I was so naive when I started, but for the things I think I would have liked to have known in advance, I'm actually glad I was so naive! My third kiddo was a huge challenge! Now, I probably wouldn't accept a placement call for a child with a similar history, but that placement truly helped me learn what fostering really was about. It challenged me to learn and adapt; to seek out other foster parents and to ask for help when needed. He was with me 11 months and I grew more in that time than any other of my life. And the pure joy I witnessed at reunification has made all the difference in the world. Every foster child I've had in my home has taught me something more about myself, about parenting in general, and about child needs.
You’ve really made me want to go into foster care, to look after the children whilst there family heal and repair themselves! We really need more family’s like you wanting to foster to help not to foster in the hope someone else’s family falls apart so you can have yours.
Hey, future foster parent here! I'm one of your silent viewers who enjoys your videos but has never commented. Until now that is. Lol Before I found your channel I was watching another lady's views and her experiences while fostering. I had to stop watching them when she kept labeling and putting down a certain group of people. Very glad I then stumbled onto your videos. I wanted to thank you for your heartfelt videos. I highly enjoy how open you are and I appreciate the information that you don't share. Your videos are making me want to get ready to start fostering though it's not the best time for me currently. Fostering has been on my heart since I was around 9, if not younger, and I really love all of the videos you have. I feel like no matter how much you learn and prepare for fostering you will always feel like there is a lot you "should" have known and wish you could have changed. Keep up the amazing work even when you feel like it isn't worth it. You're helping to change the world in a positive way for foster kids, their families and even for complete strangers like me. =)
If you live in Calgary there is a free clothing toiletry book and plant store open Thursdays - Saturdays called Good Neighbour! There is also a child specific store called Mamas for Mamas!
When you were posting new vids again, I didn’t watch them right away because I loved the videos about life with the foster kids in it en that was why I started watching in the first place. Now I’ve grown to love the new videos. I don’t always have the same vision about some things, but I have the same passion and dedication to advocate for the kids and their families. Keep on going, I love it ❤️
I hold the opposite belief. I have two beautiful and precious littles, siblings ages 2.5 years and 11 months, and they're our 1st placement I love them dearly, but in hindsight, I would have definitely opted to do just one kid first to ease myself in. Two has been super duper challenging and while I don't regret it one bit, I think we'll have to do one child next time. I know that may affect future placements but it's a strong consideration for me right now.
I’m nervous about this as well. I’m still taking the classes but, once I have my license, I plan to start with short-term respite care to get an idea of how many kids I can handle. I’m generally more comfortable with just one, but after caring for a family member for several early months of the pandemic, I felt bad that they were stuck in a home with just me because I’m an introvert and I need time to myself. They knew that every Saturday morning was either quiet time in our rooms, or I would watch them from the living room window playing with the neighbor on the porch. I’d like to adopt a sibling set now so the kids can talk and play with each other when I’m feeling the need to retreat a bit.
When the time comes, I wish I could do siblings, but my reality is that I will likely be a single foster parent so for my own sanity I will likely stick to one child at a time. I am not sure about age group though. On one hand, I work at an elementary school so that age would be really easy to stick close to. On the other hand, having a older child who could be a little more independent might also make sense because then when I'm at work I can be my teacher self and at home I can be my foster self. I also know that the need for placements for older children is very high. Any thoughts or opinions?
You could try to find foster parents in your area and ask them what the need is before hand. But I think there is nothing wrong in testing the waters. Start small and wish you would have started bigger vs starting big and taking too much on your plate. Have a good one. =)
Hope this isn't weird to ask: did you delete some videos from your channel? Of course it's ok if you & I don't need a reason I just thought there were more videos on your channel! Anyways love your channel! You are such an inspiration to me! 😊
What do you mean when you say you want to support the primary family, exactly? Would that be financially? Would it be you doing things with the foster child that the parents want you to do? I'm confused every time you mention this.
It looks different depending on the situation. In general, just knowing you are rooting for the family. Having open communication when appropriate. Keeping in contact with extended family when appropriate.
I said it looks different depending on the situation. The only thing that transcends all situations is communication. Foster caregivers should be available got support depending on what it looks like and what the case team recommends. My content is not a play by play, it’s intended to help as many people as possible so it is going to be at a higher level. If that’s not for you, there are other channels that share more personal and confidential information.
Believe it or not, there are foster families out there who do not support the primary family; who believe the child should stay with them so they can adopt them instead of being reunited with their family or with kin; who actively try to prevent that reunification from happening. So one way (of many) to support the primary family is to not think or act like that.
My husband and I will be done with training next month. I’m loving the tips. For now we are focusing on keeping siblings together, 0-14 age ranges, any race, any sex, and only 4 hard lines. 1) no child with a history of animal abuse/cruelty, 2) any child over 14 we need time to consider it before deciding, 3) We are not in the position to care for a high medical needs child , & 4) my husband works away during the week so no child/teen that has been jumped around do to breaking the law/ constant trouble.
I can relate to so many of these things since starting being a foster parent. That said, it is 100% OK to have age and gender limits based on what your comfort is and what you can handle. I am a single woman and primarily care for girls, but am open to younger boys (3-9). My only foster care disruption was when I took in a 15 yr old boy. I love that kid and he is wonderful, but after a month, his behaviors started to escalate into violence. This is not common (despite the stereotypes surrounding boys in care), but it became an issue where I couldn't keep both him and myself safe. I had agreed to initially keep him because they were going to put him in a group home (no one takes teen boys), and I just didn't want that for him. Sadly, after a few scary incidents, it became clear that he needed more than I was capable of giving. To this day, the decision to call the social worker and tell her he couldn't stay haunts me. I am still in touch with him and try to be a mentor and support.
I hear you, but every teen boy is not like that one. So I guess what I hope is that more people don’t generalize an experience with one child based on age or gender or something else to all kids who have that same characteristic. And I agree with you, people should only accept placements that they’re comfortable with. Hoping that expands though. Thanks for sharing your experience 💛
Your family is a wonderful foster family! Your GREAT example for how to be a foster family!! God bless you family for caring for children who needs someone to give them the support they need.
Im one of those kids you speak of. And i had a million foster placements, and none of the carers gave a shit, theyd abuse us while preaching mindfulness bullshit.
I was so naive when I started, but for the things I think I would have liked to have known in advance, I'm actually glad I was so naive! My third kiddo was a huge challenge! Now, I probably wouldn't accept a placement call for a child with a similar history, but that placement truly helped me learn what fostering really was about. It challenged me to learn and adapt; to seek out other foster parents and to ask for help when needed. He was with me 11 months and I grew more in that time than any other of my life. And the pure joy I witnessed at reunification has made all the difference in the world.
Every foster child I've had in my home has taught me something more about myself, about parenting in general, and about child needs.
I'm impressed. All if your regrets boil down to taking care if more kids. I hope you get kids soon because you were meant to be a foster mom.
You’ve really made me want to go into foster care, to look after the children whilst there family heal and repair themselves! We really need more family’s like you wanting to foster to help not to foster in the hope someone else’s family falls apart so you can have yours.
🙌🏼
This has been my goal for the channel for a long time… to inspire more great foster families 💛💛💛
Well put! Wishing you well in your journey.
Hey, future foster parent here!
I'm one of your silent viewers who enjoys your videos but has never commented. Until now that is. Lol
Before I found your channel I was watching another lady's views and her experiences while fostering. I had to stop watching them when she kept labeling and putting down a certain group of people. Very glad I then stumbled onto your videos.
I wanted to thank you for your heartfelt videos. I highly enjoy how open you are and I appreciate the information that you don't share.
Your videos are making me want to get ready to start fostering though it's not the best time for me currently.
Fostering has been on my heart since I was around 9, if not younger, and I really love all of the videos you have. I feel like no matter how much you learn and prepare for fostering you will always feel like there is a lot you "should" have known and wish you could have changed.
Keep up the amazing work even when you feel like it isn't worth it. You're helping to change the world in a positive way for foster kids, their families and even for complete strangers like me. =)
Wow, this comment means so much to me
If you live in Calgary there is a free clothing toiletry book and plant store open Thursdays - Saturdays called Good Neighbour! There is also a child specific store called Mamas for Mamas!
When you were posting new vids again, I didn’t watch them right away because I loved the videos about life with the foster kids in it en that was why I started watching in the first place. Now I’ve grown to love the new videos. I don’t always have the same vision about some things, but I have the same passion and dedication to advocate for the kids and their families. Keep on going, I love it ❤️
So glad that Tabitha’s Closet worked out for you! ☺️
I hold the opposite belief. I have two beautiful and precious littles, siblings ages 2.5 years and 11 months, and they're our 1st placement I love them dearly, but in hindsight, I would have definitely opted to do just one kid first to ease myself in. Two has been super duper challenging and while I don't regret it one bit, I think we'll have to do one child next time. I know that may affect future placements but it's a strong consideration for me right now.
I’m nervous about this as well. I’m still taking the classes but, once I have my license, I plan to start with short-term respite care to get an idea of how many kids I can handle. I’m generally more comfortable with just one, but after caring for a family member for several early months of the pandemic, I felt bad that they were stuck in a home with just me because I’m an introvert and I need time to myself. They knew that every Saturday morning was either quiet time in our rooms, or I would watch them from the living room window playing with the neighbor on the porch. I’d like to adopt a sibling set now so the kids can talk and play with each other when I’m feeling the need to retreat a bit.
Great job. I agree with quite a bit, I don’t disagree with anything. The one thing I would add to my list would be to make a list of hard No’s.
Love your makeup in this video!
Thanks! I was playing around with the Color Pop High Tide palette.
It sounds like you have really been doing some reflecting; wish your previous county/agency could see the sincerity in this video.
When the time comes, I wish I could do siblings, but my reality is that I will likely be a single foster parent so for my own sanity I will likely stick to one child at a time. I am not sure about age group though. On one hand, I work at an elementary school so that age would be really easy to stick close to. On the other hand, having a older child who could be a little more independent might also make sense because then when I'm at work I can be my teacher self and at home I can be my foster self. I also know that the need for placements for older children is very high. Any thoughts or opinions?
I don’t think you could go wrong with either 💛
You could try to find foster parents in your area and ask them what the need is before hand. But I think there is nothing wrong in testing the waters. Start small and wish you would have started bigger vs starting big and taking too much on your plate.
Have a good one. =)
Jack's Closet is awesome. My daughter had gotten a few items there for one of her fosters.
This was super informative, as your videos always are!
Only about half way threw and loving this
So glad you’re enjoying it!
love you guys!
💛💛💛
Hope this isn't weird to ask: did you delete some videos from your channel? Of course it's ok if you & I don't need a reason I just thought there were more videos on your channel! Anyways love your channel! You are such an inspiration to me! 😊
What do you mean when you say you want to support the primary family, exactly? Would that be financially? Would it be you doing things with the foster child that the parents want you to do? I'm confused every time you mention this.
It looks different depending on the situation. In general, just knowing you are rooting for the family. Having open communication when appropriate. Keeping in contact with extended family when appropriate.
@@meschahayes1003communication is actual support
I said it looks different depending on the situation. The only thing that transcends all situations is communication. Foster caregivers should be available got support depending on what it looks like and what the case team recommends.
My content is not a play by play, it’s intended to help as many people as possible so it is going to be at a higher level. If that’s not for you, there are other channels that share more personal and confidential information.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Believe it or not, there are foster families out there who do not support the primary family; who believe the child should stay with them so they can adopt them instead of being reunited with their family or with kin; who actively try to prevent that reunification from happening. So one way (of many) to support the primary family is to not think or act like that.
Hey everyone
Hey Sarah!
Hey, I think the sound might be missing ☺️ Excited for the video!
There is sound
Refresh and see if it’s working
No sound issues here
No sound issues
My husband and I will be done with training next month. I’m loving the tips.
For now we are focusing on keeping siblings together, 0-14 age ranges, any race, any sex, and only 4 hard lines. 1) no child with a history of animal abuse/cruelty, 2) any child over 14 we need time to consider it before deciding, 3) We are not in the position to care for a high medical needs child , & 4) my husband works away during the week so no child/teen that has been jumped around do to breaking the law/ constant trouble.
I can relate to so many of these things since starting being a foster parent. That said, it is 100% OK to have age and gender limits based on what your comfort is and what you can handle. I am a single woman and primarily care for girls, but am open to younger boys (3-9). My only foster care disruption was when I took in a 15 yr old boy. I love that kid and he is wonderful, but after a month, his behaviors started to escalate into violence. This is not common (despite the stereotypes surrounding boys in care), but it became an issue where I couldn't keep both him and myself safe. I had agreed to initially keep him because they were going to put him in a group home (no one takes teen boys), and I just didn't want that for him. Sadly, after a few scary incidents, it became clear that he needed more than I was capable of giving. To this day, the decision to call the social worker and tell her he couldn't stay haunts me. I am still in touch with him and try to be a mentor and support.
I hear you, but every teen boy is not like that one. So I guess what I hope is that more people don’t generalize an experience with one child based on age or gender or something else to all kids who have that same characteristic. And I agree with you, people should only accept placements that they’re comfortable with. Hoping that expands though. Thanks for sharing your experience 💛
❤️
Your family is a wonderful foster family! Your GREAT example for how to be a foster family!! God bless you family for caring for children who needs someone to give them the support they need.
When you limit by gender, did you limit it just to girls or did you stay open to girls and nonbinary kids and just excluded boys?
That’s also what made it complicated, and we realized it didn’t matter. But we were open to non-binary and kids who identified as trans.
Im one of those kids you speak of. And i had a million foster placements, and none of the carers gave a shit, theyd abuse us while preaching mindfulness bullshit.
💔