Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - Nostalgia Critic
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- Опубліковано 13 лис 2018
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It made a ton of money, but Nostalgia Critic has a lot to say about possibly the worst Jurassic Park there is. See why he sees it as such a dino turd. Let's check out Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom.
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Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a 2018 American science fiction adventure film and the sequel to Jurassic World (2015). Directed by J. A. Bayona, it is the fifth installment of the Jurassic Park film series, as well as the second installment of a planned Jurassic World trilogy.
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With Christmas around the corner, what movies would you like reviewed?
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The Nuttiest Nutcracker! Buster and Chauncey's silent night, actually those are the only two that I really, really want at the moment I'll think of another one hopefully soon oh wait, Elf, I'm not sure that's aging well, and Home alone 5 that was filmed where I live
Con Air? Robocop? Plan 9 from Outer Space? The Stuff? Miami Connection?
One more suggestion,
Josh and the promised land
Channel Awesome Bionicle 1-3
Rivew tmnt next mutation or Grimmlens 2 or both
Well Doug always talks about Arthur Christmas so why not that
"Blue's still out there. You're just gonna let her die?"
"Well, yeah."
*credits*
Only intelligent line in the entire movie.
Honestly that would have been a good ending
Roll credits
Ding!?
No one said Fallen Kingdom 🤔
@@randalgraves6979 wrong channel pal
Just thought it worth mentioning that the shooting star isn't pointless; it was a nod to Steven Spielberg. In Jaws they managed to accidentally capture a shooting star during one of the finalized shots and Spielberg has put a shooting star in movies since then.
Weird
Astro Wolvez but cool!
Not an ounce of that sounds necessary so...pointless.
@@thedopdeity it's a quirk, might be pointless but it's cool none the less
@@wellhello5098 why? You already have all the cool stuff in the movie though.
They got the character motivations switched as well. Claire, whose only exposure to dinosaurs is almost being eaten by them, should want to see them dead. Owen, who has spent his career proving dinosaurs are capable of being trained and friendly like dogs, should want to see them live. That is just one of many confusing decisions made whilst making this movie.
The little girl is the real supervillain , I ready for the sequel where she manically laughs while watching girls scouts being eaten and petting her kitty inside the thunder dome
Thunder dome, then we will see goldberg vs blue for who's the real dinosaur
Petting her kitty?
Please tell me you _do_ mean a feline!
Replace the kitty with a velociraptor and I can see that happening
they never bring up that point in the sequel
Ooo, how about instead of a kitty, it’s a Compsognathus.
Shes a clone in a Jurassic Park universe - doesn't that mean she's partly a frog ?
Lockwood's daughter's DNA wasn't millions of years old, so no need to fill in the nonexistent genetic gaps with anything else
GojiraGuy 1954 I’m pretty sure they were joking.
Well you’re 50% a banana, so what’s the difference?
Nova JT oh lord I’m getting Splice flashbacks🤢🤢🤢
SHE CAN CAMOUFLAGE
I still have no idea how Claire isn't in jail or buried in civil law suits from the families of everyone who died on her watch... like her secretary who was about to get married and died trying to save Claire's nephews that Claire didn't even think to ask about... real likable character there...
Fordo007 Secretary? You mean Zara?
You mean the one who really didn't watch the kids? I didn't even know she was going to get married.
Well they cartoonishly explained it away saying they Paid a record 1 or 100 billion in total (Forget) in Lawsuit settlements. Please a company would go bankrupt with how many people would be suing them. Let alone they played the government as completely devoid of intelligence or any competence. Just because they not messing with the island doesn't mean they would let dumb fucks keep going or touch it themselves.
Don't over think this half ass movie more than the people who made it lol
@EbberDeeMills you know vic hoskins was the leader of jurassic world private security force soooo i don't know maybe the whole thing was sabotaged by an idiot that was in the lead of their security force and a technically on the run genetic scientist that were planing on making and selling genetically modified dinosaurs that caused everything to end up the way they were.
vic wasn't completely so secret about his whole plan of making weapons out of raptors. so Claire wasn't or the actual head of the company wasn't part of the blame though though the company does get closed down now.
14:34 - 15:18 Doug's hatred for this side character gives me life.
As a Jurassic Park Fan... Yes.
Same here.
Well that's nothing. Wait until you see Detective Pikachu. No really, Justice Smith actually does a much better job in Detective Pikachu.
Glad I'm not the only one who wanted to see Justice Smith get eaten.
That character was annoying AF!
That girl that freed the dinosuars moment has the same energy of the end of Mulan 2:" hey. Shitloads of people are gonna die, but fuck you, becuas love."
Mazie: I had to. They're alive. Like me.
Well thanks kid, you doomed us all!
*- "Hey, I have just invented the most advanced weapon system ever. Want to buy it? It's worth 25 million dollars"*
- "Maybe. How does it work?"
*- "It's simple. You have that rifle that you point at someone that you want dead and then push a button on the side of it. Then a barely controllable genetically engineered monster comes out of no where and kills that person."*
- "Wait, you've spent millions to develop a gun that kills the people it is pointed at when you press a button on it?"
*- "Yep. Well, actually most of the budget went to create the whole giant killer monster thing that comes with the gun"*
- "But an ordinary gun would do this without the need for an extremely expensive and impractical monster."
*...*
*...*
*- "I... Wish I had thought of that sooner."*
Yeah, that will always bothered me when I think about what they planned for "Yellow." I mean O know it's a prototype and they could be working on other stuff but......Why????? 😓😞
Look up what a laser designator is
@@SaltyNewt Watch the movie again and notice what the laser designator is mounted on.
phant0 that’s a laser sight. Completely different from a designator.
@@SaltyNewt Yes, you are right. We can all tell that you are well versed in fictional dinosaur-based weaponry.
Now you can leave happy. Nevermind the joke that went five hundred feet over your head.
31:09 "But [they] think bed sheets are indestructible bomb shelters."
Wait, you mean they're not?!
That means the monster under my bed could have torn me apart any time it wanted to! It still could! AAAGGGHHH!
I imagined that in Bakugo's voice.
Kreinsamer no they definitely are, critic doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
I think you’d know if bed sheets were bomb shelter Kacchan
That would be a hilarious thing to try. Surviving a nuke or gunshots by way of a single sheet.
theoretically the blood transfusion could work but probably only once, a second time would most likely kill Blue, Dog blood has been successfully transfused to Cats when it was the only type available, so its not entirely out of the realm of possibility for a Trex to give blood to a Velociraptor
Yeah, but a T-Rex is still not the best choice for it. There were more better donors and less dangerous ones for it on a ship, like Galimimus
Mary:"They're alive, like me"
Me: THEY'RE DINOSAURS, YOU'RE A HUMAN, you can't bite a man arm clean off but they can, hell most of them could either stomp on you, or eat you whole.
Evidently 2018 was the year Chris Pratt started in big budget franchise entries where humanity is doomed by a single character’s dumb decision.
@@ursaminor9780 wow you're right.
Agent J-23-1991 there was a part where the camera focuses on her eyes and i almost thought they were going to make her part dinosaur.
I COULD do all those things, you don't know my life
@Jerry Graham Now yes the herbivores wouldn't eat them but a little kid just getting to close can easily get stomped by 1
Her writing sucked, but the kid who played Mazie is a pretty good actress. She’s works with what she has...which is nothing
Yeah I thought her character would be used better.
I think they should hurry making a "the last of us" movie and make her Ellie!
John Smith you realize they’re talking about the actress not the character right?
Yeah, I love Critic's line "No matter how charming an actress you are, honey, you WILL be the worst part of this movie."
stfu its a movie chill
Wu wasn’t just a low-key lab rat like they portrayed him in the first movie. Crichton wrote him as the lead geneticist in Jurassic Park. But, like Hammond, he was killed in the book.
Yeah but Holywood Frankensteined the shit out of most characters in movie history
Easy, he will die in dominion
He got away to create an empire later on and then took on the persona of "Fiendish Evil Doctor Wu" and created some malt liquor to shrink black men's d$@k. Fortunately he met his end at the hands of Black Dynamite.
I never saw him as a low-key employee. Maybe I missed something.
@@AlejandroLZuvic SAME!!!
"I'm not as soft as your combat implys"
I'm sorry but you're a civilian who works at a computer making BuzzFeed quizzes on what your zodiac symbol says what dinosaur you are, they are a mercilessly Navy SEAL trained squadron. KNOW YOUR PLACE
Well, in the end she did SOMEHOW managed to survive (ironically by being rescued by the most cowardly character in the movie), while many of those mercenaries are slaughtered by dinosaurs. GOD THIS MOVIE IS STUPID.
THE ROCK SAYS KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH
@@Eccegato Pretty sure that's called "Plot Armor"
I want to see the next film JUST to have a body counter for the deaths by dinosaurs. Every single one will be the clone girls fault. It would be hilarious.
Bro, how disappointed must you have been lol I agree with you it would have been cool but I just had to torment you by bringing your attention back to this comment lol
When I first saw Mazie press the button to release the dinosaurs, my response was: "Way to go kid, you doomed us all!"
Come on admit it, Chris Pratt and Blue had the best romance in the entire movie.
It’s blackly Dino old yeller who doesn’t love that
True
Better than twilight
That was the entire reason I was glad I saw it.
Careless Whisper starts playing
The protagonists try to keep the dinosaurs alive the same exact way Hollywood keeps the Jurassic films alive
Not really.
Making more and releasing them in a planned way into controlled facilities would be the smart way to save dinosaurs as a living species.
Only Halloween 2018-style remake can save it now.
@@CyberSpider35 It wasn't a remake. It just ignored every other movie before it.
Actually, this movie is still really good and evolves the franchise, bringing it in a new direction, which I love!
The same way that Konami tries to keep the Metal Gear franchise alive
Fun fact: the mechanics of the face cloaking hat were actually stolen (then inverted) from Phineas and Ferb. Dr Doofenschmirtz, for example, was always unable to recognize his nemesis Perry the Platipus as soon as he removed his hat.
Perry the platypus!!
"But you already knew that"
The supremely lazy writing substitute for "As you well know..."
Blue: "It's Over Owen! I have the high ground!"
Zero Cool if a Sci-fi fantasy movie with space wizards and laser swords have a better understanding in lava physics than this, then you know you have a problem
I'm pretty sure the Jurassic films are just the prequels to The Flintstones at this point.
Brixie Ann ok that makes TOO much sense!!!!!!
*x-files music plays*
Flintstones. They're the Flintstones. They're part of a post-apocalyptic family. From the Isla of Nublar...
LOL
Brixie Ann Could be. Considering how in the Flintstones there is Christmas, and modern-looking tech made with stone.
Nah, I knew she was a clone when she first sat on the bed and the grandfather was telling her she looked exactly like her mom.
My first thought was... yeah, dinosaur cloning has been reused multiple times. What's next? Right, human cloning.
Is she legal that's the real question 😅
@@truthwooph4083
I'm not sure where you are coming from with that, but... I guess it would depend if clones are human or not?
@@truthwooph4083 Depends. Is it an anime? Then Yes.
Real life probably not.
@@Shadow62x Once you’ve watched enough hentai questions like this just come up regularly.
@@minnesotanfreedomist3147 I feel ya man, I probably should of been more clear, the punchline of the joke was more about the legal system and all that fighting and drama a situation like this would cause in real life
You'd assume the same laws that already apply too humans would also apply to clones...
But knowing humanity the way I do, it would end up in a huge political nightmare with people bringing up all sorts of events that have nothing to do with the situation 🤣😂
Until it's in court ...
Lawyer 1: the law should not apply to them they are not real people !
Lawyer 2: so you are saying we should be able too murder them at will ?
Lawyer 1: Da economy !!!!!
And so on 😭
Anyone remember in JP3 that kid said doctor Malcolm was high on himself?
Well to me the Fallen Kingdom was indeed high on itself!
to me Malcolm was the only character in the series that ever made sense
"Malcom when did you turn into a white woman?"
I figuratively died.
Also the T-Rex is like the Solid Snake of dinosaurs. She's a goddamn NINJA! Wide open field and no one sees or hears her until she dies to murder another dino.
Metal Gear kicks ass. 😎
under the cardboard box is where she is before jumping out from no where.
T-rex's have been recently proven to be quite stealthy, along with a long distance call that no-joke is the genetic known sound of death and nightmares
thats because she was on her toes
Speaking of Metal Gear, anyone notice the writer who wrote this film is also announced for the screenplay of the Metal Gear film?
Rob killed that John Hammond role😂😂😂
"Hey, Rob, how would you feel about playing John Hammond in the Fallen Kingdom review?"
*"I'll show you."*
He's like the coolest douchebag
@@QuartuvLarry Yeah
Which is exactly why he’s gonna be featured in Jurassic World Covenant. Lmfao 🤣
Wait that was a role? 😂
I'm surprised that nothing was said about the fact that Owen shot 2 holes into the sphere they were in under water with a 9 mm pistol, when Jimmy Fallon cameo in the first movie said "it can prevent a 50 caliber bullet".
The "Is this a gang sign? Are you in a gang?" joke always makes my day :D
Also, there should never be more than one premature celebration scene in a movie!
Fun fact: There are actually studies about using captive tiger blood on domestic cats, for the sake of saving some endangered felidae species. Apparently the compability was around 3/10 samples or something along the lines.
My god! Rob looks JUST like his dad in that John Hammond makeup!
Yeah, must have been a laugh when Doug saw him. Hope he took a photo with Dad.
The thumbnail screams:
*"I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!"*
IT'S BRILLIANT BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!
Or to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this. *i say grinning holding up a vial of unknown liquid*
I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. And then, I'll put that flea, and then I'll put that box in another box and then I'll mail that box to myself and when it arrives...
*AHAHAHAHA!!! I'LL SMASH WITH A HAMMER!!!* It's brilliant, brilliant I tell you! Genius I say!
ohhhh feel the power.
Mallet.
"they're alive like me"
*shoots her*
*credits play*
(THIS IS A JOKE)
We would all do the same thing, why have dinosaurs alive when they're just going to kill everyone!?
@@phantomshadow4289 well then we go dino hunting
@Philip Good but it gives no reason for her to release the Dinos that will kill other humans. Also THIS IS A JOKE. I watched the movie. It's just a freaking joke. I enjoyed the movie.
@Philip Good Even though she was 5 and found out she's a clone it still gives her no reason to free the Dinos because they are like her. She's allowing others to die
@Philip Good as well as other people feel strongly about this being the stupid part of the whole movie. i mean sure i love dinosaurs and would be heart broken that they would of died but apparently this is not an island house. this is actually on the mainline. as much as the money grubbing villain is stupid for taking the dinosaurs into the main land, it was just as stupid for someone to let a little girl that is currently having a existential crisis after finding out she is a clone press the release all the dinosaurs out onto the world button. i am not saying shoot her, i am saying secure her and offer the girl some therapy after words.
“You will be the worst part of this movie...”
Also, Dinosaurs would make terrible weapons.
Even if you could get them to obey you perfectly, they're just big targets to hit. Sure the Ankylosaurus has armor that teeth can't pierce, but that means nothing to high caliber rounds or explosives. A literal minefield would render your entire fleet of raptors useless. An autoturret like what North Korea has would kill any dinosaur.
One tank, just ONE. Literally no dinosaur could do anything to it. The T Rex could step on an Abrams and it wouldn't do anything. Wanna move it? Good luck, it can weigh over 60 tons, more than 10x what the T Rex weighs. If that gun fires, the T Rex is red paste, that's like a 110mm bore cannon.
Not to mention jets, attack choppers, drone strikes, or worse yet....mustard gas and the like is only banned against humans. We could literally just gas the things, or shell them with artillery, or use another banned weapon. Sound.
Anything over 190 dB would be lethal. 210 dB is loud enough to rend holes in steel. I still don't see why we couldn't just nuke Isla Nublar. Fuck the dinos
To be fair, I think WMDs would still be illegal to use on dinos because humans might get hurt by them too; one of the big reasons chemical weapons are banned is they are difficult to target, so human collateral damage would be likely.
Its like how they fire like an entire magazine into a dino and it shrugs it off! If dinosaurs were back and faced with any kind of modern weapon, that fight would last less than 5 mins.
Plus, I mean "Lets release all these dinosaurs on american suburbanites! What could possibly go wrong?" XD
I agree. The whole using dinosaurs as weapons idea is just not a very good idea with the technology we have today however, it probably would have worked half a millennium ago though
Beni not to mention the care needed to take care of them. It’s far easier to maintain a tank or any weapon than an animal
If it makes you feel any better, the government napalm the island in the book, and the Telltale game reveals the government was planning on doing that until something off-screen stopped them.
Rob is a perfect John Hammond!
Miracle on 34th Street with Mara Wilson anyone?
@@SQUIDBEARSTUDIO you forgot the last time the Critic reviewed a Mara Wilson film. What she did was unholy and unkind to the Critc
no he is not
Spared no expense...
Jurassic Park, one of the most iconic and epic movies ever.
And now it’s turned into the ”Long Before Time” franchise.
Land
But these dinos don’t talk
@@user-dr2yz8um3d "Alan!"
Sorry, couldn't resist 😅
@@schattentaenzerin💯😂💯
“It’s not as safe as the bed sheets but it’ll have to do.”
LOL. I lost it at this.
They have a great setup for the next movie... I wonder what they gonna focus on instead when they make it.
Instead of a Movie about Dinosaurs going after humans and becomming a real threat or using them in warfare, they will make a movie about hunting the dinosaurs down and the main charakters are trying to save them.
It's gonna be about blue getting on the US Senate trying to enforce dinosaur rights with the main argument that they are not weapons and their gonna spread the word by using hashtags such as #dinosaurlifematters #dinaosaursareplptoo
#usedasweaponsMetoo
@@hernanhenriquez6778 I believe it
Nah, it would be a Mad Max dystopian world with the last of humankind behind huge walls like in Attack on Titan.
But with DINOSAUUUUURRRRSSSSSS!!! \:V/
🦕🦖🦕🦖🦕🦖🦕🦖🦕🦖
Sigh... ikr, the whole set up for the next movie is the only reason this one even exists... if they screw that up to... I just hope they don't...
I think the "they're alive like me" bit was about her being a clone but it would've worked better had she known from the start and been treated poorly by other people progressively getting worse and worse the whole movie so that by the end she no longer related to humans but only other clones. It would've made her reasoning more clear and still given her a bit of sympathy since we'd understand the why even though we don't like what the consequences will be
Even then, letting them out is the single stupidest decision in the entire movie. When Claire was about to press the button I was thinking "No, please, you can't be that stupid." What a relieve when she didn't, but then we got this idiot kid to do it. The only good characters in the entire movie were Owen an Blue. That's it.
WOW let’s just look over all the trauma she had to endure that one night and the fact that she’s a kid
Here's what would have worked: Having someone tell her what she just did. "I hope you understand that you caused a mass extinction of the animal kingdom. We'll survive, we always have, even more so thanks to our technology. The animals however will be left at the mercy of these killing machines. Understand that you killed them all. But hey since you're a fellow clone of them why don't you go talk to them? See how that works out."
hodor I’m not saying what she did wasn’t bad I’m saying what she did wasn’t unrealistic or unexpected after all she endured that one night idiot
hodor really there’s clearly no point in discussing this with you you’re obviously just another troll
Why would the girl save the dinosaurs when she spent the last few minutes running from one?
I was not a fan of the movie, but the Brachiosaurus dying scene made me cry. It was the first creature we ever saw and at the end it’s just an animal that wanted to live. The lack of dialogue also made it much more impactful. That was the best scene of the whole movie
The scene made me sad too. The Brachiosaurus is my favorite dinosaur.
Cringe.
@@Marvelfanatic3658 stfu goofy, u like 12 years old commenting sum dumb shit like that
@@Marvelfanatic3658 stfu, with a response like that ur definitely a 12 year old kid if not u got the intelligence of one
Worst thing in this movie for me: The dinosaurs escaping into the wild is seen as some sort of apocalyptic event. But the first act of the movie (as well as Jurassic Park 2, for that matter) shows those very same dinosaurs being captured with relative ease in their natural habitat by a band of mercenaries. Besides, how many dinosaurs were there in the big escape? 50? You know what they call a species with 50 specimens left in the wild? Critically endangered, that's what. And they weren't even of the same species. Even if they all miraculously survive this new climate none of them has ever seen before, with all that implies for food availability or their chance to stay warm in winter, inbreeding would do them in within a couple of generations. And that's before considering how many trophy hunters there are who'd like to have a dinosaur head on their mantelpiece.
Erlend Andenæs Aren’t you forgetting some people?
Erlend Andenæs yeah they say it would take 50 people to propagate the human race. 2 T. rex aren't gonna be save the species.
@@jamesoleary2476
To be fair though, in the original / first "Jurassic Park"-things they reproduced asexually / via parthenogenesis.
And as far I for one am aware, there has been no mention whether the "Jurassic World"-staff were able or even willing to gene-splice(?) this feature off.
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jeez did you even pay attention to the movie or wait god forbid you actually use your brain. the dinosaurs can be now ILLEGALLY cloned by nefarious people.
Which will do what against a species with NUCLEAR EXPLOSIVE type technology.
The whole thing in the last two movies about dinosaurs being "weapons" is stupid.
The human race has bullets, missiles, and bombs, WTF is a dinosaur going to do against that exactly. Die, that is all they will do. It is such a stupid premise.
Jesus, the one chick's laughter from Garbage Pail Kids felt less forced than Claire's.
This film: Maisie is a clone.
Dominion: She’s not a clone, her mother had her asexually.
WHICH ONE IS IT?!
Writers; Whichever we decided.
"We're seconds away from this thing talking!" More like 18 years ahead(Alan)
She's a clone?........
"Watch out for those wrist rockets!"
*Plays Jurassic Park Theme*
Micah Wolf just like the simulations
Is this a Battlefront reference?
you wish, actually so do i that would give it points up from me
That was such a deep pull into my childhood.
Not to be THAT guy but...
That was a Brachiosaurus, not Brontosaurus.
...I'll see myself out.
LITERALLY looked through the comments to find this comment. Thank you, good sir.
no be that guy point out how stuiped it was for doug to mistake the brachiosaurus for the brontosaurus
:) your a funny guy
Fg
odblog Doesn’t mean anything he mistakes the brachiosaurus for a brontosaurus.
When it comes to future Jurassic Park sequels at the box office, they don't require our assistance. They require our absence.
When I saw this movie with my mom, neither of us had anything to say. We just left the theater in silence.
The clone daughter thing is implied to be the reason Lockwood and Hammond disagreed and split up. Not saying that makes it better, that's just the "why" of it.
Yea, I guessed it abut 40 minutes before they revealed it when Lockwood kept being super evasive about her mom and wouldn't let her see any pictures of her mom. Even then, when they did reveal it, the characters reacted more like, "Huh, well, that happened," and move on way too quickly.
@@Dargonhuman i called the twist the moment they started referencing her
And it's also possible that she maybe part raptor.
@@Ghostwalker2061 Hahahaha! What the fuck man? Somebody didn't pay attention.
@@Ghostwalker2061 Can't tell if you're joking or not. Regardless, there was no hint of her being a hybrid. Lockwood never is said to have wanted that, only wanting his daughter back, and given thatvshe looks exactly like her mother in that one picture of her mother as a child that she sees, I'd say she's a straight-up clone. It kind of makes sense when you think about it: cloning humans, a complex but current species, seems like a step towards cloning extinct ones. The only problem is the moral dilemma of cloning a fellow human, and all that that entails for both the parent and child. Also, it sounded kind of like Lockwood only really wanted to clone his daughter: he had no original interest in the dinosaurs, it seemed. But, it also seemed like he was a close friend of Hammond, since they started together alone. And what with Hammond having passed away and the dinosaurs following closely behind, he decides to do this for Hammond's memory. That's my take on it. Honestly, I want a movie exploring the history between Hammond and Lockwood, and how it all began. It'd be a nice tale.
I can't give Rob enough credit for his John Hammond 😂😂👍👍
The fact that it's a terrible one? Yeah, hit the nail on that oversized head.
Spare no expense
@שחר א. That might be true but fuck you anyway
@שחר א. you do know everyone does their best on this show right? Everyone works hard to give us a good time and you just shit at their face because there's ONE member of the team you really love
At least acknowledge that they're doing their best, geez
@@glyphsaiyan858 what an unnecessary comment
I like how the huge Dinosaurs always go after puny humans instead of a crowd of humans or elephants or ANYTHING BIGGER THAN A 200lb HUMAN
You know I half expected Chris Pratt to say "He played us like a damn fiddle!!" because of how Wu is basically Revolver Ocelot in this movie because of how much he's behind the scenes
I Didn’t Know Detective Pikachu’s Partner Was in This Movie
And the fact that we all enjoy his character in Detective Pikachu and despise his character in Fallen Kingdom shows you the destructive power of shitty writing.
@@AxeMan562 honestly he wasn’t too great in detective pikachu either.
But he was leagues better in that film because he was actually a character with dialogue and motives and not... well he wasn’t skittish nerd #673.
@@AxeMan562 Here's the worst part, he's coming back for the final film.
Not a good first impression, but at least he significantly improved (I think)
@@emerald773sstudio2 apparently Dominion isnt going to be the last one
Honest question, why was Jeff Goldblum in this movie? Was he brought in just so they could use his lines in the trailer?
More than likely.
Yes.
He had a day free.
They really shouldn't have. His character right off the bat explains how keeping the dinosaurs around *is a bad idea* . In like the first 10 minutes I'm already on his side and find the protagonist's reasons really stupid and irresponsible. Not only to humans but the whole ecosystem.
Now I just want the next movie to be Jeff Goldblum telling everyone "I told you so"
@@rissarae3Funny thing is that he has an overall bigger role in Jurassic World: Evolution compared to this.
“They’re alive. Like me.”
All right folks, I think we finally found a scene dumber than “Saving what we love.” from TLJ
@Jerry Graham I fully agree, CANCEL this little punk! No Mercy, sweep the leg, only the strong survive!
At least Rose stopping Finn was justified by the fact that Finn’s suicide run would’ve been completely in vain since he was driving a dingy, actively melting speeder into a fortified laser cannon built to destroy fortress walls. She knew better than anyone how his sacrifice would’ve been useless and wanted to stop him from throwing his life away and changing nothing in the process.
I only like the original Jurassic Park movie and Lost World. If the Jurassic Park franchise just ended with the first movie or at Lost World you'd probably be satisfied.
Jurassic World: Fallen to Copyrights- Nostalgia Critic.
Even the T-Rex's roar sounds exhausted... :_( That's truly heartbreaking.
She's 28 years old, Rexes only live to about 30. She's like 90 in human years.
But...those roars are nearly the same as the others in the past...
DVJFan no u
trex: “I’m a mother fucki-- aaahhh we’re still making these? I’m getting too old for this shit.... *just leaves*”
While rewatching all this, I'd just like to mention Claire didn't own Jurassic World. She was just the Manager. Doug repeatedly says she owned the place, and wasn't just a cog in a corporation.
“I’ve got a whale of a tale for you.. he hee. That’ll be funny in a minute.”
9:56. What's worse here is that unlike other movies, they didn't even just meet each other in the first one. They literally just went back to being broken up like in the first one. I just they just copied and pasted it and forgot to change it.
They sure seemed like each other since they kept kissing each other.
Joe Greenwell They kissed like... once
I remember they kissed once he took down a pterodactyl and when they found each other in the infirmary type area at the end. That was their whole story. They were dating and broke up but the whole deal with the Indominus Rex ended up getting them together again.
EDIT: I looked it up and they don't kiss in the infirmary, but they look at each other really nicely and they say they should stick together as they walk out together.
Do you guys just run around kissing people with no romantic meaning?
@@ninjahombrepalito1721 logically they shouldn't have because they have little chemistry, but that's how they wrote it.
Dr. Wu has become the Revolver Ocelot of the Jurassic Park/World series.
Daniel Clark the what?
Hahaha
Too bad that he is nowhere near as half as cool as Revolver Ocelot.
He was pulling the strings the whole time!
@@cadethumann8605 he only reembles him in the playing with all teams and none at all
And to be honest Ocelot lost his charm after 2
Personally I never understood the whole “use dinos in the military” plot. YOU can’t control them. All you could do is say unleash a pack of raptors in an enemy area, have then hunt and kill to the best of therr ability HOPING they kill the Right people. And then after a predetermined time, detonate a series of bombs implanted in each raptor, rendering the need to capture them back null and void... or you send a crack team of trained soldiers with good intel and gear
Best Nostalgia Critic episodes:
1: Temple of Doom (I love every single thing! It’s hilarious!)
2: Batman and Robin (Doug’s descent into madness cracks me up)
3: Fallen Kingdom (Sarcasm and satire at its finest)
4: Spider-Man 3 (Destroys my least fav movie with silly ideas)
5: Search For Spock (Last time on the Nostalgia Critic video…)
6: Force Awakens (The entire thing feels like a 20 minute intro)
7: Out of the Shadows (An epic crossover of the ages!)
8: Nostalgic Commercials Saga (An important part of the channel)
9: Back To the Future (Covers some of my favorite movies)
10: Eight Crazy Nights (As a Jew, the intro gets me everytime)
HM: Ghostbusters II, The Dark Knight, The Lorax
To be fair on the stupid IndoRaptor they did say it was a crazy unfinished prototype they just planned on getting rid of.
Wait, Claire wasnt the owner of the park in the last movie, that indian guy in the helicopter was the owner.
his name was simon misarani he bought ingen after john hammond died
@@somedudewhodraws9377 *Masrani.
I think after he died in the helicopter crash, Claire became the default owner.
Oh right, the guy whose computer technician had a poorly developed crush on him and who has had absolutely zero impact on the story?
I refer to him as pointless asian dude.
another one of nostalgia critics many fuck ups
If Jurassic World Dominion does not open with Owen, Claire, Zia, Franklin and Maisy all getting eaten by the T-Rex, it will already have failed viewers.
It's already failed viewers by existing. Seriously, even COVID couldn't stop it.
Adults, some kids, and dinosaurs. This literally summarizes each and every Jurassic Park movie.
Just wanna point out: the guys that got devoured after the beasts got released were also alive, like her.
Some of them maybe had family, while the monsters will die off anyway after killing many more families, because they won't find a female, or another beast to fertilize the eggs.
And your point is?
humans kill a lot of stuff too I mean just from your example that little girl killed Humanity probably
Also all the dinosaurs also had family you just didn't care about them.
Maui Randall So this already shows how sick you are. So because some humans kill that means that those people deserved to die. For all you know some of them could hav been vegetarian. The fact that you think their lives are less than a creature (dinosaurs) that cannot try to see from the perspective of another species , that has no empathy, etc. Says a lot about you. We some people kill they feel guilt, some change, some try to do good, when a Dino kills it woo the give you a second thought. Also, they are clones and they only made many so I don’t know think they have families.
@@nykerianash1590 here's the rundown, yes they are clones, yes they will eventually die, but a T-Rex can eat 500 pounds of flesh and bone in one bite, a velociraptor is believed to be as fast as a cheetah, guess what I might like non human animals more then humans but I still say let those over grown geckos die, I don't care if your a clone like them mazy your a human that doesn't kill to survive and can easily be taught things, dinosaurs are wild animals that went extinct millions of years ago and they shouldn't have been brought back to life cuz as you can see we can't control them
@@ryuudraco592
All of you are missing the point of Maisie releasing the dinosaurs. She is supposed to represent their side of the argument to the audience. Yes, they are clones, yes many of them are carnivorous, but they have a right to live regardless.
Her "they're alive like me" argument gets so much hate. I could find a disabled pitbull at a shelter and take it home. Someone would surely say how "dangerous pitbulls are, why did you adopt that thing???"
Why? Because, I have a disability just like this 3-legged pitbull. I have compassion for a seemingly dangerous creature because I share a trait with it.
Understand now?
@@alexbenjaminlubbers except 1 the pitbulls are no more dangerous then any other breed of dogs it's just that pitbulls are conceived as dangerous because they had a bad owner who abused them and media uses them as the go to junkyard dog. 2 dogs are trainable and have been bread to be much more controllable than their wolf ancestors. Dinosaurs or at least in Jurassic Park movies can not be trained as quickly as a dog and since their related to lizards they can't be trained like a dog since their brains can only process food, mate, and fight/run. where a dog and humans like Maisie can learn good behavior from bad behavior
And not even a single one "I'm a dinosaur" from Rob? I'm disappoint
Walter killed dinosaur!rob.
I love how Malcom perks up when Tamara says she knows why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch.
It’s crazy how Rexy literally looks better in the original than in this movie
Bad pacing aside, the scene of the Brachiosaurus dying in the volcanic fumes did tug a few heart strings for me. In an otherwise bombastic and fast-paced movie, it was a surprisingly dark and somber moment -- which was only magnified by the Brachiosaurus' role in the previous movies (especially the original Jurassic Park). It's just a shame the pacing couldn't do a better job of framing the scene's tragic vibe. Instead everything before and after is all, "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now!"
Too bad in the scene before that the MCs drove a magical truck that can jump upwards off a completely flat surfasce and somehow silently land on a boat where the bad guys somehow can't recognize the red headed cunt even though she's just wearing a hat.
StrunDoNhor I think the part where it did that pose was a little unnecessary, it should just vanished in the ashes, would’ve made me actually feel something more than “oh it’s doing that thing it did in the first movie...cool?”
@@ninjahombrepalito1721 Bullshit. All it takes is too look at her face for a second and they'll instantly recognize her.
@@ninjahombrepalito1721 It is a big deal because people acted like a magic anti gravity truck didn't just jumped on the boat. Don't even get me started on the mentally retarded 9 year old in this movie(yes my head canon is that she's mentally retarded from the cloning process).
I'm sure a lot o people will get trampled by the dinosaurs released by a clone girl. Have any feels for civilians?
That thumbnail is pure gold. Will watch this after I get back from work tonight. Just came in to say that real quick.
Matthew Miller you work at this hour!?!?!? What do you do?
No one gives a fuck go put in your time at your part time job and stop reaching bitch
That thumbnail is pretty good. It made me want to watch it as soon as I did. I'm not even into the Jurassic franchise. I just knew it was going to be good... and it was.
I watched it at work.
Well, if Critic isn't hyped for the T-Rex anymore, time to kill it...
30:46
"A RAPTOR ON THE ROOOOOF?!?"
Lmaoooooooo yoooooo
One of my biggest questions in this film and the previous movies after the first film is...do the humans in these movies really deserve the levels of dinosaur related vengeance that they receive? I mean most of the people who die are just ordinary people killed so that the audience gets to have their big dumb monster moment (the first movie only kills four characters (five if you count the opening), and all of those were off-camera and never played up as these glorious or awesome moments outside of "clever girl." The deaths were all dramatic and mattered because they happened to named and well established characters. None of these clowns have anything to them and feel like either pieces of cardboard or cartoons so I find it so difficult to even think it is awesome or satisfying.) I for one don't really enjoy this unjustified level of gratuitous violence, and that's not because I'm against gore or violence in films either. I don't mind something like Evil Dead and its violence because it is either purposefully silly or serves some dramatic and tonal purpose, and I don't mind the murder of innocents in something like No Country for Old Men because I want to see Chigurh succeed. I don't have any desire to see the personality-less T-Rex or super lizard mutant monster whatever to succeed in their overly violent killings of randos. This film(the others too) makes it seem like "Oh yeah, all of the assholes of the U.S. are going to die now! Awesome right?" What about all of the old people, children, mentally ill, physically disabled, and homeless that are essentially going to be ground up into chum? Half of them wouldn't even understand what was happening to them, but would get killed because I guess the metabolism of reptiles is so impressive that they need to constantly eat small and scrawny little humans that run away and fight back, causing the dinosaurs to expend way more energy to actually kill them than they would receive. You ever wonder why sharks don't eat minnows? Same principle. Ever wonder why gators and crocs attack in short bursts and give up easily? Same principle, though it is also because reptiles have low stamina that shows itself in great bursts of action. Most of the time dinosaurs would be struggling to maintain their body temperature lest they die (another thing reptiles must do, either by alternating between the sun and the shade, or the sun and a body of water). I'm not saying these movies need to be animal planet, but it is at walking dead levels of "Oh nothing is happening, throw a dinosaur on screen and let them just kill some people who should know better."
I think you may be giving the creators of this movie too much credit. I find it unlikely that the dinosaur related deaths have anything to do with "punishing" the people involved, that would indicate a level of self-awareness and subtlety that simply doesn't exist in these movies. The high body count is much more likely the result of when an incompetent writer wants to raise the stakes for a sequel gets his hands on the script. If ten people died last time, then 20 need to die this time. But Mr. incompetent writer doesn't want to sacrifice the main characters or any of the supporting cast he spent all of five minutes crafting, nor does he want to introduce any new named characters in order to fill out the mandatory self-imposed death toll. So the killing is delegated to random civilians and incompetent soldiers to make things easier. You have to be sure the soldiers are totally and unequivocally oblivious and stupid though. Heaven knows if any of them knew how to use a rifle the entire "invincible monster" illusion (not to mention the plot) would evaporate.
Gotta be honest..... The thing about this movie that REALLY pissed me off was the FALSE ADVERTISING!!! Like, in ALL of the trailers, they showed the T-Rex and a lion having a roaring contest. I'm like "holy shit, that's awesome! I have to find out for myself how things got to that point!" Only for it to be lazily slapped into the last five minutes of the movie! Im pretty sure they made the trailer and then just realized that they couldn't release it without actually having a movie to go with it.
nah
D. weeb You never saw the first two official trailers, did you?
i liked this movie but it did feel like a place holder
It was a quick clip as part of the "dinosaurs are now in the world" thing in the end.
D. weeb it still happened so I don’t know what your complaining about
The movie: the indoraptor is a prototype
Nostalgia Critic: this thing is bad at being a weapon.
The irony is, this review has so much original dialogue, it is now technically classified as a sequel too.
How is a football player twice as expensive as all dinosaurs on earth?
Simple: he's a 1960s' football player (he himself is a dinosaur)
He's most expensive because how often do you see any of the other dinosaurs *play football!*
He’s just pointing out the terrible writing where all the dinos were sold for less money than just one footballer.
Which football player? Are you referring to Cristiano Ronaldo?
@@unclecreepy9202 Hell, they're being sold to bad dudes that treat dinosaurs like nukes or some kinda advanced weapon. They're wild animals! You can try to tame them, but I'd put my money on trained humans with guns that aren't held down by inept writing!
@@silverblade357 yeah... but they're goddamn dinosaurs
Oh no! If we don't save the dinosaurs, then they'll go extinct, and we know from Jurassic Park that that means they can never be brought back to life again!
Exactly. The biggest and dumbest plot hole in the film. All you need is DNA samples; even if all the dinosaurs die *you can remake them like you did last time.*
@@matthewcollins4773 also they ARENT BEING BURNED. So... They can die and you can get more
No, but my pet doesn't try to eat me most of the time.
I'm not saying "kill all the dinosaurs." I'm saying "don't save the dinosaurs because any attempt to do so (as shown by the movie) will be a fiasco and you can bring them back anyway because that's literally the premise of the entire franchise."
Dying by volcanic eruption is neither slow nor painful, especially compared to the brutal fights against humans and other dinosaurs that tend to kill them in both this and previous movies. Saving them is not worth the many human lives that were lost in the endeavor, especially when extinction is not at all an issue in this setting. It was stupid to put them on top of a volcano in the first place, but that stupidity does not justify the additional stupidity of a dangerous mission to rescue them. Obviously, if it were possible in a Jurassic Park movie to handle the dinosaurs safely and humanely, that would be the ideal choice, but the movies have shown time and time again that doing so is impossible and will always lead to massive casualties, both human and dinosaur. The entire point of the movies is that humans interfering with dinosaurs, including their resurrection, is a bad idea.
13:20 doug, that literally is a veterinarian never seeing an animal.
I love how, although Doug is not conservative by any means, even he is fed up with seeing social justice crap shoe-horned into movies.
That dinosaur vet was like the Jurassic Park universe's version of Rose Tico.
Yes, complaining about something that had little to no presence in the movie. Annoying characters and Trump jabs? yes. SJW nonsense? Not really.
And Rose was guility of what? Being a not really interesting character in a divisive movie? Oh those damn SJWs...
"Again, LITTERALLY Malcolm" I love that line and am sure that bit was made after he read the review's script.
14:26 who else noticed Chris Pratt's hand flicking some lava with absolutely no harm done to it?
I noticed that. Considering it would cause incredible damage and pain to his hand, I just assumed that a bubble of lava just popped where his hand was
Or the fact that he didn't die from the toxic fumes of being that close top lava or the fact that a little girl doomed mankind because of her own existential crisis.
Or that he was completely engulfed in volcanic ash over 1000 degrees
Thanks for pointing that out, I wasn't sure if that was just me or if that actually happened. XD
i'm guessing ya'll have never watched any of actual people playing with actual lava videos... all over fucking youtube.
You know, instead of saying that dumbass "They're alive, like me" line, you could replace it with "I'm a misanthrope, sue me" or "I just found out I'm a freaking clone, can you really blame me? "
I may be a bit late, but to the films credit, the transfusion scene was surprisingly medically accurate compared to the rest of it.
You actually don't need specific subspecies blood, just as you wouldn't need ONLY poodle blood to save a poodle.
Oh... the t rex and a raptor were in there... yeah that was the right choice little girl. The right choice.
Blue was already out there
But yeh there was a T-Rex, a Carnotaurus, and an Allosaurus
@Malcolm Harris I mean until the army/cops bring out a bazooka and end these things lives. This is 2018 and a few dozen large dinosaurs are in no way an existential threat to humanity.
@@devilmikey00 when will everyone release nostalgia critic is just awful
He says tom and Jerry never talks tom talked in three cartoons Jerry only talked in one
For all his the horrible CGI effect and animation that's clearly what he is doing
And worst of all in Jason vs Freddy review it us pickachu head cut of while ash was crying and he made joke about it
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@@ninjahombrepalito1721 Not in the short term. But, well, try googling "invasive species" & "Australia"
You missed the actual dumbest part of the movie, the part where they demonstrates how the endo raptor works...by pointing a laser pointer rifle at the target they want the raptor to kill... Like..why not just point an actual rifle and kill the target with bullets?
Exactly, the whole idea of weaponizing dinosaurs is stupid. We've already had war elephants in real life for that purpose, and they got phased out once tanks were invented because relying on large animals who easily get startled and go berserk is a terrible idea.
Just drop some caltrops or fire, animals are terrible in war because they can easily be scared off.
Zeroni not the belgian malinois. Those dogs are fearless and run strait into the gun fire and explosions to help out. They even jump from helicopters. It’s thought a mal was the reason they found bin laden. Now imagine that dog was a raptor, who you could just clone again if it died.
Because that is not as fun :(
How it should've ended already used that joke, and these comedy-analysis channels try not to cover the same ground as each other.
I didn’t mind the first one this one I literally struggled to keep my eyes open on the theatre. Hope their is a 3rd with them attacking city’s though.
"They're alive, like me."
So is python snakes, venomous spiders and scorpions and we all hate them and kill them because they show a threat. What makes DINOSAURS any different?
Especially considering she just inadvertently killed the entire ecosystem of the surrounding forest by introducing invasive species that are also apex predators
@@dubiousdeliquite6641 And yet you will still find people who will defend this movie and this ending -_-
The fuck is your problem with spiders? Hell, snakes too. I don't know much about scorpions so I can't say anything about them but with snakes and spiders all you have to do is not piss them off. It's pretty easy
I love snakes. Spiders and scorpions are cool too, I wouldn't kill them. I give them the respect they deserve
Mark Trigg same, I also think reptiles and bugs are beautiful and are honestly less aggressive than mammals and birds in most cases
My original reply was only really agreeing with the fact that "theyre alive" is a dumb reason to keep a bunch of animals alive when releasing them will kill most of the nearby animals via being invasive species - this isnt really directed at anyone in particular, just throwing it out there because rereading my original reply makes it look like im one of those people who hates critters just because theyre creepy even though they are pretty safe to handle if you dont freak them out
24:50 Isn’t sad that I care more about Hammond’s cane breaking than Lockwood dying! Still oh no not the cane!! 😢
Yeah, that cane was really fucking dope even in the first movie
The first Jurassic Park is the best. Jurassic world wasn't bad.
thank you. also the first Jurassic park had similar flaws as all the other movies but since it came out first no cares XD
At least the first one tried.
The only memorable moments in Jurassic World were the loosing of the dinosaurs on the general public and the T-Rex/Velociraptor tag team match.
I swear, I don't want to remember any other "characters" in that movie, they either never mattered and were axed with little fanfare (except for that secretary that was tasked with looking after those kids, God rest her soul) or were so irritatingly 2 dimensional that one cannot help but tap their feet impatiently waiting for more scenes with what really mattered.....dinosaurs.
@@Hermitstatus yeppers
I liked Jurassic World! I was shocked and saddened at the sequel.. They had something going with Jurassic World and they fucked it all up..
Jurassic Park, the movie where people don't understand that messing with Dinosaurs always results in disaster.
So what your saying is that the evil guys had the face recognition skills of Dr. Doofenshmirtz.
"Hahaaaaa, he's afraid of the T-Rex!"
....Implying he shouldn't be?
Bryan Jackson Implying that “he’s afraid of the T-rex” is a horribly unfunny joke.
He's not saying the guy shouldn't be. He's saying it's a Forced Joke. It's a shit character trait with No Pay Off. We Never see him up against the T-Rex. He should've been eaten by it.
No but it was pointless since he never actually sees the T.rex.
I wouldnt be afraid, but I am already dead and I've got a few dragons on hand
@@1000000man1 He wasn't, then what was the point of that joke if you don't go for the obvious punchline! That's like having Bugs Bunny go to the woods and not antagonize Elmer!
When are you and rob gonna review the grinch? (2018 one)
If you’re talking about the one with Jim Carrey in it, it’s already reviewed.
When the chart says
No the 2018 one
Oh, the new animated one? Maybe next Christmas.
I meant a sibling rivalry or a Doug reviews
I think the girl being a clone was a twist recommended by M. Night Shyamalan when they were on a flight together.
That twist of Maisie being a clone was not as dumb as people think. They literally teased it throughout the movie and the idea of cloning humans are not that far off the picture.
I think you mean while they were flying high together (and I like Shyamalan)