Episode 43: The Father Wound
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- Опубліковано 30 лип 2024
- The father wound runs deep. Today (father’s day) we’re having an open vulnerable conversation about what it is and how we can heal from it.
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Yes! You delivered, thank you. Haven't had contact with my biological father in about 20 years, couldn't tell you if he is even still alive. Always tough this time of year seeing people with strong father relationships knowing I never had that and that masculinity influence. My father had an intense time controlling his emotions often resulting in abuse of diffeent forms against my mother and I. We both never felt safe and I learned improper techniques of how to handle my own emotions. I refuse to let what I observed through childhood control me and haunt me and to keep the cycle going. So proud of myself and everyone else who has put in work to change to end these patterns and be more self-aware than those before us. We out here ending Generational Trauma ya'll! Thank you for all your work and messaging. Truly
Full body chills reading your words, Jon. "I refuse to let what I observed through childhood control me and haunt me and to keep the cycle going." Amen. Thank you for taking a moment to share your voice and experience here, and to CELEBRATE yourself (and others) who are doing the work to end these patterns and become more self-aware than those who were here before us. Your voice gives such hope and inspiration to so many-ourselves included. THANK YOU for being and for choosing to be here in this work and conversation. So much love to you.
Omg I still do the longing and chasing in my romantic relationships. Always seeking out emotional unavailable men that I romanticize and try to conquer. I know am aware of it but it’s just the beginning of the healing journey
This video was a gift from the universe!
I’m in this phase of my life where I am ready to heal this part of me that hurt me the most! A part the I neglected willingly to avoid the pain!
Years of being a rescuer person that destroyed me in every way and didn’t notice the huge impact on my life till now!
Coming from a military background Father wasn’t available for me so I recalled that feeling of abandonment with ever human I met thinking this is the right behavior!
Writing now I feel very proud of the level of consciousness that i have. I’m grateful for the person that i come
This came up at a very pertinent time in my healing trauma. My father was an alcoholic and abusive. When you talked about romanticism if the absent father. Spot on!! my father was in the home but was also my abuser. I absolutely loved this video. Being safe in the world and in the body is also another one I resonate with along with having a engrained fear from growing up due to the abuse myself and my mother endured from him while under the influence. I realised I was never ever safe even though my father worked two jobs and we had a house and food but it was almost like walking on egg shells.
i have been avoiding the mother wound and father wound episode because just like you jenna it felt like a betrayal to acknowledge where they may have fell short unintentionally, and I find myself needing this so much especially now because my inner child is still so very wounded.
I just found you yesterday and I been binge listening to you
When I listen to you… specially to Shana … I feel like she’s telling my own story even the death of the brother
Thank you guys for this amazing podcast ❤️
Chills when you mentioned the memory of laying in bed as a child and thinking you would be attacked if you moved. I haven’t felt like that since childhood but I never ever connected that with my father wound. Thanks for sharing this 🙏🏼
It's really upsetting that this video with so many important and deep insights, and so many views, have very few likes. This is such an important subject, and it's so helpful and healing, I wish all people who benefits from your content would understand the importance of interacting and supporting the channel with their likes.
Thank you for helping us navigate our pain and emotions and learn from your journey. This world needs so much of this kind of work, I hope we all come to this awareness soon!
I love the raw honesty of this. It really is so refreshing. We almost always have this illusion of leaders in the healers circle of being perfect beings, perfectly healed with no issues and that's simply not the case. Thank you both for being so REAL. I'll be sure to tune into this podcast more often even if it makes me uncomfortable! - the discomfort is resonance. You speak relatable truth.
I really don’t know where I would be without having both of you, Nicole and Jenna in my journey ❤️. I’m so thankful and grateful for the content you make available to assist me on this beautiful adventure of meeting my true authentic self.
Your videos have been the biggest help of my life. I am beyond grateful for the insights you both share. I resonate so much w the both of you. You two have made me feel less alone and well less crazy! Thank you both so much. I feel sooo much when I listen. (I always have)
But I can’t help but feel so unbelievably grateful as these tears fall out of me. Because like I said, I don’t feel alone in my trauma. I hold love, appreciate, and understanding… for both of you and now slowly for myself. ✨🙏🏼🌞
What a great episode! Needed this today. Thank you so much, ladies!
this episode is so informative, i felt exactly as you guys, my dad always frightened us of the unknown and now that i listen to you i am realizing the fear that i have and the suspicious that i have of other people taking advantage of me and other emotional problems stem from that time when we were frightened by my father of things and people!! he kept us from growing and experiencing our own life and mistakes and successes!!
Celebrating your awareness and reflections, Mary! Thank you so much for listening, leaning in and looking with curiosity. So grateful for your presence and your sharing here.
That really hit a spot for me… your work is helping me to see more clearly and understand myself and my actions much better
Thank you so much for sharing Emilia, and for being curious and willing in your own healing. So grateful you are here in this conversation!
Thank you! Thank you for being such an integral part of my healing journey!
Sladjana thank you so much (always!) for being here and engaging! We are so grateful to be on the journey with you. Your love is felt and we're sending you so much, too!
Thank you for the discussion. So much of what you said resounds with what I have been learning thru my buddhist meditation practices, thru studying archetypes and sitting. The energy of doing, the busyness, the overactive masculine energy that I keep noticing. And right now I want to celebrate staying still to listen to this. To reflect on recognizing patterns I saw in my own father repeat with myself as a mother. I have avoided divine feminine and divine masculine as of the plaque the past ten years because that would mean I need to look in the mirror. And the energy around protecting myself Has been too strong. But slowly, the stillness helps open up. Like listening today. Thank you. Pausing. Passing on the chance to rearrange furniture as I listen.but totally seeing the energy rise. 🙌 Thank you
Thank you 💜 This episode brings up a lot of feelings that are important for me to deal with and I love the way you speak about the masculine and feminine energy in this context.
Thank you so much for sharing, Pia, and being willing to look within and with curiosity. So glad this resonates
It was so good for me to watch this. Thank you for sharing! I had thoughts and feeling about my dad that I’ve never had or considered before. To think of how his childhood could have been and what influenced the way he reacted to me when I was a child. I’m still working on this… And also how I reacted and wasn’t present enough when my older children were young. Trying to understand what cycles still need broken.
Thank you so much for sharing with us, Rob and for being willing to listen and look within. These are profound reflections and new awareness and we are so grateful you're sharing them here with us. Your willingness is inspiring!
First off, thank you. For the last 5 weeks, I’ve been grieving the loss of a relationship with my ex, and this loss has thrust me into the world of holistic approaches to digging into my psychology and pain because I’m ready for change. I’m so tired of constant pain. I realize I’ve been seeking men who are similar to my father and have lived for their approval because I never got approval from my father. I’ve also been very convicted since digging into your How to Do the Work book, about the ways I’ve repeated unhealthy cycles towards my 8 yr old son that I learned in childhood from my unhealthy parents. Can the damage I’ve done to my son psychologically be reversed or healed? I’ve always wanted to break the cycle but I didn’t realize the many ways I’ve failed in breaking them until now. And it’s heartbreaking. I’m more ready for change now than I’ve ever been in my life. And I thank you for providing resources for self help, and not being yet another doctor who insists on medication being my only option.
❤ needed this as I don’t have the relationship that I want with my Father.. I’ve learned to meet him where he is .. thank you guys ❤
thank you so much for taking the time to share here, Ryanne. Grateful for you and your voice!
Another deeply profound and thought provoking episode. Thank you both for once again being so raw and down to earth. You make it so easy to resonate with your feelings. I believe that the spiritual journey is one of expansion of our heart and we can only achieve that authenticity by balancing our Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine. It is the " heart" of us all. My Dad left this realm in 2009. In his final days, he left so many gifts of wisdom and love. He lost his Mum when he was 6. In many ways, my Mum stepped in as the " controlling " force in their relationship. Nicole, I so relate to the fear, control, paranoia and negative mind set. I was brought up in a similar culture and family dynamic. Jenna, how incredibly brave that " little Jenna " was to know what she had to do to survive. Living in the " Masculine " most of my life, brought me to a place of security and stability but for me, it wasn't until my awakening that I realised just how much I had suppressed my Feminine more compassionate and empathic side. Once more, thank you both for sharing with us all. ❤️ 🙏
"longing and chasing" - wow Jenna, you just summed up my relationship with men my entire life that stemmed from the same feelings due to not knowing who my biodad was. I unknowingly wanted a man to fill that gaping hole. I now know, "it wasn't me, it was my trauma brain" but oh I still cringe a little. I have written several poems about inner child stuff, looking back I was like a little girl, arms outstretched, but in an adult's body. My mum told me I asked her where my dad was when I was 5, and she just said, "oh he's away." I remember trying to find evidence of him in my mum's bedroom - a photo, or something. I spent my life fantasising about a guy who would 'save' me, or about what I wanted a guy to be and not who he actually was.
Thank you so much for sharing these reflections with us, Jacqueline!! Thank you for this imagery of your poems-it's powerful. I resonate so much with your sharing (this is Jenna) and admire your personal awareness and willing curiosity. Thank you for listening, for being a part of the conversation and sharing your voice here with us all
@@SelfHealersSoundboard 🤗🙏
Thank you! Just what I needed! There aren't many resources on the topic so it's difficult to work with and most self-confidence issues stem from this wound 😔 my father was basically non-existent even though he was physically present. So I internalized the belief I didn't have anything interesting to say and nobody cares about me
I resonate with this so much. Sending love x
Powerful, DCR. Thank you so much for taking the time to share yourself with us here. This is so resonant to us both and undoubtedly so many here. Grateful for you
Same, Anna, same. thank you so much for connecting here
@@SelfHealersSoundboard thank you for responding to our needs as a community 🥰 another thing I think we're affected by to a large extent is spiritual trauma which makes many of us unable to trust life
thank you for this episode, this unblocked something inside of me. i really felt (literally) the part when the body was reacting when thinking about the fear. Ive only just started this journey about connecting to the body and its been scary but also rewarding reparenting myself and creating that saftey in the present moment.
Thank you for being so open which opened me up to myself ❤️
This is one of the most powerful comments I've ever read. Thank you for this gift
This video helped me to break through , thank you so much
Mind-blowing!
Thank you ladies for sharing your history ❤️☀️🌙
Thank you so much for listening and connecting here
Whew. Yeah. Thank you.
I love this one, even if I had to breathe a little deeper to hear it. Thank you
Celebrating you, Chantelle. Grateful for your awareness and sharing here.
Still have a huge lump in my throat, my father was absent, my uncle died when is was 4 along with his wife about 6 months before, both male and female kept disappearing and leaving me vulnerable to those that prey...was totally waiting for my knight to save me....not anymore but but it still hurts
Amy, thank you so much for your vulnerability and your voice. That hurt is so real and I applaud you for being willing to be with the discomfort, to look within and to heal. So grateful to know you are here in this community.
Same!! Lost my male cousin, uncle, dad and then grandpa in consecutive years 🥴 we’re gonna be ok and heal 💕
Such a great episode. Thank you for expanding on this topic and addressing feminine and masculine energy. I sent this episode to my father in hopes he will listen. He has been opening up about his childhood experience and as Nicole shares about her dad, I see alot of that had happened to my dad as well. Sending so much love to all the fathers out there working to break the cycle. Much love 💕
So much love to all of the fathers. And so much love to you, Samantha. How beautiful (and bold and courageous) to send this to your father. Thanks so much for sharing that, and for sharing yourself with us here. Grateful for your presence!
Thank you.
You are so welcome, Laura. Thank you for listening and connecting here
I'm curious about these family related topics. Are there or will there be more about this? Speaking for myself, I had a great childhood so I'm more curious to hear about dealing with families as an adult and the process of becoming more aware of family dynamics, mum and dad's own faults and how it is difficult to be around them sometimes, being the cycle breaker but feeling shitty or distant from your family because of that, and so much more.
Thank you so much ladies!! Where can I find a list of the needs so I can become aware of them? I’m familiar with love, safety, security.
Jenna I have a similar experience to you.
❤
Woah.
💚
Thank you for listening and engaging. Sending you so much love!
How do we heal the fatherwound?
I clicked on this to help me learn how to heal the father wounds. But got too much back story from the hosts had to find something else
Thank you for tuning in for a bit, Noel. We hope you find what you’re looking for ♥️
Not gonna lie. The woman on the right needs to calm down and listen to her own advice. How she speaks and how she acts are not the same.
Woman on left: you literally were saying the masculine energy is not as good at nurturing as feminine, and you’re right. But don’t say you’re not saying that but then in the same sentence literally say feminine is needed for nurturing. Again, listen to what you’re saying. Don’t just say it. 🇺🇸
TAT (Tapas accupressure technique) works on completely clearing up and healing past trauma at the core. Wondering if you've heard of it. I telate to both your stories and I've completely and deeply healed those triggers through TAT
❤️
Thank you for your love and engagement here Hulda