Codependency Symptoms and Emptiness
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- Опубліковано 27 сер 2024
- www.whatiscodep... - If you're looking to understand more about the signs of codependency, codependency symptoms, and how to move beyond the emptiness that underlies codependent behavior, then watch this interview of Darlene Lancer, LMFT, by Sherry Gaba, LCSW.
Darlene Lancer is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Santa Monica, California, and author of "Codependency for Dummies" and "Conquering Shame and Codependency."
For more information about codependency symptoms and recovery, as well as other videos and recordings, visit www.whatiscodep...
Get a FREE copy of "14 Tips for Letting Go" at www.WhatisCode...
Read Darlene's blog at www.whatiscode...
"Codependency for Dummies" is for sale in stores, and at amzn.to/1BBcrWO
"Conquering Shame and Codependency" is for sale in stores and at amzn.to/37fueWd
If you found this video helpful, please share it and don't forget to leave your comments and connect with Darlene on...
Twitter: @darlenelancer
Facebook: / codependencyrecovery
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Copyright Darlene Lancer 2016
Darlene thank you. I experience this and struggle with the sense of emptiness as a codependent. Emptiness of self. It has been very difficult for me and I want to thank you for talking about this.
You're welcome. It's not discussed often and mostly unconscious. See my series of articles on emptiness on Medium.com. medium.com/becoming-you/emptiness-as-part-of-human-existence-feaa62484ce
Two of my favorite people! I have been able to correspond with both of you. Suffice to say very integral to my continuing sobriety. I am in awe both of you are together. You are helping people who have been suffering for a very long time. I am forever changed but still growing. Thank you
Oh my GOD this has been so helpful I'm crying.
Listening again after 5 years, it feels like I missed crucial information relating to the early years... or that I now perceive better what you share here. Always relevant! It restarts a process that has been left aside over the years...
Glad it was helpful! See the article on emptiness on the Articles page of my website, www.whatiscodependency.com
I can relate in putting others needs in front of my own needs too ...
Excellent way to describe Codependency...Running away from yourself. .
I'm grateful for your material, Darlene, I'm going to explore it more. Just learned I'm co-dependent, going through my second divorce, and I have to work hard to stop blaming, both myself and her. She struggles with chronic illnesses that doctors can't diagnose, and I tried to serve her to the point where she could start finding a place of strength. No addictions on my end (20 years sober) but anger issues due to being neglected, unable to find who I should be at home. Running away from myself for years. Now I'm trying to connect the dots for me, about me. Lots of shame and anger at being ignored while I've been trying to work on the relationship. Long story short and incomplete... But in the end, I am needing to understand how I'm wired (individuate?), accept it and finally thrive in life. I'll be 60 soon and it freaks me out a bit the time I don't have.
There's lots of information on my website and several blogs on divorce and rejection, too. www.whatiscodependency.com. See my UA-cam and ebook on Overcoming Guilt - "Freedom from Guilt and Blame."
Yes, thanks! Any of your books in audio format?
No, but you can download MP3's of UA-cam soundtracks and listen to seminars and interviews on my website and on soundcloud here: soundcloud.com/darlenelancer-1
and on clyp here: clyp.it/user/fim53c31
I wish it were easier for interdependents to find each other and be happy.
Found it interesting that A.J. Mahari says her clients that are on the BPD spectrum talk about their loneliness and those that are narcissistic talk about their emptiness to describe their internal landscape.
That makes sense since people with BPD have deep abandonment issues and seek to merge; while people with NPD don't seek connection and closeness, so feel empty inside. A covert narcissist acts more like someone with BPD.
I pursued women that were unavailable so I have given up on relationships.... I also had a Traumatic Brain Injury(TBI) and that creates confusion when women send mixed messages and that's another reason why I avoid relationships...
Thank you so much ❣️
Take a look at www.whaaaatiscodependency.com
Darlene you have been the light I've been searching for. This is all new to me, but I'm currently separated from a narcissistic husband, were in living apart but going to counseling. I've never heard of codependency until last night and I've been binging on your work for 12 hours now. I cried as I listed to a podcast you were on, you were describing my life right down to using an example of someone losing a sibling, which happened to me almost three years ago. Is there any advise or reading material you'd recommend for a codependent married to a mean narcissist?
There's lots you can do now that you know. Many relevant articles are on my website, www.whatiscodependency.com. I'd read "Codependency for Dummies" and "Dealing with a Narcissist." Both are on Amazon, and the latter is on my website in a downloadable PDF form, here. www.whatiscodependency.com/books-on-codependency/#8
Thank you again, I have purchased a few of you books and I'm looking forward to conquering this and hopefully my husband and I can begin to heal move forward. This will be a long journey but now I'm confident I am on the right path.
@@USLAX_GUY There are ways that help remember, but change can only happen in the present, so it's not necessary. Attend Al-Anon meetings right away, though!
I always thought something was wrong with me...
Luv this been looking for how better myself thank you
Glad I could help. "Conquering Shame and Codependency" has a chapter on emptiness, and there is a lengthy article on it on my website, www.whatiscodependency.com
I can function great by myself. But when I was with someone in the past, I stopped being my own person. If my partner was controling, then I allowed him to control my life, he had his life, but I didn't have mine. I guess that it is being co-dependent?
Yes. See my blog "Do I have to lose me to love you?" whatiscodependency.com/lost-self-codependent-relationships/
Yes, unfortunately. Read whatiscodependency.com/lost-self-codependent-relationships/
Thank you Darlene I just listened to your advice here :) which was Great again :) anyway, I wanted to let you know I just discovered what to do on clyp.it & how I can use it Thank you so much Darlene you are Wonderful :)
I'm so glad it was helpful!
Darlene you said something about Clyp.it? What is it about? & What do I & can I do on clyp.it?
clyp.it/user/fim53c31 & soundcloud.com/darlenelancer-1 are for audio files of my interviews. Also see the Media page of my website for more seminars and talks.
Ok thank you so much Darlene :) I greatly appreciate your help in guiding me into the right direction :)
Wow Codependent relationship is dynfucntional with oneself. Im definitly a HSP codependent so guess Im a beta male.
I'm in a codependent, non-abusive marriage. I don't like it.
That's a good sign that you don't like it! Some people do. Now you have to learn to access your power to change your circumstances. Go to my website, read my books, go to 12-step meetings, and get therapy.
Yes! In fact, therapy has helped me get to this point. Before, I just felt a vague sense of loathing for my husband, but my therapist has helped me to take my focus off of him. It's helping. Your book titles seem right on the mark for me now.
@@DarleneLancer may I ask why 12 step meetings? Isn't that for alcoholics?
@@steve-bodysolutions Great question. I was referring to www.coda.org or Al-Anon meetings. These are fabulous self-help meetings to work on codependency. Also to work with a therapist.
@@DarleneLancer I see. Does your conquering shame and codelendacy book have a self help process and does it come in audio?
How the hell do you know wether a woman who doesn't work outside the home doesn't have an increadably inner individualized life?????!!!!YOU DONT.
Correct. I didn't say that. Individuation is not dependent on working. You can be financially dependent on someone and emotionally interdependent. Some people think you have to be able to support yourself financially to have a healthy relationship and be emotionally independent, but that's untrue, and often the reverse is. Many wealthy executives are emotionally dependent on their spouse or other people. Hope that answers your question. Read more about interdependency at www.whatiscodependency.com/blog.