking Love, Peace and Joy....it really makes a difference hearing that. ❤💃🏼🥂🎉❤
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Hi Zabrena. It’s nice to see you broke the abuse cycle. Stay positive, those babies need that from you! Thank you.
I support you and admire you for breaking a generational cycle. ❤
I feel you and my heart goes out to you! I havent spoken with my mom for 4 years and its such a painful, harsh reality. Mourning over a mother that is not dead but cannot be in your life. I see other people who are super close with their moms and I am so glad to see that bonds like that exist, however, it does sting. Here's to being the mothers we wish we had and raising our sweet children with love and support! ❤
Dads who embrace their daughter's interests (especially in subjects they don't know or are more traditionally feminine) are the best. Your dad has always sounded like a great man and seeing you- he definitely was. All the love to him because we have you. You are such a beautiful soul.
The story of your husband and you meeting was adorable!
Good for you for holding your boundaries and standing up for yourself and your family. My mother-in-law is like this.
Oh man, I'm sorry; it's tough when you are in that situation :(
I had a mother in law like that. I was more relieved that she was out of my life more than her wackodoodle of a son. Heck, the whole bunch of them were crazy.
@@msr1116 can relate, my ex-MIL was overt, malignant. My ex was passive-aggressive and covert. Happy to be away from all of them.
My heart breaks for you about your mom! I was so blessed to have the best mom! Bless you for being so honest! 🥰
Ahhh, what a beautiful blessing, I'm so happy you got to have one in your life! :)
You need to protect your peace. Wishing you blessings
Amen to this! Thank you, hun :)
I can totally relate with the narcissistic mother. ❤
A few questions for you:
1. As a cat lady, How many cats are too many? (I'm looking at adding two more, making it three fluffeh kitties!)
2. What is the oldest piece of makeup (or tool) that you still have?
3. Coffee or tea?
4. Will you have Corinne on again? (If you're not friends anymore, then please skip this one!)
5. Can you do a make up declutter video?
As my husband would have said “ enough is enough “! My mother was the same! I never said anything to her, my family saw it and I ignored it. My husband and kids knew and put up with her for me. Now at 72 she’s gone and I had no sadness. I lost my wonderful husband of 51 years last April, my heart broke.
I'm sorry for your loss, bless you
I’m so sorry you were treated this way by your mother. My mother was mentally abusive to me & she always favored my sisters so I can relate.
There is nothing worse than favoritism, I'm so sorry you experienced that
I send you lots of love. My mum was also a toxic narcissist right up to her death bed. Those you have never experienced it can never understand why you set boundaries and protect yourself
I completely agree on the marriage advice! Apologize when you’re wrong, treat them well and tell them how you appreciate them. It can be easy to take each other for granted, and it’s a constant focus for me to remember and appreciate my partner. Xoxo
Well said! ❤️
Omg Zabrena Your description of your Dad reminds me so much of mine. I miss him so much. He passed in 1999. He was always so encouraging and a very positive person as well.
Funny, my hubby and I met at the bank. I was a teller and he came thru to cash his check and dropped a note in asking me to dinner. 26 years and four kids later, we're still plugging along.
Aw! This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing!
Really appreciated this - it was just too short! Ha!
It sounds like your mother was a clone of mine! How I would LOVE sitting down with you for an afternoon! I would love to know more about how you coped with it all, but then you did say after age 9 you didn’t live with her. My situation was that my dad died right before my 9th birthday. So all we had was my mother. It was really tough growing up. She absolutely was a covert narcissist! I fell in love when I was 15 - yes, 15. I look back now and realize the Lord was really taking care of me. We married two weeks after I graduated high school (I was 18) and we’ve been married 54 years! The Lord has been so good to us, blessed us in so many ways, and we truly praise Him! My husband had a tough childhood due to poverty and an alcoholic father, but we were both Christians, and by God’s grace and mercy we went to college, have raised our two daughters in a Christian home, and put them both through college. We didn’t want them to scrape for every meal in college like we did! They are fully aware - and have seen - my mother’s narcissism before she passed 7 years ago. They are in their 40’s, one married and gave us the two best grands in the world! Ha! And the other is a social worker who works with children from dysfunctional families.
Thanks again for a great video! I love your channel and your witness for our Lord! Forgive the length of my comments, please! Bless you and you precious family!
I'm so very sorry that your Mom has hurt you and continues to do so. You're right, forgiveness doesn't mean fellowship. Sometimes, you have to separate yourself from people who will spiritually, emotionally and physically drain you. I have had to do that in my own life with family members. It's not that I don't love them, but I love me too and if having them close is harmful to me, then I shut it down.
I do love this style of video and enjoyed getting to know you more. I love all your content! Hope you and your family have a blessed weekend ❤
Thank you for this!! For so many reasons thank you 🥹 My mother-in-law treats me and our kids the same way. She’s been out of our life for 20 years but when she does come around for my husband to “pull her out” she ALWAYS treats ME horrible. I won’t be in the same room with her alone even after 26 years of marriage. My husband is an amazing man who respects my boundaries with her. ❤️ You are an amazing strong Christian woman and an awesome mom to your babies 🥰
I haven't spoken to my mother in 4 years and it's been amazing. I have healed so much without the sore being reopened by her. I thought that in time I would want to have her back in my life but it's so peaceful without her. God bless you and your family
Thank you for your honesty. I have been watching you for years, even though I wear very little makeup. You are a good person. God Bless you ❤
All I can say is, I would be so proud to be your mom. Keep finding the light. Love to you and your family.
You are brave to open up on your life. Keep the faith and God bless ya'll.
I had to distance myself from my mother as well as other family members also. The instances of verbal abuse were starting to be directed at my children, and i knew I had to put my foot down and put a stop to it. Just hecause you are related to these people does not mean that they get the right to a relationship with you. Im proud of you for not letting the cycle continue. ❤
I'm so sorry things didn't work with your mom. You tried, you put in the effort and that's what matters. Your choice to protect you and your family is an honorable one and I admire it. I have watched your videos for years and have loved each and every one of them. Thank you for being you.
Our tongues can be our biggest weapons. We could all benefit from taming our tongues or consciously talking in a more positive uplifting way. I'm so sorry you couldn't have the supportive, loving mama you've always longed for. I'm in the same boat. Prayers for the family!!!
Zabrena, I couldn't be more proud of you for so many things - for your faith, for putting your family and mental health over your mother, for choosing the Abeka program, and for being so honest, loving, and loveable. You truly inspire me to be a better person. Much love to you. - xx, Carla
Also, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you had to deal with so much from your mother. I'm reminded constantly of how lucky I was to have the parents and childhood mine gave me. I was only 22 when my mom passed away and it hasn't always been easy to do life without her, but I'm learning that she gave me so much more in those years than so many get from their mother in twice or triple the time together.
Your father sounds like he was pretty amazing and tried to make up for your mom's shortcomings, which is very admirable.
You are so right about needing to heal from those childhood trauma's in order to move forward and have a good life and good/healthy relationships. God does indeed have His hand on all of us.
You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I also want to say how much I admire and respect you for keeping your children off-camera. With some of the horrible stuff that’s been happening with kids online recently, it’s refreshing to see how you prioritize your children’s privacy. ❤
Thank you for discussing your experience with narcissistic abuse. Narcissism runs in my family, and both my parents are covert narcissists who ended up stuck with each other. It's not easy to disconnect from family members, and you grieve the relationship. Narcissistic abuse is real and it destroys people. I have Complex PTSD and other health issues stemming from what I went through for years. I'm working on rebuilding myself and my life now. It's great to see the life/family you have built after what you have gone through!
You did the right thing. You don’t get to pick your parents. Stay strong and positive.
I used ABeka and loved it for both our kids for 11 years. Our daughter was able to graduate in person on stage in Pensacola with 500 other ABeka Academy students and meet many of the teachers that she had throughout the years! Our son was 2 years behind so he was there and met them, also. This ended up being a big blessing because when he graduated we were going to fly to Florida again for his graduation but they had to cancel the ceremony due to the coronavirus. I must say, it is an excellent education! We even toured the Academy campus which was another highlight- seeing where all their classes are filmed! I pray your children have wonderful memories with their homeschooling experience- ours have said they would do it all over again:) ❤
Would love to see a wedding photo. Great video. Love your honesty about your past. You made a good decision not to
Have an abusive person in your life. You’re so very down to earth and real. It a pleasure watching your channel.
I finally decided this year that I am no longer forcing relationships - family or not. Thank you for being so open!
I’m so sorry to hear about your relationship w/your mom. I pray one day the Lord softens her heart & opens her eyes so that your relationship can be restored. I also used Abeka homeschooling my 7 kids; it was great! I love seeing the joy of the Lord on you! Keep these kind of videos coming please!!
Hi Zabrena! I have been watching your videos for a while. After seeing this one, I had to subscribe. You are so beautiful inside and out. You bring me such joy when watching and listening to you speak. I love listening to utubers that express their love of Christ and obviously have a relationship with Him. God bless you sweet one!
Thank you for trusting us with your revelations, Zabrena. My heart aches for the girl who didn't get the motherly love she deserved, but what an incredible mother you have turned out to be. Bless you, sweet girl ❤
I always love these types of videos from you, it's like talking to a friend. Many don't like to open up like this but thank you so much for sharing private information with us, it helps to not feel alone in this world. It really means a lot! I'm so sorry for what you went through with your mom but I'm glad you're looking out for you and your family's well being. 🙏
Hearing you speak up about your mother and reading all of the other comments of women who have been in similar situations is so helpful for me. Thank you for puting yourself out there, it feels good to know we aren't alone in our struggles with abusive family and walking away can be the only way to live a happy life sometimes. ♡
There's another channel I watch occasionally about narcissism where the comments section under every video is filled with cathartic stories and tons and tons of supportive replies. A few bad actors get through and wish they'd get deleted but nearly all are at least helpful in making us feel we're not alone in our experiences.
@msr1116 Thank you for sharing ♡ If you have the channel name, I might like to check it out. Hope you have a good weekend! :)
@@melissafisher1448 . Oh sure, here it is:. DoctorRamani
The advice you gave about relationships is very true. Building that empathy and emotional maturity is the key to a healthy relationship with understanding and respect.
And I just want to say I’ve felt your growth just through watching you through the years. I can feel how much you’ve let go of the past and just let love shine through you. I hope to be in position and have such a lovely family like yours one day ❤
Sabrina, I felt like you were describing tons of situations in my life with my mom. I once had to go three years without speaking to her. I grieved like you and now we live across the country and we do speak but it’s much better because I don’t have to have her around us anymore. I just send her pictures and vice versa. Covert Narcissism is real and it hurts like hell.
You are an amazing human being, Z. You don't know how much I looked up to you. You amazed me in so many levels. How humble, kind and cheery yet calm of a person you are. ❤🌹
This video was great and sometimes in my opinion god will send you an angel to tell you just what you needed to hear without them even knowing it. You were that angel for me today and I felt convicted to thank you for just being you . Have a beautiful rest of your weekend.
Thanks for talking about praying for humility daily. I used to do that. It works. I need to get back to that.
FYI: humility is NOT less than. It is being truly who you are.
Also i LOVE when you make longer videos like this, id love even longer form of content from you! You are so calming to listen to! Im always bummed when your video is over!
As adults we finally have the ability to make decisions as to who stays or goes in our lives. That includes family choice!
The fact that your dad sent you to a makeup school to help you learn just brought tears to my eyes! I know you must miss him so much.
Watching your video brought tears to my eyes. You just told my story! I don't have any relationship with my mother for years. Just can't have that level of negative disposition around me. I do pray for her.
I adored this video I agree when you surround yourself (physically and mentally) with positivity you exhale it! I have removed most of the toxic people from my life.
Zabrena, stay your ground. I have been estranged from my family for more than 30 years; I have been judged, questioned and criticized. Hardest thing ever to walk away and keep my sanity. You are a beautiful person, you choose your family and friends. Bless you, beautiful woman. ❤️ Bless you.
As someone who put up with the same kind of grandfather that your mother was and witnessed my mother going through what you did, you have done the right thing. It's so hard, walking away from family, but it has to be done - I mean, we wouldn't allow friends like this into our lives, so why just because we share DNA? My Mom and I are always saying how we wish we could burn the DNA of my grandpa out of our bodies, he was that bad. I applaud you for what you did but I still applaud those who feel like they are stuck and have to keep going with the person - it's such a terrible thing to go through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!
I had the same type of childhood and relationship with my mom. This reminded to heal and be positive for myself and my future. Thank you for your raw honesty!
I know this was difficult to talk about with your mother but i definitely appreciate your opening up. I have a similar thing with my mother and sister except they are both active addicts along with many other things. I don't wish these things in antibes but im very happy to know someone i admire (as you) has gone through some issues. But your husband story is the cutest! I would LOVE to hear more about him. I know and respect that you try to keep things fairly private but its nice to see this other side ❤❤
You are such a blessing. ❤
You really have shown alot of good growth in the last few years.
I really enjoyed getting to know more about you through this video. Of course, it is so sad that you had to endure such difficult times but you are so strong and beautiful!
I've been following you since 2015 and you have always been a shining light back then but this video proves how beautiful of a person you really are .
Great video. I have always admired your convictions as I have followed you through most of them. You are a strong, yes humble, woman.
Oh, let’s not forget how talented, intelligent, and beautiful!
Thank you for everything you do to enlighten us.
Cannot wait for the faith video sis 🩷🌷 Good that you were able to spot the Narc pretty quick! God Bless! Forgiveness & boundaries are Wise!!
I totally get you, "Will I ever be goord enough" from Karyl McBride is a great tool in order to heal.
Good for you, stand your ground. My mom is a covert narcissist with psychotic episodes. (are we sisters?) I've tried for 50 years to get along with her but I realized it was never going to happen. She was very physically abusive to my little brother and completely denies it now. She has even convinced him that he deserved most of it. I'm tired of trying to make nice with her, I don't hate her but I don't love her and I cannot trust her. You have every right to not invite people to stay in your life if they don't respect it. And for those who say she should get to see the grandkids, keep in mind being a grandparent is a privilege not a right. Something I wish I had realized long ago. Blessed be to you and your family.
U can have love for someone but that doesn’t mean they get to be in your life and invade your peace ❤
EXACTLY. This!
Really nice how you articulate all of your personal relationship issues, still open and educational for us to hear but still not too much disclosing in regard of the other persons involved :)
Ive been watching you for so many years. It's so beautiful to see you transition into an incredible mother and still make time for us. I also love in fl and I would love to do your makeup and have you do mine! God bless you and your family. ❤
I’ve followed you from the beginning. You are an amazing woman. Much love and blessings to you.
You are a lovely person. Thank you for sharing your journey. I really like your analogy that negative speaking are words of death & positive speaking are words of life.
She sounds exactly like my mom. I had to cut ties with her 25 years ago and I’ve never looked back but it’s still very sad. You did the right thing for yourself and for your family. God bless.❤️👍
Thank you so much for talking about your mom. I too have a narcissistic mother who favored my brother and is still abusive. I struggled with trying everything to make it work because I believed that is what God wanted me to do. But nothing changes. I've struggled for years in therapy because I couldn't give up on her but you have me the courage to choose my mental well being. God bless.
My mom was a narcissist as well. Just a few things I’ve learned. Never argue with a narcissist, you cannot win. Always remember there is nothing they won’t do for you (during good times) and nothing they won’t do to you (when angered)!
Love your positive attitude😊
The pride and childhood topic, thank you! I needed a reminder on that ♥️
I’m so sorry that you don’t have a loving mother and I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself and your family ❤
Dear Zabrena - I haven't even finished this yet, but I have to say THANK YOU for being so open about your experiences with childhood trauma and emotional (im)maturity. I have experienced and witnessed triggers like this, in myself and in others, and I only wish more married people understood this. Grateful you are spreading awareness! Also that story about meeting your husband is so sweet (and gives me a bit of hope... maybe I'll run into my person at the bank 😂).
Wow- i’m so sorry that you had to experience having such a horrible mother, the person who is supposed to love you more than they love themselves. But I am happy that you acknowledge your worth, and your families worth, and can walk away from a toxic relationship.
How time flies, I remember you announcing your first born on the channel when I was in highschool, and now I have graduated college! You really did teach me so much about makeup and I still watching you're videos til this day. Also, thank you for the honesty you hade in answering the questions in this video. I've never been in a relationship before, but your advice has given me something to consider when I eventually have one some day. Trauma is hard, I know from experience, so it was very nice to hear your perspective on how it can affect relationships and how you set boundaries.
Hi Zabrena! I love how honest you are about your marriage and I really resonate with your advice. You seem like a wonderful wife and mother ❤
This question and answer was very relatable for me. I too experienced what you went through only on a much more severe level. I would go for years of not speaking to my mother because of emotional abuse. She was 95 years old when she passed from Covid, but I spent 2 years prior taking care of her because she couldn’t be left alone. I tried to talk to her one day to ask why she hated me so much growing up and she looked at me like I was crazy for asking and never answered me. This is already too long and I apologize. I will say I was the only child of six that took care of her and am grateful that I did, not resentful in the least because I knew I did the right thing. What I am on trying to say is I am on your side and understand completely why you want nothing to do with her. Those years of my isolating myself from her were my happiest. Thank you a million times for sharing and affording me the ability to relate to you.
You're so right in defending your family. Thank you for that update. It's okay to dust your feet off and leave the relationship; you can still pray for her. Where did you get that light peach blouse? I'm always looking for that color.
Great video Zabrena. :)
I loved it thank
You!!
Thank you for sharing!
I love this kind of video, is like been with a friend, just chatting, lovely. I think you are beautiful and charismstic, inside and out.Keep it up❤
This was a wonderful video.
loved this style of video ❤
❤ this type of video!
I totally understand having to detach yourself from a toxic relationship with your mother. You were the bigger person and tried to have a relationship, you opened up your home to her and she abused that hospitality. Disrespecting you, your husband and her behavior with your kids is absolutely not acceptable. You have made the right choice for you and your family to stay away. ❤
I really enjoyed this style of video. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. That was brave. ❤
I always enjoy your videos.
So much empathy and respect to you for your decision to cut ties. I was the scapegoat and there was lots of triangulation of us siblings against each other and against each of our parents. I also had to cut ties and experienced a smear campaign which resulted in police involvement. I was very close with my siblings and their children but no longer see them either as they chose to stay within the family system and I understand why given my horrible experience of standing up for myself and setting boundaries. Narcissism is so complex and insidious! It takes a long time to recover from that abuse and to figure out who you are afterwards.
Thank you for sharing you are awesome ❤
Thanks for being so honest. Love you and your channel. As a Christian I can’t wait for your vide on Faith. 🥰
Loved this video so much!! More please!!
You are a lovely human being, Zabrena. Thank you for the affirmation on speaking positively. So important!
Ahhh - this whole video was so vulnerable. So brave. ❤ Loved it.
I totally understand about your mom. I tried really hard with mine but finally had to set that boundary. 🙏🏻
Loved this! So nice to get to know you more. 💜🙏🏻💜
I loved this discussion. Thank you!❤