Hello you savages. Get up to 32% discount on the best supplements from Momentous at livemomentous.com/modernwisdom Get 20% discount on Nomatic’s amazing luggage at nomatic.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM) Get 5 Free Travel Packs, Free Liquid Vitamin D and more from AG1 at drinkag1.com/wisdom Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Talking Vs Doing 05:34 Run a Race With Yourself 11:19 Life-Changing Decisions Are Never Simple 20:13 The Value of Going Through Difficulty 29:40 Be Quiet, Work Hard & Stay Healthy 40:00 Be Clear on What Success Is 55:48 Stop Wanting Things to Be Easy 1:03:02 Self-Improvement as a Parent 1:12:07 Is Justice the Most Important Virtue? 1:22:40 Why Gandhi Was Such a Genius 1:32:04 How Marcus Aurelius Kept His Integrity 1:44:34 How to Know If You’re Doing the Right Thing 1:55:20 The Rise of Stoicism Among Young Men 2:05:32 Where to Find Ryan
Absolutely, understanding that stoicism isn’t about becoming detached or indifferent is crucial. It’s about managing our reactions and emotions to lead a more rational and peaceful life, not about suppressing empathy or becoming cold-hearted. Stoicism encourages us to recognize our interdependence with others and to act with virtue and kindness. The philosophy’s true power lies in its ability to foster resilience and inner strength, while still allowing for compassion and human connection. This episode indeed highlighted the essence of stoicism beautifully.
Hey Chris having a child was something I did kind of late and it fills me with regret. I want more kids but I'm in a wonderful, loving relationship now where we can't have more kids. I dont think you should put it off. I know you have a list of stuff you want to do, but, that list changes when you have a child, and it makes your prior prioritizations pale in comparison. Something I didnt think of before I had my child, was how much i want to spend time with her when shes an adult. Just hanging out, talking about life, and helping her out. And since Im a bit older, I'll see less of her in my life than I want now. That keeps me up at night. I'd be a less good and stable parent 10 years ago, but I'd still have been more than good enough as a parent. So I can only speak for myself, but I think those years you gain with your kid might be worth more than a todo list might be, especially as your wants change when you become a parent. Anyway, just my two cents, you do you.
Agreed. I have one child I had at 22. It came with challenges so I prioritized her. I almost died when she was a toddler. I was never promised any amount of time with her. Now at 32 I want more of this wonderful family. I look forward to grandbabies. I am afraid of the guilt I might have if I don't see grandbabies. My 18 year old self would not understand the transformation I've been through. I am so grateful for my 22 year old self who was fully terrified of pregnancy but followed through, creating a wonderful family. If this is all I get, this has still been a wonderful ride. Congratulations on your family, too.
Your reflections on parenthood are deeply moving. The shift in priorities and the unexpected depth of the desire to share more time with your child are poignant reminders of the profound impact children have on our lives. Balancing personal goals with the immeasurable joy and responsibilities of parenthood can be challenging, but the time spent nurturing those relationships is invaluable. Your insights highlight the importance of considering the long-term emotional connections and shared experiences that come with raising a child. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt perspective.
Abandoning a project before completion because I've already worked it out in my head - definitely guilty of that sometimes. The rewarding part is often the creation of a vision.
This is the majority of my life. I gather all the things and obsess over the process. Once I have everything and understand it…I stop. I rarely do the thing.
It's fascinating how the mind can sometimes trick us into feeling accomplished before we’ve even finished a project. Visualizing the outcome is an essential part of the creative process, but translating that vision into reality is where the true satisfaction lies. It’s a reminder that the journey, with all its challenges and learning experiences, is just as rewarding as the final result. Staying committed to the process, even after the initial excitement fades, is what separates a fleeting idea from a lasting creation.
What a gift this episode has been. The opportunity to indulge and listening to these two amazing men has been an added learning path in my sacred journey of my own life experiences. I commend you both for the courage, the confidence of self belief in your share of wisdom and offering the steps of added knowledge for us all. I am just me a 70-year-old soul living the life of gratefulness for always allowing my heart to be open to learning that only adds to the experiences that my years have already gifted me with. When the death of my heart and soul, thank you, and please continue on paving the way for Hope energy of life, which is so much needed as we transition through this world in each of our journeys….🦋💕🦋
Your words beautifully capture the essence of lifelong learning and gratitude. Embracing each experience with an open heart and a willingness to learn transforms every moment into a valuable lesson. Your appreciation for the shared wisdom and the hope it brings is truly inspiring. It’s a reminder that wisdom grows with age and that keeping an open heart allows us to continually enrich our lives. Your journey underscores the importance of gratitude and the continuous pursuit of knowledge, no matter where we are in life.
I used to talk a lot about my intentions: "I want to do this", "I should do that". And barely do anything after. This year, I decided to stop talking and act in silence instead. It's hard. There are some projects, as I start working on them I feel the urge to talk about it to someone. I have to resist to this urge if I want to continue. The urge also comes once I take a break or I've done my daily part. I still felt the need to share my projects to a few people, but only a minority. Some don't know what I am working on and this is great. I still say sometimes that I am working on something and will reveal it to them when the time is right. But I honestly wish I could just say NOTHING! I am as well convinced that talking depletes your energy for action. The less you care about people's opinion and aknowledgement, the better you can achieve what you want. And keeping some mystery around yourself makes you more powerful and interesting as a person.
I completely relate to this message. I recently came across a quote that perfectly encapsulates it: 'Avoid the false dopamine hit of telling your goals to others.'
The discipline of acting in silence and resisting the urge to seek external validation is incredibly powerful. It’s true that talking about our plans can sometimes dissipate the energy needed to actualize them. By keeping our goals private and focusing on the work itself, we can harness our inner drive more effectively. This approach not only protects our energy but also adds a layer of mystery and personal satisfaction to our accomplishments. Your experience highlights the importance of introspection and the quiet strength that comes from self-reliance and perseverance.
Ryan hit the nail on the head when he spoke about Green lights, you don't ACTUALLY want everything to go right. Reminded me of Matthew Mcconaughey's book (would be an incredible podcast guest) I resonate so much with that anxiety around control, routine, discipline as those have generally been the factors that have produced the most success for me, in fitness, in business, with mental health. But recently, relaxing in to the moment, dropping the schedule and appreciating small things from time to time has brought me so much peace, and have been the happiest moments of my life.
Balancing control and spontaneity is indeed a nuanced approach to life. While discipline and routine can drive success, allowing ourselves to relax and appreciate the present moment brings a profound sense of peace. This balance between structure and flexibility can lead to a more fulfilling and happy life. Your reflection on this dynamic highlights the importance of adaptability and the joy found in small, unplanned moments. It’s a reminder that while goals and routines are important, so is the ability to embrace life’s unpredictability with gratitude and grace.
Months ago I was being murdered inside my head, I had to fake a laugh and work day in and out, I found stoicism when I was 16 and I just stopped, again I found it from Ryan, Today all my anxiety and problems are not bothering me because it's not in my control. These men are a blessing, I will make another man's day as well. because knowledge is beautiful when shared.
Your story is a powerful testament to the transformative power of stoicism. Finding peace by accepting what is beyond your control is a significant step towards managing anxiety and inner turmoil. The philosophy’s emphasis on focusing on what we can change and letting go of what we can't is liberating. Sharing this knowledge and helping others find the same peace is indeed a beautiful act. Your journey underscores how ancient wisdom can offer practical solutions to modern struggles, making life’s challenges more bearable and meaningful.
I attended the show in Manchester, it was fantastic. I got so much from it, wasn't able to detect an ounce of self-doubt coming across from Chris. He was brilliant, just goes to show even when you're projecting brilliance you can still be susceptible to the negative voices within. A great example that you're own internal dialogue doesn't always reflect reality. Push through.
It’s incredible how confidence and self-doubt can coexist within us. Chris’s example shows that even the most outwardly confident people can struggle internally, yet still project strength and brilliance. This duality is a powerful reminder that our internal dialogue doesn’t always reflect reality. Pushing through self-doubt and continuing to show up is an act of courage that can inspire others. Your experience at the show highlights the importance of perseverance and the impact of projecting positivity and confidence, even amidst personal challenges.
I'm nearing the end of the podcast and was just thinking "Wow, I really like this guy, he doesn't come across as preachy and seems 100% genuine" and then realized he talked about being someone who didn't come across as a person who would screw things up and having a general air of feeling good to be around. And he succeeded.
Your observation about the genuine and non-preachy nature of the speaker is a testament to the power of authenticity. When someone speaks from a place of sincerity and lived experience, it resonates deeply with the audience. This authenticity creates a connection that is both engaging and impactful. Your appreciation for this quality underscores the value of genuine communication and the positive influence it can have on listeners. It’s a reminder that being true to oneself not only enriches our own lives but also those of others who hear our message.
I’m not that religious but I’ve been reading he Bible in the past 6-8 months and this entire conversation was DEEPLY biblical. Everything stated is a biblical ideology, demonstrates that these issues are universal overtime and culture
Chris, you said something about not yet being ready to be a father. Thinking like this is part of the reason why I'm a 66 year old married man without children. You'll never really be ready. Waiting means you will have less time with your children, if you have them.
Your comment captures a common frustration many face in their careers. Showing up every day without recognition can be incredibly disheartening. However, it’s often in these unrecognized moments that we build the most resilience and character. Finding personal satisfaction in the effort and knowing that our contributions matter, even if unnoticed, can provide a sense of fulfillment. It’s a reminder that our worth isn’t solely defined by external validation, but also by our internal sense of purpose and commitment.
So cool to see Ryan on here, I’ve been following him for a while now and visited his bookshop in Bastrop Texas just to get a signed book. Thanks for making this conversation happen!
Wow this is a great conversation! I am really liking this channel so far. 🔥💚🤘🏼 Ive got to remind myself that there are trolls and people who arent really listening outside of their narrative in these comments sections. You know you are doing something right when you have this many annoying haters that continue to listen. If you are experiencing cognitive dissonance because your stoic values dont align with your political ideology, Ryan has no control over that, and you should do some personal reflection on why they are not aligning rather than assuming that you are finding fault in others.
A timely podcast, what with the new book from Ryan but personally reading some of his older work and thinking of re-reading the real good stuff from obstacle is the way etc. Appreciate the energy and conversation here.
@42:30 I recall a story from Robert Kyosaki about becoming a New York Times Best Seller. Not best writer. Not best author. Best SELLER. Nothing wrong with setting a goal based on sales or earnings rather than pursuit of literary fame.
46:22 as a parent of a 17 year old nothing you do is understood as encouragement, no encouragement is received I have told my child that I am proud of him yet it is not believed. Every small criticism is Amplified. I now realize that I did the same thing to my father and see it when I hear stories of others where I know both the child and the parent. Our fictional tales often cast the father in a bad light Yet the role of the father is to prepare their child for the real world, where criticisms will come from many directions The difference in the father is those criticisms Come From Love and I wish to make a resilient kid
So glad you guys picked up and talked about the impact that having a kid will have on you in a retrospective kinda way.... thought about this for years before having one... helps u get back in touch with the kid inside u... the cycle goes on
I have a little theory that's not based on any evidence or anything; it's just something I've been pondering myself. I believe one of the reasons there are so many people with ADHD who are business owners is because merely discussing an idea doesn't provide them with enough dopamine. They really need to undertake something significant to get their dopamine hits, which means taking big risks is the only way to obtain any sort of dopamine from their brain. Essentially, dopamine hits become harder to achieve when you have ADHD, so I imagine they can't just stop at talking about an idea; they actually need to be out there, risking it all, to get the dopamine they desire.
Agreed. I'm a hyperactive person who is a multitasker. I create projects to complete that amaze others. I have two or three jobs at a time because I need to stay busy. Put me at a desk with nothing to do and my mind will take itself apart. A three day vacation makes me unravel. Some are wired to be work horses and if I didn't embrace that about myself, I'd fall into addiction. I wonder if that's why so many of my hyperactive classmates died of overdose. We run at high speed whether its partying or working.
Self belief is not a bad thing. Knowing your abilities and competence based on past achievements and goals attained. Self doubt is crippling. There’s a spectrum of self doubt, knowing yourself, self belief and healthy psychopathy. I’m aware that the “pathy” in psychopathy is meant bad. A well balanced person can be a empath but can switch to psychopathy. Spectrum. The benefits of empathy is that you can connect, contrary, the benefits of psychopathy is not attaching to others problems. Spectrum.
I believe in cause and effect. But don’t if I agree totally with your perspective!? Everyone is very much different. Behavior is so nuanced. Nothing is ever so blatantly black and white.
I really loved the direction that you have taken modern wisdom and what you have done with it. I enjoy all of the episodes that I listen to. Would love to see live you in Winnipeg Canada Chris 😊
The best reason I have heard to be a good person is that life is a series of games and if you don't play in one you may not be invited to play the other games with the the others
1:08 7 years old is literally The Sweet Spot. It is beautiful. It is easy to be idealistic at that age. All of the hardness of parenting is after that. It is arguably harder than the first few years where your sleep deprived. Every boundary will be pushed enjoy seven 11 to 18 Everything Changes
46:14 "It's an incredibly powerful motivator to not feel that way. It's also an incredibly tragic motivator. And, and ultimately a destructive form of fuel. Fuel that destroys the engine. It's a one-way trip. You can't come back from it. You can't adjust. And it ruins all the things you end up achieving" - Holliday "In OTHER News: " Live Momentous is the shit! They pay for this spot! Maybe I use them maybe I don't, wouldn't you like to know. Buy them, try them, if you do maybe I'll tell you all of my secrets. Hahahaha! Talk about a hard transition! :)
Competing with yourself or others all ends in the same void of insignificance, where being successful and its promise of fulfillment is just another lie we tell ourselves in this empty existence.
Having success to me is mainly just about meeting my needs and getting rid of any anxiety i may have about health, relationships, and finances. You dont have to chase rolex watches and lambos. That shit should only be considered if you are insanely passionate about it or its easily within your grasp and wont negatively affect your financial well being.
@@nottomclancy2439 You think it’s for kids, because you can’t seem to comprehend mature acknowledgment of life’s inherent uncertainties and complexities. It’s about understanding the reality we live in.
You lost me at the end of the Churchill part. I guarantee that father’s note was what pushed him to such heights. Chasing his father’s approval until he was large enough he didn’t need to. A parents role is to make sure their children succeed. Not to coddle them.
Wow. First one, he is describing motherhood :D with one single change, there is not just a lack of recognition, but a whole lot of scrutiny along the way!
1:08 is 7 years old is literally The Sweet Spot it is beautiful an easy to be idealistic all of the hardness of parenting is after that very much so harder than the first few years where your sleep deprived every boundary will be pushed enjoy seven
I like to use different pseudonyms for all creative works. If I fail, it doesn't follow me. If I succeed, I can't rely on riding the coattails of that success. Every project is starting from total zero, at least as far as reputation. I think this forces me to be very comfortable in that zone. You can work with a lot more confidence when it's just assumed every time that you're building up from nothing; there is no temptation to lean on past successes because that's not an option. It's also very surreal when someone recommends you a work they found valuable...and it's yours. I never tell them I made it though; I like having all of that totally disentangled from my "real" life.
This guy assumes a lot… I’ve been a runner my whole life and never once has anyone passing me ever given me motivation to run harder or beat them in any way it’s like you’re an alien. Also, i literally never think about myself, I DO need reminders to think selfishly. It’s neither intrinsic nor built in. Theres such a thing as “neurodivergence” and also other people can see differently. Wildly differently sometimes. Some people would lose on purpose because they know how important it is to someone else for example. Just look up the various personality types and read about them. You will be amazed how different they are. 😊❤ That’s my one helpful contribution. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas!!!❤
@1:09:35 you say "If you're millennial...your parents and you come from different universes...and they didn't have the tools to be able to do this stuff (make changes/reduce generational trauma). It ends here, this is the end." I don't really subscribe to the idea that they didn't have tools and somehow we do. I never took therapy til I was 42..so that wasn't a tool I used to make changes. What I did tho was analyze... And problem solve... Practice "we do better when we know better, and constantly strive to do better." Are you telling me that my parents didn't have the ability to look at information/experiences and think.. hmmm.. this could be better/there's something wrong here/why is this experience happing and what other options are there? That's BS. I understand the idea and concept, but I'm ending the generational trauma because I hated it for myself and I choose not to pass it on to my child. If you're telling me that parents and past generations had no ability to do or choose better...I'm calling BS. But in the same breath, I do look at my parents w sympathy and empathy and think... Man, that was pretty sh*tty what they had to experience... It was also sh*tty what I had to experience. So what's the difference? People all the sudden grew a different part of the brain that didn't exist prior? I have empathy, but they don't get a pass... And neither do I. It's a constant effort to improve, grow and do better from past and from present. No one gets excluded from taking on that task. Sorry.. I don't believe that.
Regarding knowing which mountains to climb, I think there's a way of knowing what not to climb. Look to others who climbed the mountain first, do you want what they have? Broken family? No family? Travelling holidays and missing birthdays?If you can identify the poison you can decide if you're willing to pay that price.
This comment section is a shame and makes Ryan all the more credible + most of you are uneducated. Ego is the enemy. The only thing you should be extrapolating from this man is the truth. It's mind-blowing to see this fresh forum get plagued so quickly. Ryan, I'm sorry for ya brother!
Ryan Holiday- "Young people get upset about stuff and they're like let's protest, because the civil rights movement was based on protests." Students aren't protesting just to protest. They are protesting against a genocide which our government is enabling. Does he really not understand that?
@@CouplesDice I gave you his exact quote. That's a fact and you gave me your opinion based on your feelings. Thanks for sharing your feelings. John Adams- “Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.”
lol very unserious comment. There’s no way you read his books or watch his content to come to this conclusion. I’d her perfect? Nope. Do I agree with everything? Absolutely not but to say he’s pretentious is funny
This is a very deep, deep A.I Technology in action, I hope to see chris having conversation with Dr. Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Churchill and other great Leaders of the century
I know why Ryan annoys me now. His perspective is stuck in the mainstream mythos of the people he talks about. He's brilliant and has done great work through spreading stoicism. However, he is still stuck in Plato's cave which holds him and his work back from being even greater. I'm not sure if he keeps the blinders on due to arrogance, convenience, or wealth, but I hope he takes them off eventually.
Look up what he was saying during covid. He had a conversation with him and Robert Greene ( another good author). They both were not acting like what they write about. Love their work but I was disappointed with the actions and thoughta
I’ve never heard this guy before but he’s already lost my interest by 1:32. I’m not at all eager for hearing more of his hypnosis by saying that writers talking to writers is a temptation that means they’re not even writing, and that telling people you’re training for a marathon is stupid, tell them when you’ve done it. Why in the world would hundreds if not hundreds of thousands of people line a marathon track to cheer on the runners if the training and the race itself weren’t important to anyone? Otherwise everyone would say, “Sure. Tell me when you’ve finished it and I’ll believe you, maybe even care. For two seconds.” Whoever hurt this man and made him believe he was nothing other than his accomplishments, exit stage left.
I watched a video where he expressed palpable anger towards vaccine hesitant individuals. I've personally struggled to take him seriously since, I was once a big fan.
In a conversation all about justice with many references made to historical events and examples of resistance against occupation and oppression, it seemed a bit odd that not a single mention was made to a horrific genocide occurring in real time. Not implying they need to take a stand on the issue but to just completely evade the topic is quite revealing of how divorced from reality these conversations tend to be.
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Here’s the timestamps:
00:00 Talking Vs Doing
05:34 Run a Race With Yourself
11:19 Life-Changing Decisions Are Never Simple
20:13 The Value of Going Through Difficulty
29:40 Be Quiet, Work Hard & Stay Healthy
40:00 Be Clear on What Success Is
55:48 Stop Wanting Things to Be Easy
1:03:02 Self-Improvement as a Parent
1:12:07 Is Justice the Most Important Virtue?
1:22:40 Why Gandhi Was Such a Genius
1:32:04 How Marcus Aurelius Kept His Integrity
1:44:34 How to Know If You’re Doing the Right Thing
1:55:20 The Rise of Stoicism Among Young Men
2:05:32 Where to Find Ryan
"Stoicism isn't there to make you a better sociopath" is something more people need to hear. Great episode. Bravo Gentlemen!
Absolutely, understanding that stoicism isn’t about becoming detached or indifferent is crucial. It’s about managing our reactions and emotions to lead a more rational and peaceful life, not about suppressing empathy or becoming cold-hearted. Stoicism encourages us to recognize our interdependence with others and to act with virtue and kindness. The philosophy’s true power lies in its ability to foster resilience and inner strength, while still allowing for compassion and human connection. This episode indeed highlighted the essence of stoicism beautifully.
Hey Chris having a child was something I did kind of late and it fills me with regret. I want more kids but I'm in a wonderful, loving relationship now where we can't have more kids.
I dont think you should put it off. I know you have a list of stuff you want to do, but, that list changes when you have a child, and it makes your prior prioritizations pale in comparison.
Something I didnt think of before I had my child, was how much i want to spend time with her when shes an adult. Just hanging out, talking about life, and helping her out. And since Im a bit older, I'll see less of her in my life than I want now. That keeps me up at night. I'd be a less good and stable parent 10 years ago, but I'd still have been more than good enough as a parent.
So I can only speak for myself, but I think those years you gain with your kid might be worth more than a todo list might be, especially as your wants change when you become a parent. Anyway, just my two cents, you do you.
Agreed. I have one child I had at 22. It came with challenges so I prioritized her. I almost died when she was a toddler. I was never promised any amount of time with her. Now at 32 I want more of this wonderful family. I look forward to grandbabies. I am afraid of the guilt I might have if I don't see grandbabies. My 18 year old self would not understand the transformation I've been through. I am so grateful for my 22 year old self who was fully terrified of pregnancy but followed through, creating a wonderful family. If this is all I get, this has still been a wonderful ride.
Congratulations on your family, too.
@@laurahano2587 Thanks
Your reflections on parenthood are deeply moving. The shift in priorities and the unexpected depth of the desire to share more time with your child are poignant reminders of the profound impact children have on our lives. Balancing personal goals with the immeasurable joy and responsibilities of parenthood can be challenging, but the time spent nurturing those relationships is invaluable. Your insights highlight the importance of considering the long-term emotional connections and shared experiences that come with raising a child. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt perspective.
Great comment!
Abandoning a project before completion because I've already worked it out in my head - definitely guilty of that sometimes. The rewarding part is often the creation of a vision.
This is the majority of my life. I gather all the things and obsess over the process. Once I have everything and understand it…I stop. I rarely do the thing.
It's fascinating how the mind can sometimes trick us into feeling accomplished before we’ve even finished a project. Visualizing the outcome is an essential part of the creative process, but translating that vision into reality is where the true satisfaction lies. It’s a reminder that the journey, with all its challenges and learning experiences, is just as rewarding as the final result. Staying committed to the process, even after the initial excitement fades, is what separates a fleeting idea from a lasting creation.
@@CibitiPro Well said.
Such a great insight, makes sense why I never went through any of my great ideas
I am not the only one!!
What a gift this episode has been. The opportunity to indulge and listening to these two amazing men has been an added learning path in my sacred journey of my own life experiences.
I commend you both for the courage, the confidence of self belief in your share of wisdom and offering the steps of added knowledge for us all.
I am just me a 70-year-old soul living the life of gratefulness for always allowing my heart to be open to learning that only adds to the experiences that my years have already gifted me with.
When the death of my heart and soul, thank you, and please continue on paving the way for Hope energy of life, which is so much needed as we transition through this world in each of our journeys….🦋💕🦋
Your words beautifully capture the essence of lifelong learning and gratitude. Embracing each experience with an open heart and a willingness to learn transforms every moment into a valuable lesson. Your appreciation for the shared wisdom and the hope it brings is truly inspiring. It’s a reminder that wisdom grows with age and that keeping an open heart allows us to continually enrich our lives. Your journey underscores the importance of gratitude and the continuous pursuit of knowledge, no matter where we are in life.
I used to talk a lot about my intentions: "I want to do this", "I should do that". And barely do anything after. This year, I decided to stop talking and act in silence instead. It's hard. There are some projects, as I start working on them I feel the urge to talk about it to someone. I have to resist to this urge if I want to continue. The urge also comes once I take a break or I've done my daily part.
I still felt the need to share my projects to a few people, but only a minority. Some don't know what I am working on and this is great.
I still say sometimes that I am working on something and will reveal it to them when the time is right. But I honestly wish I could just say NOTHING!
I am as well convinced that talking depletes your energy for action. The less you care about people's opinion and aknowledgement, the better you can achieve what you want. And keeping some mystery around yourself makes you more powerful and interesting as a person.
I completely relate to this message. I recently came across a quote that perfectly encapsulates it: 'Avoid the false dopamine hit of telling your goals to others.'
The discipline of acting in silence and resisting the urge to seek external validation is incredibly powerful. It’s true that talking about our plans can sometimes dissipate the energy needed to actualize them. By keeping our goals private and focusing on the work itself, we can harness our inner drive more effectively. This approach not only protects our energy but also adds a layer of mystery and personal satisfaction to our accomplishments. Your experience highlights the importance of introspection and the quiet strength that comes from self-reliance and perseverance.
Ryan hit the nail on the head when he spoke about Green lights, you don't ACTUALLY want everything to go right. Reminded me of Matthew Mcconaughey's book (would be an incredible podcast guest)
I resonate so much with that anxiety around control, routine, discipline as those have generally been the factors that have produced the most success for me, in fitness, in business, with mental health.
But recently, relaxing in to the moment, dropping the schedule and appreciating small things from time to time has brought me so much peace, and have been the happiest moments of my life.
Ryan did a podcast with Matthew :)
Awesome, I'll have to check that out
Fantastic book greenlights. Very readable and fun from start to finish.
Balancing control and spontaneity is indeed a nuanced approach to life. While discipline and routine can drive success, allowing ourselves to relax and appreciate the present moment brings a profound sense of peace. This balance between structure and flexibility can lead to a more fulfilling and happy life. Your reflection on this dynamic highlights the importance of adaptability and the joy found in small, unplanned moments. It’s a reminder that while goals and routines are important, so is the ability to embrace life’s unpredictability with gratitude and grace.
Months ago I was being murdered inside my head,
I had to fake a laugh and work day in and out,
I found stoicism when I was 16 and I just stopped,
again I found it from Ryan,
Today all my anxiety and problems are not bothering me because it's not in my control.
These men are a blessing,
I will make another man's day as well.
because knowledge is beautiful when shared.
Your story is a powerful testament to the transformative power of stoicism. Finding peace by accepting what is beyond your control is a significant step towards managing anxiety and inner turmoil. The philosophy’s emphasis on focusing on what we can change and letting go of what we can't is liberating. Sharing this knowledge and helping others find the same peace is indeed a beautiful act. Your journey underscores how ancient wisdom can offer practical solutions to modern struggles, making life’s challenges more bearable and meaningful.
"murdered inside my head" & "when I was 16" 👶
Ryan's books have been incredibly helpful & entertaining in my recent life.
Cheers mate, your work has done alot for me
I attended the show in Manchester, it was fantastic. I got so much from it, wasn't able to detect an ounce of self-doubt coming across from Chris. He was brilliant, just goes to show even when you're projecting brilliance you can still be susceptible to the negative voices within. A great example that you're own internal dialogue doesn't always reflect reality. Push through.
Definitely agree with this. I really struggle with this being diagnosed with depression and being anxious
@@arshaddahlan I hear you mate, same here as well. Got to tame the black dog.
It’s incredible how confidence and self-doubt can coexist within us. Chris’s example shows that even the most outwardly confident people can struggle internally, yet still project strength and brilliance. This duality is a powerful reminder that our internal dialogue doesn’t always reflect reality. Pushing through self-doubt and continuing to show up is an act of courage that can inspire others. Your experience at the show highlights the importance of perseverance and the impact of projecting positivity and confidence, even amidst personal challenges.
This is the dream episode. Can't wait for Ryan's new book. Thanks, Chris!
Great stuff! Haven’t listened to Ryan in a while, and I really appreciate this, Chris
nice to hear Ryan hasn't got it all sorted and is working on things and doing therapy, that is so good to hear, he's not superhuman afterall
I'm nearing the end of the podcast and was just thinking "Wow, I really like this guy, he doesn't come across as preachy and seems 100% genuine" and then realized he talked about being someone who didn't come across as a person who would screw things up and having a general air of feeling good to be around. And he succeeded.
Your observation about the genuine and non-preachy nature of the speaker is a testament to the power of authenticity. When someone speaks from a place of sincerity and lived experience, it resonates deeply with the audience. This authenticity creates a connection that is both engaging and impactful. Your appreciation for this quality underscores the value of genuine communication and the positive influence it can have on listeners. It’s a reminder that being true to oneself not only enriches our own lives but also those of others who hear our message.
Best interview to me, really appreciate it. learnt a lot about myself listening to Ryan H.
I really love how Ryan explores below the line virtues in this converstion
56minutes. Life just came together. Thank you.. infinitely
He feels like the wisest guest I've seen on your show so far
I’m not that religious but I’ve been reading he Bible in the past 6-8 months and this entire conversation was DEEPLY biblical. Everything stated is a biblical ideology, demonstrates that these issues are universal overtime and culture
I was thinking the same thing. Morality doesn’t exist without God, otherwise it’s just your opinion vs mine.
Chris, you said something about not yet being ready to be a father. Thinking like this is part of the reason why I'm a 66 year old married man without children. You'll never really be ready. Waiting means you will have less time with your children, if you have them.
Ryan has introduced me to stoicism and I will be forever 🙏
Also Ryan, if you read these comments, please try to make your audio at this quality more often. It makes everything so much easier to listen to. 💚🤘🏼
"show up every single day and not get any recognition or appreciation for a thing" bro attacking my whole career experience.
Your comment captures a common frustration many face in their careers. Showing up every day without recognition can be incredibly disheartening. However, it’s often in these unrecognized moments that we build the most resilience and character. Finding personal satisfaction in the effort and knowing that our contributions matter, even if unnoticed, can provide a sense of fulfillment. It’s a reminder that our worth isn’t solely defined by external validation, but also by our internal sense of purpose and commitment.
@@CibitiPro yes so this is all fine but at the moment i struggle financially because of this so what to do now
So cool to see Ryan on here, I’ve been following him for a while now and visited his bookshop in Bastrop Texas just to get a signed book. Thanks for making this conversation happen!
“Hidden verses observable metrics” - love that phrasing.
This dude is great. He's a student of his craft, not an arrogant pontificator.
🌊Thank you both🌊
Never heard any of u dudes b4. Made my day better, thanx
What a great conversation :)
Guys, thank you a lot for your podcasts! You really help me to develop my English skills. So many interesting topics...
Wow this is a great conversation! I am really liking this channel so far. 🔥💚🤘🏼 Ive got to remind myself that there are trolls and people who arent really listening outside of their narrative in these comments sections. You know you are doing something right when you have this many annoying haters that continue to listen. If you are experiencing cognitive dissonance because your stoic values dont align with your political ideology, Ryan has no control over that, and you should do some personal reflection on why they are not aligning rather than assuming that you are finding fault in others.
0:33 taking an idea or project on credit is a perfect way of thinking about talking about unfinished work.
Thanks
The part on parenting really hit me like a ton of bricks. Exactly what I'm going through now as a father of 2.
A timely podcast, what with the new book from Ryan but personally reading some of his older work and thinking of re-reading the real good stuff from obstacle is the way etc. Appreciate the energy and conversation here.
Loved this episode !
@42:30 I recall a story from Robert Kyosaki about becoming a New York Times Best Seller. Not best writer. Not best author. Best SELLER. Nothing wrong with setting a goal based on sales or earnings rather than pursuit of literary fame.
That quote on loneliness as a tax is God tier.
46:22 as a parent of a 17 year old nothing you do is understood as encouragement, no encouragement is received
I have told my child that I am proud of him yet it is not believed. Every small criticism is Amplified. I now realize that I did the same thing to my father and see it when I hear stories of others where I know both the child and the parent. Our fictional tales often cast the father in a bad light
Yet the role of the father is to prepare their child for the real world, where criticisms will come from many directions
The difference in the father is those criticisms Come From Love and I wish to make a resilient kid
So glad you guys picked up and talked about the impact that having a kid will have on you in a retrospective kinda way.... thought about this for years before having one... helps u get back in touch with the kid inside u... the cycle goes on
I have a little theory that's not based on any evidence or anything; it's just something I've been pondering myself. I believe one of the reasons there are so many people with ADHD who are business owners is because merely discussing an idea doesn't provide them with enough dopamine. They really need to undertake something significant to get their dopamine hits, which means taking big risks is the only way to obtain any sort of dopamine from their brain. Essentially, dopamine hits become harder to achieve when you have ADHD, so I imagine they can't just stop at talking about an idea; they actually need to be out there, risking it all, to get the dopamine they desire.
Agreed. I'm a hyperactive person who is a multitasker. I create projects to complete that amaze others. I have two or three jobs at a time because I need to stay busy. Put me at a desk with nothing to do and my mind will take itself apart. A three day vacation makes me unravel. Some are wired to be work horses and if I didn't embrace that about myself, I'd fall into addiction. I wonder if that's why so many of my hyperactive classmates died of overdose. We run at high speed whether its partying or working.
Self belief is not a bad thing. Knowing your abilities and competence based on past achievements and goals attained. Self doubt is crippling. There’s a spectrum of self doubt, knowing yourself, self belief and healthy psychopathy. I’m aware that the “pathy” in psychopathy is meant bad. A well balanced person can be a empath but can switch to psychopathy. Spectrum. The benefits of empathy is that you can connect, contrary, the benefits of psychopathy is not attaching to others problems.
Spectrum.
Wayne Gretsky- good and great! Fun new list for you to make , Chris! Interview question name one person who is good and great.
Tall poppy syndrome is alive and well in Australia too.
I believe in cause and effect.
But don’t if I agree totally with your perspective!?
Everyone is very much different. Behavior is so nuanced. Nothing is ever so blatantly black and white.
"I can handle anything because I've handled everything up until this point" 🤯 Ryan Holiday
I really loved the direction that you have taken modern wisdom and what you have done with it. I enjoy all of the episodes that I listen to. Would love to see live you in Winnipeg Canada Chris 😊
"It is not events that disturb people, it is their judgments concerning them." - Marcus Aurelius ❤❤
On living up to your parents' expectations: 'The best day of my life was the day you were born'....and it was all downhill from there....?
The best reason I have heard to be a good person is that life is a series of games and if you don't play in one you may not be invited to play the other games with the the others
Love this man and his wisdom
1:08 7 years old is literally The Sweet Spot. It is beautiful. It is easy to be idealistic at that age. All of the hardness of parenting is after that. It is arguably harder than the first few years where your sleep deprived. Every boundary will be pushed enjoy seven
11 to 18 Everything Changes
Ryan is a legend. Gg, wp.
Stoicism 🤜🏻🤛🏻😇
Love this guy.
39:14 It seems that Chris is talking about Hamza Ahmed
46:14 "It's an incredibly powerful motivator to not feel that way. It's also an incredibly tragic motivator. And, and ultimately a destructive form of fuel. Fuel that destroys the engine. It's a one-way trip. You can't come back from it. You can't adjust. And it ruins all the things you end up achieving" - Holliday
"In OTHER News: " Live Momentous is the shit! They pay for this spot! Maybe I use them maybe I don't, wouldn't you like to know. Buy them, try them, if you do maybe I'll tell you all of my secrets.
Hahahaha! Talk about a hard transition! :)
Competing with yourself or others all ends in the same void of insignificance, where being successful and its promise of fulfillment is just another lie we tell ourselves in this empty existence.
Having success to me is mainly just about meeting my needs and getting rid of any anxiety i may have about health, relationships, and finances. You dont have to chase rolex watches and lambos. That shit should only be considered if you are insanely passionate about it or its easily within your grasp and wont negatively affect your financial well being.
Username checks out 😆
Get over your Nihilism. It's for kids.
@@nottomclancy2439 You think it’s for kids, because you can’t seem to comprehend mature acknowledgment of life’s inherent uncertainties and complexities. It’s about understanding the reality we live in.
@@saughs even usernames reflect the absurdity of existence.
What Churchill book is Ryan referencing in this in this interview ? About him talking to his son ?
Using a scale of Fk yes or Fk no is like basing emotions on a scale of fear vs love: like in Donnie Darko. There is SO much more than that.
I was just thinking he looks a bit like Jake.
You lost me at the end of the Churchill part.
I guarantee that father’s note was what pushed him to such heights. Chasing his father’s approval until he was large enough he didn’t need to.
A parents role is to make sure their children succeed. Not to coddle them.
Being an absent parent is hateful and loving your child is not coddling.
54:00 Messi is absolutely that way
Food for Thought -- You are what you eat & You are dyed the color of your thoughts.... Be aware of Both.
Can anyone tell me at what point in this episode Ryan talks about the "important-o-meter"?
I have the same socks that Chris is wearing...
Wow. First one, he is describing motherhood :D with one single change, there is not just a lack of recognition, but a whole lot of scrutiny along the way!
1:08 is 7 years old is literally The Sweet Spot it is beautiful an easy to be idealistic all of the hardness of parenting is after that very much so harder than the first few years where your sleep deprived every boundary will be pushed enjoy seven
Chris has collected some quotes??? 😮Never in the world!
I like to use different pseudonyms for all creative works. If I fail, it doesn't follow me. If I succeed, I can't rely on riding the coattails of that success.
Every project is starting from total zero, at least as far as reputation.
I think this forces me to be very comfortable in that zone. You can work with a lot more confidence when it's just assumed every time that you're building up from nothing; there is no temptation to lean on past successes because that's not an option.
It's also very surreal when someone recommends you a work they found valuable...and it's yours. I never tell them I made it though; I like having all of that totally disentangled from my "real" life.
I felt like the starting two lessons were about me😂
Also - Chris nice shoes for this conversation. on point.
This guy assumes a lot… I’ve been a runner my whole life and never once has anyone passing me ever given me motivation to run harder or beat them in any way it’s like you’re an alien. Also, i literally never think about myself, I DO need reminders to think selfishly. It’s neither intrinsic nor built in. Theres such a thing as “neurodivergence” and also other people can see differently. Wildly differently sometimes. Some people would lose on purpose because they know how important it is to someone else for example. Just look up the various personality types and read about them. You will be amazed how different they are. 😊❤
That’s my one helpful contribution. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas!!!❤
The statement that i need to think selfishly is a selfish statement
@@KingHill0005 your singular interpretation is selfish 😂🤷♀️
@@spiralsun1 I am selfish I agree
@36:22 nooo way I didn’t know any drummer could be any less narcissistic than any…thing? ❤jk I love drummers
@1:09:35 you say "If you're millennial...your parents and you come from different universes...and they didn't have the tools to be able to do this stuff (make changes/reduce generational trauma). It ends here, this is the end."
I don't really subscribe to the idea that they didn't have tools and somehow we do. I never took therapy til I was 42..so that wasn't a tool I used to make changes.
What I did tho was analyze... And problem solve... Practice "we do better when we know better, and constantly strive to do better."
Are you telling me that my parents didn't have the ability to look at information/experiences and think.. hmmm.. this could be better/there's something wrong here/why is this experience happing and what other options are there?
That's BS. I understand the idea and concept, but I'm ending the generational trauma because I hated it for myself and I choose not to pass it on to my child.
If you're telling me that parents and past generations had no ability to do or choose better...I'm calling BS.
But in the same breath, I do look at my parents w sympathy and empathy and think... Man, that was pretty sh*tty what they had to experience... It was also sh*tty what I had to experience.
So what's the difference? People all the sudden grew a different part of the brain that didn't exist prior?
I have empathy, but they don't get a pass... And neither do I. It's a constant effort to improve, grow and do better from past and from present.
No one gets excluded from taking on that task. Sorry.. I don't believe that.
Regarding knowing which mountains to climb, I think there's a way of knowing what not to climb. Look to others who climbed the mountain first, do you want what they have? Broken family? No family? Travelling holidays and missing birthdays?If you can identify the poison you can decide if you're willing to pay that price.
Got to love everybody, we are all in this game together for time being, we’re all gonna die one day❤
Love everybody?
This comment section is a shame and makes Ryan all the more credible + most of you are uneducated.
Ego is the enemy.
The only thing you should be extrapolating from this man is the truth.
It's mind-blowing to see this fresh forum get plagued so quickly.
Ryan, I'm sorry for ya brother!
❤❤❤
40:02 I love your channel and your audience, I'm gonna comment on ALL your videos for years until I reach your level of subscribers.
Wait did he just bashed on Huaberman? 🤔
Ryan Holiday- "Young people get upset about stuff and they're like let's protest, because the civil rights movement was based on protests." Students aren't protesting just to protest. They are protesting against a genocide which our government is enabling. Does he really not understand that?
You missed the point entirely. Go back and listen again, but leave your bias behind this time.
@@lucasstarbuck6797 I gave you his exact quote. You gave me your opinion based on your feelings.
@@IcarianbrotherYou missed the point buddy
@@CouplesDice I gave you his exact quote. That's a fact and you gave me your opinion based on your feelings. Thanks for sharing your feelings. John Adams- “Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.”
The lightsabers are pretty cool.
Disagree with his marathon apology at the start. Training for a marathon is much harder than doing one.
Ryan could consider not saying “look” or “right” so it’s less of a pontificating feel.
„Right“ is just a British thing
38:00 explains Edward Bernays attitude towards humans.
Google Ryan Holiday early life
and?
Jewish?
Truman didn’t need to drop all those nukes… He wanted to
Stoic concepts from anyone but Ryan please. His pretentious attitude is unappealing.
lol very unserious comment. There’s no way you read his books or watch his content to come to this conclusion. I’d her perfect? Nope. Do I agree with everything? Absolutely not but to say he’s pretentious is funny
@@malcombowser4335 He is just a bit. I had to unsub after a while. But he's far from bad and I still would listen to him. He's a tad pretentious.
Leave the mid podcast advertising if you want to be one of the top podcasts
57:32
39:12 - Doesn't it sound like the guy told lies just to get views and money and had to stop before his reputation got ruined? Idk I find this blurry.
Feel like he is talking about Hamza
This is a very deep, deep A.I Technology in action, I hope to see chris having conversation with Dr. Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Churchill and other great Leaders of the century
“Lions” lol
Make Earnestness Great Again... Thanks, Gents!
Ooh mehn- I really thought getting a tummy tuck will right all the wrongs in my life!!! Y'all bust my bubble!!!!
I know why Ryan annoys me now. His perspective is stuck in the mainstream mythos of the people he talks about. He's brilliant and has done great work through spreading stoicism. However, he is still stuck in Plato's cave which holds him and his work back from being even greater. I'm not sure if he keeps the blinders on due to arrogance, convenience, or wealth, but I hope he takes them off eventually.
Covid exposed that when fear comes he is not stoic
He was not stoic during covid.
Look up what he was saying during covid. He had a conversation with him and Robert Greene ( another good author). They both were not acting like what they write about. Love their work but I was disappointed with the actions and thoughta
I’ve never heard this guy before but he’s already lost my interest by 1:32. I’m not at all eager for hearing more of his hypnosis by saying that writers talking to writers is a temptation that means they’re not even writing, and that telling people you’re training for a marathon is stupid, tell them when you’ve done it.
Why in the world would hundreds if not hundreds of thousands of people line a marathon track to cheer on the runners if the training and the race itself weren’t important to anyone? Otherwise everyone would say, “Sure. Tell me when you’ve finished it and I’ll believe you, maybe even care. For two seconds.”
Whoever hurt this man and made him believe he was nothing other than his accomplishments, exit stage left.
I watched a video where he expressed palpable anger towards vaccine hesitant individuals. I've personally struggled to take him seriously since, I was once a big fan.
Chris looking JACKED in tube socks and a t shirt
In a conversation all about justice with many references made to historical events and examples of resistance against occupation and oppression, it seemed a bit odd that not a single mention was made to a horrific genocide occurring in real time.
Not implying they need to take a stand on the issue but to just completely evade the topic is quite revealing of how divorced from reality these conversations tend to be.
Jimmy Carr is "charming"? (*scratches head*)
I was enjoying this until the anglophobia.