This is a tough….because my mom raised me to be the man that she wanted men to be for her….. .that destroyed my relationships..I became the nice guy and a people pleaser…it’s tough..but therapy is helping.
That's IF the mothers or some of these women out here let them ...a lot of women reject wisdom and don't respect the guidance and provision of a man and allow their sons to suffer in the process of their own ignorance and defiance of male authority smh
Black men need their uncles, etc if the farther figure is not around ..same as daughters need mother figures like Aunties, etc since it takes a community to raise a healthy adult who can provide for themselves and be an upstanding citizen to their community and society if they choose that route. Plus its beautiful seeing families or extended families (blood or not) raise and groom children in a healthy, safe n nurturing environment.
I agree. However that destructive BW influence is most often times counterproductive. My wife's nephew has a single mom. And I wanted to mentor him. But I saw way to many red flags prior. And respectfully backed away.
@@tumweonlycommentary2797 it's STILL hard being an uncle. Prime example, every time I try to teach my little nephew masculine frame and the fundamentals of being a young man,such as chores , earning his games and what he like to do by being responsible and doing chores she blocks it. He's 8 and she still treat him like a baby,picking him up ,holding him , coddling him smh...she won't even let him do boy or male bonding activities such as playing sports or anything that has to do with adversity, he barely can tie his shoe ,can't ride a bike, he can't talk in complete sentences and he relatively still acts like a 3 year old smh..I only see him every few months so when he do be around me learning things bout time I see him again he done regressed back to how he was before smh ..she don't give him one on one time and when u try to teach him right she gets offended and thinks u judging her child ..he gone be messed up as he gets older..I see it..she treats him docile as hell and I don't see any good from it..he's delayed because of her ..he's an 8 year old that acts like he 3...all because of HER smh
The toxic mother is a subject matter that's not spoken about the most. They make mothers sacred so they're beyond reproach and that can be quite a destructive force. We have too much of a matriarchy in a world full of patriarchies regardless if you like either or one is more successful than another. I just say that the same men are important Fathers are important but somebody told a lot of black women that they're not even when they're around
Because that will lead to accountability for men and their mother wound; it’s NOT to protect a woman. Women aren’t protected. Black women indefinitely.
I have seen a lot of mothers laughing and thinking that it's cute when their son acts like he's their jealous boyfriend.. I have seen mother's let their son's clown and disrespect the man who the mother is dating.. I have seen mother's lose good men, because of their son's but the mothers allow it😮😮😮
The first one, I can't tell you how many times I've witnessed that. The son demanding his mom to move when HE'S ready to go. MOM: Let me go ya'll, my BF/Husband is ready to go". SMH
As much as people are asking wheeree is the father . Where is the extended family...where are the uncles, the grandfather etc the men who will step up if the farther figure is not around? and groom the child to be a healthy adult who makes sound decisions and knows how to treat others with respect since the community raised him to be a great man in society same as the mothers sisters etc ...to groom the daughter to be healthy sane woman who makes sound decisions and knows when to to remove herself from uncomfortable situations and treat others respect as she was shown in her community that raised her..
There may not be much extended family. In my case, I didn’t know my father‘s family at all, and my mother was an only child so no uncles, aunts, or cousins on her side. Her father, my grandfather, was a positive influence but he died when I was 13.
@@essbee1641 Well your situation was a rare case. Hopefully it didn't adversely affect you too much. But many of these women have some close male in their family or some man they know that is a good man. There is not a boy in my close family who doesn't have a close respectable male figure. And if I have a cousin that I know but not as close with and they came to me and asked me to mentor their son or talk with their daughters, I would do it. I would do it for women I grew up with. Also, there are civic organizations led by men that mentor boys. So, if a woman is in an unfortunate position where she is raising kid(s) by herself, she doesn't have to be in a relationship to get that kid(s) some mentorship from a respectable man; and that' s especially important for a boy.
While what Tripp was saying about mothers doesn't fully apply to me, he's completely right. With my father passing away, I missed that male dominance to keep me in check. I opposed authority because nobody could tell me nothing
Soon as Tripp heard “A Man is supposed to be there”, sh*t got real😀! He’s absolutely right tho! We can point out toxicity anywhere else except when it comes to a woman! It hasn’t helped the family!
It also speaks to the fact that the mothers are suffering from the emotional devoid of not having a husband to the point they begin to overcompensate by getting what she needs from the Son at the cost of his underdeveloped
Thank you, Tripp, for speaking on this. I am currently preparing videos and a workshop for this very topic. My experience has me speaking up and out about this because it needs to be talked about more!
I saw a TikTok where the mother called the police on her husband because he and their 20yo son had gotten into it for whatever reason! And the women were responding with “that’s right, protect yo baby”! It’s like she was protecting her “side piece” from her husband by calling the Police! THE POLICE on her husband!
Thats wild!!!mom need to shut up and go in other room..while dad take care of the son how he wanna take care of him..its only enough room for 1 king in the castle..
.....are you missing the part where she is protecting her SON? You're demonstrating how many guys think they are above everyone. She was just supposed to allow her son to be abused. Same dudes will complain that she didn't protect him from his father when he kicks the kids ass. LOST you dudes are.
Yup the curtain with some situations doesn't get fully reviled right then , itll slowly rise and she'll attempt to waste your potential if you allow it. Love from A far. Honor from a Far.
A lot of women do not take accountability / responsibility for the man child they have raised... They blame the father for not being there ok that's fine BUT YOU WERE THERE THIS YOUR MAKING!!!.. At a certain age i just dnt believe the boy needs to be with the mother.. let the father do his job if hes there... A father cant be a father thru the lens of Morherhood... They are 2 different things totally
It's taken my brother 29 years to open his eyes to the fact that our mother isn't a good wife or good person. Now all the clashes I had with her are starting to make sense.
My mom always have gotten in the back seat… but then again my mom dad was in her life and she’s been married to my dad since 23. I’m the only son with two younger sisters, my mom and both sisters always fixed my plate with out hesitation until I got married, now my wife does it but at first she didn’t when we dated and my sisters told me to get rid of her, but she started doing it after that and never complained. I’ve been blessed to have been raised around real women good women, both my grandma’s were good women as well.
@@Zariah511yeah cuz I don’t make my brothers plate. I do make my grandmas plate. I feel as an adult you should make your own plate and not relying on a woman (every now & then it’s okay for you/her to make each other plates).
This is the truth. This is how my sister-in-law behaves. Because of her hatefulness, my parents and I don’t have a good relationship with my brother anymore. He let her manipulate him. My husband knows how I feel about family, so I love when he calls his mom to check on her. I could never destroy their bond.
I agree but it becomes choosing when a guy prioritizes his mother over his WIFE. At some point mommy isn’t/shouldn’t be the first person you drop everything and run to unless it’s a serious situation. A lot of men don’t even know when the women in their family is controlling and purposely making the man choose either!
Glad my mother wasn’t blinded by the worlds bs and she kept me in the exact space I was supposed to be in. All these so called sisters aren’t confused with this task but a lot of them don’t care enough to do really right by their sons. I gathered this from being incarcerated and listening to the same story basically from these young men that have ended up on the wrong side of the tracks. Basically the mothers that try and spoil them and knowingly keep any strong male figures out and their lives. Hearing these young males talk about an adult that actually knows better but chose not to even attempt to give him what he needed cause you wanted the relationship to be something it shouldn’t be. Anytime you knowingly fail in situations repeatedly the you have clear examples of all around you, you have excepted failure and defeat.. for whatever reason.. this being one not conducive for raising a boy to a man. You can’t put your children off on a baby sister cause you still wanna play girls night out all the time or go on that yearly girls trip , just cause you feel like you deserve it cause if you’re around a bunch of females that are misguiding their own children, that won’t help you and only will keep your subpar energy, where it’s at. We have to do better as a people but one would think.. how can we when we don’t really even know who we are.
Agreed that anytime adults make adults of children, it's unhealthy. It hurts to here Brothas feel this way. Sometimes, Mom/Son relationships are unhealthy; maybe those mom's aren't balanced and projecting things on their children. Horrible. Therapy, forgiveness and love will hopefully heal them from these experience. They both need healing. I believe the, 'who gets the front seat,' is respect to the elder and not a from romanticized place. I struggle with some other parts. This topic reads personal to me. Maybe he witnessed it in his family or it's his experience. Tripp's reaction to, "because there was suppose to be a man there?' He says, 'I ain't gone say suppose to, but you ain't suppose to be doing it.' He strays from giving the absent dad the responsibility of being the savior. Then, almost gives him a pass by save, 'Mom's may be crazy,' or 'wild as f,' Dad left; at least she stayed, and did what mothers do which is nurture, comfort, and connect intimately (emotionally). Perhaps, in some cases boys play savior because Dad's not there and boy/men are inherently raised to protect. It's like the daughter that cooks and cleans when mom has three jobs. That's why both parents are needed; we need that balance as children.
I’m a keep it a Bean i had to play savior to my mama due to her having MS and becoming Bed ridden , I did play hero and i did sacrifice and I’d do it again and again and again and still Be HIM , i understand the context is different. but as the Product of a two parent household that was raised to be a titan by my father and to know peace through my mother that’s time when you simply have to put Family First especially if you’re not married to the person in question . Just my 2 pennies to throw on the dollar . Maybe this just touched me different because i just lost my mama recently . But that was and is unconditional love and id bet on that over conditional love any day . Bless
For me it was different. My pops died from a drug overdose at 14.. his brothers abandoned me so there weren’t any men left to raise me.. all I had was my mom
This is why I always say that the first responsibility any woman has to their child is to ensure they choose a loving and present father. Growing up my mom was always my dad's wife first and our mother second.
My mom called me "the man of the house", no father and no father figure. I challenged my mom. Yep, This is fact, and it is very unhealthy. It ruined alot of my life and my relationships. Im 43 years old and I realize that alot of the things that I sacrificed and did during my teenage and adult years weren't my responsibility even though it was made to feel that way. Even taking care of my mom duting her last days wasn't supposed to be my responsibility, it was supposed to be the men that she married responsibility.
Mother Son worship is apart of ancient pagan history, religion and in our present urban culture today. Patriarchy supposedly is opposed to this idea and religion but business and politics show us otherwise!
I’ve learned through counseling that MOST Black boys/men have to come to a point in their lives and ask themselves “why wasn’t my father REALLY there?”. When you find that answer, 9/10 it was because your MOTHER demonized him and fed you HER story. He wanted/wants to be in your life bro, it’s unfortunate that the courts and law enforcement always sides with the mother.
Stop giving grown ahhh men excuses. If he REALLY wanted to see his offspring, NOTHING AND NOBODY would be able to stop him. He didn't want to bad enough
@@IAMGROOT4EVA I must say that this was the case with my son’s father. He still tries to blame it on me and my son is 21. I didn’t bad mouth him to my son when he was growing up but his guilt has led him to believe that is the case.
@@IAMGROOT4EVAthis is disingenuous on some level. Not every mother is a willing participant is helping the father maintain a relationship with their child. Let’s not act like some people don’t purposefully make it impossible for them to see their kids. The court system especially is typically never on a father’s side no matter the case. Let’s acknowledge both sides of that argument if we’re going to talk about not trying hard enough.
@@IAMGROOT4EVAIt's not an excuse. It's what's happening all around the country. Don't get angry because you can't blame BM for everything like you usually do
Its not just hormones when challenging his mother.... A MAN is supposed to be head of house, and who holds that position mom... mom expects to be yielded because of motherhood, but in contests for dominance their is no yield to family. You either submit while planning to leave or the conflict boils over n the kid gets removed from the house
My mom has her own toxic to her. Wanted me to be her version of what a man is, how to act, think, do, speak and i just not wired that way. Now i was a good boy with school but weak with ppl and life. I dont blame her for eventually giving up on me since im hard headed
Yikes this is for certain black men and woman who don't know there own faults. Even worse when you get in someone else's business then when your wrong, no one is going correct you. Unless you run your mouth and put all your business out there, then the title makes sense. Its still kinda of a weird title, who wants to know or go out of there way to figure out who is "pleasing" there single black mom. Why not a single black dad? No one is entitled to socials
When i was a jit. My mama always said"i aint rasing you like these other bitches", never knew what she meant till i got older. Now i see what she was saying.
I raised my sons to understand their job is to be ONE with the woman they choose to create life with and spend life with. For everything. You are not to show up for me like that. I’m mom. Not your woman. 4:32
This doesn't relate to all women. I never made my son do anything outside of be a child, teenager, high school graduate. Could never make my son act as something that wasn't intended for him to be and thats the man of the house. Lets just say some women do and some don't period.
Kevin Samuels said it before lil dr Umar Johnson. Mother wounds are a real thing that we dont address. Umar should have said it first bec thats in his "field of study". 😢 Mother's raising simp men and expect ambitious alphas to come out as a result. I'm not just a Uniform
@@cjohnson_ a momma boy is a guy who doesn't have to do anything because his mom will take care of him so he dates and marries women who will be his momma, that way he can live off her and he doesn't have to do anything but sleep with her. She takes care of him. A henpecked Guy is a guy who's mom runs his life. He stays in the middle of his relationships even breaking them up sometimes and he can only love and marry a woman she likes.. then she runs the marriage and calls the shots..
This is spot on. If a man doesn’t grow out of these, it’s not good. Everyone is a mama’s boy at first because you can’t do anything for yourself. She is literally your world. But bad women keep their sons dependent on them. The controlling mom is just diabolical and borderline weird. Go find a man.
Single moms raise some of the worst men and women and it's not talked about enough. This conversation about who rides in the front seat, wife or Mom is sickening. Why is this even a question?? I think this is more an issue with the wife tbh. I'm not putting anybody's mother in the back seat! Idgaf who you are! As a wife, it's not even a question. My mom, his mom, your mom gets the front seat. Why are y'all in competition with these old ass women over their sons? You don't put an elder in the backseat bc you wanna feel like the HBIC.
Tripp Fontaine we as a culture have more important issues than the “ Black son - Black mother “ . Focus on the layer that Black men need to MAN UP like Judge Joe Brown speaks of eloquently. Blk men need to focus on Blk men issues in the world not just this country but GLOBALLY then and only then came we become one. I thank God that I had a wonderful FATHER growing up before his death. I agree there are many levels to this issue however, FOCUS
I don’t understand why people always say “MAN UP” as if most of us had proper father figures in our lives to show us what a man is. A boy isn’t born with a formula on how to become a man. That saying sometimes doesn’t even make any sense. MAN UP. What is a man to begin with? How do we even learn.
There is validity in his opinion and I agree to a certain degree, but in this same breath we cannot excuse the actions of fathers or lack of them. I believe most young boys feel inclined to be there for their mother because they witnessed the pain their mother endured and mom is and has been the only one there. They've experienced their father call and say son I am coming to get you for the day so we can go hangout be ready at 9 a.m Sunday and here this young man is GROWN still waiting for his father to pick him up for this special father son day. Now this is not all situations, but at some point we have to hold both parties accountable mother and father for their lack of responsibility.
I think we’ve been holding absent fathers accountable for YEARS. That’s all we’ve really talked about specifically in the black community my whole life. The whataboutism in this comment is a part of the problem. So no, not in the same breath. Let’s stay on topic for once and not defer to protect feelings.
@@CrisisGS Okay so what you're saying is we should excuse the lack of fathers in the lives of children because we've been trying to hold them accountable for not being there and focus on the mothers now who have never wavered from their responsibilities and hold them accountable for the none present fathers? All because the children are growing up lacking the masculine emotional experience needed by a father who hasn't been present. It's the mothers fault for not being capable enough? Got it. That makes sense, let's hold the woman accountable for the state of young men because she couldn't convince a man to be responsible. Damn I've been looking at life all wrong, thank you for educating me.
@@d9daprogrammer you sounded ridicoulous from the moment you put words in my mouth. Thats not what i said at all and I'm not repeating myself. You have a selective way of reading clearly. Skipped right past what i said smh. everyone should be held accountable but the minute we hold a women accountable people get in their feelings and start the "what about this and that". Stay on topic..You responded like a sucka fam.
@@robertcortez3526 No one should keep a father from taking care of their children. There is no way a father should be able to go to sleep at night not knowing if their child is eating or even speaking to said children. If the woman wants to prove something let her, but don't let that keep us as men from actually being there for our children, show up to pta meetings, get them a tablet or cellphone so you can read to them and speak to them, show some kind of effort for the children. F the women and their agenda, don't ever let them keep you as a father from being there for your children. That's whats missing, this out of site out of mind generation of men with the excuse of the mother is weak.
Most times they want to get their sons but the woman is holding them hostage for child support payments and being petty to the point where she gets the law involved to where you can’t see your kid so technically some black men are a victim to the child court system
This is a tough….because my mom raised me to be the man that she wanted men to be for her….. .that destroyed my relationships..I became the nice guy and a people pleaser…it’s tough..but therapy is helping.
I HIGHLY suggest reading the book ‘No More Mr. Nice Guy’ by Dr. Glover
@@GMacII done i’m gonna order it now, thank you
Great book recommendation.
@@quamifilms No problem bro. YOU got this!
I was the same way, shy away from conflict because my mother was the same way. I had to fight to shake that mindset and forged my own identity.
These dudes be calling their mother by her first name and calling their grandmothers Mom! 😱😱😱😱😱
Facts my neices and nephews grew up like that. The grandmother's take care of the children more than the mothers do these days
Facts!
My aunt wanted her kids to call her by her first name and now she wonders why they dont respect her...
@@melaninknowledge3658this is facts especially growing up in the hood I saw it a lot
My sons ages 31 and 32 calls me Moma and always has.
I think all Good black men Should mentor and show lil boys how to become productive respectful black men
That's IF the mothers or some of these women out here let them ...a lot of women reject wisdom and don't respect the guidance and provision of a man and allow their sons to suffer in the process of their own ignorance and defiance of male authority smh
Men need to be more selective on where they plant their seeds. Do they not have any self control over their body?
Black men need their uncles, etc if the farther figure is not around ..same as daughters need mother figures like Aunties, etc since it takes a community to raise a healthy adult who can provide for themselves and be an upstanding citizen to their community and society if they choose that route. Plus its beautiful seeing families or extended families (blood or not) raise and groom children in a healthy, safe n nurturing environment.
I agree. However that destructive BW influence is most often times counterproductive. My wife's nephew has a single mom. And I wanted to mentor him. But I saw way to many red flags prior. And respectfully backed away.
@@tumweonlycommentary2797 it's STILL hard being an uncle. Prime example, every time I try to teach my little nephew masculine frame and the fundamentals of being a young man,such as chores , earning his games and what he like to do by being responsible and doing chores she blocks it. He's 8 and she still treat him like a baby,picking him up ,holding him , coddling him smh...she won't even let him do boy or male bonding activities such as playing sports or anything that has to do with adversity, he barely can tie his shoe ,can't ride a bike, he can't talk in complete sentences and he relatively still acts like a 3 year old smh..I only see him every few months so when he do be around me learning things bout time I see him again he done regressed back to how he was before smh ..she don't give him one on one time and when u try to teach him right she gets offended and thinks u judging her child ..he gone be messed up as he gets older..I see it..she treats him docile as hell and I don't see any good from it..he's delayed because of her ..he's an 8 year old that acts like he 3...all because of HER smh
a powerful conversation that NEEDS to be addressed and spoken on.
The toxic mother is a subject matter that's not spoken about the most. They make mothers sacred so they're beyond reproach and that can be quite a destructive force. We have too much of a matriarchy in a world full of patriarchies regardless if you like either or one is more successful than another. I just say that the same men are important Fathers are important but somebody told a lot of black women that they're not even when they're around
🎯🎯🎯🎯
Facts
Because that will lead to accountability for men and their mother wound; it’s NOT to protect a woman. Women aren’t protected. Black women indefinitely.
💯💯
Like corey Holcomb said 😂 alot of us dont really know our moms… alot of them are horrible ppl and alot of them are alone
Black men are the violent ones tho. Lol
Some men were conditioned to believe their mother was a good woman. But that's because they never got their dad's side of the story
😂😂😂
@@A_NotesWho? the Dads that tapped out?
@@adiaj9228 exactly proving my point u assumed he tapped out and the woman was a real one
Good conversation. Many layers to unpack. Great response as well.
Alot of mothers are teaching their sons to be targets out here, sitting ducks lost in high weeds. 💯
This brother is spot on 💯💯
I have seen a lot of mothers laughing and thinking that it's cute when their son acts like he's their jealous boyfriend..
I have seen mother's let their son's clown and disrespect the man who the mother is dating..
I have seen mother's lose good men, because of their son's but the mothers allow it😮😮😮
I'm convinced those women touch their sons
The first one, I can't tell you how many times I've witnessed that. The son demanding his mom to move when HE'S ready to go.
MOM: Let me go ya'll, my BF/Husband is ready to go". SMH
I dont blame the moms for it. The men that would come in their life usually be on some bs
@@Mr.Edwards233 totally agree 💯
You was the son he was talking about huh?@@brandond1947
He's right you know. Salute to Tripp.
Don’t allow your mother or women to use you as an example for the sins of the patriarchy.
I’m glad that we can have these conversations. And we can call our issues or problems out! Especially being black… because a lot has been hush hush.
As much as people are asking wheeree is the father . Where is the extended family...where are the uncles, the grandfather etc the men who will step up if the farther figure is not around? and groom the child to be a healthy adult who makes sound decisions and knows how to treat others with respect since the community raised him to be a great man in society same as the mothers sisters etc ...to groom the daughter to be healthy sane woman who makes sound decisions and knows when to to remove herself from uncomfortable situations and treat others respect as she was shown in her community that raised her..
Some don't want uncles and grandfathers in the picture. Because they feel it challenging their authority.
There may not be much extended family. In my case, I didn’t know my father‘s family at all, and my mother was an only child so no uncles, aunts, or cousins on her side. Her father, my grandfather, was a positive influence but he died when I was 13.
@@essbee1641 Well your situation was a rare case. Hopefully it didn't adversely affect you too much. But many of these women have some close male in their family or some man they know that is a good man.
There is not a boy in my close family who doesn't have a close respectable male figure. And if I have a cousin that I know but not as close with and they came to me and asked me to mentor their son or talk with their daughters, I would do it. I would do it for women I grew up with. Also, there are civic organizations led by men that mentor boys.
So, if a woman is in an unfortunate position where she is raising kid(s) by herself, she doesn't have to be in a relationship to get that kid(s) some mentorship from a respectable man; and that' s especially important for a boy.
🎯I’m so glad I cannot relate to this. I can empathize with this. But I can’t relate. My mom did not raise a “Captain Save’um”!
While what Tripp was saying about mothers doesn't fully apply to me, he's completely right. With my father passing away, I missed that male dominance to keep me in check. I opposed authority because nobody could tell me nothing
The part where he said a man tolerating his moms behavior reminds me of the movie jumping the broom. The scene where jason stood up to his mother
Soon as Tripp heard “A Man is supposed to be there”, sh*t got real😀! He’s absolutely right tho! We can point out toxicity anywhere else except when it comes to a woman! It hasn’t helped the family!
It also speaks to the fact that the mothers are suffering from the emotional devoid of not having a husband to the point they begin to overcompensate by getting what she needs from the Son at the cost of his underdeveloped
This is the truth!
Respect and much love to this black man!💯🫶🏾🫶🏾
Excellent conversation, I could point out parts where I would debate. But all and all I love the topic and the thought invested. Good job gentlemen.
Thank you, Tripp, for speaking on this. I am currently preparing videos and a workshop for this very topic. My experience has me speaking up and out about this because it needs to be talked about more!
I saw a TikTok where the mother called the police on her husband because he and their 20yo son had gotten into it for whatever reason! And the women were responding with “that’s right, protect yo baby”! It’s like she was protecting her “side piece” from her husband by calling the Police! THE POLICE on her husband!
Thats wild!!!mom need to shut up and go in other room..while dad take care of the son how he wanna take care of him..its only enough room for 1 king in the castle..
.....are you missing the part where she is protecting her SON?
You're demonstrating how many guys think they are above everyone. She was just supposed to allow her son to be abused. Same dudes will complain that she didn't protect him from his father when he kicks the kids ass. LOST you dudes are.
This is true about about the Son-husband theorie but it also applies to some of these women also
💯 go hear your Father Side of things too don't just take your Mom word for it that "He Wasn't 💩" I'm just saying 👀
Yup the curtain with some situations doesn't get fully reviled right then , itll slowly rise and she'll attempt to waste your potential if you allow it. Love from A far. Honor from a Far.
Facts some women love to control their son lives , it’s sick tbh , I’m not controlling you so you ain’t bout to control me.
this is one of the curses of Willie L.
Yes, we all read the letter and the effects are still happening to this day.
That hoax is still lingering around?
I literally just told a woman this earlier
A lot of women do not take accountability / responsibility for the man child they have raised... They blame the father for not being there ok that's fine BUT YOU WERE THERE THIS YOUR MAKING!!!.. At a certain age i just dnt believe the boy needs to be with the mother.. let the father do his job if hes there... A father cant be a father thru the lens of Morherhood... They are 2 different things totally
THIS ONE REQUIRES AND GREAT DEAL OF SELF RELECTION
It's taken my brother 29 years to open his eyes to the fact that our mother isn't a good wife or good person. Now all the clashes I had with her are starting to make sense.
I’m the black sheep because I called my mother out on her bs.
I’m 42 in the same boat your not alone.
My mom always have gotten in the back seat… but then again my mom dad was in her life and she’s been married to my dad since 23. I’m the only son with two younger sisters, my mom and both sisters always fixed my plate with out hesitation until I got married, now my wife does it but at first she didn’t when we dated and my sisters told me to get rid of her, but she started doing it after that and never complained. I’ve been blessed to have been raised around real women good women, both my grandma’s were good women as well.
Idk…them telling you to leave her alone because she didn’t make your plate is a red flag sorry 😅
@@Zariah511yeah cuz I don’t make my brothers plate. I do make my grandmas plate. I feel as an adult you should make your own plate and not relying on a woman (every now & then it’s okay for you/her to make each other plates).
He is right.
Read "No more Mr Nice Guy" . It's interesting how several angles are leading to the same observation.
Theirs a fine line because some women just dont won't you to have love for your mother at all let alone choosing between the two
This is the truth. This is how my sister-in-law behaves. Because of her hatefulness, my parents and I don’t have a good relationship with my brother anymore. He let her manipulate him. My husband knows how I feel about family, so I love when he calls his mom to check on her. I could never destroy their bond.
I agree but it becomes choosing when a guy prioritizes his mother over his WIFE. At some point mommy isn’t/shouldn’t be the first person you drop everything and run to unless it’s a serious situation. A lot of men don’t even know when the women in their family is controlling and purposely making the man choose either!
He articulated it very well
Glad my mother wasn’t blinded by the worlds bs and she kept me in the exact space I was supposed to be in. All these so called sisters aren’t confused with this task but a lot of them don’t care enough to do really right by their sons. I gathered this from being incarcerated and listening to the same story basically from these young men that have ended up on the wrong side of the tracks. Basically the mothers that try and spoil them and knowingly keep any strong male figures out and their lives. Hearing these young males talk about an adult that actually knows better but chose not to even attempt to give him what he needed cause you wanted the relationship to be something it shouldn’t be. Anytime you knowingly fail in situations repeatedly the you have clear examples of all around you, you have excepted failure and defeat.. for whatever reason.. this being one not conducive for raising a boy to a man. You can’t put your children off on a baby sister cause you still wanna play girls night out all the time or go on that yearly girls trip , just cause you feel like you deserve it cause if you’re around a bunch of females that are misguiding their own children, that won’t help you and only will keep your subpar energy, where it’s at. We have to do better as a people but one would think.. how can we when we don’t really even know who we are.
Thank you a man speaking on this subject
I think it’s just about respecting your mother. You can still have that regardless having a wife, girlfriend or not.
Agreed that anytime adults make adults of children, it's unhealthy. It hurts to here Brothas feel this way. Sometimes, Mom/Son relationships are unhealthy; maybe those mom's aren't balanced and projecting things on their children. Horrible. Therapy, forgiveness and love will hopefully heal them from these experience. They both need healing. I believe the, 'who gets the front seat,' is respect to the elder and not a from romanticized place. I struggle with some other parts. This topic reads personal to me. Maybe he witnessed it in his family or it's his experience. Tripp's reaction to, "because there was suppose to be a man there?' He says, 'I ain't gone say suppose to, but you ain't suppose to be doing it.' He strays from giving the absent dad the responsibility of being the savior. Then, almost gives him a pass by save, 'Mom's may be crazy,' or 'wild as f,' Dad left; at least she stayed, and did what mothers do which is nurture, comfort, and connect intimately (emotionally). Perhaps, in some cases boys play savior because Dad's not there and boy/men are inherently raised to protect. It's like the daughter that cooks and cleans when mom has three jobs. That's why both parents are needed; we need that balance as children.
I’m a keep it a Bean i had to play savior to my mama due to her having MS and becoming Bed ridden , I did play hero and i did sacrifice and I’d do it again and again and again and still Be HIM , i understand the context is different. but as the Product of a two parent household that was raised to be a titan by my father and to know peace through my mother that’s time when you simply have to put Family First especially if you’re not married to the person in question . Just my 2 pennies to throw on the dollar . Maybe this just touched me different because i just lost my mama recently . But that was and is unconditional love and id bet on that over conditional love any day . Bless
First time seeing this dude, and he speaking some cold stuff that blacks need to hear.
It's challenging to date/marry a man who is THE BEST man his mother has ever had. Mom's not giving that up.
Damn
This Katt has a lotta wisdom!!!
I didn’t have a mom who taught me “be careful, because some of these women are crazy!” Instead she taught me women don’t do no wrong!
🔥🔥🔥🔥
This discussion!
For me it was different. My pops died from a drug overdose at 14.. his brothers abandoned me so there weren’t any men left to raise me.. all I had was my mom
A GREAT FATHER FOR TODAY'S GENERATION OF YOUNG BLACK SONS WOULD BE "JOE JACKSON"🎉
Marvin gaye daddy
@@ewokevad UH OH....
REAL TALK💯
This is why I always say that the first responsibility any woman has to their child is to ensure they choose a loving and present father. Growing up my mom was always my dad's wife first and our mother second.
My mom called me "the man of the house", no father and no father figure. I challenged my mom. Yep, This is fact, and it is very unhealthy. It ruined alot of my life and my relationships. Im 43 years old and I realize that alot of the things that I sacrificed and did during my teenage and adult years weren't my responsibility even though it was made to feel that way. Even taking care of my mom duting her last days wasn't supposed to be my responsibility, it was supposed to be the men that she married responsibility.
Mother Son worship is apart of ancient pagan history, religion and in our present urban culture today. Patriarchy supposedly is opposed to this idea and religion but business and politics show us otherwise!
💯 all the way.
Farmers kids start contributing way younger than black homes. Stop
Yes and no. Let's be real how many farmers are there in 2024?
@@freestateofgrizzy1937a ton how the hell you think we get food and produce lmao 😂
@@XXX3134L Well I was mainly speaking of black farmers
Alot Of Mama's Boys Are Set Up To Be Marks Out Here By Their Mothers. 💯
TRUE STORY.......
I’ve learned through counseling that MOST Black boys/men have to come to a point in their lives and ask themselves “why wasn’t my father REALLY there?”. When you find that answer, 9/10 it was because your MOTHER demonized him and fed you HER story. He wanted/wants to be in your life bro, it’s unfortunate that the courts and law enforcement always sides with the mother.
Stop giving grown ahhh men excuses. If he REALLY wanted to see his offspring, NOTHING AND NOBODY would be able to stop him. He didn't want to bad enough
@@IAMGROOT4EVA I must say that this was the case with my son’s father. He still tries to blame it on me and my son is 21. I didn’t bad mouth him to my son when he was growing up but his guilt has led him to believe that is the case.
@@IAMGROOT4EVAthis is disingenuous on some level. Not every mother is a willing participant is helping the father maintain a relationship with their child. Let’s not act like some people don’t purposefully make it impossible for them to see their kids. The court system especially is typically never on a father’s side no matter the case. Let’s acknowledge both sides of that argument if we’re going to talk about not trying hard enough.
@@IAMGROOT4EVAIt's not an excuse. It's what's happening all around the country. Don't get angry because you can't blame BM for everything like you usually do
@@robertcortez3526 boy BYE!!! A serial k*ller couldn't keep me from mine. I swear yall pull excuses out ya ahh each and every time
Its not just hormones when challenging his mother....
A MAN is supposed to be head of house, and who holds that position mom... mom expects to be yielded because of motherhood, but in contests for dominance their is no yield to family. You either submit while planning to leave or the conflict boils over n the kid gets removed from the house
Not just black sons are like this ...
Sad but true
Deep
@5:17 facts blaming women in the real world for what you been through with ya moms. Get some healing! Its not our fault!!!!!
Word. Same with daddy or any male issues.
@@kingrahmil4531we get it, it goes both ways but let’s stay on topic here we’re focusing on this specific point 🙏🏾
I agree with that point. But what is your view on the main point of this video about many mother's role in that logic of their sons?
@@Zariah511 no they both effect each other and are very related.
@@kingrahmil4531 again stay on topic😉 never disagreed
My mom has her own toxic to her. Wanted me to be her version of what a man is, how to act, think, do, speak and i just not wired that way. Now i was a good boy with school but weak with ppl and life. I dont blame her for eventually giving up on me since im hard headed
Minority mothers I’m general such as Latinos do this as well. I am of African Mexican origin
Yikes this is for certain black men and woman who don't know there own faults. Even worse when you get in someone else's business then when your wrong, no one is going correct you. Unless you run your mouth and put all your business out there, then the title makes sense. Its still kinda of a weird title, who wants to know or go out of there way to figure out who is "pleasing" there single black mom. Why not a single black dad? No one is entitled to socials
A lot of our first experiences with toxic women was our mothers
When i was a jit. My mama always said"i aint rasing you like these other bitches", never knew what she meant till i got older. Now i see what she was saying.
Some!!!!
I raised my sons to understand their job is to be ONE with the woman they choose to create life with and spend life with. For everything. You are not to show up for me like that. I’m mom. Not your woman. 4:32
🙏🏾
Is this brother raised by a single mother household or both parents? He's very knowledgeable.
A prince has to become a king. The right of passage is a prince must be able to tell his mother no before he can tell a woman no.
I want to send this to my bf , but I kn he will be offended. So I won't. 😢
This doesn't relate to all women. I never made my son do anything outside of be a child, teenager, high school graduate. Could never make my son act as something that wasn't intended for him to be and thats the man of the house. Lets just say some women do and some don't period.
Kevin Samuels said it before lil dr Umar Johnson. Mother wounds are a real thing that we dont address. Umar should have said it first bec thats in his "field of study". 😢
Mother's raising simp men and expect ambitious alphas to come out as a result.
I'm not just a Uniform
Welp
Well where’s YOUR DADDY??????🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗
I’ll wait🕰️⏰🕟🕢🕟
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MOMMA'S BOY AND A GUY WHO IS HENPECKED ON HIS MOM.
WOMEN HAVE TO RECOGNIZE THE DIFFERENCE 😮😮😮
They're almost the same and who wants either????
@@cjohnson_ a momma boy is a guy who doesn't have to do anything because his mom will take care of him so he dates and marries women who will be his momma, that way he can live off her and he doesn't have to do anything but sleep with her. She takes care of him.
A henpecked Guy is a guy who's mom runs his life. He stays in the middle of his relationships even breaking them up sometimes and he can only love and marry a woman she likes.. then she runs the marriage and calls the shots..
@@vashtikelly6837last one sounds like hell 😂
The mother creates them both..
This is spot on. If a man doesn’t grow out of these, it’s not good. Everyone is a mama’s boy at first because you can’t do anything for yourself. She is literally your world. But bad women keep their sons dependent on them. The controlling mom is just diabolical and borderline weird. Go find a man.
Single moms raise some of the worst men and women and it's not talked about enough. This conversation about who rides in the front seat, wife or Mom is sickening. Why is this even a question?? I think this is more an issue with the wife tbh. I'm not putting anybody's mother in the back seat! Idgaf who you are! As a wife, it's not even a question. My mom, his mom, your mom gets the front seat. Why are y'all in competition with these old ass women over their sons? You don't put an elder in the backseat bc you wanna feel like the HBIC.
If you have a wife.....
Tripp Fontaine we as a culture have more important issues than the “ Black son - Black mother “ . Focus on the layer that Black men need to MAN UP like Judge Joe Brown speaks of eloquently. Blk men need to focus on Blk men issues in the world not just this country but GLOBALLY then and only then came we become one. I thank God that I had a wonderful FATHER growing up before his death. I agree there are many levels to this issue however, FOCUS
I don’t understand why people always say “MAN UP” as if most of us had proper father figures in our lives to show us what a man is. A boy isn’t born with a formula on how to become a man. That saying sometimes doesn’t even make any sense. MAN UP. What is a man to begin with? How do we even learn.
dont listen to this clown , if you got good mama be there for her , if your mama is not pray for her... jesus rode wit his mama.
🫡👍🏾🫡🙏🏾🙌🏽
There is validity in his opinion and I agree to a certain degree, but in this same breath we cannot excuse the actions of fathers or lack of them. I believe most young boys feel inclined to be there for their mother because they witnessed the pain their mother endured and mom is and has been the only one there. They've experienced their father call and say son I am coming to get you for the day so we can go hangout be ready at 9 a.m Sunday and here this young man is GROWN still waiting for his father to pick him up for this special father son day. Now this is not all situations, but at some point we have to hold both parties accountable mother and father for their lack of responsibility.
I think we’ve been holding absent fathers accountable for YEARS. That’s all we’ve really talked about specifically in the black community my whole life. The whataboutism in this comment is a part of the problem. So no, not in the same breath. Let’s stay on topic for once and not defer to protect feelings.
@@CrisisGS Okay so what you're saying is we should excuse the lack of fathers in the lives of children because we've been trying to hold them accountable for not being there and focus on the mothers now who have never wavered from their responsibilities and hold them accountable for the none present fathers? All because the children are growing up lacking the masculine emotional experience needed by a father who hasn't been present. It's the mothers fault for not being capable enough? Got it. That makes sense, let's hold the woman accountable for the state of young men because she couldn't convince a man to be responsible. Damn I've been looking at life all wrong, thank you for educating me.
@@d9daprogrammer you sounded ridicoulous from the moment you put words in my mouth. Thats not what i said at all and I'm not repeating myself. You have a selective way of reading clearly. Skipped right past what i said smh. everyone should be held accountable but the minute we hold a women accountable people get in their feelings and start the "what about this and that". Stay on topic..You responded like a sucka fam.
@@d9daprogrammerThe fathers aren't there because the mothers want to prove something. You forgot that part
@@robertcortez3526 No one should keep a father from taking care of their children. There is no way a father should be able to go to sleep at night not knowing if their child is eating or even speaking to said children. If the woman wants to prove something let her, but don't let that keep us as men from actually being there for our children, show up to pta meetings, get them a tablet or cellphone so you can read to them and speak to them, show some kind of effort for the children. F the women and their agenda, don't ever let them keep you as a father from being there for your children. That's whats missing, this out of site out of mind generation of men with the excuse of the mother is weak.
Black men tend to have a “self defeating empathy” toward women in general due to growing up in single mother households. It is what it is…
Complain complain black men stop complaining go get your sons. Ya want to be victims so bad..
Most times they want to get their sons but the woman is holding them hostage for child support payments and being petty to the point where she gets the law involved to where you can’t see your kid so technically some black men are a victim to the child court system
this dude is off about a lot.