She's got a good sense of responsibility and morality. She's aware, and she's ponders a lot about Islam. (Ps. If you're wondering what the pattern is on farahs jilbab clothing, it's paisely design. Sliver blue white paisely to be specific.
Im obsessed with this style of podcast by you. Hilarious, true, unbiased, open minded, religious, scholastic and credible, relatable. Mashallah your amazing keep up the good work girlfriend i am a fan
I personally think men and women can be good teammates or colleagues, basically interactions where the reason your interacting with the opposite sex is to work on something (like a project or presentation) but the minute it gets intimate and you start joking around and inviting each other to places thats when you cross the line and there will definitely be feelings involved.
Even if there are no feelings involved, it's not safe for women to be close friends with men. Majority of SA is done by people the victim knows well. There are many things such as going on trips together etc that is safer to do with female friends than in mixed friendships. Or if you're feeling unwell in public, a female friends can take you to the women's bathroom. Same for men who has a male friend who is unwell.
I’ve had one close female friend and it ended up in heartbreak. I thought she was okay looking initially. But once I really got to know her, she became the most beautiful girl in the world. It’s definitely tough, you can’t just predict whether or not a relationship will remain platonic. And subhanallah the Islamic ruling is perfect because the amount of pain this girl has caused me is insane. Sins can definitely seem appealing, but they’re like fools gold. You think you’ve found something special but they only rob you of your peace. May Allah guide us all.
I Hope you got over this brother, and found peace in your heart. You are worthy of love and care, this experience is not the end, it’s the way for you to find the right one.
I think it’s entirely dependent on maturity. I think it’s kind of hard now for how much men sexualize women. They may not emotionally like you but they’ll sexualize you. If you can get beyond the “I have a stick you have a hole” neaderthalism than men and women can be friends. Women are capable of being friends with men, men are usually not being capable of being friends with women.
I agree. I truly believe that if men were socialized in such a way to see women as people first, instead of romantic/sexual partners, then there’d probably be more male/female friendships.
I also believe that our modern culture is a huge reason why everyone is hypersexual than we has ever been. We love to act like we can make any decision we want, but we are blind to the consequences. Men seek out brainrot entertainment while women depend on male validation like it's oxygen. It takes more effort to build mature relationships because you need mature people.
@@rosalaenneyeah maybe in the after life my dude. But seriously it's in our actual nature to be attracted to women unless you can change human nature somehow.
Even if there are no feelings involved, it's not safe for women to be close friends with men. Majority of SA is done by people the victim knows well. There are many things such as going on trips together etc that is safer to do with female friends than in mixed friendships. Or if you're feeling unwell in public, a female friend can take you to the women's bathroom. Same for men who has a male friend who is unwell.
I SWEAR TO GOD this is *so, so* true. Every single experience I've had with a male friend, even during middle school up until highschool and beyond, ended up with either him confessing his feelings, or me having to withdraw due to certain feelings I felt myself developing. Even if they were in a relationship and we were purely acquaintances, it was clear that they were attracted to me to a certain degree. The body language that used to be only professional, lighthearted, and platonically friendly, became flirtatious, inviting, and even coercing. I had to try and break away from most of my male friendships. It was harder than I thought, because I realized that somewhere along the way, I had some small hidden feelings too.
I am friends with a male since kindergarten and he never did such a thing. Even when he and his girlfriend had an open relationship he never once brought up feelings or sex. Speak for yourself but men and wo,en can indeed just be friends
@@jasmintea8825 Are you overweight? You don’t have to have a beautiful face for people to catch feelings. Or maybe you keep clear boundaries and that’s good.
@@alinanymus6830 we don´t use the exception to make the rules, most people aren’t like that, they fall far too easily for temptations and are selfish. Just for you to understand look at this analogies: in Japan there is some shops with no seller and no cameras, you take what you want and pay, what if we took this idea and applied it to America . ding dong it won’t work people will steel so even Tho it’s beautiful to see such concept it’s an exception not a rule
You guys are just projecting or You are young or something. I have many women friends and I hang out with their husbands and families and they trust I am not an idiot and try and do something stupid, Latinas, Asians, East Indians, American Black , Arabs, whites. None of them made moves and I haven't made any on them so my take is you and your guy friends weren't being honest with each other or respectful of your boundaries. Know and respect your boundaries and your intentions should be respectful and honorable.
this actually, i have/had a bunch of guy friends that i know wouldn’t see me like that, like i understand its a very common occurrence for opposite sex friendships to end up like that but its also not out of the box for the friendship to just be totally platonic and two people just genuinely liking each other’s company. Like this one guy I know is literally so considerate of the girls he’s friends with and doesn’t want to hang out with them alone if any of them do ask him to hang out, he ALWAYS brings a friend so it isn’t awkward, i’ve been friends with this guy for a while too and like we talk about nothing else but the games we both enjoy.
Agreed. This video feels very much like she assumes that the girl in these scenarios have some sort of ulterior motive knowing that someone she sees as just a friend likes her. My friends have mostly been guys and I often didn't knowsome of them liked me till we weren't friends anymore. If I find out a guy likes me that originally was just a good friend, I wouldn't really feel the need to drop them. It's ultimately up to them to realize what they wanna do after they know that I don't feel the same about them. Cause either way I'm still cool with just being friends. I can't read bro's mind and make decisions for him.
Absolutely, I'm a guy and even if I feel a little bit of attraction towards a woman I can still be normal and maintain the friendship because I'm not 16 anymore, a few attractive feelings are not that important and not too hard to ignore. I get that teenagers have no control over their feelings, but plenty of poeple can be celibate their whole life, you can learn self discipline LOL.
I had a fair amount of guy friends and never had any one of them tell me that they liked me until I lost a lot of weight. At first, I was confused and didn't know how to react because I wasn't used to guys telling me that they've liked me. As soon as I made it clear to them that I am not interested they distanced themselves away from me. I learned my lesson the hard way after attempting to "save" my friendships because I thought that something was wrong with me and that's why they were being distant. It was exhausting at the time and looking back at it now, I'm glad I went through that because that brought me closer to Allah. The more I became closer to Allah, the more I felt this natural inclination to stay away from them.
But what happened to the guys you were friends with before you lost weight? Did they start having feelings for you and then abandoned you? That sound so bad. Imo if they abandoned you because you weren't interested, they were never your friends. I've had several male friends stay being friends with me after I told them I'm not interested, and those relationships have been lasting for years now.
@@laislyra5512 They didn't abandon me immediately, but it happened slowly. It gave me time to reflect on what happened and I lowkey felt betrayed, but it was a great opportunity for me to leave instead of insisting on "fixing" the friendship. I don't know if it's true that they were never my friends to begin with because they were extremely supportive and encouraging and I'm glad I had them in my life, but it's something intrinsic in men for them to like their female friends. They see it as an opportunity to be with you if you decide to be friends with them. Think about it this way: Would your guy friends accept to be close friends with girls who they find unattractive? I've asked my guy friends the same question before, and they all said no. They're not bad people or fake friends, they're just opportunists who tried to shoot their shot, failed, and then moved to the next one. Seeing it this way made me realize that there is nothing wrong with me that made them go away, that's just how they are. We women often apply the same friendship dynamics that we have with our girlfriends also with our male friends and I think that's where the problem starts. We need to set a clear boundary with the non-mahram men in our lives.
wow, those jerks. They only started liking you when you lost weight. they didnt care about you, they were looking for something else. people who only look at the exterior will come and go, because we constantly change. Im so glad you were able to say no, even though it was incredibly hard. I feel your pain man, and i commend you for giving up your friends for the sake of Allah swt. If sincere, InshaAllah Allah swt will reward you with something greater in this Dunya, and greater in the Akhirah. Im sure you have other friends, but try getting close to people who love Allah swt. You can find them in halaqah's, masjids, community masjid youth volunteering, ext. Youve come a long way, develop your relationship with Allah swt, he has all the love, he is the MOST loving, you just need to take your small steps to learn to embrace it. im so proud of you and keep going.
hi so I just found you, I'm a Roman Catholic but I couldn't agree more. I've had a few close guy friends in the past and no matter how strong your intentions of staying friends are, it frequently ends poorly. Men and women should be kind and cordial to each other, but friendships between them are often a recipe for trouble.
We don't want to admit this, because we WANT to be able to have male friends, but it is true that 100% platonic friendships between men and women are exceedingly rare (especially when younger). They do exist but it is definitely not often the case. I had a very painful experience when younger where I befriended a bunch of guys who I thought really valued my friendship, but after I broke up with my bf each of them only tried to date me and treated me like garbage after I rejected them and asked to just be friends. I realized I had no real friends among any of them and they just saw me as something other.
be diplomatic, take yourself seriously, and don’t let them talk you into anything. know your boundaries and MAKE THEM KNOWN. you set guidelines for how much people have access to you. platonic friendships with the opposite sex are complete and utter BS. a few months ago i’ve started to realize how insanely intimate simple eye contact/locking your gaze with someone really was. I started to not look into men’s eyes as much as I can, even in public places. it makes me uncomfortable to think about all the guys i thought i was FRIENDS with who actually wanted to have intimate relations with me. set yourself straight and grow on your own, carry yourself with respect, and a genuine male partner will come along one day whom you will form a pure and strong bond with, which in islam, simply put, is marriage.
Salam! I am very shy and a people pleaser. Throughout uni, majority of my friends were guys (by circumstance, not by choice 😓 most girls formed cliques of their own and I didn't belong)... How do I set boundaries and make my intentions known that I don't like being touched or want to be alone with them? After graduating, In Shaa Allah I hope I'll be able to make female friends
Agreed about the eye contact… I’ve always been shy of it. Sometimes, I find it useful for being assertive when I’m in the correct composure and I feel like the other person is as well, but that tends to be relatively rare and only happens with work relationships.
I am Christian and we are allowed to be friends with guys, but with prudence anyways. I think your thoughts are so interesting and I will even think about the things that I heard because it really makes sense. Thanks for the video! It was really helpful!
@@ohh.mayyyy I am not a Christian anymore. But basically they're a INFINITY of interpretations, distortions and misconceptions. So it depends of the pastor.
I think that it is entirely possible for men and women to be friends. I am not attracted to every guy that I see, I am friends with guys that I am not attracted to, and even if you think someone is attractive again IT IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE TO VIEW THAT HUMAN AS A HUMAN AND BE THEIR FRIEND. Set boundaries the boundaries you know you should have in place and you will be fine!
@@wishes1887 it does not matter if you have boundaries. I don’t do big hugs with male friends, I think about the way that I interact with people and if it lines up with the kind of relationship I want to have with them. Also, you don’t have to act on attraction. Kids do this all the time out of fear, but you can choose to sit back and create boundaries with people if you think that you or them is getting unrealistic ideas. I have been friends with people and had crushes on them before, then you don’t see them for a while and you realise that it’s just a crush, and that they go away if you don’t feed them. Also, If a guy can’t see me as a person without being a potential romantic partner then I don’t choose them as my friend!!! The guy friend I have right now, I really enjoy spending time with and they are a good friend but we do not have a romantic relationship dynamic and I do not want it with him anyway. I honestly think the biggest part of having female-male friendships is maturity, acting with honesty, knowing what your priorities and boundaries are. Not everyone can do this, so they say it doesn’t exist.
Girl, that's just how us women think. But trust me, men don't operate the same way. It's simply their nature and psychology to want more if there is baseline attraction (which is very easy for them to have). So don't bother having male friends. Acquaintances, sure, but no close or 'real' frienships. Just think of avoiding male friendships as a way of respecting your future husband 😂
okay so i agree with you. we can view them as a human. ofcourse we are humans. and as humans, its wired in our biology to be attracted to the opposite gender. The reason we view the same gender platonically and the opposite attractive is because it has been wired in every aspect of us. we need to attract each other to reproduce. and maybe your not attracted to them, that's totally possible, but you cant guarantee that you wont be for long. and outside of you, you cant guarantee they don't like you. Their is a very very very fine line that sometimes even we cant figure out between friends and beyond that, and its almost guarantied you will someday see the spark in them, because the chemistry is there between males and females. And once you start connecting emotionally and you see the other person who your WIRED to be attracted to in your BIOLOGY bruh, your finished. I'm not attacking you, I used to believe men and women can be friends. But we weren't meant to be, why would it make sense if its wired for us to be attracted to one another? Do you really think it makes sense? think about it, try putting aside your feelings, which i know is extremely hard, its hard for me. But once we do, we can then we can see reality and the truth of the world, and finally learn to breathe. As James A. Garfield said best.. "The truth sets you free, but first it will make you miserable.". You need to choose between finding out the truth, even if its ugly, or maybe living a possible lie because its too scary to find out. And i know its hard, take your time. There is no need to rush. But little by little, truth by truth, step by step, inch your way closer to the truth. And hey maybe im wrong, and I could learn things ive never known from you, so lets constantly try to change and learn, perhaps the thing that scares us in every aspect of life is what sets us free. I love you so much and have a great day :)!!!
Those people seem to have real trouble understanding that there's several degrees of types of attraction. There's a difference between being madly in love with someone and just having a friend that you would hook up with if you had the opportunity. The latter most of the times is not suffering. It's entirely possible to for a guy to be friends with a woman they're not attracted to and vice-versa. Often times even if they had some sort of attraction, the feeling may end up disappearing and giving way to a friendship. I know that by experience.
Thank u so much for this podcast. My parents are extremely strict and I only got a phone recently on my 17th birthday - still with many restrictions. There is a boy in my class who kept asking to follow me on Instagram and I kept denying it. This boy was a Pakistani Muslim just like me. He kept calling me sexist and saying that it's because we're friends. First of all, this friendship was one-sided because he liked me a few years ago and that is when I decided to keep my distance. I ended up telling him that I have my principles and I'm not going to go against them for his sake. Anyways, thank u for this video because it validated my thoughts and made me feel much better.❤❤❤❤
human relationships are so much more complex than that though, and while its common for opposite sex relationships to end up like that its also possible for them to become completely platonic friendships, where you talk to each other about games you’re interested in, or you go to each other for help with work you don’t understand or because you need extra hands, or if you need help accidentally cheating on a test you forgot was a test, or if you need a shoulder to cry on or someone not to sugarcoat anything and to have a real conversation with you. The male friends I have and have had have helped me in these ways and they have never shown interest in me and of the numerous ones i’ve had i only ever started catching feelings for ONE of them. They are all considerate and genuinely so nice to talk to, i have a guy friend who refuses to hang out with his girl friends alone and insists on bringing another person along so it won’t feel awkward. Again relationships are so complicated, and while this is common, totally platonic relationships between opposite sex isnt a farfetched concept
I agree that forming a platonic bond with the opposite sex isn't entirely impossible, but I really do think that most of the time it doesn't go in that ideal direction. I had guy friends that I shared interests with and to this day, we still are strictly friends and non of us developed feelings for the other. However, there was one specific friend which I shared even MORE common interests with and honestly felt so at ease with. His company was always fun and often times we ended up hanging quite a lot together. I was sure we were just best buds and we weren't even each other's type anyway but as time went on, our emotional connection grew stronger and our interactions gradually became different. He started acting more intimate and I also felt some hidden feelings within me started surfacing so it really felt wrong and I had to eventually distance myself from him, which was quite hard and painful. All in all, my ramblings aside, I think coworkers/classmates relationships are the norm and are okay-ed because both parties are joining hands to achieve a common goal. But deep, emotionally connected platonic friendships aren't THAT common to happen because either of the two mostly ends up developing stronger feelings than that of friendship
You’re naive. You’re really overthinking it. In many ways, it IS that simple, we men are simple creatures (for the most part). I find it absolutely telling that men in that video were apprehensive and women immediately said yes. We are orbiters, we wait for women to have their hearts broken and we pounce. As messed up as it sounds, we want sex, that’s how it works. It’s not everything, but it’s a BIG part of it
The problem is men don't think the same about you. Thry will always look for opportunity to sleep with you, in the end. If they can't get their way, then they will stop contacting you and look for other fish.
@@susanna9831 In a muslim country we only interact with men if its necessary, work, volunteers etc.. if a man hears good things bout u or got a glimpse of how u look he would ask permission to have a talk to ask for u hand surveillant by member of ur family. thats way islam segregate both gender, so both people go into marriage with pure intentions theres no messing around, etc.
I've never watched one of your podcasts before but I saw when you announced this on your story and have been waiting since. Cant wait to listen to your take on this topic
I one hundred percent agree with having a purpose to interact with strangers or anyone, everything one does must have a reason/ purpose otherwise it is just unnecessary.
I've seen it happen. My kid brought a young man home from HS. His parents threw him out on his 18th birthday. They were in JROTC together, and I think that plays a part. The kids in her unit seemed to offer each other unconditional support. The young man needed a place to stay for 6 months before graduation and he entered the marine corps. Obviously I said yes. I'd never not support an abandoned kid. He was a responsible, good, kind kid. It's been 5 years. There is a strong bond, but they think of each other as brother and sister. Family. It's love, but not the boyfriend girlfriend type. He still relies on my husband and I for advice and we love him too. My daughter is an only child. She always wanted a sibling. He wanted a family who would love him. They just decided that was the relationship between them and that was that. Neither waivered from that.
someone mentioned that when a man and woman either form a good working relationship from school/work, or they grow up together there is a higher chance for them to have a true platonic friendship. and i agree, sometimes the dynamic can occur just so that the two people basically view each other as family and nothing more nothing less!
In these kinda situations, I've seen , a boy wouldn't go for that girl even if he has attraction for her because of gratefulness for her or her parents. Cause they know, they would lose both.
Girlie, you’re the only UA-camr that I can watch for more than 20 mins. I can actually watch you for hours. Love ALL your videos and you taught me sooooo much. KEEP GOING❤
It’s definitely not impossible. I have a couple of female friends in college that I would hang out with and work through our problems together. At the end of the day we ended up having a sibling relationship for most part. The relationship does change as soon as they found boyfriends we stopped hanging out as much until eventually we stopped hanging out altogether and they got married. I guess the blessing is, on the occasions I have encountered them in life after marriage we talk just like it was yesterday we were hanging out. The dynamic changes. However, the key is to be great full for the time you have in life with people. If it’s not romantic then that time is very limited and it can be easy to become positive. However, if you truly love someone, then you are supportive of them, even if it means that you won’t get together with that person.
I wrote a whole paragraph and deleted it because only one thing can explain my point, men also have preferences! Not every woman is their type, and not every woman they find attractive or beautiful!
I believe it doesn't matter how you look and what are a man's preferences as long as you wear like some sexy clothes and stuff they probably will be attracted to you not like falling in love or something but physically it's possible imagine you and another man are friends he's drunk and you were the only beside him probably he will try to touch you or something you know i hope you understand it's hard for me to express exactly what i wanna say
yeah but love is blind girl. And from personal experience, spending a lot of time with someone and living diffrent events together that can be joyful or sad is very able to create feelings. Also, if a girl weren't a boy's type or if he doesn't feel comfortable and happy around her she wouldn't be his friend in the first place. ;))
@@mindbodyfitn3ss It's one of the ones from UA-cam, not from the phone if that makes sense. But from here in the emoji options when you're writing a comment (under the line at least in desktop version)
I do think in rare cases yes, if the woman grew up with the guy and differs a lot from his preference or something like that. However I refuse to have more male friends, they all either tried to make a move on me or ghosted and blocked me with no explanation once they got a girlfriend which proved they did indeed want something more.
2020 was the perfect time/excuse for me to cut off/ block all my guy friends. I always sensed they liked me based on their gestures and compliments . For their sake and to obey God. Felt like that weight was off my shoulders! Best decision I’VE EVER MADE!
One of my dearest, best friends, is what I call "The sister I never wanted" 😂. I didn't anticipate us becoming friends, let alone forming a sibling like bond, but it is there and it's solid. I have never looked at her from that lens, and that is mutual from her. People in our work place brought up our closeness before to us individually, privately, and our responses were near identical. In meeting her fiancé, my only concern was that he treat her well, and he and I have come to be very close as well. I think it is most certainly possible. There is no exception or rule to it, it just depends on two individuals. I have another childhood friend (our parents tried to arrange our marriage) and we both agreed that wasn't happening. But she has been a great friend, and our relationship has never touched that line. 🤷🏾♂️
@@kaira_4286I've never had that either but still I wouldn't be friends with any men outside the bonds of family (ie biological brother, father, uncle, husband, son etc) as a Muslim. There are always exceptions to the rule but the rule is there because generally speaking biology and psychology is pretty strong and this stuff happens all the time. So personal experiences saying that this hasn't happened to you or to someone you know is not the general rule, it's just exceptions.
It’s not best to avoid. My best friends are all opposite gender and wow would I be missing out if I said “no we can’t be friends bc you’re not my gender”
Alhamdulillah you're so honest and real I love your videos. I recently reverted to Islam after my friend introduced it to me, I had some questions, did my own research and fell in love with the messages and positive intent of Islam. Your videos have really talked some sense into me on difficult topics that I didn't want to face but its like listening to advice from an older sister 🥹 Things I didn't want to but needed to hear! It's so difficult to come from a western mindset to realising everything Islam says is haram is haram for a reason! Its so easy for us to say men and women can interact regularly with each other but at the end of the day... I can't think of a single "guy friend" in my life who has NOT tried to make moves on me or flirt with me. Islam has made me feel empowered, beautiful and confident in ways I've never felt before, so much more than any western mindset/beliefs.
you are naïve if you think it is possible. i was naïve like that once and it just always ends up messy. Intentions don't matter truly, because most of us are driven by our feelings and when one party ends up catching feelings, it just a whole lot of mess that you can avoid knowing it is haram.
Facts. People in the comments keep naming exceptions but the exception does not make the rule. MOST of the time, it doesn't remain purely platonic whether we like it or not. And from an islamic point of view, it's haram, and again, whether we like it or not.
Girl let me be honest with you... Watching your videos, generally speaking, is so hard for me. Because they're so uncomfortable (truths). Though I watch them and I want to get out of my freaking comfort zone. Recently, we've been talking about this topic with my boyfriend. I was like 'No, men and women can be friends' and he was on the opposite side. For a little while I insist on my thoughts but then looking back to my past relationships and others, I realise that he is right. Maybe women think that they can be friends with men but men don't think that way... And now seeing your video about it... Girl the things that you said are so relatable and logical. Also, I had lots of fun while watching it. I couldn't keep my mouth shut because of laughing so hard. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, the facts, and the video with us. Love you
I disagree. I'm a guy with multiple female friends. I can tell you that yes, men and women can be friends. My discovery is that it is all about intention and mentality. Even if you find the other one sexually attractive, if what drives you to be with that other person is that you feel that you care for that person, that you enjoy his/her company and that a sexual/romantic interest is not the endgoal, that is a true male-female friendship. I have many of those, many of my women friends are really hot, and given the chance to hookup, I would take it, but honestly I don't mind or care if that chance ever comes, because that is not my drive to be with those female friends.
I think to many people, that list bit is why men and women can’t be friends. Maybe this isn’t your perspective as a man but there’s something so uncomfortable about the idea that someone who you consider a close friend, someone who’s like a sibling to you, is attracted to you sexually and would go for it given the chance. When you consider someone a friend, you want them to just be friends. When people say men and women can’t be friends, I think it’s more because of that because sexual attraction is seen as like against true friendship
I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST FOUND YOUR CHANNEL!!!! Absolutely love your content. I wanna put my opinion here before I listen and then edit after to see what I think once I hear your pov. For now, I would say it is possible, but it's very uncommon because it requires that there's no physical attraction and no chance of ever being physically attracted. Fact is, humans are attracted to most one another (sure we have preferences, but in general, a lot of what we don't like physically can become overlooked at least once after we get to know a person which is what being friends implies. That's why old couples are more deeply and meaningfully in love than in their youth, it's a bond that transcends their looks as most looks fade over time eventually). So, since it's so uncommon, imo it's not worth trying as it would be a very slippery slope that not everyone can navigate. It's the same thing as when people say it's possible to drink alcohol in moderation for your whole life. Like yes, it is technically possible, but chances are even people who drink moderately have had one heavy drinking session at least once in their life, and fact is alcohol is a difficult thing to moderate because of the pleasure and addictive nature/habits it can elicit. So, for me it's not worth trying in order to most safeguard against that slippery slope.
i did not agree with a lot of this video but inreally enjoyed hearing your perspective and everyone else's, thats a really great what to learn your own opinion on something lol my favorite part was the last rule and closer, i very much agree, we must treat one another with dignity ❤
This is honestly so true. I have had many men acquaintances but never friends. Once I did (by accident) end up in a friendship with a guy, he ended up actually falling for me and asked me on a date (which made me uncomfy considering his age). Now I keep my distance from him and stick to my girl best friends.
i have mixed opinions about this honestly, because i do believe men and women can be friends... but at the same time its difficult? 😭most of the male friends i've had in my life either developed romantic feelings for me or didn't find that interest in me, and i feel as if some guys will only be friends with you just to become something more meaningful to you, or as you both grow in the friendship, one or the other is soon to develop feelings (can't relate aroace hahahaha) but this is definitely a topic that not everyone will agree on whatsoever. (ALSO PLEASE TURN ON SUBTITLES)
omg an aroace person 😭 im a straight guy but im ace and i have a lot of queer friends and i have such mixed feelings abt this video bc in the context of straight ppl, maybe its true idk, but from what ive seen so far it doesnt acknowledge anyone who isnt straight; can bi people not be friends with anyone? can lesbians only be friends with guys? are aroace ppl the chosen ones who can befriend anyone? etc etc this vid just feels so old school, like its kinda sad that so many people believe (from their experience, too, which i dont wanna invalidate) that straight men and women cant be friends
As a guy I’m telling you rn 99% of men I feel when they have close female friends they are gonna want something more yk I think it’s just their psychology. Maybe not all but a lot of them for sure
@@jvg6877 i agree with you 100%, i think men and women can be friends, but i’m not denying the fact that one or the other, especially men, in that friendship will catch feelings or have ^^
Alright, now I have to say it, I LOVE YOU!!!! your videos brighten my Friday!!! Thank you so much your humor is epic as well, please make another vlog...
Maybe I'm a weirdo and I am only sharing my personal experience, but I always encouraged my partner to have female friendships. I even feel secretly happy when women show my partner attention because it reminds me I have a good egg and other women can see it too. He also encourages all my friendships, whether they be male or female ones, which makes me respect and love him more. He knows the value of me being surrounded by the people I choose and vice versa for him. He’s super secure in himself and his trust just makes me love him more, I know I have someone super special. I really enjoy the social, anthropological and evolutionary science of why we humans are the way we are and how and why we have relationships with people. Big fan of David Buss and his work etc. I treasure my female friendships but also my male ones. Most have got gfs now and even kids and they always make an effort to stay in contact and I get on with their partners well too. Sometimes friendships just happen because we like to hang out with each other :)
You’re a genuine person. Don’t let people like the girl in the video tell you otherwise. I have male friends too and they’re all in relationships and never made a move on me and is only see them as friends either. There is nothing wrong with that.
@@alinanymus6830 Yeh im assuming ( I don’t know this UA-camr!), but the titles of the videos seems to be deliberately controversial or inflammatory to maybe invite discussion perhaps? Either way it drives us to comment to disprove what’s being said and gets more views and interactions, so ultimately helps her channel to grow.
The bond you share with him is mainly driven by his connections with other people, rather than who he truly is. This could mean that either of you or he might walk away when things get tough or something important occurs. This pattern often leads to one of the primary reasons many relationships falter.
@@alinanymus6830While you might have been fortunate, not all girls share the same luck, as many have fallen victim to exploitation. Many of these individuals have been exploited and taken advantage of. Consider the striking abortion statistics: approximately 73 million induced abortions are carried out globally every year. This equates to 73 million lives being ended without their say in the matter. To put this into perspective, it's even more lives than the staggering death toll of 38 million during World War II. Imagine the weight of World War II unfolding every single year, amplified in scale and intensity, but this time, it's not on battlefields, rather it's playing out in operating rooms with an even more profound impact. I implore you to step down from any moral high ground you might occupy and truly acknowledge the detrimental impact of the western culture are inflicting upon the world. The girl in the video presents a potential solution to this deeply distressing issue. Can you even fathom the emotions tied to making the heart-wrenching decision of terminating your own child's life? That sentiment would linger indefinitely, haunting you and potentially triggering mental health challenges for anyone who has endured it.
@@roy-kn7pi i think 8 years of relationship with my partner and the fact we'd bpth been through the worst things in life (death of loved ones etc) and we have stuck by each other is good for me. With regards to my male friends ive had fora few years, ive watched them have different gfs until theyve settled with a long term partner as they have also witnessed my relationships until i found my partner, whom i hope to settle and have a lasting relationship with. I was even 'best woman' at two of my male friends weddings and we have been on many holidays together in the past and spent time 1 on 1. There has never been any sexual relationship or feelings and the most I have ever done is hug my friends to say hello and goodbye. The reason im being so open about this is because i want to normalise these platonic friendships and to show that at least in my life i have managed to hold a good relationship with an amazing man who i adore and good strong male friendships with me heterosexual male friends too.
Definitely men and women can be friends. As a woman that went to a ladies school and high school, and I didn't feel a good friendship with them. I only had truly friends when I started to work in a company when I was the only lady in it and they never crossed the line. Nowadays I am married and they are still my friends, they respect me and I respect them.
Right? It feels like sitting together and someone starting the question again about being friends. Haha. Hours of why and why not with optimism and jokes.
Very well said. I'm also having a friend opposite to my gender. In the initial and near middle stage, I tried not meeting her because i want to keep my gaze away. But she would often stand and waiting for me and conversing each other. Other method, she would come straight to me and act like a normal friend. I ended up having such fantasies about her. Adds even more distractions in my life. And me having a big exam in 2 months due, I gotta study. I also agree with professional interaction. Not having any bias here, but it is effective at keeping away from flirtatious or seductive feelings. Maybe after the final exam and ending my time with school, i would try maintaining a professional interaction with her.
Astaghfirullah, I used to have guy friends during my earlier teens before I stopped being friends with them and after a while found Islam, I had 3 of them say they used to be attracted to me during the time we were "friends". As a person who was super insecure, I couldn't even process it tbh. This is when I realized, after finding Islam, subhanAllah, Allah was right we can't be friends. So many past experiences further validate why things are haram for me personally. Alhamdulillah, I entered adulthood with Islam because idk where I would be fr
One of the only male "friends" (friend of a friend) I had was a boy who said he was attracted to men, and oh boy, I thought that meant nothing was gonna happen cause I wasn't interested in anyone. He later confessed to me.
I fully agree with everything here and I think it really does lead to a peaceful environment. And I don’t think anyone should take this too personally like if you have good male friends good for you babe 😭
@@Abida_mar636 not everyone is Muslim and some people are following a different fatwa bc maybe they are from another culture or that’s how their family was raised We always have to put this in mind bc again people these days will not just settle for “haram” they want kind of more specific and scientific reasons
@@alinka9884 personally I am an engineer student and I have to be around or talk to men sometimes so I understand how having some sort of relationship with them is important sometimes 🤷♀️
@@manalIhatemath i think different gender relationships are extremely important, platonic wise especially, we can’t just close ourselves off, but that’s so cool that you’re an engineer student!
I agree with you on this. It's an unavoidable reality that men tend to develop feelings. Something I wanna mention is that I don't think we go into these friendships looking for anything romantic, but our nature takes over I guess. I've had very meaningful friendships with women in my life, but staying friends after developing feelings or after one of us starts a relationship has never worked out.
@@isih9128I cut down all the female friends i had.Because some of them have BF and rest of them will never be my girlfriend and i was developing feelings for them. So i blocked one that was very close friend of mine and i stopped talking to rest of the casual female friends
I have plenty male friends that don’t want anything from me… and with one of them I am friends since 15 years. So if he would ever develope feelings I don’t think he will after such a long time when nothing ever happened
@@alinanymus6830 Even if there are no feelings involved, it's not safe for women to be close friends with men. Majority of SA is done by people the victim knows well. There are many things such as going on trips together etc that is safer to do with female friends than in mixed friendships. Or if you're feeling unwell in public, a female friend can take you to the women's bathroom. Same for men who has a male friend who is unwell.
The perspectives you touched on where very insightful and I guess refreshing as well. I love how all the points you made all linked back to our human nature, at the end of the day, we cannot deny biology and human psychology, their consequences affect all of us. It is comforting to know that the Islamic provisions on this issue, which are consistent with our human nature, are there to protect us.
I agree but this topic fucking breaks my heart every time it comes up. I miss people I thought were my friends. It always feels like my friendship is not valuable enough on its own and they need something more from me that I never wanted from them
Men and women can be friends. I know plenty people that have friends from both genders. My best friend is male whilst I’m female. I tested if he was only my friend bc he liked me or my body and he really just likes me as a friend. We never did anything sexual nor sensual. We still hang out and watch movies or cook or idk just stuff you do with friends. I also got new make friends last year and they also just see me as a friend. With one of them I went on a date bc I liked him (before we were friends) but he didn’t like me back and my feelings for him weren’t that strong to begin with and they disappeared shortly after. What would bisexual people do? Can’t they have any friends since they could like any gender? That’s such a fucked up thing. Y’all are missing out on some wonderful friendships. And trust me as a female you KNOW when a guy likes you in that way bc guys are fucking bad in hiding their feelings, especially when it comes to body language. So you just have to be smart to see who’s your friend and who not.
I feel this is more in the perspective of people who are religious. Obviously not everyone is going to agree with everything, but I agree with her stance on this (Besides, some things people do aren't going to match with Muslim/Christian/Jewish,etc values. Keeping that in mind we try to be mindful of how we interact with others in general).
We muslims don’t have close friendships with opposite sex, there’s no reason for us to have friendship with opposite sex cause we believe this kind of relationship is false from the start and will eventually turn to something else and that both men and women have some desires in a relationship, for example two guys that are friends don’t usually need emotional support and these stuff but women do and yes women are emotional, mothers are emotional, that’s how they work, that’s how the hormones in our bodies make us react so if a man and a woman were to be friends their desires might tend this relationship to become something else and that’s why it’s forbidden 🚫
@@gltme2403 That fully depends on the person. I know men that are way more emotional than some women. Also saying that men don’t need emotional support is so damaging and sad. Most suicides that happen are men. Why? Bc people like you cause them to keep their emotions to themselves and not open up to their friends, especially male friends. So it is even better when they have female friends who listen to them or give them another view on things. If the friendship turns into something more that’s on you and the other person. As I said I have plenty male friends since YEARS like I’m talking 10-15 years of friendship… none of us would get feelings or if we would we would keep it to ourselves in order to not destroy the friendship. Of course there has been many times when friends became a couple but tbh most times they likes each other to begin with… Religion really indoctrinates your way of thinking
if you’re even mildly attractive men are extremely hard to just be friends with. i was naive once and thought the same as you but i’ve had so many instances of thinking a guy was my friend and then he tests the waters. maybe not actually liking me on a deeper level but wanting to know if he could get lucky. it has happened numerous times and i’m only 23…. gay guys are the only men i can be friends with🤷🏾♀️. only way to ensure there’s no attraction. also the bisexual thing doesn’t apply either because if we’re real women just operate differently even if we do experience attraction to other women, sexualizing others isn’t so ingrained in us unlike for men where sexualization of women is sooo common and enabled from viewing porn to cheating to assigning a woman’s value to her attractiveness…
Exactly! In the past, when I was friends with men, I ALWAYS developed feelings for them after a while. I thought there was something wrong with me. When I realized this, I stopped making friends with men. It's nice to see that I wasn't the only one who felt this way, and it's normal .
Maybe the real question is what does frienship mean, and what should it bring? Meaningful discussion over deep topics, opening your mind to other way of thinking, having someone you can trust and rely on, not being judged. Exchange about philosophy and share a drink, without having romantic relations, I do think it is absolutely possible. When you are interested in a mind and a personnality, the gender doesn't matter and you can get over the attraction if there is one there. If by fear of attraction you simply pass on beautiful exchanged and relations, that's juste a waste and it is sad 🤔
Well, from the goals that you listed, I’d say that discussing philosophy or politics can be platonic between men and women and won’t lead to attraction… probably 🤔 unless you find their philosophy so beautiful that you fall in love with their persona because of it? 😅 But developing trust and relying on them is definitely something that would lead to a bond that should be pretty much reserved for family (marriage or your family of origin). That’s just not a kind of bond that you could ever easily let go of. And friends are not bound to you by any social or legal contract, so they’re free to leave at any time, meaning that the bond would have to break. So, it’s smart to either (1) bind your friends with a social contract, or (2) reserve the bond for people who you’re bound with by social contract. And if you do (1), it’s basically a marriage, lol, and you end up at (2).
My boyfriend is this guy. It would bother me more except that he has a very low to no sex drive so I actually think he is able to be friends with woman. But now that we are together he rarely talks to them anymore. Sometimes a quick catch up and I'm always invited. Asexual men are a little bit different. He has sex with me if I want to but otherwise he never initiates.
@@whatrtheoddsno offence but if your husband is not showing sexual interest around you, it may be that he is sleeping around with his female "friends". Happens more than you think.
@@susanna9831 no chance. His female friends are childhood friends and they don't live in our state. They do come here for work but it's rare. So assuming he is sleeping with them he would still be waiting months. He gets off on attention not sex.
As a guy, my perspective is: there are a few factors that make friendship between men and women more difficult, but by no means impossible. The strongest is: (for whatever reason) male friendships tend to be less vulnerable - so an intersex friendship is naturally more vulnerable than usual for the guy, making it likelier he catches feelings for how safe he feels. This is by no means necessary, I definitely learned to be more vulnerable in all friendships, and to notice where boundaries are with male or female friends, and how they are different (also in communication) with a partner. Then: having caught feelings, this should be communicated. That act of communication is a natural stressor in any relationship. Especially since guys tend to be worse at actually opening up about their feelings and processing them. For example, you would think that a guy, upon learning that his female friend isn't interested, would just lose interest in pursuing a relationship - purely out of self-respect. It often seems like that kind of respect for their own emotions is rare in guys.. but not impossible. Finally: Islam is internally consistent, and aims to protect individuals even from conflict of interest. But what worries me is the idea that not even homosexual men and women, or even asexual people are allowed relationships with the other gender - i.e., where no conflict of interest exists. Indeed, LGBTQ seem to be reserved a life of suffering to fit into Qu'ran. In these points this beautiful religion appears too dogmatic. Of course, Islam does not force itself onto people, so it is their choice. It also worries me, to a lesser extent, that men and women do not get to explore the aspects of mixed gender friendships for apparent fear of emotional hurt. We all grow, it's normal.
I just want to make a point on my end as a guy in a friendship with a girl for a while. I will admit I have felt attraction but it’s faded away over time and now it’s just platonic for me. When she got into a relationship I was happy for her and we’ve consistently been talking for a while
I spent my teenage years believing it’s possible, had a number of guy friends that ALL, eventually, wanted something more. It’s impossible to be “just friends”, there will always be other feelings lurking around.
The question should be can you be friends with someone you like romantically or find attractive that you would consider being in a relationship with them? Hell no lol duh… doesn’t matter the sex since there are lgbtq people. Can a gay man just be friends with another guy or can a bisexual person only be friends with both sexes? We don’t exist to solely reproduce anymore and if a person can’t think past that and form platonic relationships with people that’s on them…. They’ll miss out on getting to know really cool people. Also, ask yourself what is a friend to you? for me personally, yes I can be friends with a guy. Can a guy be friends with me? Idk but that’s an issue with the male population. They tend to only value something if it benefits them. For example, befriending a girl because deep down they want to sleep with her or be more. I value my platonic friendships and good connections a lot. A friend is just someone I talk to, share my interests/ideas with, and support their endeavors. It’s all about what you value. This why women have a lot of friends and better social life when they get older and a lot of elderly men are lonely by that age cuz they don’t know how to maintain relationships.
I appreciate this comment a lot! I too was thinking of lgbtq people, myself included as I am biromantic. Perhaps I see things differently since I am on the asexual spectrum and don't view things on the same level. What do they say if you are bisexual? That you should not be friends with anyone? I think through our conditioning there is a barrier preventing men and women from feeling friendly with one another without it getting romanticized/sexualized. There is also an obvious depleted perception of friendship and how important platonic relationships are, likely from how glamorized and crucial media has created romantic relationships to be.
You’re right, but there are men out there that are good friends and not only your friends bc they wanna get with you in the future. I have male friends and I know for sure they don’t want anything from me or if they want, they would still never act on that desire bc they value the friendship over sex. It all comes down to what their values are and how good they can control themselves.
@@kaydekuja You put it into words better than I could. lol. I love this. You make a really good point about there being a barrier. I think that people who live life in a heteronormative view cant seem to get past it. And that's why people are always having this debate can men and women be friends.
I'm a girl who had a lot of male friends in social media and most of them either they wanna have a relationship instantly (like after a week of talking) or you gonna be friends at first and after months they start to tell me i feel comfortable with you and i know what this means it's always ending up asking for a relationship so i stopped talking to guys the problem is i wanna learn a language and i feel that guys are better at communicating like they ask about a lot of stuff so the conversation keeps going but i hope i can do it alone
males and females are equally smart. try finding a girl thats a language freak, it gets ridda any possibilities. and maybe ull find a lifelong friend 🌸💞
It's not safe for women to be close friends with men. Majority of SA is done by people the victim knows well. There are many things such as going on trips together etc that is safer to do with female friends than in mixed friendships. Or if you're feeling unwell in public, a female friend can take you to the women's bathroom. Same for men who has a male friend who is unwell.
No, they can't be friends but acquaintances just acquaintances like yes we know each other but we'll never talk about anything else unless its work/college related, there must be limits in the relationship. Don't even go talk to them if there are females out there, like don't speak to them unless you have to because you don't have other options.
Men and women can definitely be friends - that is a fact. Not every man and every woman, but I definitely have platonic friendships with men and my husband has platonic female friends. One of my male friends was in my bridal party - my husband and I are both friends with him and hang out with him separately and together. We play video games, go out for dinner, watch movies, hang out at taco parties...absolutely no romantic feelings whatsoever!
The thing is that may be true on your end but you don't know what the other party would do given an opportunity. You might end up surprised like the women in the video. If not, you are a very rare case that we can't generalize with.
If you were single, he would definitely cross the line. However, he respects your husband; therefore, he would not allow himself to have feelings for you. But trust me if you were single, he would have feelings for you
I finally announce I quit music inspired by Farah❤️ I've been thinking about quitting music for a long time and listening to her podcast helped me a lot
@@somewhereright3160 It's nothing related to this video. Since I was watching this last night I wanted to deliver my impression about her quitting music content. Yes for people it's a gift, but I've been dealing with difficulties to be more focused because of music addiction. And Farah shared it in the pov of Islam
What about couple friends? My boyfriend and I hang out with other couples as a group, we play games, watch movies, converse, etc. I think it’s more psychologically safe to have guy-girl friendships if you’re both in a relationship. But it would probably still be weird if you hung out one on one and got TOO close 🤔
Hi, hope you are doing fine spending time with other couples in a group setting can potentially foster emotions between you and certain male friends you and your boyfriend associate with. Similarly, these male friends might develop feelings for you, even if you are already in a relationship. This dynamic could emerge when you and your boyfriend frequently socialize with other couples, forging strong connections and getting to know each other better. I am confident that over time, such interactions could lead to some level of emotional attachment. Please excuse any linguistic imperfections in my explanation; English is not my primary language.
Don’t let this lady indoctrinate your thinking. I have plenty male friends I hang out with alone and nothing ever happened between us. They didn’t confess feelings, they didn’t try or joke about starting something with me, they never tried having physical contact, not even hug except for like birthdays and other occasions like this where it’s normal everyone hugs you lmao
I understand Farahs position too. I just kinda hate how in these conversations people always portray man as people unable to control their urges and who always have their sexual motives in the background. Are they good logical leaders or animals ?
Sister Farah spitting facts, I agree 100% with everything you brought up. I‘m currently in a situation where I feel attracted to my co-worker. We both work as teachers and share a great team chemistry, what makes working with him very agreeable, to the point that I noticed that I seek his nearness (by being around him and talking to him). However, since I’m a married woman, I don’t want to get to the point in which I find my marriage endangered. Having spoken to my husband about having a crush on my co-worker lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And I had to admit to myself that I have transgressed the moment I started to look at my co-worker way too often. It’s exactly how you said: lowering the gaze is a precautionary measure. It all starts in the mind. Thoughts lead to actions. I found myself constantly thinking and daydreaming about him; thoughts that then started to develop and go in the wrong direction. This is where I wanted it to stop, not only because of my husband and the possibility of hurting myself and him, but because it would be also unjust towards my co-worker by sending off signals (whether consciously or unconsciously) that would be telling him I wanted us to be „friends“.
good topic cause I was also one of those who thought "it's possible" but I'm telling you girls, 99.9% of the time if you both got closer he'll develop feelings towards you and that's based on expereience. nothing haram for no reason! also don't say that you'll set limits, cause you really don't need their friendship. and most of the time it's going nowhere especially if it's online. it's just, what's the point? don't waste your time.
exactly!! there's a lot of non muslims' comments on this video and ofc its good to see their two cents but islamically, it's haram whether or not it's 'possible'. Muslims should keep that in mind and try not to become westernised in that sense
Maybe we can make a part 2, there’s more to cover sure It’s a very hot topic, everyone has experienced this before, maybe going into more details on how to avoid loss of purpose, flirting, when interacting with the opposite gender
I have a friend who wears a hijab and has many male and female friends. I have male friends - not all are straight and while some have turned out to have feelings for me a few of them are just good friends and we’re not attracted to each other. Possibly it’s different for fully heterosexual people who are conventionally attractive or maybe even younger people but even as a caregiver I’ve seen beautiful platonic male and female relationships. It really depends on you and your boundaries age, and the friends that you attract and how much you have in common and the things that you can help each other with. It seems like you saw college students with under developed brains and a high sex drive the men are also most likely very misogynistic and have ulterior motives and don’t see those girls as people yet, more like a conquest
I’ve been watching this for the past eight minutes I’m pretty sure I was like the 4th to watch it 🎉and I immediately tap the notification😮and right now I’m in eight minutes in 😅and then there’s already so many comments 🤷♀️it really proves how great Farah is 😊 Also girl I’m so sorry but my attention span can literally barely finish this video🧍♀️😭🔫💗
I disagree because having male friends without them feeling something for you is possible .. but most of the time like 99% one of both will like eachother
@@cannedcan9788 true n its kinda sad because it ruins the friendship I do truly believe in friendships of male a female since a woman has the possibility not to like a man that’s close to her same about the man but its very rare me personally i don’t feel attracted to any of my male friends and I feel like they dont like me that way either so I’m good ig
@@k4zj I wonder if men from all cultures struggle with that though. I have Polish and Turkish heritage and I have seen fellow men of both cultures often ruin the friendship that way (Although Turkish men are often more direct, which I think is better than getting into a friendship in hopes of one day having her like you back). I live in Germany and I would say that German men often actually manage to have long lasting friendship with women, but the vast majority still screws it up most of the time sadly. I wonder if there is a culture where it works more often than not
@@cannedcan9788 yea it probably had to do a lot with how people grow up and cultures a bit In greece we have a LOT of male and female friendships that are very close to each-other but don’t see each-other romantically Thats why i have many male friends we are way more open about things But also there will always be the majority who believes that men and women cant be friends
As a person not interested in romance nor sex, I believe there is a possibility for friendship between men and women. The problem comes with interests, I am more passionate about many "manly" things while my friends are into "girly" stuff. It's way harder to meet girls interested in "manly" things so that would be one setback to women and men being friends.
Not a Muslim or any other religion follower, but I agree with most of your points, It’s weird that people think it’s normal , I mean yes, it can happen. There are platonic female/male friendships but its not normally this way.
At first i thought it can't be done.. till i tried it in my mid 20s and i said "ofc it can be done (without attraction feelings)". Flashback to me being oblivious it's not me that being attracted
What if the man has a girlfriend/wife who he loves but in a same time has some friends who are girls? He just enjoys talking to them and think they're smart and funny
I just want to give you a huge round of applause! I don't know where you live, but comparing what he's saying to what I can see now in some of the Egyptian community on social media, I am so proud of you, your dedication to educate yourself about Islam and proud of your parents who were able to bring you up the way you are. May Allah bless you.
Yes, they can. I have multiple male friends with whom I have also talked about this topic. No, just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean you want to be in a relationship with them/sleep with them. There were periods were I was single in the friendship too and they never made a move either. I have also never felt any sexual tension/romantic attraction towards them and they feel the same way. However, I do think this is an exception and respect people's experiences and thus believes that it's not possible.
@@ourstuff5822 ? I have literally asked by guy friends this, literally as I already stated in my og comment. Also, there were periods in our friendship when I was single and they still didn't make a move.
I think it is possible for opposite genders to be friends. It all depends on the individuals however/ how they perceive one another and how the man perceives women in general. My brother was my best friend (he has passed away recently), and I have never had a better friend than him. Being that we were siblings, there is an obvious difference than the general man/woman friendship, but I think that it can go to show it depends on societal conditioning and how romance seems to be much more prioritized than friendship, sadly.
One time a teacher said to us "Women and man can be friends. Everybody agrees to that, right?" and most of my classmates answered positively to it even though I could see their faces saying otherwise filled with uncertainty. I again think this as Islam beautifully eliminating trouble before some heartbreak, unneeded drama could happen. Almost similar to alcohol. It is okay to use it for health purposes and it is okay to communicate with opposite sex when there is a place, a situation but it is not okay to consume alcohol because it blurs your mind, clouds your judgement and it might not be the best thing to be friends with the opposite sex because some feelings can effect your decisions, there is always a possibility of catching feelings. This is how I understand the situation and let me tell you never been involved in any drama thorought highschool and it is great. I still act as a therapist to my friends because of their unresolved highschool boyfriends/crushes haha
The male friends that I had always had some hidden intentions towards their female friends. One guy from work was a close friend until he asked me if we should try dating each other. So it’s a yes for me. Men and women can't be friends. Even platonic friendships could develop into romantic ones unless there is a boundary. P.S. We didn’t end up together.
Even if there are no feelings involved, it's not safe for women to be close friends with men. Majority of SA is done by people the victim knows well. There are many things such as going on trips together etc that is safer to do with female friends than in mixed friendships. Or if you're feeling unwell in public, a female friend can take you to the women's bathroom. Same for men who has a male friend who is unwell.
I laughed SO LOUD with the “i love studies… they prove me right every time”
Almost always 😂
She's got a good sense of responsibility and morality. She's aware, and she's ponders a lot about Islam.
(Ps. If you're wondering what the pattern is on farahs jilbab clothing, it's paisely design. Sliver blue white paisely to be specific.
😅
😂❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Im obsessed with this style of podcast by you. Hilarious, true, unbiased, open minded, religious, scholastic and credible, relatable. Mashallah your amazing keep up the good work girlfriend i am a fan
Soo true
religious and credible in the same message haha nice one
Same,its amazing
such a tone deaf comment 😭
@@John-vu5qm Oh an Islamaphobc and close minded person. HAHAHAHA so funny.
I personally think men and women can be good teammates or colleagues, basically interactions where the reason your interacting with the opposite sex is to work on something (like a project or presentation) but the minute it gets intimate and you start joking around and inviting each other to places thats when you cross the line and there will definitely be feelings involved.
Totally agreed with what you said
in most cases, as sometimes another person can have feelings for the teammate, but in most cases, your opinion is right.
Even if there are no feelings involved, it's not safe for women to be close friends with men. Majority of SA is done by people the victim knows well. There are many things such as going on trips together etc that is safer to do with female friends than in mixed friendships. Or if you're feeling unwell in public, a female friends can take you to the women's bathroom. Same for men who has a male friend who is unwell.
I can be friends with a girl i find unattractive.But attractive girl?Probably not
@@Returntonature145 , yes, absolutely because you’ll eventually develop feelings
I’ve had one close female friend and it ended up in heartbreak. I thought she was okay looking initially. But once I really got to know her, she became the most beautiful girl in the world. It’s definitely tough, you can’t just predict whether or not a relationship will remain platonic. And subhanallah the Islamic ruling is perfect because the amount of pain this girl has caused me is insane. Sins can definitely seem appealing, but they’re like fools gold. You think you’ve found something special but they only rob you of your peace. May Allah guide us all.
😢😢😢 may Allah ease your pain
ameen
I Hope you got over this brother, and found peace in your heart. You are worthy of love and care, this experience is not the end, it’s the way for you to find the right one.
that was so well said tabarak Allah
The time will come brother be patient, inshallah.
I think it’s entirely dependent on maturity. I think it’s kind of hard now for how much men sexualize women. They may not emotionally like you but they’ll sexualize you. If you can get beyond the “I have a stick you have a hole” neaderthalism than men and women can be friends. Women are capable of being friends with men, men are usually not being capable of being friends with women.
I agree. I truly believe that if men were socialized in such a way to see women as people first, instead of romantic/sexual partners, then there’d probably be more male/female friendships.
I also believe that our modern culture is a huge reason why everyone is hypersexual than we has ever been. We love to act like we can make any decision we want, but we are blind to the consequences. Men seek out brainrot entertainment while women depend on male validation like it's oxygen. It takes more effort to build mature relationships because you need mature people.
@@rosalaenneyeah maybe in the after life my dude. But seriously it's in our actual nature to be attracted to women unless you can change human nature somehow.
Then why don’t men get attracted to other men cause for you guys, everything has a hole 💀😂
Even if there are no feelings involved, it's not safe for women to be close friends with men. Majority of SA is done by people the victim knows well. There are many things such as going on trips together etc that is safer to do with female friends than in mixed friendships. Or if you're feeling unwell in public, a female friend can take you to the women's bathroom. Same for men who has a male friend who is unwell.
I SWEAR TO GOD this is *so, so* true. Every single experience I've had with a male friend, even during middle school up until highschool and beyond, ended up with either him confessing his feelings, or me having to withdraw due to certain feelings I felt myself developing. Even if they were in a relationship and we were purely acquaintances, it was clear that they were attracted to me to a certain degree. The body language that used to be only professional, lighthearted, and platonically friendly, became flirtatious, inviting, and even coercing. I had to try and break away from most of my male friendships. It was harder than I thought, because I realized that somewhere along the way, I had some small hidden feelings too.
I am friends with a male since kindergarten and he never did such a thing. Even when he and his girlfriend had an open relationship he never once brought up feelings or sex. Speak for yourself but men and wo,en can indeed just be friends
Idk if I’m just ugly but none of my opposite sex friendships developed to that degree. I didn’t develop feelings and they also didn’t as far as I know
@@jasmintea8825 Are you overweight? You don’t have to have a beautiful face for people to catch feelings. Or maybe you keep clear boundaries and that’s good.
@@alinanymus6830 we don´t use the exception to make the rules, most people aren’t like that, they fall far too easily for temptations and are selfish. Just for you to understand look at this analogies: in Japan there is some shops with no seller and no cameras, you take what you want and pay, what if we took this idea and applied it to America . ding dong it won’t work people will steel so even Tho it’s beautiful to see such concept it’s an exception not a rule
You guys are just projecting or You are young or something. I have many women friends and I hang out with their husbands and families and they trust I am not an idiot and try and do something stupid, Latinas, Asians, East Indians, American Black , Arabs, whites. None of them made moves and I haven't made any on them so my take is you and your guy friends weren't being honest with each other or respectful of your boundaries. Know and respect your boundaries and your intentions should be respectful and honorable.
Relationships are nuanced. People can navigate feelings of attraction while maintaining respectful and meaningful friendships.
this actually, i have/had a bunch of guy friends that i know wouldn’t see me like that, like i understand its a very common occurrence for opposite sex friendships to end up like that but its also not out of the box for the friendship to just be totally platonic and two people just genuinely liking each other’s company. Like this one guy I know is literally so considerate of the girls he’s friends with and doesn’t want to hang out with them alone if any of them do ask him to hang out, he ALWAYS brings a friend so it isn’t awkward, i’ve been friends with this guy for a while too and like we talk about nothing else but the games we both enjoy.
Agreed. This video feels very much like she assumes that the girl in these scenarios have some sort of ulterior motive knowing that someone she sees as just a friend likes her. My friends have mostly been guys and I often didn't knowsome of them liked me till we weren't friends anymore. If I find out a guy likes me that originally was just a good friend, I wouldn't really feel the need to drop them. It's ultimately up to them to realize what they wanna do after they know that I don't feel the same about them. Cause either way I'm still cool with just being friends. I can't read bro's mind and make decisions for him.
Finally someone said it
Absolutely, I'm a guy and even if I feel a little bit of attraction towards a woman I can still be normal and maintain the friendship because I'm not 16 anymore, a few attractive feelings are not that important and not too hard to ignore. I get that teenagers have no control over their feelings, but plenty of poeple can be celibate their whole life, you can learn self discipline LOL.
Prevention is better than cure, folks. As as a female, I’d rather have friendships with females than indulge in unnecessary cross-sex friendships.
I had a fair amount of guy friends and never had any one of them tell me that they liked me until I lost a lot of weight. At first, I was confused and didn't know how to react because I wasn't used to guys telling me that they've liked me. As soon as I made it clear to them that I am not interested they distanced themselves away from me. I learned my lesson the hard way after attempting to "save" my friendships because I thought that something was wrong with me and that's why they were being distant. It was exhausting at the time and looking back at it now, I'm glad I went through that because that brought me closer to Allah. The more I became closer to Allah, the more I felt this natural inclination to stay away from them.
Mashallah. May allah forgive you and protect you❤️
Why is your pfp and username like that
But what happened to the guys you were friends with before you lost weight? Did they start having feelings for you and then abandoned you? That sound so bad.
Imo if they abandoned you because you weren't interested, they were never your friends. I've had several male friends stay being friends with me after I told them I'm not interested, and those relationships have been lasting for years now.
@@laislyra5512 They didn't abandon me immediately, but it happened slowly. It gave me time to reflect on what happened and I lowkey felt betrayed, but it was a great opportunity for me to leave instead of insisting on "fixing" the friendship.
I don't know if it's true that they were never my friends to begin with because they were extremely supportive and encouraging and I'm glad I had them in my life, but it's something intrinsic in men for them to like their female friends. They see it as an opportunity to be with you if you decide to be friends with them.
Think about it this way: Would your guy friends accept to be close friends with girls who they find unattractive? I've asked my guy friends the same question before, and they all said no. They're not bad people or fake friends, they're just opportunists who tried to shoot their shot, failed, and then moved to the next one.
Seeing it this way made me realize that there is nothing wrong with me that made them go away, that's just how they are. We women often apply the same friendship dynamics that we have with our girlfriends also with our male friends and I think that's where the problem starts. We need to set a clear boundary with the non-mahram men in our lives.
wow, those jerks. They only started liking you when you lost weight. they didnt care about you, they were looking for something else. people who only look at the exterior will come and go, because we constantly change. Im so glad you were able to say no, even though it was incredibly hard. I feel your pain man, and i commend you for giving up your friends for the sake of Allah swt. If sincere, InshaAllah Allah swt will reward you with something greater in this Dunya, and greater in the Akhirah. Im sure you have other friends, but try getting close to people who love Allah swt. You can find them in halaqah's, masjids, community masjid youth volunteering, ext. Youve come a long way, develop your relationship with Allah swt, he has all the love, he is the MOST loving, you just need to take your small steps to learn to embrace it. im so proud of you and keep going.
Give this lady her 100K already
Fr!!!
100 Million
She just got it
She got it!!
yeyyy
hi so I just found you, I'm a Roman Catholic but I couldn't agree more. I've had a few close guy friends in the past and no matter how strong your intentions of staying friends are, it frequently ends poorly. Men and women should be kind and cordial to each other, but friendships between them are often a recipe for trouble.
Last part is soo true
not everybodys straight lmao
@@abduwalimuse7482ikr this comment section is so heteronormative 😭 men and women CAN be friends even if both of them are straight, actually??
@@pinkcherry9695This is a Muslim channel, take your backwards degeneracy elsewhere.
@@elkq0 i know, and im calling all of your opinions heteronormative and that's my opinion.
We don't want to admit this, because we WANT to be able to have male friends, but it is true that 100% platonic friendships between men and women are exceedingly rare (especially when younger). They do exist but it is definitely not often the case. I had a very painful experience when younger where I befriended a bunch of guys who I thought really valued my friendship, but after I broke up with my bf each of them only tried to date me and treated me like garbage after I rejected them and asked to just be friends. I realized I had no real friends among any of them and they just saw me as something other.
Yea you can only really befriend gay guys, AroAce guys and girls. :/
be diplomatic, take yourself seriously, and don’t let them talk you into anything. know your boundaries and MAKE THEM KNOWN. you set guidelines for how much people have access to you. platonic friendships with the opposite sex are complete and utter BS. a few months ago i’ve started to realize how insanely intimate simple eye contact/locking your gaze with someone really was. I started to not look into men’s eyes as much as I can, even in public places. it makes me uncomfortable to think about all the guys i thought i was FRIENDS with who actually wanted to have intimate relations with me. set yourself straight and grow on your own, carry yourself with respect, and a genuine male partner will come along one day whom you will form a pure and strong bond with, which in islam, simply put, is marriage.
people will deal with you according to the boundaries you 've made known just set yourself straight , well said thanks sis
Salam! I am very shy and a people pleaser. Throughout uni, majority of my friends were guys (by circumstance, not by choice 😓 most girls formed cliques of their own and I didn't belong)... How do I set boundaries and make my intentions known that I don't like being touched or want to be alone with them?
After graduating, In Shaa Allah I hope I'll be able to make female friends
@@Malalalalalisten to this podcast :D
Agreed about the eye contact… I’ve always been shy of it. Sometimes, I find it useful for being assertive when I’m in the correct composure and I feel like the other person is as well, but that tends to be relatively rare and only happens with work relationships.
FACTS.
We love you Farah, you're the big sister I never had but always wanted🥹🤍🌷
I knoww right!😅
That fsct that i wait for your episodes every Friday is unreal.
Farah uncomfortable truths is my favorite
I am Christian and we are allowed to be friends with guys, but with prudence anyways. I think your thoughts are so interesting and I will even think about the things that I heard because it really makes sense. Thanks for the video! It was really helpful!
I heard u guys can’t be friends with guys once ur married right? Heard it from a christian tiktoker
@@ohh.mayyyy I am not a Christian anymore. But basically they're a INFINITY of interpretations, distortions and misconceptions. So it depends of the pastor.
@@Cut1ePlushieofc Ahh okay understandable, if you don’t mind me asking what’s your religion now?
@@ohh.mayyyy it's okay, basically I am an atheist
@@Cut1ePlushieofc ahhh okay, cool!
I think that it is entirely possible for men and women to be friends. I am not attracted to every guy that I see, I am friends with guys that I am not attracted to, and even if you think someone is attractive again IT IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE TO VIEW THAT HUMAN AS A HUMAN AND BE THEIR FRIEND. Set boundaries the boundaries you know you should have in place and you will be fine!
you aren't attracted to them but what makes you so sure that they aren't attracted to you either?
@@wishes1887 it does not matter if you have boundaries. I don’t do big hugs with male friends, I think about the way that I interact with people and if it lines up with the kind of relationship I want to have with them. Also, you don’t have to act on attraction. Kids do this all the time out of fear, but you can choose to sit back and create boundaries with people if you think that you or them is getting unrealistic ideas. I have been friends with people and had crushes on them before, then you don’t see them for a while and you realise that it’s just a crush, and that they go away if you don’t feed them. Also, If a guy can’t see me as a person without being a potential romantic partner then I don’t choose them as my friend!!! The guy friend I have right now, I really enjoy spending time with and they are a good friend but we do not have a romantic relationship dynamic and I do not want it with him anyway.
I honestly think the biggest part of having female-male friendships is maturity, acting with honesty, knowing what your priorities and boundaries are. Not everyone can do this, so they say it doesn’t exist.
Girl, that's just how us women think. But trust me, men don't operate the same way. It's simply their nature and psychology to want more if there is baseline attraction (which is very easy for them to have). So don't bother having male friends. Acquaintances, sure, but no close or 'real' frienships. Just think of avoiding male friendships as a way of respecting your future husband 😂
okay so i agree with you. we can view them as a human. ofcourse we are humans. and as humans, its wired in our biology to be attracted to the opposite gender. The reason we view the same gender platonically and the opposite attractive is because it has been wired in every aspect of us. we need to attract each other to reproduce. and maybe your not attracted to them, that's totally possible, but you cant guarantee that you wont be for long. and outside of you, you cant guarantee they don't like you. Their is a very very very fine line that sometimes even we cant figure out between friends and beyond that, and its almost guarantied you will someday see the spark in them, because the chemistry is there between males and females. And once you start connecting emotionally and you see the other person who your WIRED to be attracted to in your BIOLOGY bruh, your finished. I'm not attacking you, I used to believe men and women can be friends. But we weren't meant to be, why would it make sense if its wired for us to be attracted to one another? Do you really think it makes sense? think about it, try putting aside your feelings, which i know is extremely hard, its hard for me. But once we do, we can then we can see reality and the truth of the world, and finally learn to breathe. As James A. Garfield said best.. "The truth sets you free, but first it will make you miserable.". You need to choose between finding out the truth, even if its ugly, or maybe living a possible lie because its too scary to find out. And i know its hard, take your time. There is no need to rush. But little by little, truth by truth, step by step, inch your way closer to the truth. And hey maybe im wrong, and I could learn things ive never known from you, so lets constantly try to change and learn, perhaps the thing that scares us in every aspect of life is what sets us free. I love you so much and have a great day :)!!!
Those people seem to have real trouble understanding that there's several degrees of types of attraction. There's a difference between being madly in love with someone and just having a friend that you would hook up with if you had the opportunity. The latter most of the times is not suffering.
It's entirely possible to for a guy to be friends with a woman they're not attracted to and vice-versa. Often times even if they had some sort of attraction, the feeling may end up disappearing and giving way to a friendship. I know that by experience.
Thank u so much for this podcast. My parents are extremely strict and I only got a phone recently on my 17th birthday - still with many restrictions. There is a boy in my class who kept asking to follow me on Instagram and I kept denying it. This boy was a Pakistani Muslim just like me. He kept calling me sexist and saying that it's because we're friends. First of all, this friendship was one-sided because he liked me a few years ago and that is when I decided to keep my distance. I ended up telling him that I have my principles and I'm not going to go against them for his sake. Anyways, thank u for this video because it validated my thoughts and made me feel much better.❤❤❤❤
Never do anything ur not comfortable with! Salaam from another sister
Stay firm, imagine if your future husband is in the similar position, what do you want him to do? Do that!
human relationships are so much more complex than that though, and while its common for opposite sex relationships to end up like that its also possible for them to become completely platonic friendships, where you talk to each other about games you’re interested in, or you go to each other for help with work you don’t understand or because you need extra hands, or if you need help accidentally cheating on a test you forgot was a test, or if you need a shoulder to cry on or someone not to sugarcoat anything and to have a real conversation with you. The male friends I have and have had have helped me in these ways and they have never shown interest in me and of the numerous ones i’ve had i only ever started catching feelings for ONE of them. They are all considerate and genuinely so nice to talk to, i have a guy friend who refuses to hang out with his girl friends alone and insists on bringing another person along so it won’t feel awkward. Again relationships are so complicated, and while this is common, totally platonic relationships between opposite sex isnt a farfetched concept
I agree that forming a platonic bond with the opposite sex isn't entirely impossible, but I really do think that most of the time it doesn't go in that ideal direction. I had guy friends that I shared interests with and to this day, we still are strictly friends and non of us developed feelings for the other. However, there was one specific friend which I shared even MORE common interests with and honestly felt so at ease with. His company was always fun and often times we ended up hanging quite a lot together. I was sure we were just best buds and we weren't even each other's type anyway but as time went on, our emotional connection grew stronger and our interactions gradually became different. He started acting more intimate and I also felt some hidden feelings within me started surfacing so it really felt wrong and I had to eventually distance myself from him, which was quite hard and painful. All in all, my ramblings aside, I think coworkers/classmates relationships are the norm and are okay-ed because both parties are joining hands to achieve a common goal. But deep, emotionally connected platonic friendships aren't THAT common to happen because either of the two mostly ends up developing stronger feelings than that of friendship
You’re naive. You’re really overthinking it. In many ways, it IS that simple, we men are simple creatures (for the most part). I find it absolutely telling that men in that video were apprehensive and women immediately said yes. We are orbiters, we wait for women to have their hearts broken and we pounce. As messed up as it sounds, we want sex, that’s how it works. It’s not everything, but it’s a BIG part of it
As a Christian girl myself, I think we are supposed to treat all men as brothers (friends) until marriage.
As a Muslim , same here
Islam saya as foreigners
wrong we're not suppose even commuicate with em only if its needed such as work enviroment@@Yuh7881
The problem is men don't think the same about you. Thry will always look for opportunity to sleep with you, in the end. If they can't get their way, then they will stop contacting you and look for other fish.
@@susanna9831 In a muslim country we only interact with men if its necessary, work, volunteers etc.. if a man hears good things bout u or got a glimpse of how u look he would ask permission to have a talk to ask for u hand surveillant by member of ur family.
thats way islam segregate both gender, so both people go into marriage with pure intentions theres no messing around, etc.
I've never watched one of your podcasts before but I saw when you announced this on your story and have been waiting since. Cant wait to listen to your take on this topic
Off coarsee our girls farahs got us
I one hundred percent agree with having a purpose to interact with strangers or anyone, everything one does must have a reason/ purpose otherwise it is just unnecessary.
I've seen it happen.
My kid brought a young man home from HS. His parents threw him out on his 18th birthday. They were in JROTC together, and I think that plays a part. The kids in her unit seemed to offer each other unconditional support.
The young man needed a place to stay for 6 months before graduation and he entered the marine corps. Obviously I said yes. I'd never not support an abandoned kid. He was a responsible, good, kind kid.
It's been 5 years. There is a strong bond, but they think of each other as brother and sister. Family. It's love, but not the boyfriend girlfriend type. He still relies on my husband and I for advice and we love him too. My daughter is an only child. She always wanted a sibling. He wanted a family who would love him. They just decided that was the relationship between them and that was that. Neither waivered from that.
Rare exceptions always happen
someone mentioned that when a man and woman either form a good working relationship from school/work, or they grow up together there is a higher chance for them to have a true platonic friendship. and i agree, sometimes the dynamic can occur just so that the two people basically view each other as family and nothing more nothing less!
In these kinda situations, I've seen , a boy wouldn't go for that girl even if he has attraction for her because of gratefulness for her or her parents. Cause they know, they would lose both.
Girlie, you’re the only UA-camr that I can watch for more than 20 mins. I can actually watch you for hours. Love ALL your videos and you taught me sooooo much. KEEP GOING❤
It’s definitely not impossible. I have a couple of female friends in college that I would hang out with and work through our problems together. At the end of the day we ended up having a sibling relationship for most part. The relationship does change as soon as they found boyfriends we stopped hanging out as much until eventually we stopped hanging out altogether and they got married. I guess the blessing is, on the occasions I have encountered them in life after marriage we talk just like it was yesterday we were hanging out. The dynamic changes. However, the key is to be great full for the time you have in life with people. If it’s not romantic then that time is very limited and it can be easy to become positive. However, if you truly love someone, then you are supportive of them, even if it means that you won’t get together with that person.
Well maybe the fact that you stopped talking after they got into relationships says something….
I wrote a whole paragraph and deleted it because only one thing can explain my point, men also have preferences! Not every woman is their type, and not every woman they find attractive or beautiful!
I believe it doesn't matter how you look and what are a man's preferences as long as you wear like some sexy clothes and stuff they probably will be attracted to you not like falling in love or something but physically it's possible imagine you and another man are friends he's drunk and you were the only beside him probably he will try to touch you or something you know i hope you understand it's hard for me to express exactly what i wanna say
yeah but love is blind girl. And from personal experience, spending a lot of time with someone and living diffrent events together that can be joyful or sad is very able to create feelings. Also, if a girl weren't a boy's type or if he doesn't feel comfortable and happy around her she wouldn't be his friend in the first place. ;))
love how she has the sarcasm brown's have. a literal roasting session it was. girls spilling faxs out there. Love ya
@@mindbodyfitn3ss It's one of the ones from UA-cam, not from the phone if that makes sense. But from here in the emoji options when you're writing a comment (under the line at least in desktop version)
I do think in rare cases yes, if the woman grew up with the guy and differs a lot from his preference or something like that. However I refuse to have more male friends, they all either tried to make a move on me or ghosted and blocked me with no explanation once they got a girlfriend which proved they did indeed want something more.
You are so naturally funny. I actually laughed out loud so many times. May Allah bless you.
2020 was the perfect time/excuse for me to cut off/ block all my guy friends. I always sensed they liked me based on their gestures and compliments . For their sake and to obey God. Felt like that weight was off my shoulders! Best decision I’VE EVER MADE!
One of my dearest, best friends, is what I call "The sister I never wanted" 😂. I didn't anticipate us becoming friends, let alone forming a sibling like bond, but it is there and it's solid. I have never looked at her from that lens, and that is mutual from her. People in our work place brought up our closeness before to us individually, privately, and our responses were near identical. In meeting her fiancé, my only concern was that he treat her well, and he and I have come to be very close as well.
I think it is most certainly possible. There is no exception or rule to it, it just depends on two individuals.
I have another childhood friend (our parents tried to arrange our marriage) and we both agreed that wasn't happening. But she has been a great friend, and our relationship has never touched that line. 🤷🏾♂️
FINALLY SOMEONE W COMMON SENSE
same experience here! I have several brothers I never wanted haha
Yes but I’m sure you’ve had friends of the opposite gender in the past that wanted you in a different light?
@@Goldnal7 I've never had that
@@kaira_4286I've never had that either but still I wouldn't be friends with any men outside the bonds of family (ie biological brother, father, uncle, husband, son etc) as a Muslim. There are always exceptions to the rule but the rule is there because generally speaking biology and psychology is pretty strong and this stuff happens all the time. So personal experiences saying that this hasn't happened to you or to someone you know is not the general rule, it's just exceptions.
I think it’s dependent on age, environment, and individual situations. It’s best to just avoid.
It’s not best to avoid. My best friends are all opposite gender and wow would I be missing out if I said “no we can’t be friends bc you’re not my gender”
@@alinanymus6830exactly. Avoidance is the guide to a miserable life.
Alhamdulillah you're so honest and real I love your videos. I recently reverted to Islam after my friend introduced it to me, I had some questions, did my own research and fell in love with the messages and positive intent of Islam. Your videos have really talked some sense into me on difficult topics that I didn't want to face but its like listening to advice from an older sister 🥹 Things I didn't want to but needed to hear! It's so difficult to come from a western mindset to realising everything Islam says is haram is haram for a reason! Its so easy for us to say men and women can interact regularly with each other but at the end of the day... I can't think of a single "guy friend" in my life who has NOT tried to make moves on me or flirt with me. Islam has made me feel empowered, beautiful and confident in ways I've never felt before, so much more than any western mindset/beliefs.
Farah, you’re so awesome mashallah. You’re literally one of my reasons I look forward to Fridays now walahi.
Love you Sis❤
you are naïve if you think it is possible. i was naïve like that once and it just always ends up messy. Intentions don't matter truly, because most of us are driven by our feelings and when one party ends up catching feelings, it just a whole lot of mess that you can avoid knowing it is haram.
Facts. People in the comments keep naming exceptions but the exception does not make the rule. MOST of the time, it doesn't remain purely platonic whether we like it or not. And from an islamic point of view, it's haram, and again, whether we like it or not.
Girl let me be honest with you... Watching your videos, generally speaking, is so hard for me. Because they're so uncomfortable (truths). Though I watch them and I want to get out of my freaking comfort zone.
Recently, we've been talking about this topic with my boyfriend. I was like 'No, men and women can be friends' and he was on the opposite side. For a little while I insist on my thoughts but then looking back to my past relationships and others, I realise that he is right. Maybe women think that they can be friends with men but men don't think that way...
And now seeing your video about it... Girl the things that you said are so relatable and logical. Also, I had lots of fun while watching it. I couldn't keep my mouth shut because of laughing so hard. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, the facts, and the video with us. Love you
I disagree. I'm a guy with multiple female friends. I can tell you that yes, men and women can be friends. My discovery is that it is all about intention and mentality. Even if you find the other one sexually attractive, if what drives you to be with that other person is that you feel that you care for that person, that you enjoy his/her company and that a sexual/romantic interest is not the endgoal, that is a true male-female friendship. I have many of those, many of my women friends are really hot, and given the chance to hookup, I would take it, but honestly I don't mind or care if that chance ever comes, because that is not my drive to be with those female friends.
I think to many people, that list bit is why men and women can’t be friends. Maybe this isn’t your perspective as a man but there’s something so uncomfortable about the idea that someone who you consider a close friend, someone who’s like a sibling to you, is attracted to you sexually and would go for it given the chance. When you consider someone a friend, you want them to just be friends. When people say men and women can’t be friends, I think it’s more because of that because sexual attraction is seen as like against true friendship
I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST FOUND YOUR CHANNEL!!!! Absolutely love your content. I wanna put my opinion here before I listen and then edit after to see what I think once I hear your pov. For now, I would say it is possible, but it's very uncommon because it requires that there's no physical attraction and no chance of ever being physically attracted. Fact is, humans are attracted to most one another (sure we have preferences, but in general, a lot of what we don't like physically can become overlooked at least once after we get to know a person which is what being friends implies. That's why old couples are more deeply and meaningfully in love than in their youth, it's a bond that transcends their looks as most looks fade over time eventually). So, since it's so uncommon, imo it's not worth trying as it would be a very slippery slope that not everyone can navigate. It's the same thing as when people say it's possible to drink alcohol in moderation for your whole life. Like yes, it is technically possible, but chances are even people who drink moderately have had one heavy drinking session at least once in their life, and fact is alcohol is a difficult thing to moderate because of the pleasure and addictive nature/habits it can elicit. So, for me it's not worth trying in order to most safeguard against that slippery slope.
You put it perfectly 👌 very well said. I was thinking the same things.
i did not agree with a lot of this video but inreally enjoyed hearing your perspective and everyone else's, thats a really great what to learn your own opinion on something lol
my favorite part was the last rule and closer, i very much agree, we must treat one another with dignity ❤
This is honestly so true. I have had many men acquaintances but never friends. Once I did (by accident) end up in a friendship with a guy, he ended up actually falling for me and asked me on a date (which made me uncomfy considering his age). Now I keep my distance from him and stick to my girl best friends.
Instead of watching the video I was watching her expressions all along OMG she is too good😂😂😂
I remember when i watch a random Tiktok challenge named "I kissed my bestfriend" so now i can relate to Farah's idea lol
In my opinion:
In short no
Like hanging out etc no especially when it’s not in a big group but I think acquaintances is ok
watching this video changed my perspective on this question, glad i watched it
i have mixed opinions about this honestly, because i do believe men and women can be friends... but at the same time its difficult? 😭most of the male friends i've had in my life either developed romantic feelings for me or didn't find that interest in me, and i feel as if some guys will only be friends with you just to become something more meaningful to you, or as you both grow in the friendship, one or the other is soon to develop feelings (can't relate aroace hahahaha) but this is definitely a topic that not everyone will agree on whatsoever. (ALSO PLEASE TURN ON SUBTITLES)
omg an aroace person 😭 im a straight guy but im ace and i have a lot of queer friends and i have such mixed feelings abt this video bc in the context of straight ppl, maybe its true idk, but from what ive seen so far it doesnt acknowledge anyone who isnt straight; can bi people not be friends with anyone? can lesbians only be friends with guys? are aroace ppl the chosen ones who can befriend anyone? etc etc this vid just feels so old school, like its kinda sad that so many people believe (from their experience, too, which i dont wanna invalidate) that straight men and women cant be friends
As a guy I’m telling you rn 99% of men I feel when they have close female friends they are gonna want something more yk I think it’s just their psychology. Maybe not all but a lot of them for sure
lol you probably havent seen the rest of this channel's videos then@@pardent
@@cynical_chai8922 its true i havent ‼️ i should listen later, my comment is just based on the comments ive read + the first part of this vid
@@jvg6877 i agree with you 100%, i think men and women can be friends, but i’m not denying the fact that one or the other, especially men, in that friendship will catch feelings or have ^^
Alright, now I have to say it, I LOVE YOU!!!! your videos brighten my Friday!!!
Thank you so much your humor is epic as well, please make another vlog...
Maybe I'm a weirdo and I am only sharing my personal experience, but I always encouraged my partner to have female friendships. I even feel secretly happy when women show my partner attention because it reminds me I have a good egg and other women can see it too. He also encourages all my friendships, whether they be male or female ones, which makes me respect and love him more. He knows the value of me being surrounded by the people I choose and vice versa for him. He’s super secure in himself and his trust just makes me love him more, I know I have someone super special. I really enjoy the social, anthropological and evolutionary science of why we humans are the way we are and how and why we have relationships with people. Big fan of David Buss and his work etc. I treasure my female friendships but also my male ones. Most have got gfs now and even kids and they always make an effort to stay in contact and I get on with their partners well too. Sometimes friendships just happen because we like to hang out with each other :)
You’re a genuine person. Don’t let people like the girl in the video tell you otherwise. I have male friends too and they’re all in relationships and never made a move on me and is only see them as friends either. There is nothing wrong with that.
@@alinanymus6830 Yeh im assuming ( I don’t know this UA-camr!), but the titles of the videos seems to be deliberately controversial or inflammatory to maybe invite discussion perhaps? Either way it drives us to comment to disprove what’s being said and gets more views and interactions, so ultimately helps her channel to grow.
The bond you share with him is mainly driven by his connections with other people, rather than who he truly is. This could mean that either of you or he might walk away when things get tough or something important occurs. This pattern often leads to one of the primary reasons many relationships falter.
@@alinanymus6830While you might have been fortunate, not all girls share the same luck, as many have fallen victim to exploitation. Many of these individuals have been exploited and taken advantage of. Consider the striking abortion statistics: approximately 73 million induced abortions are carried out globally every year. This equates to 73 million lives being ended without their say in the matter. To put this into perspective, it's even more lives than the staggering death toll of 38 million during World War II. Imagine the weight of World War II unfolding every single year, amplified in scale and intensity, but this time, it's not on battlefields, rather it's playing out in operating rooms with an even more profound impact.
I implore you to step down from any moral high ground you might occupy and truly acknowledge the detrimental impact of the western culture are inflicting upon the world. The girl in the video presents a potential solution to this deeply distressing issue.
Can you even fathom the emotions tied to making the heart-wrenching decision of terminating your own child's life? That sentiment would linger indefinitely, haunting you and potentially triggering mental health challenges for anyone who has endured it.
@@roy-kn7pi i think 8 years of relationship with my partner and the fact we'd bpth been through the worst things in life (death of loved ones etc) and we have stuck by each other is good for me.
With regards to my male friends ive had fora few years, ive watched them have different gfs until theyve settled with a long term partner as they have also witnessed my relationships until i found my partner, whom i hope to settle and have a lasting relationship with. I was even 'best woman' at two of my male friends weddings and we have been on many holidays together in the past and spent time 1 on 1. There has never been any sexual relationship or feelings and the most I have ever done is hug my friends to say hello and goodbye. The reason im being so open about this is because i want to normalise these platonic friendships and to show that at least in my life i have managed to hold a good relationship with an amazing man who i adore and good strong male friendships with me heterosexual male friends too.
Definitely men and women can be friends. As a woman that went to a ladies school and high school, and I didn't feel a good friendship with them. I only had truly friends when I started to work in a company when I was the only lady in it and they never crossed the line. Nowadays I am married and they are still my friends, they respect me and I respect them.
Sounds like mommy issues
@@NotANoob27x7 why?
I absolutely adore you, i watched this entirely with laughter
I love how your educate young viewers in a way they can understand
allahumma barik !! 🌸
Right? It feels like sitting together and someone starting the question again about being friends. Haha. Hours of why and why not with optimism and jokes.
Very well said. I'm also having a friend opposite to my gender. In the initial and near middle stage, I tried not meeting her because i want to keep my gaze away. But she would often stand and waiting for me and conversing each other. Other method, she would come straight to me and act like a normal friend.
I ended up having such fantasies about her. Adds even more distractions in my life. And me having a big exam in 2 months due, I gotta study.
I also agree with professional interaction. Not having any bias here, but it is effective at keeping away from flirtatious or seductive feelings.
Maybe after the final exam and ending my time with school, i would try maintaining a professional interaction with her.
Astaghfirullah, I used to have guy friends during my earlier teens before I stopped being friends with them and after a while found Islam, I had 3 of them say they used to be attracted to me during the time we were "friends". As a person who was super insecure, I couldn't even process it tbh. This is when I realized, after finding Islam, subhanAllah, Allah was right we can't be friends. So many past experiences further validate why things are haram for me personally. Alhamdulillah, I entered adulthood with Islam because idk where I would be fr
How beautiful ur story is ❤ allah bless u sis
@@Alan_18h Ameen🤎
May Allah reward you, sis!
One of the only male "friends" (friend of a friend) I had was a boy who said he was attracted to men, and oh boy, I thought that meant nothing was gonna happen cause I wasn't interested in anyone. He later confessed to me.
Damn 😭
one of the blessings of today is youtube recommending ur video. thank u, sister 🫶🏻
I fully agree with everything here and I think it really does lead to a peaceful environment.
And I don’t think anyone should take this too personally like if you have good male friends good for you babe 😭
RIGHT, like don't get me wrong i LOVE my girlies, but im okay with some men LOL
@@Abida_mar636 not everyone is Muslim and some people are following a different fatwa bc maybe they are from another culture or that’s how their family was raised
We always have to put this in mind bc again people these days will not just settle for “haram” they want kind of more specific and scientific reasons
@@alinka9884 personally I am an engineer student and I have to be around or talk to men sometimes so I understand how having some sort of relationship with them is important sometimes 🤷♀️
@@Abida_mar636 oh yeah I misunderstood what you meant 😭😭😭
Yeah fully agree
@@manalIhatemath i think different gender relationships are extremely important, platonic wise especially, we can’t just close ourselves off, but that’s so cool that you’re an engineer student!
I agree with you on this. It's an unavoidable reality that men tend to develop feelings. Something I wanna mention is that I don't think we go into these friendships looking for anything romantic, but our nature takes over I guess. I've had very meaningful friendships with women in my life, but staying friends after developing feelings or after one of us starts a relationship has never worked out.
the end of a friendship because one of us gets into a relationship sounds so sad
@@c0ttage Yeah. It makes sense though. You don't want your partner to have to wonder why you talk to 'some other girl/guy' all the time.
@@isih9128I cut down all the female friends i had.Because some of them have BF and rest of them will never be my girlfriend and i was developing feelings for them. So i blocked one that was very close friend of mine and i stopped talking to rest of the casual female friends
I have plenty male friends that don’t want anything from me… and with one of them I am friends since 15 years. So if he would ever develope feelings I don’t think he will after such a long time when nothing ever happened
@@alinanymus6830 Even if there are no feelings involved, it's not safe for women to be close friends with men. Majority of SA is done by people the victim knows well. There are many things such as going on trips together etc that is safer to do with female friends than in mixed friendships. Or if you're feeling unwell in public, a female friend can take you to the women's bathroom. Same for men who has a male friend who is unwell.
The perspectives you touched on where very insightful and I guess refreshing as well. I love how all the points you made all linked back to our human nature, at the end of the day, we cannot deny biology and human psychology, their consequences affect all of us. It is comforting to know that the Islamic provisions on this issue, which are consistent with our human nature, are there to protect us.
So human psychology says that there are no gays, lesbians, bisexuals, asexuals or aromantics? Thanks for erasing our existence mate!
Every time I watch ur vids/podcasts I laugh so many times that I go to like the vid only to realize that I already liked 😂❤
Im living for your sarcasm!!😭😭😭masha-Allah sister i love your videos, pls keep making them❤️❤️❤️
I agree but this topic fucking breaks my heart every time it comes up. I miss people I thought were my friends. It always feels like my friendship is not valuable enough on its own and they need something more from me that I never wanted from them
Men and women can be friends.
I know plenty people that have friends from both genders. My best friend is male whilst I’m female. I tested if he was only my friend bc he liked me or my body and he really just likes me as a friend. We never did anything sexual nor sensual. We still hang out and watch movies or cook or idk just stuff you do with friends. I also got new make friends last year and they also just see me as a friend. With one of them I went on a date bc I liked him (before we were friends) but he didn’t like me back and my feelings for him weren’t that strong to begin with and they disappeared shortly after.
What would bisexual people do? Can’t they have any friends since they could like any gender? That’s such a fucked up thing.
Y’all are missing out on some wonderful friendships. And trust me as a female you KNOW when a guy likes you in that way bc guys are fucking bad in hiding their feelings, especially when it comes to body language. So you just have to be smart to see who’s your friend and who not.
I feel this is more in the perspective of people who are religious. Obviously not everyone is going to agree with everything, but I agree with her stance on this (Besides, some things people do aren't going to match with Muslim/Christian/Jewish,etc values. Keeping that in mind we try to be mindful of how we interact with others in general).
We muslims don’t have close friendships with opposite sex, there’s no reason for us to have friendship with opposite sex cause we believe this kind of relationship is false from the start and will eventually turn to something else and that both men and women have some desires in a relationship, for example two guys that are friends don’t usually need emotional support and these stuff but women do and yes women are emotional, mothers are emotional, that’s how they work, that’s how the hormones in our bodies make us react so if a man and a woman were to be friends their desires might tend this relationship to become something else and that’s why it’s forbidden 🚫
@@gltme2403 That fully depends on the person. I know men that are way more emotional than some women. Also saying that men don’t need emotional support is so damaging and sad. Most suicides that happen are men. Why? Bc people like you cause them to keep their emotions to themselves and not open up to their friends, especially male friends. So it is even better when they have female friends who listen to them or give them another view on things.
If the friendship turns into something more that’s on you and the other person. As I said I have plenty male friends since YEARS like I’m talking 10-15 years of friendship… none of us would get feelings or if we would we would keep it to ourselves in order to not destroy the friendship.
Of course there has been many times when friends became a couple but tbh most times they likes each other to begin with…
Religion really indoctrinates your way of thinking
if you’re even mildly attractive men are extremely hard to just be friends with. i was naive once and thought the same as you but i’ve had so many instances of thinking a guy was my friend and then he tests the waters. maybe not actually liking me on a deeper level but wanting to know if he could get lucky. it has happened numerous times and i’m only 23…. gay guys are the only men i can be friends with🤷🏾♀️. only way to ensure there’s no attraction. also the bisexual thing doesn’t apply either because if we’re real women just operate differently even if we do experience attraction to other women, sexualizing others isn’t so ingrained in us unlike for men where sexualization of women is sooo common and enabled from viewing porn to cheating to assigning a woman’s value to her attractiveness…
That just means you're not attractive enough.
Exactly! In the past, when I was friends with men, I ALWAYS developed feelings for them after a while. I thought there was something wrong with me. When I realized this, I stopped making friends with men. It's nice to see that I wasn't the only one who felt this way, and it's normal .
Girl you have a magic power of saying stuff how it is, so blunt but it’s so hilarious I’m laughing out loud 😂
Maybe the real question is what does frienship mean, and what should it bring? Meaningful discussion over deep topics, opening your mind to other way of thinking, having someone you can trust and rely on, not being judged. Exchange about philosophy and share a drink, without having romantic relations, I do think it is absolutely possible. When you are interested in a mind and a personnality, the gender doesn't matter and you can get over the attraction if there is one there. If by fear of attraction you simply pass on beautiful exchanged and relations, that's juste a waste and it is sad 🤔
Well, from the goals that you listed, I’d say that discussing philosophy or politics can be platonic between men and women and won’t lead to attraction… probably 🤔 unless you find their philosophy so beautiful that you fall in love with their persona because of it? 😅
But developing trust and relying on them is definitely something that would lead to a bond that should be pretty much reserved for family (marriage or your family of origin). That’s just not a kind of bond that you could ever easily let go of. And friends are not bound to you by any social or legal contract, so they’re free to leave at any time, meaning that the bond would have to break. So, it’s smart to either (1) bind your friends with a social contract, or (2) reserve the bond for people who you’re bound with by social contract. And if you do (1), it’s basically a marriage, lol, and you end up at (2).
Speaking from experience, do NOT date men that have close female friends. Start sprinting and don’t look back.
Real
lesbian friends??
My boyfriend is this guy. It would bother me more except that he has a very low to no sex drive so I actually think he is able to be friends with woman. But now that we are together he rarely talks to them anymore. Sometimes a quick catch up and I'm always invited. Asexual men are a little bit different. He has sex with me if I want to but otherwise he never initiates.
@@whatrtheoddsno offence but if your husband is not showing sexual interest around you, it may be that he is sleeping around with his female "friends". Happens more than you think.
@@susanna9831 no chance. His female friends are childhood friends and they don't live in our state. They do come here for work but it's rare. So assuming he is sleeping with them he would still be waiting months. He gets off on attention not sex.
settling down for the show of the world, buckle up everybody for the roasting 🥷🏻
Mhmm!
Evveeettt!!!
As a guy, my perspective is: there are a few factors that make friendship between men and women more difficult, but by no means impossible.
The strongest is: (for whatever reason) male friendships tend to be less vulnerable - so an intersex friendship is naturally more vulnerable than usual for the guy, making it likelier he catches feelings for how safe he feels. This is by no means necessary, I definitely learned to be more vulnerable in all friendships, and to notice where boundaries are with male or female friends, and how they are different (also in communication) with a partner.
Then: having caught feelings, this should be communicated. That act of communication is a natural stressor in any relationship. Especially since guys tend to be worse at actually opening up about their feelings and processing them. For example, you would think that a guy, upon learning that his female friend isn't interested, would just lose interest in pursuing a relationship - purely out of self-respect. It often seems like that kind of respect for their own emotions is rare in guys.. but not impossible.
Finally: Islam is internally consistent, and aims to protect individuals even from conflict of interest. But what worries me is the idea that not even homosexual men and women, or even asexual people are allowed relationships with the other gender - i.e., where no conflict of interest exists. Indeed, LGBTQ seem to be reserved a life of suffering to fit into Qu'ran. In these points this beautiful religion appears too dogmatic. Of course, Islam does not force itself onto people, so it is their choice. It also worries me, to a lesser extent, that men and women do not get to explore the aspects of mixed gender friendships for apparent fear of emotional hurt. We all grow, it's normal.
I just want to make a point on my end as a guy in a friendship with a girl for a while. I will admit I have felt attraction but it’s faded away over time and now it’s just platonic for me. When she got into a relationship I was happy for her and we’ve consistently been talking for a while
I spent my teenage years believing it’s possible, had a number of guy friends that ALL, eventually, wanted something more.
It’s impossible to be “just friends”, there will always be other feelings lurking around.
The question should be can you be friends with someone you like romantically or find attractive that you would consider being in a relationship with them? Hell no lol duh… doesn’t matter the sex since there are lgbtq people. Can a gay man just be friends with another guy or can a bisexual person only be friends with both sexes? We don’t exist to solely reproduce anymore and if a person can’t think past that and form platonic relationships with people that’s on them…. They’ll miss out on getting to know really cool people.
Also, ask yourself what is a friend to you? for me personally, yes I can be friends with a guy. Can a guy be friends with me? Idk but that’s an issue with the male population. They tend to only value something if it benefits them. For example, befriending a girl because deep down they want to sleep with her or be more. I value my platonic friendships and good connections a lot. A friend is just someone I talk to, share my interests/ideas with, and support their endeavors. It’s all about what you value. This why women have a lot of friends and better social life when they get older and a lot of elderly men are lonely by that age cuz they don’t know how to maintain relationships.
I appreciate this comment a lot! I too was thinking of lgbtq people, myself included as I am biromantic. Perhaps I see things differently since I am on the asexual spectrum and don't view things on the same level. What do they say if you are bisexual? That you should not be friends with anyone? I think through our conditioning there is a barrier preventing men and women from feeling friendly with one another without it getting romanticized/sexualized. There is also an obvious depleted perception of friendship and how important platonic relationships are, likely from how glamorized and crucial media has created romantic relationships to be.
You’re right, but there are men out there that are good friends and not only your friends bc they wanna get with you in the future. I have male friends and I know for sure they don’t want anything from me or if they want, they would still never act on that desire bc they value the friendship over sex. It all comes down to what their values are and how good they can control themselves.
@@kaydekuja You put it into words better than I could. lol. I love this. You make a really good point about there being a barrier. I think that people who live life in a heteronormative view cant seem to get past it. And that's why people are always having this debate can men and women be friends.
I'm a girl who had a lot of male friends in social media and most of them either they wanna have a relationship instantly (like after a week of talking) or you gonna be friends at first and after months they start to tell me i feel comfortable with you and i know what this means it's always ending up asking for a relationship so i stopped talking to guys the problem is i wanna learn a language and i feel that guys are better at communicating like they ask about a lot of stuff so the conversation keeps going but i hope i can do it alone
males and females are equally smart. try finding a girl thats a language freak, it gets ridda any possibilities. and maybe ull find a lifelong friend 🌸💞
@@Sabrina-in8iw I will try thank youu💌
@@princess_zulica it's kinda hard I'm not good at keeping friends but I will
It's not safe for women to be close friends with men. Majority of SA is done by people the victim knows well. There are many things such as going on trips together etc that is safer to do with female friends than in mixed friendships. Or if you're feeling unwell in public, a female friend can take you to the women's bathroom. Same for men who has a male friend who is unwell.
@@house0084 keep trying love.
No, they can't be friends but acquaintances just acquaintances like yes we know each other but we'll never talk about anything else unless its work/college related, there must be limits in the relationship. Don't even go talk to them if there are females out there, like don't speak to them unless you have to because you don't have other options.
Men and women can definitely be friends - that is a fact. Not every man and every woman, but I definitely have platonic friendships with men and my husband has platonic female friends. One of my male friends was in my bridal party - my husband and I are both friends with him and hang out with him separately and together. We play video games, go out for dinner, watch movies, hang out at taco parties...absolutely no romantic feelings whatsoever!
The thing is that may be true on your end but you don't know what the other party would do given an opportunity. You might end up surprised like the women in the video. If not, you are a very rare case that we can't generalize with.
If you were single, he would definitely cross the line. However, he respects your husband; therefore, he would not allow himself to have feelings for you. But trust me if you were single, he would have feelings for you
I finally announce I quit music inspired by Farah❤️ I've been thinking about quitting music for a long time and listening to her podcast helped me a lot
What, why? It's a gift when you can do music.
Anyway, how is this related to this video?
@@somewhereright3160 music is haram.
@@somewhereright3160 It's nothing related to this video. Since I was watching this last night I wanted to deliver my impression about her quitting music content. Yes for people it's a gift, but I've been dealing with difficulties to be more focused because of music addiction. And Farah shared it in the pov of Islam
@@amirahx Really? Why??
Mashallah!! Please make dua for my journey to do the same.
A guy once told me , why would a guy “put up” with a woman If he wasn’t interested in her”😢
You inspired me abt avoiding music jow allah is greater and much more thx farah ...inshallah you continue helping others❤
she needs a million subscribers rightaway
What about couple friends? My boyfriend and I hang out with other couples as a group, we play games, watch movies, converse, etc. I think it’s more psychologically safe to have guy-girl friendships if you’re both in a relationship. But it would probably still be weird if you hung out one on one and got TOO close 🤔
Hi, hope you are doing fine
spending time with other couples in a group setting can potentially foster emotions between you and certain male friends you and your boyfriend associate with. Similarly, these male friends might develop feelings for you, even if you are already in a relationship. This dynamic could emerge when you and your boyfriend frequently socialize with other couples, forging strong connections and getting to know each other better. I am confident that over time, such interactions could lead to some level of emotional attachment.
Please excuse any linguistic imperfections in my explanation; English is not my primary language.
@@abderrahimbouali2745 I agree with you. Just be careful sis.
Don’t let this lady indoctrinate your thinking. I have plenty male friends I hang out with alone and nothing ever happened between us. They didn’t confess feelings, they didn’t try or joke about starting something with me, they never tried having physical contact, not even hug except for like birthdays and other occasions like this where it’s normal everyone hugs you lmao
@@alinanymus6830 but how did you assume that that they don't have feelings, if no one admits it, it doesn't mean they don't have feelings for you.
@@abderrahimbouali2745 exactly!!
Yes they can.
I understand Farahs position too.
I just kinda hate how in these conversations people always portray man as people unable to control their urges and who always have their sexual motives in the background. Are they good logical leaders or animals ?
@@rosiegomez9489this is just our religion bruh
Sister Farah spitting facts, I agree 100% with everything you brought up. I‘m currently in a situation where I feel attracted to my co-worker. We both work as teachers and share a great team chemistry, what makes working with him very agreeable, to the point that I noticed that I seek his nearness (by being around him and talking to him). However, since I’m a married woman, I don’t want to get to the point in which I find my marriage endangered. Having spoken to my husband about having a crush on my co-worker lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And I had to admit to myself that I have transgressed the moment I started to look at my co-worker way too often. It’s exactly how you said: lowering the gaze is a precautionary measure. It all starts in the mind. Thoughts lead to actions. I found myself constantly thinking and daydreaming about him; thoughts that then started to develop and go in the wrong direction. This is where I wanted it to stop, not only because of my husband and the possibility of hurting myself and him, but because it would be also unjust towards my co-worker by sending off signals (whether consciously or unconsciously) that would be telling him I wanted us to be „friends“.
good topic cause I was also one of those who thought "it's possible" but I'm telling you girls, 99.9% of the time if you both got closer he'll develop feelings towards you and that's based on expereience. nothing haram for no reason! also don't say that you'll set limits, cause you really don't need their friendship. and most of the time it's going nowhere especially if it's online.
it's just, what's the point? don't waste your time.
If you're Muslim it doesn't matter if it's possible or not , it's Haram. Period. Allah knows best.
Not everything is black or white, it will make you depressed to think like this.
@@chloeanastasia8440It pretty much is that simple though. It's prohibited to be friends with the opposite sex.
💯 these people don't wanna accept Islam to be honest
exactly!! there's a lot of non muslims' comments on this video and ofc its good to see their two cents but islamically, it's haram whether or not it's 'possible'. Muslims should keep that in mind and try not to become westernised in that sense
@@chloeanastasia8440 she's speaking to muslims, so if you're not one there's no need to be offended since that ruling doesn't even apply to you.
Maybe we can make a part 2, there’s more to cover sure
It’s a very hot topic, everyone has experienced this before, maybe going into more details on how to avoid loss of purpose, flirting, when interacting with the opposite gender
Sue me... but don't sue me😂😂 Michael Scott!
What if both parties aren't attracted to each other but enjoy spending time together.
I have a friend who wears a hijab and has many male and female friends. I have male friends - not all are straight and while some have turned out to have feelings for me a few of them are just good friends and we’re not attracted to each other. Possibly it’s different for fully heterosexual people who are conventionally attractive or maybe even younger people but even as a caregiver I’ve seen beautiful platonic male and female relationships. It really depends on you and your boundaries age, and the friends that you attract and how much you have in common and the things that you can help each other with. It seems like you saw college students with under developed brains and a high sex drive the men are also most likely very misogynistic and have ulterior motives and don’t see those girls as people yet, more like a conquest
as a revert, this is the closest thing I have to a Arab mom😂
other than the Wives of the Prophet SAW wa RadiAllahuanhum of course
I’ve been watching this for the past eight minutes I’m pretty sure I was like the 4th to watch it 🎉and I immediately tap the notification😮and right now I’m in eight minutes in 😅and then there’s already so many comments 🤷♀️it really proves how great Farah is 😊
Also girl I’m so sorry but my attention span can literally barely finish this video🧍♀️😭🔫💗
'' if ure left alone ure gon do sum weird stuff'' THAT GOT ME DYINGGG ON THE FLOORRR
I disagree because having male friends without them feeling something for you is possible .. but most of the time like 99% one of both will like eachother
In 80% of the time it will be the man tbh (And I am saying that as a man)
@@cannedcan9788 true n its kinda sad because it ruins the friendship
I do truly believe in friendships of male a female since a woman has the possibility not to like a man that’s close to her same about the man but its very rare
me personally i don’t feel attracted to any of my male friends and I feel like they dont like me that way either so I’m good ig
@@k4zj I wonder if men from all cultures struggle with that though. I have Polish and Turkish heritage and I have seen fellow men of both cultures often ruin the friendship that way (Although Turkish men are often more direct, which I think is better than getting into a friendship in hopes of one day having her like you back). I live in Germany and I would say that German men often actually manage to have long lasting friendship with women, but the vast majority still screws it up most of the time sadly. I wonder if there is a culture where it works more often than not
@@cannedcan9788 yea it probably had to do a lot with how people grow up and cultures a bit
In greece we have a LOT of male and female friendships that are very close to each-other but don’t see each-other romantically
Thats why i have many male friends we are way more open about things
But also there will always be the majority who believes that men and women cant be friends
Not me watching this at 1am and laughing while everyone is sleeping 😭😭
As a person not interested in romance nor sex, I believe there is a possibility for friendship between men and women. The problem comes with interests, I am more passionate about many "manly" things while my friends are into "girly" stuff. It's way harder to meet girls interested in "manly" things so that would be one setback to women and men being friends.
Great video, thank you sister. Jazzakh Allahu Khayran 🥰
Not a Muslim or any other religion follower, but I agree with most of your points,
It’s weird that people think it’s normal ,
I mean yes, it can happen. There are platonic female/male friendships but its not normally this way.
At first i thought it can't be done.. till i tried it in my mid 20s and i said "ofc it can be done (without attraction feelings)".
Flashback to me being oblivious it's not me that being attracted
What if the man has a girlfriend/wife who he loves but in a same time has some friends who are girls? He just enjoys talking to them and think they're smart and funny
then he wants two wives.
@@SIGSEGV1337dumb answer
I just want to give you a huge round of applause!
I don't know where you live, but comparing what he's saying to what I can see now in some of the Egyptian community on social media, I am so proud of you, your dedication to educate yourself about Islam and proud of your parents who were able to bring you up the way you are.
May Allah bless you.
Yes, they can. I have multiple male friends with whom I have also talked about this topic. No, just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean you want to be in a relationship with them/sleep with them. There were periods were I was single in the friendship too and they never made a move either. I have also never felt any sexual tension/romantic attraction towards them and they feel the same way. However, I do think this is an exception and respect people's experiences and thus believes that it's not possible.
Ask those males !! they will change your answer lol
@@ourstuff5822 ? I have literally asked by guy friends this, literally as I already stated in my og comment. Also, there were periods in our friendship when I was single and they still didn't make a move.
@@ourstuff5822 off your internet :)))
lol, bullshit
@@emersoncaicedo3146 just because you think so doesn't mean it's the truth :)
I think it is possible for opposite genders to be friends. It all depends on the individuals however/ how they perceive one another and how the man perceives women in general. My brother was my best friend (he has passed away recently), and I have never had a better friend than him. Being that we were siblings, there is an obvious difference than the general man/woman friendship, but I think that it can go to show it depends on societal conditioning and how romance seems to be much more prioritized than friendship, sadly.
Yes but he was your brother. Siblings are a different category.
@@ladypinkymoe7574depends tho, my best friend is like a brother to me and I know I’m a sister to him
One time a teacher said to us "Women and man can be friends. Everybody agrees to that, right?" and most of my classmates answered positively to it even though I could see their faces saying otherwise filled with uncertainty.
I again think this as Islam beautifully eliminating trouble before some heartbreak, unneeded drama could happen. Almost similar to alcohol. It is okay to use it for health purposes and it is okay to communicate with opposite sex when there is a place, a situation but it is not okay to consume alcohol because it blurs your mind, clouds your judgement and it might not be the best thing to be friends with the opposite sex because some feelings can effect your decisions, there is always a possibility of catching feelings.
This is how I understand the situation and let me tell you never been involved in any drama thorought highschool and it is great. I still act as a therapist to my friends because of their unresolved highschool boyfriends/crushes haha
Allahumma barik. Wish these episodes were longer🥹
Oh my, by FAR my favorite episode ❤️
The male friends that I had always had some hidden intentions towards their female friends. One guy from work was a close friend until he asked me if we should try dating each other. So it’s a yes for me. Men and women can't be friends. Even platonic friendships could develop into romantic ones unless there is a boundary.
P.S. We didn’t end up together.
Even if there are no feelings involved, it's not safe for women to be close friends with men. Majority of SA is done by people the victim knows well. There are many things such as going on trips together etc that is safer to do with female friends than in mixed friendships. Or if you're feeling unwell in public, a female friend can take you to the women's bathroom. Same for men who has a male friend who is unwell.