Lived in Japan 11 years…this is pretty standard…once kids are born, they become the focus of women’s attention and men are honestly kinda expected to…”wander,” as long as they end up back at home.
Stav should listen to Eldis’ reads on the callers more often. I feel like he’s often got a bit more of an accurate read on some peoples situations than Stav does (this one for instance)
surprising how long it took them to get what's actually happening and how hesitant they were about it. he's not saying his wife is "okay" with it, he's saying she's suck it up and probably not leave him if he cheats, but he has a guilty conscience about being in the misogynistic family dynamic that he probably sought out in the first place ( last relationship broken over him wanting to cheat, next one he picked someone who is gonna suck it up and shut up about it)
I almost wanted to comment about not judging someone off something so small but then I looked at your profile picture and realized I def am judging you off something small
@@johnathanlatman2507let’s see what you look like Johnathan. Oh wait, no one gives a damn. Shallowest criticism to exist. Use that beautiful brain of yours and be nice. Xo
Alot of Japanese culture does not see prostitution as cheating. I know a few westerners whose Japanese wives don't care of them seeing prostitutes or cheating, as long as it is not visible to their friends/family/co-workers and doesn't bring shame to the family. Pretty crazy to think of as a US citizen.
I thought that was common knowledge. If you are going to cheat on someone at least have enough common decency not to put them on blast. I never understood people that cheat on someone and then try and rub it in their face it's like it's bad enough that you cheated on them like damn
No, y'all (including Stavvy and the guest) are missing the point. To everyone saying, like Stavros said, "Why are you calling in to brag? This setup is weird, and I don't think I'd like it" - He's not bragging. He's calling in to say "This setup is weird and I don't think I like it". THAT'S the conflict. His wife thinks that by permitting him to cheat, she's absolved of the need for them to have an intimate relationship. To put it another way, she's INSISTING that he cheat and he's like "....Okay I guess?" because that's supposed to be cool on paper. Yet in practice it kind of sucks, despite being not-quite-shitty-enough to completely blow. They fumbled the ball on this one hard. But it was funny, so, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
That's not their fault at all. The dude sucked at conveying anything. I do believe you're correct, but you're not on camera, talking to 2 people, trying to make jokes, all while processing the word salad this guy spit out.
@@Looshington well, the comments missing the point were part of my impulse to comment. But also, engaging in the discussion of the topic is part of the fun. So all of it is joyful. Just my two cents.
The wife never really loved him. She just wanted kids and he was her means to get them. Now that she has what she really wants, she has no need to ever be intimate with him again unless she wants another kid. This is what's going on. This happens a lot in east Asia especially with older women. Many such cases. There Marriage is not primarily above love, compatibility, being soulmates whatever. It's just for status and for having children. Most Japanese couples don't even sleep in the same bed or room even once the kid is growing up.
Vancouver is a city , a city that breeds Mfers dumb enough to call each other “small town boys” 😂🇨🇦 Place is so confused someone will grow up goth kid and switch to John deer truck guy
This is actually a thing, second time I've heard it too, first time was from a late 40s dude at work, said on their wedding day his Japanese wife told him, "If you ever cheat, just please, don't tell me about it" he was like lol what?
The best case scenario for your life, you don't want to grow old or get sick around people who don't love you and the only reason they lived with you was because they were dependent on you. The worst case scenario, she's gonna find herself another guy and leaves you for him and after writing this I'm not sure that the best case scenario is better than the worst case scenario.
Every day I learn more about japanese culture the more I don't understand why weebs idolize it so much, then again these are the same people who thinking living in cyberpunk would be sick. I like anime too but like goddamn what a deeply fucked up and unwell society.
a lot of people THINK they want an open relationship when what they really fantasize about is the thrill of cheating, or even leaving their partner. dude has everything he thought he wanted and is wondering why he isn’t crazy about it.
Good point. People want what they can’t have and the idea of it is always hotter than the actual act (for most people). When you’re confronted with the reality of it, that’s when your stomach churns. Looks like the caller has come to that nexus.
Lived in Japan for years. This isn't BS. It's not spoken of super openly but it is very much the norm for a significant percentage of couples. I literally heard it straight from my Japanese female friend's mouth when I started picking up on it. I think the biggest thing to understand is that relationships in Japan tend to be far more pragmatic. Of course romance exists but there is far less emphasis on it. With lots of my friends that were in relationships their boyfriend/girlfriend seemed more just like a pretty ok person they were cool being seen with socially on occasion lol. Again I'm hugely generalizing here but there are tons of marriages in Japan where they two people got married because they figured they would be a good fit for the social duty of having a family. Once they've fulfilled that obligation the unspoken rule is that they can fool around as long as they don't bring it around the house.
All these incels on here think he’s bragging. Some guys actually might want to have an exclusive intimate relationship with the mother of their children.
@@indifferentadvocate1737the caller did say that his previous relationship ended because he wanted to open it, so I don’t think he wants exclusively. I think he feels subconscious guilt how that he has an open relationship
Yeah this isn’t uncommon in Japan. And not even really something people are ashamed of… after a couple drinks people are pretty open about visiting prostitutes (or in the case of women, their husbands visiting prostitutes) and their lack of sex with their partners. Seems kinda sad to me though. I feel like sex is important for a healthy relationship. And the guys that have been given a pass miss being intimate with their wives.
I clicked on this because I thought my brother called in. He has a Japanese wife and he cheats on her all the time, but she doesn’t know about it so clearly this wasn’t him
I saw a video of a someone interviewing women over there and a bunch of them said they didn't care. Men getting hookers or hooking up, whatever was totally fine with them as long as they provided and came home to them every night. Is that not a common mentality over there in some areas or am I understanding the video I saw incorrectly?
Isn’t this one quite prevalent in Japan? So it is real eastern values. Then again, the idea of “real” values is ambiguous at best and disingenuous at worst.
As someone with a young kid I can say for certain they hit the nail on the head towards the end. She's probably overwhelmed with raising a 3 year old and he probably doesn't help enough. More than likely, as the dude describes, he's the provider, and so possibly assumes no extra responsibility with the kid. Being oblivious to stuff like that as a father is like locking a chastity belt onto yourself.
East Asian culture - Japanese, Chinese, Koreans - they really do view marriage more as a kind of business arrangement, they don't get as romantic about a white wedding etc. as we do.. you are bang on the nose, Stavvy, when you said it's like being permitted some concubines on the side. It's kind of like their culture builds-in 'open marriages' from the get go. The focus definitely on the kids
The focus is really on the man to do as he pleases without any repercussion and lack of reciprocity. Japanese is extremely misogynist but in the most formal/contractual way.
As a woman I will give you our most kept secret and that is if a woman is ok with you having sex with other women she never cared or had emotional connections with you in the first place. Even the women who aren’t into sex will still feel jilted if you cheat so thats not the major problem. This particular japanese woman doesn’t care for this man one bit. Sorry but its true and its not a culture thing, it’s a heart thing and the fact he thinks that really goes to show you that he himself doesn’t know or care to know anything about her.
I don’t have enough information here. Did they ever have a passionate sex life? Or was this a business deal to begin with? Like “put food on the table and be there for your kids and other than that you’re good” I’m so confused. Was there ever passion in this marriage? I’m kind of getting the vibe that this woman might be asexual but still wanted kids.
I think hes having a problem with being almost expected to sleep with someone that he doesn't love, like his wife. I think he is saying that hes not cool with fkn another woman.
I watch some man on a street thing in Japan and apparently cheating is super common And it seems like “traditionally” if sex is transactional then it’s fine And just based off that one UA-cam video a lot of people seemed to have cheated in the past
There’s no way in hell this isn’t a guy calling in making fun of stav, when it got to the ex it’s literally what stav did with that the lady from bottoms
If you haven't had sex with your wife for over 6 months that’s no longer your wife. Furthermore, why would you want a marriage in which you need to cheat to have sex?
Good question, I don't know why some people get married either, but they do and then have a kid and shit changes and they deal with it in all kinds of ways, some ways more bad than others. There's more understanding in this couple's situation than most of the shit that I hear about. How is this so hard for Stavros and some of you to understand? Maybe I've just been alive longer.
To the caller: I think that if you love your wife and child then you would stop cheating. You married her for a reason. These should be the most important people in your life. Cultural differences or not, it sounds like you are hurting your wife by cheating and are being a bad role model to your child. I think you should stop cheating right away and start working on improving the relationship with your wife. As well as admit to her what you've done and how you are sorry and ashamed of it (which it sounds like you are). Accept whatever reaction this evokes and take it like man. Then prove to her your intentions are good and true and give it time to heal. With the required effort and time you will be able to mend your relationship and come out of this stronger together. I believe then in time she will be able to forgive you and you yourself as well, which will uplift the shame you are carrying around. Perhaps you'll have to go through the same process with your child one day. But I think he will also forgive you in time and this could be a valueble lesson only you, his father, can teach. A lesson about humility, forgiveness and what it means to be a good man. Good luck brother, I believe in you.
Lived in Japan 11 years…this is pretty standard…once kids are born, they become the focus of women’s attention and men are honestly kinda expected to…”wander,” as long as they end up back at home.
That sounds so distopian
@@luierdaneenpamper3877 Yeah youre either wandering or you work for 14 hours then the boss Invities you for semi-mandatory after-work drinking
@@luierdaneenpamper3877lol “distopian” it’s human nature buddy
@@johnathanlatman2507 Stfu weeb go talk to a women
@@johnathanlatman2507 Just because you saw your dad and uncles do it doesn't mean it's human nature pal.
I’m here for the constant fight to keep his shirt pulled down.
as soon as he pulls it down it comes right back up lmao
This. Lmao
Genuinely my favorite way to start the day can’t thank you enough for consistently posting at 11 AM, always a quick banger but they get the job done
Man they post at like 7 am for me and I'm happy starting my day with Stavvy
Yeah I'll see them post at like 6am lol, I was surprised it was so late today
Your day starts at 11am?
@@kcrichton7485 lol
You live a sad life bruh...
Stav should listen to Eldis’ reads on the callers more often. I feel like he’s often got a bit more of an accurate read on some peoples situations than Stav does (this one for instance)
100%, I almost always agree with his take. Also I always thought he called him "Eldest", didn't know it was Eldis 😂
@@rdcruick yeah Stav doesn’t have his instruments calibrated to the “I play dnd” callers
Stav goes for the joke before real advice always
Eldis burner account
@@37thousand lmao
Stavvy def has some crossover appeal with the Sumo groupies
Highly resembles the rising sun on the Japan flag 😂
Just needs to paint himself red and get a kimono and a couple samurai swords 😂
impressed at the thumbnail elvis has been uppin his photoshop game
_Eldis_
@@richardthegingerbo909 nah he's elVis to me
@@seize2179 IV . . . the Fourth!
I think the guy is uncomfortable with his situation.
Eldis nailed it imo
'Like an eclipse' is a banger line lmao
Yea... or leap year like gavin was referring to but stav didn't get it lol.
surprising how long it took them to get what's actually happening and how hesitant they were about it. he's not saying his wife is "okay" with it, he's saying she's suck it up and probably not leave him if he cheats, but he has a guilty conscience about being in the misogynistic family dynamic that he probably sought out in the first place ( last relationship broken over him wanting to cheat, next one he picked someone who is gonna suck it up and shut up about it)
You guys should only make these videos with a porcelain plate with a pile of giant red grapes on it to decadently nibble on while taking calls.
Underrated idea, love this
Stav’s getting too fat for shirts😂😂😂 next thing he gon be wearing is a muumuu like homer 🎉
lmao "I don't wanna look like a freak. I'll just go with the mumu"
looking both like he s a classic greek and citizen of springfield
"Japanese" is the first and only adjective that he used to describe his wife, so that should tell you enough of how he feels about her imo
I think its important to know, watch street interviews of Japanese woman asked this question. They almost all do not care about cheating
I almost wanted to comment about not judging someone off something so small but then I looked at your profile picture and realized I def am judging you off something small
@@johnathanlatman2507 I am just going off of those stupid street interviews so idk, like stavvy says who gives a fuck
@@johnathanlatman2507let’s see what you look like Johnathan. Oh wait, no one gives a damn. Shallowest criticism to exist. Use that beautiful brain of yours and be nice. Xo
Alot of Japanese culture does not see prostitution as cheating. I know a few westerners whose Japanese wives don't care of them seeing prostitutes or cheating, as long as it is not visible to their friends/family/co-workers and doesn't bring shame to the family. Pretty crazy to think of as a US citizen.
I thought that was common knowledge.
If you are going to cheat on someone at least have enough common decency not to put them on blast.
I never understood people that cheat on someone and then try and rub it in their face it's like it's bad enough that you cheated on them like damn
'in a western sense'
That’s what your friends tell you….
Yeah this is BS lmao I've never met a Japanese woman who doesn't think it's cheating and I live here
@@uchuuseijin lol, you actually think they would publicly admit it to you...
No, y'all (including Stavvy and the guest) are missing the point.
To everyone saying, like Stavros said, "Why are you calling in to brag? This setup is weird, and I don't think I'd like it" - He's not bragging. He's calling in to say "This setup is weird and I don't think I like it". THAT'S the conflict.
His wife thinks that by permitting him to cheat, she's absolved of the need for them to have an intimate relationship. To put it another way, she's INSISTING that he cheat and he's like "....Okay I guess?" because that's supposed to be cool on paper. Yet in practice it kind of sucks, despite being not-quite-shitty-enough to completely blow.
They fumbled the ball on this one hard. But it was funny, so, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
That's not their fault at all. The dude sucked at conveying anything. I do believe you're correct, but you're not on camera, talking to 2 people, trying to make jokes, all while processing the word salad this guy spit out.
@@riskylifie Fair. The guy sucked and sucked at telling the story especially, for sure.
Yeah at the end of the day this is a comedy podcast, so sometimes you just have to look past it all and laugh. But I agree with you on this one.
@@Looshington well, the comments missing the point were part of my impulse to comment. But also, engaging in the discussion of the topic is part of the fun. So all of it is joyful. Just my two cents.
The dude is asking for marriage advice from a comedy show, instead of going to counseling. Who cares what they say, it should just be funny.
“I don’t think they have inside jokes” is a pretty good summation.
9:55 I love how Stavvy paused before mispronouncing "clandestinely".
Wait how do you pronounce clandestinely??? He annunciated the 3rd syllable a bit heavy but that sounds pretty normal to me
@@straifaces its pronounced like "destiny", not the "stein" emphasis he used. That's a common mispronunciation though.
This dude is blowing the whole ass college fund at soapland lol
LOL
ソープランド!
当たり前
Have him and his wife call in live!
Not sure if this is a question or bragging 😂😂😂 Stavs all over it once again 👑👑👑
The wife never really loved him. She just wanted kids and he was her means to get them. Now that she has what she really wants, she has no need to ever be intimate with him again unless she wants another kid. This is what's going on. This happens a lot in east Asia especially with older women. Many such cases. There Marriage is not primarily above love, compatibility, being soulmates whatever. It's just for status and for having children.
Most Japanese couples don't even sleep in the same bed or room even once the kid is growing up.
caller sounds like joe pera
hilarious that the bonus episode is linked in the description :lmao
shout out Gavin Matts the Vancouver legend. small town boy makes good 🇨🇦❤️
Small town of Vancouver lol
Vancouver is a city , a city that breeds Mfers dumb enough to call each other “small town boys” 😂🇨🇦 Place is so confused someone will grow up goth kid and switch to John deer truck guy
This is actually a thing, second time I've heard it too, first time was from a late 40s dude at work, said on their wedding day his Japanese wife told him, "If you ever cheat, just please, don't tell me about it" he was like lol what?
The best case scenario for your life, you don't want to grow old or get sick around people who don't love you and the only reason they lived with you was because they were dependent on you. The worst case scenario, she's gonna find herself another guy and leaves you for him and after writing this I'm not sure that the best case scenario is better than the worst case scenario.
I wonder if since it's easy for him, the thrill is no longer there.
funniest stav clip ive seen in a while
Every day I learn more about japanese culture the more I don't understand why weebs idolize it so much, then again these are the same people who thinking living in cyberpunk would be sick. I like anime too but like goddamn what a deeply fucked up and unwell society.
Where do you live that isn’t deeply fucked up and unwell?
and remember this was his second try adding information to his call
a lot of people THINK they want an open relationship when what they really fantasize about is the thrill of cheating, or even leaving their partner. dude has everything he thought he wanted and is wondering why he isn’t crazy about it.
Good point. People want what they can’t have and the idea of it is always hotter than the actual act (for most people). When you’re confronted with the reality of it, that’s when your stomach churns. Looks like the caller has come to that nexus.
Ennui. You got everything you thought you wanted, and it turns out what you wanted, was the thing everybody had been telling you, your whole life
wicca phase spring eternal prince of pain
Good take from Eldis
Lived in Japan for years. This isn't BS. It's not spoken of super openly but it is very much the norm for a significant percentage of couples. I literally heard it straight from my Japanese female friend's mouth when I started picking up on it. I think the biggest thing to understand is that relationships in Japan tend to be far more pragmatic. Of course romance exists but there is far less emphasis on it. With lots of my friends that were in relationships their boyfriend/girlfriend seemed more just like a pretty ok person they were cool being seen with socially on occasion lol. Again I'm hugely generalizing here but there are tons of marriages in Japan where they two people got married because they figured they would be a good fit for the social duty of having a family. Once they've fulfilled that obligation the unspoken rule is that they can fool around as long as they don't bring it around the house.
What a weird call. The text of it is clearly bragging, but he also doesn’t sound happy about it?
To boys it’s bonus points to men it’s just weird
All these incels on here think he’s bragging. Some guys actually might want to have an exclusive intimate relationship with the mother of their children.
@@indifferentadvocate1737the caller did say that his previous relationship ended because he wanted to open it, so I don’t think he wants exclusively. I think he feels subconscious guilt how that he has an open relationship
@@indifferentadvocate1737 He could certainly want that, but he also definitely hasn’t admitted that to himself yet.
@@indifferentadvocate1737how is thinking he’s bragging related in any way to being an incel?
Yeah this isn’t uncommon in Japan. And not even really something people are ashamed of… after a couple drinks people are pretty open about visiting prostitutes (or in the case of women, their husbands visiting prostitutes) and their lack of sex with their partners.
Seems kinda sad to me though. I feel like sex is important for a healthy relationship. And the guys that have been given a pass miss being intimate with their wives.
Guy doesn't know he's a beard.
Gavin Matts has huge Friedland energy here.
How do so many people call and tell you guys shit like this? 😂
These never get fucking old
Dude called in to flex like a dork lol
Im picturing Steven Seagal on the phone
Also you should have looked for the old message, this was a follow up
guy on the left gives advice? wild
he does say that he is fuckin other women now
that shirt rules stav
😂 Man, Japan does so many things right
ur stuck with her for life lol GG
Welcome to the real world.... asteroid belt 😂
His wife probably caught him cheating and that's why she stopped sleeping with him. She's afraid she'll be deported if she divorces him.
Wow
I clicked on this because I thought my brother called in. He has a Japanese wife and he cheats on her all the time, but she doesn’t know about it so clearly this wasn’t him
Kids do confuse things so hopefully wouldn't be a permanent state but some people are super stubborn.
Is Gavin Mattis the dad from Big Mouth? I mean did they draw the Dad based on him lol
God help this guy discover real Eastern cultural values lol
Like what?
@nealthompson8794 Go research them for different countries, you have search engines 😀
I saw a video of a someone interviewing women over there and a bunch of them said they didn't care. Men getting hookers or hooking up, whatever was totally fine with them as long as they provided and came home to them every night. Is that not a common mentality over there in some areas or am I understanding the video I saw incorrectly?
Isn’t this one quite prevalent in Japan? So it is real eastern values. Then again, the idea of “real” values is ambiguous at best and disingenuous at worst.
As someone with a young kid I can say for certain they hit the nail on the head towards the end. She's probably overwhelmed with raising a 3 year old and he probably doesn't help enough. More than likely, as the dude describes, he's the provider, and so possibly assumes no extra responsibility with the kid. Being oblivious to stuff like that as a father is like locking a chastity belt onto yourself.
God this is so kuch betyer than the Adam Friedland show 🤣
There's a reason Japan is 7 years ahead of the rest of the World.
I saw this series of street interviews in Japan and was shocked how many Japanese women did not even consider going to prostitutes cheating.
East Asian culture - Japanese, Chinese, Koreans - they really do view marriage more as a kind of business arrangement, they don't get as romantic about a white wedding etc. as we do.. you are bang on the nose, Stavvy, when you said it's like being permitted some concubines on the side. It's kind of like their culture builds-in 'open marriages' from the get go. The focus definitely on the kids
The focus is really on the man to do as he pleases without any repercussion and lack of reciprocity. Japanese is extremely misogynist but in the most formal/contractual way.
oh nevermind.... lmaoo
6:17 MANIFESTATIONNNN-uh!✨🥹🤍🙏🏼
Domo arigato mr. sexboto
I'm old enough to get that reference! 😂
_I thank you!_
I have a friend who’s parents have the same arrangement
"Anyway, that's what I think of it, if that's your question. Sorry, I don't fu-- whatever. Fuck this guy. Umm." [CUE MUSIC]
Dude called in to just brag about his life
His wife hates him and their relationship is over, that's the part he doesn't realize
Its like hes talking to a fake adam
in Japan it’s definitely person by person just like an America…. It’s not like every woman is ok with this.
Damn stavvy looks huuuge
Sexless marriage isnt a Japanese thing... Its a woman thing. Search (lesbian dead bed) for some interesting reads...lol
Very honorabu
Eastern culture is wild 😂
She’s using him for a visa. She will put in a few years and when she becomes a citizen she’s gone. My roommate did that
eh most Japanese people want to stay in Japan. if she was from a third world country I’d agree.
making the matts ep a paych exclusive is evil
So he's just in an open relationship?
He lives on pocket money from wife (Japanese culture). 浮気
As a woman I will give you our most kept secret and that is if a woman is ok with you having sex with other women she never cared or had emotional connections with you in the first place.
Even the women who aren’t into sex will still feel jilted if you cheat so thats not the major problem. This particular japanese woman doesn’t care for this man one bit. Sorry but its true and its not a culture thing, it’s a heart thing and the fact he thinks that really goes to show you that he himself doesn’t know or care to know anything about her.
Its literally a normal part of japanese culture lmao.
I don't think this applies for all women cuz there's definitely open relationship type things where they love each other
Dude comes off as an extremely psychotic narcissist lmao tf was the point of this call 🤣
I don’t have enough information here. Did they ever have a passionate sex life? Or was this a business deal to begin with? Like “put food on the table and be there for your kids and other than that you’re good” I’m so confused. Was there ever passion in this marriage? I’m kind of getting the vibe that this woman might be asexual but still wanted kids.
I never understood how one can cheat on the mother of their child while married....haven't people heard of E-mo-tional Da-mage?
The reality is that women who are worth it aren't interested in being a 3rd wheel. Especially not with this dude.
I think hes having a problem with being almost expected to sleep with someone that he doesn't love, like his wife. I think he is saying that hes not cool with fkn another woman.
Stav: Eldis!?! *gong sound
I watch some man on a street thing in Japan and apparently cheating is super common
And it seems like “traditionally” if sex is transactional then it’s fine
And just based off that one UA-cam video a lot of people seemed to have cheated in the past
This dude doesn’t even have a problem he just wanted to brag
Is eldis bosnian or something?
Albanian, mortal enemy to the Greeks
the thing is she will sleep with other men to. that's normal as well.
Trust me brother, no she won't. Japanese are not American
No way like did they like you know like she like liked the like that I like
0:44
Rotfl,
Why is stavvy fingering his cup?
catholic guilt is a helluva drug
Stav is too young for the question. Guys never been married and lives this comedian's lifestyle, which isnt that normal
And bi
What 😂
Yeah no shit, "I don't get it" why would you, Stavros?
This guest is the worst😊
This definitely is Japanese culture lol
There’s no way in hell this isn’t a guy calling in making fun of stav, when it got to the ex it’s literally what stav did with that the lady from bottoms
If you haven't had sex with your wife for over 6 months that’s no longer your wife. Furthermore, why would you want a marriage in which you need to cheat to have sex?
Good question, I don't know why some people get married either, but they do and then have a kid and shit changes and they deal with it in all kinds of ways, some ways more bad than others. There's more understanding in this couple's situation than most of the shit that I hear about. How is this so hard for Stavros and some of you to understand? Maybe I've just been alive longer.
If she too is a westerner, just of Japanese descent, I’m surprised by her thought process. Otherwise, is she waiting around for a green card?
To the caller: I think that if you love your wife and child then you would stop cheating. You married her for a reason. These should be the most important people in your life. Cultural differences or not, it sounds like you are hurting your wife by cheating and are being a bad role model to your child. I think you should stop cheating right away and start working on improving the relationship with your wife. As well as admit to her what you've done and how you are sorry and ashamed of it (which it sounds like you are). Accept whatever reaction this evokes and take it like man. Then prove to her your intentions are good and true and give it time to heal. With the required effort and time you will be able to mend your relationship and come out of this stronger together. I believe then in time she will be able to forgive you and you yourself as well, which will uplift the shame you are carrying around. Perhaps you'll have to go through the same process with your child one day. But I think he will also forgive you in time and this could be a valueble lesson only you, his father, can teach. A lesson about humility, forgiveness and what it means to be a good man. Good luck brother, I believe in you.
It sounds like you heard a different call
Commit Hari Kari
Harry Caray!
I've heard a lot of Japanese women don't care as long as it's sex with other women they don't have a relationship with other then just sex.