I'm a Cockney (born and raised in Mile End) who is also a linguist (Post grad Dip Ling) and I loved this little sketch. The accents and dialogue are convincing enough but there's not enough of it. What I'd really like to see is a Cockney version of Downton Abbey. Now that would be fun.
Thanks for the explanation. The Cotton Arms open? Afraid I don't know. I've lived in Wellington New Zealand for the past 35 years and I miss London like you wouldn't believe.
You could have spent the time more productive on learning Klingon, High Valyrian and Classical Latin... Any of these languages sounds more aesthetic, too ;)
I wet my pants every time I watch this, I am an older Aussie and have been to the UK many many times and heard the lingo everywhere so I understand everything they are saying.......geezus I wish this was made into a TV series
Thank you for that. I really struggled to find anything to laugh at in this video. But the idea of Nan has really got me thinking! "What you Klingons comin' in 'ere for with that forehead lookin' like a piece of shit? My Jim's a good boy. Leave im alone ya little tosspot! What a Fuckin' Liberty!"
@@DMSProduktionsI'm not saying we don't speak like that (in parts of London) I'm just saying it's not the queen's English. That's how posh fuckers talk.
Spock can't keep a straight face...and the sound of the sliding door / nose wipe is utter genius..and the phrase `..in case it comes on top..` brilliant, inspired and inspirational..
I work with geezers like this every day, there are times when you've finished having a conversation with them you just have to laugh! And then shorts like this turn up from time to time and it's even funnier! I'm working in Plaistow tomorrow and it's not coming soon enough!
+Professicchio Thank you, I would have missed out on that otherwise. That made me laugh more than the original clip!! [edit] _the celebrity moms up by night will be my golf ball ticking_... wtaf!!
This is one of the most hilarious skits I've ever seen in my life. If you've ever spent much time watching proper Star Trek and then you watch this, the contrast is brilliant, literally rolling on the floor haha
"Awright son, jump in the bricks an' we'll have a butchers at this new planet, eh?" "Excuse me?" "Bricks an' mortar, innit? Transporter?" "Oh, right..."
The vulcans would be posh the andorians scottish the delorians welsh the romulans Yorkshire the klingons geordie the ferenghi scouse and if there is a farmer race they can have west country accents. Ive prob thought about this too long.
I may as well give the full glossary: "Early bells" = very early in the morning "Nose around" = reconnaissance "Minces" = mince pies = eyes "Eyes Peeled" = eyes open = alert "Comes on Top" = Circumstances develop into a situation requiring immediate action.
@@Grzybo93 (taking) "a liberty" means a second party taking an action that's beyond the bounds of what's considered acceptable to the first party. Jim therefore declares that they've been "mugged off" i.e. taken for fools by the Klingons.
1:01 "You 'aving a turkish son? "turkish" = turkish bath = cockney rhyming slang for 'laugh" Therefore he's asking, "are you having a laugh?" i.e. "are you joking Bones?"
I have to watch this about once or twice a month, so I can reset...know that life is gonna be ok 😆😁 Once a Yank has gone and lived amongst the Brits, it NEVER leaves him.. cheers
Kicking off big time = Things are beginning to look ugly Gonna have a tear up = Have a fight Propper moody geezers = Really unsavoury types of people Early Bells = Early in the morning / day Have a nose around = Have a look around Mincers Peeled = Eyes Open Incase it comes ontop = Incase it get's out of control Sweet as a nut as it goes = Very good so far / Really well up to date What's the script? = What's the story / What's happening so far?
So my Dad was British Army 1931-1945 and I copied a number of little bits of catchy tunes and sayings like "middle for diddle" from him when I was 8-15 years old and I didn't clue in until I was singing one about low-priced Italian meatballs in a building lobby when I was 38 years old and a business client really stared at me funny like. I gradually figured out several of them but I'm still not sure what I'm saying now I'm 71.
I almost didn't understand anything but goddamn that accent is THE english accent that represents the best england to a foreigner like me. Wish we learned this pronunciation instead of that poshy RP at school !
@@russellwhite1581 Why? I am not even a native anglophone. In fact I have never even lived in an English-speaking country. My fluency in English comes almost entirely from reading books.
Me, too. My English teacher who was an Englishman told me that my ability at English was pretty good for a non-native speaker of English when I was a high school student. However, I could not catch what they said. In Britain and Ireland, there are a lot of tough accents which are difficult to catch even for native speakers, I heard.
I'm Irish and have two Scottish friends, took me a while to understand them, once it clicks it clicks, but scottish and some northern Irish accents are the worst, I lived near London for a long time so understood all this perfectly and I can quite easily slip back into a similar accent anytime I go back, proper naughty
Such a shame that this is a one off, absolutely brilliant, we need a full episode of this, love the opening where he's doing a line of Columbia's finest powder.................lol.
I've never heard anyone cockney, EVER, say 'proper naughty'. "Gunna get messy", yes. The rest of what the bloke in yellow said was pretty bang on, but odds-on he never wrote the script.
@@themindasmusic yes, it used to be giraffe in the 20th century. Has gradually morphed with the times and now, with the disappearance of giraffes in East London, the younger generation of cockneys have taken to using this more relevant and complex form of rhyming slang. Friday and Saturday nights between the years of 2005 and 2015 really established the new form, with kebab wrappers flying across the Mile End Road, from Stratford to Whitechapel, inconveniencing Prius drivers on hire/reward journeys.
I'm a Cockney (born and raised in Mile End) who is also a linguist (Post grad Dip Ling) and I loved this little sketch. The accents and dialogue are convincing enough but there's not enough of it. What I'd really like to see is a Cockney version of Downton Abbey. Now that would be fun.
😂
Mile End that's where Bertie Smalls is from right mackerel
@@anthonycullen Not with you there me ol' china - explain please.
@@RootlessNZ Berti Smalls was a supergrass put untold people behind bars back in the 70s, By the way is the Cotton Arms still open in Mile End
Thanks for the explanation. The Cotton Arms open? Afraid I don't know. I've lived in Wellington New Zealand for the past 35 years and I miss London like you wouldn't believe.
Thank you for the recommendation youtube, 13 years later.
Yeah same here!
Same
@The Vintage Movie Box Office The UA-cam algorithm doesn't know what is doing half the time and the other half doesn't know what the hell is doing...
@The Vintage Movie Box Office 😂😂😂😂😂
@@Cunoslav @The Vintage Movie Box Office Thats so true
2 decades of watching Guy Ritchie films prepared me for this. I totally understood everything.
I hear ya', but it has morphed or evolved, "Mugged"/"mugged off" = "are you taking a piss"?
You must be a proppa geeeezer .
same lol
You could have spent the time more productive on learning Klingon, High Valyrian and Classical Latin...
Any of these languages sounds more aesthetic, too ;)
@@martinfiedler4317 Cockney double rhymes are pretty hard to get.
Only thing wrong with this is there isn't enough of it.
@James Hodson out
Beth K, are you mugging us off?
...keep yer minces peeled lads, UA-cam might put some more out, but me thinks they’re mugging us off!
Proper naughty like, know wot I mean.😉
Spot on
It would revive the franchise!
I wet my pants every time I watch this, I am an older Aussie and have been to the UK many many times and heard the lingo everywhere so I understand everything they are saying.......geezus I wish this was made into a TV series
Still hilarious. For an added laugh, turn on the captions. The AI is losing its mind trying to caption these guys!
Hahaha
That was not in the least bit disappointing. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
instead of proper Naughty at the end
AI get a Nazi lol
Lmao.
Excellent suggestion!😹😂🤣
Danny dyer whole career in a minute
I was thinking the same thing. It's like an episode of EastEnders 😁
@@Laffy-ix5xy dyers pwoper pwoper naughty.
This was so unfunny.
He's a mockney not a cockney.
@@michaelelsy2209 You got no sense of humour you hearth rug.
"To be fair, there ain't a lot happening, as it goes" - my favourite
I wouldn't say no to a whole episode of this.
Nor Me
I want to see the movie
Yep lol
@@billhopen lol
I wouldn't say no either.
I wouldn't _watch_ it, but that's entirely diff'rnt inn't?
"You aint muggin us off are yer bones?" too funny, pmsl. I wish they'd make an actual episode.
That was damn good! Loved it! 2024 Anyone?
They've taken a much-loved sci-fi classic and turned it into a joke. That is naughty, that is proper naughty!
Pwopa not proper - get it right !
Pwopper naawty fella aintcha
@@stuartmiller621 you ain’t muggin me off there are ya Stuart?
You would wanna shut your North and south unless you wanna be brown bread , you slag hahaa
Proper nawty moody Geezer Jim...
They needed Nan on the bridge talking to the Klingons: "Come to see me, aint cha?"
Thank you for that. I really struggled to find anything to laugh at in this video. But the idea of Nan has really got me thinking!
"What you Klingons comin' in 'ere for with that forehead lookin' like a piece of shit? My Jim's a good boy. Leave im alone ya little tosspot!
What a Fuckin' Liberty!"
I was hoping we'd see Jim lumping a Klingon in the face whilst saying: "... _'Ave it!!!_ "
BAHAHAHAAH!!
Plot twist: Bones was only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.
Another nice crossover quote.
`I don't care if he's Muhammad "I'm hard" Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.
The only thing wrong with this is that it's too short!
That's what she said
@@uniquemodeling1037 who, your bird?
I never get tired of watching this classic UA-cam Sketch!
Where is a Universal Translator when you need one?
Wot? Don' yew speak the Queen's English?
@@DMSProduktions Late reply and I know I'm spoiling the joke but this is the complete opposite of the "Queen's English"
Try turning on captioning 🤣 but at least it isn't Scots or Welsh...
@@joeloates1685 Caw blimey Guv'nah!
@@DMSProduktionsI'm not saying we don't speak like that (in parts of London) I'm just saying it's not the queen's English. That's how posh fuckers talk.
'They've mugged us right off.' Laughed out loud, I did!
As an American, this cracks me up!
As a darn fine english gentleman I find this most amusing.
@@douglasfreeman3229 As a much more ruddy English lad, I find the two of youse proper smarmy
"We're being mugged off by the Klingons" lol
"Proper naughty moody geezers!" Ha!
+Alexander Frank Castro That about sums them up! :-)
Alexander Frank Castro
with subtitles it says this is gonna get oh Nazi
Now you listen here!
He's not a Klingon...He's a very naughty boy!
Nice crossover quote.
"This is gonna get pppphhhhhhropper naughty" :D Hilarious! :D
Spock can't keep a straight face...and the sound of the sliding door / nose wipe is utter genius..and the phrase `..in case it comes on top..` brilliant, inspired and inspirational..
So what would the Klingons sound like in this Universe? Scousers?
Maybe Glaswegians?
French!
Germans, probably :) Or would that be the Borg?
Yorkshiremen.
I thought the Borg were Swedish.
I work with geezers like this every day, there are times when you've finished having a conversation with them you just have to laugh! And then shorts like this turn up from time to time and it's even funnier! I'm working in Plaistow tomorrow and it's not coming soon enough!
It's gonna get proper norty sun...
I want to watch the whole show, this is the best star trek ever!
The delivery of that last line is golden!
Run this through the Universal Translator. THEN run a Level 1 diagnostic on it.
You what? (I'm having a laugh)
Lololol
I'm a yank but couldn't help but laugh at this.
What percentage dis you understand? :-D
A proper yanker!
Why would that mean you wouldn't laugh at it?
You're having a giraffe ?
This septic's having a Turkish.
I would watch the entire series! Hilarious! Them naughty Klingons are having a laugh!
Love the Coke sniffing at the beginning, the whole clip proper funny 😂
Straight up.
This needs to be a feature-length movie.
Directed by Guy Ritchie featuring Alan Ford as Khan!
There is a gay one by a German comedian.
The sequal,"GEORDIES ON THE STARBOARD BOW", Monkey tennis?
@TheRenaissanceman65 I've been watching Shetland, trying to get used to the accent. Although the accent isn't too, too thick in that series.
I hope it comes with sub titles!
I am still looking for a whole series of this programme.
"Bones, you dayah, son?" gets me every time
I don't understand a thing... But I love the sound of it...
You should listen to South Africans when they mix English and Afrikaans. I love their accent.
Those haircuts are a work of art...
Wigs
@@TheManwithaview Syrups.
He's brown bread Jim.
Beautiful.
That's the best comment hands down
Eee copped a flower pot
@@deemdoubleu Thank you :)
@@Boylieboyle thank you :)
"Proper naughty moody geezers!" 🤣 LOL!!! I hope there is a part two to this one.
@Younes Bnl aye lad can’t be doing with that
This is waaaaaaaaaaay funnier if you watch it with the Closed Captions on.
*****
True also.
+Professicchio
Thank you, I would have missed out on that otherwise. That made me laugh more than the original clip!!
[edit] _the celebrity moms up by night will be my golf ball ticking_...
wtaf!!
+Professicchio Dr. Leonard H. "Bounce" McCoy!
Hey thanks...that really cleared things up for me! Yah baby!
fuck me the closed captions are awful! did soneone write those or are they computer generated? serious q, as that is not what they are saying!
So that's how you make Star Trek into Blake's 7 :-)
avon callin'
When you can’t sleep at 2 am and start YouTubing British accents and this pops up afterwards. Video posted 12 yrs ago lol
I could watch a whole series of this
Geordie star trek; "Giz a lift wor scotty"
"Aye alreet ked"
Error 404 haddaway and shite man.
Geordie is in TNG, who also is the chief engineer.. First you have Scotty than Geordie. i'm surprised that voyager didn't have "brummie"
Nobody ever has a shit in space.
No, I haven't seen that.
I'll keep a look out for that one. Cheers !!!
Canny belta!
This is one of the most hilarious skits I've ever seen in my life. If you've ever spent much time watching proper Star Trek and then you watch this, the contrast is brilliant, literally rolling on the floor haha
And nearly 14 years later this boldy goes and shows up in my recommendations.
Haven't laughed so much in a long time.
"Awright son, jump in the bricks an' we'll have a butchers at this new planet, eh?"
"Excuse me?"
"Bricks an' mortar, innit? Transporter?"
"Oh, right..."
Put yer rhythms on then son we’re goin dahn the battle cruiser.
Bricks an mortar......daughter
@@admiralcraddock464 Now, yes...but in the future, who knows?
There should totally be a Star Trek alternate universe where each type of alien is just a different British accent. :D
Yeah, a Brummie one and a Geordie one
@Rick Jess Yeah!! That would be funny
The engineer could have a Scottish acce...oh, wait...
The vulcans would be posh the andorians scottish the delorians welsh the romulans Yorkshire the klingons geordie the ferenghi scouse and if there is a farmer race they can have west country accents. Ive prob thought about this too long.
That would be brilliant 😁
I watch this regularly and it the best star trek spin off!!! Proper Naughty!
I watch this 3 times every day. Hilarious
"I sent Bones dahn there early bewlls to have a nose arahnd and keep 'is minces peeled in case it comes on top" 😂
For those who don't know: minces = mince pies = eyes
I may as well give the full glossary:
"Early bells" = very early in the morning
"Nose around" = reconnaissance
"Minces" = mince pies = eyes
"Eyes Peeled" = eyes open = alert
"Comes on Top" = Circumstances develop into a situation requiring immediate action.
@@BillyCosmosis Btw does "liberty" means Liberty X = sex/fvck or something?
@@Grzybo93 (taking) "a liberty" means a second party taking an action that's beyond the bounds of what's considered acceptable to the first party. Jim therefore declares that they've been "mugged off" i.e. taken for fools by the Klingons.
1:01 "You 'aving a turkish son? "turkish" = turkish bath = cockney rhyming slang for 'laugh" Therefore he's asking, "are you having a laugh?" i.e. "are you joking Bones?"
I kept waiting for the Capt to shout at the First Officer “whattta YOU know, you’re from the NEXT Generation!”
I have to watch this about once or twice a month, so I can reset...know that life is gonna be ok 😆😁 Once a Yank has gone and lived amongst the Brits, it NEVER leaves him.. cheers
i cant get by 44 seconds as im on the floor laughing!!!...who are these guys???...brilliant!!
Kicking off big time = Things are beginning to look ugly
Gonna have a tear up = Have a fight
Propper moody geezers = Really unsavoury types of people
Early Bells = Early in the morning / day
Have a nose around = Have a look around
Mincers Peeled = Eyes Open
Incase it comes ontop = Incase it get's out of control
Sweet as a nut as it goes = Very good so far / Really well up to date
What's the script? = What's the story / What's happening so far?
"You 'avin a Turkish?" = Are you having a Turkish bath? = Are you having a laugh? = Are you joking?
Also forgot mugged off, and proper naughty
Plus "boat" for "face" ("boat race")
Fortunately, none of them wuz 'avin' a Sherman/Tommy (tank).
Thanks for writing that because I couldn't understand the swet as a nut line.
"When it comes on top" Liam sings this in Cigarettes and Alcohol, I understand it means something like "when shit hits the fan"
My favorite moment is 0:41 when he sent Bones down to have a nose around.
So my Dad was British Army 1931-1945 and I copied a number of little bits of catchy tunes and sayings like "middle for diddle" from him when I was 8-15 years old and I didn't clue in until I was singing one about low-priced Italian meatballs in a building lobby when I was 38 years old and a business client really stared at me funny like. I gradually figured out several of them but I'm still not sure what I'm saying now I'm 71.
75 now,my friend.
I trust you are still going strong..
Had me in stitches. Proper good...
"I ain't popped a single Klingon boat!" Love it!!!
For those who don't get it, boat - boat race - face. Klingon face.
I almost didn't understand anything but goddamn that accent is THE english accent that represents the best england to a foreigner like me.
Wish we learned this pronunciation instead of that poshy RP at school !
Soccer am at its best. It was side splitting hilarious back in the days of Tim Lovejoy presenting it with these boys doing the comedy sketches!
I'm a Texan and I understood everything! LOL
Wot, even the rhyming slang ("keep his minces peeled?", "are you havin a Turkish?")....well done! :)
In its way cockney is quite eloquent and lovely to listen to.
Yer 'avin' a Giraffe mate, septics yer aint got a Scoobies.
Did you use Google Translate? Lol.
Starts with the captain spinning round after a cheeky dab of coke and a huge sniff !
English is a wonderfully diverse language with a huge number of different vernaculars.
I think the Cockney Trekkers would need their universal translator to understand your comment....
@@russellwhite1581 Why? I am not even a native anglophone. In fact I have never even lived in an English-speaking country. My fluency in English comes almost entirely from reading books.
I'm American and I like when you guys make fun of our accents CAN I GET A CHEESEBURGER AND SOME FRIES😀😀😀😀
The danny dyer school of acting
@spudnic88 you fackin plum
They're not that bad.
Or Danny Dyer , being..... Danny Dyer, innit?!
possibly the worst actor in history so doubt it
@@pj5517 apart from four letter expletives.which is all he is good for...............
Me, too. My English teacher who was an Englishman told me that my ability at English was pretty good for a non-native speaker of English when I was a high school student. However, I could not catch what they said. In Britain and Ireland, there are a lot of tough accents which are difficult to catch even for native speakers, I heard.
I'm Irish and have two Scottish friends, took me a while to understand them, once it clicks it clicks, but scottish and some northern Irish accents are the worst, I lived near London for a long time so understood all this perfectly and I can quite easily slip back into a similar accent anytime I go back, proper naughty
Such a shame that this is a one off, absolutely brilliant, we need a full episode of this, love the opening where he's doing a line of Columbia's finest powder.................lol.
Thank you so much. I watch this every time I need to cheer up as I'm a moody geezer - it works 👍
It's proper naughty.
Whats really neat is despite not knowing cockney; I still understood what they were saying.
"Do you fink..." Ha ha!
I live in east London. They all talk like that especially in Dagenham
Dagenham.
Where London meets Essex and it all goes tits up.
The captain sounded like micky Flanagan, "right lads were going Out! Out!" 😂
Damn! I was betting they couldn't go a minute without saying the phrase "Mugging Me (or Us) off, and it came in at a minute +five. Proper.
would love a season of this
I used to watch East Enders, so I understand Cockney!😹😂🤣
“Ows the family?” Perfect😂😂😂
that was hilarious and I just thought they would have been great Code Talkers in World War II.🤣😅😆
SOE tried, but they couldn't make sand paintings worth a damn.
OMG, this is terrific, I would gladly take this over Discovery or Picard.
It's not great, but it still pisses over Discovery/Picard.
"Do you FINK I'm gonna have that with FEM mugs!" 🤣
Why can't I stop watching this damn thing?
My universal translator doesn't seem to be working with this particular dialect.
"This is gonna get proper naughty." Subtitles "This is gonna get OH a nazi." Good job, captions. I'm intrigued.
I've never heard anyone cockney, EVER, say 'proper naughty'.
"Gunna get messy", yes.
The rest of what the bloke in yellow said was pretty bang on, but odds-on he never wrote the script.
Very good! I'm a Londoner by birth and 'Having a Turkish' was a new one for me! Laugh!
he could of said, 'a giraffe' instead
Or having a bubble
I thought that was:
'bubble and squeak '
@@themindasmusic yes, it used to be giraffe in the 20th century. Has gradually morphed with the times and now, with the disappearance of giraffes in East London, the younger generation of cockneys have taken to using this more relevant and complex form of rhyming slang. Friday and Saturday nights between the years of 2005 and 2015 really established the new form, with kebab wrappers flying across the Mile End Road, from Stratford to Whitechapel, inconveniencing Prius drivers on hire/reward journeys.
@@themindasmusic No that's the late Duke of Edinburgh,,,
If they spoke like that in Star Trek, the show would have been even more awesome.
You fink I'm gonna 'ave that? You really fink I'm gonna 'ave that?
What IS up with some English accents using "F" instead of "th"? Annoys the hell out of me!
It can go the other way too. I once saw Bugs Bunny's nemesis spelt as Elmer Thud.
Justforever96 - I was finkin' the same bloody fing. Irritatin', innit? Stiwww, it puts a proper 'four minute' on yer boat, dunnit?
NO KLINGONS? YOU 'AVIN A TURKISH, SON?!
That sniff at the beginning hahaha
I love the cockney accent 😂
This is so good, why can't we have stuff like this on the telly.
Cos telly is now the home of lies, fear, propaganda, advertising and crap programs in between
Love it - really Easter bunny. Any septics 'avin a butcher's will be scratchin' their loaf 😂
Even as a Geordie, I totally understood that comment. LOL
Don't know what 'septics' means, but 'butchers' is butchers - butcher's hook - look.
Septic = septic tank = Yank
@@dnr2089 Oh yeah. I get it now.
Try having a cockney dad & an Aussie mum.!
Clearly half inched from Taysiders in Space ! The original Scottish spoof of Star Trek .
OMG- PLEASE do a whole movie of this...I'm cryyyyyyyyying this is so friggin funny! Pruhpah laaaaf!!!!
We're gonna have a tear up with klingons. ..lol
it's the comic relief off Soccer AM... how we laughed in comparison to Tim Lovejoy.
Long Good Friday meets star trek!
I love the pink starship