I used to get angry when someone would 'willfully' be stupid or in denial (incorrect use of their brain, then incorrect use of mine). I finally found psychological freedom after realizing "Let them stay stupid. People deserve themselves"
Thank you Scott, and Professor. I wrote the three triggers you mentioned down on sticky notes and posted them in strategic places in my home. I'm most affected by poor treatment, and by goals being blocked, to which I added the word "thwarting". I witnessed domestic violence throughout my childhood, made more confusing because my parents were both wounded people who truly loved each other, but struggled with anger at a deep level. Mother due to tragic losses in childhood, and father as a victim of physical abuse and menace at the hand of my grandfather. Anger affects me similarly to the way Scott described it: it burns. And burns.
Terrific conversation. Women get judged a lot differently than men for expressing anger in certain environments/situations. Really fascinating thoughts here from you both! Much appreciated!
I think much of the negative actions of anger these days is anger at 'perceived' injustice rather than actual injustice. I consider the anger generated towards being 'woke' , DEI, DIVERSITY, EQUALITY etc. as perceived threats when they are NOT. Anger at excluding, disadvantaging, harming another due to their religion, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, race etc. is VALID because it is OBJECTIVELY real injustice.
If you are a member of a privileged class in your society, then most efforts towards increasing equality really are threats. Instead of accepting the selfishness of wanting to hold onto their privilege, they will latch onto false narratives, but that doesn't make the threat to their lifestyle and comfort any less real.
@@kyleolson9636 Yes, I agree when it comes to the 'privileged class. They want to feel better than others and equality kind of ruins that. But, I speak of those who are not privileged and are lacking they have been brainwashed to feel threatened by equality, diversity and fair justice.
Equality to the privileged looks like oppression. It's not pie equality for me doesn't mean less for you. Gay marriage didn't negate heterosexual marriage.
Being born in 99' with the raise of awareness around this, seemingly for the first time in history. I relate to every word that was spoken here. The solutions, tips and insights were pretty much 100%. I tend to be more feminine as a male so I personally (to the question at 28:00) answered, "Plan blocking" and "seeing injustice". They are equally weighted for me, I think that has to do something with how the media and overall social landscape is being framed to make people more angry and entitled. I feel angry most of the time nowadays because I have seen this sentiment increase every year in my life since I can remember (mostly starting around 2011-2012). People who are supposed to mentor you and guide you through life become complete hypocrites and join in on this facade of moral virtue rather than actually trying to think deeply about these things and make solutions. Seems like they juiced what they could, and now want to leave the mess for the coming and current generation to clean up this mess politically and economically.
This was really interesting. Regarding being calm and collected around your kids: maybe this will work with some kids, but many kids will step on parents who act this way. There are many kids that exist that if spoken to calmly will never listen to you. It’s not always what you want to show but also what works. What works may not be what you would necessarily want to display. With that said its best to stay calm up to certain points.
I appreciate this. But, having found out this week that I have no career or income thanks to Trump pausing all grants and grant reviews, I am beside myself in channeling my anger. I've worked in grants since 2001 and as a federal reviewer since 2005. I am a consultant and partially disabled. All of my grant application projects came to a screeching halt late Thursday, and the federal review I was to work on was canceled. The corporate and private foundation applications were put on hold due to federal uncertainty. When I told my elderly Fox News-addicted MAGA parents about this, they told me Trump had to do this to stop the corruption. Zero empathy for me. I told them they were indoctrinated and I hung up on them. At least I have a handmade jewelry biz and some book royalties for $300/month. I think I'll channel my anger into moving to another country.
@ No, I won't quit. I will keep posting stuff on my Facebook. I want to start streaming but I haven't had time. Now I do since I don't have grant work!
Was reading a brilliant book by Catherine Ponder where she shared a maxim from a man who said when people are mean to him he shoots them in the back. With love!
The cut from the intro touches on the most pervasive and insidious workplace dynamic/tactic that keeps non-WM outperformers from advancing beyond the dirty-work level while keeping mediocre to underperforming but politically advantaged WM leaders on top. Perception of- vs real injustice to non-WM never gets deliberated in time to prevent WM's weaponization of narrative/optics. First time seeing it discussed in the open on a public forum by two WM, which is great, but don't see it changing in the next two generations at least.
WM sees non-WM outperforming and not letting WM steal credit, WM knows he cannot compete on equal footing so baits non-WM into triggering situation with unjust individualized act or words being careful not to violate law. Non-WM takes offense and reacts as WM has been witnessed to react to similar injustice. WM destroys NWMs reputation labeling as toxic/victim. I'm not saying all WM are nefarious vs NWM. They are just playing different games with different rules. NWM needs to take extra precaution that WM doesn't bc only WM is allowed to express anger.
i don't seem to get angry at all; well, not since my mum died. it is said that people who don't actually feel anger become depressed ie anger exists and if it doesn't go outwards it goes inwards. any thoughts?
I think if you don’t get angry because you employ empathy, then you’ll be happier. But if you do get angry and hold it down, then it can lead to a lower mood, although probably still a better mood than if you were to release your anger. However, if holding in anger, it’s still important to deter further mistreatments and such against us via conversation if it becomes a repeated thing.
Interesting perspectives. You also know - as you come down - you reacted in a way you have been educated to feel you shouldn't and thus feel some "shame" for lack of a more accurate term. This comes with guilt and sadness or a feeling that aligns with depression. Not to minimize or deny depression, of course this may well be part an individual's make-up. My teen son has a lot more expressed anger than my daughter but if I keenly focus on my history I'd say it's no different than I was at that age but our systems present it differently now we are so compartmentalized into our own digital realities with perceived chasms between them. What really happened? What can I do different next time? How can I ask him(anyone) to be aware of what they are doing and how others perceive it? The pandemic created significant social arrested development so as we move forward into more connected social activity I do believe that socialization will indeed help. I don't want people to accept anger coming at them but I would love to see less immediate need to cancel. When I see a 16-21 year old I take their behavior with a grain of salt knowing they missed out on a few years of intense social development and encourage them to consider the follow-on effects of their actions. Push for growth but with empathy.
The world famous Dunedin Longitudinal Study found that violent women are attracted to violent men, which was very controversial when reported, but then independent studies done by others confirmed it.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
"When I get angry my blood turns to acid."
I felt that.
I second this. I can relate to Scott's whole experience. Great conversation.
I used to get angry when someone would 'willfully' be stupid or in denial (incorrect use of their brain, then incorrect use of mine). I finally found psychological freedom after realizing "Let them stay stupid. People deserve themselves"
Sometimes it do be like that
These are the best things Prof G does nowadays.
Thank you Scott, and Professor. I wrote the three triggers you mentioned down on sticky notes and posted them in strategic places in my home. I'm most affected by poor treatment, and by goals being blocked, to which I added the word "thwarting".
I witnessed domestic violence throughout my childhood, made more confusing because my parents were both wounded people who truly loved each other, but struggled with anger at a deep level. Mother due to tragic losses in childhood, and father as a victim of physical abuse and menace at the hand of my grandfather.
Anger affects me similarly to the way Scott described it: it burns. And burns.
Terrific conversation. Women get judged a lot differently than men for expressing anger in certain environments/situations. Really fascinating thoughts here from you both! Much appreciated!
I think much of the negative actions of anger these days is anger at 'perceived' injustice rather than actual injustice.
I consider the anger generated towards being 'woke' , DEI, DIVERSITY, EQUALITY etc. as perceived threats when they are NOT. Anger at excluding, disadvantaging, harming another due to their religion, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, race etc. is VALID because it is OBJECTIVELY real injustice.
If you are a member of a privileged class in your society, then most efforts towards increasing equality really are threats. Instead of accepting the selfishness of wanting to hold onto their privilege, they will latch onto false narratives, but that doesn't make the threat to their lifestyle and comfort any less real.
@@kyleolson9636 Yes, I agree when it comes to the 'privileged class. They want to feel better than others and equality kind of ruins that. But, I speak of those who are not privileged and are lacking they have been brainwashed to feel threatened by equality, diversity and fair justice.
Equality to the privileged looks like oppression. It's not pie equality for me doesn't mean less for you. Gay marriage didn't negate heterosexual marriage.
Being born in 99' with the raise of awareness around this, seemingly for the first time in history. I relate to every word that was spoken here. The solutions, tips and insights were pretty much 100%. I tend to be more feminine as a male so I personally (to the question at 28:00) answered, "Plan blocking" and "seeing injustice". They are equally weighted for me, I think that has to do something with how the media and overall social landscape is being framed to make people more angry and entitled.
I feel angry most of the time nowadays because I have seen this sentiment increase every year in my life since I can remember (mostly starting around 2011-2012). People who are supposed to mentor you and guide you through life become complete hypocrites and join in on this facade of moral virtue rather than actually trying to think deeply about these things and make solutions.
Seems like they juiced what they could, and now want to leave the mess for the coming and current generation to clean up this mess politically and economically.
This was really interesting. Regarding being calm and collected around your kids: maybe this will work with some kids, but many kids will step on parents who act this way. There are many kids that exist that if spoken to calmly will never listen to you. It’s not always what you want to show but also what works. What works may not be what you would necessarily want to display. With that said its best to stay calm up to certain points.
Anger is often a sign someone is scared and they do not feel they have control over the situation that is upsetting them.
Kids get angry easily when they don’t get what they want.
Kids are also very forgiving. No kid will hold their grudge for FOUR years !
Our rage is farmed and focused.
The anger of asymmetrical power and helplessness is brutal to my system.
Socialising with others also means you have lots of stuff to focus on, distractions, rather than just getting caught up in your one issue.
I appreciate this. But, having found out this week that I have no career or income thanks to Trump pausing all grants and grant reviews, I am beside myself in channeling my anger. I've worked in grants since 2001 and as a federal reviewer since 2005. I am a consultant and partially disabled. All of my grant application projects came to a screeching halt late Thursday, and the federal review I was to work on was canceled. The corporate and private foundation applications were put on hold due to federal uncertainty. When I told my elderly Fox News-addicted MAGA parents about this, they told me Trump had to do this to stop the corruption. Zero empathy for me. I told them they were indoctrinated and I hung up on them. At least I have a handmade jewelry biz and some book royalties for $300/month. I think I'll channel my anger into moving to another country.
hope things improve. you obviously have clear thinking on your side
To leave is to quit. You really want to be a quitter?
@ No, I won't quit. I will keep posting stuff on my Facebook. I want to start streaming but I haven't had time. Now I do since I don't have grant work!
Continually presenting relevant, thoughtful, and useful content. Thanks to both of you, you made my day better.
there’s no excuse for being angry because you can use that energy for good and to be kind. Look it up : survival of the kindest : look it up.
use your higher brain, as a human being you have a choice, anger returns to its sender, give kindness instead
that’s right❤
Was reading a brilliant book by Catherine Ponder where she shared a maxim from a man who said when people are mean to him he shoots them in the back. With love!
I feel like this is the guy they would make you speak with after giving someone a piece if your mind
The cut from the intro touches on the most pervasive and insidious workplace dynamic/tactic that keeps non-WM outperformers from advancing beyond the dirty-work level while keeping mediocre to underperforming but politically advantaged WM leaders on top. Perception of- vs real injustice to non-WM never gets deliberated in time to prevent WM's weaponization of narrative/optics. First time seeing it discussed in the open on a public forum by two WM, which is great, but don't see it changing in the next two generations at least.
My take on your comments, you sound like you’re a victim of taking a victimized, self-sabotaging, outlook. Reverse discrimination?
WM sees non-WM outperforming and not letting WM steal credit, WM knows he cannot compete on equal footing so baits non-WM into triggering situation with unjust individualized act or words being careful not to violate law. Non-WM takes offense and reacts as WM has been witnessed to react to similar injustice. WM destroys NWMs reputation labeling as toxic/victim.
I'm not saying all WM are nefarious vs NWM. They are just playing different games with different rules. NWM needs to take extra precaution that WM doesn't bc only WM is allowed to express anger.
lots of crypto spam on the comments. beware
It’s so stupid.
interesting internal emotional growth, good job
i don't seem to get angry at all; well, not since my mum died. it is said that people who don't actually feel anger become depressed ie anger exists and if it doesn't go outwards it goes inwards. any thoughts?
I think if you don’t get angry because you employ empathy, then you’ll be happier. But if you do get angry and hold it down, then it can lead to a lower mood, although probably still a better mood than if you were to release your anger. However, if holding in anger, it’s still important to deter further mistreatments and such against us via conversation if it becomes a repeated thing.
Interesting perspectives.
You also know - as you come down - you reacted in a way you have been educated to feel you shouldn't and thus feel some "shame" for lack of a more accurate term. This comes with guilt and sadness or a feeling that aligns with depression. Not to minimize or deny depression, of course this may well be part an individual's make-up. My teen son has a lot more expressed anger than my daughter but if I keenly focus on my history I'd say it's no different than I was at that age but our systems present it differently now we are so compartmentalized into our own digital realities with perceived chasms between them. What really happened? What can I do different next time? How can I ask him(anyone) to be aware of what they are doing and how others perceive it? The pandemic created significant social arrested development so as we move forward into more connected social activity I do believe that socialization will indeed help. I don't want people to accept anger coming at them but I would love to see less immediate need to cancel.
When I see a 16-21 year old I take their behavior with a grain of salt knowing they missed out on a few years of intense social development and encourage them to consider the follow-on effects of their actions. Push for growth but with empathy.
The world famous Dunedin Longitudinal Study found that violent women are attracted to violent men, which was very controversial when reported, but then independent studies done by others confirmed it.
I'm angry that Trump won. But I know it's the best thing for our country. So I'll have to drink that anger away.
That will make you angrier.
Please invite Gurudev Sri Sri to talk about happiness! He is an incredible guy to talk to 😎
The science of pathologist male and white anger.
Interesting to watch your therapy on YT
Waiting for the angry white men in the comments but they disappoint today!! Makes a change. 👌