Hahaha!!! My husband’s father left a picture of himself naked for his youngest to find while going through his stuff. She was so disgusted she immediately tore it up. But my husband wonders why he felt the need to do such a thing, and also he had to laugh at the brazenness of it.
There are merits to both methods. When my pack rat/hoarder dad died at 93, my brother and I filled 11-1/2 tons of dumpsters, countless trash barrels, and had an estate sale. It was beyond frustrating; my anger had me in therapy for a while. Do not leave your loved ones to that fate. On the other hand, Konmarie worked for me as order calms me and gives me a sense of accomplishment.
I can relate to this. A hoarder friend passed away two years ago and I still remember the stress and frustration I felt having to go through her stuff (mother's wedding ring found among flyers she'd saved in large tubs, birth certificate found among dirty laudry, etc. ). Each load to the dumpster made me feel her loss over again. I vowed I would never leave my friends and family with that burden. I agree, both approaches have value.
Omg! I empathize. Dang!!!! I had to clean out my dad’s trailer and we almost needed a hazmat suit to go in there. Absolutely utter chaos. Days and days over a good month and half. It was beyond frustrating. No one understands the amount of trauma inducing stress of cleaning up someone’s mess until you have to do it yourself. It was awful. So hugs to you for surviving such an ordeal. My god. I think yours belonged on an episode of hoarders.
I'm in favour of this having had to clear out my mums house when she passed this woman kept everything including her first rent book, 38 sweaters, my brother original blood donors card along with many other strange and exotic things, it drove me mad because they brought back so many memories for me and took a lot to heart wrenching to get rid of it all. After I had finished it I went through every cupboard and closet and cleared out anything that did not enrich my life currently and bore in mind I did not need stuff to remember things by that what my brain is for, I decided that no one would every sob their hearts out over my stuff when I'm gone I love them to much for that. Regular Death Cleaner Extraordinaire.
This is the most real comment section I’ve ever been a part of. I feel like I found my tribe. You guys are all amazing who have lived through cleaning up after someone else’s mess. I am so happy we can have a real conversation about this horrific situation that continues to happen to people everywhere but is never talked about.
When I was a teen I would deep clean my room out of the fear that I would unexpectedly pass away and my family would find all my embarrassing secrets and mess 🤭 I’ve always aimed for a place tidy enough to die in peacefully hahaha
After dealing with both of my parents' things after they passed on, I can honestly say that it alters your perspective on what is valuable, and what other people might want. I'd like to keep those joyous things around me now, but equally, not to have anyone else deal with my sh*t after I'm gone. It's an ever evolving process for me. Really enjoy your videos.
Dealing with my grandmother's house and stuff was so difficult for my mother that she has been gradually death cleaning her own house ever since. When I turned 60 I found that my own joy-sparking stuff had surprisingly turned into anxiety-causing clutter (who IS this person I have become!?!). Every few months now a clearing out mood erupts in me, and I focus on the things I know my daughters will never want and donate them. Laura, your most profound tip for me is the idea that you can pick up something in a store, love it, and LEAVE IT IN THE STORE!!!! I wish I had heard of that idea in my 30's and 40's when I was buying all this stuff!
I say yay to Swedish Death Cleaning. In a way. My sister died of cancer a few years ago. I stayed with her for the final three months of her life. She spent way too much time telling me who she wanted things to go to after she was gone. Instead of talking about our extraordinary life as sisters, she talked about things. These things were going to make her loved ones financially secure - they were more memorabilia. So I passed what she asked to certain people which wasn’t easy or cheap. They lived all over California so I had to get mailing addresses and pack stuff up, mail it off with a (I hope) comforting note. What she failed to do was to pay me back on loans I gave her and her husband for down payment on their house and car. Which is fine. I never really lend to family. In my mind it was a gift and if I get paid back, that would be a unexpected bonus. California is a community property state so her third husband, father of none of her kids legally owned everything when she died - and kept it for a few months and then sold it all. My sister had time to make a will to cover the three months of full time care I gave her, driving her all over Northern and Southern California looking for a cure or a better diagnosis. She kept saying “George (her hubby) will pay you back for all you are spending”. But we all knew George was frugal. I never thought he wouldn’t help me out for the 24/7 nursing care so he could continue to go to work. Anyway, I digress, my sister worried about things and not really people during her final days. She should have dealt with the things and made sure that her children would see some of the equity in her house... not just her third husband. They had only been married three years. It had been her house. She passed away shortly before Christmas. I didn’t have it in me to go Christmas shopping and I never wanted to be on my Death bed worrying about where my belongings that are treasures to me should go after I am gone. I had a few very expensive pieces of jewelry that I wore when I went out somewhere special - but I’m getting old and I don’t go out much. So I wrapped them up and gave them to my adult daughters as Christmas gifts. They love them and I know I will not have to give them a thought When I reach my Death bed. My son gets any electronics I have when I die (he has a lot of them already). Death Cleaning is a way to get rid of junk but it can also be a way to make sure your loved ones receive your valuables and you can see them enjoy them.
Oh Corinne, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. Her story is an excellent example of why death cleaning can be so important, and I'm sure it will speak to a lot of people. We spend so much time accumulating stuff and believing that "more is more" that we can often be blind to what a burden it is. I'm sure you've learned a valuable lesson from your sister's experience. I know I have. x
Thank you so much. The experience with my sister was certainly watching the worst cancer taker her life that I have ever seen. I meant to say her possessions were not going to make anyone financially secure. They were trinkets really. Her prayer box,, antique desk she treasured. Just things. But she knew she would have no control after her death - she had to make sure I knew where she wanted them to go. She could have contacted a lawyer and made sure her daughters received some of the equity when her house. It was hers house. She did not legally protect it and the moment she died it belonged to her husband (they had been married a short time when she she died). I’m not angry. She did not know. We don’t come from a family that is college educated folks. I knew, but my sister was obsessed with little trinkets that meant so much to her. I never want that to happen to me. So anything of value has already been given to my kids and I’m not really that old (65) . I get to watch my daughters enjoy my jewelry and if I want to wear it,, I can just borrow it from them. My “loved by me only” stuff like my full set of all versions of Vintage Nancy Drew books have? I have written down the one person I would like them to be offered to and if she doesn’t want them - sell, donate, whatever. That will not diminish the life I lived or the love I had for people in my life. It’s just stuff. My sister taught me a lot in life. We had a bond the will never be broken. That is what I regret. That we talked about things instead of our life. I am the last sibling and my childhood friend is gone so I can’t say to anyone “ remember when....? . “. It’s just me to remember. Experiences, feelings, people we love. Those are so much more valuable that things (except my bullet journal supplies - nobody touched those. Ha Ha ha
Such a poignant story. Your comments are so insightful. It's obvious your sister meant a lot to you, and that you miss her terribly. And also that she taught you a lot, even if some of it was inadvertent. What you should be particularly proud of is the fact that you actually listened and learned. A lot of people don't, and then go on to make the same mistakes. A college education doesn't buy you the kind of common sense and the depth of feeling and understanding you've displayed. Those are priceless, and I'm so glad you're passing them to your children.
Corinne Brown I'm so sorry to hear your story, but very glad that you told it, as it certainly contains an important message. Thank you for sharing it.
I've been Swedish Death cleaning without realizing I was trendy! I have 4 adult children and I'm pretty sure they won't want most of my stuff, so I'm offering them stuff now so I can downsize be done with dusting it. Maybe there's a book there? Love it and love your videos, you always make me smile!
It might be a good idea to just leave the stuff out and let them go through it themselves and remove whatever they'd like, rather than just giving them everything. 😊
Rene' S Me too! Who knew we were trendy, first time in my life LOL I got this way after my dad passed and his thoughts were if one is good three is better LOL. I guess I’ve actually been combining both methods all along without knowing it, I only keep what really brings me joy and things that I don’t find joyful I don’t keep around so that my kids will have to deal with it when I’m gone.
piperpratt Exactly! My mother-in-law was a Great Depression survivor and she never threw anything away, so when she passed, we needed a garbage truck to rid the house of worthless things. Bits of foil and string and rinsed out soup cans made sense at one time, but she could never let go of that mentality. I told my kids about this over Thanksgiving and they laughed until I said, so okay, what do I have that you'll want? Obviously nothing! I guess that makes death cleaning simple!
I really liked Swedish death cleaning. I was in my late forties at the time & didn’t find it morbid at all. It’s not about getting rid of everything you love in case others won’t want it. It was about asking if people would want the items & if you were just storing them & not enjoying them,on giving them to them now so that you can enjoy seeing their pleasure in receiving it. It was another tool in changing my mindset about stuff & helped rid me of the guilt of not keeping my mother’s treasures when she died. Helped prevent me attaching too much sentiment to my own stuff too. I haven’t missed a single thing that has gone.
I've recently started something similar but I didn't even think about it as death cleaning. We have recently considered moving. We're not in a rush but are just playing with the idea. Now, as I am decluttering, I ask myself if I would want to move this crap. What seemed very important a few months ago, doesn't seem so important now. I love the idea of combining this with Swedish Death Cleaning. I have had to deal with all possessions left by both of my parents and my brother. Years later, I am still hanging on to so many objects that I feel guilty getting rid of, long after I have realized that it is okay to purge them. Swedish Death Cleaning has given me a whole new perspective and has made it possible for me to actually let go of these things.
Since finding your channel (from watching dainty dress diaries) I've pretty much been getting rid of a bag of crap each week. As I clear out each room I put anything I haven't used or worn in a bag that I keep in my hall way. If I haven't pulled it out by the following week I take it to the charity shop. I have cleared out so much stuff. Clothes I kept wearing because I'd forget they made me feel uncomfortable to hair products/makeup I hadn't used in the last 10 years lol I've cleared so much space. I'm down now to my last room. I feel free from my own junk. Thank you. Also following one of your videos I watched I added in 'buffer' time to my day and I now don't rush from work-eat-gym-clean-bed-etc I take my time and enjoy my days a lot more and a lot less stressful. 💪💪💪
Aw, that's brilliant, Tracy! Go you! I have a donation box in the hall closet and as soon as I realise I don't like something or it's too small or it's uncomfortable or whatever, I pop it straight in the box. That's helped a lot. Also, isn't Catherine great? Her Instagram feed gives me all the heart eyes.
I feel like "spark joy" is more something you do for yourself (based around your own happiness - you things you like and make you happy) and death cleaning is more something you do for others. I'm 22, so currently more of a "spark joy" girl, but maybe in 50 years or so I'll move to the death cleaning side :P
@@HowToGYST except that you never know when you will go...long life is not a promise...I lost several friends before they were 30. I'm not saying no fun, but that you're doing your older self a favor by being discriminating about collecting now cus dang it's tiring to declutter in later life!
KonMari is about living with only the things you love, while Swedish Death Cleaning is about living with the things that you think others will love. I think it's clear which is a healthier way to live. If my loved ones did the KonMari method, and lived with just a small amount items that really brought them joy, then I would have no problem cleaning up after them when they've passed. They lived surrounded by joy and didn't have clutter. I don't have to wonder. I think that Swedish Death Cleaning is better than nothing, but KonMari is better still. I want my loved ones to surround themselves with what they love, not think of me instead.
I think living by konmari method doesnt exacly mean living with a small amount of stuff because it brings me joy to be surrounded by a lot of stuff which i love. So if i reach my goal with having a lot of stuff i would maybe need to do a death clean, but its a bit difficult to know when your going to die and i wouldnt want to live a longer time without my stuff. Hope this makes sence >_
If I followed the Death Cleaning method I’d have to get rid of my vintage Pyrex dishes I use and love, because I am damn sure my son won’t want them. This just seems ridiculous. I’d rather have less but things I love, and then my son would not have to go through piles of junk, and I can enjoy my treasures while I am still alive.
Not worrying about burdening my family and leaving behind potentially hurtful items (journals, photos, texts) sparks joy for me. I don't ever want to be lying in the hospital knowing someone is in my bedroom going through my stuff because I'm never going home. Can you imagine? It's just stuff. It's too expensive
I know this is an old video, but this is the exact reason I started decluttering....when I saw my Mom and Dad having so much trouble going through my Grandparents house.
I cleaned up after both of my parents. It inspired me to declutter my home by pretending I was dead and I was the someone who had to clean up after me. There's so much you don't need once your're gone, and stuff you might be embarrassed for someone else to see. (Would they keep a promise to not read my journals?) I kept my stationery and craft things I'd use before my time is up.
I agree completely. But on re-reading, I have to smile: "There's so much you don't need once you're gone" True! When you're gone, you don't need any of it!
It was liberating! Pretending I was gone peeled away a lot of emotional needs and made me be more present with the stuff I did keep. And I haven't regretted tossing anything I got rid of.
Oooo...that's a good one! 😊Pretending you're dead and are somebody cleaning up after yourself! I think you may have just sparked the NEXT big decluttering philosophy! 😀
This is exactly one of the principles brought up by the author in the Swedish Death Cleaning book (just finished it a couple nights ago). Going through our stuff with the realization that other eyes will be on it once we are gone, and having the power to make decisions about that while still alive.
I'm recently widowed mother of 5 children o was so overwhelmed by all of our things including my husband's work home things I've been decluttering and cleaning because I now live never a special occasion. So I wear the vintage dresses even when I'm cleaning. I use the special cups on the dresser. Just wanted to say thank you for your help x
Didn't even realize this was a Swedish thing... I already do this! Maybe it's because I have experience dealing with someone's stuff after they're gonna. My grandma died almost exactly 10 years ago and we're _still_ going through her belongings. Grandma was a child of the Depression as well as the child of immigrants who grew up in extreme poverty, so she learned from a young age to never throw anything away. She would keep and wear a shirt 'til it could no longer be mended, then cut the buttons off and keep the scraps of fabric because you never know when you might need those things! There's a lot to admire about that frugal mindset, but it can easily lead to hoarding in this day and age.
Wow, this is exactly why I am in the process of de-cluttering my home. I love having a name for it that really does sound cool. Asking the question, "Will my loved ones be glad I kept this?" is helping me to pare down even more. Thanks!
Swedish death cleaning is not aimed at twenty somethings, it’s for us old people. I wish my dad had read this book. It took months to get rid of all of his stuff at a time when siblings were upset and arguing about memories. It’s not so easy as “rent a dumpster” when you know that your you dad valued this or that. Throwing it away feels like you are throwing away his memory. Death cleaning can be a gift that we give our children. If you are young, by all means, roll those undies and hug those old yoga pants goodbye. But if you’re old, death clean your house.
Not sure where the age reference comes from but I kissed my 20s goodbye a long time ago. 😂 The point she makes in the book is that none of us knows when we're going to die. It's not just the old who pass away. Obviously the older you get, the more pressing it becomes, but I don't think anyone should wait until they're "old" to get started with decluttering. I'm so sorry you lost your father though, that must have been terribly hard especially, as you say, with siblings who were trying to come to terms with it. It's a very difficult time.
How to Get Your Shit Together, I think that perhaps you misunderstood part of Phoebe Graveyard's message. When she says to roll your undies and hug your old yoga pants, she is referring to KonMari, so she is totally endorsing decluttering when you're young. It's true, as you say, that none of us knows when we're going to die, but we are not meant to spend our youth preparing for our death. I, too, believe that Swedish Death Cleaning is for us oldies. I am 66, a very good age to begin this process. And I am doubly blessed that I can KonMari & Swedish Death Clean at the same time. (I have read both books.) I just recently discovered your channel and I love your messages and your delivery! I am excited to read more.
Oh, I definitely understood. I was just relaying and clarifying what the book says - that death cleaning is for every age and is not limited to older people. But I agree that it's not something that should weigh heavily on younger minds. Welcome to the channel and thanks so much! 😁
I like this idea generally. It’s an o”thers centered” approach which I think is healthy. Maybe it depends on your personality but seeing things this way (after some of her friends died and left behind so much stuff) was the only way of thinking that finally allowed my mom to let us help clearing out her house.
Good idea. My Mum passed away in the year 2000 and I think she secretly new she was ill. She,d sorted out all of her things and got rid of lots of stuff. Her little flat was so organised bless her and it did make the devastating task of clearing out so much easier.
Hmm, I wrote a comment and it's disappeared. Sorry if it shows up as a reply under someone else's comment. The showdown between KonMari and Death Cleaning made me remember a movie I watched a few years ago. It's called Tavarataivas, (released as My Stuff in English). A man takes every one of his possessions from his comb to his refrigerator and puts them in a storage unit. His premise is that for one year he will buy nothing but essential disposable/consumable supplies (food, tp etc.) , and he will take ONE possession out of the storage unit every day. So he stands there starkers and chooses a long coat and goes back to his completely empty apartment. (His tip for his first night's sleep is, "you have to put your legs in the sleeves".) The movie was certainly very contrived, but I got two things out of it. One, I vicariously felt his extreme joy as he got the 'gift' of the thing he absolutely loved and/or needed every day. A toothbrush, A Mattress! Feeling his grateful delight was amazing. And some days he decided what he had was enough, nothing new was coming to mind, which is also a total flip, what it must be like to own twenty things and think "meh, I'm fine today, nothing for me, thanks." Two, when I'm decluttering, sometimes instead of asking myself if something sparks joy (or how much my descendants will appreciate a collection of crumpet rings or lightly used sandpaper), I'll think, "How many years would I have to go back to the storage unit before this thing's day would come? Could I even live long enough to bring this ratty dish towel back into my life?"
What an interesting approach in your last lines to think about if you would even live long enough to bring it back. I'll take that with me on my decluttering journey!
Wow. That will really make you think! My family and I have moved several times for work in the 8 years we have been married. There were 3 instances in which the majority of our belongings had to be left in storage while we went across the country. What happens is that you realize how little of it you need. You come back and get rid of 50-75% of it. After about 8 or 10 moves you get down to the things that you really like. I kind of learned KonMari by necessity even though I had never heard the term 😆
I've had to go through a few houses and it's overwhelming to deal with all that. I've been Swedish Death Cleaning and its a different level of Decluttering that I'm very happy with. I am recently an empty nester so I'm at stage where I can really let go of stuff. I think it's harder when you are still raising your kids.
I can see the utility of this but I I don't think it for me. I love the konmari method, it is the ONLY think that got me on the right path but I would not feel joy about the process in death cleaning, it is too morbid. I'll give my kids permission to rent a dumpster after I am gone and toss what they don't want so they don't have to feel guilty.
I agree, I'd much rather focus on the here and now. And I think the KonMari Method has already done a fine job of reducing my belongings and, therefore, reducing the burden of "too much stuff to go through" after I'm gone.
Interestingly that is exactly what I've been trying to do for 6 yrs. Mom died, I inherited her house and 60 yrs of crap. I have been so Stuck. "My" house is barely functional. I started watching these videos last month bc I can't keep living this way. Mom would not let me get rid of ANYTHING before she died. (She knew she was dying). So difficult.
I actually think they work hand in hand. Why use one method when you don’t have to. What I like about this method is it isn’t just about you and your joy it’s about bringing joy to others as well.
Well, they might not need to feel guilty, but cleaning up someone else's stuff is a lot of work whether they have permission or not. Are those left behind going to enjoy having to deal with that? Instead of mourning and remembrances, the time after death will be working out how to rent dumpsters and get all the stuff out. Is it more generous (not morbid) to get our things in order so when we do die (which is inevitable), we leave the least burden possible? I think yes. So personally I think a mix of the 2 methods is probably the ideal solution.
I have delt with a couple of houses of stuff, and I will tell you that cleaning out drawers of old birthday/holiday cards does make me more ruthless with my own stuff. In the back of my mind I think, "I don't want anyone having to throw out drawers of my cards after I'm gone.". It really does cause me to not hold on to things as much as I used to.
Started my own death cleaning at the ripe old age of 31. Hadn’t heard of Swedish Death Cleaning or the KonMari method but left New Zealand after burying Mum with a deep need to purge my house of anything that wasn’t useful or that I loved. I do a bit of both I suppose - do I love this? Can my family sell this or use it if I die tomorrow? I’ve a freaking awesome brooch collection that I know my sisters would happily take ownership of or be able to sell the ones that aren’t them and I dumped all but Mum and Dads birth, marriage and death certificates and a few items of theirs that held sentimental value for me. I’m starting to feel so free and I’ve just one room left to do 🎉 And seeing your videos every week helps me tune back into why I’m doing this. Thank you
I didn't know any of the methods but I felt that there were tasks to be done in my life. I happened to see some videos about the Koreans' way of life and I liked the simple way they organized their houses and how they lived only with what they needed. This helped me to give myself and my home an objective, because I realized that I "lacked" it. I realized that I had too much stuff, kept things for a life I no longer had (I got divorced, started living alone with my son and continued to keep things that served a bigger family and not my daily reality), things that carried memories or hopes and that I was preventing myself from living in the here and now, because I lived either in the past or in expectation of another reality. I decided to live in the here and now and that allowed me to make many decisions and changes that had to be made. I was always organized naturally, so it wasn't even difficult, it was just like everything finally fitting together. The part of the sweedish death cleaning (which I didn't even know existed) had to do with the fact that I had a serious illness, still being treated and the various mental processes associated with this type of situation. I spontaneously realized this situation of "travelling light" and what things, if I died, I would like it to be seen by my son or my family. Basically it was seeing myself (or imagining being seen) with the eyes of others. It is a very interesting exercise. One day, after I'm gone, I don't want them to get attached to things, they can throw everything away - it's just things. I realized that life is moving towards nothingness and that, for that reason, things can weight too much and steal our precious energy. I chose to travel light. So I guess my life is a mix of minimalism & konmari method & sweedish death cleaning, lolol
I can't imagine it's the easiest of topics to broach with a parent or older relative. But I think the popularity of books like this will make it much more of a "public" and "open" discussion. People who may have never considered it before might read an article about it or see a segment on TV. And that might get them thinking.
I'd really love to learn ways to inspire my mother in law. Her health isn't great and she is a hoarder. My husband and I lived close for awhile so we were able to sort some stuff with her, but now that we live far away, it has been quite difficult to provide all the hands-on help she needs.
As a former hospice chaplain I have seen so much agony in families feeling guilt for simply getting rid of stuff. I have five million journals 😔 You and I may end up having some juicy details of our biographies published posthumously 😂
I say yay. 😆 Death doesn't make me feel sad though. I say, whatever works to inspire you to do your best! One man's medicine is another's poison. I also learned a lot from Flylady years before Konmari became the trend. All have given me good nuggets.
I like it as something to do AFTER using a different method. I'd like to KonMari my place, then go through and see if there's anything that would just be a pain for anyone who had to go through my stuff. Though I'll probably make an exception for papers. I keep way too many, so including Death Cleaning at the same time as the KonMari for that category would help me get rid of things that frankly no one needs but I would be inclined to hold on to. I've had plans for awhile to make a "death box" with all the info anyone could need (including things like whether I've arranged for someone to take care of my pet and specific care instructions/medical records, how to claim any life insurance, any key info they may need like passwords, how to inform my friends of my death, who all has spare keys that need to be returned to the landlord, what to do with any social profiles, if I had a blog I'd probably have a pre-written post available to inform any followers with little effort... basically a comprehensive guide to all the unexpected chores that come along with death to make things as easy as possible). Does the book have any information on this sort of preparation? I'm 23, but death doesn't discriminate too much and I've always been the anxious, over-prepared type, lol. I won't truly feel like I have my entire life in order until the death box is done. Not sure how to deal with journals. Need to keep them in a contained box with a destructive device that gets triggered if my heart stops, lol.
I'm definitly KonMari. As long as I live, I want to live joyfully, so "does it spark joy" is the right question for me. If I love things that nobody else in my family loves, I would try to make it clear to them that it's totally ok for me if after my death they throw it all away without even looking at it. But I wouldn't throw them away myself if I still like and use these things. I try to downsize things because it serves me to live rather minimalistic. I think this will lessen the burden for the next generation also, but I don't need this thought as a motivation to declutter
I agree, I think our own wants and needs should take priority, and what brings joy to us in the here and now. But I suppose it's an extra dimension that may help cement a decision if someone's on the fence about an item. And I do think that leaving clear instructions is a great idea and will really help loved ones when the time comes.
After my mother died there was so much to clear out in her house that I literally had nightmares about it. I don't want my children to have to go through that. I think the biblical phrase is 'putting your house in order'. I've been trying to do that for years but I find it very difficult. I need help.
I raised my nearest and dearest, which involved a lot of cleaning up after them. So it gives me a great feeling of satisfaction to think that they will have to clean up after me when I am gone.
On holiday for a month with just a cabin size case and a hand bag. I read "Goodbye Things" on the journey. Can't see a contradiction between the methods. Sure I have plenty of stuff that neither sparks joy nor would be loved by my children. My mother gave my brother and I back gifts we had given her well before she died. Just for a month it's great having just a case of clothes and looking forward to some more clearing out at home. Your videos are great.
I'm so jealous! With Christmas coming up, I'll be doing another big clear-out soon too. I loved how our house looked before our shipping container of stuff arrived over from Ireland, so I'm going to keep that in mind as I go through everything. P.S. I recently read "Goodbye, Things". I found it so fascinating that he eventually also started getting rid of things that brought him joy.
How to Get Your Shit Together Yes rooms look a lot bigger without so much in them. I wouldn't go as far as he does in Goodbye Things and certainly wouldn't want my clothes to be anything like a uniform. I would like my bedroom to be a bit more like a hotel room, clear surfaces and no distractions.
My husband is retired and I am on the verge of retiring. By the end of 2018 we had gone through the house and disposed of, in one form or another, 80% of all the stuff. We feel very liberated... but even now I glance around at times and spot something that for some unknown reason annoys me. For a few days now, it's a decorative pillow located in the office. Come trash day, out it goes. Less stuff has made me acutely aware of what I truly value. My mother had Alzheimer's and when she died, my sister and I each kept a couple of little trinkets of hers. It was not difficult for us to dispose of anything she owned... she no longer enjoyed it, remembered it, or cared. What she did leave us of value was wonderful memories and great stories to tell.
Couldn't pass up the opportunity to get more fun out of the skeleton I bought for Halloween! I sent various random pictures to my husband while he was at work. He asked if I'd had enough sleep. 😂
I spent the last 5 years clearing out my brother's and the wrinklies homes, i found it difficult to throw away their treasured stuff and ended up with a house you could hardly move in. So now I'm in the middle of Swedish KonMarie deathcleaning and ...staging my house to sell (downsizing). When you accept it's just 'stuff' it's easy to let go of it. Don't leave a ton of mess for your kids to sort. It's too painful. And don't read the journal's....label 'burn on death'.. ..to see ourselves as others see us and what your loved ones REALLY thought, nobody in the family needs that! indeed!!!!! Marty
It's the end of 2019 and I'm just hearing about Swedish death cleaning. I've already done the KonMari method (early 2019) and it did wonders on my cloths and some of my stuff. Now I'm going through and doing it again but with the thought " I don't want my family to have to trash most of this stuff if/when I die. I'm in my 40's so hopefuly that is going to be a while. :) Thanks for the video.
This is not what I was expecting at all haha. This hit close to home because growing up I had a lot of close family deaths and spent a lot of time cleaning out houses, which takes forever and a team of people even for tidier people. I could see this being helpful but emotionally is hard to think about. Brb, let me toss out my box full of random paper notes so nobody cleaning out my house thinks I've gone mad omg
I had to clean out my parents house to sell it. I had to go through 61 yrs of collecting stuff. After my brother and I took what we wanted, there was a TON of stuff. I tell people now to get rid of your crap so your kids don’t have to do it!
As a Swedish woman i wish i had read about either of these two metods befor i lost 2 of my loved ones. No instead im stuck with pilled up boxes of there stuff that i thought i night wanna keep but now dredding to go thought. So better hope i live healthy and til my 100s so i have gotten the clutter down.
Cleaning up after a deceased loved one is a rite of passage. I did mine; they can do theirs. It is part of how we say good-bye. ^_^ On the other hand, there IS stuff I do not want my son to go through.
Yay to Swedish Death Cleaning! I helped my parents take care of multiple relatives' belongings after their passing. It was grueling, and difficult in many ways. I'd personally continue to declutter like I do, and I'll be putting in my will(i own a lot of books) that any books my family doesn't want to keep donate to a library so someone enjoys them. They can do the same thing with media such as music and movies. I'm not looking forward to helping future relatives since we have some packrats in the family, so i wish they'd do this.
I think it's so great to leave clear instructions. As you say, the process can be gruelling. Apart from the physical effort, there's the mental anguish associated with it. It just goes to show that clutter isn't always a person problem; it can have a negative effect on others too.
Bad news book lover. Unless you have some awesomely collectible books, libraries probably don’t want them. I struggled with getting rid of many books until I found out that a local Habitat restore kept and sold what was valuable in that way, and the rest are shredded to make cellulose fill insulation for homes. So the non-collectibles go to an honorable purpose instead of the landfill. I was taught to honor books. But it is not the world we live in now.
Speaking of journals, When my grandmother passed in 2012 (at age 96) we went through her journals, and got to read entries about when her and my grandfather met (who passed in the early 2000's), and their dates. It was really comforting to see her handwriting saying that she knew she would marry him after their first date in the 1930's. I am not sure which of my Aunt's or Uncle's ended up with the journals, but seeing her words after her passing was really nice!
I am bipolar, and I used to do this when I decided I actually wanted to kill myself so that my family didn't have to deal with my stuff. I would desgingate specific boxes to people I love. By the time I got decluttered and organized I was happy again hahahaha. Although it was always a bummer when I threw out all my sex toys 👏every 👏single👏 time 😂 Now, instead of deciding to kill myself - I just decide to do my cleaning ritual and it works. I always end up refreshed and optimistic. Sounds morbid but such is life.
@@valh3503 Too real? Haha I do that.... At least my best friend knows that if I give her a box of sex toys marked "eBay", that she needs to call my therapist 😂😂😂
I'm *just* starting to try to GM(y)ST. Basically just tired of all the clutter. So, started with a bit of a combo of both methods. When I came across an item that was a bit sentimental to me, I put it aside to keep it as it did spark sentiment, then thought about it. It was essentially a piece of cloth, it would mean nothing to anyone else but me. I have photos of me wearing it, no one else would ever want it, I no longer use it, and I thought, about SDC, and realized I needed to let it go. Into the bin it went. Also donated 3/4 of an SUV full of clothes/household items we no longer need/can use/want, and it felt good. Ready to dig in for more soon. So, I think leading with Konmarie, but if in doubt, go through the mental process about why you are keeping it, and who may want it when you are gone is helpful. As a child of a hoarder, I know just how expensive and horrible death cleaning can be. It cost us thousands, and involved a crew of 8 men working for 2 days straight. Don't do that to your kids!
This method makes a lot of sense especially after a few of my family members have died recently and the process of clearing out and feeling guilty for getting rid of someone else's things is not something I would want to put on anyone else!
Having had to clean out the 2 bedroom flat of mymum, I found 20 coats (I have1) same amount of gloves, scarves, hats, shoes. But also3 of each in the kitchen, like cake tins, cheese slicers, etc. it was very tasking, and my firend who helped me realised his loved ones had to do his flat after, and started going through his house. I like to purge once in a while, but crap remains like the pottery from the 1920's I inherited from my nan or bought in charity shops to go with them and they are nice on display, but yeah, will anyone want them except me? I worry most about my cats and where they go after i;m gone, stuff is just stuff. might leave my craftroom in my will to some school orso
I don't see how death cleaning can be useful. If I got rid of everything that I thought my family would not want, I would have absolutely nothing. Nothing. The only useful part maybe to ask yourself, do I want someone to find this item when I'm gone? Live with what gives YOU joy now.
I know this is old comment, but it is insanely useful if you think of it like elderly parents cleaning so their kids don't have to... the stuff in attics and basements and extra rooms and garages that they never got around to, that they procrastinated, stuff that is just stuff. it's not sparking joy, it's just responsibility that somebody needs to take.
Take it from someone who had to go through the pain and heartache of shutting down someone's life. My husband and I did it after his parents both died within a short time. It is very hard to make decisions about trivial items when you're grieving, overwhelmed and under pressure to get it done. It took us full time for a month and a half, and that was with help. They were not hoarders. They had an ordinarily used and lived in home. It was neat and contained the things they felt they needed to live. We now have to go through boxes and boxes again because we just couldn't part with things then. We decided that we would absolutely NOT do that to our kids. Swedish death cleaning is a great idea. We will definitely be doing it. It's okay to keep things that bring you joy but at the same time, think about what your loved ones(or strangers) would find if you died or became incapacitated unexpectedly. I don't mean embarrassing things, I mean the sheer amount of stuff. For example, in the course of life, a couple where one is an avid reader, crafter and gardener who is involved in community activities, the other is a mechanic/machinist/pilot and history buff who was an only child and also inherited a lot of antiques/heirlooms.... Things add up!!
@@lillamy2896 when my mother died in another country I spent three days in her flat, never left it, and still didn't get it all out. Family were mad at me but what could I do? Took a leave of absence from work etc., I know in my heart I did my best. My sister helped some. Mostly financially which was very welcome with not working. Three days of having to go through books and purses (she liked lots of zippers). She hid money so I had to go through EVERYTHING. When I came home I immediately started chucking out stuff. I realize I need to start again. Glad I found this channel.
Both methods make sense to me. A rodent issue forced a deep clean of the garage and attic. Decluttering has been going on for quite a while in this house. Today there were a couple of boxes from my husband's deceased first wife. We saved a few things for our oldest daughter. I'm stepmom. Most we let go of. Those 2 Life magazines had no deep meaning. The 10 year old IEP should have been tossed 10 years ago. I am storing some things for my oldest. Her new apartment doesn't have a ton of storage space. She asked me to keep my old Kitchen Aid for her when I upgraded this year. Things like that I will keep. Random clutter I won't. I think the Kon Marie method is AWESOME, but there are rules I can't seem to follow. I think this method should be applied to anything you are "saving for".... insert name there. I GREATLY ENJOY my craft supplies! When I pass, I would be more than happy if they were all donated. My niece may want to go through them. My daughter in law may also want some. I can't imagine detailed instructions for that. I can imagine my niece, and future daughter in law keeping what they want and sending the rest off to the donation place of their choice. That is truly how I look at most of my stuff.
I chunked ALL my journals, going back 40 years. Since I am 63 & well, you know, could technically die any second, I decided to keep my deepest secrets secret. I don’t think they will be important to me after I die. And I sure don’t want them to become important to someone else! An entire box of them. I don’t miss them & I’m actually relieved that no one will know I was in love with my literature professor for 5 years...ooops.
My therapist suggested that journaling would help me with my mental state. All I could think of was what people would be reading in those journals when I died. I never took her advice - and I’m fairly well balanced after therapy ended. 😂
My grandma passed away this summer and she had the tendency to hoard stuff like clothes, my old schoolwork I tried to get rid of and other stuff. Her room was filled with them. It took a lot of time to get rid of them. Actually now it looks bigger. I still have a ton of papers I need to go through. Since I am busy I haven`t had the time to do it, but this method really puts things into perspective. I wouldn`t want to leave all my stuff to my sister to handle when she is having difficulties already. That would be just mean. I like the idea of only leaving things that others could have use of. I have gotten rid of a ton of clothes already. I need to get storage to put everything, I keep, away properly and organize it. But don`t just think about others, while you do it think about yourself as well. Maybe there is stuff you love and there is someone else also who would appreciate having it after you are gone from this world. I have a locket, my grandma gave me and I really love it. There were 2 of them. My cousin has the other one. Stuff like that help to keep memories alive and sometimes have cool stories behind them.
6 років тому+5
Sweden is a basd ass country! Since I am in my thirties, and just started the KonMari method I think KonMari is a great start in order to love all your things and enjoy living with them, and then - like in 20 years start with the "dödsstädning" for preparation for the next life. I love your channel! Grettings from Sweden
Swedish Death Cleaning was the "switch" that turned me from not being able to get rid of much to getting rid of half of my stuff about 8 years ago. I've been telling everyone about it ever since. But I didn't know there was a name to it until about 2 years ago. :) It worked for me because my two kids are pretty much minimalists. One who has and needs very little and the other who has a lot (she has 4 kids) but is able to throw out stuff very easily. When I asked them if they wanted anything as I had to get rid of stuff to downsize, neither wanted a single thing of mine. I don't want them to be stuck touching all of my crap after I am gone and having to make a decision about it, especially if they see it as junk. What flipped the switch for me was actually going through my mom's things. She didn't have a lot as she had been cleaning out for years. It was just a reminder that someone will have to go through my stuff. And the KonMari Method makes very little sense to me.
I think the biggest difference is that Swedish death cleaning more applies to the things you have in your attic cellar or cupboards and the conmari focus on your everyday items and clothes. So they more complement each other than anything else. Of course your loved ones won't appreciate your underwear but you still need them (conmarie) but old broken furniture things to get fixed in your cellar or garage that honestly will never be tended to should be tossed rather than saved for your loved ones to deal with (Swedish death cleaning). Petra from Sweden
Yep, I'm with the death cleaning method. I don't think stuff brings you joy. Joy takes effort and comes from within. Having said that, your videos bring me joy, so thank you 😀
I personally like the idea of surrounding myself with the things that give me joy while I'm still alive. However, I 've made it extremely clear to my family and friends that once I'm gone, anything that doesn't "spark joy" for them, they can get rid of. Totally guilt free. I'm on a journey to minimalism so hopefully there won't be an overwhelming amount of stuff to go through.
Ultimately, it is an act of love. By taking care of what is ours while we can, we are saying "I love you" to those that would have been burdened with the task of dealing with the aftermath of our passing. I know from experience: my husband passed away from ALS.
I think this is where essentialism comes into play. If you're keeping what is essential and what you are using you don't have all the extra to worry about. I do, however, have areas that I allow myself to not limit because I, and my grown children, enjoy these: books, cooking and artistic expression.
I’ve started my own version of Swedish Death Cleaning with my photos. I inherited a lot of photos from my parents some of which have people in them I don’t recognise. I have 2 grandchildren and I’m compiling a photographic family tree album for each of them, then the rest can go. As for my lifetime, I’m choosing one or two photos of friends, occasions etc and that’s it. Needless to say, these are paper versions.
I am now in the process of decluttering so my only child will not be burdened after my passing. This Swedish Death Cleaning is just the motivation I need! As you suggested, I plan to incorporate both methods in my cleaning. I’ve already made one pass through my belongings and am making a second pass to declutter more. A lifetime of junk is never another person’s treasure...🤣
It seems to me that the difference with the Konmari method is you are saying “what brings ME joy” and in the Swedish method you are say “what do I have that brings OTHERS joy”. Screw them! MY life MY joy! Go find your own joy. I’ve already instructed my son to keep what he wants and bin the rest. Cleaning up after a family member dies is just par for the course in life. Otherwise we’d all be sitting in empty rooms waiting to die but happy we aren’t leaving a mess.
J White- I completely agree with your answer! This video really resonated with me. My husband has terminal cancer, he has been a hoarder and procrastinator our whole marriage, I call his office the pit of despair! Lol. He really was a good man who has loved me very much and will leave me with some wonderful memories. On the other hand he is also leaving me with a huge mess. Nothing organized, not sure what even some of the stuff is for, and literally piles of paper everywhere. I’ve asked him, when he was well enough to still do it, to go through his things, to please tell me what was what or if there was anything he wanted to go to someone, or at the very least some direction. He doesn’t place much value on material things, one of his good qualities, but much of it is things I in no way would use. He told me it was all mine and I could keep it. The sad truth is, once I lose him, I’m going to have this huge burden of just stuff to go through that never really brought him joy or speaks to me of him. It was just a bunch of stuff he always meant to go through and get rid of and organize what he needed to keep but never did. That is not the final thing I want to remember about him. So on top of the grief, being a single mother, having to start our lives over, and moving closer to family so me and the kiddo aren’t alone, I now have this daunting task. It’s so sad. I have great memories to hold on to, his love during his life has meant the world to me, so I hope this doesn’t look like I’m angry, but after having to help clean out quite a few relative’s houses after they died and now having to face my husband’s hoarding and mess, I have vowed never to do this to my daughter and family. Grief is awful & exhausting enough without having to have a huge task lie that facing you.
I have been doing this for along time And didn't even know it was a thing or there was a name to it. Its pretty much just common sense. I don't want anyone to be worried about my shit,
Thank you for this video. It's been weighing heavy on my mind to start decluttering and getting rid of things so that my brother doesn't have to deal with them when I'm gone. I started watching minimalization videos, but in the back of my mind...it's really the Swedish death cleaning that I want to do. I just didn't know there was a term for it until now. I am recently divorced and my ex-husband passed away shortly thereafter, so I've ended up with a lot of unnecessary things. And even though I'm only 58 years old, I have so much clutter, that it's been on my mind to get rid of it now and on my own terms. I've decided to gather it up and make the 2 hour trip to donate it to a thrift store that funds an animal shelter and rescue that is close to my heart. I fostered a precious dog for the rescue several years ago. I know it's a great organization and I know I'll be more willing to let go of stuff, knowing that it will help save more precious animals. I appreciate this video and knowing more about this. Thank you for sharing.
It’s always so much easier when you know your stuff is going to a great cause. 💖 Best of luck on your decluttering journey. I’m sure at times it will be tough, but ultimately very rewarding.
I love this! When my great grandmother started to get dementia, she put all her treasures in a cupboard and asked all the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to come and choose something. Everything else non-essential got culled. I got a glass pig with a half penny in it. It's the one thing I really feel strongly about, but I have it on display, knowing it could befall an accident at any time, because you can't enjoy it if it's safe in a box somewhere. I hope someday it will make it to my treasure cupboard for loved ones to choose from. Everything else (and there's lots!) needs to go in the bin. This is a good reminder to start that process off early ;)
My mother had a huge house, and it was packed with thrift store stuff. Her approach was to accumulate as much stuff as possible. While clean up was a lot of physical work, it was straight forward emotionally. Dump everything in the garage and call in the thrift store with a moving truck to take it all back. When they were done, call in a 40' dumpster. If you have enough stuff, the kids will be glad to get rid of it.
I have been thinking this way for a while. My husband and I have so much junk that I often say to him if something happens to us do you really think it's fair to leave our son to sort through all of our crap. We're in a 3700 sq. ft. home which seems to me to be very cluttered. I have slowly been going through my stuff but I can't seem to convince my hubby. I have not been well on and off for years so I do sometimes worry about when I'm gone......not that I foresee it in the near future....lol! I also have been inspiring my dear 80 year old mother! She has three step children who I encourge her to give things to......especially things that belonged to their father. I really don't think there's anything wrong with thinking about your future and making it easier for your children. Of course that doesn't mean that I'm going to get rid of things that still spark joy in me. Just keep the things you love and get rid of the rest.....sounds like an easy concept.....now to get started!
Well done you for being proactive about it. Even if your husband isn't on board, you can still make a significant difference just by focusing on your own efforts. My husband never decluttered all that much but he still helped out here and there, and I got rid of plenty on my own. Enough to make a noticeable dent. Best of luck!
This was VERY helpful! When my mom died, it was so difficult going through her stuff, deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. She lived in an apartment for the elderly, so our time to tackle this huge task was limited which only added to the stress. I need to do this! I don't want to leave my girls in that situation.
I like this concept. I plan to make a video of the things I have that are valuable...heirlooms, etc. All the things I want kept in the family. If they dont want to keep them (all my things from Africa, for example), give it to someone who will appreciate it. I've had to clean out my dad's and brother's homes after they died. A daunting task. I actually decluttered by walking in my home and saying, "if I inherited everything in this house, what things would I keep and what would I donate?" Discovered that I am dissatisfied with at least 1/2 of my furniture.
I think we should have both the konmari method and swedish death cleaning. As much as it makes sense we cant buy things thinking will it helpful for others after I am dead and gone when i probably will leave this world after about 50 years. I believe in a minimalist life style. Helps me live my life by investing in things I like to do than clean and organise things that I dont need .. that way even if I were to die tomorrow there is just minimal stuff to get rid off
We filled 3 6m2 skip bins from my mother in laws house after we'd had the antique dealer and the second hand dealers through and having two garage sales. It took us nearly two weeks and it was exhausting. We learnt exactly how much of a flawed human being she was as well through her diaries which she'd kept for over 60 years. Not that I'm that flash myself but it explained a lot. At nearly 70 now I've started the process of getting rid of my crap as the thought of strangers going through my life slightly uncomfortable, lol.
Great video. My aunty asked me if anything ever happened to her that I need to take all her journals and get rid of them . If you don’t want something now why wait till you are not around? Ask your loved ones if they want it .
Swedish Death Cleaning is actually a method of decluttering and cleaning. You get rid of things that you currently no longer want or need, while you are here, so that other people will not have to after you die. Read “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” (January 2018, Scribner), Margareta Magnusson. Personally, I think it is a combination of many different methods of dealing with everyday household items. You do it so that family or loved ones do not have the task of dealing with your stuff after you die. It also makes sense that you do it before you reach a point in your life that you need to downsize or possibly move into the care of a family member, assisted living, or nursing home. You need to do it while you are mentally capable of making decisions and can do the work yourself. I remember when both of my husband’s parents went into a nursing home. As the closest son, he had to deal with all their accumulated household items, property, and legal stuff---a nightmare. After all this happened, unknowingly, I started doing the Swedish Death Cleaning Method in my own home. It is an ongoing process. Polly Wilson’s Method (my mom’s method) has always been my way of decluttering/cleaning. Now, 60 years later, I am finding the famous Konmarie Method mirrors my mom’s method with certain aspects of Swedish Death Cleaning being included. The best takeaway that I have from the Peter Walsh Method is this; only buy something for which you have a need and a space (home) for within your home. Over the years, I have enjoyed the many DIY decluttering programs on television and all the makeovers. I have now developed my own Adaptive Organization Method including a One Minute Maintenance Challenge. It is a combination of personally employed decluttering/organizing methods in my life. The best thing is this, no matter which method(s) you choose, “getting up off that thing” and “getting it done” makes life so much simpler for you, your family, your loved ones, and your friends. In closing, pick what organizational/decluttering method works for you best. Enjoy your family and friends. Play! Live! Enjoy!
I so wish my dear mother had done this. We often talked about it, but she couldn't do it--for psychological and physical reasons. Now I'm left with 93 years of accumulated precious things and detritus, and I've no attic to store it in. In a way, it's a blessing, as it makes letting Mom go more gradual. But I hereby swear after I'm done clearing my mother's house, I am clearing mine! This Swedish Death Cleaning is exactly what I need--and what I'm mad that my mother never did, even when she knew, as she put it, "every new day was a surprise and a gift."
After my friend’s hoarding mom passed, leaving him with years of work, decluttering, I’ve been working on my decluttering for this exact reason. Just found this whole KonMari method. It’s all helpful if it helps me release stuff I don’t need.
Wow, I didn’t know about this methode. I like it. Death cleaning! Here I go! Only I have a lot of clothes, I don’t want to throw them away, for the rest I dont own a lot of stuff but there is always room for improvement
It seems to me that both have their merits... BUT .. I don't see them as an EITHER/OR situation. Death Cleaning is about bringing OTHERS JOY.... while Kon-Mari is about bringing ME Joy. IF I knew I were dying (of course we all are aren't we :p ) I would see no need to keep quite so many socks... or plant pots. Death Cleaning... imho ... puts more emphasis on GETTING RID OF...(for others sake), than KEEPING (for my own sake). Also... I don't necessarily put the Kon-Mari method into the *Minimalist* catagory.... Of course Minimalists CAN USE the Kon- Mari method BUT they are fundamentally DIFFERENT. There are certainly a lot of Cross-Over techniques. Both can lead to spiritual growth by learning how to DETACH from things ... that is SO freeing.
As a caretaker for my grandparents, I TOTALLY relate! "Grandpa can I throw away this old nasty cutting board that's been under the fridge for 10 years? No?... put it back?" 🙄 chucks it behind his back
Much rather be sparking joy than organizing my space according to the moment of my burial and the likes of others that I as well might be totally wrong about.
What I love about the Konmari methode is that one leaves only those things that sparks joy within yourself, in the Swedish methode your deciding for others what they would like to have. I know what sparks joy in me, that was hard enough, I couldn’t include others in the equation.
In my opinion the two most stressful aspects of dealing with death and dying are: sitting vigil at the side of a dear one who is actively dying and, cleaning out the possessions of the recently dearly departed. I think that parceling out some of your possessions to your nearest and dearest while you are all healthy enough to enjoy the giving and receiving is a great way to lighten the load...as long as what is given is truly let go and what is received is truly wanted and appreciated. It is a drag when a "gift" isn't really a "gift". : 0)
I absolutely agree. I think it's great to invite your nearest and dearest to choose things from your belongings that they cherish, and then make sure they know it's OK to just box up the rest and dump or donate it. I suppose the only problem with that is that it assumes we all know when we're going to die and we'll have the time, energy, and mental capability to prepare for it.
I have watched many of the Swedish death cleaning synopsis videos on YT and I would like to say this is the only one I was able to glean real info from without a bunch of extra personal details. I appreciate that, and you! New follower 💚
I'd ask myself "if I died and my next of kin found this would I be mortified" 😂
Goodness, yes. I've a lot of journal burning to do. 😂
Hysterical - I'm lovin' the play on words...
Hahaha!!! My husband’s father left a picture of himself naked for his youngest to find while going through his stuff. She was so disgusted she immediately tore it up. But my husband wonders why he felt the need to do such a thing, and also he had to laugh at the brazenness of it.
😆😆😆😆
😂
There are merits to both methods. When my pack rat/hoarder dad died at 93, my brother and I filled 11-1/2 tons of dumpsters, countless trash barrels, and had an estate sale. It was beyond frustrating; my anger had me in therapy for a while. Do not leave your loved ones to that fate.
On the other hand, Konmarie worked for me as order calms me and gives me a sense of accomplishment.
I can relate to this. A hoarder friend passed away two years ago and I still remember the stress and frustration I felt having to go through her stuff (mother's wedding ring found among flyers she'd saved in large tubs, birth certificate found among dirty laudry, etc. ). Each load to the dumpster made me feel her loss over again. I vowed I would never leave my friends and family with that burden. I agree, both approaches have value.
Omg! I empathize. Dang!!!! I had to clean out my dad’s trailer and we almost needed a hazmat suit to go in there. Absolutely utter chaos. Days and days over a good month and half. It was beyond frustrating. No one understands the amount of trauma inducing stress of cleaning up someone’s mess until you have to do it yourself. It was awful. So hugs to you for surviving such an ordeal. My god. I think yours belonged on an episode of hoarders.
I'm in favour of this having had to clear out my mums house when she passed this woman kept everything including her first rent book, 38 sweaters, my brother original blood donors card along with many other strange and exotic things, it drove me mad because they brought back so many memories for me and took a lot to heart wrenching to get rid of it all. After I had finished it I went through every cupboard and closet and cleared out anything that did not enrich my life currently and bore in mind I did not need stuff to remember things by that what my brain is for, I decided that no one would every sob their hearts out over my stuff when I'm gone I love them to much for that. Regular Death Cleaner Extraordinaire.
This is the most real comment section I’ve ever been a part of. I feel like I found my tribe. You guys are all amazing who have lived through cleaning up after someone else’s mess. I am so happy we can have a real conversation about this horrific situation that continues to happen to people everywhere but is never talked about.
Yes, it's always so helpful when people are honest and open about their experiences. Makes others feel less alone, and provides some words of wisdom.
I thought Swedish death cleaning was cleaning so much you might die from cleaning, I was wrong lol!
😂 In that case I'll DEFINITELY be sticking to the KonMari Method. 😂
Love this comment!
Ha ha
That's happened to me a few times!
Dainty Diaries othe
You can do both - get rid of obvious clutter, keep what sparks joy, and have your affairs in order
Exactly, Julie Anderson!
This is what I am thinking of myself
My mother did this, the best thing she ever did for me. I truly appreciated it.
my mum is working on this, too... she loves me .
I am in my sixties and I have done this for my children. Never do I ever want to burden them with anguish and guilt over stuff after I am gone.
When I was a teen I would deep clean my room out of the fear that I would unexpectedly pass away and my family would find all my embarrassing secrets and mess 🤭 I’ve always aimed for a place tidy enough to die in peacefully hahaha
After dealing with both of my parents' things after they passed on, I can honestly say that it alters your perspective on what is valuable, and what other people might want. I'd like to keep those joyous things around me now, but equally, not to have anyone else deal with my sh*t after I'm gone. It's an ever evolving process for me. Really enjoy your videos.
Dealing with my grandmother's house and stuff was so difficult for my mother that she has been gradually death cleaning her own house ever since. When I turned 60 I found that my own joy-sparking stuff had surprisingly turned into anxiety-causing clutter (who IS this person I have become!?!). Every few months now a clearing out mood erupts in me, and I focus on the things I know my daughters will never want and donate them. Laura, your most profound tip for me is the idea that you can pick up something in a store, love it, and LEAVE IT IN THE STORE!!!! I wish I had heard of that idea in my 30's and 40's when I was buying all this stuff!
I say yay to Swedish Death Cleaning. In a way. My sister died of cancer a few years ago. I stayed with her for the final three months of her life. She spent way too much time telling me who she wanted things to go to after she was gone. Instead of talking about our extraordinary life as sisters, she talked about things. These things were going to make her loved ones financially secure - they were more memorabilia. So I passed what she asked to certain people which wasn’t easy or cheap. They lived all over California so I had to get mailing addresses and pack stuff up, mail it off with a (I hope) comforting note. What she failed to do was to pay me back on loans I gave her and her husband for down payment on their house and car. Which is fine. I never really lend to family. In my mind it was a gift and if I get paid back, that would be a unexpected bonus. California is a community property state so her third husband, father of none of her kids legally owned everything when she died - and kept it for a few months and then sold it all. My sister had time to make a will to cover the three months of full time care I gave her, driving her all over Northern and Southern California looking for a cure or a better diagnosis. She kept saying “George (her hubby) will pay you back for all you are spending”. But we all knew George was frugal. I never thought he wouldn’t help me out for the 24/7 nursing care so he could continue to go to work.
Anyway, I digress, my sister worried about things and not really people during her final days. She should have dealt with the things and made sure that her children would see some of the equity in her house... not just her third husband. They had only been married three years. It had been her house.
She passed away shortly before Christmas. I didn’t have it in me to go Christmas shopping and I never wanted to be on my Death bed worrying about where my belongings that are treasures to me should go after I am gone. I had a few very expensive pieces of jewelry that I wore when I went out somewhere special - but I’m getting old and I don’t go out much. So I wrapped them up and gave them to my adult daughters as Christmas gifts. They love them and I know I will not have to give them a thought When I reach my Death bed. My son gets any electronics I have when I die (he has a lot of them already). Death Cleaning is a way to get rid of junk but it can also be a way to make sure your loved ones receive your valuables and you can see them enjoy them.
Corinne Brown I'm sorry to hear about your sister. Thank you for sharing your story!
Oh Corinne, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. Her story is an excellent example of why death cleaning can be so important, and I'm sure it will speak to a lot of people. We spend so much time accumulating stuff and believing that "more is more" that we can often be blind to what a burden it is. I'm sure you've learned a valuable lesson from your sister's experience. I know I have. x
Thank you so much. The experience with my sister was certainly watching the worst cancer taker her life that I have ever seen. I meant to say her possessions were not going to make anyone financially secure. They were trinkets really. Her prayer box,, antique desk she treasured. Just things. But she knew she would have no control after her death - she had to make sure I knew where she wanted them to go. She could have contacted a lawyer and made sure her daughters received some of the equity when her house. It was hers house. She did not legally protect it and the moment she died it belonged to her husband (they had been married a short time when she she died). I’m not angry. She did not know. We don’t come from a family that is college educated folks. I knew, but my sister was obsessed with little trinkets that meant so much to her.
I never want that to happen to me. So anything of value has already been given to my kids and I’m not really that old (65) . I get to watch my daughters enjoy my jewelry and if I want to wear it,, I can just borrow it from them. My “loved by me only” stuff like my full set of all versions of Vintage Nancy Drew books have? I have written down the one person I would like them to be offered to and if she doesn’t want them - sell, donate, whatever. That will not diminish the life I lived or the love I had for people in my life. It’s just stuff.
My sister taught me a lot in life. We had a bond the will never be broken. That is what I regret. That we talked about things instead of our life. I am the last sibling and my childhood friend is gone so I can’t say to anyone “ remember when....? . “. It’s just me to remember. Experiences, feelings, people we love. Those are so much more valuable that things (except my bullet journal supplies - nobody touched those. Ha Ha ha
Such a poignant story. Your comments are so insightful. It's obvious your sister meant a lot to you, and that you miss her terribly. And also that she taught you a lot, even if some of it was inadvertent. What you should be particularly proud of is the fact that you actually listened and learned. A lot of people don't, and then go on to make the same mistakes. A college education doesn't buy you the kind of common sense and the depth of feeling and understanding you've displayed. Those are priceless, and I'm so glad you're passing them to your children.
Corinne Brown I'm so sorry to hear your story, but very glad that you told it, as it certainly contains an important message. Thank you for sharing it.
I've been Swedish Death cleaning without realizing I was trendy! I have 4 adult children and I'm pretty sure they won't want most of my stuff, so I'm offering them stuff now so I can downsize be done with dusting it. Maybe there's a book there? Love it and love your videos, you always make me smile!
Trendsetter! 😊 I hope your kids know how lucky they are!
I am doing the same thing. Although my kids are getting tired of getting bags of things everytime I see them ;)
It might be a good idea to just leave the stuff out and let them go through it themselves and remove whatever they'd like, rather than just giving them everything. 😊
Rene' S Me too! Who knew we were trendy, first time in my life LOL I got this way after my dad passed and his thoughts were if one is good three is better LOL. I guess I’ve actually been combining both methods all along without knowing it, I only keep what really brings me joy and things that I don’t find joyful I don’t keep around so that my kids will have to deal with it when I’m gone.
piperpratt Exactly! My mother-in-law was a Great Depression survivor and she never threw anything away, so when she passed, we needed a garbage truck to rid the house of worthless things. Bits of foil and string and rinsed out soup cans made sense at one time, but she could never let go of that mentality. I told my kids about this over Thanksgiving and they laughed until I said, so okay, what do I have that you'll want? Obviously nothing! I guess that makes death cleaning simple!
I really liked Swedish death cleaning. I was in my late forties at the time & didn’t find it morbid at all. It’s not about getting rid of everything you love in case others won’t want it. It was about asking if people would want the items & if you were just storing them & not enjoying them,on giving them to them now so that you can enjoy seeing their pleasure in receiving it. It was another tool in changing my mindset about stuff & helped rid me of the guilt of not keeping my mother’s treasures when she died. Helped prevent me attaching too much sentiment to my own stuff too. I haven’t missed a single thing that has gone.
I've recently started something similar but I didn't even think about it as death cleaning. We have recently considered moving. We're not in a rush but are just playing with the idea. Now, as I am decluttering, I ask myself if I would want to move this crap. What seemed very important a few months ago, doesn't seem so important now. I love the idea of combining this with Swedish Death Cleaning. I have had to deal with all possessions left by both of my parents and my brother. Years later, I am still hanging on to so many objects that I feel guilty getting rid of, long after I have realized that it is okay to purge them. Swedish Death Cleaning has given me a whole new perspective and has made it possible for me to actually let go of these things.
Since finding your channel (from watching dainty dress diaries) I've pretty much been getting rid of a bag of crap each week. As I clear out each room I put anything I haven't used or worn in a bag that I keep in my hall way. If I haven't pulled it out by the following week I take it to the charity shop. I have cleared out so much stuff. Clothes I kept wearing because I'd forget they made me feel uncomfortable to hair products/makeup I hadn't used in the last 10 years lol I've cleared so much space. I'm down now to my last room. I feel free from my own junk. Thank you. Also following one of your videos I watched I added in 'buffer' time to my day and I now don't rush from work-eat-gym-clean-bed-etc I take my time and enjoy my days a lot more and a lot less stressful. 💪💪💪
Aw, that's brilliant, Tracy! Go you! I have a donation box in the hall closet and as soon as I realise I don't like something or it's too small or it's uncomfortable or whatever, I pop it straight in the box. That's helped a lot.
Also, isn't Catherine great? Her Instagram feed gives me all the heart eyes.
I feel like "spark joy" is more something you do for yourself (based around your own happiness - you things you like and make you happy) and death cleaning is more something you do for others. I'm 22, so currently more of a "spark joy" girl, but maybe in 50 years or so I'll move to the death cleaning side :P
I completely agree with that assessment. And yes, she suggests 65 is a good age to start. 😉
@@HowToGYST except that you never know when you will go...long life is not a promise...I lost several friends before they were 30. I'm not saying no fun, but that you're doing your older self a favor by being discriminating about collecting now cus dang it's tiring to declutter in later life!
KonMari is about living with only the things you love, while Swedish Death Cleaning is about living with the things that you think others will love. I think it's clear which is a healthier way to live. If my loved ones did the KonMari method, and lived with just a small amount items that really brought them joy, then I would have no problem cleaning up after them when they've passed. They lived surrounded by joy and didn't have clutter. I don't have to wonder. I think that Swedish Death Cleaning is better than nothing, but KonMari is better still. I want my loved ones to surround themselves with what they love, not think of me instead.
I think living by konmari method doesnt exacly mean living with a small amount of stuff because it brings me joy to be surrounded by a lot of stuff which i love. So if i reach my goal with having a lot of stuff i would maybe need to do a death clean, but its a bit difficult to know when your going to die and i wouldnt want to live a longer time without my stuff. Hope this makes sence >_
If I followed the Death Cleaning method I’d have to get rid of my vintage Pyrex dishes I use and love, because I am damn sure my son won’t want them. This just seems ridiculous. I’d rather have less but things I love, and then my son would not have to go through piles of junk, and I can enjoy my treasures while I am still alive.
@@taraannegarcia you should read the death cleaning book. This vlogger did it a disservice
@@taraannegarcia you don't have to get rid of anything. It's a way to get rid of burdensome stuff by looking at it differently.
Not worrying about burdening my family and leaving behind potentially hurtful items (journals, photos, texts) sparks joy for me. I don't ever want to be lying in the hospital knowing someone is in my bedroom going through my stuff because I'm never going home. Can you imagine?
It's just stuff. It's too expensive
I know this is an old video, but this is the exact reason I started decluttering....when I saw my Mom and Dad having so much trouble going through my Grandparents house.
I cleaned up after both of my parents. It inspired me to declutter my home by pretending I was dead and I was the someone who had to clean up after me. There's so much you don't need once your're gone, and stuff you might be embarrassed for someone else to see. (Would they keep a promise to not read my journals?) I kept my stationery and craft things I'd use before my time is up.
I agree completely. But on re-reading, I have to smile: "There's so much you don't need once you're gone" True! When you're gone, you don't need any of it!
It was liberating! Pretending I was gone peeled away a lot of emotional needs and made me be more present with the stuff I did keep. And I haven't regretted tossing anything I got rid of.
Oooo...that's a good one! 😊Pretending you're dead and are somebody cleaning up after yourself! I think you may have just sparked the NEXT big decluttering philosophy! 😀
Susan D that’s such a good idea, I’m going to try that to see if that makes it easier for me!
This is exactly one of the principles brought up by the author in the Swedish Death Cleaning book (just finished it a couple nights ago). Going through our stuff with the realization that other eyes will be on it once we are gone, and having the power to make decisions about that while still alive.
I'm recently widowed mother of 5 children o was so overwhelmed by all of our things including my husband's work home things I've been decluttering and cleaning because I now live never a special occasion.
So I wear the vintage dresses even when I'm cleaning. I use the special cups on the dresser.
Just wanted to say thank you for your help x
Didn't even realize this was a Swedish thing... I already do this! Maybe it's because I have experience dealing with someone's stuff after they're gonna. My grandma died almost exactly 10 years ago and we're _still_ going through her belongings.
Grandma was a child of the Depression as well as the child of immigrants who grew up in extreme poverty, so she learned from a young age to never throw anything away. She would keep and wear a shirt 'til it could no longer be mended, then cut the buttons off and keep the scraps of fabric because you never know when you might need those things! There's a lot to admire about that frugal mindset, but it can easily lead to hoarding in this day and age.
Wow, this is exactly why I am in the process of de-cluttering my home. I love having a name for it that really does sound cool. Asking the question, "Will my loved ones be glad I kept this?" is helping me to pare down even more. Thanks!
Swedish death cleaning is not aimed at twenty somethings, it’s for us old people. I wish my dad had read this book. It took months to get rid of all of his stuff at a time when siblings were upset and arguing about memories. It’s not so easy as “rent a dumpster” when you know that your you dad valued this or that. Throwing it away feels like you are throwing away his memory. Death cleaning can be a gift that we give our children. If you are young, by all means, roll those undies and hug those old yoga pants goodbye. But if you’re old, death clean your house.
Not sure where the age reference comes from but I kissed my 20s goodbye a long time ago. 😂 The point she makes in the book is that none of us knows when we're going to die. It's not just the old who pass away. Obviously the older you get, the more pressing it becomes, but I don't think anyone should wait until they're "old" to get started with decluttering. I'm so sorry you lost your father though, that must have been terribly hard especially, as you say, with siblings who were trying to come to terms with it. It's a very difficult time.
How to Get Your Shit Together, I think that perhaps you misunderstood part of Phoebe Graveyard's message. When she says to roll your undies and hug your old yoga pants, she is referring to KonMari, so she is totally endorsing decluttering when you're young. It's true, as you say, that none of us knows when we're going to die, but we are not meant to spend our youth preparing for our death. I, too, believe that Swedish Death Cleaning is for us oldies. I am 66, a very good age to begin this process. And I am doubly blessed that I can KonMari & Swedish Death Clean at the same time. (I have read both books.)
I just recently discovered your channel and I love your messages and your delivery! I am excited to read more.
Oh, I definitely understood. I was just relaying and clarifying what the book says - that death cleaning is for every age and is not limited to older people. But I agree that it's not something that should weigh heavily on younger minds.
Welcome to the channel and thanks so much! 😁
@@HowToGYST but you do look to be in your twenties.
I like this idea generally. It’s an o”thers centered” approach which I think is healthy. Maybe it depends on your personality but seeing things this way (after some of her friends died and left behind so much stuff) was the only way of thinking that finally allowed my mom to let us help clearing out her house.
Good idea. My Mum passed away in the year 2000 and I think she secretly new she was ill. She,d sorted out all of her things and got rid of lots of stuff. Her little flat was so organised bless her and it did make the devastating task of clearing out so much easier.
I remember when my mom passed on, she had downsized and it was still such a toll.
Hmm, I wrote a comment and it's disappeared. Sorry if it shows up as a reply under someone else's comment.
The showdown between KonMari and Death Cleaning made me remember a movie I watched a few years ago. It's called Tavarataivas, (released as My Stuff in English). A man takes every one of his possessions from his comb to his refrigerator and puts them in a storage unit. His premise is that for one year he will buy nothing but essential disposable/consumable supplies (food, tp etc.) , and he will take ONE possession out of the storage unit every day. So he stands there starkers and chooses a long coat and goes back to his completely empty apartment. (His tip for his first night's sleep is, "you have to put your legs in the sleeves".)
The movie was certainly very contrived, but I got two things out of it. One, I vicariously felt his extreme joy as he got the 'gift' of the thing he absolutely loved and/or needed every day. A toothbrush, A Mattress! Feeling his grateful delight was amazing. And some days he decided what he had was enough, nothing new was coming to mind, which is also a total flip, what it must be like to own twenty things and think "meh, I'm fine today, nothing for me, thanks."
Two, when I'm decluttering, sometimes instead of asking myself if something sparks joy (or how much my descendants will appreciate a collection of crumpet rings or lightly used sandpaper), I'll think, "How many years would I have to go back to the storage unit before this thing's day would come? Could I even live long enough to bring this ratty dish towel back into my life?"
What an interesting approach in your last lines to think about if you would even live long enough to bring it back. I'll take that with me on my decluttering journey!
Nerak Rellim I love this!!
Wow. That will really make you think! My family and I have moved several times for work in the 8 years we have been married. There were 3 instances in which the majority of our belongings had to be left in storage while we went across the country. What happens is that you realize how little of it you need. You come back and get rid of 50-75% of it. After about 8 or 10 moves you get down to the things that you really like. I kind of learned KonMari by necessity even though I had never heard the term 😆
I remember that film! When he got the mattress!
Hahaha....
Get video. When I turned 50 I destroyed my journals. I certainly don’t want my kids or grandchildren reading about my younger self! 😳
I've had to go through a few houses and it's overwhelming to deal with all that. I've been Swedish Death Cleaning and its a different level of Decluttering that I'm very happy with. I am recently an empty nester so I'm at stage where I can really let go of stuff. I think it's harder when you are still raising your kids.
I can see the utility of this but I I don't think it for me. I love the konmari method, it is the ONLY think that got me on the right path but I would not feel joy about the process in death cleaning, it is too morbid. I'll give my kids permission to rent a dumpster after I am gone and toss what they don't want so they don't have to feel guilty.
I agree, I'd much rather focus on the here and now. And I think the KonMari Method has already done a fine job of reducing my belongings and, therefore, reducing the burden of "too much stuff to go through" after I'm gone.
totally agree. no joy in thinking about death the entire time you are trying to do something positive for your life.
Interestingly that is exactly what I've been trying to do for 6 yrs. Mom died, I inherited her house and 60 yrs of crap. I have been so Stuck. "My" house is barely functional. I started watching these videos last month bc I can't keep living this way. Mom would not let me get rid of ANYTHING before she died. (She knew she was dying). So difficult.
I actually think they work hand in hand. Why use one method when you don’t have to. What I like about this method is it isn’t just about you and your joy it’s about bringing joy to others as well.
Well, they might not need to feel guilty, but cleaning up someone else's stuff is a lot of work whether they have permission or not. Are those left behind going to enjoy having to deal with that? Instead of mourning and remembrances, the time after death will be working out how to rent dumpsters and get all the stuff out. Is it more generous (not morbid) to get our things in order so when we do die (which is inevitable), we leave the least burden possible? I think yes. So personally I think a mix of the 2 methods is probably the ideal solution.
I have delt with a couple of houses of stuff, and I will tell you that cleaning out drawers of old birthday/holiday cards does make me more ruthless with my own stuff. In the back of my mind I think, "I don't want anyone having to throw out drawers of my cards after I'm gone.". It really does cause me to not hold on to things as much as I used to.
Started my own death cleaning at the ripe old age of 31. Hadn’t heard of Swedish Death Cleaning or the KonMari method but left New Zealand after burying Mum with a deep need to purge my house of anything that wasn’t useful or that I loved. I do a bit of both I suppose - do I love this? Can my family sell this or use it if I die tomorrow? I’ve a freaking awesome brooch collection that I know my sisters would happily take ownership of or be able to sell the ones that aren’t them and I dumped all but Mum and Dads birth, marriage and death certificates and a few items of theirs that held sentimental value for me. I’m starting to feel so free and I’ve just one room left to do 🎉
And seeing your videos every week helps me tune back into why I’m doing this. Thank you
I didn't know any of the methods but I felt that there were tasks to be done in my life. I happened to see some videos about the Koreans' way of life and I liked the simple way they organized their houses and how they lived only with what they needed. This helped me to give myself and my home an objective, because I realized that I "lacked" it. I realized that I had too much stuff, kept things for a life I no longer had (I got divorced, started living alone with my son and continued to keep things that served a bigger family and not my daily reality), things that carried memories or hopes and that I was preventing myself from living in the here and now, because I lived either in the past or in expectation of another reality. I decided to live in the here and now and that allowed me to make many decisions and changes that had to be made. I was always organized naturally, so it wasn't even difficult, it was just like everything finally fitting together. The part of the sweedish death cleaning (which I didn't even know existed) had to do with the fact that I had a serious illness, still being treated and the various mental processes associated with this type of situation. I spontaneously realized this situation of "travelling light" and what things, if I died, I would like it to be seen by my son or my family. Basically it was seeing myself (or imagining being seen) with the eyes of others. It is a very interesting exercise. One day, after I'm gone, I don't want them to get attached to things, they can throw everything away - it's just things. I realized that life is moving towards nothingness and that, for that reason, things can weight too much and steal our precious energy. I chose to travel light. So I guess my life is a mix of minimalism & konmari method & sweedish death cleaning, lolol
I’ve been doing a bit of both without realising I was death cleaning too. What we really need is ways to inspire others/ our parents to do this!
I can't imagine it's the easiest of topics to broach with a parent or older relative. But I think the popularity of books like this will make it much more of a "public" and "open" discussion. People who may have never considered it before might read an article about it or see a segment on TV. And that might get them thinking.
I'd really love to learn ways to inspire my mother in law. Her health isn't great and she is a hoarder. My husband and I lived close for awhile so we were able to sort some stuff with her, but now that we live far away, it has been quite difficult to provide all the hands-on help she needs.
M 560 Literally a hoarder?
As a former hospice chaplain I have seen so much agony in families feeling guilt for simply getting rid of stuff. I have five million journals 😔 You and I may end up having some juicy details of our biographies published posthumously 😂
I say yay. 😆 Death doesn't make me feel sad though. I say, whatever works to inspire you to do your best! One man's medicine is another's poison. I also learned a lot from Flylady years before Konmari became the trend. All have given me good nuggets.
I like it as something to do AFTER using a different method. I'd like to KonMari my place, then go through and see if there's anything that would just be a pain for anyone who had to go through my stuff. Though I'll probably make an exception for papers. I keep way too many, so including Death Cleaning at the same time as the KonMari for that category would help me get rid of things that frankly no one needs but I would be inclined to hold on to.
I've had plans for awhile to make a "death box" with all the info anyone could need (including things like whether I've arranged for someone to take care of my pet and specific care instructions/medical records, how to claim any life insurance, any key info they may need like passwords, how to inform my friends of my death, who all has spare keys that need to be returned to the landlord, what to do with any social profiles, if I had a blog I'd probably have a pre-written post available to inform any followers with little effort... basically a comprehensive guide to all the unexpected chores that come along with death to make things as easy as possible). Does the book have any information on this sort of preparation? I'm 23, but death doesn't discriminate too much and I've always been the anxious, over-prepared type, lol. I won't truly feel like I have my entire life in order until the death box is done.
Not sure how to deal with journals. Need to keep them in a contained box with a destructive device that gets triggered if my heart stops, lol.
I totally relate to what you wrote about the journals, lol! Whoever invents that device will be rich indeed!
I'm definitly KonMari. As long as I live, I want to live joyfully, so "does it spark joy" is the right question for me. If I love things that nobody else in my family loves, I would try to make it clear to them that it's totally ok for me if after my death they throw it all away without even looking at it. But I wouldn't throw them away myself if I still like and use these things.
I try to downsize things because it serves me to live rather minimalistic. I think this will lessen the burden for the next generation also, but I don't need this thought as a motivation to declutter
I agree, I think our own wants and needs should take priority, and what brings joy to us in the here and now. But I suppose it's an extra dimension that may help cement a decision if someone's on the fence about an item. And I do think that leaving clear instructions is a great idea and will really help loved ones when the time comes.
After my mother died there was so much to clear out in her house that I literally had nightmares about it. I don't want my children to have to go through that. I think the biblical phrase is 'putting your house in order'. I've been trying to do that for years but I find it very difficult. I need help.
I raised my nearest and dearest, which involved a lot of cleaning up after them. So it gives me a great feeling of satisfaction to think that they will have to clean up after me when I am gone.
On holiday for a month with just a cabin size case and a hand bag. I read "Goodbye Things" on the journey. Can't see a contradiction between the methods. Sure I have plenty of stuff that neither sparks joy nor would be loved by my children.
My mother gave my brother and I back gifts we had given her well before she died.
Just for a month it's great having just a case of clothes and looking forward to some more clearing out at home.
Your videos are great.
I'm so jealous! With Christmas coming up, I'll be doing another big clear-out soon too. I loved how our house looked before our shipping container of stuff arrived over from Ireland, so I'm going to keep that in mind as I go through everything.
P.S. I recently read "Goodbye, Things". I found it so fascinating that he eventually also started getting rid of things that brought him joy.
How to Get Your Shit Together Yes rooms look a lot bigger without so much in them.
I wouldn't go as far as he does in Goodbye Things and certainly wouldn't want my clothes to be anything like a uniform.
I would like my bedroom to be a bit more like a hotel room, clear surfaces and no distractions.
My husband is retired and I am on the verge of retiring. By the end of 2018 we had gone through the house and disposed of, in one form or another, 80% of all the stuff. We feel very liberated... but even now I glance around at times and spot something that for some unknown reason annoys me. For a few days now, it's a decorative pillow located in the office. Come trash day, out it goes. Less stuff has made me acutely aware of what I truly value. My mother had Alzheimer's and when she died, my sister and I each kept a couple of little trinkets of hers. It was not difficult for us to dispose of anything she owned... she no longer enjoyed it, remembered it, or cared. What she did leave us of value was wonderful memories and great stories to tell.
The thumbnail for this video is so good :')
Couldn't pass up the opportunity to get more fun out of the skeleton I bought for Halloween! I sent various random pictures to my husband while he was at work. He asked if I'd had enough sleep. 😂
I spent the last 5 years clearing out my brother's and the wrinklies homes, i found it difficult to throw away their treasured stuff and ended up with a house you could hardly move in. So now I'm in the middle of Swedish KonMarie deathcleaning and ...staging my house to sell (downsizing).
When you accept it's just 'stuff' it's easy to let go of it. Don't leave a ton of mess for your kids to sort. It's too painful. And don't read the journal's....label 'burn on death'.. ..to see ourselves as others see us and what your loved ones REALLY thought, nobody in the family needs that! indeed!!!!! Marty
PS, my Swedish relatives left all sorts of crap ;-) I actually have an old trunk from Sweden that came over in 1910.
My husband's Swedish family are all hoarders. I despair of how to handle my in-laws' home when the time comes.
Fly Lady and Kon Marie methods work wonderfully.
It's the end of 2019 and I'm just hearing about Swedish death cleaning. I've already done the KonMari method (early 2019) and it did wonders on my cloths and some of my stuff. Now I'm going through and doing it again but with the thought " I don't want my family to have to trash most of this stuff if/when I die. I'm in my 40's so hopefuly that is going to be a while. :) Thanks for the video.
You're very welcome. I've noticed I've started asking myself what will happen to something when I'm gone. Often stops me from buying something new.
This is not what I was expecting at all haha. This hit close to home because growing up I had a lot of close family deaths and spent a lot of time cleaning out houses, which takes forever and a team of people even for tidier people. I could see this being helpful but emotionally is hard to think about. Brb, let me toss out my box full of random paper notes so nobody cleaning out my house thinks I've gone mad omg
I had to clean out my parents house to sell it. I had to go through 61 yrs of collecting stuff. After my brother and I took what we wanted, there was a TON of stuff. I tell people now to get rid of your crap so your kids don’t have to do it!
As a Swedish woman i wish i had read about either of these two metods befor i lost 2 of my loved ones. No instead im stuck with pilled up boxes of there stuff that i thought i night wanna keep but now dredding to go thought. So better hope i live healthy and til my 100s so i have gotten the clutter down.
Cleaning up after a deceased loved one is a rite of passage. I did mine; they can do theirs. It is part of how we say good-bye. ^_^
On the other hand, there IS stuff I do not want my son to go through.
Yay to Swedish Death Cleaning! I helped my parents take care of multiple relatives' belongings after their passing. It was grueling, and difficult in many ways. I'd personally continue to declutter like I do, and I'll be putting in my will(i own a lot of books) that any books my family doesn't want to keep donate to a library so someone enjoys them. They can do the same thing with media such as music and movies.
I'm not looking forward to helping future relatives since we have some packrats in the family, so i wish they'd do this.
I think it's so great to leave clear instructions. As you say, the process can be gruelling. Apart from the physical effort, there's the mental anguish associated with it. It just goes to show that clutter isn't always a person problem; it can have a negative effect on others too.
Bad news book lover. Unless you have some awesomely collectible books, libraries probably don’t want them. I struggled with getting rid of many books until I found out that a local Habitat restore kept and sold what was valuable in that way, and the rest are shredded to make cellulose fill insulation for homes. So the non-collectibles go to an honorable purpose instead of the landfill. I was taught to honor books. But it is not the world we live in now.
Speaking of journals, When my grandmother passed in 2012 (at age 96) we went through her journals, and got to read entries about when her and my grandfather met (who passed in the early 2000's), and their dates. It was really comforting to see her handwriting saying that she knew she would marry him after their first date in the 1930's. I am not sure which of my Aunt's or Uncle's ended up with the journals, but seeing her words after her passing was really nice!
Oh my goodness, how wonderful! A true treasure. 💖
I am bipolar, and I used to do this when I decided I actually wanted to kill myself so that my family didn't have to deal with my stuff. I would desgingate specific boxes to people I love. By the time I got decluttered and organized I was happy again hahahaha. Although it was always a bummer when I threw out all my sex toys 👏every 👏single👏 time 😂 Now, instead of deciding to kill myself - I just decide to do my cleaning ritual and it works. I always end up refreshed and optimistic.
Sounds morbid but such is life.
Wow
@@valh3503 Too real? Haha I do that.... At least my best friend knows that if I give her a box of sex toys marked "eBay", that she needs to call my therapist 😂😂😂
ShiPolar's Life Bloopers such is life. So true. You have come out the other side with much wisdom. I'm proud of you.
@@ladymaiden2308 Thank you so much 💖
I'm laughing & crying about this at the same time. Thank you for being so real. Cleaning IS good therapy.
Funny funny...Skelton cleaning, washing dishes LOL
"If I should die before I wake please throw my journal in the lake".
You pronounced death cleaning in swedish very well for an english speaker haha, love your vids
Oh, thank you! I think I'll still do a bit of brushing up before I visit though. 😉
I'm *just* starting to try to GM(y)ST. Basically just tired of all the clutter. So, started with a bit of a combo of both methods. When I came across an item that was a bit sentimental to me, I put it aside to keep it as it did spark sentiment, then thought about it. It was essentially a piece of cloth, it would mean nothing to anyone else but me. I have photos of me wearing it, no one else would ever want it, I no longer use it, and I thought, about SDC, and realized I needed to let it go. Into the bin it went. Also donated 3/4 of an SUV full of clothes/household items we no longer need/can use/want, and it felt good. Ready to dig in for more soon. So, I think leading with Konmarie, but if in doubt, go through the mental process about why you are keeping it, and who may want it when you are gone is helpful. As a child of a hoarder, I know just how expensive and horrible death cleaning can be. It cost us thousands, and involved a crew of 8 men working for 2 days straight. Don't do that to your kids!
This method makes a lot of sense especially after a few of my family members have died recently and the process of clearing out and feeling guilty for getting rid of someone else's things is not something I would want to put on anyone else!
It's definitely much more appealing and understandable if you've experienced it with someone else.
Having had to clean out the 2 bedroom flat of mymum, I found 20 coats (I have1) same amount of gloves, scarves, hats, shoes. But also3 of each in the kitchen, like cake tins, cheese slicers, etc. it was very tasking, and my firend who helped me realised his loved ones had to do his flat after, and started going through his house. I like to purge once in a while, but crap remains like the pottery from the 1920's I inherited from my nan or bought in charity shops to go with them and they are nice on display, but yeah, will anyone want them except me? I worry most about my cats and where they go after i;m gone, stuff is just stuff. might leave my craftroom in my will to some school orso
I don't see how death cleaning can be useful. If I got rid of everything that I thought my family would not want, I would have absolutely nothing. Nothing. The only useful part maybe to ask yourself, do I want someone to find this item when I'm gone? Live with what gives YOU joy now.
I know this is old comment, but it is insanely useful if you think of it like elderly parents cleaning so their kids don't have to... the stuff in attics and basements and extra rooms and garages that they never got around to, that they procrastinated, stuff that is just stuff. it's not sparking joy, it's just responsibility that somebody needs to take.
@@helpmetosleep I was thinking the same. Its hell to go trough stuff when you are sad and hartbroken
@@lillamy2896, exactly. The last thing I'll want to be doing is ordering dumpsters.
Take it from someone who had to go through the pain and heartache of shutting down someone's life. My husband and I did it after his parents both died within a short time. It is very hard to make decisions about trivial items when you're grieving, overwhelmed and under pressure to get it done. It took us full time for a month and a half, and that was with help. They were not hoarders. They had an ordinarily used and lived in home. It was neat and contained the things they felt they needed to live. We now have to go through boxes and boxes again because we just couldn't part with things then. We decided that we would absolutely NOT do that to our kids. Swedish death cleaning is a great idea. We will definitely be doing it. It's okay to keep things that bring you joy but at the same time, think about what your loved ones(or strangers) would find if you died or became incapacitated unexpectedly. I don't mean embarrassing things, I mean the sheer amount of stuff. For example, in the course of life, a couple where one is an avid reader, crafter and gardener who is involved in community activities, the other is a mechanic/machinist/pilot and history buff who was an only child and also inherited a lot of antiques/heirlooms.... Things add up!!
@@lillamy2896 when my mother died in another country I spent three days in her flat, never left it, and still didn't get it all out. Family were mad at me but what could I do? Took a leave of absence from work etc., I know in my heart I did my best. My sister helped some. Mostly financially which was very welcome with not working. Three days of having to go through books and purses (she liked lots of zippers). She hid money so I had to go through EVERYTHING. When I came home I immediately started chucking out stuff. I realize I need to start again. Glad I found this channel.
I have one daughter and the idea that I would burden her with all of my stuff has helped me let go of junk that does not spark joy!
Both methods make sense to me. A rodent issue forced a deep clean of the garage and attic. Decluttering has been going on for quite a while in this house. Today there were a couple of boxes from my husband's deceased first wife. We saved a few things for our oldest daughter. I'm stepmom. Most we let go of. Those 2 Life magazines had no deep meaning. The 10 year old IEP should have been tossed 10 years ago.
I am storing some things for my oldest. Her new apartment doesn't have a ton of storage space. She asked me to keep my old Kitchen Aid for her when I upgraded this year. Things like that I will keep. Random clutter I won't.
I think the Kon Marie method is AWESOME, but there are rules I can't seem to follow. I think this method should be applied to anything you are "saving for".... insert name there.
I GREATLY ENJOY my craft supplies! When I pass, I would be more than happy if they were all donated. My niece may want to go through them. My daughter in law may also want some. I can't imagine detailed instructions for that. I can imagine my niece, and future daughter in law keeping what they want and sending the rest off to the donation place of their choice. That is truly how I look at most of my stuff.
I chunked ALL my journals, going back 40 years. Since I am 63 & well, you know, could technically die any second, I decided to keep my deepest secrets secret. I don’t think they will be important to me after I die. And I sure don’t want them to become important to someone else! An entire box of them. I don’t miss them & I’m actually relieved that no one will know I was in love with my literature professor for 5 years...ooops.
Linda G You should read about Charlotte Bronte. :)
My therapist suggested that journaling would help me with my mental state. All I could think of was what people would be reading in those journals when I died. I never took her advice - and I’m fairly well balanced after therapy ended. 😂
My grandma passed away this summer and she had the tendency to hoard stuff like clothes, my old schoolwork I tried to get rid of and other stuff. Her room was filled with them. It took a lot of time to get rid of them. Actually now it looks bigger. I still have a ton of papers I need to go through. Since I am busy I haven`t had the time to do it, but this method really puts things into perspective. I wouldn`t want to leave all my stuff to my sister to handle when she is having difficulties already. That would be just mean. I like the idea of only leaving things that others could have use of. I have gotten rid of a ton of clothes already. I need to get storage to put everything, I keep, away properly and organize it. But don`t just think about others, while you do it think about yourself as well. Maybe there is stuff you love and there is someone else also who would appreciate having it after you are gone from this world. I have a locket, my grandma gave me and I really love it. There were 2 of them. My cousin has the other one. Stuff like that help to keep memories alive and sometimes have cool stories behind them.
Sweden is a basd ass country! Since I am in my thirties, and just started the KonMari method I think KonMari is a great start in order to love all your things and enjoy living with them, and then - like in 20 years start with the "dödsstädning" for preparation for the next life. I love your channel! Grettings from Sweden
Swedish Death Cleaning was the "switch" that turned me from not being able to get rid of much to getting rid of half of my stuff about 8 years ago. I've been telling everyone about it ever since. But I didn't know there was a name to it until about 2 years ago. :) It worked for me because my two kids are pretty much minimalists. One who has and needs very little and the other who has a lot (she has 4 kids) but is able to throw out stuff very easily. When I asked them if they wanted anything as I had to get rid of stuff to downsize, neither wanted a single thing of mine. I don't want them to be stuck touching all of my crap after I am gone and having to make a decision about it, especially if they see it as junk. What flipped the switch for me was actually going through my mom's things. She didn't have a lot as she had been cleaning out for years. It was just a reminder that someone will have to go through my stuff. And the KonMari Method makes very little sense to me.
I think the biggest difference is that Swedish death cleaning more applies to the things you have in your attic cellar or cupboards and the conmari focus on your everyday items and clothes. So they more complement each other than anything else. Of course your loved ones won't appreciate your underwear but you still need them (conmarie) but old broken furniture things to get fixed in your cellar or garage that honestly will never be tended to should be tossed rather than saved for your loved ones to deal with (Swedish death cleaning). Petra from Sweden
Yep, I'm with the death cleaning method. I don't think stuff brings you joy. Joy takes effort and comes from within. Having said that, your videos bring me joy, so thank you 😀
You're very welcome. Judging by the rest of the comments though, I think you might be in the minority with the death cleaning. 😉
I personally like the idea of surrounding myself with the things that give me joy while I'm still alive. However, I 've made it extremely clear to my family and friends that once I'm gone, anything that doesn't "spark joy" for them, they can get rid of. Totally guilt free. I'm on a journey to minimalism so hopefully there won't be an overwhelming amount of stuff to go through.
Very interesting looking at the two in comparison!!
Ultimately, it is an act of love. By taking care of what is ours while we can, we are saying "I love you" to those that would have been burdened with the task of dealing with the aftermath of our passing. I know from experience: my husband passed away from ALS.
I think this is where essentialism comes into play. If you're keeping what is essential and what you are using you don't have all the extra to worry about. I do, however, have areas that I allow myself to not limit because I, and my grown children, enjoy these: books, cooking and artistic expression.
You said exactly what I was thinking. They can live in harmony and I believe I will incorporate the two to help me declutter. Thank you!
I’ve started my own version of Swedish Death Cleaning with my photos. I inherited a lot of photos from my parents some of which have people in them I don’t recognise. I have 2 grandchildren and I’m compiling a photographic family tree album for each of them, then the rest can go. As for my lifetime, I’m choosing one or two photos of friends, occasions etc and that’s it. Needless to say, these are paper versions.
That sounds like such a wonderful, thoughtful gift.
I am now in the process of decluttering so my only child will not be burdened after my passing. This Swedish Death Cleaning is just the motivation I need! As you suggested, I plan to incorporate both methods in my cleaning. I’ve already made one pass through my belongings and am making a second pass to declutter more. A lifetime of junk is never another person’s treasure...🤣
It seems to me that the difference with the Konmari method is you are saying “what brings ME joy” and in the Swedish method you are say “what do I have that brings OTHERS joy”. Screw them! MY life MY joy! Go find your own joy. I’ve already instructed my son to keep what he wants and bin the rest. Cleaning up after a family member dies is just par for the course in life. Otherwise we’d all be sitting in empty rooms waiting to die but happy we aren’t leaving a mess.
J White- I completely agree with your answer! This video really resonated with me. My husband has terminal cancer, he has been a hoarder and procrastinator our whole marriage, I call his office the pit of despair! Lol. He really was a good man who has loved me very much and will leave me with some wonderful memories. On the other hand he is also leaving me with a huge mess. Nothing organized, not sure what even some of the stuff is for, and literally piles of paper everywhere. I’ve asked him, when he was well enough to still do it, to go through his things, to please tell me what was what or if there was anything he wanted to go to someone, or at the very least some direction. He doesn’t place much value on material things, one of his good qualities, but much of it is things I in no way would use. He told me it was all mine and I could keep it. The sad truth is, once I lose him, I’m going to have this huge burden of just stuff to go through that never really brought him joy or speaks to me of him. It was just a bunch of stuff he always meant to go through and get rid of and organize what he needed to keep but never did. That is not the final thing I want to remember about him. So on top of the grief, being a single mother, having to start our lives over, and moving closer to family so me and the kiddo aren’t alone, I now have this daunting task. It’s so sad. I have great memories to hold on to, his love during his life has meant the world to me, so I hope this doesn’t look like I’m angry, but after having to help clean out quite a few relative’s houses after they died and now having to face my husband’s hoarding and mess, I have vowed never to do this to my daughter and family. Grief is awful & exhausting enough without having to have a huge task lie that facing you.
I have been doing this for along time And didn't even know it was a thing or there was a name to it. Its pretty much just common sense. I don't want anyone to be worried about my shit,
Yes, I have been purging also. To me it's a matter of not burdening the next person.
Thank you for this video. It's been weighing heavy on my mind to start decluttering and getting rid of things so that my brother doesn't have to deal with them when I'm gone. I started watching minimalization videos, but in the back of my mind...it's really the Swedish death cleaning that I want to do. I just didn't know there was a term for it until now. I am recently divorced and my ex-husband passed away shortly thereafter, so I've ended up with a lot of unnecessary things. And even though I'm only 58 years old, I have so much clutter, that it's been on my mind to get rid of it now and on my own terms. I've decided to gather it up and make the 2 hour trip to donate it to a thrift store that funds an animal shelter and rescue that is close to my heart. I fostered a precious dog for the rescue several years ago. I know it's a great organization and I know I'll be more willing to let go of stuff, knowing that it will help save more precious animals. I appreciate this video and knowing more about this. Thank you for sharing.
It’s always so much easier when you know your stuff is going to a great cause. 💖 Best of luck on your decluttering journey. I’m sure at times it will be tough, but ultimately very rewarding.
I love this! When my great grandmother started to get dementia, she put all her treasures in a cupboard and asked all the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to come and choose something. Everything else non-essential got culled. I got a glass pig with a half penny in it. It's the one thing I really feel strongly about, but I have it on display, knowing it could befall an accident at any time, because you can't enjoy it if it's safe in a box somewhere. I hope someday it will make it to my treasure cupboard for loved ones to choose from. Everything else (and there's lots!) needs to go in the bin. This is a good reminder to start that process off early ;)
I’m doing death cleaning and it was hard in the beginning but now I feel much better about it. Give it a shot
My mother had a huge house, and it was packed with thrift store stuff. Her approach was to accumulate as much stuff as possible. While clean up was a lot of physical work, it was straight forward emotionally. Dump everything in the garage and call in the thrift store with a moving truck to take it all back. When they were done, call in a 40' dumpster. If you have enough stuff, the kids will be glad to get rid of it.
I have been thinking this way for a while. My husband and I have so much junk that I often say to him if something happens to us do you really think it's fair to leave our son to sort through all of our crap. We're in a 3700 sq. ft. home which seems to me to be very cluttered. I have slowly been going through my stuff but I can't seem to convince my hubby. I have not been well on and off for years so I do sometimes worry about when I'm gone......not that I foresee it in the near future....lol! I also have been inspiring my dear 80 year old mother! She has three step children who I encourge her to give things to......especially things that belonged to their father.
I really don't think there's anything wrong with thinking about your future and making it easier for your children.
Of course that doesn't mean that I'm going to get rid of things that still spark joy in me. Just keep the things you love and get rid of the rest.....sounds like an easy concept.....now to get started!
Well done you for being proactive about it. Even if your husband isn't on board, you can still make a significant difference just by focusing on your own efforts. My husband never decluttered all that much but he still helped out here and there, and I got rid of plenty on my own. Enough to make a noticeable dent. Best of luck!
This was VERY helpful! When my mom died, it was so difficult going through her stuff, deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. She lived in an apartment for the elderly, so our time to tackle this huge task was limited which only added to the stress. I need to do this! I don't want to leave my girls in that situation.
I like this concept. I plan to make a video of the things I have that are valuable...heirlooms, etc. All the things I want kept in the family. If they dont want to keep them (all my things from Africa, for example), give it to someone who will appreciate it. I've had to clean out my dad's and brother's homes after they died. A daunting task. I actually decluttered by walking in my home and saying, "if I inherited everything in this house, what things would I keep and what would I donate?" Discovered that I am dissatisfied with at least 1/2 of my furniture.
I have the same love of journals, something to consider the Swedish death cleaning criteria for those.
I think we should have both the konmari method and swedish death cleaning. As much as it makes sense we cant buy things thinking will it helpful for others after I am dead and gone when i probably will leave this world after about 50 years. I believe in a minimalist life style. Helps me live my life by investing in things I like to do than clean and organise things that I dont need .. that way even if I were to die tomorrow there is just minimal stuff to get rid off
We filled 3 6m2 skip bins from my mother in laws house after we'd had the antique dealer and the second hand dealers through and having two garage sales. It took us nearly two weeks and it was exhausting. We learnt exactly how much of a flawed human being she was as well through her diaries which she'd kept for over 60 years. Not that I'm that flash myself but it explained a lot. At nearly 70 now I've started the process of getting rid of my crap as the thought of strangers going through my life slightly uncomfortable, lol.
I do need to clean out, get rid of, throw out a lot of stuff. After the holidays I have something to work on in the cold winter months!!!
Great video.
My aunty asked me if anything ever happened to her that I need to take all her journals and get rid of them .
If you don’t want something now why wait till you are not around? Ask your loved ones if they want it .
Swedish Death Cleaning is actually a method of decluttering and cleaning. You get rid of things that you currently no longer want or need, while you are here, so that other people will not have to after you die. Read “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” (January 2018, Scribner), Margareta Magnusson.
Personally, I think it is a combination of many different methods of dealing with everyday household items. You do it so that family or loved ones do not have the task of dealing with your stuff after you die. It also makes sense that you do it before you reach a point in your life that you need to downsize or possibly move into the care of a family member, assisted living, or nursing home. You need to do it while you are mentally capable of making decisions and can do the work yourself.
I remember when both of my husband’s parents went into a nursing home. As the closest son, he had to deal with all their accumulated household items, property, and legal stuff---a nightmare.
After all this happened, unknowingly, I started doing the Swedish Death Cleaning Method in my own home. It is an ongoing process. Polly Wilson’s Method (my mom’s method) has always been my way of decluttering/cleaning. Now, 60 years later, I am finding the famous Konmarie Method mirrors my mom’s method with certain aspects of Swedish Death Cleaning being included. The best takeaway that I have from the Peter Walsh Method is this; only buy something for which you have a need and a space (home) for within your home.
Over the years, I have enjoyed the many DIY decluttering programs on television and all the makeovers. I have now developed my own Adaptive Organization Method including a One Minute Maintenance Challenge. It is a combination of personally employed decluttering/organizing methods in my life.
The best thing is this, no matter which method(s) you choose, “getting up off that thing” and “getting it done” makes life so much simpler for you, your family, your loved ones, and your friends. In closing, pick what organizational/decluttering method works for you best. Enjoy your family and friends. Play! Live! Enjoy!
I so wish my dear mother had done this. We often talked about it, but she couldn't do it--for psychological and physical reasons. Now I'm left with 93 years of accumulated precious things and detritus, and I've no attic to store it in. In a way, it's a blessing, as it makes letting Mom go more gradual. But I hereby swear after I'm done clearing my mother's house, I am clearing mine! This Swedish Death Cleaning is exactly what I need--and what I'm mad that my mother never did, even when she knew, as she put it, "every new day was a surprise and a gift."
After my friend’s hoarding mom passed, leaving him with years of work, decluttering, I’ve been working on my decluttering for this exact reason. Just found this whole KonMari method. It’s all helpful if it helps me release stuff I don’t need.
Yes! I don't think we quite realise how much stuff we have until we see it all in a pile or have to pack it all up. It's astonishing!
Wow, I didn’t know about this methode. I like it. Death cleaning! Here I go! Only I have a lot of clothes, I don’t want to throw them away, for the rest I dont own a lot of stuff but there is always room for improvement
It seems to me that both have their merits... BUT .. I don't see them as an EITHER/OR situation.
Death Cleaning is about bringing OTHERS JOY.... while Kon-Mari is about bringing ME Joy.
IF I knew I were dying (of course we all are aren't we :p ) I would see no need to keep quite so many socks... or plant pots. Death Cleaning... imho ... puts more emphasis on GETTING RID OF...(for others sake), than KEEPING (for my own sake).
Also... I don't necessarily put the Kon-Mari method into the *Minimalist* catagory.... Of course Minimalists CAN USE the Kon- Mari method BUT they are fundamentally DIFFERENT.
There are certainly a lot of Cross-Over techniques. Both can lead to spiritual growth by learning how to DETACH from things ... that is SO freeing.
As a caretaker for my grandparents, I TOTALLY relate! "Grandpa can I throw away this old nasty cutting board that's been under the fridge for 10 years? No?... put it back?" 🙄 chucks it behind his back
😄😄😄
Much rather be sparking joy than organizing my space according to the moment of my burial and the likes of others that I as well might be totally wrong about.
What I love about the Konmari methode is that one leaves only those things that sparks joy within yourself, in the Swedish methode your deciding for others what they would like to have. I know what sparks joy in me, that was hard enough, I couldn’t include others in the equation.
KonMari teaches you to keep what you love, SDC teaches you to keep what others love. You choose.
In my opinion the two most stressful aspects of dealing with death and dying are: sitting vigil at the side of a dear one who is actively dying and, cleaning out the possessions of the recently dearly departed. I think that parceling out some of your possessions to your nearest and dearest while you are all healthy enough to enjoy the giving and receiving is a great way to lighten the load...as long as what is given is truly let go and what is received is truly wanted and appreciated. It is a drag when a "gift" isn't really a "gift". : 0)
I absolutely agree. I think it's great to invite your nearest and dearest to choose things from your belongings that they cherish, and then make sure they know it's OK to just box up the rest and dump or donate it.
I suppose the only problem with that is that it assumes we all know when we're going to die and we'll have the time, energy, and mental capability to prepare for it.
I have watched many of the Swedish death cleaning synopsis videos on YT and I would like to say this is the only one I was able to glean real info from without a bunch of extra personal details. I appreciate that, and you! New follower 💚
S.D.C. I see the light!