Havilah Cunnington: The Right Person at the Right Time | Better Together TV
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2024
- This week on Better Together, Havilah Cunnington discusses how we can redefine singleness. Join the conversation as Janice Gaines, Mandisa, Dr. Robyn Wilkerson, and Melinda Doolittle join Havilah Cunnington to discuss meeting the right person at the right time.
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#bettertogether #havilahcunnington #singleness
The Lord sure knows how to provide an on time word.
FACTS!!!
YESSSSS
That is so true. When your single with no kids, the world does not see you. I'm 44, divorced with no kids and people in the church and outside the church treat me like an outcast. This is the world we live in today. It shouldn't even be like this but never will I be ashamed of where I am in my life.
And you shouldn't be. God looks at everyone equally.
True am 50 and not married, no kids . Sometimes am treated in church as if something is wrong with me
I LOOK UP TO WOMEN LIKE YOU
@@veronicaphiri7432 wow. Thank you
I’m 36 and not married. I agree with Mandisa. People will overlook simply because you’re single or just automatically assume you’re desperate or lonely. I often feel like I have to prove I have a good 😌 life especially with church ⛪️ people.
You don't have to prove anything to anyone. It's none of their business. Half of them are probably miserable anyway.
Caring what other people think never helps anyone.
It’s true church people are often the ones that judge more
Being single and never married in your 20’s is much different than in your 30’s 40’s and 50’s but I appreciate the overall perspective and encouragement ❤️
Can you explain this i just turned 35 today no kids never been married would love to hear ur take
@@stayundergodlsm3701 Sure, as someone who is over 40 who always thought she would be married with at least two children by now the effects can be devastating! But God hears my heart and is the comforter of my soul as I focus on doing His will and purpose for my life while He still holds my desires in his hands (and I still trust Him). I share my story and discuss this further on my channel. I pray it blesses you, be and STAY Encouraged! ❤️😊
Very different and same over 30 as well...
Was about to say that... I ☹. People have really had it easy yet they think they've had it hard.
@@KimontheWeb Will follow your channel 😍
Thank you Queen! I needed this today! I am 43 single, following,and trusting God in continual contentment in loving me! While waiting on God for the man He has for me🙏🏽❤
You and me both Nicole
@@FaamoanaLeilua God has a plan for us beauty!! Stay encouraged and keep knowing your worth❤
Continue trusting Him! God has amazing things planned for your life. 💜
@@BetterTogetherTV Thank you so much for your encouragement ladies!! Yes ma'am I will!! Im determined to follow God's lead in my life❤
I'm really enjoying my singleness! I'm growing closer to God, he's preparing me to be a wife, and I am building a business. Sometimes when it's so quiet in the home I remind myself to fully enjoy it because I may not have moments like these in the future. It's really beautiful. I do not feel like I am missing out. I was missing out when I didn't know the Lord and was enslaved in broken relationships...!
How long have you been alone for?
Once you've waited for a few years it gets pretty old fast.
God told me who my husband was years ago but I'm still waiting and it's getting really old.
I could easily go out and date whoever I wanted but I choose to wait on God, but it still gets boring fast. Having no one to pray with or talk to is really lame.
Make your own role in the church ! I’m 35, single and no kids. I found myself questioning where do I fit ? My church is small . Not too many around my age . I had to create my own lane . As a result, I no longer felt out of place or overlooked.
I agree, we can be trail blazers for our own paths
I'm 34 single and no kids and haven't been in a relationship for 9 yrs. Sometimes people treat being single like it's a disease. I had to learn to stop comparing myself to other people that were in relationships..especially those younger and work on my one-on-one with God. God wants you first before he shares you with somebody else. That's how i look at it. And being truly whole is essential not just in relationships but in life
@@tbrown4284 yes , we’re the bride of Christ first. Too many people skip that step.
@@slimgrande4666 great reminder
Same age- same deal. My mentality is I show up to glorify God. And I focus on that not on feeling 'different'.
I recently met this guy that I am so in love with, he's gone through a lot lately, 2 close deaths in a month. Things with us went from perfect to a lot of problems. I'm on a Daniel Fast currently and felt God say last night to take a 2 month break from this relationship. I know it's right, but at the moment it feels like a death sentence. I needed to watch this. Thank you for the good word. Havilah
Trust God sweetheart! His timing is always perfect and He knows who and when is best for you 💗 Grace and peace to you dear one!
This was lovely. However, it seems that every time I find a motivational video for singles like me, it is from a person who has now passed that phase into marriage. It would be nice to hear from someone who is over 30 (20+ is still relatively young) and still trusting God to do His thing....
I believe Mandisa fits that bill, she is probably over 30 and still.single.
And reality is, not all of us are going to be married, no matter how great a desire one may have, as cliche as it may sound, I think that focusing on your relationship with God is ideal and trusting him to give you his peace.🤷🏽♀️
@@thandomanzini i agree with you. I am glad someone said that. We are not all going to be married. 🙏🏾
🙋🏽♀️
Loved that...I’m NOT crazy for feeling like society doesn’t take me as seriously bc I don’t have a ring on my finger yet
Loved this, Havilah! I am glad that your husband is younger and not in pastoral ministry. Your story reminds me to think outside the box when it comes to God.
35 and it's so hard. I know there are women older than me, but you know this is the age where your like WHENNNN LORDDDDD. I go through cycles of trying to surrender but then I gotta admit that I want it. and then theres no godly men.
Ma there is Godly men, but when you surrender you then acknowledge that you are following God's will and in there is where you will find God's will and can follow you.
Your story and my story are mirrors. I recently as of yesterday just said I really have to trust God in this marriage situation. I was trying to do online dating for the 100th time...and it was a bust. I just deleted my profile and recognized hey I am alone and lonely but it's not going to last. I told God I will surrender to Him and I need to do just that. So now I am back focusing on myself and how I can grow. Yes I am lonely 😔 but I can acknowledge the loneliness and find some healthy way of dealing with it instead of desperately searching for a man and questioning why not me.
I know exactly how you feel....it is hard! I’m going through it right now as well!
Steffany, T Gavin and sillylillyfromphilly, would you all like to do a prayer call where we pray for one another regarding our search?
So hard sweetheart. Could be a lot of things. Yes God's timing, but I feel the timing is also dependent on how ready we are. So stay in that closet and lets seek God. Im now 38 and on the same boat. But in a great relationship finally though. Make sure u also feel worthy🤗. I think that took me a while. And what sorted me out was Joseph Prince's 'Destined to Reign'.
I'm in my 30s and celibate for 17 years. I've never had a strong pull to marriage but God told me 5 years ago marriage is apart of his perfect will for me. I'm built a great relationship with for where I am content until the promise comes. I don't need validation from man? I just want God's best for me no matter the time
I'm 52 and been single. 3 yrs ago I came to the lord. I'm on my journey getting to know and learning and having a great relationship with the lord
I'm 44 never been married and no children and this is helpful because I feel like im invisible, however it helps to say I'm not alone
The only permission or acceptance that matters, is the relationship & fellowship between you and the Lord.
Once we start waitng for people to give us permission, we cannot live powerful lives.
That was soooo GOOD I needed to hear that word!!!!
Yes
This was a powerful and timely message. Thank you!
As someone who is 34 & contentedly single; with a younger sister who is married with 3 kids- people in the family and at church often talk to me like I’m a sad unhappy person. Or like my life is not “happening” yet because I’m not married. Lol.
They couldn’t be more wrong. This message helps to put what I feel, my conviction into words.
Wow. Glad to know I’m not the only one ‘feeling small, invisible’ and love the advice ‘if you wait alwAys for the approval of people in order to live a powerful successful life you will go down the wrong path’
God is the potter and we are the clay🙏🏽nothing before his time. God knows every hair on your head,as he formed you.Let go and let God .Amen 🙏🏽🙌🏽🙏🏽
Thank you Mandisa for speaking of being unseen. Singleness is a state of existence, not until marriage, but instead of marriage. I only partially agree with Havilah's response. We don't need to wait for permission, but singless is a part of God's family and married poeple and families can serve singles just like singles can serve them. Moving the discussion to her husband and what he doesn't do it irrelevant.
What do you do when the ache for it is so hard and so strong? I turn to the Lord constantly, and sometimes I dont realize how harsh the ache is until I see a movie or something, because what can you do but try and surrender it and stuff it down. I sometimes ask God take this desire away... help. me to be content. Especially in these times of isolation, its even more so. God help us to have His presence and feel free.
I’m so thankful that this topic has come up. I’ve been single for 2 years and I’m ready to find a Godly man. It’s really hard. I’m trusting in the Lord and waiting on him. I just want to be loved again. It’s a struggle.
You are loved 🙂
Learning to love and accept yourself first.You are the love💗not someone else,they will add to your life but not complete you🙏🏽The spirit of God is the alpha and omega.Nothing more powerful than your inner spirit which continuously replenishes through your relationship with God.
I know what you mean. You arent alone.
It is even harder for those that are divorced in the church. It causes lots of awkward silences in church groups. The scarlet letter of singleness or divorce is a silent but exists.
Yeah coz the church is taught to be so judgemental against divorcees. It really has to change.
Yes, sometimes i think churches don't know.what to do with singles.
It is hard Julie .. I am with you ❤️
This was very good topic be talking on, Because some people think that singleness is a curse but it's really a blessing because God is helping us to avoid all the wolf in sheep's clothing it's plenty of them out there..But when we learned to wait on the Lord being busy about his business, and being content loving God more than anything then that's when God will bring the right one in our life, But still everything is in his timing not ours. I enjoy listening to the young lady testimony.
25 and unmarried. Waiting on Gods Plan whether its married or single life. I Thank God everyday that he didnt answer my prayer to be married at 24🙌🏾🙌🏾
Not only are we single but a lot of us don’t really have friends. The other women our age are married with kids and somehow our friendship is less valuable because we aren’t married. I feel like we need to stop addressing singles as much and start addressing marrieds on how to accept those of us who are single. I know how to be single, but do they know how to be friends with someone who life doesn’t look like theirs.
I don't think they need to be taught anything. I believe its just God showing you people's true colours. If they feel the need to leave you out for any reason then you know who you're really dealing with.
I totally agree with having a discussion in this area. In Addition the singles will also need an exposition on how to manage friendships with the married. Helping out out with their kids I believe will grow the the friendship too.
Wow! You took the words out of my mouth. Thank you!
@@MrMbobila I do have friends with kids and I do help out, I don’t think that’s it. I notice they make time to go out with other moms (without the kids) but when it comes to me, any time spent has to be with the kids around.
@@amandawalker1196 if they are only making time to hang out with you with the kids then it’s either one of 2 possibilities. Either
A) you have given them the impression that you love hanging out with them & the kids and they aren’t aware that you would like to hang out just as girlfriends sometimes. OR
B) They are totally inconsiderate of you and your friendship, which means they’re not your real friends
I’m hoping it’s the first instance where they might not know that you would like to hang out without the kids sometimes. So do let them know and see what they say. If they don’t make an effort to accommodate your request then I’m sorry to say they are not true friends,
Would love to request for longer versions of sermon on the channel . Probably the complete version. This is very instrumental 💕.
That’s true when you don’t have kids or husband you are overlooked.
“I wanted my story to have intention, and purpose, and have the hand of god on it” ❤️❤️❤️🙏
I am just going to focus on praying and getting a closer walk with God. Starting right now, that is my number 1 priority. Being the best me that God will be pleased. Help my fellow neighbor when I can.
My goodness this was powerful! When Pastor Havilah brought up the "demonic time clock" that hit me. The imaginary clock I have used based on my friends and society's time clock for women that bring so much stress and mess! Lord thank you for this!
She does say the truth. She does has a point.
The verse 1 Corinthians 7:17 (MSG) Havilah mentioned changed my life when I watched this for the first time last week. It prepared me to meet the challenges of my weekend! I am so thankful for women who are willing to share.
Praise the Lord! We are so happy to hear how he used this clip to plant a seed in your heart that helped you into the weekend! We pray that God will bless you! 💜
@Havilah.. Could you please provide clarity on what you meant by you don’t hug or kiss your husband? What do you mean by keeping it clean in your marriage? Thank you for your response.
Right I was sooo confused by that lol like was that a joke? ahha
Whoever reading this, I pray that God visits your home today with Healings, Blessings, and Miracles.Time is still the bestanswer. Forgiveness is still the best pain killer and God is still the best healer. Amen.💕 Amen.💕
When she said your life can change in a minute!!🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Loved the encouragement in this message! Just what I needed to hear. Praying for every single woman who's content and contending. I'm right there with you !🙏❤
6:47 - "Jesus, Hosanna in the highest, (and the next moment) Give us Barrabus" - That. is brilliant.
I think many woman have difficulties to voice their feelings on this matter! My last relationship was 10years ago and left me as a "single mother". Then I though : I will never love again, I will become a nun and dedicate my life to God, I will never love a man this way again etc....... Now, I will be 34 soon and am still a single mother but with a healthier spiritual life with healthier goals and ambitions. It is true that the feeling of being single can be tough sometimes. I reached a point where, I would chuckle whenever I saw encouraging messages for single people online... but now I just don't know what to do or think anymore.... should I keep on looking for the one ? Will I ever be married ? Will I be satisfied once I get married ? Will I be happier ?.... no matter what, I trust in GOD for I know that His plans are to prosper me. So it's all good (even when I don't feel like that) I know that my GOD is a "man" of his word! Always encouraged 🔥
I love Havillah so much. God bless her 🙏
So blessed by this!
Today's message really touched my heart. Thank you Jesus for i know am not alone 🙏
I am enjoying these videos. I can relate to every topic. Thank you for sharing!
What are you waiting for'? Be intentional, there's ways and means of meeting the opposite sex..soak everything in prayer and don't live in regret. God is a matchmaker and created us to be in union for the most part. Too many sisters disappointed..I don't believe that's God's will ❤💕🙏🙏
Little Lala, I absolutely agree. I don’t believe that extended singleness is God’s will. Would you like to join a prayer call to pray for single women in waiting?
Yeah
I also think the journey of being a single white women and a single black women in the church is very different.
How so?
Yup 😫
It’s such a difference
💕💕💕💖 I needed every word spoken in this. I've been waiting and doing y best to be content and it's a challenge, but I give all the credit to my success in waiting to JESUS.
SO THANKS FOR THE GREAT ADVICE/ PERSONAL STORY AND WISDOM IN GOD'S WORD ❤️💐
I’m 57.5 - saved since I was 25 and still waiting for my husband. I don’t think it’s timing at all, I believe it’s some error somewhere. Probably me, but somehow it’s messed my life up.
We all make mistakes but one thing remains true, even in our mistakes, God is still faithful. He can redeem the time you may have lost and bring meaning out of your "mess". You are beautiful sis, no matter what.
@@susan8576 Amen
Jeni, would you like to join a prayer call where we pray regarding your situation?
I agree with you. Reading Joseph Prince's book 'Destined to Reign' really shifted things for me in this regard...I suspect u're that old fashioned Christian like me seeing as u were saved a long time ago. We have some errorneous beliefs
Well said Havilah! Girl speak :)
This conversation is so on point! Thank you so much Havilah, you touched on so many important things here 🙏🏾
"once you require people's permission to live life, you would not live powerfully "
So gooood ladies. That was soooo good
We are so happy to hear that you enjoyed this clip! Thanks for watching! 💜
Wow , This such true statement but this applied to everything in life
Gotta exercise dominion. That power will cause it to inspire at the right season
Powerful word of advice especially at the end
Thanks for a profound words 🙏 🙌
This is so good. Thank you ladies.
Havilah I love your honesty....
Am going to be 40 and never married no kids but been through relationships where no one was ready to get married but I was that girl who thought I’ll marry the first guy i fall in love with. But they have been all losers.
I love these honest conversations, thank you 🙏🏽
I used to pray about every man that I encounter to know whether he was the one for me or not, but never got a response. Then earlier this year, I prayed for a spouse and I received a dream letting me know that I wasn't ready to marry and now I'm waiting on God to bless me with a husband one day because I know that dream came from him.
Soo true love that.
I need to see the whole episode!! How can I find it?? This is soo timely!
Love love LOVE this!!
POWERFUL WORDS
Wow! This is so good🙌🏾
If only I would of listen yes I still married but my my contentment and contending my God difference
Was blessed by this
This is powerful
Above all singleness is not a problem than the issue of spending u're life with the wrong person
Amen, I love this ❤
Live u're life with contentment no matte r what's not fill in u're life😉
Sooo good!
Wow, this was good!
that was so good.
'that demonic timeline' that was deep
Great advice!👍👏💪😇🙏
27...? That is great! But I am 30... Why 27 is a big deal? Honestly...
This was a word!
Amen
Amen!
Thankful for my singular life at the age 67 years of age 🙏 I accepted graciously God grace is sufficient enough for my singular realm of life with peacefulness tranquility serenity and calmness gift 🎁 from God threw his son Jesus Christ 😊 and ever lasting love always ❤ This realm of life was God divine ❤ love purpose for me and this is how I keep my joy Faithfully in God realm of grace.💙 We as women all have a beautiful purpose for God Kingdom Amen 🙏 Haleuia 🙌
both parties need to be in agreement to pass the bill and give the people second stimulus check for all they have been through,, millions of Americans who found themselves without a job ,, can have a very merry Christmas ]]
Wow. Okay, Lord.😩🙌🏽
I agree Mandisa no one at my church is seeing. Is God hiding me.
The crowd will always be wrong about you.💯
🙌🏾
I live for God
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Omg I feel soo awkward about marrying a man who is younger for me.. 🙈
Married at 27? That’s like the new married at 19 🤦🏽♀️ I may be wrong but I have this scary feeling that there are no Christian men left on earth, because even the ones that say they are, live exactly like the ones that aren’t.
I believe we wont always meet a man in the church
Be in control
Have intention with God's hand
Contentment vs Contend
1 Corinthians 7:17
Love where you are
Relax in the will of God
Give up the time clock
Where you should be?
It happens at all phases in our life
Be content with God in your life
We may feel unseen
Jesus completes me
We may feel overlooked
Live a whole life but others may hold you back with their limited beliefs
Don't wait for their permission or validation
You are powerful
The crowd will be wrong
They say Hosanna then crucify you
No good black men