I'm really glad that he made the distinction with afflictions... I've often felt this way; that unwanted singleness is *not* a gift. I've been told by (married, of course) Christians, who seem to have a penchant for self-flagellation, that I shouldn't struggle with being single, that being sad about it is tantamount to sin..all sorts of nonsense. I've often felt that being single is a distraction for me. I understand not being bitter about being single, and not idolizing marriage, and not having unrealistic expectations about marriage...but I really wish Christians would stop treating single people this way. It does a lot of damage, and I can attest to that personally.
You and me both! I’m glad he gave that distinction between afflictions and gifts. I never was very receptive to people telling me the “singleness is a gift! Don’t be so upset about your singleness!” Kind of thing. I’m glad I’m not alone and standing firm to sound teaching. Sometimes I wish people would read 1 Timothy 4.
Its like telling a married couple wo wants kids but have not succeeded that having an empty nest is a gift and that they should not be sad or bothered by the fact they still don't have a child while they watch everyone they know have their first second and third births. Oh and they should accept the possibility of never becoming a parent "Dont make parenthood an idol"
My personal opinion about why married people try to discourage singles from marriage and make them feel as though it’s sinful to be preoccupied with finding a loving companion, is because they themselves, as a married couple, are not enjoying their marriage, and would secretly wish that they could become single again. At least for an extended time period. If couples were enjoying their marriages then they would be broken and compassionate on behalf of those who were still single, and try to aid them in finding them a spouse. The reason they don’t wanna help us is because they’re secretly envious of our position of singleness. I bet 4/5 times this is the case. Most married Christian’s I have a sense, are simply not happy. Marriage for the Christian is Gods tool of sanctification, not happiness. Singleness for the Christian is Gods tool for sanctification. Jesus somehow said that those who hate their lives in this life will keep it unto eternal life John 12 Even logic says that two are better than one, for when one falls the other will lift up their fellow. Married people should be heralding the grace and love of God. But they are sometimes more selfish than single Christian’s. I think if God didn’t provide marriage for some people they would become criminals or something bad. So God makes a provision for them so they don’t turn into monsters. The reason God entrusts singleness with many of us sincere believers is because He knows that He can; and we will still pray and try to love our neighbor as ourselves. The single Christian will have a greater glory when all is said and done. But it doesn’t make the loneliness or the pain any easier. I write as a 34 yo man who never had an actual relationship before.
An affliction is how I feel about being single, its a heartache that never goes away, a knife being twisted in a wound for every year that goes by. Chronic emotional pain with no sign of relief in sight, a feeling that only someone of my kind understands.
Im to the point where I want to completely disconnect myself from it. I don't want to think about any more and Im tired of all the negative feelings that come with the entire thing.@@clayton4917
Really? I love being single and my solitude. Even as a young child I had no desire to marry or have children. Some may find that odd, especially having female reproductive organs. I am an artist and am absolutely full. I wouldn't change it. Marriage and children are not for all of us. It just proves that we are all different. We should learn if nothing else to listen and respect others, though they may not believe or think or share the same desires. 😊
@@tadasblinda8370 judgement , that's the Christian way , church preaches judgement, fear and shame that's what they do best , how else do you keep the mases in line . And remember give 10% cause this padre needs a 6 figure income and house in the suburbs.
This was excellent... Sometimes I feel like I need to hear this every day. It seems to me much of the Evangelical church has been gaslighting singles for years. I have been comparing it lately to unemployment - Most Christians wouldn't bat an eyelid if I said "God's design is for the vast majority of us (at least men) to work jobs." Assuming of course some couldn't for health reasons etc, unemployment is seen as an affliction, or a trial. No-one would say to an unemployed guy as their first instinct, "Be careful you don't make work an idol..."
I genuinely appreciate this sermon. I'm 29, have been single my whole life with many pursuits ending with failure, but still desire marriage. Thank you for calling out the feminist doctrine infecting our churches. I still wait upon the Lord! Grace and peace to y'all from the Pelican State. My church loves and appreciates the ministry up there! J-Poe
Everyone who asks shall receive. Everyone. Everyone who seeks shall find. Everyone Everyone who knocks to him it shall be opened. Everyone. Matthew 7:7,8
@@1Whipperin I do agree with your premise. Also because it actually gives strength to the world/state when you are requiring a license to marry. What I’m saying is that when you have such incentives like if you divorce your husband you will get 50% of his belongings and then child support. This makes it that much tempting for us sinners to walk out of marriage, especially for women. My argument may have holes in it but I think you can get what I’m saying.
Unmarried 37, sometimes it feels hopeless. Before I came to faith in Christ, I bought into some feminist ideologies, unknowingly. Now I have this career that, I feel deters godly men from considering me at all. I love how this pastor breaks the topic of marriage down. It's a true eye-opener for diasporic audiences, without much experience in the topic of dating in the American culture. What a blessing!
The moment he referred to it as an affliction, I fell to my knees in tearful prayer. What a beautiful teaching. So much to reflect on. God is using this man mightily. Praying for all of those who are struggling in singleness. God is sovereign. His plans will prevail despite the corruption sin has had on marriage.
Parents and even grandparents a lot of times, do not help in regard to getting married. The priority seems to be graduating from college ( so now you’re 22), then graduating with an even higher degree ( so now you’re 26-28). Then it’s, well you should buy a house, or have enough savings. In the meantime, sexual sin is taking place off the charts! I get it that family doesn’t want you to struggle financially, but the struggle many times is what brings you together as a couple. Especially as a Christian couple. Encouraging one another, being there for one another, are the things that make you appreciative of each other and make you look back and see how far you’ve come and how good God has been to you! It also causes us to be less selfish, which is so much of what we see in our culture. The struggle causes us to have less of an entitlement mentality and be more content in the process.
Im 38, been married for 10 years, and have an 18 month old daughter. From my personal experience, I hope to homeschool her and prepare her for life much earlier than her mother and I. We lived and learned and we should have gotten married 20 years ago when we got together. Im ashamed and I hope my children, even having them later in life, will learn from our mistakes. It was a hard 8 years of courtship and shouldnt have been.
This is what I've been thinking as well. That same mindset has been put in my head by my parents, and now I'm really understanding how this isn't proper.
Indeed, I always say it’s better to struggle at first and grow together than to try to have everything and then go for it. Of course someone will be faithful to you if you have a ton of money and big house because they get stuff but when the bottom falls out they leave. But if you struggle and grow together you learn loyalty and selflessness and will be faithful. Marry young if possible.
As a new born christian I am realizing every day how messed up was/and still is my mindset, heartset .. being convicted video after video, every chapter of the Holy Bible... It hurts. But what is that next to what Jesus Christ suffered in the cross to obey our Holy Father? Without God I would be hopeless now, neurotic, chaotic... And now, after this comment, I will pray! Because I now believe, trust and follow Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. And I believe God is powerful enough to change my heart, my mind, my soul, and to support me on the Way. Glory be to God!
Be very careful with Jesse Lee Peterson. He's funny and can make good arguments, but he is an open heretic. He denies the deity of Christ, the trinity, and the inerrancy of scripture. He believes that true Christians can't sin and that he doesn't sin ever. Apologia Studios did a radio show with him exposing his false teachings. He is a false teacher leading hundreds of thousands of people away from the triune God of scripture. Pray that he repents and steps down as 'pastor' from his 'church,' which he calls "The Church of Jesse Lee Peterson".
Watch Doug’s interview with Aaron Renn and Right Response Ministry’s interview with Michael Foster. Don’t decline to, and then say “only God…” That’s false piety
Great sermon. Brothers and sisters, don't get discouraged but you have to know your bible very well; then pray about it, then ask an advice from a loving person that knows his bible, like Doug, then take that step of faith, then get married. It's not that simple you say, but God cares about it let me tell you.
Very thankful for godly, bold, and masculine examples like Doug Wilson who are constantly going up to bat for the married and single Christian men of this country. We need more messages like this.
Thanks for this message. I have a very strong desire to be married and have a family but for whatever reason, it has yet to happen. It has been very frustrating watching as my younger friends have been married and started families seemingly effortlessly as I have continued to get older to the point the worry of being alone can almost feel insurmountable sometimes. As people marry and start families, they tend to gravitate to those in the same stage of life as them so your friend group is constantly shrinking around you. The church really does not know what to do with single people I feel after a certain age so you just kind of exist in a void...a no man's land, until you get so old that they can align you with some other demographic. I have had formerly single friends talk about the "gift of singleness" and that it is a blessing and a time to serve the church unhindered when I know their former single lives were nothing of the sort so it feels like hypocrisy when they lovingly seem to scold you for wanting the same thing they now have and not being content to be single. There is so much bad/misinformation out there your head feels like it is going to explode.
Yes ! How can you say I need to be content when I know you were clawing and scratching for marriage when you were single ? 🤔 People get married and then lose compassion for singles .
Magnificent, excellent talk on the subject and much more, particularly the turn to Christ at the end. There could have been more: Jesus lived that perfect life we cannot, so we need not torture ourselves over where we failed or sinned. He paid the price for all our sins, so whatever we have done, He has paid for that and we do not have that to hold power over us any longer.
You know, I read a reddit thread where people were talking about Doug Wilson's stance on this topic. I was surprised that so many of them were quite defensive. I, for one, find this extremely refreshing. I never could wrap my head around unwanted singlness as a gift. Is barreness a gift, also? "You know, kids can really distract a couple from ministry", they might say. Also, the doctrine of the gift of singlness becomes meaningless when they tell you that if you're single, then that's your gift, if you're married, that's your gift. So, whatever your state, it's a gift? How about cerebral palsy? Is that a gift? Not to say that the Lord can't turn an affliction into a blessing, usually to others, neither should one be bitter, even in affliction. But don't call an affliction a gift. They're only trying to make everything sunshine and roses.
I don't know if you have CP, but I do. And I definitely would call it an affliction. Through it the Lord has kept me humble, but I long for the day when He sends it down to the pit of hell where it belongs.
@@KevvoLightswift I do not have CP, fellow christian. . My health is fine, which is why I don't complain loudly about singleness. Folks actually get offended when I tell them that as bad as unwanted singleness can be, that being single due to terrible disability is much worse. I don't want to whine and complain. Lot of people have it much worse than me. I'm fine. God bless you. Looking forward to meeting people like you on the other side.
The day and age we live in needs more help for single people. I am tired of hearing how inferior I am as a single person. I don't see why risking divorce is better. The odds are against it. Better to have good friends. I am tired of everyone bragging about how many grandchildren they have and their trips to Europe. Being single is great and just don't understand why family is the goal. I lost my mother, sister and her son. I have no family at present. I will survive but cant help feeling left out and inferior. People just don't see people like me. Reality Pray for us singles!
A relationship with someone you will live with for the rest of your life? Yes. Amen. But a “marriage” aka legal binding document that allows two strangers the right to destroy your lives (with a very substantial service fee I might add) when one of you ends it? No thanks.
Marriage is so much more than just a legal document. It isn't just an agreement with government about money or houses. It is a sacred oath taken before God. To live with someone outside of that covenant would be immoral. I'm as libertarian as it gets, so I don't want the government in marriage at all. It is an oath before the triune God and vows to one another. Looking st marriage from a monetary perspective alone is wrong. Obviously the risk to men is high, but sign a prenup or make sure you find a godly woman.
Joseph Aguilar I can respect that. But I’ll sign a prenup. But better yet why even sign a legal binding document? Why not just use your own blood as ink and sign an oath before your god? The mafia makes oaths of commitment and they hold it sacred which isn’t held by any legal standards. In fact it’s the opposite and really hard for them to uphold their commitments. But a lot of them do. Point is, you don’t need anything legally binding to pledge an oath of commitment to your special person.
'Why don't you just go ask a girl out? There are plenty of girls going to be at the single 's ministry!' My personal experience of finally having the guts to simply ask a church girl out for coffee, escalated into a border-line sexual harassment allegation where I was called in not only by my ministry colleague, followed by my ministry director, but also called in by one of the associate pastors of the church I was serving in at the time..... all three of them, one after the other....on the same day regarding the alleged accusation. That traumatic experience in a church was what caused me not only to leave that church, but also to totally abandon going to any church singles ministry for the rest of my life. That incident happened 20 years ago. That's why I don't ask out Christian girls ....for fear that it completely destroys the witness of Christ in my life as a single man through false sexual harassment allegations. Now at aged 47, I've learned to be content with my bachelor-hood in Christ. I still desire marriage, but God is going to have to guide the process through His Spirit and His Word, because I'm in no hurry to get married after that experience which although I have forgiven all involved, it is has been traumatic enough to never forget. Doug is one of the very few Biblical teachers that actually addresses these bigger and deeper culture issues that have infiltrated the church for us singles......especially for Christian single men who have been bashed on this issue for so very long. Thank you so much for this.
We are the same age and the same boat. I never married. It’s hard feeling like such an oddball all the time around everyone else at church being married with kids. So awkward. I know I don’t have the gift of celibacy though since I do desire sex and get sexually tempted. It seems the Bible has no middle ground, it’s either you have the gift of celibacy or you should be married since “self gratification” doesn’t seem to be in God’s plan for man. But, these days.. finding a potential spouse and/or a happy marriage seems easier said than done. Especially when we reach our late 40’s. Nothing is impossible with God but it’s not like our friends are trying to “hook us up” anymore. So it gets tougher meeting new people.
I respect and listen to any biblically based preacher who has the courage to address the perverse cultural intrusions into today's church! Most seem to be afraid to. So many have a different sense of fear than they should. They appear to be more concerned with filling pews via a watered down "Cheap grace" message, pleasing man, not The Creator.
Most singleness sermons I hear are useless “gift” speeches and I can’t stand them anymore. I like this pastor if for nothing else his admitting that singleness is an affliction and often a distraction. These are two things many in the average church will resist admitting to with a passion, maybe because they don’t want to get involved with single people. I don’t know. What I do know is now in my 50s and never married and no children singleness is ,was and always will be an affliction and a distraction .
@@kristinccha No but maybe that’s for younger people. I guess I just don’t understand why the answer to such an important question with consequences so important to the church must be solved outside the church?
@@jwow19 I respect that. I am sorry . I know it must be so hard. I got married very young in college so I cannot say I fully understand, but I do sympathize.
One thing that I think really needs to be added into this discussion is the various forces/influences causing over-inflated standards specifically among women.
I have never heard a Pastor ever try to tackle this monster. The church is in such a sad state. I can't help but think about Paul and his letters to the churches. Alot of his content was reminding them not to conform, not to look like and do things like the world does them. What is good parenting these days? More importantly where is Godly parenting In the church today? Thank you Lord for such Pastors as these. You know we are in dire need of them.
Huh, I always thought egalitarianism was wanting equality of treatment, and not necessarily equity (equality of outcome). Could be semantics. Either way, I totally agree that equity and the idea of social progress taking higher priority than scripture have been poisoning the Church. Coming to the end of college and then hopefully marriage to a God-seeking man that I have been so far blessed to have in my life, I'm feeling the pressure creeping up in that Gen Z will need to take up the baton soon and pray that God brings the Church back to His word. We sure know that living in an ungodly society will get harder as we come closer to Christ's return, and we need all the help from God and support from/accountability for each other as we can.
So swathes of unmarried, Christian women exist because men have not grown up? More men have observed the growing divorce rate statistics, especially the stats that show who initiates the divorce. I'd say that's a fairly reasonable, grown up thing to do when making the second most important decision for your life and when they see how divorce courts come down heavily on men. It's also easy for men to be dismissive of marriage when they see Christian couples getting divorced. Pastor Doug is spot on with his take on how we've got here. It's so important not to get engulfed in sinful trends that are prominent in secular society so a muscular Christianity needs to be promoted to young men.
As usual, Doug delivered a beautiful sermon. His cultural analysis was spot on. There is another video attached at the end after Doug prays! Was it just me or what?
Only halfway through but...ummm... who's gonna tell him that gentle and doormat aren't the same thing? Men being gentle is a good thing. It's a fruit of the Spirit.
Canon Press, thank you for this message! Also, what are the other 2 messages from this series? I'd really like to take them in context with this one and complete the study, please. THANKS!
I believe all marriages are arranged marriages. It's just a matter of who does the arranging and how. Arrangements need to be made, somewhat like a funeral.
I keep hearing the church is full of God-fearing single women, but where are they? Honest question. I find it funny that my church tells me to get married. But how to find and court a good woman, or how to prepare to be the best husband I can be? They just tell me to wait on the Lord, as though I am to sit, slack-jawed, until my bride and I just stumble over each other.
I'm divorced and unable to remarry. I have a choice: sin or live a life of self denial and suffering. I choose the latter as the former is not an option! Life will become more and more difficult as I get older, but so be it...
I was told this after my divorce (a divorce I didn't want). After much prayer, God brought to mind scripture that gave me peace of mind about remarriage. You don't have to remain alone, especially since God's word says it is not good that man should not be alone.
Being single is so painful for me. For over a year I was in intense depression about it and thought about death every day. It got so bad I could tell when I was about to get my period because I would think about death all day long on those days, from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. I was grateful if it happened on a workday so I could at least force myself to think about my tasks at work and it would allow me small breaks. It was a totally mentally and emotionally exhausting state to be in for over a year. In the end the only thing that worked for me was to give up on the idea that I would ever find a husband. To accept I did something wrong and am now in essence expired goods is not an easy pill to swallow, but is reality. But giving up hope was the only thing that helped give my brain a rest from the constant stress and sadness. I almost felt like myself again. I’ve messed up and didn’t figure out the dating thing in time and now I have to live with that. Loneliness is an absolutely crushing state of being and I felt like an empty shell person for a long time because of it. I still don’t care about my life, but I at least don’t crave the end of it. It’s a step up, I guess.
“In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.” C.S. Lewis. I see far too much in the Church, that would make men, not just servants, but SERFS. It demands service, without reward. It demands responsibility without authority. It demands sacrifice, without gratitude. That is not my idea of a good marriage. Christ was a servant, but he is also LORD. Moses served his people, but they were expected to obey and God punished them when they did not.
That early point about preachers needing to be more than just a text exegete is very important. A culturally illiterate preacher will struggle to translate the message to their congregants. That's why I know I'm not really a preacher. I am much better at exegeting the text itself.
As an exclusively same sex attracted man, is it ok for me to marry a woman and not tell her about my attraction? I'm not at all attracted to women, but I really want to get married, and I think I might be able to manage it in the bedroom (sorry if that's too graphic, but that's a very serious concern for me).
If there is no sexual attraction to your spouse then disaster will soon follow. Don’t lie to her And don’t set your self up for failure. If you want to get married the Bible way, then you have some serious things to sort out and pray about.
@@donbattos6249 But I'v prayed about this for almost 2 decades and nothing has changed about my attractions. I still have intense desires and romantic feelings about men. Sometimes I hate myself so much for having these gross sinful feelings. As I get on in life I feel this soul crushing loneliness come over me almost every day, with the fear I will grow old without a companion. Would it be ok if I found a woman who was ok with me experiencing these attractions?
I'm so sorry for your pain. I'm a celibate Christian as well and the double bind the church has built - that marriage and family is the only right way to fully honor God, and that it's the only way to belong and be loved, and then to tell gay people they can't have those things(or rather, can only have them with someone they are repulsed at the thought of having sex with), is wrong. It is the reason so many have killed themselves. It's also a horrendous lie. If you are same-sex attracted an committed to honoring God in celibacy, might I suggest joining a faith community that will support and walk closely with you? We all need community. We all need to belong to a family. The church is meant to be that family for us single people!
Jesus said... ' I am the Bread of Life'.... Feed me Lord.... The First miracle of feeding the 5000 is in Matthew, Marc, Luke and John........ . ' Bread... Manna'... Feed the Jews first.... The 4000 the Gentiles second... Man cannot live on bread alone but every Word that procédés forth from the mouth of God.... Bethlehem.. The place of Bread... Naomi leaves the ' place of Bread'.... She returns later.... Too much insight here..... I NEED YOU LORD JESUS.... You are LORD
I have mast cell. I tried to marry a christian man but I didn't think I was suppose too. He had a hard time with my mast cell. I can't marry because mast cell is not fair to a spouse.
I forgot what video you had when you describe the Bible as myths using Barnabas and the donkey as an example. The proof is all around. We live in an age when we have these kind of things on video.
From a biblical standpoint, when do a man and woman become husband and wife... at which point are they married? And what is the mechanism that makes them married?
Samuel Davidson so are two people married when they declare a covenant between themselves with god as their witness? You don’t need a wedding in a traditional sense? You don’t need a pastor or the state?
Paul flat out said it's better not to marry. That was way back then. I can't imagine what he'd be saying now. The reason Christian marriages fail so often is because of feminist indoctrination of women. And its just as rampant in the church as outside. Most women feel they DESERVE the absolute BEST. This is drilled into their heads from birth. All done under the satanic self esteem movement which is nothing more than how to create a narcissist. Women's promiscuity is another huge factor. Science is unquestionable now; the more partners a woman has, the more her ability to pair bond is destroyed. Couple that with no fault divorce, where the woman wins cash and prizes breaking the covenant and it's no wonder they file 70% of divorces.
How wrong he is. He is talking about a symptom of the problem, not the problem. So, he said in one generation (1950's or so) women were marrying at 20, and men at 23. Now, 28-30 yrs old. In one generation masculinity did not take a dive to make the ages or marriage change that much! You have to ask yourself, what happen in 1950 until today 2022? Well, we know no-fault divorce happened. The pill happened. And a whole bunch of federal and state programs that empowered women and protected children. We had shows like leave it to beaver back in the 50-60's. As well as many other shows that had the man work outside of the home, and the mother/wife was a homemaker. Allowing women to divorce without showing cause changed divorce from a lawsuit to an administrative decision. And then custody was not about giving the children to the innocent party of the divorce, but who the court thought was a better parent. Even if the parent was the one who cheated on the marriage (adultery), and initiated the divorce. The world will always use descression to give the child who best looks like the world. Not the church. So, the Christian spouse has been given the short end of the stick in divorce and custody matters. The problem is women have been empowered and the church is doing nothing about it. The problem with masculity is the men who were in place of office bow-down to the women feminist groups like National Organization of Women (NOW) It was only AFTER women have been empowered that they developed a sense of entitlement. And with the entitlement, they started to look down on men. It always starts with men, as they are the ones that were leading this Nation. But the problem is not that men don't know how to be good husbands. The problem is men in office gave women power and then this power turned into entitlement. If the church would have stood up against unilateral, no-faut divorce this problem would not have been as bad as it is today.
I personally think it's more economic, people can't live off of one person's income as much as they used to be able to, so everyone, male and female, is spending their youth going to school and getting higher education just for a chance at a good job. By the time they graduate they're early to mid 20's, but then they have so much debt they might not want to settle down yet... its complicated and it sucks, I'm sure there must be a better way but it's hard to see
I get what your saying but charity doesnt have to be belittling I think he was using it in the way of carry and considerate towards their disability I think that’s what he meant
@39:25 referencing Jepthah’s burning of his daughter to satisfy Yahweh?.....yeah, that seems appropriate. ;). It seems there’s at least two types of men, ones that are willing to kill their children and other’s when a voice in their head tells them to, and ones that tell that god to go “know” herself.
All it says is that Jephthah made a vow for sacrifice. After that point, it never says what God actually thought about it, in fact it doesn't refer to Him much at all. Personally I think it would have grieved God.
Aren’t masculinity and femininity two sides to the same coin of humanity? if i am to be transformed into a whole and complete human being (in other words, if I am to aspire toward being the imago Dei, if I am to be holy), shouldn’t both my masculinity and femininity be realized?
Samuel Davidson to my knowledge there is only one imago Dei. We are reflected in Christ. So what do you mean “both those imago dei”? Are you saying that women can’t be like Christ because Christ is a man? Another way of asking, is Christ only masculine because he is male?
Samuel Davidson actually it gets pretty clear if you pay close attention to how genesis 1 and 2 are worded (just reread the passage in light of this conversation). In genesis 1, Adam is created in the image of god. And then in chapter 2, woman is taken out of man; Eve is created out of the material provided in Adam. So femininity is subsumed by masculinity. And femininity is elemental to masculinity. So ya... if you really want to aspire to be the imago dei, you have to completely realize your masculinity and femininity.
In a sense, Christ alone is the image of the invisible God, as Scripture teaches. In another sense, no two humans bear the same image of God. God was pleased to have himself revealed in a great multitude of human beings, each with a unique stamp on them. Men and women both bear image of God. Neither exhaustively. When I reflect Christ, I'm not thereby assumed into the same being that Christ is. I'm a creature distinct from Christ, my Maker. So
I’ll stick with your 2 sides of the same coin metaphor and say, indeed, man is one side and female is the other side. That’s why they shall be joined together and become one flesh. Thus completing the picture. I’m not called to realize masculinity and femininity in my myself. But rather, they are objective standards, created by God, which when joined, become one flesh.
"Singleness is an affliction." No. Absolutely not. The reason it's so hard to be a single in the church is because we worship marriage, family, and sex. If the church were *really* a place where single people could belong - a family - if it didn't put marriage in the place of God - then singles would flourish in the church. Brothers and sisters, we would flourish. This ideology is horrifying.
May I humbly suggest that the choice is not between singleness and the "idol" of marriage. Work, either in or outside the home, is normative because as a means of providence, God is glorified by our fruitful labors. Likewise marriage is the norm because in the raising of children and the reflection of Christ and the Church, God is glorified. Much more, marriage is a foundry in which our character is shaped. Blessings to you.
@@thisgeneration2894 not sure how what you said has anything to do with the topic at hand. Are you saying God prohibits singleness? 1 Corinthians 7:25-35. Singleness and celibacy are gifts given by God for the good of the Church and should be treated as such.
Time-stamps 4:40 - two worlds: what a preacher must do 5:10, 5:50 - 1 Chronicles 12:32 and understanding the times 6:07 - marriage and Genesis Genesis 1:27-28 12:50 - why is this happening? 15:25, 15:40 - “monkey see, monkey do” Are we actually fighting against the world, or just straggling behind - eventually succumbing to worldly trends anyway?
I'm really glad that he made the distinction with afflictions... I've often felt this way; that unwanted singleness is *not* a gift. I've been told by (married, of course) Christians, who seem to have a penchant for self-flagellation, that I shouldn't struggle with being single, that being sad about it is tantamount to sin..all sorts of nonsense. I've often felt that being single is a distraction for me.
I understand not being bitter about being single, and not idolizing marriage, and not having unrealistic expectations about marriage...but I really wish Christians would stop treating single people this way. It does a lot of damage, and I can attest to that personally.
You and me both! I’m glad he gave that distinction between afflictions and gifts. I never was very receptive to people telling me the “singleness is a gift! Don’t be so upset about your singleness!” Kind of thing. I’m glad I’m not alone and standing firm to sound teaching.
Sometimes I wish people would read 1 Timothy 4.
Amen
Everything you said 🤌🏾💯
Its like telling a married couple wo wants kids but have not succeeded that having an empty nest is a gift and that they should not be sad or bothered by the fact they still don't have a child while they watch everyone they know have their first second and third births. Oh and they should accept the possibility of never becoming a parent "Dont make parenthood an idol"
My personal opinion about why married people try to discourage singles from marriage and make them feel as though it’s sinful to be preoccupied with finding a loving companion, is because they themselves, as a married couple, are not enjoying their marriage, and would secretly wish that they could become single again. At least for an extended time period.
If couples were enjoying their marriages then they would be broken and compassionate on behalf of those who were still single, and try to aid them in finding them a spouse.
The reason they don’t wanna help us is because they’re secretly envious of our position of singleness.
I bet 4/5 times this is the case. Most married Christian’s I have a sense, are simply not happy.
Marriage for the Christian is Gods tool of sanctification, not happiness.
Singleness for the Christian is Gods tool for sanctification.
Jesus somehow said that those who hate their lives in this life will keep it unto eternal life John 12
Even logic says that two are better than one, for when one falls the other will lift up their fellow.
Married people should be heralding the grace and love of God. But they are sometimes more selfish than single Christian’s.
I think if God didn’t provide marriage for some people they would become criminals or something bad. So God makes a provision for them so they don’t turn into monsters.
The reason God entrusts singleness with many of us sincere believers is because He knows that He can; and we will still pray and try to love our neighbor as ourselves.
The single Christian will have a greater glory when all is said and done. But it doesn’t make the loneliness or the pain any easier.
I write as a 34 yo man who never had an actual relationship before.
An affliction is how I feel about being single, its a heartache that never goes away, a knife being twisted in a wound for every year that goes by. Chronic emotional pain with no sign of relief in sight, a feeling that only someone of my kind understands.
I hear ya. 38 year old single male. I hate every holiday lol
Im to the point where I want to completely disconnect myself from it. I don't want to think about any more and Im tired of all the negative feelings that come with the entire thing.@@clayton4917
Really? I love being single and my solitude. Even as a young child I had no desire to marry or have children. Some may find that odd, especially having female reproductive organs. I am an artist and am absolutely full.
I wouldn't change it. Marriage and children are not for all of us. It just proves that we are all different. We should learn if nothing else to listen and respect others, though they may not believe or think or share the same desires.
😊
I dont want children either, but I don't want to be single at all. But it looks like that's going to be the sad life for me.@@doriangray7723
42 never married. Praying sincerely to be a wife.
Thank you for this! As an unmarried 36 year old woman who desires to be married, as God wills it, I needed to hear this.
You had plenty of men interested in you, but you chose none of them. The problem is you.
@@tadasblinda8370 you make assumptions much? Like a good Christian judgmental!
@@sitka49 Are you judging my judging?
@@tadasblinda8370 judgement , that's the Christian way ,
church preaches judgement, fear and shame that's what they do best , how else do you keep the mases in line . And remember give 10% cause this padre needs a 6 figure income and house in the suburbs.
@@tadasblinda8370 judging your judgement of their judgement.
This was excellent... Sometimes I feel like I need to hear this every day. It seems to me much of the Evangelical church has been gaslighting singles for years. I have been comparing it lately to unemployment - Most Christians wouldn't bat an eyelid if I said "God's design is for the vast majority of us (at least men) to work jobs." Assuming of course some couldn't for health reasons etc, unemployment is seen as an affliction, or a trial. No-one would say to an unemployed guy as their first instinct, "Be careful you don't make work an idol..."
SOOOOO true!!!
Satan wants to destroy the family. Either by destroying existing families or preventing future families from forming.
"You don't need a job! God is enough. Just enjoy your unemployment and learn to love God and yourself."
Good point!
I genuinely appreciate this sermon. I'm 29, have been single my whole life with many pursuits ending with failure, but still desire marriage. Thank you for calling out the feminist doctrine infecting our churches. I still wait upon the Lord! Grace and peace to y'all from the Pelican State. My church loves and appreciates the ministry up there!
J-Poe
Everyone who asks shall receive. Everyone.
Everyone who seeks shall find. Everyone
Everyone who knocks to him it shall be opened. Everyone.
Matthew 7:7,8
@@tomhitchcock8195 this is a great verse, but really doesn't apply to what he is saying. This is about salvation.
Dude blames feminism because no one wants to be with him 😅 haha okay bud.
@@jesusiscurtis He's not wrong.
@@1Whipperin I do agree with your premise. Also because it actually gives strength to the world/state when you are requiring a license to marry. What I’m saying is that when you have such incentives like if you divorce your husband you will get 50% of his belongings and then child support. This makes it that much tempting for us sinners to walk out of marriage, especially for women. My argument may have holes in it but I think you can get what I’m saying.
Unmarried 37, sometimes it feels hopeless. Before I came to faith in Christ, I bought into some feminist ideologies, unknowingly. Now I have this career that, I feel deters godly men from considering me at all. I love how this pastor breaks the topic of marriage down. It's a true eye-opener for diasporic audiences, without much experience in the topic of dating in the American culture. What a blessing!
Unmarried at 35, I know the sorrow. Learning to strive for joy in Christ while I suffer this affliction has been the hardest part of my walk.
The moment he referred to it as an affliction, I fell to my knees in tearful prayer. What a beautiful teaching. So much to reflect on. God is using this man mightily. Praying for all of those who are struggling in singleness. God is sovereign. His plans will prevail despite the corruption sin has had on marriage.
Parents and even grandparents a lot of times, do not help in regard to getting married. The priority seems to be graduating from college ( so now you’re 22), then graduating with an even higher degree ( so now you’re 26-28). Then it’s, well you should buy a house, or have enough savings. In the meantime, sexual sin is taking place off the charts! I get it that family doesn’t want you to struggle financially, but the struggle many times is what brings you together as a couple. Especially as a Christian couple. Encouraging one another, being there for one another, are the things that make you appreciative of each other and make you look back and see how far you’ve come and how good God has been to you! It also causes us to be less selfish, which is so much of what we see in our culture. The struggle causes us to have less of an entitlement mentality and be more content in the process.
Im 38, been married for 10 years, and have an 18 month old daughter. From my personal experience, I hope to homeschool her and prepare her for life much earlier than her mother and I. We lived and learned and we should have gotten married 20 years ago when we got together. Im ashamed and I hope my children, even having them later in life, will learn from our mistakes. It was a hard 8 years of courtship and shouldnt have been.
@@joshhigdon4951 Your attitude is a good one. None of us are perfect, yet we should always work towards perfection. Stay safe and strong:)
*AMEN* *SISTER* - couldn’t have said it better myself. I feel this way ALL the time and it is the most frustrating thing.
This is what I've been thinking as well. That same mindset has been put in my head by my parents, and now I'm really understanding how this isn't proper.
Indeed, I always say it’s better to struggle at first and grow together than to try to have everything and then go for it. Of course someone will be faithful to you if you have a ton of money and big house because they get stuff but when the bottom falls out they leave. But if you struggle and grow together you learn loyalty and selflessness and will be faithful. Marry young if possible.
I'd like to see a discussion between Douglas Wilson and Jordan B. Peterson.
As a new born christian I am realizing every day how messed up was/and still is my mindset, heartset .. being convicted video after video, every chapter of the Holy Bible... It hurts. But what is that next to what Jesus Christ suffered in the cross to obey our Holy Father? Without God I would be hopeless now, neurotic, chaotic... And now, after this comment, I will pray! Because I now believe, trust and follow Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. And I believe God is powerful enough to change my heart, my mind, my soul, and to support me on the Way. Glory be to God!
Never thought I’d hear Doug say “Beta males” Amazing
That's amazing. - Jesse Lee Peterson
Yeah exactly lol, thought I was the only one who watched Jesse and Doug
Be very careful with Jesse Lee Peterson. He's funny and can make good arguments, but he is an open heretic. He denies the deity of Christ, the trinity, and the inerrancy of scripture. He believes that true Christians can't sin and that he doesn't sin ever. Apologia Studios did a radio show with him exposing his false teachings. He is a false teacher leading hundreds of thousands of people away from the triune God of scripture. Pray that he repents and steps down as 'pastor' from his 'church,' which he calls "The Church of Jesse Lee Peterson".
You’re 100% right, he’s just very funny
^^^^^
26 and afflicted with singleness. Only God could fix this if he wants to. I pray that I would be prepared well to lead a family.
26? Try over 50. Good grief!
Amen
Watch Doug’s interview with Aaron Renn and Right Response Ministry’s interview with Michael Foster. Don’t decline to, and then say “only God…” That’s false piety
Great sermon.
Brothers and sisters, don't get discouraged but you have to know your bible very well; then pray about it, then ask an advice from a loving person that knows his bible, like Doug, then take that step of faith, then get married.
It's not that simple you say, but God cares about it let me tell you.
Very thankful for godly, bold, and masculine examples like Doug Wilson who are constantly going up to bat for the married and single Christian men of this country. We need more messages like this.
Thanks for this message. I have a very strong desire to be married and have a family but for whatever reason, it has yet to happen. It has been very frustrating watching as my younger friends have been married and started families seemingly effortlessly as I have continued to get older to the point the worry of being alone can almost feel insurmountable sometimes. As people marry and start families, they tend to gravitate to those in the same stage of life as them so your friend group is constantly shrinking around you. The church really does not know what to do with single people I feel after a certain age so you just kind of exist in a void...a no man's land, until you get so old that they can align you with some other demographic. I have had formerly single friends talk about the "gift of singleness" and that it is a blessing and a time to serve the church unhindered when I know their former single lives were nothing of the sort so it feels like hypocrisy when they lovingly seem to scold you for wanting the same thing they now have and not being content to be single. There is so much bad/misinformation out there your head feels like it is going to explode.
I relate to so much of what you said!! Especially the first part....really nailed it.
Yes ! How can you say I need to be content when I know you were clawing and scratching for marriage when you were single ? 🤔
People get married and then lose compassion for singles .
This sermon reminds me of reading Baxter. . .practical wisdom upon wisdom.
Magnificent, excellent talk on the subject and much more, particularly the turn to Christ at the end. There could have been more: Jesus lived that perfect life we cannot, so we need not torture ourselves over where we failed or sinned. He paid the price for all our sins, so whatever we have done, He has paid for that and we do not have that to hold power over us any longer.
You know, I read a reddit thread where people were talking about Doug Wilson's stance on this topic. I was surprised that so many of them were quite defensive. I, for one, find this extremely refreshing. I never could wrap my head around unwanted singlness as a gift. Is barreness a gift, also? "You know, kids can really distract a couple from ministry", they might say. Also, the doctrine of the gift of singlness becomes meaningless when they tell you that if you're single, then that's your gift, if you're married, that's your gift. So, whatever your state, it's a gift? How about cerebral palsy? Is that a gift? Not to say that the Lord can't turn an affliction into a blessing, usually to others, neither should one be bitter, even in affliction. But don't call an affliction a gift. They're only trying to make everything sunshine and roses.
I don't know if you have CP, but I do. And I definitely would call it an affliction. Through it the Lord has kept me humble, but I long for the day when He sends it down to the pit of hell where it belongs.
@@KevvoLightswift I do not have CP, fellow christian. . My health is fine, which is why I don't complain loudly about singleness. Folks actually get offended when I tell them that as bad as unwanted singleness can be, that being single due to terrible disability is much worse. I don't want to whine and complain. Lot of people have it much worse than me. I'm fine.
God bless you. Looking forward to meeting people like you on the other side.
If everything is a “gift”, why would we pray for healing, for provision, or any other need?
The day and age we live in needs more help for single people. I am tired of hearing how inferior I am as a single person. I don't see why risking divorce is better. The odds are against it. Better to have good friends. I am tired of everyone bragging about how many grandchildren they have and their trips to Europe. Being single is great and just don't understand why family is the goal. I lost my mother, sister and her son. I have no family at present. I will survive but cant help feeling left out and inferior. People just don't see people like me. Reality Pray for us singles!
Do you have a close church body?
How are you Deborah?
I keep wondering why so many Christian marriages are ending in divorce today.
This is so awesome. I have been praying for God and his wisdom as a single adult desiring marriage if it is Gods will.
A relationship with someone you will live with for the rest of your life? Yes. Amen. But a “marriage” aka legal binding document that allows two strangers the right to destroy your lives (with a very substantial service fee I might add) when one of you ends it? No thanks.
Marriage is so much more than just a legal document. It isn't just an agreement with government about money or houses. It is a sacred oath taken before God. To live with someone outside of that covenant would be immoral. I'm as libertarian as it gets, so I don't want the government in marriage at all. It is an oath before the triune God and vows to one another. Looking st marriage from a monetary perspective alone is wrong. Obviously the risk to men is high, but sign a prenup or make sure you find a godly woman.
Joseph Aguilar I can respect that. But I’ll sign a prenup. But better yet why even sign a legal binding document? Why not just use your own blood as ink and sign an oath before your god? The mafia makes oaths of commitment and they hold it sacred which isn’t held by any legal standards. In fact it’s the opposite and really hard for them to uphold their commitments. But a lot of them do. Point is, you don’t need anything legally binding to pledge an oath of commitment to your special person.
@@josephaguilar8652 then why get a marriage licence?
"Become the kind of person that the kind of person you would want to marry would want to marry" 24:08
'Why don't you just go ask a girl out? There are plenty of girls going to be at the single 's ministry!'
My personal experience of finally having the guts to simply ask a church girl out for coffee, escalated into a border-line sexual harassment allegation where I was called in not only by my ministry colleague, followed by my ministry director, but also called in by one of the associate pastors of the church I was serving in at the time..... all three of them, one after the other....on the same day regarding the alleged accusation. That traumatic experience in a church was what caused me not only to leave that church, but also to totally abandon going to any church singles ministry for the rest of my life. That incident happened 20 years ago.
That's why I don't ask out Christian girls ....for fear that it completely destroys the witness of Christ in my life as a single man through false sexual harassment allegations. Now at aged 47, I've learned to be content with my bachelor-hood in Christ. I still desire marriage, but God is going to have to guide the process through His Spirit and His Word, because I'm in no hurry to get married after that experience which although I have forgiven all involved, it is has been traumatic enough to never forget.
Doug is one of the very few Biblical teachers that actually addresses these bigger and deeper culture issues that have infiltrated the church for us singles......especially for Christian single men who have been bashed on this issue for so very long. Thank you so much for this.
Im just prayed for you by name brother im sorry to hear that. May the Lord bless you and keep you.
@@N81999 thank you for your prayers brother. I appreciate it! 🙏🏽
We are the same age and the same boat. I never married. It’s hard feeling like such an oddball all the time around everyone else at church being married with kids. So awkward. I know I don’t have the gift of celibacy though since I do desire sex and get sexually tempted. It seems the Bible has no middle ground, it’s either you have the gift of celibacy or you should be married since “self gratification” doesn’t seem to be in God’s plan for man. But, these days.. finding a potential spouse and/or a happy marriage seems easier said than done. Especially when we reach our late 40’s. Nothing is impossible with God but it’s not like our friends are trying to “hook us up” anymore. So it gets tougher meeting new people.
I respect and listen to any biblically based preacher who has the courage to address the perverse cultural intrusions into today's church! Most seem to be afraid to. So many have a different sense of fear than they should. They appear to be more concerned with filling pews via a watered down "Cheap grace" message, pleasing man, not The Creator.
Most singleness sermons I hear are useless “gift” speeches and I can’t stand them anymore. I like this pastor if for nothing else his admitting that singleness is an affliction and often a distraction. These are two things many in the average church will resist admitting to with a passion, maybe because they don’t want to get involved with single people. I don’t know. What I do know is now in my 50s and never married and no children singleness is ,was and always will be an affliction and a distraction .
May I ask if you tried online dating?
@@kristinccha No but maybe that’s for younger people. I guess I just don’t understand why the answer to such an important question with consequences so important to the church must be solved outside the church?
@@jwow19 I respect that. I am sorry . I know it must be so hard. I got married very young in college so I cannot say I fully understand, but I do sympathize.
@@kristinccha Thank you for your concern
@@kristinccha There's more wrong with it than I can put in this comment.
What churches have more marriageable women than marriageable men? Never seen one like that. I want to go to one.
Plenty of churches have more women, but marriageable is a question of sheer heresy on the one hand and snobbishness on the other
Every church I've ever seen.
@@Yesica1993 says the girl sounding username
I hope to road trip to your church someday and hearing you in person
Based brother in Christ
One thing that I think really needs to be added into this discussion is the various forces/influences causing over-inflated standards specifically among women.
Doug's not scared to call an affliction an affliction
I have never heard a Pastor ever try to tackle this monster. The church is in such a sad state. I can't help but think about Paul and his letters to the churches. Alot of his content was reminding them not to conform, not to look like and do things like the world does them. What is good parenting these days? More importantly where is Godly parenting In the church today? Thank you Lord for such Pastors as these. You know we are in dire need of them.
Group standards "A guy who is not good enough for the best in your group is not good enough for the least" 34:33
Huh, I always thought egalitarianism was wanting equality of treatment, and not necessarily equity (equality of outcome). Could be semantics. Either way, I totally agree that equity and the idea of social progress taking higher priority than scripture have been poisoning the Church.
Coming to the end of college and then hopefully marriage to a God-seeking man that I have been so far blessed to have in my life, I'm feeling the pressure creeping up in that Gen Z will need to take up the baton soon and pray that God brings the Church back to His word. We sure know that living in an ungodly society will get harder as we come closer to Christ's return, and we need all the help from God and support from/accountability for each other as we can.
You know it’s a good strong convicting sermon when the comment section is full of people’s feelings instead of exegesis of the Bible.
So swathes of unmarried, Christian women exist because men have not grown up? More men have observed the growing divorce rate statistics, especially the stats that show who initiates the divorce. I'd say that's a fairly reasonable, grown up thing to do when making the second most important decision for your life and when they see how divorce courts come down heavily on men. It's also easy for men to be dismissive of marriage when they see Christian couples getting divorced.
Pastor Doug is spot on with his take on how we've got here. It's so important not to get engulfed in sinful trends that are prominent in secular society so a muscular Christianity needs to be promoted to young men.
As usual, Doug delivered a beautiful sermon. His cultural analysis was spot on.
There is another video attached at the end after Doug prays! Was it just me or what?
Fellow pastor Toby Sumpter giving an exhortation before the communion service
Watch the Better Bachelor channel here on youtube if you want to know why we're in the crisis we are.
Great sermon. Thank you for speaking the truth.
ThIS nEUTeRiNg sERvIcE 🙌🙌🙌
Only halfway through but...ummm... who's gonna tell him that gentle and doormat aren't the same thing? Men being gentle is a good thing. It's a fruit of the Spirit.
Jesus was gentle when he was whipping people in the temple
Canon Press, thank you for this message! Also, what are the other 2 messages from this series? I'd really like to take them in context with this one and complete the study, please. THANKS!
I believe all marriages are arranged marriages. It's just a matter of who does the arranging and how. Arrangements need to be made, somewhat like a funeral.
I agree but for the best outcome it's better if we allow God to do the arrangement.
What’s worse, is that even when certain men find wives, the marriage is often a farce because the man has been conditioned to be a weakling.
I keep hearing the church is full of God-fearing single women, but where are they? Honest question.
I find it funny that my church tells me to get married. But how to find and court a good woman, or how to prepare to be the best husband I can be? They just tell me to wait on the Lord, as though I am to sit, slack-jawed, until my bride and I just stumble over each other.
hi, what is a PDG? 21:02 . thx
I'm divorced and unable to remarry. I have a choice: sin or live a life of self denial and suffering. I choose the latter as the former is not an option! Life will become more and more difficult as I get older, but so be it...
It's really rare to hear of someone else who understands that remarriage isn't a biblical option. Bless you for standing strong.
@@LittleMrsW thank you!
I was told this after my divorce (a divorce I didn't want). After much prayer, God brought to mind scripture that gave me peace of mind about remarriage. You don't have to remain alone, especially since God's word says it is not good that man should not be alone.
39:00
Ezekiel 16:1-8
Song of Solomon 8:8-10
1 Corinthians 7:36
עַלְמָה (almah)
1 Timothy 4:1-5
Being single is so painful for me. For over a year I was in intense depression about it and thought about death every day. It got so bad I could tell when I was about to get my period because I would think about death all day long on those days, from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. I was grateful if it happened on a workday so I could at least force myself to think about my tasks at work and it would allow me small breaks. It was a totally mentally and emotionally exhausting state to be in for over a year.
In the end the only thing that worked for me was to give up on the idea that I would ever find a husband. To accept I did something wrong and am now in essence expired goods is not an easy pill to swallow, but is reality. But giving up hope was the only thing that helped give my brain a rest from the constant stress and sadness. I almost felt like myself again. I’ve messed up and didn’t figure out the dating thing in time and now I have to live with that.
Loneliness is an absolutely crushing state of being and I felt like an empty shell person for a long time because of it. I still don’t care about my life, but I at least don’t crave the end of it. It’s a step up, I guess.
Have you considered that your job interferes with you being able to be found by someone
@@cosmictreason2242 How is she meant to support herself?
@@dumfriesspearhead7398 she isn’t
E🎉ee😢ohhhh BB ...I wonder how you are doing now in Nov of 2023??? My heart goes out to you
“In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.” C.S. Lewis.
I see far too much in the Church, that would make men, not just servants, but SERFS. It demands service, without reward. It demands responsibility without authority. It demands sacrifice, without gratitude.
That is not my idea of a good marriage.
Christ was a servant, but he is also LORD.
Moses served his people, but they were expected to obey and God punished them when they did not.
Truth.
Yep......45 is such a godly individual and loves marriage so much he has done it 4 times
3
@@dvforever I love how this doesn’t deny the original point but also is something of a “shut up”
That early point about preachers needing to be more than just a text exegete is very important. A culturally illiterate preacher will struggle to translate the message to their congregants. That's why I know I'm not really a preacher. I am much better at exegeting the text itself.
Exegesis of the aeon!
As an exclusively same sex attracted man, is it ok for me to marry a woman and not tell her about my attraction? I'm not at all attracted to women, but I really want to get married, and I think I might be able to manage it in the bedroom (sorry if that's too graphic, but that's a very serious concern for me).
If there is no sexual attraction to your spouse then disaster will soon follow. Don’t lie to her
And don’t set your self up for failure. If you want to get married the Bible way, then you have some serious things to sort out and pray about.
@@donbattos6249 But I'v prayed about this for almost 2 decades and nothing has changed about my attractions. I still have intense desires and romantic feelings about men. Sometimes I hate myself so much for having these gross sinful feelings. As I get on in life I feel this soul crushing loneliness come over me almost every day, with the fear I will grow old without a companion. Would it be ok if I found a woman who was ok with me experiencing these attractions?
I'm so sorry for your pain. I'm a celibate Christian as well and the double bind the church has built - that marriage and family is the only right way to fully honor God, and that it's the only way to belong and be loved, and then to tell gay people they can't have those things(or rather, can only have them with someone they are repulsed at the thought of having sex with), is wrong. It is the reason so many have killed themselves. It's also a horrendous lie. If you are same-sex attracted an committed to honoring God in celibacy, might I suggest joining a faith community that will support and walk closely with you? We all need community. We all need to belong to a family. The church is meant to be that family for us single people!
This seems like a pretty insane idea
Please read/listen to Christopher Yuan. He dealt with the same issues.
Jesus said... ' I am the Bread of Life'.... Feed me Lord.... The First miracle of feeding the 5000 is in Matthew, Marc, Luke and John........ . ' Bread... Manna'... Feed the Jews first.... The 4000 the Gentiles second... Man cannot live on bread alone but every Word that procédés forth from the mouth of God.... Bethlehem.. The place of Bread... Naomi leaves the ' place of Bread'.... She returns later.... Too much insight here..... I NEED YOU LORD JESUS.... You are LORD
I have mast cell. I tried to marry a christian man but I didn't think I was suppose too. He had a hard time with my mast cell. I can't marry because mast cell is not fair to a spouse.
I forgot what video you had when you describe the Bible as myths using Barnabas and the donkey as an example. The proof is all around. We live in an age when we have these kind of things on video.
From a biblical standpoint, when do a man and woman become husband and wife... at which point are they married? And what is the mechanism that makes them married?
It's a covenant declaration.
Samuel Davidson so are two people married when they declare a covenant between themselves with god as their witness? You don’t need a wedding in a traditional sense? You don’t need a pastor or the state?
Why do you put words in my mouth?
Samuel Davidson all three sentences in my last comment were interrogatories. I’m asking you for clarification.
Madelyn Grimm best response so far I’ve heard anyone give to this question. Thank you for sharing!!!
Sooooo, any of you girls out there wanna get married? Hahaha
Is marriage an absolute requirement for all Christian singles men and women? I don't think so! And why are so many Christian marriages failing today?
Paul flat out said it's better not to marry. That was way back then.
I can't imagine what he'd be saying now.
The reason Christian marriages fail so often is because of feminist indoctrination of women. And its just as rampant in the church as outside.
Most women feel they DESERVE the absolute BEST. This is drilled into their heads from birth. All done under the satanic self esteem movement which is nothing more than how to create a narcissist.
Women's promiscuity is another huge factor. Science is unquestionable now; the more partners a woman has, the more her ability to pair bond is destroyed.
Couple that with no fault divorce, where the woman wins cash and prizes breaking the covenant and it's no wonder they file 70% of divorces.
How wrong he is. He is talking about a symptom of the problem, not the problem. So, he said in one generation (1950's or so) women were marrying at 20, and men at 23. Now, 28-30 yrs old. In one generation masculinity did not take a dive to make the ages or marriage change that much! You have to ask yourself, what happen in 1950 until today 2022? Well, we know no-fault divorce happened. The pill happened. And a whole bunch of federal and state programs that empowered women and protected children. We had shows like leave it to beaver back in the 50-60's. As well as many other shows that had the man work outside of the home, and the mother/wife was a homemaker. Allowing women to divorce without showing cause changed divorce from a lawsuit to an administrative decision. And then custody was not about giving the children to the innocent party of the divorce, but who the court thought was a better parent. Even if the parent was the one who cheated on the marriage (adultery), and initiated the divorce. The world will always use descression to give the child who best looks like the world. Not the church. So, the Christian spouse has been given the short end of the stick in divorce and custody matters. The problem is women have been empowered and the church is doing nothing about it. The problem with masculity is the men who were in place of office bow-down to the women feminist groups like National Organization of Women (NOW) It was only AFTER women have been empowered that they developed a sense of entitlement. And with the entitlement, they started to look down on men. It always starts with men, as they are the ones that were leading this Nation. But the problem is not that men don't know how to be good husbands. The problem is men in office gave women power and then this power turned into entitlement. If the church would have stood up against unilateral, no-faut divorce this problem would not have been as bad as it is today.
Um the rise in average marrying age could be due to the rise in knowledge about the brain and how we aren’t fully adults until 25+.
🤣 yeah, because the average person takes this "knowledge" to heart...
I personally think it's more economic, people can't live off of one person's income as much as they used to be able to, so everyone, male and female, is spending their youth going to school and getting higher education just for a chance at a good job. By the time they graduate they're early to mid 20's, but then they have so much debt they might not want to settle down yet... its complicated and it sucks, I'm sure there must be a better way but it's hard to see
But they’re definitely mature enough to have sex out of marriage?
I can’t believe he said the Bible says to treat disabled people with charity. Pretty sure that’s the exact opposite of what they want
Charity is the highest form of love
I get what your saying but charity doesnt have to be belittling I think he was using it in the way of carry and considerate towards their disability I think that’s what he meant
What's wrong with you?
You DO realize ALL the time and expense of making all public places handicap accessible is part of charity?
@39:25 referencing Jepthah’s burning of his daughter to satisfy Yahweh?.....yeah, that seems appropriate. ;). It seems there’s at least two types of men, ones that are willing to kill their children and other’s when a voice in their head tells them to, and ones that tell that god to go “know” herself.
All it says is that Jephthah made a vow for sacrifice. After that point, it never says what God actually thought about it, in fact it doesn't refer to Him much at all. Personally I think it would have grieved God.
Aren’t masculinity and femininity two sides to the same coin of humanity? if i am to be transformed into a whole and complete human being (in other words, if I am to aspire toward being the imago Dei, if I am to be holy), shouldn’t both my masculinity and femininity be realized?
Not if you're a man it shouldn't. We don't get to reflect both those imago Dei. Only one. God does the assigning. We get to joyfully obey him.
Samuel Davidson to my knowledge there is only one imago Dei. We are reflected in Christ. So what do you mean “both those imago dei”? Are you saying that women can’t be like Christ because Christ is a man? Another way of asking, is Christ only masculine because he is male?
Samuel Davidson actually it gets pretty clear if you pay close attention to how genesis 1 and 2 are worded (just reread the passage in light of this conversation). In genesis 1, Adam is created in the image of god. And then in chapter 2, woman is taken out of man; Eve is created out of the material provided in Adam. So femininity is subsumed by masculinity. And femininity is elemental to masculinity. So ya... if you really want to aspire to be the imago dei, you have to completely realize your masculinity and femininity.
In a sense, Christ alone is the image of the invisible God, as Scripture teaches. In another sense, no two humans bear the same image of God. God was pleased to have himself revealed in a great multitude of human beings, each with a unique stamp on them. Men and women both bear image of God. Neither exhaustively.
When I reflect Christ, I'm not thereby assumed into the same being that Christ is. I'm a creature distinct from Christ, my Maker. So
I’ll stick with your 2 sides of the same coin metaphor and say, indeed, man is one side and female is the other side. That’s why they shall be joined together and become one flesh. Thus completing the picture. I’m not called to realize masculinity and femininity in my myself. But rather, they are objective standards, created by God, which when joined, become one flesh.
Numbers Chapter 5 verses 11 thru 31 tells you exactly how to abort a fetus
That’s NOT abortion. Good grief!
"Singleness is an affliction." No. Absolutely not. The reason it's so hard to be a single in the church is because we worship marriage, family, and sex. If the church were *really* a place where single people could belong - a family - if it didn't put marriage in the place of God - then singles would flourish in the church. Brothers and sisters, we would flourish. This ideology is horrifying.
May I humbly suggest that the choice is not between singleness and the "idol" of marriage. Work, either in or outside the home, is normative because as a means of providence, God is glorified by our fruitful labors. Likewise marriage is the norm because in the raising of children and the reflection of Christ and the Church, God is glorified. Much more, marriage is a foundry in which our character is shaped. Blessings to you.
@@mchristr God is glorified in both. It is against the historic and biblical wisdom of the church to elevate one over the other.
@@annaprimrose9168 God is glorified through His judgement, we shouldn't pursue what He prohibits..
@@thisgeneration2894 not sure how what you said has anything to do with the topic at hand. Are you saying God prohibits singleness? 1 Corinthians 7:25-35. Singleness and celibacy are gifts given by God for the good of the Church and should be treated as such.
@@mchristr Totally agree. Singleness is not a gift if you want to be married.
Time-stamps
4:40 - two worlds: what a preacher must do
5:10, 5:50 - 1 Chronicles 12:32 and understanding the times
6:07 - marriage and Genesis
Genesis 1:27-28
12:50 - why is this happening?
15:25, 15:40 - “monkey see, monkey do” Are we actually fighting against the world, or just straggling behind - eventually succumbing to worldly trends anyway?