Episode 47: Why You Need To Feel To Heal
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- let’s face it, feeling our feelings is tough. And what does that even mean, anyway? In this episode, we break down how to feel so that you can heal from your past. And move forward to create a new version of yourself.
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Thank you for acknowledging the collective grief we are all experiencing together. I’m still trying to be comfortable letting myself feel my feelings.
You are so welcome, Sharon. Thank you for being here acknowledging and feeling with us, even through the discomfort. Sending you lots of love.
I have always been very emotional and cried easily. Then I learned that crying was a weakness and that others are not interested in what I'm feeling. It made me feel ashamed of what I was feeling. This is why I am a pro at hiding my feelings, not showing them. It is definitely a process to start feeling again. For the longest time I thought sadness was the only emotion I felt until I started doing the work and understanding that I also feel angry, frustrated, etc. Identifying and understanding my emotions and feelings remains very difficult. The hardest thing I've ever had to do is to acknowledge that my feelings are OK and to discover the more positive feelings and emotions. I am scared of talking to my loved ones about my feelings and emotions ... so I ignore it or delay talking about it.
Thank you for keeping me on your contact list. I especially needed exactly this topic at this exact time. I am going thru something, that makes me realize I have not learned to deal with trauma or even the hint of dysfunction, in a healthy way. I am 72 y.o. female and recently told my Psychiatrist, that I did not want to spend my end years trying to change myself and in therapy. I think I'm going to rethink that. I've had the typical dysfunctional family, childhood into adult hood trauma and struggle emotionally with loving myself. I will be watching and listening more from now on, as I know now that I want all the help I can get to respond with emotional intelligence and therefore have a more peaceful life, of what I have left, at least. I have been a Social Worker, and counseled people on Welfare myself. But, it doesn't change who I really am, it is easy to help others while yourself is neglected. I need to help myself now and this helped. Thank you..
It sound like you had a real turning-point experience and there is a fire within you for change. You show yourself to have courage. I am thinking of you and rooting for you.
This made me shed tears. It made me feel vulnerable and afraid to feel the fear, shame, guilt, etc. that I’ve been feeling for as long as I can remember. It rose many triggers for me and I was afraid of myself feeling those again. I am the oldest daughter out of 4. I was the caretaker of I would say my whole family. Concerned for my fathers drinking and substance abuse. Concerned for my mother as she was battling the same as my father along with the abuse my father directed towards her. I was concerned for myself and my sisters when the physical, mental, and verbal abuse was pinned on us children by both parents. There was a constant feeling of uncertainty and immense fear. I was harmful to myself- you both mention harming of the body to either feel something or continue to feel nothing. I did both to such extreme measures. I’m very grateful for everything I have gone through because yes, it has made me feel so detached and unloved by myself but it also gives me the opportunity to fully engulf in the trifecta of ME. It gives me the opportunity to know what kind of parent I want to be and do not want to be. I could go on and on about how this soundboard made me feel and how much I have connected with you both.
Thank you for creating this space to share, to grow, and to be heard. Thank you for creating such wonderful tools and light for people to look back on when they feel themselves falling backwards.
Now onto the self compassion vid😌
I am someone much like Nicole was, living in my head and on my “spaceship”. I have tried to become more in tune with my feelings but I just feel numb all the time; almost like there aren’t any feelings to “sink into or just be with”.
12:20 "literally desperate to be soothed" so relatable
Thank you so much for this episode. My entire life I have avoided my feelings, bottled them up and had them explode through anxiety, panic attacks and lashing out. As part of my self healing journey I have incorporated the use of rubber bands. I keep two on my wrist. When I feel an emotion I identify it and move one rubber band over to my other wrist. I then attempt to process the emotion and afterward move the second rubber band to my other wrist. So far it's helping. I'm so grateful for this episode!
This episode spoke so much to me, I lost my younger sister to addiction last year. My family has always been separate and dysfunctional. This showed even more after her death. I'm also going through a divorce in my personal life. So 2 major events in such a short time has been a lot on me. I have realized I haven't let myself feel the feelings and emotions that came on. Because I didn't want to feel weak or give up. Your podcast have helped so much in general. It's helped me begin to heal especially in one of the most difficult experiences I have had recently. And also seeing my childhood trauma coming out too. So thank you both so much. I'm so excited to be on this healing journey.
Yes go into my own world, my mom always made me feel weak for showing my feelings so I have had a hard time expressing them in a healthy way they usually come out when I’m triggered in a unhealthy way but I have been working on this lately using hypnotherapy for parts healing and that’s helping. Great video thank you both 🥰
I’m wondering if you guys are following me around these past few weeks this is in such alignment with what’s going on with me!! I literally was having my sixth grade trauma come up with my 40 year old friends who are being exclusive and mean instead of numbing or distracting I chose to sit with the pain on and off for the past two weeks allowing the discomfort of hurt and the pain to sit with me there was no adult logic self it was complete 12-year-old reactions. I watched how my adult self tried to judge me and say this is so stupid they don’t deserve you putting logic in and I asked that part of me to allow me to feel (don’t protect me right now) because these tests/scenarios keep coming up throughout my life. My question is once you feel the pain and sit with it how and what do we do in order to release it? (Not just feeling the pain! ) once you feel the pain for a while (almost 2 weeks now) then what?
This is such a good question and something I've been grappling with as well. It really sucks when you have an old memory come back again and again.
Thank you for sharing your stories with us and helping us through our healing journeys. It is such an important subject and I've learned to be patient with myself throughout this process. It's been scary at times, but I am now able to observe more and let feelings come through in a safe way. Very grateful for crossing paths with you all.
Thank u. Feels almost as if it was all about me. At 47 now trying but it’s difficult. It really hurts.
Inspired by you being here, Denise. For watching listening, leaning in through the discomfort and pain. Thank you so much for sharing.
Listening to you triggers lots of feelings in me on many levels. Also witnessing you and feeling your pain. I would love to see you slowing down and co- regulating more..
Another amazing episode, thank you to you both and your team! 🔥
I get extra pumped on Sundays; new episode dayay! 🥳😁 so thank you again for that excitement in my life. -----Just realized how I never thought I would be soo freakin excited for a new podcast episode (and about self healing too🤯) That's so exciting in itself.
You both have helped me grow sooo incredibly much, I continue to surprise myself. For the first time in my life I actually feel love for myself.
My inner critic or shadow self is still there even as I type this and trying to stay, "That's bull shit Gab, you fu$&in hate yourself, you stupid b!t×h" but I instantly know and can now fully feel that that isn't true. And I do really love myself. Thank you.
I am struggling with just witnessing my thoughts --and feelings, but getting better. And also with feeling them too much and letting them take over, or doing the opposite and numbing myself, suppressing emotions and distracting myself
Sending you, whoeever is reading this. Sooo sooo sooo much love💌💫💌
This episode is a key one for me. I listened to it three times. You discussed every aspect of feeling our feelings deeply according to your personal authentic experiences. Thank you two. ❤️💐
Ladies... first off I'm so grateful for you. Each week your episode addresses the exact moment I'm in on my healing journey, but this week really hit me hard enough to comment.
There's something happening in my body as I'm coming out of this 10-year dark night (and a lifetime of emotional chaos and abuse) and learning to fully feel and drop into my body. Though we understand that our brain becomes addicted to the chemicals and hormones of the stress response (like cortisol), I feel the desperate need to know how "coming off" of those addictions affects us physically.
For the first time in my life, I'm living in a rest + digest state (thank you, Vyvanse!) and it's a constant threat to my nervous system. I find myself in every moment subconsciously looking to put myself in familiar stress to soothe that addiction and get that "high". I'm experiencing what I can only describe as withdrawal symptoms as I truly connect with my physical body and show up in my life in this new way: I'm nauseous, my hair is falling out, I now have psoriasis (at age 39), the fatigue is soul-crushing, I can't swallow, I'm experiencing a never-ending migraine, my body convulses involuntarily, I can't eat, and I sob. For hours. Everyday.
I feel as if there must be an answer for this based in research and I'm hoping you will have it.
Full disclosure: I have been chronically ill since 2017 and I'm currently in the process of addressing a new diagnosis with my team. I share this because though I know my suffering stems from the abuse I endured as a child from my parents as well as the ancestral trauma of my big Italian family (and believe that beyond a shadow of a doubt), it's still imperative that we seek medical intervention when necessary, even if just to rule out serious conditions that could be fatal or life changing. I have ignored this physical issue that I'm dealing with now for over two years because my intuition just told me it was the chronic stress and depression I lived in everyday. I unintentionally sabotaged myself in this way and might be in a completely different state if I'd received intervention earlier.
Jenna: NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT JAKE even if people make you feel bad for doing so. His legacy is too important.
Dr. Nicole: Your work has had a profound impact on my life. The way you married the clinical and spiritual found me exactly when I needed it, in my darkest days. It let me know that someone else in the world deeply understood what I was experiencing when not a soul in my personal life could validate me. I'm forever grateful.
Please reach out if there's anything about my comment I can clarify.
Thank you ❤️
Just these past couple of days I had a reactive moment towards a friend, and I tried to “snap out of it” but I couldn’t. But I was able to communicate with my friend that I was upset. Later we had a tough conversation about how she felt in that moment and how I felt in that moment. It was a very tough conversations and I did feel hurt. But what I’m taking away from it is my new-found awareness of my feelings. I was aware of becoming upset. I was aware of feeling hurt and angry.
I still came from a reactive place but I’m proud of my awareness through it.
Thank you so much for all the helpful language and support you put out. It really helps ❤️
Lovely episode! Gave me a bit more clarity about what's happening for me right now ✨
Thank you so much for this content. This resonates with me so much. I know people that are in the opposite position where they feel their feelings so strongly that they lose all control and are unable to self regulate in the moment. Can you make an episode in response to that perhaps? Much love and thanks again ❤
Oh my god this is it! Thank you so much
It was really difficult to get through this and I had to force myself to not turn it off, my chest is physically hurting, tightening so badly that I want to run away from a silly video even.
Hi ladies, thank you so much for sharing all this with us !!
I wanted to ask you about this episode: does the “not feeling” or numbness of taking antidepressant also count in what you’re saying?
I’ve taken them for many years and I do believe it has kept me from feeling and therefore evolving/maturing/growing
Excellent thank you ❤
We need to feel to TRANSMUTE to become completely new. Heal keeps the cycled patterns coming back in different ways. It all has to GO!
Love this conversation. ❤
Thank you so much for your podcasts!🥰❤️ Jenna mentioned some research on war related ptsd, I wonder if could you please share the link to this if possible? I'd love to read this article more deeply since its something a family member is working through right now... 🌿
Great interview! What are ways to self regulate and self soothe when experiencing an anxiety attack?
I love both of u so much!
Thank you 💗
You are so welcome, Cass. Thank you for watching and commenting!
LOVE this episode! I needed to hear this in this moment, thank you ladies! 💛
When you said "teach our bodies in that moment to release those sensations", specifically what are the techniques that we would be teaching ourselves? Exactly how do you do this? - Thank you
Try qigong by Lee Holden. It helps for me to release tension in my body and emotional tension.
I've learned that I need an emotionally safe space to even get to a place where I can express emotions. For me that was by myself, journaling. Yet it was still very challenging to let them up and out. I felt so many walls in place, so much judgment for expressing them, and many times just a part of me that didn't want to go there. Recently I found breathwork and have discovered this to be a beautiful way for me to drop into my body, and often the emotions that are ready to be released are released as I breathe. I keep coming back to emotional safety though. If someone has never experienced safety to feel, how would we even know what this looks like? This is an innate human need, and we get to discover what that looks like for each of us, and then asking those people closest to us, if they are open to holding that sacred space as we open our hearts.
p͎r͎o͎m͎o͎s͎m͎ 😔
Just found your channel I’ve known about you for a long time and follow you on Instagram. Would like to thank you ladies for all that you do The world really needed you