When you realize the people who searched this have a reason, and realizing those people are just as hurt as you are. We're all here guys. We're all here.
one of the most realistic "love story" ever told. lots of people hate that movie, simply because the refuse to see the reality, they rather the expectations and its lovely nice ending.
The Line "What i was never sure of with you" pierces my heart and soul as I know how it feels to hear the person you mean the most say it to your face.
As hard as it is to take, she did him the biggest favor ever. He had completely lost his path as a man, the pain brought him back to his passion. From there he can become who he was actually meant to be.
I recognize myself a lot in Tom. Love at first sight is nonsense.. you fall in love with the idea of someone and then it's impossible to let go of that image and see the person for whom they really are, see that they are wrong for you. Very realistic movie indeed.
Josefine Bliss u know, this movie isnt saying love at first sight isnt true. What can be true for someone isnt true for someone else. Many ppl in this world do fall in love at first sight.
Actually, the expectation vs reality scene in the same movie is far more painful. At this point, he knew he had lost her. Listening to her saying that hurt, but he knew it within. But, in the other scene? He still had hopes. This is when the fall is worst.
"What I was never sure of with you" I don't know what hurts more. That or Jumping off a plane, while lighting yourself on fire and landing into a quality control room of a scissors factory.
I'm literally in love with the whole movie... The characters, the actors, the style, the clothing, the mood, the time management, the supporting cast... everything. A lot of parts of this film can bring me to tears no matter how many times i saw it. Especially in this part, when she told Tom : "What i was never sure of with you." baah, too much reality in a single movie.
+David Michael I think Tom was being kind of pushy in this scene, which i think was also perfectly normal after all he's been through. The scene was starting to wane away from peaceful closure to an argument, so Summer being harsh there was kind of necessary to keep the peace. Tom really needed to understand why she left him, so it was best that she just give it to him straight.
You never really recover from this. Even though you can't fault someone for not loving you, and finding happiness in someone else, it feels like fire. It feels like you're watching this perfect snow globe love story, everything so pretty and sparkling inside, and inside your chest is this unquenchable fire, there's nothing to help you put it out, and the flames lick the inside of your eyes until you have to walk away.
indeed. and when that person finds someone else...Well you just question everything about yourself and why you couldn't be that person to them. why you couldn't be the one that made them happy.
@@Michelleyouare I think you recover when you realize you're your own best friend & someone can only complement you, not complete you. Once you realize that you can recover fully! Stay well Ms. Clifton and happy 2023!
The line "I just woke up one day and I knew...what I was never sure of with you" was such a brilliantly original way of getting a character to tell someone you don't like them anymore. It's a far superior line than just saying "because I didn't love you anymore" because it's more specific, true, realistic, relatable and gut-wrenching. You can really feel Tom's pain when she says that line.
@@nancyjunkie I think I might not have been accurate enough. I guess what I was really trying to say is that the "...what I was never sure of with you" line means she was never sure if Tom was the one. .
This is the most realistic movie about love and relationships. It is a perfect movie and I can watch it many many times. I can totally feel with Tom. I had the exact same situation in my life. It is something that we will never be able to understand and it changes our life forever. We should never give up. Everything is connected. One day we will find our autumn.
Well if it's the most realistic then relationships are really doomed. I would say it's an extreme example of modern dating where men are tricked into some sick twisted plaything for soulless vindictive selfish vixens who spend their time on the cock carousel until they themselves become old and bitter when no one wants to be with them any more. If anything, this film should act as a warning for all men out there that unless the woman is literally chasing you, then run as fast as you can.
celticgibson True, this movie reinforces the points of MGTOW, Summer was starting to get older and the wall was getting closer to her, so the cock train that she passed through needed to stop to find a mangina who could provide her. I think in reality Tom was never a husband prospect, because he wasn’t making a lot of money and he didn’t have a bachelor degree to be a better provider. And afterwards she found a man that could do all this that Tom couldn’t, she really is a bitch because of the cock carrusell that she passed through before finding her husband, but nowadays this women are called independent and free. Tom was an idiot, he needed to pass through this to finally getting out of that ideal world that he was living in, because 99% of the western world women are like that.
@Michael P It's like everything he said just went over your fucking head. No, you don't have to be an incel to have your heart broken, but youre a total dipshit to have such a view of women and other men that completely ruins your chances of recovering from a heartbreak or finding someone.
It's been years since I first saw this movie and still "It's just wasn't me that you were right about" is the most destructive line I've ever heard in a movie. I mean "What I was never sure of with you" is a heavyweight knockout blow, but the line Summer says at the end is truly heartbreaking. At some point in the life of all of us, we've fallen in love so deeply that we shut out any possibility of being with someone else but that one person. As true and important as that line was for Tom, and really for all of us, it's hard to move on after a broken heart. Shit, Tom, even when he had already accepted the truth and had tried to move on with in his life, had to look away from Summer after hearing those words. Anyone agrees?
Summer's not a bitch, it's true that she should've handled some situations better but I can't really blame her for what's going on in this scene. They helped each other - thanks to him Summer realized that love and destiny aren't fairytales, and in return she showed him that it's not healthy to project an image of his perfect love onto a girl and that sometimes we make mistakes in choosing a partner, but it's alright. She's been honest with him since the beginning by saying she's not looking for a long-term relationship and he took it as a challenge instead of accepting the truth. He chose his own vision over her straightforward attitude and neither listened to her nor confessed his true feelings. Summer's words had to be said, otherwise he would never get better and move on. She's telling him that true love does exist and he surely deserves it just like anyone else, but she's simply not The One. That's how adults should behave.
Siray to me she’s basically doing what she should have done the moment Tom started catching feelings she should have sat him down and just ended things clean because Tom points out that she already had some guy in her life and here she is basically saying the guy did everything that Tyshawn did it but I just clicked with her better it is probably one of the most real things to ever be made into a movie because this kind of shit happens all the time to men and women predominately Men I honestly think summer is an asshole for kind a leading time on into thinking that something is there when it’s not but at the same time Tom projecting his idealistic view some love into summer is not good I don’t think they both helped One another rather Tom learned from this experience and summer just Kinda married a dude
lol yup... really sucks to have someone project shit onto you and have some kind of unrealistic expectations u have to live up to and if u dont then have fun feeling like ur not good enough cuz theyre gonna be supper disappointed and probably guilt trip u and play the victim and say u led them on and its just like ughhhh IM A HUMAN BEING TOO OK IM NOT SOME PERFECT FAIRYTALE
I think you have a pretty accurate look at this whole thing. It is easy to snipe at her for being bitch because she didnt go back realizing he was The One. If we think about it, in the real or that movie's world it was never going to end that way because the whole point wouldve been lost. The writers want you to see that neither were meant for one another. Maybe they didnt have their shit together. Maybe they were both not mentally or socioeconomically mature enough yet. Either way this is how a real life scenario would play out: it wasnt meant to be because the pieces just werent there. Tom needed this to happen to grow as a proper future partner to somebody and Summer was looking for something as welll, we just dont necessarily get the explanation for it so we paint a target on her. But you see we dont need an explanation...that isnt the point of the movie. Some things arent meant to happen given circumstances and regardless of what Summers was looking for. That being said it isnt like she didnt play a part in how things played out...i feel like people likely get salty about Summer from her actions not fully remaining congruent with her desire to not want something serious...which says to me she wasnt mature enough to know what she was doing had such profound implications for Tom...it is still Toms fault for projecting his ideal Summer on her but Ill have a hard time to not consider she fueled it. So I can see where those people's sentiment come from... But I still think at the end of the day it had to happen this way. Neither of them will be happy with whom they married/dated later on in life if they didnt. Keeping up their facade would be the true "leading him on", and him continuously "fantasizing her as the One" is not him loving who she really is. Both have to be on the same page. Takes two to tango. This was for the better...and through the emotional pain both (yes Im sure Summer also felt bad) experienced they became better versions of themselves.
Dated a girl named Winter, we were having fun and had great chemistry and all of a sudden she said we are just friends cause she’s aromantic, and later she started dating another guy and said she’s now sure about her feelings. Gosh this scene hits home too hard.
It's been years since this movie was released, and I can't tell you how much I've watched it over and over again. But recently, after a painful breakup with someone I thought was "the one" and having to go through the same as what Tom have, I could finally relate to the entire movie. It sucks because she kept claiming that she's not looking for anything serious and she was going with her own flow, but she led me on; with false hopes. Then one day she realised that she doesn't need/want this at all. That's where the line "What I was never sure of with you" truly hits home. Sometimes, things don't go the way you want it to. No matter how hard you try, if that person isn't the one for you, that person will never be the one for you. But through it all, you'll develop into becoming a better person for yourself and for your next. You'll be cautious in the things that you do (especially when it comes to dating). Our own 'Autumn' will come her way around when you least expect it.
This last scene is gut-wrenching, but it does reintroduce what I feel is the moral of this little tale. Tom believed/believes in The One -- he just didn't wait until he met the REAL one. Tom fixated on Summer. He tried to make her The One, his soulmate, even when all the evidence pointed to her being the wrong girl. She didn't want a serious relationship. However, his fixation with her made him do what a lot of guys do: pretend to be cool with "no strings attached," while inwardly hoping that somehow, some way she would change her mind and realize Tom was the right man for her... Except that he wasn't. Summer stayed because she did genuinely like Tom. I think after a while she liked him so much that she hoped one day she would just wake up and be in love. When she saw The Graduate, she just realized that was never going to happen. Tom's little sister hit the nail on the head. He wasn't remembering everything. He only wanted to remember what made Summer right for him, while completely ignoring all the warning signs that said otherwise. I also think what Autumn said at the end brings the whole story to a close. She was right in front of him, in his proximity, the whole time -- Tom just didn't look, because he was too invested in making Summer fit into that role of the soulmate. Having said that, I think Tom is better for having gone through this relationship. Just like Summer, Tom at the beginning probably would not have been ready to meet his soulmate. Summer's relationship with Tom changed her, and it changed him, as well. Moral of the Story (imo): everyone has to endure the sometimes backbreaking summer to truly understand and appreciate the autumn that follows.
As I get a Older I realized that this movie wasn’t about love. It was about a man’s depression and holding on to summer in order to not deal with his problems.
Bullshit..it was one sided love.. indeed its painful..but you have to move on and improve your life..someone will come over to your life sooner rather than later
Totally... their personality, goals, values align with yours but they’re at a different place in life or in a relationship already.. happened so many times to me as well. :/
or is that just a coping mechanism we think to move on because I have been having some bad luck and right person wrong turn fits but I've been thinking it just doesn't exist
I think Summer was aware of Tom's feelings for her that's why she said those things to him. They're both at fault, Tom should've been honest with his feelings and Summer should never give the man false hopes.
Agreed. I love this film, but kept getting mad at both the characters. I thought "Summer-stop flirting with Tom! You know he has feelings for you!" And "Tom- stop lying to Summer! You know you are in live with her!"
He gave himself false hope. She was straight forward with him from the beginning, she didn’t want a serious relationship. They were never actually dating. He decided to take these as a challenge instead of seeing things for how they are which ended up being the takeaway from this movie. That’s what is so great about this movie, it’s realistic. He ended up meeting someone he appeared to have more in common with and clicked with instantly, and was man enough to ask her out himself.
I like to imagine that this scene didn't actually happen in Tom's life. It's the perfect fantasy where you imagine yourself saying goodbye to your lover but it never actually happens like this. It's like a scenario he made in his head to be somewhat realistic with himself and cope with her being gone.
I can vividly remember that in one of the first darfts of the script that were written by Scott Neustadter, this scene was introduced with a preface that said something along the lines of ''Tom sits on his favorite park bench at Angel's Knoll. All of a sudden, he hears Summer's voice. He doesn't know if she's real this time and neither do we.'' In other words, it was also his intention with this scene. However, I don't know if these drafts can still be found on the internet.
The part when she says "what I was never was with you" hits me in the feels every time. And then when Tom turns and says "you know what sucks? Realizing that everything you believe is complete and utter BS". It's how I feel every time. Why am I always Tom?
I broke up with my two year boyfriend because of this very movie. I was Tom and he was summer. When i first saw this, i cried my eyes out for hours realizing all the mistakes i was making. He wasn’t the one, he showed me countless times he wasn’t ready and i ignored them. I wanted him desperately to choose me, i wanted to be the one to fix him. Although he loved me unlike summer, he never loved me enough to choose me. After i saw this movie, 2 days later i broke up with him. We never spoke to each other again and we still haven’t. I don’t know if he ever found his person, i haven’t found mine yet. But he’s out there somewhere ❤
Was lead on by my ex for a whole 2 months while not knowing that she was also talking to another guy. Just found out yesterday about this other guy and that they're currently dating...now I'm just waiting for my autumn
Rather than waiting for your Autumn live your life as if you'll never meet her. Before you know it she'll be right there by your side on the journey with you.
I dated a girl for a brief time, and it makes me relate so much to this movie. I thought we were perfect for each other and I realized I was ignoring all the red flags because of how much I liked her, when I was just someone fun for her to hang out. She said she wasn’t looking for a relationship and then got a boyfriend a month or two after we ended things. That shit really hurts, makes you feel like what’s wrong with me. But you get over it and realize they just weren’t the right one for you and you don’t need validation from someone else to be happy. The right person should compliment your life, not hinder it.
Just look at his face when he said "no".. brilliant acting on JGL's part, it shows how he was really dying inside when he was smiling.. to find out how she managed to see the words he said come true, by being with another man..
Look.. if a woman ever tells you "I'm not looking for anything serious right now", it means she's not looking for anything serious with YOU. Always. Every time. No exceptions. She will never in a million years say that to a man she's crazy in love with Lol No hate or disrespect towards women, it's just reality. It's not "mixed signals" or "mind games", she just doesn't like you. Take the hint and move the hell on. You'll save yourself a lot of pain and you'll both be better off.
Well I wonder why he wasn't right about her? I mean it's not as if she didn't give him incredibly obvious signals that they were a couple or anything. The whole shopping for furniture thing? Tom might be a naive guy but he's not stupid.
Nothing is more painful than being sure that he is the one you are looking for all the time.But he doesnt feel like that. He acts like he likes you and tells you sweet words and than leaves. All your dreams all your feelings are taken away from you.In the end you keep living but you are changed and it is not easy to be the same you again with the hopeful person you are that believes one day you will find love because you already find love but ... I just cant.I just cant.
I was in the exact same boat. I was in love with a man, who seemed to have feelings for me too. We were more than friends, but less than a couple. Then one day he just decides that it was never going to happen between us. He didn’t feel for me, what I felt for him. And that was one of the worst pains I had ever gone through. Especially seeing him find it in someone else. But after so many years, I found that love again and he loved me back just as affectionately. And now I’m happy as I have ever been. Now I’m grateful for that one man I had fallen in love with. Even though he didn’t love me back, I was grateful to have found that love for someone else. I was afraid I’d never fall in love. And I’m so happy for the memories we shared. I learned a lot. And I knew we weren’t the right people for each other. It just took time to realize that. I know this was years ago, but I really hope you have found happiness! ❤
@@buffyslayer8023 I forget about this comment and read it again just now. I did not find someone else to love but I learn that I could focus on loving myself. Maybe one day I could come across someone to love but if not I would still have me. Thanks for this lovely reply, I am glad you find love and happiness ❤️
I don't blame Summer for leaving Tom for another dude. I blame Summer for continually hooking up with Tom at the start while insisting she didn't want a relationship knowing Tom was bullshitting her when he kept saying he was okay with it. Most girls would have not even went that far and just distanced themself from the guy who they knew was into them from the start. Tom did share the blame for ignoring what she was saying but they both were at fault in a small way.
+lynseylinzlu except that summer wanted to try. she had feelings for tom, and she wanted to love him, but she wasnt sure that she would get there, she didnt want to make any promises
Trust me this is more common than you think...but at the end still I don't blame summer, Tom learn a valuable lesson and now have his shit together. Life is what you take out of it, Tom is now a better man :)
My girlfriend and I broke up an hour ago and I'm here now. The moment she says "what I was never sure of with you" it kills me. I hope we all find good people in our lives.
This just happened to me recently and I this movie just came popping up my mind every time I thought of her. Going to spend the weekend watching this movie. The feels are strong with this one.
everyone is ragging on summer, but I feel like that's just because this movie is told from Tom's perspective. we only see Tom's pain but its not like summer isn't phased by whats happening. I have always related to summer, even when going through unrequited love, I still felt closer to summer. there's a scene where summer tells Tom about a dream that ends with her realising she is alone, that scene makes me want to cry every time . Tom wasn't the one, I think when summer talks about "what I was never sure of with you" I think she means she still felt alone.
Summers was a thot, just portraying herself to be an angel to satisfy her conscience. She was lying to herself and using Tom as a toy, getting the benefits without any of the costs.
wow, this idea of yours is really helping me now recovering from a break up after almost 2 years. I loved him blindly, so this way I feel Tom's situation, but as I remember, I still had many many lonely moments when trying to talk to him. And now I'm realizing, somehow we are both perfect. Only not for each other. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, means a lot. I love these comment sections. :)
This scene should actually leave you with a positive note. There is always someone for you. It is not Summer's fault. Tom simply was not the one for her. She just simply doesnt feel the same way as Tom does. One may turn to her childhood and her parents early divorce, but it does not matter because at the end Tom was not for her; thus, she cannot be for Tom as well. But remember, there is always someone for us all. And we just gotta get up, put our misery with our last love behind, and keep looking. That's what Tom did with that girl waiting for an interview. Who knows, she could be the one for him, Autumn. You know.. love as complicated as it is, we will eventually find "the one." If you havent you have to keep looking. It may take months or even years. I dated numerous girls, and I just wasnt sure with all of them. I beginning to fear that I have a relationship problem. Then, there comes this woman of my life. The moment I saw her and got to know her better, I was just sure she was the one. I didnt even have to think. I just knew.
been watching this 10 years ago. haven't found "someone". I'm not actually complaining, tho. I'm kinda starting to accept the fact that some people are basically just suck at love life, or their genetic makeup is just not for love. It's true, it's true. It's science thing. There are some kind of type of face in human physiology that turns potential mate off, or their genetic code doesn't equipped with pheromones to attract others, so they're basically not suited for love.
"There is always someone for you" That's a lie, people die alone and unloved all the time, (sometimes deserved if that person is truly evil) so don't go saying that please.
Tom didn’t love her. It was a simple question her husband asked her. He wanted to know *her.* Tom liked her because she liked the things HE did. That inherently isn’t bad; point is Tom never got to know Summer as a person. When Summer did open up to him, Tom only cared that he was special to have heard it. It was always about him.
I think Tom loved the idea of her. The movie is through Tom's eyes, his perspective. We never get Summer's perspective. Also interesting fact. This scene, depending on who you want to believe, might not be really happening. The writer wanted it to happen in Tom's mind, while the director wanted it to be in the real world.
damn. ive seen a lot of analysis about this movie but that's the most spot on thing ive read. the smiths, his thoughts on the beatles, his architecture stuff. it's all him. he liked that she liked the same stuff he did, it validated his self worth.
You only ever see one scene where she expresses a different opinion about music than Tom has, when she says ringo is her favorite beatle, and he refuses to even believe her and is convinced it’s a joke. It’s very subtle but really spot on. And at the end when she cries after watching the graduate, it’s obvious the movie upset her and he does ask once if she’s alright but after that she wants to go home but he insists they get pancakes to make her feel better. And that’s when she dumps him lol. The only thing that really bothers me is that it’s never really addressed to him, nobody ever told him he has that problem so he’ll never fix it unless his new girlfriend points it out.
Another thing I really love about this movie is the scene you’re talking about where she opens up. The narrator says “the next six words changed everything” and you’re supposed to think that’s about the next line from summer, “I’ve never told anybody that before.” But you could also make the argument that the narrator was referring to Tom’s next line, “I guess I’m not just anybody.” He’s more proud of himself for the fact that he was able to break her shell than happy he understands her better. Saying that sentence was like planting a flag on top of a mountain you just climbed and then climbing back down before even looking at the view.
@The Anarchy I hope this not happens but boy your heart will be shattered one day, if you're not gonna continue this whole putting one person your reason of happiness Just sayn
“Because I wanted to.” This is exactly how it was for me and the guy I fell in love with. He didn’t want a relationship, he said that from the beginning. I was willing to let myself be hurt to be around him, cause you do stupid stuff like that when your in love right? Still he would treat me like a girlfriend. Holding me close at night, drawing me to him and make me sit on his lap, kissing my face softly and tenderly. And when asked, why did you do those things? The response: “I just wanted to.” No regard for how that would affect me, no further thought or reasoning. It will always be baffling and Tom and everyone else who experiences that will never truly understand. I don’t have the capacity to act the way Summer did with Tom, with any man I didn’t have strong feelings for.
This is a scene I’m practicing in my acting class. I am Tom and watching this really opened my eyes on how deep this scene really is. Just reading it on paper with no back story or context did nothing. Thanks for the video, truly has helped me
This scene has so much meaning to me, I have always identified myself with Summer and her view on love, and just recently I understood what she meant when she said to Tom that with her husband she became sure of what she wasn't with Tom, it isn't a matter of "How much someone loves you or wants to change you" at the end there is timing, and growth. Life can be so unpredictable and it's not because someone thinks you're right for them that you really should be
Joseph's acting makes this scene... Especially the timing of him looking away wanting to cry... Makes it so sad.... You really feel for him. And that color grading... And the bench... Man....
The best part is when you grow up get married and realize none of this really matters. If I could give younger people any relationship advice, it would be this. Don't obsess over anyone (they're not worth it) and don't string anyone along (Waste of time). Relationships are like light bulbs. Some are brighter than others. Some burn out quick and some last a looooooooong time. When one goes out, throw it in the trash and get another one. Don't get attached to a light bulb. Don't shed a tear, it's just a light bulb. Instead, focus on yourself and making your life the best it can be.
This movie conveys such a tragic concept. No matter how good we are at communicating with each other and conveying our true selves, there will always be a difference between how we perceive someone and who they really are, and who they really are isn't even a concrete thing; we are always changing. When we "fall in love" with people we fall in love with this idea that we've constructed of what that person is, and we do it pretty early on. We love that image of them, who they are and what they represent, and we can never get that image out of our head. It is one of the most tragic things in life, to come to terms with the fact that the person we love doesn't technically exist. That version we created and suffered over and wished to have in our lives was just an altered version of someone at a moment in time.
I love this movie. That moment in this particular scene (actually I think is just before) , where she puts his hand on his, and you can see his emotions are all over the place. Doesn't know whether to cry or be happy. That is how I feel every day. JGL does a wonderful job.
This movie is so...real. I can see why some people don't like it. It's hard to watch, it hits close to home. Most of us have been Tom, and a lot of us have also been Summer. When she says "what I was never sure of with you", my heart breaks for him.
As someone who has been in Summer's place before, I feel like it needs to be said since so many people relate to Tom and talk about how bad it feels to be rejected and have your perfect worldview rejected: It hurts just as much and feels just as shitty and humiliating to be "The One" someone else projects their expectations on. You feel like a failure for not doing the impossible and what's worse is that idealistic person could very well turn on you and get angry at you for something that isn't your fault, for something that is entirely their fault. Do not idealize your partners, they're not toys, they're people.
"I just woke up one day and I knew of what I wasn't sure of with you" listening this from a person who you are desperately in love with is such a gut wrenching pain. It would hurt more than inserting needles in your heart.
Watched the movie in my 20s and now I am in my late 30s, it suddenly clicked. In one of my recent conversation with my best friend, we discussed what love is and why is so complicated. I told her that when we fall in love, it feels like we fall in love with ourselves with the presence of that someone special and when he/she is gone we feel so lost and it hurts soooo bad. I have been there myself many times, feeling so devastated when been left by someone (or left someone), who I thought is in fact THE ONE. When my current boyfriend proposed a week ago, I knew it!!! what I was not sure with any of my exes. I had to get married in my 20s, left my family, friends, change jobs and live in three countries, get a divorce, go through break ups and getting stuck in the pandemic to meet HIM and stay with HIM. If I knew it earlier that this is part of the game, would never had wasted a single tear for any of the past losses. The lesson I leant is to work on yourself and trust the process!
She apologized to him with her hand gesture at the end, especially when she squeezed his hand and the camera captured that moment with grace. That’s why I like film so much.
Its December 2018 and I just finish watching this movie... felt very sick. But I love how realistic it is. Now Im gonna lie down for a bit and recover from the heart ache.
My friends were making fun of my poor success with women as of late. The joke was "describe (my) love life with a movie title." They used mostly random horror films and "Gone in 60 Seconds." I had to step in with a serious answer: 500 Days of Summer. They took offense to that because they saw it as a romantic movie until I explained my take on it. 500 Days of Summer is a warning letter to the hopeless romantics who have high standards for love and relationships. Tom is unhappy with himself and he believes he can fill his personal void with a perfect relationship and becomes infatuated with a girl who fits his ideals in a woman but does not share his values. And he is either too blinded by his infatuation to notice or chooses to ignore the red flags that she is losing interest in him and she is not right for her because he thinks she is the one that will complete him. And because he has such high expectations for a girl that was not meant for him he falls on his face and loses sight of who he really is. During the expectations vs reality Summer announces that he is empty and not living to his potential by telling everyone that he could be a great architect. And when he notices that she is engaged to someone else and he runs out we see LA during into a drawing that erases itself. And when he starts to move on we see him drawing a massive cityscape that surrounds him. He is regaining his true purpose in life, that of an architech and not someone who seeks fulfillment from another person. And of course after I gave my take on the movie they started bringing up a girl that I was in a sitution similar to Tom's in the movie.Yep. More fodder for jokes.
I guess there is a theory that this scene is all in Tom’s head that he’s fantasying what a talk with Summer woulda been like basically he’s giving himself closure in a scene. That’s just makes it more heartbreaking cuz of how realistic it is. A lot of us never get this final talk nd I think we just make up a scene in our head to get the closure nd move on.
Either way, it makes more sense as an imaginary scene. She being there waiting for him at the right day and time appears too convenient to be true. And she definitely wasn't waiting for him there everyday for him to show up lmao. I would've been more happy with an ending where he lands that job, instead of just getting another girl, that ending ruined it for me.
Thank god i never was in that kind of situation. But i can understand how hard it is for a man to go trought emotional hell like this only by watching this scene.
God, women know just what to say and how to say things in a way that just kills a man's soul. And it's not her fault; usually it's the truth. So you as the recipient can't do anything about it but internalize it and hopefully, eventually, grow another soul. Just went through the most painful breakup of my life (6 months after trying to maintain a "friendship" with her) and I don't know how to grow it back again this time.
This is a superb film, both sad and funny. 9.5 out of 10 IMHO. Great music and a very realistic, contemporary story with fine acting. When Summer takes Tom's hand in this scene...a very poignant moment. Final scene is priceless when Tom meets Autumn! Day #1, very clever.
"You never wanted to be anybody's girlfriend and now you're somebody's wife" "I just woke up one day and I knew. What I was never sure of with you." "It just wasn't me that you were right about." These lines, and the way they delivered them with their facial expressions was so impressive. Simple but that makes it so realistic, they didn't overdo it.Coz the words and the conversation was brutally honest and painful already. That's why I love this movie.The entirety of it. The characters were amazing.The story is so relatable and makes you reflect on what you already knew and never knew about love and life in general.
@@anwzdewan6969 Summer is saying that most of the things Tom believed is right, including them, Tom believed Summer is the one, but obviously not coz she married another man.
That's not realistic at all. It's statically dead wrong. Being married to somebody doesn't make him or her your "soulmate", 41% of first marriages end in bitter divorce, and even more ends in unhappiness. You can never build your relationship choice based on an unstable feeling, by definition, it's unsustainable. Passion dies out into friendship, so basing your choice on passion alone is matematically inadvisable.
Dreamy you nailed what I love about the movie. I can't see no two better actors playing these roles. This is acting masterclass in script writing and pure acting ability!
@@markarmage3776 I am not sure what you mean. Dreamy's comments are very realistic. Tom in the movie is right, because love is real and Summer thought it just an illusion. She realized it is possible to find someone that she loved, it just wasn't Tom. A simple truth that is timeless as the first humans! If you're honest, we've all been Summer & Tom at times in our lives.
My perspective on this movie has changed quite a bit since I’ve seen it over the years. I think this is actually a beautiful story, as unfortunate as it is. In the end, Tom and Summer grew into the people they were always meant to be. They just had to do so without each other.
this finally made it click for me. why it was never gonna work out. it’s not about if they liked you or not. no matter how badly you want someone to be your soulmate, no matter how perfect they are in your eyes, no matter how much you love them, if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. and no matter how hard you try, you can’t force someone to see in you what you see in them. watching this movie hurt so bad because i see myself in Tom so much. you obsess over this person, romanticize them so much, love them so much, you remember all the good and ignore all the bad. you live in a fairytale and they’re the center of it and they like you and you think that’s enough, you think you won. but you didn’t. and you know in your heart that you didn’t but your heart doesn’t want to accept that. you want this person no matter how many people or signs are telling you to stop, or telling you it’s not meant to be. but then finally one day it clicks like it did for me. when summer says, “it just happened…i just woke up one day and i knew…what i was never sure of with you” it hurts so much. it’s so hard to accept the fact that you’re not the one for them when you’ve spent so long trying to be. but when it finally clicks, you can finally let go. and open your heart and your mind to the idea of someone new. and it hurts. it’s hard to let them go, when it’s all you’ve envisioned for your future, when you believe in your heart that they’re the one for you and that it’s meant to be. but once you finally accept that none of that is real, you’re finally free. summer doesn’t last forever. autumn always comes eventually.
Very beautifully written Alexa, agree 100%. People are just amazing if you open your ears and close your mouth, you can learn something critical! So very good!
Well, This is LOVE.. Love and feelings are very complicated... If you see it from Tom's side you will definitely hate Summer but Summer is right if she was not sure about her feelings to Tom then they can't be together...
+Vanessa C tom was the one in the wrong here. from the start summer told him she didnt want anything serious, or to be labeled as a couple, and tom says thats fine. but hes not really fine with that. he projects all these fantasies and expectations on her, saying to himself shes the one, or that shes extraordinarily special, when really shes just a normal person. he figured that if he stayed around long enough, shell start to fall in love with him, just like he fell for her. he develops a mildly delusional obsession over summer, and he thinks shell give his life meaning, because he doesnt really care about much else going on in his own life (works at a job he doesnt like, for example). summer led him on a bit, ill admit that, but it really is toms fault for barking up the wrong tree, thats part of what the bench scene symbolizes. he believed in love all along, when summer didnt, but then when he gets closure with her he realizes that the love he felt for her (if it was really actually love and not just a need for being in a relationship to give his life meaning) wasnt mutual, and she never felt the same way.
I had a Summer 2 years ago. It really give me a realization about life and relationship, no matter how much you want it to work, it won't work out if only one is rowing the boat. Never really had a resentment over it, its just life. Now, doing my own thing is the priority, and waiting for my Autumn.
People are saying this is reality, suck it up. But, like... she was straight up cruel to him. She strung him along and didn't care., it truly is depressing
That’s why I don’t put expectations so high. If you noticed Tom was not even looking when Autumn crossed his path. She caught him off guard. No expectations.
500 Days of Summer Blue Valentine Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind and Closer Those are the movies that is about being in love but it's also not a love story, just completely bittersweet 😢
Unfortunately, this shit happened to me. Losing my fiancee past 3 mos ago. When i heard she said that to me " i just woke up one day and i knew, of what i wasn't sure of with you) feels like the same shit. Sooooo and very painfulllllll... But still im thankful for having her in my life and cherishing the wonderful moments being with her. Forgiving everything.
I remember hating Summer so much when I first watched this. But now having gone through a similar relationship I can see that both Summer and Tom were at fault.
![Cry - Cigarettes After Sex [ 500 days of Summer ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/hUElm7qvzeM/mqdefault.jpg)
The way he looks at her, the way he reacts to her...brilliant acting from JGL.
I was just thinking the same exact thing !
One of the best actors, that JGL man
That's not something you can just... do. Even with the best directors telling you what to do.
100 out of 100
ge is a genius
When you realize the people who searched this have a reason, and realizing those people are just as hurt as you are. We're all here guys. We're all here.
NahBruh this should be higher than it sits
Hahaha exactly
NahBruh nah i im just here cuz i was reading “you” and he talked about this movie
I think Tom perfectly describes her character in one question "You just do whatever you want, don't you?".
Hit hard ✊🏼
one of the most realistic "love story" ever told. lots of people hate that movie, simply because the refuse to see the reality, they rather the expectations and its lovely nice ending.
Same with La La Land.
Most people are still pissed about how that film ended.
@@SilentDanDisney really need to watch that one.
I stopped watching after 15 minutes because I could not stand Tom. He got on my nerves.
And "Paper Towns"...I love 'real" endings.@@SilentDanDisney
But "it's not a love story".
The Line "What i was never sure of with you" pierces my heart and soul as I know how it feels to hear the person you mean the most say it to your face.
So can you explain what it exactly means?
Meaning while she was dating him, she wasn't confident on taking it further (becoming his exclusive girlfriend/wife) with him.
As hard as it is to take, she did him the biggest favor ever. He had completely lost his path as a man, the pain brought him back to his passion. From there he can become who he was actually meant to be.
My ex told me straight to my face i dont love you anymore man what i felt but now im happy because it's true i ignored everything else but now I know
Shit that really hurts to the bones. Feel you bro.
I recognize myself a lot in Tom. Love at first sight is nonsense.. you fall in love with the idea of someone and then it's impossible to let go of that image and see the person for whom they really are, see that they are wrong for you. Very realistic movie indeed.
Josefine Bliss damn this hurts
Josefine Bliss u know, this movie isnt saying love at first sight isnt true. What can be true for someone isnt true for someone else. Many ppl in this world do fall in love at first sight.
I know that feeling.
Happens more often with men, but it sucks, doesn't it?
This is the kind of movie I love. A realistic one! Not fairy tale bs.
this is the most heartbreaking scene ever.
Especially when she said what I was unsure with you. Wow that hurt so bad
Amen
Truly
Actually, the expectation vs reality scene in the same movie is far more painful. At this point, he knew he had lost her. Listening to her saying that hurt, but he knew it within. But, in the other scene? He still had hopes. This is when the fall is worst.
Most definitely
"What I was never sure of with you"
I don't know what hurts more. That or Jumping off a plane, while lighting yourself on fire and landing into a quality control room of a scissors factory.
Amen to that I'm going with choice A hurting more
B... no wait A, definitely A :|
bro i remember watching that scene the first time out of the 20 or so times i've rewatched and just had this gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach
At least in the later you die, what she said resonates forever in the back of your mind as long as you live.
and "It just wasent me you were right about" right in the feels
I'm literally in love with the whole movie... The characters, the actors, the style, the clothing, the mood, the time management, the supporting cast... everything. A lot of parts of this film can bring me to tears no matter how many times i saw it. Especially in this part, when she told Tom : "What i was never sure of with you." baah, too much reality in a single movie.
You forgot the music!!!
"What I was never sure of with you"...brutal
yeah she was honest but she could've been more gentle about it
she's the kind of girl who do watever she wanna does or say.. but i like her thou cause shes genuine to her feelings..
+David Michael I think Tom was being kind of pushy in this scene, which i think was also perfectly normal after all he's been through. The scene was starting to wane away from peaceful closure to an argument, so Summer being harsh there was kind of necessary to keep the peace. Tom really needed to understand why she left him, so it was best that she just give it to him straight.
Well the truth hurts
David Michael yah that doesn't say people in real life. Ithink that is dramatic. But why people say thish real fuck people' brain
You never really recover from this. Even though you can't fault someone for not loving you, and finding happiness in someone else, it feels like fire. It feels like you're watching this perfect snow globe love story, everything so pretty and sparkling inside, and inside your chest is this unquenchable fire, there's nothing to help you put it out, and the flames lick the inside of your eyes until you have to walk away.
indeed. and when that person finds someone else...Well you just question everything about yourself and why you couldn't be that person to them. why you couldn't be the one that made them happy.
Very well said,exactly my thoughts....
Sarah Clifton this thread got me in the feels
hey, you wrote this comment 4 years ago, do you still feel the same about it?
@@Michelleyouare I think you recover when you realize you're your own best friend & someone can only complement you, not complete you. Once you realize that you can recover fully! Stay well Ms. Clifton and happy 2023!
The line "I just woke up one day and I knew...what I was never sure of with you" was such a brilliantly original way of getting a character to tell someone you don't like them anymore. It's a far superior line than just saying "because I didn't love you anymore" because it's more specific, true, realistic, relatable and gut-wrenching. You can really feel Tom's pain when she says that line.
wow interesting, to me it means : i never loved you
@@nancyjunkie I think I might not have been accurate enough. I guess what I was really trying to say is that the "...what I was never sure of with you" line means she was never sure if Tom was the one. .
@@jamielynch2453 ok i see i agree ! Always nice to see other people’s thoughts, i love this movie
It is. Same...it's my favourite Rom-Com
I don't think it means she never loved him. It's just she wasn't sure if he was the one.
"I just woke up one day and I knew....what I was never sure of with you"
the best way yet the most painful way to break a person.
That last line though, "it just wasn't me you were right about", wow, I think I'd prefer my hand in a blender instead
Ryan Maddox he let her stick her whole hand in his ass and made him lick the shit off her own hand. now that right there is fffffkd up
But fate doesn't choose shit! Only coincidence does.
Classy Alberto....learn those words in your ESL class?
but in a way it's not all too sad when you kinda realize what she's trying to say is that there's someone more meant for him than Summer
@@RareCandeh
This is the most realistic movie about love and relationships. It is a perfect movie and I can watch it many many times.
I can totally feel with Tom. I had the exact same situation in my life. It is something that we will never be able to understand and it changes our life forever. We should never give up. Everything is connected. One day we will find our autumn.
Well if it's the most realistic then relationships are really doomed. I would say it's an extreme example of modern dating where men are tricked into some sick twisted plaything for soulless vindictive selfish vixens who spend their time on the cock carousel until they themselves become old and bitter when no one wants to be with them any more. If anything, this film should act as a warning for all men out there that unless the woman is literally chasing you, then run as fast as you can.
celticgibson True, this movie reinforces the points of MGTOW, Summer was starting to get older and the wall was getting closer to her, so the cock train that she passed through needed to stop to find a mangina who could provide her. I think in reality Tom was never a husband prospect, because he wasn’t making a lot of money and he didn’t have a bachelor degree to be a better provider. And afterwards she found a man that could do all this that Tom couldn’t, she really is a bitch because of the cock carrusell that she passed through before finding her husband, but nowadays this women are called independent and free. Tom was an idiot, he needed to pass through this to finally getting out of that ideal world that he was living in, because 99% of the western world women are like that.
Happened to me also around 20 years ago.
@@celticgibson found a wild incel, boys
@Michael P It's like everything he said just went over your fucking head. No, you don't have to be an incel to have your heart broken, but youre a total dipshit to have such a view of women and other men that completely ruins your chances of recovering from a heartbreak or finding someone.
It's been years since I first saw this movie and still "It's just wasn't me that you were right about" is the most destructive line I've ever heard in a movie. I mean "What I was never sure of with you" is a heavyweight knockout blow, but the line Summer says at the end is truly heartbreaking. At some point in the life of all of us, we've fallen in love so deeply that we shut out any possibility of being with someone else but that one person. As true and important as that line was for Tom, and really for all of us, it's hard to move on after a broken heart. Shit, Tom, even when he had already accepted the truth and had tried to move on with in his life, had to look away from Summer after hearing those words. Anyone agrees?
Yea i agree with you on that last line. Really makes you question yourself a lot.
yup. i dont know how to recover from that. That shit brutal
When he looks away at 1:03 ..always hated this scene but also felt compelled to watch it through.
could totally feel that moment.. he just wanted to let it all out
He was deeply wounded by her words yet didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing his tears. I've been there.
2:28
I feel like shit after this scene.
Same, but also relieved. This scene is as real as it gets.
Ilustrado dude I felt so depressed after watching it I couldn't sleep lol
imagine how i'm feeling after being through something similar to this situation...
You can only go up from here.
😔
Summer's not a bitch, it's true that she should've handled some situations better but I can't really blame her for what's going on in this scene. They helped each other - thanks to him Summer realized that love and destiny aren't fairytales, and in return she showed him that it's not healthy to project an image of his perfect love onto a girl and that sometimes we make mistakes in choosing a partner, but it's alright. She's been honest with him since the beginning by saying she's not looking for a long-term relationship and he took it as a challenge instead of accepting the truth. He chose his own vision over her straightforward attitude and neither listened to her nor confessed his true feelings. Summer's words had to be said, otherwise he would never get better and move on. She's telling him that true love does exist and he surely deserves it just like anyone else, but she's simply not The One. That's how adults should behave.
Siray to me she’s basically doing what she should have done the moment Tom started catching feelings she should have sat him down and just ended things clean because Tom points out that she already had some guy in her life and here she is basically saying the guy did everything that Tyshawn did it but I just clicked with her better it is probably one of the most real things to ever be made into a movie because this kind of shit happens all the time to men and women predominately Men
I honestly think summer is an asshole for kind a leading time on into thinking that something is there when it’s not but at the same time Tom projecting his idealistic view some love into summer is not good
I don’t think they both helped One another rather Tom learned from this experience and summer just Kinda married a dude
She is a bitch...
No comments
lol yup... really sucks to have someone project shit onto you and have some kind of unrealistic expectations u have to live up to and if u dont then have fun feeling like ur not good enough cuz theyre gonna be supper disappointed and probably guilt trip u and play the victim and say u led them on and its just like ughhhh IM A HUMAN BEING TOO OK IM NOT SOME PERFECT FAIRYTALE
I think you have a pretty accurate look at this whole thing. It is easy to snipe at her for being bitch because she didnt go back realizing he was The One. If we think about it, in the real or that movie's world it was never going to end that way because the whole point wouldve been lost. The writers want you to see that neither were meant for one another. Maybe they didnt have their shit together. Maybe they were both not mentally or socioeconomically mature enough yet. Either way this is how a real life scenario would play out: it wasnt meant to be because the pieces just werent there. Tom needed this to happen to grow as a proper future partner to somebody and Summer was looking for something as welll, we just dont necessarily get the explanation for it so we paint a target on her. But you see we dont need an explanation...that isnt the point of the movie. Some things arent meant to happen given circumstances and regardless of what Summers was looking for.
That being said it isnt like she didnt play a part in how things played out...i feel like people likely get salty about Summer from her actions not fully remaining congruent with her desire to not want something serious...which says to me she wasnt mature enough to know what she was doing had such profound implications for Tom...it is still Toms fault for projecting his ideal Summer on her but Ill have a hard time to not consider she fueled it. So I can see where those people's sentiment come from...
But I still think at the end of the day it had to happen this way. Neither of them will be happy with whom they married/dated later on in life if they didnt. Keeping up their facade would be the true "leading him on", and him continuously "fantasizing her as the One" is not him loving who she really is. Both have to be on the same page. Takes two to tango. This was for the better...and through the emotional pain both (yes Im sure Summer also felt bad) experienced they became better versions of themselves.
Dated a girl named Winter, we were having fun and had great chemistry and all of a sudden she said we are just friends cause she’s aromantic, and later she started dating another guy and said she’s now sure about her feelings. Gosh this scene hits home too hard.
Sorry man
Lesson learned - avoid falling for girls named after seasons.
Canon event
Winter keeping you big as hell
@@pavankalyanm6292😂😂😂
It's been years since this movie was released, and I can't tell you how much I've watched it over and over again. But recently, after a painful breakup with someone I thought was "the one" and having to go through the same as what Tom have, I could finally relate to the entire movie. It sucks because she kept claiming that she's not looking for anything serious and she was going with her own flow, but she led me on; with false hopes. Then one day she realised that she doesn't need/want this at all. That's where the line "What I was never sure of with you" truly hits home. Sometimes, things don't go the way you want it to. No matter how hard you try, if that person isn't the one for you, that person will never be the one for you. But through it all, you'll develop into becoming a better person for yourself and for your next. You'll be cautious in the things that you do (especially when it comes to dating). Our own 'Autumn' will come her way around when you least expect it.
i hope you’re doing much better now, i know time heals all wounds. i just hit day 4 of grieving and its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel
I am at this phase right now. Hopefully you are doing better now and hopefully when I come back to this comment I will be in a much better place
I felt the same bullet hit my stomach, that Tom did.
Hahahahahaha 😂😂😂
This last scene is gut-wrenching, but it does reintroduce what I feel is the moral of this little tale.
Tom believed/believes in The One -- he just didn't wait until he met the REAL one.
Tom fixated on Summer. He tried to make her The One, his soulmate, even when all the evidence pointed to her being the wrong girl. She didn't want a serious relationship. However, his fixation with her made him do what a lot of guys do: pretend to be cool with "no strings attached," while inwardly hoping that somehow, some way she would change her mind and realize Tom was the right man for her... Except that he wasn't.
Summer stayed because she did genuinely like Tom. I think after a while she liked him so much that she hoped one day she would just wake up and be in love. When she saw The Graduate, she just realized that was never going to happen.
Tom's little sister hit the nail on the head. He wasn't remembering everything. He only wanted to remember what made Summer right for him, while completely ignoring all the warning signs that said otherwise.
I also think what Autumn said at the end brings the whole story to a close. She was right in front of him, in his proximity, the whole time -- Tom just didn't look, because he was too invested in making Summer fit into that role of the soulmate.
Having said that, I think Tom is better for having gone through this relationship. Just like Summer, Tom at the beginning probably would not have been ready to meet his soulmate. Summer's relationship with Tom changed her, and it changed him, as well.
Moral of the Story (imo): everyone has to endure the sometimes backbreaking summer to truly understand and appreciate the autumn that follows.
The Labyrinthine Jar very well said.
wonderful
I shed a tear reading this
You know it sir
That’s bs and you know it ! Don’t confuse ppl
As I get a Older I realized that this movie wasn’t about love. It was about a man’s depression and holding on to summer in order to not deal with his problems.
Finally someone with reason up in this comment section. Summer's not the villain here. Quite the opposite.
The movie starts with the narrator saying that it wasn’t a love story.
Retro Dreams I know, but the story telling is so good you get caught up in the “love”
Bullshit..it was one sided love.. indeed its painful..but you have to move on and improve your life..someone will come over to your life sooner rather than later
we always have the right person but in a wrong timing
livs edits I think it's more like the wrong person at the right time.
Robin said it timing is a bitch !
Totally... their personality, goals, values align with yours but they’re at a different place in life or in a relationship already.. happened so many times to me as well. :/
or is that just a coping mechanism
we think to move on because I have been having some bad luck and right person wrong turn fits but I've been thinking it just doesn't exist
The right person never comes at the wrong time
I think Summer was aware of Tom's feelings for her that's why she said those things to him. They're both at fault, Tom should've been honest with his feelings and Summer should never give the man false hopes.
Agreed. I love this film, but kept getting mad at both the characters. I thought "Summer-stop flirting with Tom! You know he has feelings for you!" And "Tom- stop lying to Summer! You know you are in live with her!"
You're right
@@margaretforsey7763 In live with her?
Taylor Davison In *love* with her. 😅
He gave himself false hope. She was straight forward with him from the beginning, she didn’t want a serious relationship. They were never actually dating. He decided to take these as a challenge instead of seeing things for how they are which ended up being the takeaway from this movie. That’s what is so great about this movie, it’s realistic. He ended up meeting someone he appeared to have more in common with and clicked with instantly, and was man enough to ask her out himself.
I like to imagine that this scene didn't actually happen in Tom's life.
It's the perfect fantasy where you imagine yourself saying goodbye to your lover but it never actually happens like this.
It's like a scenario he made in his head to be somewhat realistic with himself and cope with her being gone.
That was an act of mercy. Most relationships doesn't even have proper closure.
I can vividly remember that in one of the first darfts of the script that were written by Scott Neustadter, this scene was introduced with a preface that said something along the lines of ''Tom sits on his favorite park bench at Angel's Knoll. All of a sudden, he hears Summer's voice. He doesn't know if she's real this time and neither do we.'' In other words, it was also his intention with this scene. However, I don't know if these drafts can still be found on the internet.
This movie breaks my heart every time. The last scene is so beautiful
I wouldn't like to see what you think ugly is..
celticgibson lmao 😂
The part when she says "what I was never was with you" hits me in the feels every time. And then when Tom turns and says "you know what sucks? Realizing that everything you believe is complete and utter BS". It's how I feel every time. Why am I always Tom?
I broke up with my two year boyfriend because of this very movie. I was Tom and he was summer.
When i first saw this, i cried my eyes out for hours realizing all the mistakes i was making. He wasn’t the one, he showed me countless times he wasn’t ready and i ignored them. I wanted him desperately to choose me, i wanted to be the one to fix him.
Although he loved me unlike summer, he never loved me enough to choose me. After i saw this movie, 2 days later i broke up with him.
We never spoke to each other again and we still haven’t. I don’t know if he ever found his person, i haven’t found mine yet.
But he’s out there somewhere ❤
Was lead on by my ex for a whole 2 months while not knowing that she was also talking to another guy. Just found out yesterday about this other guy and that they're currently dating...now I'm just waiting for my autumn
That's what's up
Atta kid
Feel your pain....Im sorry it happened to you. You deserve better...not some "tourist confused chick"
you got off easy man.. for me it was 2 years and then all of a sudden i found out she was dating a dude she met a few months ago.
Rather than waiting for your Autumn live your life as if you'll never meet her. Before you know it she'll be right there by your side on the journey with you.
I hope we all find our Autumn
This video man. It's one of the best things on UA-cam. This movie.. this scene - shit hits you so fucking hard.
you can't force someone to love you no matter how much effort you put in
damn that hit me right in the dick
LMAO!
Its really not funny :P
Damn shit just started all over again for me. Im back with my ex.
+pedalpowered1 dude!! delete this video from your memory! quit hurting yourself lol
Truer words may have never before been spoken/typed
I dated a girl for a brief time, and it makes me relate so much to this movie. I thought we were perfect for each other and I realized I was ignoring all the red flags because of how much I liked her, when I was just someone fun for her to hang out. She said she wasn’t looking for a relationship and then got a boyfriend a month or two after we ended things. That shit really hurts, makes you feel like what’s wrong with me. But you get over it and realize they just weren’t the right one for you and you don’t need validation from someone else to be happy. The right person should compliment your life, not hinder it.
5 years later, still one of the saddest movie scenes ever.
this shit came out in like 2008
"and I think Tom was right"
"No..." that 'no' really sink my heart :'( I know how Tom feels
its kills you, just a simple "no".
Which would you rather suffer? A simple no on day one or being told no after 500?
Just look at his face when he said "no".. brilliant acting on JGL's part, it shows how he was really dying inside when he was smiling.. to find out how she managed to see the words he said come true, by being with another man..
celticgibson On day one you suffer for like two weeks, but on 500 you suffer for 10 years or more
Look.. if a woman ever tells you "I'm not looking for anything serious right now", it means she's not looking for anything serious with YOU. Always. Every time. No exceptions. She will never in a million years say that to a man she's crazy in love with Lol
No hate or disrespect towards women, it's just reality. It's not "mixed signals" or "mind games", she just doesn't like you. Take the hint and move the hell on.
You'll save yourself a lot of pain and you'll both be better off.
Dante Redgrave I am a woman and that is absolutely true.
Damn, i wish i read this earlier...
Sooooo true
Men too
Big facts G
"It just wasn't me that you were right about..."
Well I wonder why he wasn't right about her? I mean it's not as if she didn't give him incredibly obvious signals that they were a couple or anything. The whole shopping for furniture thing? Tom might be a naive guy but he's not stupid.
Nothing is more painful than being sure that he is the one you are looking for all the time.But he doesnt feel like that. He acts like he likes you and tells you sweet words and than leaves. All your dreams all your feelings are taken away from you.In the end you keep living but you are changed and it is not easy to be the same you again with the hopeful person you are that believes one day you will find love because you already find love but ... I just cant.I just cant.
😥... in the end, love just disappoints...
I was in the exact same boat. I was in love with a man, who seemed to have feelings for me too. We were more than friends, but less than a couple. Then one day he just decides that it was never going to happen between us. He didn’t feel for me, what I felt for him. And that was one of the worst pains I had ever gone through. Especially seeing him find it in someone else.
But after so many years, I found that love again and he loved me back just as affectionately. And now I’m happy as I have ever been.
Now I’m grateful for that one man I had fallen in love with. Even though he didn’t love me back, I was grateful to have found that love for someone else. I was afraid I’d never fall in love. And I’m so happy for the memories we shared. I learned a lot. And I knew we weren’t the right people for each other. It just took time to realize that.
I know this was years ago, but I really hope you have found happiness! ❤
@@buffyslayer8023 I forget about this comment and read it again just now. I did not find someone else to love but I learn that I could focus on loving myself. Maybe one day I could come across someone to love but if not I would still have me. Thanks for this lovely reply, I am glad you find love and happiness ❤️
you won't believe how much I cried at this part. I can relate to Tom and have dealt with crappy summers.
I hope you are happy now
I don't blame Summer for leaving Tom for another dude. I blame Summer for continually hooking up with Tom at the start while insisting she didn't want a relationship knowing Tom was bullshitting her when he kept saying he was okay with it. Most girls would have not even went that far and just distanced themself from the guy who they knew was into them from the start. Tom did share the blame for ignoring what she was saying but they both were at fault in a small way.
ah ok, so this is the explanation to my life so far.
+RB Hayek agreed. get so sick of hearing people call Summer a bitch etc. Its a romance that didnt work, blame on both sides.
+lynseylinzlu except that summer wanted to try. she had feelings for tom, and she wanted to love him, but she wasnt sure that she would get there, she didnt want to make any promises
Trust me this is more common than you think...but at the end still I don't blame summer, Tom learn a valuable lesson and now have his shit together. Life is what you take out of it, Tom is now a better man :)
Searching In Progress better man? Tbh in reality love isn't guaranteed. If anything it's more likely that he will become bitter and depressed.
My girlfriend and I broke up an hour ago and I'm here now. The moment she says "what I was never sure of with you" it kills me. I hope we all find good people in our lives.
i hope you feel better now!
This just happened to me recently and I this movie just came popping up my mind every time I thought of her. Going to spend the weekend watching this movie. The feels are strong with this one.
everyone is ragging on summer, but I feel like that's just because this movie is told from Tom's perspective. we only see Tom's pain but its not like summer isn't phased by whats happening. I have always related to summer, even when going through unrequited love, I still felt closer to summer. there's a scene where summer tells Tom about a dream that ends with her realising she is alone, that scene makes me want to cry every time . Tom wasn't the one, I think when summer talks about "what I was never sure of with you" I think she means she still felt alone.
agree ):
Summers was a thot, just portraying herself to be an angel to satisfy her conscience. She was lying to herself and using Tom as a toy, getting the benefits without any of the costs.
Mahad Javed You do know even the actor that plays Tom says the character is selfish? You’re projecting exactly what the movie points out.
wow, this idea of yours is really helping me now recovering from a break up after almost 2 years. I loved him blindly, so this way I feel Tom's situation, but as I remember, I still had many many lonely moments when trying to talk to him. And now I'm realizing, somehow we are both perfect. Only not for each other. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, means a lot. I love these comment sections. :)
True selfish..never think about someone else..it just about you..its your life
This scene should actually leave you with a positive note. There is always someone for you. It is not Summer's fault. Tom simply was not the one for her. She just simply doesnt feel the same way as Tom does. One may turn to her childhood and her parents early divorce, but it does not matter because at the end Tom was not for her; thus, she cannot be for Tom as well. But remember, there is always someone for us all. And we just gotta get up, put our misery with our last love behind, and keep looking. That's what Tom did with that girl waiting for an interview. Who knows, she could be the one for him, Autumn. You know.. love as complicated as it is, we will eventually find "the one." If you havent you have to keep looking. It may take months or even years. I dated numerous girls, and I just wasnt sure with all of them. I beginning to fear that I have a relationship problem. Then, there comes this woman of my life. The moment I saw her and got to know her better, I was just sure she was the one. I didnt even have to think. I just knew.
After 2 years..what happened with that girl? I'm curious
been watching this 10 years ago. haven't found "someone". I'm not actually complaining, tho.
I'm kinda starting to accept the fact that some people are basically just suck at love life, or their genetic makeup is just not for love.
It's true, it's true. It's science thing. There are some kind of type of face in human physiology that turns potential mate off, or their genetic code doesn't equipped with pheromones to attract others, so they're basically not suited for love.
@@KoeSeer Remember there is still life after death. As my religion tell so.
@@seriouslydude8078 nah i don't believe it.
"There is always someone for you" That's a lie, people die alone and unloved all the time, (sometimes deserved if that person is truly evil) so don't go saying that please.
Tom didn’t love her. It was a simple question her husband asked her. He wanted to know *her.* Tom liked her because she liked the things HE did. That inherently isn’t bad; point is Tom never got to know Summer as a person. When Summer did open up to him, Tom only cared that he was special to have heard it. It was always about him.
I think Tom loved the idea of her. The movie is through Tom's eyes, his perspective. We never get Summer's perspective.
Also interesting fact. This scene, depending on who you want to believe, might not be really happening. The writer wanted it to happen in Tom's mind, while the director wanted it to be in the real world.
damn. ive seen a lot of analysis about this movie but that's the most spot on thing ive read. the smiths, his thoughts on the beatles, his architecture stuff. it's all him. he liked that she liked the same stuff he did, it validated his self worth.
You only ever see one scene where she expresses a different opinion about music than Tom has, when she says ringo is her favorite beatle, and he refuses to even believe her and is convinced it’s a joke. It’s very subtle but really spot on. And at the end when she cries after watching the graduate, it’s obvious the movie upset her and he does ask once if she’s alright but after that she wants to go home but he insists they get pancakes to make her feel better. And that’s when she dumps him lol. The only thing that really bothers me is that it’s never really addressed to him, nobody ever told him he has that problem so he’ll never fix it unless his new girlfriend points it out.
Another thing I really love about this movie is the scene you’re talking about where she opens up. The narrator says “the next six words changed everything” and you’re supposed to think that’s about the next line from summer, “I’ve never told anybody that before.” But you could also make the argument that the narrator was referring to Tom’s next line, “I guess I’m not just anybody.” He’s more proud of himself for the fact that he was able to break her shell than happy he understands her better. Saying that sentence was like planting a flag on top of a mountain you just climbed and then climbing back down before even looking at the view.
this scene is an absolute gem...hats off to both of these young actors...bravo
If all your happiness depends on a single person, maybe that relationship isn’t that healthy.
@The Anarchy I hope this not happens but boy your heart will be shattered one day, if you're not gonna continue this whole putting one person your reason of happiness
Just sayn
you're right..
“Because I wanted to.” This is exactly how it was for me and the guy I fell in love with. He didn’t want a relationship, he said that from the beginning. I was willing to let myself be hurt to be around him, cause you do stupid stuff like that when your in love right?
Still he would treat me like a girlfriend. Holding me close at night, drawing me to him and make me sit on his lap, kissing my face softly and tenderly. And when asked, why did you do those things? The response: “I just wanted to.” No regard for how that would affect me, no further thought or reasoning. It will always be baffling and Tom and everyone else who experiences that will never truly understand. I don’t have the capacity to act the way Summer did with Tom, with any man I didn’t have strong feelings for.
"what I was never sure of with you." - bullet.
"it just wasn't me you were right about." - bandage.
"What I was never sure of with you"
Feels bad man
This is a scene that I completely relate to. Absolutely crushed me.
"What I was never sure of with you" you never really understand the depth of this brutal line unless and until you experience something similar 🙂
This is a scene I’m practicing in my acting class. I am Tom and watching this really opened my eyes on how deep this scene really is. Just reading it on paper with no back story or context did nothing. Thanks for the video, truly has helped me
This scene has so much meaning to me, I have always identified myself with Summer and her view on love, and just recently I understood what she meant when she said to Tom that with her husband she became sure of what she wasn't with Tom, it isn't a matter of "How much someone loves you or wants to change you" at the end there is timing, and growth. Life can be so unpredictable and it's not because someone thinks you're right for them that you really should be
Joseph's acting makes this scene... Especially the timing of him looking away wanting to cry... Makes it so sad.... You really feel for him. And that color grading... And the bench... Man....
The best part is when you grow up get married and realize none of this really matters.
If I could give younger people any relationship advice, it would be this. Don't obsess over anyone (they're not worth it) and don't string anyone along (Waste of time). Relationships are like light bulbs. Some are brighter than others. Some burn out quick and some last a looooooooong time. When one goes out, throw it in the trash and get another one. Don't get attached to a light bulb. Don't shed a tear, it's just a light bulb. Instead, focus on yourself and making your life the best it can be.
Thank you
This is the best advice
@
similar
This movie conveys such a tragic concept. No matter how good we are at communicating with each other and conveying our true selves, there will always be a difference between how we perceive someone and who they really are, and who they really are isn't even a concrete thing; we are always changing. When we "fall in love" with people we fall in love with this idea that we've constructed of what that person is, and we do it pretty early on. We love that image of them, who they are and what they represent, and we can never get that image out of our head. It is one of the most tragic things in life, to come to terms with the fact that the person we love doesn't technically exist. That version we created and suffered over and wished to have in our lives was just an altered version of someone at a moment in time.
- So, why did you dance with me?
- Because I wanted to..
- You always do what you want, don't you?
Each and every single one of them, for years now...
same here, ex lead me on, few weeks later she found her true love.
Bullshit..there is no true love...its just a fairytale story
This hurts a lot, I understand both of them so much. Perfectly written and performed.
I love this movie. That moment in this particular scene (actually I think is just before) , where she puts his hand on his, and you can see his emotions are all over the place. Doesn't know whether to cry or be happy. That is how I feel every day. JGL does a wonderful job.
This movie is so...real. I can see why some people don't like it. It's hard to watch, it hits close to home. Most of us have been Tom, and a lot of us have also been Summer. When she says "what I was never sure of with you", my heart breaks for him.
As someone who has been in Summer's place before, I feel like it needs to be said since so many people relate to Tom and talk about how bad it feels to be rejected and have your perfect worldview rejected:
It hurts just as much and feels just as shitty and humiliating to be "The One" someone else projects their expectations on. You feel like a failure for not doing the impossible and what's worse is that idealistic person could very well turn on you and get angry at you for something that isn't your fault, for something that is entirely their fault.
Do not idealize your partners, they're not toys, they're people.
That's is why u shouldn't date confuse people. They will just destroy your life emotionally
Exactly.. everything will be messed up
Oh man, this has never been truer. Thanks for opening my eyes.
Finally someone understood the side of Tom🙃
"You never wanted to anybody's girlfriend and now you are somebody's wife." That line really breaks my heart. It's so heartbreaking, why summer?
"I just woke up one day and I knew of what I wasn't sure of with you" listening this from a person who you are desperately in love with is such a gut wrenching pain.
It would hurt more than inserting needles in your heart.
This is so beautiful and honest. Both did an excellent job In this movie. This scene will be in my heart for a long time
"What I never was sure of with you" is perhaps the coldest line in history. You couldn't say something like that to me.
Watched the movie in my 20s and now I am in my late 30s, it suddenly clicked. In one of my recent conversation with my best friend, we discussed what love is and why is so complicated. I told her that when we fall in love, it feels like we fall in love with ourselves with the presence of that someone special and when he/she is gone we feel so lost and it hurts soooo bad. I have been there myself many times, feeling so devastated when been left by someone (or left someone), who I thought is in fact THE ONE. When my current boyfriend proposed a week ago, I knew it!!! what I was not sure with any of my exes. I had to get married in my 20s, left my family, friends, change jobs and live in three countries, get a divorce, go through break ups and getting stuck in the pandemic to meet HIM and stay with HIM. If I knew it earlier that this is part of the game, would never had wasted a single tear for any of the past losses. The lesson I leant is to work on yourself and trust the process!
Used to watch this when I was younger with my mom and never understood the movie... 15 years later, experiencing it for myself
She apologized to him with her hand gesture at the end, especially when she squeezed his hand and the camera captured that moment with grace. That’s why I like film so much.
Its December 2018 and I just finish watching this movie... felt very sick. But I love how realistic it is. Now Im gonna lie down for a bit and recover from the heart ache.
Beautiful movie! One of the best I've ever seen in my entire life.
My friends were making fun of my poor success with women as of late. The joke was "describe (my) love life with a movie title." They used mostly random horror films and "Gone in 60 Seconds." I had to step in with a serious answer: 500 Days of Summer. They took offense to that because they saw it as a romantic movie until I explained my take on it.
500 Days of Summer is a warning letter to the hopeless romantics who have high standards for love and relationships. Tom is unhappy with himself and he believes he can fill his personal void with a perfect relationship and becomes infatuated with a girl who fits his ideals in a woman but does not share his values. And he is either too blinded by his infatuation to notice or chooses to ignore the red flags that she is losing interest in him and she is not right for her because he thinks she is the one that will complete him. And because he has such high expectations for a girl that was not meant for him he falls on his face and loses sight of who he really is. During the expectations vs reality Summer announces that he is empty and not living to his potential by telling everyone that he could be a great architect. And when he notices that she is engaged to someone else and he runs out we see LA during into a drawing that erases itself. And when he starts to move on we see him drawing a massive cityscape that surrounds him. He is regaining his true purpose in life, that of an architech and not someone who seeks fulfillment from another person.
And of course after I gave my take on the movie they started bringing up a girl that I was in a sitution similar to Tom's in the movie.Yep. More fodder for jokes.
Alberto Romero me alegró escuchar tu historia Alberto, gracias por compartirla.
I guess there is a theory that this scene is all in Tom’s head that he’s fantasying what a talk with Summer woulda been like basically he’s giving himself closure in a scene. That’s just makes it more heartbreaking cuz of how realistic it is. A lot of us never get this final talk nd I think we just make up a scene in our head to get the closure nd move on.
Fuuuck... 😢💔
That hurt me to the core. I made up a scene in my head trying to get closure.
@@clifbar8628 Hang in there bro.. you’ll be ok it’s just gonna take time
Either way, it makes more sense as an imaginary scene. She being there waiting for him at the right day and time appears too convenient to be true. And she definitely wasn't waiting for him there everyday for him to show up lmao.
I would've been more happy with an ending where he lands that job, instead of just getting another girl, that ending ruined it for me.
Move on from within. No need to seek validation from outside forces.
Thank god i never was in that kind of situation. But i can understand how hard it is for a man to go trought emotional hell like this only by watching this scene.
Been through something like this recently. It changes you
I'm not the same as i was before
This movie opened my eyes. I woke up the next morning a totally different person.
God, women know just what to say and how to say things in a way that just kills a man's soul. And it's not her fault; usually it's the truth. So you as the recipient can't do anything about it but internalize it and hopefully, eventually, grow another soul. Just went through the most painful breakup of my life (6 months after trying to maintain a "friendship" with her) and I don't know how to grow it back again this time.
I completely understand you. It's sooo difficult trying to maintain a friendship and putting on a brave face.
help, I can't grow my soul back, I'm dead inside and I hate everything.
You gotta leave it behind. All that agony and hanging on was just poison to my psyche. I'm single as FUCK 😣😣😣 but happier now.
kabob21
+TheFutureKing 5 YEARS AGO buddy........
This is a superb film, both sad and funny. 9.5 out of 10 IMHO. Great music and a very realistic, contemporary story with fine acting. When Summer takes Tom's hand in this scene...a very poignant moment. Final scene is priceless when Tom meets Autumn! Day #1, very clever.
"What I was never sure of with you", it always brings tears to my eyes.
"You never wanted to be anybody's girlfriend and now you're somebody's wife"
"I just woke up one day and I knew. What I was never sure of with you."
"It just wasn't me that you were right about."
These lines, and the way they delivered them with their facial expressions was so impressive. Simple but that makes it so realistic, they didn't overdo it.Coz the words and the conversation was brutally honest and painful already. That's why I love this movie.The entirety of it. The characters were amazing.The story is so relatable and makes you reflect on what you already knew and never knew about love and life in general.
What did she particularly mean by "It just wasn't me you were right about"?
@@anwzdewan6969 Summer is saying that most of the things Tom believed is right, including them, Tom believed Summer is the one, but obviously not coz she married another man.
That's not realistic at all. It's statically dead wrong.
Being married to somebody doesn't make him or her your "soulmate", 41% of first marriages end in bitter divorce, and even more ends in unhappiness. You can never build your relationship choice based on an unstable feeling, by definition, it's unsustainable.
Passion dies out into friendship, so basing your choice on passion alone is matematically inadvisable.
Dreamy you nailed what I love about the movie. I can't see no two better actors playing these roles. This is acting masterclass in script writing and pure acting ability!
@@markarmage3776 I am not sure what you mean. Dreamy's comments are very realistic. Tom in the movie is right, because love is real and Summer thought it just an illusion. She realized it is possible to find someone that she loved, it just wasn't Tom. A simple truth that is timeless as the first humans! If you're honest, we've all been Summer & Tom at times in our lives.
My perspective on this movie has changed quite a bit since I’ve seen it over the years. I think this is actually a beautiful story, as unfortunate as it is. In the end, Tom and Summer grew into the people they were always meant to be. They just had to do so without each other.
this finally made it click for me. why it was never gonna work out. it’s not about if they liked you or not. no matter how badly you want someone to be your soulmate, no matter how perfect they are in your eyes, no matter how much you love them, if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. and no matter how hard you try, you can’t force someone to see in you what you see in them.
watching this movie hurt so bad because i see myself in Tom so much. you obsess over this person, romanticize them so much, love them so much, you remember all the good and ignore all the bad. you live in a fairytale and they’re the center of it and they like you and you think that’s enough, you think you won. but you didn’t. and you know in your heart that you didn’t but your heart doesn’t want to accept that. you want this person no matter how many people or signs are telling you to stop, or telling you it’s not meant to be. but then finally one day it clicks like it did for me.
when summer says, “it just happened…i just woke up one day and i knew…what i was never sure of with you” it hurts so much. it’s so hard to accept the fact that you’re not the one for them when you’ve spent so long trying to be.
but when it finally clicks, you can finally let go. and open your heart and your mind to the idea of someone new. and it hurts. it’s hard to let them go, when it’s all you’ve envisioned for your future, when you believe in your heart that they’re the one for you and that it’s meant to be. but once you finally accept that none of that is real, you’re finally free. summer doesn’t last forever. autumn always comes eventually.
Very beautifully written Alexa, agree 100%. People are just amazing if you open your ears and close your mouth, you can learn something critical! So very good!
The way he turns away when she says “what I was never sure of with you”
My favorite scene in this beautiful film.
So you think one person dropping a bomb of insignificance on another is somehow beautiful? Really?
It's beautiful in how true it is. It fucking sucks but this is a part of life.
Every time I feel deppresed about the end of this movie, I watch Don Jon imagining that it's the same character in both movies
Well, This is LOVE.. Love and feelings are very complicated... If you see it from Tom's side you will definitely hate Summer but Summer is right if she was not sure about her feelings to Tom then they can't be together...
Summer didn't love tom..simple
Woman doesn't need love.. they just need to fullfil their needs .thats it
This movie just helped me finally get over them
I remember when I used to think summer was a bitch. Simpler time.
Razy (AKA Chocolate-Thunder) why not anymore? please explain
+Vanessa C tom was the one in the wrong here.
from the start summer told him she didnt want anything serious, or to be labeled as a couple, and tom says thats fine. but hes not really fine with that. he projects all these fantasies and expectations on her, saying to himself shes the one, or that shes extraordinarily special, when really shes just a normal person. he figured that if he stayed around long enough, shell start to fall in love with him, just like he fell for her. he develops a mildly delusional obsession over summer, and he thinks shell give his life meaning, because he doesnt really care about much else going on in his own life (works at a job he doesnt like, for example).
summer led him on a bit, ill admit that, but it really is toms fault for barking up the wrong tree, thats part of what the bench scene symbolizes. he believed in love all along, when summer didnt, but then when he gets closure with her he realizes that the love he felt for her (if it was really actually love and not just a need for being in a relationship to give his life meaning) wasnt mutual, and she never felt the same way.
Razy (AKA Chocolate-Thunder) true, i guess I've experienced being Tom before, expectations and delusions, and it hurts...
Razy_Mr. Leftward Sloping Penis you know well she isn't now, I suppose.
I had a Summer 2 years ago. It really give me a realization about life and relationship, no matter how much you want it to work, it won't work out if only one is rowing the boat. Never really had a resentment over it, its just life. Now, doing my own thing is the priority, and waiting for my Autumn.
People are saying this is reality, suck it up. But, like... she was straight up cruel to him. She strung him along and didn't care., it truly is depressing
“It just wasn’t me you were right about”….
that hit home 😢
You just do what you want don't you?
christopherxiong Best meanigfull line by him......
That’s why I don’t put expectations so high. If you noticed Tom was not even looking when Autumn crossed his path. She caught him off guard.
No expectations.
"What I was never sure of with you" that line, it hits!
500 Days of Summer
Blue Valentine
Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind and Closer
Those are the movies that is about being in love but it's also not a love story, just completely bittersweet 😢
Revolutionary Road too
Once is a good flick too
one of the most crushing scenes ever
damn this scene.. Man, these onions is wild.
Unfortunately, this shit happened to me. Losing my fiancee past 3 mos ago. When i heard she said that to me " i just woke up one day and i knew, of what i wasn't sure of with you) feels like the same shit. Sooooo and very painfulllllll...
But still im thankful for having her in my life and cherishing the wonderful moments being with her. Forgiving everything.
I remember hating Summer so much when I first watched this. But now having gone through a similar relationship I can see that both Summer and Tom were at fault.