Living Independently as an Autistic Adult
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- Опубліковано 8 бер 2023
- There's more I wanted to mention and forgot so there may well be a follow up to this lmao
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I've been struggling keeping up with my part time job. It's the longest job I've been able to hold down (since 2020). It's online which is why I've lasted so long. But I'm still struggling! I've always dealt with shame of not having a job as well. It's something that's conditioned in us early on. What society fails to recognise is that we have our own personal paths and they all don't have to involve a career. A non-working being is just as worthy as one who does. You're contributing so much just by putting yourself out there and reminding us we're not alone
It was super recently I was struck by how odd it is that one of the main questions we ask children is literally what job they want to work when they grow up. That shouldn’t be the most important thing to think of when it comes to being an adult!
@@DanaAndersen I never knew what job career I wanted to do when I was at school. Thought about being a postman in my last year at school. Couldn't get on the YTS(remember those?) for postmen/women. I ended up in the post office counters YTS and bloody hated it, lasted 6 months before I quit and went on the dole, lol. And then the job centre penalised me for 3 months for quitting my YTS. It wasn't much money on unemployment benefit back in 1992/3 for someone only 18. It wasn't much more than what I was getting on the YTS gig which was £35 a week plus travel expenses minus £3.
Living with a housemate counts as living independently. So does living with a significant other. It doesn't have to literally mean by yourself
True, I guess I feel like it’s kinda different to live independently while single than when living with a partner who (should) share some of all the responsibilities!
30 year old here. I moved out about 8 or 9 years ago and I am now without a job as well.
I don't really have any advice, because I'm not from the UK, so no idea what other support options you might have.
But I now how you feel. Working 10 hours per week really took some financial stress off me. But I'm not sure it was worth the stress this job caused me. But why did I expect a job as a cashier would me manageable for me as an autistic lady? No idea.
My thoughts about your situation are:
Don't be ashamed, there are more important things to a person than having a job.
You can always try to make UA-cam your job. I don't know how hard it is to do, but that's an option. Patreon, Instagram, whatever.
Also, if you're ever in an emergency money wise, just open a fundraiser. There's no shame in asking for help, if you need it.
I'm happy for you! You deserve to feel joy and indulge a little. And you're allowed to.
You mentioned working can cause burnout, but even just looking for a job can as well. I still haven't been able to find a job after graduating two years ago and it has been pretty hard. Interviews require a substantial amount of social energy and it can be very draining having to go through multiple without having any success.
I'm probably autistic. I work in software :) And I like that some of the money I earn helps people who can't work stay alive.
Thanks, that sounds quite different from what I usually hear in the USA.
@@Catlily5 Tax is the entrance fee to living in a civilised society :(
It’s a field that seems to attract a lot of us, and I wish more people saw it that way?
@@tomdg13 Yes and even poor people pay sales tax in many countries.
Logged into my UA-cam account to give you a sub! As resonated a lot with this video. I’m 27, late diagnosed with autism and still live at home. I’m currently studying to become a nurse which is a whole challenge in itself but actually where I struggle the most with my autism is the taking care of myself (counter intuitive I know). I would struggle immensely to move out and live independently. So give yourself some credit, and thank you for sharing. ❤
Yep the money thing is scary. Every time my PIP is under review it gets stopped (its happened 3 or 4 times now) and I discovered that the ESA I get per month doesn't cover my monthly direct debits for my Bill's alone. I'm petrified of this continuously happening as my parents wont always be here to help. It can take ages to win it back and I can't even think about not getting it back at all. I was also shocked to find out that I wont be able to claim benefits ever again when I inherit my parents house! Apparently I would be forced to sell the house and to survive on the money that's left after taxes are paid! I'm going to be 40 in May and I'm still recovering from possible burn-out that started September 2021 so havnt left the house since then without my dad help as he drives and I cant due to medication. I tried getting carers in while my dad was in hospital but it was costing aprox £140 per week with the highest discount which I could never afford long term as I would always be in debt! Terrifying xx
@@artemisXsidecross thank you, its definitely a struggle for us all. So little understanding and lack of funding unfortunately
I’m dreading having my pip reassessed, it’s the only thing keeping me afloat most months and the fact they stop it for months at a time is disgusting, it should be able to be reassessed earlier so there’s no gap. I hate being the person to give unsolicited advice when I both don’t know what you’ve already tried, and know it didn’t work for me, but have you considered trying to get a social worker? I had a family member go through them to organise carers for free, and it wasn’t brilliant, but it was more than nothing!
@@DanaAndersen I tried several times to get a social worker but the council and others I asked told me they don't offer social workers anymore but they did refer me to be assessed for physical additions for my flat. I waited aprox 4 years for social services to finally send someone out to assess me and my flat! I live in a flat that has two floors (maisonette), everything is upstairs except my kitchen and eventually I had to stop going downstairs (as couldn't get back up) which then ment I couldn't get food so waiting several years to be assessed was not helpful, especially as I was then told that I can't get a stair lift due to lack of space between my front door and the bottom of the stairs, so they recommended that I move to a ground floor flat! I've now been looking for a council flat the last couple of years but recently discovered that where I am is the only place that offers communal heating which I can't live without as I wouldn't be able to risk turning my heating on with the cost these days! I pay aprox £60 per month (all year round) for the communal heating (it is part of my rent). With it being a set amount I NEVER turn it off, it's on 27 constantly which I defo couldn't afford anywhere else! My mate is paying £150 per month and she hardly has it on!! Anyway it looks like I have to stay where I am which is stressful!! Who did you contact for the social worker? X
I have lived on my own all my adult life. I can't imagine sharing living space with someone and don't think I could cope with it. I need my own space and am used to doing my own things when I want to do them. In a sense I am an "institutionalised" loner. There can be clear benefits to living with others (as well as drawbacks) but it's much harder when you've been alone for a long time. I am sure people who have lived with others all their life equally find it hard to live alone although of course much depends on who they've previously lived with.
The last few months have been the first time in my adult life I’ve had a space (my room) that’s exclusively mine and not also a partners, and although the romantic in me loves sharing a space, I don’t think I could go back to not having anywhere that’s just mine at this point! I think I definitely do best having someone else around the house, but I definitely need to be able to just do my own thing in my own space as and when I want!
Sort your council tax ASAP! I just got a court order because I moved address and forgot to notify them. They want £3,000 that I simply do not have as an unemployed disabled autistic. I was eligible for council tax relief and the only thing that changed was my location. They aren't kind. Avoid my mistake. x
I did!! It’s absolutely terrifying how there’s 0 consideration for various situations and people, so I got it sorted as quickly as I could. It was still a nightmare and more than I hoped it’d be, but I’ve managed to not get slammed like you have.
I really hope you’re able to get something sorted to cancel or pay off the debt 💕
I have had only one job since leaving school not counting YTS in nearly 30 years and that was a cleaning job for ASDA which only lasted 5 weeks two days a week(I was better off on JSA tbh). Other than about 4 years on JSA I mostly been on carers allowance and income support caring first for my mum and now my dad. About to start the claim for PIP, oh that is going to be fun, they sarcastically said.
Housing and council tax reduction benefits are available. Contact your council to find out if you qualify. All my rent and council tax is already paid for by my council. I only pay water rates towards my rent, soon to be £7.11 a week next month(I pay it automatically with a standing order every week).
I think I am Autistic ADHD & Dyspraxic , i cant work, i live with my partner who i have issues with , i want to live independently but it feels very scary to
It’s super scary, I had so many sleepless nights and meltdowns from the stress and anxiety of it all, but it’s SO worth it and so much better! We can do so many incredible things, the scary thing is the unknown, and once we’ve done it we can look back and know we didn’t need to be as scared as we were.
Way, way too relateable.
Does your city have a low income vet? If you don't have money for food can you get some free food from any churches or local charities?
I am in the USA so I don't know how things work in the UK.
@@artemisXsidecross I agree!
@@artemisXsidecross Glad that you enjoyed them.
Its the type of stuff I’ve been lucky to not yet have to look into, but definitely will be when I need to. We’ve had a massive rise in food banks being around, but also a huge rise in the amount of people needing them, so it’s a bit of a situation for the whole country atm
@@artemisXsidecross I only understand about a third of Spanish so I can't claim to understand them very well. But I heard from my friend who told me about Violeta that she stood up for the rights of the Native people in Chile and other disadvantaged people.
@@DanaAndersen Hopefully you won't need it. But at least if you have to take your cat to the vet you can still eat that month.