Yes but I want to know if people can be circumstantially narcissistic? Like given the position they uphold, will they will tend to gravitate towards narcissistic values to defend that position. Because if narcissism is a trait, I want to know if it is inherited or as a result of preserving their beliefs and values.
You need a therapist!. Write down your thougts in a diary and hide it from the narc or people they controll. 1: sett firm boundarys 2: if that dont work then simply ghost them, you dont need to explain youself. 3: you have a right to your own mental health, this is nothing to « ask for». 4: dont listen to their lies and « storys». 5: read up on co dependency disorder asap!
@@lilyanrs Gray Rocking is a good method to protect yourself when you can not or are not ready to leave. Dr Ramani has many wonderful resources when it comes to Narcissistic relationships and Narcissistic Parents. Remember you are not alone, I hope this helps a little
My biggest advice for anyone dealing with a narcissist. Assume EVERYTHING they say is a lie. Until they can actually prove it. Remember, they love control.
But it’s the truth. My now ex who is the father of my child is a narcissist.. I left hun just two days ago and it hurts when you genuinely love them.. but I told him I can’t do it anymore and for him to get better for his baby and himself. I’m trying not to go back even though I want too. But I’m 7 months pregnant and anything can trigger me to go into labor, and his outburst are too much too Handle. It’s best he and I split till he does prove it to me.
@@theegirlyana put yourself & your babies first! These narcissist abusive "boys" will not change unless they want to, from the inside. I've been stuck in a nightmare of a "relationship " for 2yrs & in planning my leaving. Doesn't matter how many apologies, they keep hurting you. NARCISSIST PPL CAN NOT HAVE CHILDREN. THEY ARE ABUSIVE IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. kids need protection & much love so they don't grow up with the parents habits or feeling bad about who they are, etc. Trauma is real. I can't imagine a narcissist who has a "bad day", anything pisses them off, & you add innocent kids into the picture... not good. Please be careful. It's not worth going back because these ppl don't even REALIZE they have a problem. The hurt will continue or get worse. I "believed"the first 50 million apologies. Not worth it. So much manipulation its disgusting in a human. They are not capable of showing empathy. So they can't put themselves in others ppl shoes cuz it's all about "them". So what would happen when the kids have a sad day at school or wutever, they fall from their bike & maybe cry? A narcissist will not show empathy or carrying. Its too much work to pretend to be a decent human being. Yes it's sad we actually loved these ppl. But you have to love yourself FIRST, so you can be in the right mind to be awesome for the little ones. Your mental health is important. You are important. You kids are important. You matter. Everyone else can go kick rocks.
@@theegirlyana leave him for the sake of yourself and your child. growing up without a "father" is much better than having a narcissistic, self absorbed parent. your child won't have a happy childhood with a parent who can't even their child well. i know you love him, but staying will only make things worse. this relationship will only grow more and more toxic, and it won't be good for you or your child. put you and your child first, these toxic people don't deserve you, because you matter a lot and deserve a partner who's loving, supportive, understanding, caring and unselfish. also, it's been two months, im not sure if you've given birth yet but if you have, i wish you and your baby the best of luck. stay safe and happy, don't make choices you'll come to regret :))
10,000Lakes B.C. Hi I left him first 17 years ago.....then weakened had my third daughter with him....so forever in his life...I let him put me off my dinner last night....as he kept messaging my girl,asking why he can not visit today....we busy wasn't good enough...it's my Baby Brothers 30th today,we will all be Zooming,having a party and he so isn't invited.....so no peace your right...I so hope you can put the pieces back together,very soon sweetheart....Rebekah Mary 💜🌎🕊🇬🇧
Psych2Go Hey,thank you so very much,think your wonderful,found you last night....your voice is lovely and you have already helped a lot....wishing you all the very best Rebekah Mary 💜🌳🌸
Guys, here's an advice from an actual narcissist: tell them what you think of them. The problem with many narcissists is that we don't recognise that we are actually wrong, we genuenly believe that everything we do is justified. It took a heated argument and cutting ties with all my friends to realise there was something wrong with me and not them
You describe it very well. Im now recognising my narcism and i feel bad about it. But its all comes with communications. I hope we can be stronger then ever before…hope
On the other hand, some too deep in the trench will dismiss or misuse that information and just keep going. Even if you tell someone what you think of them or how they hurt you, in the end any change comes from within. There's no telling what's the right solution to every situation.
u r not a true narcissist,narcissist doesn't listen,they r ALWAYS right,and i mean ALWAYS,there's not a single time they will think back and realize they did wrong,not even once.They will keep telling u it's ur fault even the fault is theirs,and if u don agree with them,they will tell u r a narcissist and never listen to ppl.
I would always call my ex out on her bullshit when she would be manipulative or devaluing me. She would turn around and do the silent treatment to me. I told her how I felt about everything and she tried to turn everything around on me lol. Insane the level they go to try and control you.
Gaslighting is so evil, but sadly it really is very common in people with Narcissism. The hardest part is to accept that someone you trusted intentionally tried to drive you crazy 😓
I learned that from my first serious relationship. He seriously thought that I would play his cowardly games... In a twisted sense, I have that ex to thank, for teaching me first-hand what to look for. But more importantly, I have myself to thank for getting out, as well as my loved ones for supporting me through it.
Gaslighting is so stupid. If they are treating you bad for a mistake you supposedly made they just exposed themselves. You don’t even need to know gaslighting to know if they treat you bad for a mistake more than once I would just leave without a second thought. It’s very hard for me to trust someone so I guess that’s why I find the tricks of a narcissist really dumb.
I used to be really narcissistic and I'm still learning better ways to manage my emotions so I won't put my loved ones through that. It took me time to accept that I was the toxic one and when I did, I was able to start on the journey to cultivating a healthy relationship with myself and others. And as much as I'm ashamed of what I was, I use it to motivate myself to keep getting better and to treat others with respect and kindness.
“There is simply no winning with a narcissist. He will treat you so horribly that you will become withdrawn and depressed and then he will turn around and say, ‘You’re no fun anymore, you’re always so depressed. I need to be with someone more positive.’” - Susan Williams
Oh my God, yes mine said this, he got alot of money & he ran solid for a year, leaving me out of everything then I became quiet & depressed , He wanted someone younger & more fun*
Ouch this stings. Got told I was cold and unrecognisable only the other day... After she hit me and railed on me uncontrollably for a solid hour without apologising, then tried to force me to kiss her, then started wailing uncontrollably that I made her feel like shit and I'm a horrible person. All because I dared query why she was looking at her ex boyfriends Instagram when I got back in bed. Tell me I'm crazy someone?!
YES! My ex husband was EVERYTHING I needed in a man. Kept that up for maybe 2 years but the narcissism was starting to show after a year. I remember after losing our daughter in childbirth I really just wanted to leave but I was suicidal and he went back to being that so very magnetic personality that I stayed. After 2 years I remember telling him “ the kids ( his 2 and my 2) and I feel like we’re walking on eggshells with you.” And with those times he always made everything my fault. He never hit me. But he didn’t need to. I felt like shit the whole marriage. I stayed 16 years. I so fear getting into another relationship because of that man. 8 years single and I haven’t had even one relationship.
Summary: 1. Gaslighting (makes victim questions themselves) 1:17 2. Projection (dumps pain and problems on the victim) 2:11 3. Guilt tripping (makes victim feels sorry for you) 2:42 4. Silent treatment (not talking to victim) 3:08 5. Feigned ignorance (plays dumb so you forgive them) 3:41 6. Playing the victim (makes you feel bad for them) 4:17 7. Throwing tantrums (uses anger to control you) 5:04 If you are a victim of narcissism, I hope you can use this video to learn. Good luck and have a wonderful day in quarantine 🖤
My husband of 21 years does all of this. I finally woke up a year and a half ago and realized how evil his actions are. I left 10 months ago and will never go back. Please leave if you can!!
You just gave me hope coz it's been 20years also but realised he s nojt gonna change and he also says it... But I'm so angry I need to make ihim feel what I felt all these years, I'm suffering from fibromyalgia, stress, depression, anxiety, everything because if him I have gained weight im always sick he took my youthful years I can't just leave him he need to taste his own medicine.
@@munterboy9298 Yes I have a daughter and she was sixteen when we left. I took her and left. She saw how he would treat me and she hated it.She saw all the abuse.She's the one that encouraged me to go. Her father has never been close to her. He was never active in her life even though they lived under the same roof! He's never embraced her or hugged her. He's truly a selfish you know what. Now we are both so much happier.
@@jabunxumalo3750 The best revenge is to leave his ass. Do not look back just go. Do not have any contact whatsoever. This will drive the narcissist crazy
For me, the covert narcissist comes across as a people pleaser. They like to be in the spotlight to get the validation that they crave for, as other narcissists but at the same time, they pretend to be humble, simple, generous, over giving. The covert narcissist will take time to build a relationship/friendship with you. During this period, they will show their admiration and their devotion by helping you with everything that is you need. They will try to convince you that you are soulmates and that they understand you deeply. At the same time, you will see them being overly altruistic, maybe helping society by engaging in charities, activism. They feed the poor, take care of the homeless. All this makes you think how lucky you are for having met such a beautiful soul. You want to be by their side for ever. However, soon you notice how much they enjoy being invited in galas to talk about their achievements. But they don’t admit that. They still play the humble guy who doesn’t want all this. Who is beyond money, beyond fame and recognition, who wants to share the floor with other people. But their acts don’t match their words. You come to realise that this selfless soul is actually doing whatever it takes to be in the centre of attention. When you do something together be it at work or at home, they want to control everything about it. They just exerce their control in a more polite and implicit way, making you believe that your voice was heard whereas in reality you did what they wanted you to do. Covert narcissists have a smooth way of leading you on. They don’t shout, they don’t give orders. They are master actors. They convince you that you are together in this. What makes them a narcissist is that when the time comes for them to use you in order to draw certain benefits, they will do it without a second thought and you are not going to believe in your eyes. And when you stand up for yourself and raise your voice against them calling them for their phony identity, then you will see their rage for the first time and the mask will fall. Covert narcissists manipulate less with rage/exhibiting superiority and more with people pleasing behaviour/playing the eternal victim. They are not aggressive as overt narcissists. They are more cunning. What they both have in common is self-centered ness and lack of empathy. In the case of coverts, it will take you longer to find out. They knew what they wanted to get out of you from the beginning. They created a whole theatre play to fool you about who they are and their true motives. You will trust them with all your heart but when the time comes for them to prove their loyalty by choosing your bond over their personal gain, they will choose the latter with no remorse, without even taking any responsibility. Unlike the overt narcissist, they will have an eloquent excuse for doing so, rationalizing why they had to f@ck you over. They will pretend to be sorry about it because this is something that matches the image of modesty that they want to project but in reality they are not sorry at all. You will see them partying with your own money when they said they didn’t have enough to pay you back. You will see them being unfair and untrustworthy to other people as well. When the mask of the victim will fall, you will see the cruel smile of a perpetrator who managed to get what they want without deserving it. If you decide to unmask them run for your life. Moreover, If you need to find out about a cheating narcissist; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
He as a victim from sexciul about when he was 15 by a workers of God and he gets mantal problem, After that no one believes in him, he never tells again.
One of the narcissists' favorites: Intermittent reinforcement, the unpredictable ever-changing cycle of mean-sweet, push-pull, hot-cold ... makes the victim totally confused and addicted (dopamine rushes) to boot. Do not give these toxic people the benefit of the doubt. Walk away as quickly as possible!
I have experienced all these idk why im still here and keep responding his texts and calls...i will beg God this 12 when it turns 2021 to help me get rid of him
@@ZOne_26 do not ever do this . The moment you call out the narcissist , the abuse escalates . Us pointing out to a narcissist that they have an inherent problem , greatly greatly offends them and puts us in danger. Dr. Ramani has a great video on this on UA-cam, search it up.
There are lists of abusive acts by narcissists. I would like to add one. It is "narcissist over ride". That's when a narcissist constantly bumps you out of a conversation and over rides everything you have to say. They will verbally pound you, often with aggressive body language, should you have something to say, with their point of view until you just give up. Best thing to do is to leave at that moment. Walk to another room, etc. Or, if possible, tell this person to stop over riding you when you talk. Of course, they will then blame it on you, but you'll have made at least some kind of stand. Professionals may have other ways to handle this insulting behavior. Thank you.
I just realized I’ve been in a 8 year relationship full of Narcissistically events. This video just confirmed my heart and all the signs were true. Now it’s time for me to leave her even though my heart hurts. Please send me prayers 🙏
if indeed it is 'love', or a need to feel loved. They can love bomb you so easily and if we are needy (brought up without love) we are very easy bait. Best to work on self-love etc and self-worth, don't ignore red 🚩flags, and have healthy boundaries. So if someone is going in to quick and it feels not right, listen to your own inner voice (i have been burnt many times and learnt finally to love myself at the age of 53) 💗🙏🌸am 54 now
It's not love fam. Nor they love you because they see love and any vulnerability as a weak individual. And what you think love is your own denial to letting that toxic person go because you might feel they are what your looking for but in fact you are fighting your truth of that person and it ends bad. I have been there fam.
@@naylisyazwina6836 No disrespect to you but anyone can make statistics work for them. There is no way of accurately correlate NPD numbers. For example all the comments on this video were not in those statistics you mentioned. My wife is not in those statistics :)
That is because it takes much more for a woman to get diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, because people expect women to have a lot of these traits. You must have it pretty severe to get diagnosed as a woman, not so much if you're a man.
It's hard to tell, some people are just in the narcissistic spectrum, they don't have full blown Narcissistic personality disorder. And as we know, most narcissists think, there is nothing wrong with them, they walk around without diagnose and get no treatment..
Every single manipulation tactic all but implies the use of the lying tactic and the gaslighting tactic. I actually dislike it a little calling out gaslighting as a manipulation tactic as it's actually an effect. All manipulation tactics will contribute to it by nature of what manipulation is. Some tactics however certainly take the gaslighting effect to a whole different level. Blatant lies that are so bad they insult your intelligence is one of them. That kind of shit will make you feel like you are in the twilight zone after a while. Here are some of the reasons they do this: To test their control. To feel superior and/or entertainment. This proves to themselves how much control they have over you. In the end, you will give up and you will not leave (trauma bonded). In the process of getting to the giving up stage, you will go through some pretty nasty emotional states ending in massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to swallow all of that. Cognitive dissonance is a trauma defense mechanism where you essentially lie to yourself in various ways so that you can bring back some semblance of equilibrium to the insanity you find yourself unable to escape from. As part of the ‘backing you into an emotional corner’ tactic. This is a tactic where you are manipulated into being emotionally unstable inevitably leading to you losing your shit. This gives the narcissist a big dopamine burst, they feel powerful and superior having so deftly controlled you and manipulated into this emotional state. To finish the little game they play, they make sure to point out how unhinged and unstable you are and suggest that perhaps you need help or medication. Of course, you will internalize all that shame and guilt and the million other raging emotions they have created and swallow all that essentially allowing them to scapegoat their blame and accountability onto you. Bring on some more cognitive dissonance and gaslighting effects. To condition you to expect less respect, and ultimately put up with more abuse. You will tire of the inevitable circular argument trying to convince the narcissist of the blatantly obvious lie and eventually find yourself challenging them less and less as you subconsciously accept the fact that if you do it will just make your life and emotional state more miserable and you will be denied the satisfaction of any kind of ‘win’ even if it is easy to disprove. This is part of the domination process and makes sure all the power in the relationship ends up with them by the end. To turn your mind to mush as the gaslighting effect takes hold more and more over time. This makes you even easier to control. Many times while easy to disprove it requires some kind of concession of some obvious truth that the narcissist can just doggedly refuse to agree with or remember (‘the intentional forgetting’ tactic and the ‘feigned confusion or ignorance’ tactics are often employed for this). So, in fact, it is not so easy to prove when the narcissist refuses to correctly remember what happened 10 min ago or accept sound logic or reasoning. You will just turn blue in the face trying. Of course, in some cases it is indisputable. A phone log or something. My experience is when this kind of stuff happens it wasn’t their intention typically, although sometimes it was. But in these scenarios, you will typically get some sort of angry ‘invalidating’ tactic, with some good old ‘manufactured rage’ and ‘intimidation’ tactics to ‘put you on the defensive’ and get you more susceptible to further manipulation. Maybe something like: “Get over yourself already” followed up by some ‘blame-shifting’ tactics with some good old ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ tactics, like “Why the hell are you spying on my phone records anyway? What kind of relationship is this? I don’t have any privacy? I don’t know if I can do this anymore! You have major jealousy issues! You need help!” You will walk away as the loser either way. There are resistance tactics that can be used but this is a very difficult tactic to deal with and it is one of their favorites. I won’t get into the counter-tactics here though. The only way to really win in a relationship with a narcissist is to leave them and go no contact. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done *Metaspyhub@gmail. com* ,,
Self-absorbed, self-possessed, complacency, gaslighting used to manipulate people or situations, uses guilt and sympathy to make you feel sorry, questions your self-esteem or plead ignorance, empathy as a weapon, if you feel you've been mistreated,they'll get a reaction for you, if you do something out of character,you'll be labelled a fool🈵
Narcissists usually have low self esteem and confidence. I can relate to that, because I was like that, and I didn't realize just how I played mind games, and no, I do not wanna blame my narcissistic parents for passing those traits to me during an abusive period of our relationship. Now I'm working on forgiving myself, admitting mistakes, taking responsibility and be committed to boosting my self love and confidence, one day at a time. I'm glad someone put a mirror in my face. In a way, I can stop this behaviour sooner than later. Also, this humbling feeling gives me peace.
Quiet Rebel...This testimony of yours is so commendable...It will encourage many ppl, including narcs... Everyone of us, not only narcs, need help or improvements, in some way!...but it often requires awareness, determination, persistent, & a little help from others...Right from the Garden of Eden, we all became "damaged goods" to one degree or the other!...as the Bible says, "all have sinned & come short of the glory of God"(Rom.3:23)... But there's hope!...For permanent help, however, u must call upon Jesus Christ...to wash u clean from all sin, with His sinless blood(Rom.10:9-13)...I can't help preaching this, buddy...To do otherwise, when I know & have experienced this wonder-solution, will be irresponsible & wicked of me... I'm speaking from 50+ years of experience, walking with Jesus, & overcoming so many trials, pitfalls & 'wicked' temptations in life... There's hope for every narc, & any other dysfunction in life...Call on Jesus today!... Blessings... Shalom.
Narcissists also try to make others feel special to gain control; for example, they might compliment or flatter the individual to get them on their side. They then go on to play with difficult emotions like shock, awe, and guilt to maintain control over their victim.👍
Not only that, but my ex boyfriend who lived in another country, when we wanted to meet, asked me to stay at his house, where there was his mum too How could I suspect him? Right? But it turned out that he wasn’t the good guy I thought he was...
@@ChocoParfaitFra Physical or emotional doesn't matter; abuse is abuse and nobody deserves to go through it. I know you said ex in original comment so atleast you should be free of it. I know it can be hard to come out of something like that especially if it lasted a while and I just wanna say it gets easier you got this ❤ i hope you never go through anything like that again
@The Psychotic Slytherin Its good your mom homeschooled you that way you had some distance, if you do end up going back to the same school as your ex all I can recommend is keeping your distance and minimize interactions with them - also I'm sorry you dated a narcissist too I know that can be really taxing mentally
Escaped a 2.5 year abusive relationship with a narcissist. He did every single one of these things. Had me literally thinking I was losing my mind for a long time. Hated when I'd stand my ground and would berate me and would even say that I deserved when I got injured at times. I am so glad I had people out there to help me when it finally ended.
being in a relationship with a narcissist is like having an addiction to a hard drug :/ unrealistically euphoric highs, lows that feel lower than literal hell.. i’ve never been addicted to drugs but it seems like a fairly accurate comparison based on my marriage vs basic knowledge of drug addiction
I cant physically leave my house yet because I’m too young, but as the child of one, please please please seriously for your own sake get out of there as soon as possible- I’m not in a position to move out yet age wise and I’m trying to save up money rn so when I can I move out and get emancipated and cut my narcissistic mother off- I wish you safety and the best in life 💖💖
I don’t believe all of these types of people are doing these things on purpose though. Can this condition be treated with medication or counseling? Or is it just a lifelong type of personality?
@@MoneyManHolmes My understanding of it is: They don't think (or want to admit) that there could ever possibly be anything wrong with them. Therefore, why should they seek help? There's nothing they need help for if there's nothing wrong. If you're having such a hard time dealing with them, it's your fault. The most upset I've seen the one in my life get is when their version of reality is challenged, by my SO and I not buying into their BS or daring to call them out. I imagine it's because for a split second, their reality flickers briefly, forcing them to consider that they could very well be mistaken, and they can't stand that. So, to summarize, meds and therapy could probably help quite a bit, but you'll never get them to go on their own accord, because they don't think they need to, or they don't want to even consider that they might actually need to.
@@henrikhowell4154 please forget the money and get out. It's not worth the money. Your sanity is much more important! I don't know how the situation is in your country but try to find support from funds of the state like care financial support from officials...state councils or else... and tell as much people as possible how you feel and your situation is! Greetings from Europe. Stay strong!
You're lucky she apologized, most don't. They see that as a sign of weakness, when it's actually a sign of strength, maybe control in your case. For whatever reason, it's hard to have a narcissist in your life
@@iratepirate4756 unfortunately she still doesn't see why it's wrong and damaging to say the things she said and continues to hurt me. she doesn't care, she only apologized because i brought the matter up with my therapist and would look bad if she didn't, because she looks perfect to everyone else.
They're self-absorbed, entitled, callous, exploitative, authoritarian, and aggressive. Some are physically abusive. These unempathetic, arrogant narcissists think highly of themselves, but spare no disdain for others.
They do not think highly of themselves at all. It's the complete opposite. They think so lowly of themselves that they create a manufactured illusion of themselves. They are deeply insecure. Therefore the lies and manipulation. So you only see what they want you to see and believe what they want you to believe. Narcissists are only as good as the people that buy into it and let them het away with it. Perfect example, Trump.
@Adora Belle But this doesn't justify them, I've BPD and for a lot of time I see myself in an horrendous manner (also caused by the abuse of my ex) and I've never abused someone.
I dated someone like this for 2 years. It was a total mental hellscape of which I had never known before. Often times, people who deal with this kind of person have dealt with some form of abuse or even a narcissistic parent themselves. Internal healing and reaffirming your own personal boundaries is the best way to prevent dealing with this kind of abuse. Stay golden everyone
My mother is a narcissist. She ticks every box in this video and I've known this about her for a few years now. I went into therapy a few years ago for depression and PTSD and found myself much stronger and tried to have some semblance of a relationship with her. Even with these tools, she was exhausting to deal with and it was taking a toll on my mental health again so have since cut her from my life. I get a lot of backlash for it from people that don't know me or know the full story i.e.: "but she's your mother!" "you can't just cut her out of your life!" I can, I have, and I am better off from it.
I'm in the same boat. It's a hard reality to swallow yet I know I'm not psychologicaly well enough to sustain even a surface level relationship with my mother....I pray for forgiveness and healing for us both 💕
Omg!It seems like I’m reading this text about myself!I have gone through everything you mentioned!I’m still in therapy though.It has been very difficult to move past childhood traumas and everything I expieranced because of my mother.Only way to heal from it all was to cut her out of my life completely and go to therapy to finally move on.I realised my mother will never change! Her evil and toxic behaviour towards me almost caused me to do suicide!!I still to this day don’t understand how could she treat her own child like that!I’’m 31 years old now and I’m still reliving past traumas.I don’t care anymore what people think of me when I tell them about my mother not being in my life.I don’t need to explain myself to people who don’t even know me or my past and what I have been through!I let them think what they want,which is “There’s something wrong with Me”.I need to protect my Mental health and peace and that’s more important than what people think!Thanks for sharing the story!I can so relate to this! ❤️
Kudos to u! My mom is also & I'm only kid.. when her dr said she needed live in aid I got us a place together thinking its my job to step up for her. More I watch/listen to these videos I'm learning this place wasn't my best idea.... She's narcissistic & I'm BPD, got PTSD, anxiety, depression, anger issues. I self medicate & either stay in my room or go in woods to get away 😞
Ahhh gaslighting, I thought I was going crazy and being over dramatic sooo many times because the other person convinced me of this ... honestly my self esteem has taken a hit
My goodness. This is such a spot on description of my most recent relationship. She dumped me a month ago over text. Mean, cruel, cold, lacked empathy, gaslighted me, refused to acknowledge responsibility, gave me the silent treatment, then threw a tantrum when I called her out and stood up for myself. She wasn't like that the whole time, but in our last month together her true colors came out and it looked exactly like this. She broke my heart, but it's getting better with time and counseling. Good luck to anyone else going through this.
I was in a 2 year relo with one and she did everything your ex narc did to you and much more. Things is, she didn't change in the last month with you. She was always like this,but only knew well to hide her true self.
My mom was married to my dad for 12 years. Although he refuses to go and get diagnosed, my whole family suspects he is a narcissist. He left me and my brother with extreme emotional trauma from psychological abuse. My mom left him a few years back and we’re on the road to recovery ❤️
Narcissists think they know it all and consider medical professionals lesser than them. Cover and overt narcissists will never seek help and even if they do when mortified, they'll stop going once they're back to normal, heck they'll even manipulate the psychologists lol
@@soummyatilloo1761 having a parent as a narcissist usually leads to cptsd/npd /bpd/codependency/insecure attachment styles/all sorts of darkness emerges when they don't let the child be the child.
I‘m extremely sorry for anyone who has to go through something like this! Keep reminding yourself that you are great, worth of love and respect and that no one has the right to put you down! I‘m reading so many comments from so many broken but strong people. Keep your heads up everyone ♥️
Just got out of a 3 year relationship with someone who definitely portrays these characteristics. 😱 always lashed out and broke up with me when I didn't do the things he wanted me to do..... definitely got gaslit and he definitely doesn't see his own wrong behavior. You know how many times I ran crying trying to get him back and apologizing for shit I didn't even need to apologize for ?!
I’m glad you got away. I was married to one for 14 years before I filed for divorce ; the divorce took another three years to complete. I had to take her to trial. Of course since we have a daughter together I’ll still have some contact with the X. I’m thankful to God that I made it out alive; I lived in the same house with her for the entire three year divorce.
yep. i'm 18 and trying to move in with my boyfriend. My mom is such a narcisist and plays the victim so much that im not able to leave....Everyone around her believes her and tells me just how much of a bad person i am....I's been like this my whole life and thats one of the reasons i had depression for 3 years....
It really is. Recently I've found out that I've been exposed to gaslighting, narcissism and emotinal abuse. I'm 19, majoring in law (freshman) and my parents are being really disrespectful to me, to my personal space. They're also telling me that I can't leave the house until I get married. I'm really suspicious whether I would be sad or not if I lost them. And of course, I don't know how to deal with this situation. Being with my family is like a torture.
When I tell you I was BLINDED, I was so blind. My ex said I was a cancer to his life, but he was the one feeding from my beautiful soul literally dragging me down to his level. I have never felt more drained & after we broke up he tells me it felt like his best friend died. Like no honey your life support system just finally left you to rot like the piece of shit he was. Sorry I’m ruthless because fuck them.
I worried for a long time that I was a narcissist, but it turns out my ex was just calling me what he is, so that was a relief. While I do have some toxic traits, I'm working on them. Admitting I was wrong feels really ugly, embarrassing, and scary, but... fuck it. If I want to be a good person, I have to tackle the most shameful parts of who I've been as a person.
It's true. Narcs will often project who they are and accompanied with gaslighting, you end up thinking that you're the narcissist. I don't believe narcissists have any introspection, they think their perfect.
Finally had to let go of a narcissist friendship, and damn, it's very liberating. These signs are so telling, but nice people, especially empaths, can have a hard time figuring it all out until it really starts hurting. Hoping everyone out there can use videos like this to help themselves see these signals and help free themselves.
I was best friends with someone exactly like this for 3 years and when a toxic person can no longer control you they will try to control how others see you. She still does this 2 years after the end of our friendship.
My ex-girlfriend was a victim of a sociopathic narcissist in her previous relationship before me, for 7 years she was with him and together they have a daughter. Unfortunately, she did not realize it before and finaly broke up with him but her self-confidence and self-esteem had alredy deteriorated sharply. I tried everything I could to help her but she did not want to expose me to the hard work. She thought I was too good for her and think I would be happier without her, even though we had feelings for each other. I do not agree but I can't and do not want to force her into a relationship that she does not want. After 3 months since we broke up and I still have feelings for her. She wanted me to move on and I tried. But that's easier said than done. I hope she finds happiness again and can move on with her life, not for my sake but for her own and her daugher.
It’s been 23 months for me. I walked away cause I thought of suicide and didn’t want that for my daughter., I still think of him every day. He moved on with his ex a week later. I recently found someone but my heart is closed.. sometimes it opens but to close again. It’s hard to move on.. the trauma and pain are deeply rooted .. very difficult..I wish you the best Jes, really. Like no other I know how hard it is to get them out of your system
@@123river Thank you. It warms my heart to read that from you and i'am sorry for you too. No one should be exposed to that, i wish you all the luck in the world.
@@gilmourishgilmourish6205 I'am sorry and thankfull to hear it from you Gil, I trule are. She said that too, about the heart. Thanks to your daugher you are still alive today to tell your story for people in need. For that you have my deepest respect. I wish you and your daugher the best aswell, and I hope that you to will find your soulmate soon. Becuz you deserve it.
Currently going through this. We want someone in our life, but feel like such a burden. It is not easy, I don’t know if any relationship after an abusive one will be easy. She sounds very mature and caring for you though. Everything works out one day 🤞
@@deanna5853 A friend of mine managed to find love after an abusive relationship. Then she said that it will only be difficult if you think like that and as long as you keep a broken heart, it will continue to be difficult. I know how it feels, that the next relationship will just be hard and stiff. But only if you let it be so because it will not be fair to either you or your new partner if you keep a broken heart. You must let your broken heart heal first before you are willing to give it to someone else. You are not a burden Deanna! Just as you said "Everything works out one day" and I wish you peace, love and happiness.
I have had a relationship with this kind of person for 2+ years long. It was so horrible and traumatic, in my current pov. Back then I was so into him, I didn't realize he actually was taking advantage of me in a bad way. It's been a year since I broke up with him. I'm grateful that I can stand by myself and speak for myself right now. For you all who are in that state, please don't be afraid. Just let them go. Sending my warm hug for you.
I’ve been dealing with this for years. I’ve been shut down from society and told I’m ugly and would never have friends so I need them. They told me I’m so ugly that they are being generous by liking me. I believed it all my life. But I can’t stick up for myself. Now that I know I will put a stop to it. That I promise. 😊
A narcissistic "mother" is among the worst and should never have a child, especially a daughter. The jealousy, envy and competing is real. She sees the daughter as competition for male attention. I wish I had a mentally healthy mother who wasn't emotionally, physically and verbally abusive.
I have a mpther like this and other narcissists in the family, isolation from them is the best solution. But of course don't isolate yourself from society
Yes it's true.also thaught about the same sentence .they shouldn't have the capacity to give birth .the are simply portal to hell Being son of a narsistic mother is also the same .from childhood itself I know it .but I kept hope she would change one day .I kept on giving to her.it was like throwing your soul into a black hole .it never fills .it never returns anything good .and it's also really weird know there are actually words for what I suffered from childhood. few years back I totally realised what she was doing to my life It's already too late for me .now I am 32 and there is enough damage that will stay with me to my end of life
To add on this list... Narcissists also use relationships/friendships as a weapon if things don’t go their way especially if they want something or have a favour w/ someone.
@@marolina9329 When Narcissists lose control over someone or that someone refuses to do their favour, they’ll get defensive - may definitely use relationships as a weapon to reconquer the control & still use them.
For the Smarter cases, they will say what they do wrong in your face then point it at you, so that they will later prevent you from speaking out how they're being (rude/mean/psychotic/you name it), then top it off with "You are being rude/negative", "You're a hypocrite", or "Stop trying to pin stuff on other people".
@@marolina9329 Narcissistic use common friends to get you back in trap. They will try to convince every common person whether friend or family member to get you back.
I believe my best friend may be a narcissist. She's constantly guilt tripping me, dumping all her problems on me, always talking about herself, always plays the victim, she's jealous that I have other friends, and there is so much more sht she's done that I don't have the energy to explain. When I tried to end the friendship (more than once) she's guilt tripped me into staying. I do love her and still like some parts of her, but it's really stressful dealing with her somtimes. Please don't be like me and end a toxic relationship asap, leaving a toxic relationship is easier than putting up with their sht
I had to get away from a narcissistic friend. Love her dearly. But she's toxic af. We can have an even exchange and she'll come out of it a victim...while victimizing others. 😒
Recognize that narcissistic traits can develop from trauma and those who have been in a relationship with one or raised by one can exhibit those same traits
a classic sign is no genuine interest with any depth in you or your life. but you're expected to sit thr for hours on end when the situations reversed.
Wow... eye-opener. For almost a year my best friend has been a narcissist. I ended my friendship with her not long ago and she tried to ruin all my friendships because I was standing my ground. This explains a lot.
Is anyone watching “YOU” on Netflix? www.netflix.com/ca/title/80211991 How do you feel about it? We're thinking of doing an analysis of the series on our newly launched Korean Channel: ua-cam.com/channels/Qh9DSw0L23tNULgxussrYg.html There will be English subtitles! But this is a great way to support our mission in making mental health more accessible in other countries!
Maybe they weren't your real friends in the 1st place. My truly close friends would never chose a guy over me, someone who they've known all their life as apposed to some guy you dated or even married. I've dated a narcissist & my girls always had my back & encouraged me to leave no matter how much he tried to spin or manipulate the situation.
I was friends with a narcissist for 10 years and I had finally had enough of them abusing my friendship. I still struggle with the loss and trauma of said abusive friendship. But since leaving that friendship I've gained two new wonderful friends who truly care about me. ❤
Narcissistic people are extremely charming yet painfully insecure. I lost my identity before, luckily. But it took me about 3 years to get it back to what was normal for me. Because of that narcissistic person I won't ever second guess my thoughts or go against what I feel and see.. So I thank that S.O.B. for waking me up
@@آسياعدنان-ي1ن Hi! Keep your boundaries tight, be a little more assertive. If you don't want to chat with her, then told her you don't have time to her atm. If she keep texting, it means she don't respect your boundaries (especially if she get mad or try to gulit trip you). Then you have to call her out/confront her, because she don't respect your ask for more space. Normal people understand if you need space. Good luck!
@@آسياعدنان-ي1ن A good way to fuck with a narc is by being boring or giving little to no information. The “dull rock” method I think is what they call it. They eventually leave you alone
I’ve been with a narcissist, and it’s a horrible experience, it sucked my soul out. HOWEVER, I do want to say that almost anybody can become a narcissist without realizing it, or should I say they can “take the narcissist role” in a relationship. All it takes is an intense, strong connection, and a very desperate, clingy, co-dependent person. Like for example, if two people fall in love quickly, and not long after that, the person becomes clingy and overly emotional all the time and reliant on the other person, that other person, so intensely in love, would automatically assume the narcissist role, though they wouldn’t intentionally. The person would just get used to the other person relying on them for everything that it becomes automatic. Then they lose respect for the person, and the repeated patterns of love-fighting-emotions-sex, etc...becomes a habitual thing, and neither person can leave. So I’m just saying, you don’t have to actually BE a narcissist to become one in a certain unhealthy relationship. And yes, it’s equally hard for both parties to break it off, because it’s still a trauma bond. Moral of the story: just avoid co-dependent people and don’t be co-dependent yourself.
Nick P, that rings true for me I'm the codependent who recently turned into a narcissistic witch. I'm starting therapy this week as I dont like who I've become, and such ambivalent feelings have undone me. Thank you for your insight as I wasnt clear on how i was going to ask for help from therapist. Arohanui from New Zealand.
I get what you're saying but you're also suggesting in a way that it's okay for the "narcissistic" one to essentially abuse the "co-dependent" one because they somehow made them do it. It just sounds like more crap a narcissist would say. A healthy person would break it off, not stay in it. Only a genuine narcissist would, not someone who was having their patience thinned in a relationship. The narcissist is in a far more powerful position and stands to benefit far more than the co-D. They siphon power being in that role so no, I have no pity for these intentional or unintentional narcissists. You know what I did when someone was too clingy/desperate? I broke it off. Or I prevented the relationship from progressing further. I didn't let it turn into some garbage fire of a relationship where I abuse the other person because I don't respect them or for my own gratification like a s**k f**k.
The thing is, you assume that a co-dependent person is the only one narcissists can abuse, but that's not true, even a healthy person can be targeted in a period of grief. Not to mention, the narcissist will still try with a healthy person as literally, everyone has the capacity to be manipulated. They will try to manipulate anyone they can, and sometimes they think they are manipulating you the way they want, but you're just going about your business (the one I encountered tried to get me to change the way I dress, but I liked the shirt and wasn't going to change my hair unless I wanted to). The thing is, they'll target people who will give them even a little consideration, not just those that give all consideration away. i realized what was going on during the first period of ghosting to lower my self confidence because i thought it was really strange for someone who was interested to suddenly be so mean to me. The person got really cocky and underestimated me
Everything of this did my abusive ex to me.. Thankfully I healed from it with therapy and speaking about it.. I was too long ashamed.. But he's the one who should be ashamed.
I had experienced all these signs! I was badly traumatized and wasn't able to analyze simple things. It was extremely painful and that mental torture made my life a nightmare. Thankfully, I cut all the ties with those monsters and living my life peacefully now✌🏼 Alhumdulillah❤
Most narcissists that I've met in addition to everything stated in this video also were active drug users. Lying, cheating, stealing, deceptive behavior, munipulation and emotional immaturity are all traits of an active drug user/addict.
i’m a recovering addict and im NOT a narcissist. i’ve been in a narcissistic relationship. it’s unfair for you to say this. yes , some pwNPD might be addicts, but not all addicts act like pwNPD.
My ex was a narcissist and when she was gone and was still trying to play games with my head. I blew her mind away when I told her "Your Jedi mind tricks have no effect on me!...Only money." That brought the conversation to a screeching halt. lol
My mother bears many of these tactics and traits of a narcissist. I got away nearly 10 years ago, I’m 23 now and I was 13-14 when I got away, and she still brings me emotional agony any time she’s let in.
YES, SOMETIMES IT TAKES NO - CONTACT UNTIL YOU CAN FINALLY FIND PEACE OF MIND. IT'S AMAZING HOW YOU HOLD ON SOOOO LONG, TRYING, HOPING TO MAKE IT WORK, UNTIL IT FINALLY SMACKS YOU BETWEEN THE EYES' THAT THERE IS NO MAKING IT WORK!!!!A NARCISSIST WILL ALWAYS FIND FAULT WITH ANYTHING YOU SAY,THINK,DO.THEY WILL PUNISH YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR ONE DAMNED EXCUSE OR ANOTHER.IT'S WHEN THEY FINALLY GO AFTER WHAT YOU LOVE THAT WILL BE THE BREAKING POINT FOR THE NON- NARCISSIST!!!! JUST BE PREPARED THAT THEY ARE 9/10 TRASHING YOU TO YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY, FRIENDS', IF UR NARCISSIST INTWINED THEMSELVES'IN A LOT OF YOUR FRIENDSHIPS', THEY COULD TELL UR FRIENDS' HOW WORRIED THEY ARE ABOUT YOU & HAVE THEIR LITTLE WAYS'OF TAKING SOMETHING SAID IN INNOCENCE & TURNING & TWISTING IT INTO SOME B.S. IT NEVER WAS!!!! UNFORTUNATELY,THEY DON'T CHANGE -- EVER!!!!SO, IT'S UP TO YOU HOW MUCH YOU CAN EMOTIONALLY,MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY & SPIRITUALLY TAKE, JUST TALKING ON THE PHONE WITH THEM CAN BE ABSOLUTELY DRAINING!!!!LIKE THEY JUST WANT TO SEE THE BAD IN EVERYTHING - NO MATTER WHAT YOU MIGHT TRY TO SAY OR THINK OF TO GIVE THEM HOPE, NOPE-- THEY WILL SUCK ALL OF YOUR POSITIVITY LIKE A VAMPIRE SUCKS YOUR LIFE- SUSTAINING BLOOD RIGHT FROM YOUR VEINS'!!!!BY THE TIME YOU ARE OFF THE PHONE, YOU FEEL EMOTIONALLY DEPLETED & BEYOND HOPELESS!!!!YOU MIGHT HAVE TO CHOOSE WHETHER TO CUT TIES WITH ALL OF UR FAMILY IF THEY ARE UNAWARE OF THE SITUATION OTHERWISE SEEING THE NARC AT FAMILY PARTIES' COULD POTENTIALLY SET THE NARC OFF, BUT HAVING IT APPEAR AS YOUR FAULT THE NARC WILL TELL UMPTEEN LIES ABOUT YOU TO YOUR FAMILY & THEY WILL THINK YOU ARE SH*T-- HAVING NEVER HEARD YOUR SIDE, BECUZ YOU NEVER TRASHED THE NARC., TOU JUST KEPT QUIET.IT'S SAD WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO NO - CONTACT,BUT SOMETIMES IT IS VERY, VERY NECESSARY!!!!MANY PRAYERSNLUV 👼👼✝️✝️❤️🔥❤️🔥🙏🙏🌹🕊️🌹🌹🌹💝💝💃💃🔥🔥
My mother is 100% narcissist. I had mental problems, because of that too. I am recovering. I am so glad that you expose the truth and spread awareness about this and other problems.
Mine too. Because of her I struggle with panick attacks and agoraphobia. I still live with her and everyone tells me i should leave to get better but she has made me feel weak and helpless and I'm afraid I won't make it on my own.
@@korinaaaaaa1 wow same here she has destroyed my life & happiness i am 36yrs old still living w/ her bcus she won’t let me leave. She doesn’t want to be alone, she torments me every single day ! But enuff is enuff idc where ill end up at this point i have to get away from her before she ends up hurting me or ill end up hurting her. I dnt want to go to jail i have a 9yr old to take care of. We have to get out of that mindset of feeling like we’re not going to make it & go for it or else it’s going to get worse.🥺♥️
THE NARCISSISTS ARE SICK MENTALLY BECAYSE THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND THEMSELFS WHO ARE PROJECTIONS IN ITHERS BUT ALWAYS UNDERSTANTS THEIR FAKE ADICTIVE LOVE TO YOU WHO IS A AFRAID OF THEIR YOURSELF IN YOU...😔😔😔😔😔
Man #4 really hit home for me. Exactly what happened. I said I was sorry for everything, anything, and found myself begging for him back. It was a horrible cycle, I know I did nothing wrong, and yet I was still apologizing through tears
Just had a fallout with a best friend of 10+ years who I grew up with. Although this was really painful, realizing that their treatment towards me was due to narcissism has been so healing. Even though my kindness and empathy was taken advantage of by them and manipuated, I now know how I deserve to be treated and will be sure to give my kindess and empathy to those who will appreciate it and not use it against me.
Every time I called them out for their crap, they would say I was delusional and then essentially tell me I was insane and continuously beat me down. At first, I believed it, because they had told me that I don't actually know who I am and that only they did and it had been pounded into my head so many times that I was forced to believe that too. Then I found psych2go, and I realised they werent the victim of me, but that I was the victim of them. I'm so much better now, so thank you so much for everything
This is a great start to identifying an issue and learning how to deal with it or avoid the power struggle. Because that's what it often becomes. A power struggle, and knowing how to recognise the signs of manipulation are important. Then you can regain control and avoid being sucked into situations where you are being taken advantage of. Also realising that you deserve better and that you can't always help someone break free of their negative habits is important for self care.
Am a narcissists, but it is Narcissistic Personality Disorder, many of us are very insecure about ourselves, it can depend on how u were raised and the way you were treated, I recently found out am a narcissist when I tried to manipulate my friend by giving him the silent treatment over a small criticism and it was honest and factual, I tried to deny I have NPD but i just accepted am one and now am trying to change but it is not easy, and one thing that I found is the root cause of Narcissism is that I don't have empathy, am trying to have empathy, truth be told, no empathy at all, I just want people to feel sorry for me... I was really sad when my friend was not entertaining my silent treatment and I just felt like I missed him and I felt very bad because he I missed him not because I felt bad for the way I treated him am trying to have empathy by understanding other people but its really hard, the truth is that you cannot change them but they have to realise it by themselves and that's the hardest part, I also tried to deny it but when I saw all the symptoms I said yep that's me and am going for therapy.
Emotional trauma. Yes. Gaslighting abuse can last for years especially if the abuser denies the way they treated others. Lies. Yes. Lies. Thats the worst thing that makes the victim look even more crazy, or that we have the problematic behaviour
Yes indeed, they make you look crazy, while they themselfs are... and you're left with the pain and trauma. I do not understand how one can be so unfair.
This explains my ex. He made me questions my own emotions and my own habits and words. After every argument, I always believed that I was the one at fault and he wouldn't continue to tear me down emotionally. After we broke up I finally felt freer than I was before so I'm glad I got out of that.
This sounds a lot like my ex. I'm with someone who treats me with a lot more respect and dignity now but the lasting wounds her emotional and physical abuse left still hurt me and it's taking time to heal. But from the get go, I think I learned from that and make more of an effort to surround myself with people who treat me and others with the same kind of compassion and genuine kindness.
I think abusive relationships can be harder for men because girls can easily play the victim. Abused men get ignored by both men and women. I’m sorry for what you went through, but you were strong to walk away.
@@thesphinxthinks8291 Its not. Men are stronger then women, and we don't have a chance to get away without the fear of being hurt. For us, its harder to escape. And to debunk your thing about 'its easier to play victim'- You guys might not know this but us GorLS have very strong girl code. If you play victim, There goes all your friends -3-"" Not saying that women being abusive never happens, I just think its unfair to say one sex has it worse then the other.
@@Le111f That's such an unfair way to generalize men or women. No one gender is stronger than the other. Everything you described is exactly what I, a man, went through. I don't care about girl code or how "you girls" are. Gender doesn't matter. An abusive person is an abusive person. Same as how a victim is a victim. I kept my mouth shut because she went ahead and told her version of events to everyone else and a majority of them ate it up. What that other person was saying was that you hear a lot of girls being antagonized and abused by male partners a lot more than the other way around. So when I tell people my ex-girlfriend emotionally and physically abused me, they could say I have to "man up" and not be weak. She gave a lot of people I knew baseless claims and played the victim and they bought that. Forgive me if this all sounds harsh to you, I'm sorry if this makes you wanna call me names or insult me or what ever, but I found what you said to be hurtful. Men and women are neither stronger nor weaker than each other, and they're both just as capable as being toxic partners.... If I hit my ex and insulted her the way she did to me... Do you have any idea how much trouble I would be in...? She knew I wouldn't hit her back either. And I think she's a coward.... I respect your opinion when you say one sex doesn't have it worse than the other. But I disagree and believe it depends on what the circumstances are. Could you also please clarify what you mean? You say no gender has it worse than the other but your wording makes it sound like men have it all easier. Again, it's a matter of perspective.
for anyone going through this situation: it is really difficult, but it is a lesson to teach us that we must love ourselves so much that we do not want to protect ourselves but want to live freely without being on the defensive. as long as we think we are protecting ourselves we are giving importance to the narcissist in question by believing that we are victims but we are not! train yourself to love yourself so much that you think your energy is pure as opposed to theirs and stay in your truth! if you are authentic and genuine they will not know how to access you because they are not able to be the first and so in addition to unmasking them you increase the respect for yourself you are strong, I send you so much love. only those who go through these situations know what all this means, so put your mental health first and reinforce your boundaries without feeling guilty because you deserve the best. You can really leave from this shit, even it’s in your family.
i wanna say thank you to this channel for helping me get out of a toxic relationship. i thought what i felt was normal but because of the channel I realized it wasn’t. now I’m in a happy stable relationship and living my life to the fullest
The scariest thing is if you are a kind hearted.. you are afraid they are going to commit dead cause you left them or reject them.cause it’s hard for them to understand that “their is always fish in the sea”
You captured my feelings. My dad has narcisstic traits. Me and my mom are thinking about moving out so I can escape him, but I've been hesitant. Through all this hate and sorrow, I still fear he would die alone or that I would be responsible for someone else's pain. But I don't have the energy to care about others that much when I too am hurting. He's an adult, he can cook food, take care of dishes and hopefully do laundry. I'm only a teenager. I have my whole life ahead of me. I can't waste time on an old fool who will never change. Call me selfish if you must... I just want to stand a chance in this unforgiving, cruel world. You made your choice. Now I'll make mine.
as someone who's grown up with a narcissistic mother: if you are in a relationship and recognice this behavior, do not try to change them. You can't. You should leave for your own safety.
Yup, these were all the tactics my abusive narc mother used. My mental health was at it's absolute lowest when she had me convinced that she loved me deeply and was doing everything she could to care for me despite all the other stress and responsibilities in her life, but I was making it more difficult for her. 4 and a half years no contact now. My personality is practically unrecognizable from the kid I used to be because I'm absolutely thriving now.
Although, I am not quite sure whether the person in mind is narcissistic or maybe just a plain entitled person. But, since I did not have any energy nor space left to sympathize them. I took my respect & glance, never looking back. Even when I tried to explain, I want to have healthy boundaries, they told me I have mental sickness. I laughed in my mind, I mean... who would not have mental sickness being manipulated out of your sympathy. Since then, even though sometimes I feel bad for them, I choose my liberation. I ran out of patience, chance, space for them, cause I don't want to be in the same position ever again.
Hard to say. Mine wanted space and independence but wanted to stay together. There were no boundaries or communication so it became a complex guessing game. I feel she was a rare combination of avoidant and narcissistic. I feel bad for her.
The only way for me to save myself from this narc is to walk away from this person, and going no contact at all... I wish i had some courage to walk away earlier... But no regret, better late than never
It is the only way. It was a struggle trying to break up with my ex, because talking would go in circles. He didn’t take no for an answer, so I cut him off entirely. I felt horrible at first because it felt dishonorable, but I finally realized it was for the best. Especially since he kept harassing me for months after, using different numbers to call and making fake accounts. And yet he always played the victim... saying I wronged him. Right.
I think you missed one very important point, that is if you're in a relationship with a narcissist doesn't matter whatever the relation is, friend or more you're the "ONLY ONE "who's giving and they will suck the very life out of you, they wont give you ANYTHING, not even acknowledge your efforts or give you any emotional support and you'll be completely empty and bankrupted.
@M e Exactly I'm an empath amd I tried to heal my narc but what happened.. I lost my selfrespect and he said that he would only treat me better when I get rich and a house and business, as those are his "standards" and then when I said that I would heal him then he said that he doesn't need healing and that I'm immature and need to "grow" as per him also then we had a fight and he blocked me and i was so happy to finally let go but today this urge to talk to him has come back and its killing me!!!
Yes, I’ve met someone like this. My sense of sanity had been trampled and my self-esteem kept taking blows that always sent me back to him. I feel like he’s in every part of my life; it’s driving me crazy but being driven crazy will only make my mind hazy and I need all my wits about me to survive. Survive what? Not being drawn back in. Keeping my boundaries.
I had a close friend who was like this. Unfortunately I didn’t know she was a narcissist, and I didn’t know the red flags because I had low self-esteem and didn’t have a lot of world experience. She used to lie on many occasions even if there were consequences and then fain ignorance and be sorry when she’s caught. I only distanced myself because I was starting to be very uncomfortable and even get anxiety. It’s only after many years I know the signs. Trust your gut folks. If something doesn’t feel right, get your self some distance
I think it's a little deeper than this. You make it seem like the narcissist is doing this knowingly or of some pre-planned agenda. It's a psychological condition, they often don't know they are doing this because they have no concept of your feelings or perspective. It's like sweeping leaves on a windy day to get a person like this to understand fully.
You are right. They don't know they are ill, they live in the confidence that others are wrong, not them. They plan nothing. That's the reason why narcs are so difficult to cure.
I’ve actually had interactions with a few clinically diagnosed narcissists and they do absolutely know exactly what they are doing. The problem isn’t whether or not they know exactly what they’re doing, the problem is that for them this behavior is normal, so for them they don’t feel like they are sick. It’s not that they don’t know that they’re manipulating you, it isn’t that they don’t know exactly how their manipulations affect you.
@@chyowens I totally agree! They 100 % know what they are doing! He told me many many many times that he wanted to care but he just didn't! Bone chilling words!! Cuts like a knife!
The concept that someone can be that ignorant to others feelings is so foreign to me because I’m constantly making sure I’m being mindful of others and try to be aware of how the people around me are feeling. It’s hard to understand the narcissistic thought process.
Traits of my covert narcissist ex: (an introvert narc) - degrades me (always telling me the reason im not getting better is because im not doing enough/not enough) - sad boi manipulative - doesnt have good relationship with family - didnt introduced me to parents rightfully (like no connection) - buys me gifts then uses them against me ("after all the things i bought you, youre gonna act that way?!") - threatens me to leave his place and throws away my stuff when in rage (or just mad at me for something I did) - says he loves me but doesnt make me feel safe (sudden rage, shouting, etc) - tantrums (when in rage, or doesnt get what he wants) - asking for sex in inappropriate times and days. (in the middle of the night/tired) - gets extremely jealous with other guys (even though I dont talk to them) - sneaks on my phone when im asleep - gets irritated when I ask for a favor (like walking me home) - doesnt want me to wear clothes that are too revealing / doesnt want me to wear make up so other guys wont want me or look at me (very insecure). - doesnt trust me with his money (paranoid that i might steal from him) - has very few friends and tells that some people are hard to be with. - calls me names when angry (c*nt, b*tch, ho*ker) - has a very quiet and timid personality
It's important to stress that this behaviour is the work of a malignant narcissist. Regular people with high narcissistic tendencies tend to use these more as a defence mechanism when backed into a corner but people with npd do this for fun or purely out of spite
My first boyfriend was a narcissist. This information would have been extremely helpful a few months ago. I'm really thankful for your work here on UA-cam and especially thank you for this video, I hope it can help somebody to fall in the same trap I fell in. 💕
Me: Am I a narcissist? I kinda feel concerned about this, but I tell myself: I'm just overthinking. Me: But what if I think I'm not a narcissist and that makes me a narcissist?! Also Me: Dude, you're overthinking! If you think you're a narcissist then you're not! Me: Am I a narcissist? Others: Your not. Me: .....ok....but I usually play the victim! Others: at least your aware. Me: I keep looking at the mirror! Others: chillax Me: Thanks One guy: You have no idea what a narcissist is, do you? Me: umm... Guy: Edgy Teenager
Have you met someone like this?
Yes 😔
Yes but I want to know if people can be circumstantially narcissistic? Like given the position they uphold, will they will tend to gravitate towards narcissistic values to defend that position.
Because if narcissism is a trait, I want to know if it is inherited or as a result of preserving their beliefs and values.
Yes and its my mom
Yes my so called friend
My mom...
A narcissist tries to destroy your life with lies, because theirs can be destroyed with the truth
Can't agree more
And the scary part...it can be anyone, family included. No exceptions
@Mallory Moore run away dear before the damage become worse...
Run for u'r life... They are empty... They will suck the life out of you.
Yep
Mahatma Gandhi moment
If you are with a narcissist you are already alone, don't be afraid to leave.
This.
Omg , im 17 and i wanna move out but im so scared to be “alone”
but the question is how do you leave? I need like a whole team of accountability partners
Harsh truth but very important
You need a therapist!. Write down your thougts in a diary and hide it from the narc or people they controll. 1: sett firm boundarys 2: if that dont work then simply ghost them, you dont need to explain youself. 3: you have a right to your own mental health, this is nothing to « ask for». 4: dont listen to their lies and « storys». 5: read up on co dependency disorder asap!
If you suspect you're with a narssasist, get out quickly and quietly, do not try to change them.
Good luck.
Can’t escape my mother.
@@lilyanrs Gray Rocking is a good method to protect yourself when you can not or are not ready to leave. Dr Ramani has many wonderful resources when it comes to Narcissistic relationships and Narcissistic Parents. Remember you are not alone, I hope this helps a little
@@lilyanrs lmaooo same how do I escape from my father
@@lilyanrs Are you trying to escape Togami?
Wait how are you guys parents to you are they physically or emotionally abuse either way stay strong.
My biggest advice for anyone dealing with a narcissist. Assume EVERYTHING they say is a lie. Until they can actually prove it. Remember, they love control.
This comment hurt me so much….
But it’s the truth. My now ex who is the father of my child is a narcissist.. I left hun just two days ago and it hurts when you genuinely love them.. but I told him I can’t do it anymore and for him to get better for his baby and himself. I’m trying not to go back even though I want too. But I’m 7 months pregnant and anything can trigger me to go into labor, and his outburst are too much too Handle. It’s best he and I split till he does prove it to me.
@@theegirlyana put yourself & your babies first! These narcissist abusive "boys" will not change unless they want to, from the inside. I've been stuck in a nightmare of a "relationship " for 2yrs & in planning my leaving. Doesn't matter how many apologies, they keep hurting you. NARCISSIST PPL CAN NOT HAVE CHILDREN. THEY ARE ABUSIVE IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. kids need protection & much love so they don't grow up with the parents habits or feeling bad about who they are, etc. Trauma is real. I can't imagine a narcissist who has a "bad day", anything pisses them off, & you add innocent kids into the picture... not good. Please be careful. It's not worth going back because these ppl don't even REALIZE they have a problem. The hurt will continue or get worse. I "believed"the first 50 million apologies. Not worth it. So much manipulation its disgusting in a human. They are not capable of showing empathy. So they can't put themselves in others ppl shoes cuz it's all about "them". So what would happen when the kids have a sad day at school or wutever, they fall from their bike & maybe cry? A narcissist will not show empathy or carrying. Its too much work to pretend to be a decent human being. Yes it's sad we actually loved these ppl. But you have to love yourself FIRST, so you can be in the right mind to be awesome for the little ones. Your mental health is important. You are important. You kids are important. You matter. Everyone else can go kick rocks.
@@theegirlyana omg i kno it hurt me alot too :*( but maybe its something we needed to hear hun right?
@@theegirlyana leave him for the sake of yourself and your child. growing up without a "father" is much better than having a narcissistic, self absorbed parent. your child won't have a happy childhood with a parent who can't even their child well. i know you love him, but staying will only make things worse. this relationship will only grow more and more toxic, and it won't be good for you or your child. put you and your child first, these toxic people don't deserve you, because you matter a lot and deserve a partner who's loving, supportive, understanding, caring and unselfish. also, it's been two months, im not sure if you've given birth yet but if you have, i wish you and your baby the best of luck. stay safe and happy, don't make choices you'll come to regret :))
“Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.”💫
i needed this quote
o
Facts
I'm afraid of narcissists and wish I would never have anything to do with them anymore
Facts
They don't leave you in peace. They leave you in pieces.
Good quote!
10,000Lakes B.C. Hi I left him first 17 years ago.....then weakened had my third daughter with him....so forever in his life...I let him put me off my dinner last night....as he kept messaging my girl,asking why he can not visit today....we busy wasn't good enough...it's my Baby Brothers 30th today,we will all be Zooming,having a party and he so isn't invited.....so no peace your right...I so hope you can put the pieces back together,very soon sweetheart....Rebekah Mary 💜🌎🕊🇬🇧
Psych2Go Hey,thank you so very much,think your wonderful,found you last night....your voice is lovely and you have already helped a lot....wishing you all the very best Rebekah Mary 💜🌳🌸
Selena Gomez agrees
That's what happened to me and I'm still hurting remembering it after a year I unfriended him :c
Guys, here's an advice from an actual narcissist: tell them what you think of them. The problem with many narcissists is that we don't recognise that we are actually wrong, we genuenly believe that everything we do is justified. It took a heated argument and cutting ties with all my friends to realise there was something wrong with me and not them
You describe it very well. Im now recognising my narcism and i feel bad about it. But its all comes with communications. I hope we can be stronger then ever before…hope
On the other hand, some too deep in the trench will dismiss or misuse that information and just keep going. Even if you tell someone what you think of them or how they hurt you, in the end any change comes from within. There's no telling what's the right solution to every situation.
u r not a true narcissist,narcissist doesn't listen,they r ALWAYS right,and i mean ALWAYS,there's not a single time they will think back and realize they did wrong,not even once.They will keep telling u it's ur fault even the fault is theirs,and if u don agree with them,they will tell u r a narcissist and never listen to ppl.
I would always call my ex out on her bullshit when she would be manipulative or devaluing me. She would turn around and do the silent treatment to me.
I told her how I felt about everything and she tried to turn everything around on me lol. Insane the level they go to try and control you.
I have autism and its really hard to know if some of the traits I have are just because of that or if Im a narcissist as well
SUMMARY🌱
1. Gaslighting
2. Projection
3. Guilt tripping
4. Silent treatment
5. Feigned ignorance
6. Playing the victim
7. Throwing tantrums
Your welcome🥰
I think so more than 3
I left my narc husband 4 months ago I was married 33 years I’m in counselling now I’m working on my healing
Sound like POUTUS Agolf Twitler.
@@triplekids3 Wow. How are you doing?
Gaslighting is so evil, but sadly it really is very common in people with Narcissism. The hardest part is to accept that someone you trusted intentionally tried to drive you crazy 😓
I know exactly what you mean ...
I learned that from my first serious relationship. He seriously thought that I would play his cowardly games... In a twisted sense, I have that ex to thank, for teaching me first-hand what to look for.
But more importantly, I have myself to thank for getting out, as well as my loved ones for supporting me through it.
My step dad does that. I feel insane
@@marsp5636 I'm so sorry... It's awful, what things some people will pull to get their way.
Gaslighting is so stupid. If they are treating you bad for a mistake you supposedly made they just exposed themselves. You don’t even need to know gaslighting to know if they treat you bad for a mistake more than once I would just leave without a second thought. It’s very hard for me to trust someone so I guess that’s why I find the tricks of a narcissist really dumb.
I used to be really narcissistic and I'm still learning better ways to manage my emotions so I won't put my loved ones through that. It took me time to accept that I was the toxic one and when I did, I was able to start on the journey to cultivating a healthy relationship with myself and others. And as much as I'm ashamed of what I was, I use it to motivate myself to keep getting better and to treat others with respect and kindness.
I love this!
@@Goldstar2110 at least you acknowledge so that’s not as bad
I'm proud of you this ❤️
Good for you !!
I feel that I’m probably a narcissist and I don’t want to be.
“There is simply no winning with a narcissist. He will treat you so horribly that you will become withdrawn and depressed and then he will turn around and say, ‘You’re no fun anymore, you’re always so depressed. I need to be with someone more positive.’” - Susan Williams
I'm going through that right now
Oh my God, yes mine said this, he got alot of money & he ran solid for a year, leaving me out of everything then I became quiet & depressed , He wanted someone younger & more fun*
So true...THEY REALLY DON T UNDERSTAND REALITY IN FEELINGS...
@@ducky1115 me 2now
Ouch this stings. Got told I was cold and unrecognisable only the other day... After she hit me and railed on me uncontrollably for a solid hour without apologising, then tried to force me to kiss her, then started wailing uncontrollably that I made her feel like shit and I'm a horrible person. All because I dared query why she was looking at her ex boyfriends Instagram when I got back in bed. Tell me I'm crazy someone?!
They’re very good at mirroring you too in the initial love bombing stage to make it seem like they’re your soulmate. It’s mind boggling
Ikr? Seems common everywhere.
Yes
Exactlyyy!!!!
YES! My ex husband was EVERYTHING I needed in a man. Kept that up for maybe 2 years but the narcissism was starting to show after a year. I remember after losing our daughter in childbirth I really just wanted to leave but I was suicidal and he went back to being that so very magnetic personality that I stayed.
After 2 years I remember telling him “ the kids ( his 2 and my 2) and I feel like we’re walking on eggshells with you.” And with those times he always made everything my fault. He never hit me. But he didn’t need to. I felt like shit the whole marriage. I stayed 16 years.
I so fear getting into another relationship because of that man. 8 years single and I haven’t had even one relationship.
@@DeetsterB 😢 I'm sorry
Summary:
1. Gaslighting (makes victim questions themselves) 1:17
2. Projection (dumps pain and problems on the victim) 2:11
3. Guilt tripping (makes victim feels sorry for you) 2:42
4. Silent treatment (not talking to
victim) 3:08
5. Feigned ignorance (plays dumb so you forgive them) 3:41
6. Playing the victim (makes you feel bad for them) 4:17
7. Throwing tantrums (uses anger to control you) 5:04
If you are a victim of narcissism, I hope you can use this video to learn. Good luck and have a wonderful day in quarantine 🖤
Thanks for putting this together!
👁️👄👁️
Aight. Why my mother uses all the mind games?
Oh.
👁👄👁
(ㆁωㆁ)
My husband of 21 years does all of this. I finally woke up a year and a half ago and realized how evil his actions are. I left 10 months ago and will never go back. Please leave if you can!!
and i applaud you for that, you are strong!!
Did you have children? How did they take it?
You just gave me hope coz it's been 20years also but realised he s nojt gonna change and he also says it... But I'm so angry I need to make ihim feel what I felt all these years, I'm suffering from fibromyalgia, stress, depression, anxiety, everything because if him I have gained weight im always sick he took my youthful years I can't just leave him he need to taste his own medicine.
@@munterboy9298 Yes I have a daughter and she was sixteen when we left. I took her and left. She saw how he would treat me and she hated it.She saw all the abuse.She's the one that encouraged me to go. Her father has never been close to her. He was never active in her life even though they lived under the same roof! He's never embraced her or hugged her. He's truly a selfish you know what. Now we are both so much happier.
@@jabunxumalo3750 The best revenge is to leave his ass. Do not look back just go. Do not have any contact whatsoever. This will drive the narcissist crazy
For me, the covert narcissist comes across as a people pleaser. They like to be in the spotlight to get the validation that they crave for, as other narcissists but at the same time, they pretend to be humble, simple, generous, over giving. The covert narcissist will take time to build a relationship/friendship with you. During this period, they will show their admiration and their devotion by helping you with everything that is you need. They will try to convince you that you are soulmates and that they understand you deeply. At the same time, you will see them being overly altruistic, maybe helping society by engaging in charities, activism. They feed the poor, take care of the homeless. All this makes you think how lucky you are for having met such a beautiful soul. You want to be by their side for ever. However, soon you notice how much they enjoy being invited in galas to talk about their achievements. But they don’t admit that. They still play the humble guy who doesn’t want all this. Who is beyond money, beyond fame and recognition, who wants to share the floor with other people. But their acts don’t match their words. You come to realise that this selfless soul is actually doing whatever it takes to be in the centre of attention. When you do something together be it at work or at home, they want to control everything about it. They just exerce their control in a more polite and implicit way, making you believe that your voice was heard whereas in reality you did what they wanted you to do. Covert narcissists have a smooth way of leading you on. They don’t shout, they don’t give orders. They are master actors. They convince you that you are together in this. What makes them a narcissist is that when the time comes for them to use you in order to draw certain benefits, they will do it without a second thought and you are not going to believe in your eyes. And when you stand up for yourself and raise your voice against them calling them for their phony identity, then you will see their rage for the first time and the mask will fall. Covert narcissists manipulate less with rage/exhibiting superiority and more with people pleasing behaviour/playing the eternal victim. They are not aggressive as overt narcissists. They are more cunning. What they both have in common is self-centered ness and lack of empathy. In the case of coverts, it will take you longer to find out. They knew what they wanted to get out of you from the beginning. They created a whole theatre play to fool you about who they are and their true motives. You will trust them with all your heart but when the time comes for them to prove their loyalty by choosing your bond over their personal gain, they will choose the latter with no remorse, without even taking any responsibility. Unlike the overt narcissist, they will have an eloquent excuse for doing so, rationalizing why they had to f@ck you over. They will pretend to be sorry about it because this is something that matches the image of modesty that they want to project but in reality they are not sorry at all. You will see them partying with your own money when they said they didn’t have enough to pay you back. You will see them being unfair and untrustworthy to other people as well. When the mask of the victim will fall, you will see the cruel smile of a perpetrator who managed to get what they want without deserving it. If you decide to unmask them run for your life. Moreover, If you need to find out about a cheating narcissist; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
Thank you, thank you so much for this. I have truly been thinking I was losing my mind for years but this is unsettlingly accurate. And freeing.
As someone who's a victim of fawning, I just don't want to be hurt bruh 😭
Omfg this is my boyfriend down to the morsel 😯
I just unmasked one and I’m a little worried he’ll come for revenge. What are some things to expect?
@@tjzofficial1 Break up. Save yourself.
I definitely dated one😂 I used to be so confused on how a person could have such a victim mentality and be so manipulative.
instagram.com/p/CMZW6a4FHZ5/ ua-cam.com/video/fpeMCEyQ698/v-deo.html
Sameee happend to me recently
I meet one untill so far. Keep an eye on him what's he will doing ?
He as a victim from sexciul about when he was 15 by a workers of God and he gets mantal problem,
After that no one believes in him, he never tells again.
The worst part is blaming your OWN SELF and being drifted away from reality, its like being in a ' mirage of a maze'.
This is exactly how I feel like I am in a maze and don't know how to get out
One of the narcissists' favorites: Intermittent reinforcement, the unpredictable ever-changing cycle of mean-sweet, push-pull, hot-cold ... makes the victim totally confused and addicted (dopamine rushes) to boot.
Do not give these toxic people the benefit of the doubt. Walk away as quickly as possible!
I have experienced all these idk why im still here and keep responding his texts and calls...i will beg God this 12 when it turns 2021 to help me get rid of him
@@MyOwnquantumBubble If you truly love him enough and want him to change send him this video. It may help him realize his behavior.
@@ZOne_26 do not ever do this . The moment you call out the narcissist , the abuse escalates . Us pointing out to a narcissist that they have an inherent problem , greatly greatly offends them and puts us in danger. Dr. Ramani has a great video on this on UA-cam, search it up.
SO TRUE 😂 it really shows!!!
yes good cop bad cop all in òne
There are lists of abusive acts by narcissists. I would like to add one. It is "narcissist over ride". That's when a narcissist constantly bumps you out of a conversation and over rides everything you have to say. They will verbally pound you, often with aggressive body language, should you have something to say, with their point of view until you just give up. Best thing to do is to leave at that moment. Walk to another room, etc. Or, if possible, tell this person to stop over riding you when you talk. Of course, they will then blame it on you, but you'll have made at least some kind of stand. Professionals may have other ways to handle this insulting behavior. Thank you.
so true
Damn, all the time
100%
My brother, sweet lord. He's incapable of listening to anything that doesn't come out of his own mouth.
Great add. I’ve experienced this as well
I just realized I’ve been in a 8 year relationship full of Narcissistically events. This video just confirmed my heart and all the signs were true. Now it’s time for me to leave her even though my heart hurts. Please send me prayers 🙏
Smh
I know I’m 6 months late but I pray everything went well for you Vanessa
I hope you're okay !
@@none-hg9ti I hope so too
Been there girl. Be strong.
It's almost impossible to protect yourself when blinded by love
if indeed it is 'love', or a need to feel loved. They can love bomb you so easily and if we are needy (brought up without love) we are very easy bait. Best to work on self-love etc and self-worth, don't ignore red 🚩flags, and have healthy boundaries.
So if someone is going in to quick and it feels not right, listen to your own inner voice (i have been burnt many times and learnt finally to love myself at the age of 53) 💗🙏🌸am 54 now
@@dustersinternational221 that's so true... thankyou 🙏
Time to wake up because you can do it! ❤️❤️❤️
It's not love fam. Nor they love you because they see love and any vulnerability as a weak individual.
And what you think love is your own denial to letting that toxic person go because you might feel they are what your looking for but in fact you are fighting your truth of that person and it ends bad.
I have been there fam.
Truth bomb of the day.
I love how narcissists are always portrayed as men. There are far more female narcissists out there than you’d ever guess.
Yep I married one and we sleep in different rooms. Funny true thing is I didn't actually think about narcissism until Trump came to power in 2016.
@@naylisyazwina6836 No disrespect to you but anyone can make statistics work for them. There is no way of accurately correlate NPD numbers. For example all the comments on this video were not in those statistics you mentioned. My wife is not in those statistics :)
@@punanny123 the same can be said for people with depression or other disorders
That is because it takes much more for a woman to get diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, because people expect women to have a lot of these traits. You must have it pretty severe to get diagnosed as a woman, not so much if you're a man.
It's hard to tell, some people are just in the narcissistic spectrum, they don't have full blown Narcissistic personality disorder. And as we know, most narcissists think, there is nothing wrong with them, they walk around without diagnose and get no treatment..
Every single manipulation tactic all but implies the use of the lying tactic and the gaslighting tactic. I actually dislike it a little calling out gaslighting as a manipulation tactic as it's actually an effect. All manipulation tactics will contribute to it by nature of what manipulation is. Some tactics however certainly take the gaslighting effect to a whole different level. Blatant lies that are so bad they insult your intelligence is one of them. That kind of shit will make you feel like you are in the twilight zone after a while. Here are some of the reasons they do this: To test their control. To feel superior and/or entertainment. This proves to themselves how much control they have over you. In the end, you will give up and you will not leave (trauma bonded). In the process of getting to the giving up stage, you will go through some pretty nasty emotional states ending in massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to swallow all of that. Cognitive dissonance is a trauma defense mechanism where you essentially lie to yourself in various ways so that you can bring back some semblance of equilibrium to the insanity you find yourself unable to escape from. As part of the ‘backing you into an emotional corner’ tactic. This is a tactic where you are manipulated into being emotionally unstable inevitably leading to you losing your shit. This gives the narcissist a big dopamine burst, they feel powerful and superior having so deftly controlled you and manipulated into this emotional state. To finish the little game they play, they make sure to point out how unhinged and unstable you are and suggest that perhaps you need help or medication. Of course, you will internalize all that shame and guilt and the million other raging emotions they have created and swallow all that essentially allowing them to scapegoat their blame and accountability onto you. Bring on some more cognitive dissonance and gaslighting effects.
To condition you to expect less respect, and ultimately put up with more abuse. You will tire of the inevitable circular argument trying to convince the narcissist of the blatantly obvious lie and eventually find yourself challenging them less and less as you subconsciously accept the fact that if you do it will just make your life and emotional state more miserable and you will be denied the satisfaction of any kind of ‘win’ even if it is easy to disprove. This is part of the domination process and makes sure all the power in the relationship ends up with them by the end. To turn your mind to mush as the gaslighting effect takes hold more and more over time. This makes you even easier to control.
Many times while easy to disprove it requires some kind of concession of some obvious truth that the narcissist can just doggedly refuse to agree with or remember (‘the intentional forgetting’ tactic and the ‘feigned confusion or ignorance’ tactics are often employed for this). So, in fact, it is not so easy to prove when the narcissist refuses to correctly remember what happened 10 min ago or accept sound logic or reasoning. You will just turn blue in the face trying. Of course, in some cases it is indisputable. A phone log or something. My experience is when this kind of stuff happens it wasn’t their intention typically, although sometimes it was. But in these scenarios, you will typically get some sort of angry ‘invalidating’ tactic, with some good old ‘manufactured rage’ and ‘intimidation’ tactics to ‘put you on the defensive’ and get you more susceptible to further manipulation. Maybe something like: “Get over yourself already” followed up by some ‘blame-shifting’ tactics with some good old ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ tactics, like “Why the hell are you spying on my phone records anyway? What kind of relationship is this? I don’t have any privacy? I don’t know if I can do this anymore! You have major jealousy issues! You need help!” You will walk away as the loser either way. There are resistance tactics that can be used but this is a very difficult tactic to deal with and it is one of their favorites. I won’t get into the counter-tactics here though. The only way to really win in a relationship with a narcissist is to leave them and go no contact. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done *Metaspyhub@gmail. com* ,,
Excellent statements ❤
The worst narcissist is the passive-aggressive type. The silent killer, it bides its time, not showing up until it finds an opportunity to exploit.
"The worst narcissist is the passive-aggressive" yep ..
Self-absorbed, self-possessed, complacency, gaslighting used to manipulate people or situations, uses guilt and sympathy to make you feel sorry, questions your self-esteem or plead ignorance, empathy as a weapon, if you feel you've been mistreated,they'll get a reaction for you, if you do something out of character,you'll be labelled a fool🈵
Covert Narcism
That's *THE WORST* type of narcissm.
But imagine a *MIX* between TOXIC, UNMATURE and NARCISST!
*THAT'S HELL*
" its the slow knife that cuts the deepest " The Dark Knight Rises. *The silent killer* indeed, agreed.
Narcissists usually have low self esteem and confidence. I can relate to that, because I was like that, and I didn't realize just how I played mind games, and no, I do not wanna blame my narcissistic parents for passing those traits to me during an abusive period of our relationship.
Now I'm working on forgiving myself, admitting mistakes, taking responsibility and be committed to boosting my self love and confidence, one day at a time.
I'm glad someone put a mirror in my face. In a way, I can stop this behaviour sooner than later. Also, this humbling feeling gives me peace.
Same
Quiet Rebel...This testimony of yours is so commendable...It will encourage many ppl, including narcs... Everyone of us, not only narcs, need help or improvements, in some way!...but it often requires awareness, determination, persistent, & a little help from others...Right from the Garden of Eden, we all became "damaged goods" to one degree or the other!...as the Bible says, "all have sinned & come short of the glory of God"(Rom.3:23)... But there's hope!...For permanent help, however, u must call upon Jesus Christ...to wash u clean from all sin, with His sinless blood(Rom.10:9-13)...I can't help preaching this, buddy...To do otherwise, when I know & have experienced this wonder-solution, will be irresponsible & wicked of me... I'm speaking from 50+ years of experience, walking with Jesus, & overcoming so many trials, pitfalls & 'wicked' temptations in life... There's hope for every narc, & any other dysfunction in life...Call on Jesus today!... Blessings... Shalom.
Narcissists also try to make others feel special to gain control; for example, they might compliment or flatter the individual to get them on their side. They then go on to play with difficult emotions like shock, awe, and guilt to maintain control over their victim.👍
Not only that, but my ex boyfriend who lived in another country, when we wanted to meet, asked me to stay at his house, where there was his mum too
How could I suspect him? Right? But it turned out that he wasn’t the good guy I thought he was...
@@ChocoParfaitFra I'm so sorry for what happened to you :( I hope you're safe now
@@declangilmour8184 well he didn’t physically do anything bad to me, but he emotionally manipulated me from the beginning of our relationship
@@ChocoParfaitFra Physical or emotional doesn't matter; abuse is abuse and nobody deserves to go through it. I know you said ex in original comment so atleast you should be free of it. I know it can be hard to come out of something like that especially if it lasted a while and I just wanna say it gets easier you got this ❤ i hope you never go through anything like that again
@The Psychotic Slytherin Its good your mom homeschooled you that way you had some distance, if you do end up going back to the same school as your ex all I can recommend is keeping your distance and minimize interactions with them - also I'm sorry you dated a narcissist too I know that can be really taxing mentally
Escaped a 2.5 year abusive relationship with a narcissist. He did every single one of these things. Had me literally thinking I was losing my mind for a long time. Hated when I'd stand my ground and would berate me and would even say that I deserved when I got injured at times. I am so glad I had people out there to help me when it finally ended.
I'm glad that you're out!
being in a relationship with a narcissist is like having an addiction to a hard drug :/ unrealistically euphoric highs, lows that feel lower than literal hell..
i’ve never been addicted to drugs but it seems like a fairly accurate comparison based on my marriage vs basic knowledge of drug addiction
I cant physically leave my house yet because I’m too young, but as the child of one, please please please seriously for your own sake get out of there as soon as possible- I’m not in a position to move out yet age wise and I’m trying to save up money rn so when I can I move out and get emancipated and cut my narcissistic mother off- I wish you safety and the best in life 💖💖
I don’t believe all of these types of people are doing these things on purpose though. Can this condition be treated with medication or counseling? Or is it just a lifelong type of personality?
Most of the cases, friends and family are not even enough to help out.
@@MoneyManHolmes My understanding of it is: They don't think (or want to admit) that there could ever possibly be anything wrong with them. Therefore, why should they seek help? There's nothing they need help for if there's nothing wrong. If you're having such a hard time dealing with them, it's your fault. The most upset I've seen the one in my life get is when their version of reality is challenged, by my SO and I not buying into their BS or daring to call them out. I imagine it's because for a split second, their reality flickers briefly, forcing them to consider that they could very well be mistaken, and they can't stand that. So, to summarize, meds and therapy could probably help quite a bit, but you'll never get them to go on their own accord, because they don't think they need to, or they don't want to even consider that they might actually need to.
@@henrikhowell4154 please forget the money and get out. It's not worth the money. Your sanity is much more important! I don't know how the situation is in your country but try to find support from funds of the state like care financial support from officials...state councils or else... and tell as much people as possible how you feel and your situation is! Greetings from Europe. Stay strong!
something i've heard:
"an apology with no change is manipulation."
that opened my eyes about my narcissistic mother.
You're lucky she apologized, most don't. They see that as a sign of weakness, when it's actually a sign of strength, maybe control in your case. For whatever reason, it's hard to have a narcissist in your life
@@iratepirate4756 unfortunately she still doesn't see why it's wrong and damaging to say the things she said and continues to hurt me. she doesn't care, she only apologized because i brought the matter up with my therapist and would look bad if she didn't, because she looks perfect to everyone else.
Did the therapist see through that
@@iratepirate4756 my therapist knows what my mom is like, but unfortunately there's really not much she can do besides try and fix our relationship
is best of luck to you
They're self-absorbed, entitled, callous, exploitative, authoritarian, and aggressive. Some are physically abusive. These unempathetic, arrogant narcissists think highly of themselves, but spare no disdain for others.
Very true, they are incredibly dangerous people, user beware.
Sounds like my dearest papa.
They do not think highly of themselves at all. It's the complete opposite. They think so lowly of themselves that they create a manufactured illusion of themselves. They are deeply insecure. Therefore the lies and manipulation. So you only see what they want you to see and believe what they want you to believe. Narcissists are only as good as the people that buy into it and let them het away with it. Perfect example, Trump.
Or sexually abusive, like my ex...
@Adora Belle But this doesn't justify them, I've BPD and for a lot of time I see myself in an horrendous manner (also caused by the abuse of my ex) and I've never abused someone.
Empathy is not weakness, but standing up for yourself takes strength. Be strong everyone.
Yep
@Yosemite wow
@Yosemite lol
@Yosemite I know who u are
Narcissists love polygamy marriages!
I dated someone like this for 2 years. It was a total mental hellscape of which I had never known before. Often times, people who deal with this kind of person have dealt with some form of abuse or even a narcissistic parent themselves. Internal healing and reaffirming your own personal boundaries is the best way to prevent dealing with this kind of abuse. Stay golden everyone
This 🙏🏻
My mother is a narcissist. She ticks every box in this video and I've known this about her for a few years now. I went into therapy a few years ago for depression and PTSD and found myself much stronger and tried to have some semblance of a relationship with her. Even with these tools, she was exhausting to deal with and it was taking a toll on my mental health again so have since cut her from my life.
I get a lot of backlash for it from people that don't know me or know the full story i.e.: "but she's your mother!" "you can't just cut her out of your life!" I can, I have, and I am better off from it.
I'm in the same boat. It's a hard reality to swallow yet I know I'm not psychologicaly well enough to sustain even a surface level relationship with my mother....I pray for forgiveness and healing for us both 💕
Omg!It seems like I’m reading this text about myself!I have gone through everything you mentioned!I’m still in therapy though.It has been very difficult to move past childhood traumas and everything I expieranced because of my mother.Only way to heal from it all was to cut her out of my life completely and go to therapy to finally move on.I realised my mother will never change! Her evil and toxic behaviour towards me almost caused me to do suicide!!I still to this day don’t understand how could she treat her own child like that!I’’m 31 years old now and I’m still reliving past traumas.I don’t care anymore what people think of me when I tell them about my mother not being in my life.I don’t need to explain myself to people who don’t even know me or my past and what I have been through!I let them think what they want,which is “There’s something wrong with Me”.I need to protect my Mental health and peace and that’s more important than what people think!Thanks for sharing the story!I can so relate to this! ❤️
My siblings are trapped 24 and 27 years old. They have no idea our mothers a narcissist. Worst part is my dad knows and does nothing
Kudos to u! My mom is also & I'm only kid.. when her dr said she needed live in aid I got us a place together thinking its my job to step up for her. More I watch/listen to these videos I'm learning this place wasn't my best idea.... She's narcissistic & I'm BPD, got PTSD, anxiety, depression, anger issues. I self medicate & either stay in my room or go in woods to get away 😞
Bravo!!!!You did it right...me2 because all from my life are NARSISTSTS....
Ahhh gaslighting, I thought I was going crazy and being over dramatic sooo many times because the other person convinced me of this ... honestly my self esteem has taken a hit
Mine did to
me too... she said i am overreacting, too emotional etc, and now i know... i am not the insane one...
@@nadiaelsa3850 yea it’s gaslighting and it’s so so manipulative! I can now recognize it more easily
Me tooooo
I’m dealing with a narcissistic mother and watching this made me cry because it gave me so much validation to how I’ve been feeling😭
I am with 5 narcissists ALL LIFE IN MY HOME...What i say...😔😔😔
@@annastyles6217How😮
so am i :(
@@annastyles6217 girll same, its hard having literally nobody, but at least we know our shit ❤
Are you guys okay? 😢
My goodness. This is such a spot on description of my most recent relationship. She dumped me a month ago over text. Mean, cruel, cold, lacked empathy, gaslighted me, refused to acknowledge responsibility, gave me the silent treatment, then threw a tantrum when I called her out and stood up for myself. She wasn't like that the whole time, but in our last month together her true colors came out and it looked exactly like this. She broke my heart, but it's getting better with time and counseling. Good luck to anyone else going through this.
I was in a 2 year relo with one and she did everything your ex narc did to you and much more.
Things is, she didn't change in the last month with you. She was always like this,but only knew well to hide her true self.
My mom was married to my dad for 12 years. Although he refuses to go and get diagnosed, my whole family suspects he is a narcissist. He left me and my brother with extreme emotional trauma from psychological abuse. My mom left him a few years back and we’re on the road to recovery ❤️
you are so strong and God has a plan for you!!!
Narcissists think they know it all and consider medical professionals lesser than them. Cover and overt narcissists will never seek help and even if they do when mortified, they'll stop going once they're back to normal, heck they'll even manipulate the psychologists lol
Take good care of yourself ❤️❤️
@@soummyatilloo1761 having a parent as a narcissist usually leads to cptsd/npd /bpd/codependency/insecure attachment styles/all sorts of darkness emerges when they don't let the child be the child.
I‘m extremely sorry for anyone who has to go through something like this! Keep reminding yourself that you are great, worth of love and respect and that no one has the right to put you down! I‘m reading so many comments from so many broken but strong people. Keep your heads up everyone ♥️
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I know this was written 6 months ago but thank you❤️
thank you, I needed to hear this.
Ya‘ll are so welcome 🥰 feel hugged, everybody! 🧸♥️
Your comment made me feel positive. Thank you.
Just got out of a 3 year relationship with someone who definitely portrays these characteristics. 😱 always lashed out and broke up with me when I didn't do the things he wanted me to do..... definitely got gaslit and he definitely doesn't see his own wrong behavior. You know how many times I ran crying trying to get him back and apologizing for shit I didn't even need to apologize for ?!
Me: same
I’m glad you got away. I was married to one for 14 years before I filed for divorce ; the divorce took another three years to complete. I had to take her to trial. Of course since we have a daughter together I’ll still have some contact with the X. I’m thankful to God that I made it out alive; I lived in the same house with her for the entire three year divorce.
Same… damn near begging and feeling invisible!! Caused me extreme PTSD but im in therapy and healing everyday
I did the same :(
@@motha_earth1386 I was crying like for hours infront of him and he didn't try to wipe my tears or showed any sympathy..
I just left a 41 year marriage to a narcissist. These were spot on. I hope I can recover. I want to be around for my children and grandchildren.
Wow.
It takes time to recover but you will get through it it gets better each day that goes by time to enjoy life
Wish my grandma would but she doesn't believe in divorce because of religion
You'll recover with time ❤️
Sorry to hear that time will heal
This is SO sad...don't let anyone mistreat you...EVER.
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When your own parent is a narcissist, it's hard to protect yourself...
Because you can't escape..
Tru ... I was supposed to move out this year to uni, at least I get some time to work on my temper whenever I get some alone time
yep. i'm 18 and trying to move in with my boyfriend. My mom is such a narcisist and plays the victim so much that im not able to leave....Everyone around her believes her and tells me just how much of a bad person i am....I's been like this my whole life and thats one of the reasons i had depression for 3 years....
It really is. Recently I've found out that I've been exposed to gaslighting, narcissism and emotinal abuse. I'm 19, majoring in law (freshman) and my parents are being really disrespectful to me, to my personal space. They're also telling me that I can't leave the house until I get married. I'm really suspicious whether I would be sad or not if I lost them. And of course, I don't know how to deal with this situation. Being with my family is like a torture.
@@missfluffycheek we are in VERY similar situations, i understand you. Stay strong
It will always amaze me how the narc is perfectly described and diagnosed. It's all 100% true.
When I tell you I was BLINDED, I was so blind. My ex said I was a cancer to his life, but he was the one feeding from my beautiful soul literally dragging me down to his level. I have never felt more drained & after we broke up he tells me it felt like his best friend died. Like no honey your life support system just finally left you to rot like the piece of shit he was. Sorry I’m ruthless because fuck them.
I worried for a long time that I was a narcissist, but it turns out my ex was just calling me what he is, so that was a relief. While I do have some toxic traits, I'm working on them. Admitting I was wrong feels really ugly, embarrassing, and scary, but... fuck it. If I want to be a good person, I have to tackle the most shameful parts of who I've been as a person.
I’m in the same boat, there’s a few of these I show, and am currently working on.
Same. I can get stuck in my head because of my depression but I don't try to manipulate people/situations
It's true. Narcs will often project who they are and accompanied with gaslighting, you end up thinking that you're the narcissist. I don't believe narcissists have any introspection, they think their perfect.
Sht same here I have done some of these in the past but now Im scared af if I will do this in the future
Mine called me a narcissist too .... my personality changed as a product of his behaviour.... I’ve never known anything like it
I’ve allowed myself to become close with too many narcissists. Took a long time to figure out that most good people are not like this
Same raised by one
Finally had to let go of a narcissist friendship, and damn, it's very liberating. These signs are so telling, but nice people, especially empaths, can have a hard time figuring it all out until it really starts hurting. Hoping everyone out there can use videos like this to help themselves see these signals and help free themselves.
I was best friends with someone exactly like this for 3 years and when a toxic person can no longer control you they will try to control how others see you. She still does this 2 years after the end of our friendship.
Wow just ended my 5yr narcissistic frienship with ex best friend I feel Soo much lighter!!
I am so sorry you endured this !
"They will try to control how others see you" thats true
Jep. The same has happened to me after I ended 4 yrs of friendship a couple of years ago.
@@themasterofbeer dang. Im on the sitch
My ex-girlfriend was a victim of a sociopathic narcissist in her previous relationship before me, for 7 years she was with him and together they have a daughter.
Unfortunately, she did not realize it before and finaly broke up with him but her self-confidence and self-esteem had alredy deteriorated sharply.
I tried everything I could to help her but she did not want to expose me to the hard work.
She thought I was too good for her and think I would be happier without her, even though we had feelings for each other.
I do not agree but I can't and do not want to force her into a relationship that she does not want.
After 3 months since we broke up and I still have feelings for her.
She wanted me to move on and I tried. But that's easier said than done.
I hope she finds happiness again and can move on with her life, not for my sake but for her own and her daugher.
It’s been 23 months for me. I walked away cause I thought of suicide and didn’t want that for my daughter.,
I still think of him every day. He moved on with his ex a week later.
I recently found someone but my heart is closed.. sometimes it opens but to close again. It’s hard to move on.. the trauma and pain are deeply rooted .. very difficult..I wish you the best Jes, really. Like no other I know how hard it is to get them out of your system
@@123river Thank you. It warms my heart to read that from you and i'am sorry for you too.
No one should be exposed to that, i wish you all the luck in the world.
@@gilmourishgilmourish6205 I'am sorry and thankfull to hear it from you Gil, I trule are.
She said that too, about the heart. Thanks to your daugher you are still alive today to tell your story for people in need.
For that you have my deepest respect.
I wish you and your daugher the best aswell, and I hope that you to will find your soulmate soon.
Becuz you deserve it.
Currently going through this. We want someone in our life, but feel like such a burden. It is not easy, I don’t know if any relationship after an abusive one will be easy. She sounds very mature and caring for you though. Everything works out one day 🤞
@@deanna5853 A friend of mine managed to find love after an abusive relationship.
Then she said that it will only be difficult if you think like that and as long as you keep a broken heart, it will continue to be difficult.
I know how it feels, that the next relationship will just be hard and stiff. But only if you let it be so because it will not be fair to either you or your new partner if you keep a broken heart.
You must let your broken heart heal first before you are willing to give it to someone else.
You are not a burden Deanna!
Just as you said "Everything works out one day" and I wish you peace, love and happiness.
I have had a relationship with this kind of person for 2+ years long. It was so horrible and traumatic, in my current pov. Back then I was so into him, I didn't realize he actually was taking advantage of me in a bad way. It's been a year since I broke up with him. I'm grateful that I can stand by myself and speak for myself right now. For you all who are in that state, please don't be afraid. Just let them go.
Sending my warm hug for you.
I’ve been dealing with this for years. I’ve been shut down from society and told I’m ugly and would never have friends so I need them. They told me I’m so ugly that they are being generous by liking me. I believed it all my life. But I can’t stick up for myself. Now that I know I will put a stop to it. That I promise. 😊
Me 2
A narcissistic "mother" is among the worst and should never have a child, especially a daughter. The jealousy, envy and competing is real. She sees the daughter as competition for male attention. I wish I had a mentally healthy mother who wasn't emotionally, physically and verbally abusive.
I have a mpther like this and other narcissists in the family, isolation from them is the best solution. But of course don't isolate yourself from society
Yes it's true.also thaught about the same sentence .they shouldn't have the capacity to give birth .the are simply portal to hell
Being son of a narsistic mother is also the same .from childhood itself I know it .but I kept hope she would change one day .I kept on giving to her.it was like throwing your soul into a black hole .it never fills .it never returns anything good .and it's also really weird know there are actually words for what I suffered from childhood. few years back I totally realised what she was doing to my life
It's already too late for me .now I am 32 and there is enough damage that will stay with me to my end of life
Sending hugs and love for you guys. Stay strong.
I may not know how your parents impacted you by their narcissistic attitude/bahavior but I have an uncle who is like that too.
@@SilentTripYes and self-care and self-healing also help. Becoming aware of the narcissist is utmost.
To add on this list... Narcissists also use relationships/friendships as a weapon if things don’t go their way especially if they want something or have a favour w/ someone.
Could you explain more please?
@@marolina9329 When Narcissists lose control over someone or that someone refuses to do their favour, they’ll get defensive - may definitely use relationships as a weapon to reconquer the control & still use them.
For the Smarter cases, they will say what they do wrong in your face then point it at you, so that they will later prevent you from speaking out how they're being (rude/mean/psychotic/you name it), then top it off with "You are being rude/negative", "You're a hypocrite", or "Stop trying to pin stuff on other people".
@@marolina9329 Narcissistic use common friends to get you back in trap. They will try to convince every common person whether friend or family member to get you back.
@@fresherdays thanks for explaining.
I believe my best friend may be a narcissist. She's constantly guilt tripping me, dumping all her problems on me, always talking about herself, always plays the victim, she's jealous that I have other friends, and there is so much more sht she's done that I don't have the energy to explain. When I tried to end the friendship (more than once) she's guilt tripped me into staying. I do love her and still like some parts of her, but it's really stressful dealing with her somtimes.
Please don't be like me and end a toxic relationship asap, leaving a toxic relationship is easier than putting up with their sht
Send her my way, I'll be friends with her!
I had to get away from a narcissistic friend. Love her dearly. But she's toxic af. We can have an even exchange and she'll come out of it a victim...while victimizing others. 😒
Recognize that narcissistic traits can develop from trauma and those who have been in a relationship with one or raised by one can exhibit those same traits
Please leave her. I'm talking from experience. It will save you so much energy to use to take care of yourself instead
a classic sign is no genuine interest with any depth in you or your life. but you're expected to sit thr for hours on end when the situations reversed.
Wow... eye-opener. For almost a year my best friend has been a narcissist. I ended my friendship with her not long ago and she tried to ruin all my friendships because I was standing my ground. This explains a lot.
Is anyone watching “YOU” on Netflix? www.netflix.com/ca/title/80211991 How do you feel about it?
We're thinking of doing an analysis of the series on our newly launched Korean Channel:
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There will be English subtitles! But this is a great way to support our mission in making mental health more accessible in other countries!
omg hiii i love your channel ❤️
Oh boy oh boy i love your channel
@@damonisch5801 Thanks :)
Omg your talking about the show you
That comment totally confused me
Why is it projected like it is always men who are a narcissist in this video? I live with a narcissistic wife and this video has helped me. :)
It's so hard to escape a narcissist coz once u leave a narcissist you won't have any more friends coz all ur friends will be on their side
im so sorry to hear that, i hope your doing better
They are his or her's "flying monkeys" and IDGAF. My father is a Narc. His relatives are his flying monks. They must wait for my revenge 🔥💁
Maybe they weren't your real friends in the 1st place. My truly close friends would never chose a guy over me, someone who they've known all their life as apposed to some guy you dated or even married. I've dated a narcissist & my girls always had my back & encouraged me to leave no matter how much he tried to spin or manipulate the situation.
karma will come eventually
That's so very True!!!!
I was friends with a narcissist for 10 years and I had finally had enough of them abusing my friendship. I still struggle with the loss and trauma of said abusive friendship. But since leaving that friendship I've gained two new wonderful friends who truly care about me. ❤
I'm happy for you. This is kind of exactly what happened to me. 💯💯🤘
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🥳🥳🥳
Narcissistic people are extremely charming yet painfully insecure. I lost my identity before, luckily. But it took me about 3 years to get it back to what was normal for me. Because of that narcissistic person I won't ever second guess my thoughts or go against what I feel and see.. So I thank that S.O.B. for waking me up
My ex-best friend was exactly like this. So glad he's no longer in my life.
@@آسياعدنان-ي1ن Hi! Keep your boundaries tight, be a little more assertive. If you don't want to chat with her, then told her you don't have time to her atm. If she keep texting, it means she don't respect your boundaries (especially if she get mad or try to gulit trip you). Then you have to call her out/confront her, because she don't respect your ask for more space. Normal people understand if you need space. Good luck!
SAME (female)
@@آسياعدنان-ي1ن drop her. I went back to my narcissistic friend at least 4 times and have always regretted it. You can make new friends.
@@آسياعدنان-ي1ن A good way to fuck with a narc is by being boring or giving little to no information. The “dull rock” method I think is what they call it. They eventually leave you alone
Ikr had me all fucked up in the head but thats over
I’ve been with a narcissist, and it’s a horrible experience, it sucked my soul out. HOWEVER, I do want to say that almost anybody can become a narcissist without realizing it, or should I say they can “take the narcissist role” in a relationship. All it takes is an intense, strong connection, and a very desperate, clingy, co-dependent person. Like for example, if two people fall in love quickly, and not long after that, the person becomes clingy and overly emotional all the time and reliant on the other person, that other person, so intensely in love, would automatically assume the narcissist role, though they wouldn’t intentionally. The person would just get used to the other person relying on them for everything that it becomes automatic. Then they lose respect for the person, and the repeated patterns of love-fighting-emotions-sex, etc...becomes a habitual thing, and neither person can leave.
So I’m just saying, you don’t have to actually BE a narcissist to become one in a certain unhealthy relationship. And yes, it’s equally hard for both parties to break it off, because it’s still a trauma bond.
Moral of the story: just avoid co-dependent people and don’t be co-dependent yourself.
Nick P, that rings true for me I'm the codependent who recently turned into a narcissistic witch. I'm starting therapy this week as I dont like who I've become, and such ambivalent feelings have undone me. Thank you for your insight as I wasnt clear on how i was going to ask for help from therapist. Arohanui from New Zealand.
I get what you're saying but you're also suggesting in a way that it's okay for the "narcissistic" one to essentially abuse the "co-dependent" one because they somehow made them do it. It just sounds like more crap a narcissist would say. A healthy person would break it off, not stay in it. Only a genuine narcissist would, not someone who was having their patience thinned in a relationship. The narcissist is in a far more powerful position and stands to benefit far more than the co-D. They siphon power being in that role so no, I have no pity for these intentional or unintentional narcissists. You know what I did when someone was too clingy/desperate? I broke it off. Or I prevented the relationship from progressing further. I didn't let it turn into some garbage fire of a relationship where I abuse the other person because I don't respect them or for my own gratification like a s**k f**k.
The thing is, you assume that a co-dependent person is the only one narcissists can abuse, but that's not true, even a healthy person can be targeted in a period of grief. Not to mention, the narcissist will still try with a healthy person as literally, everyone has the capacity to be manipulated. They will try to manipulate anyone they can, and sometimes they think they are manipulating you the way they want, but you're just going about your business (the one I encountered tried to get me to change the way I dress, but I liked the shirt and wasn't going to change my hair unless I wanted to). The thing is, they'll target people who will give them even a little consideration, not just those that give all consideration away. i realized what was going on during the first period of ghosting to lower my self confidence because i thought it was really strange for someone who was interested to suddenly be so mean to me. The person got really cocky and underestimated me
this is so real i’m dealing with being the one turned into this and i always have no idea why fights happen when i never mean for it to be that way
Omg wow You’ve written everything that went on in my marriage! Yes they will drain everything!
Im finally signing my divorce papers! 😃
Everything of this did my abusive ex to me.. Thankfully I healed from it with therapy and speaking about it.. I was too long ashamed.. But he's the one who should be ashamed.
Glad you found the right therapy! :)
😰😰😰
I had experienced all these signs!
I was badly traumatized and wasn't able to analyze simple things.
It was extremely painful and that mental torture made my life a nightmare.
Thankfully, I cut all the ties with those monsters and living my life peacefully now✌🏼
Alhumdulillah❤
🤗🤗🤗🤗
So proud of you ❤❤ i am also in the same page and trying to get through it
Most narcissists that I've met in addition to everything stated in this video also were active drug users. Lying, cheating, stealing, deceptive behavior, munipulation and emotional immaturity are all traits of an active drug user/addict.
This is the most uneducated and ignorant comment I’ve read in 2022
This is so true
They addict too much with you without REAL FEELING...😔😔😔😔
i’m a recovering addict and im NOT a narcissist. i’ve been in a narcissistic relationship. it’s unfair for you to say this. yes , some pwNPD might be addicts, but not all addicts act like pwNPD.
@@dmorrell8539 That's why I said "Most" if the shoe doesn't fit You don't have to wear it.
My ex was a narcissist and when she was gone and was still trying to play games with my head. I blew her mind away when I told her "Your Jedi mind tricks have no effect on me!...Only money." That brought the conversation to a screeching halt. lol
I like that one. Ima start saying that 🤣
Good one!
@@sarahmk2966 Thanks 😊
I was married to one. Now he’s with someone else who doesn’t realize he’s a narc or pretends she doesn’t know. Im glad he’s gone
mai bhi ek se ,bhot dukh pohchaya usne mujhe
Same! I'm sure she thinks she won a prize, but wait til she meets the real him...😒
I m currently into this
My mother bears many of these tactics and traits of a narcissist. I got away nearly 10 years ago, I’m 23 now and I was 13-14 when I got away, and she still brings me emotional agony any time she’s let in.
YES, SOMETIMES IT TAKES NO - CONTACT UNTIL YOU CAN FINALLY FIND PEACE OF MIND. IT'S AMAZING HOW YOU HOLD ON SOOOO LONG, TRYING, HOPING TO MAKE IT WORK, UNTIL IT FINALLY SMACKS YOU BETWEEN THE EYES' THAT THERE IS NO MAKING IT WORK!!!!A NARCISSIST WILL ALWAYS FIND FAULT WITH ANYTHING YOU SAY,THINK,DO.THEY WILL PUNISH YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR ONE DAMNED EXCUSE OR ANOTHER.IT'S WHEN THEY FINALLY GO AFTER WHAT YOU LOVE THAT WILL BE THE BREAKING POINT FOR THE NON- NARCISSIST!!!! JUST BE PREPARED THAT THEY ARE 9/10 TRASHING YOU TO YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY, FRIENDS', IF UR NARCISSIST INTWINED THEMSELVES'IN A LOT OF YOUR FRIENDSHIPS', THEY COULD TELL UR FRIENDS' HOW WORRIED THEY ARE ABOUT YOU & HAVE THEIR LITTLE WAYS'OF TAKING SOMETHING SAID IN INNOCENCE & TURNING & TWISTING IT INTO SOME B.S. IT NEVER WAS!!!! UNFORTUNATELY,THEY DON'T CHANGE -- EVER!!!!SO, IT'S UP TO YOU HOW MUCH YOU CAN EMOTIONALLY,MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY & SPIRITUALLY TAKE, JUST TALKING ON THE PHONE WITH THEM CAN BE ABSOLUTELY DRAINING!!!!LIKE THEY JUST WANT TO SEE THE BAD IN EVERYTHING - NO MATTER WHAT YOU MIGHT TRY TO SAY OR THINK OF TO GIVE THEM HOPE, NOPE-- THEY WILL SUCK ALL OF YOUR POSITIVITY LIKE A VAMPIRE SUCKS YOUR LIFE- SUSTAINING BLOOD RIGHT FROM YOUR VEINS'!!!!BY THE TIME YOU ARE OFF THE PHONE, YOU FEEL EMOTIONALLY DEPLETED & BEYOND HOPELESS!!!!YOU MIGHT HAVE TO CHOOSE WHETHER TO CUT TIES WITH ALL OF UR FAMILY IF THEY ARE UNAWARE OF THE SITUATION OTHERWISE SEEING THE NARC AT FAMILY PARTIES' COULD POTENTIALLY SET THE NARC OFF, BUT HAVING IT APPEAR AS YOUR FAULT THE NARC WILL TELL UMPTEEN LIES ABOUT YOU TO YOUR FAMILY & THEY WILL THINK YOU ARE SH*T-- HAVING NEVER HEARD YOUR SIDE, BECUZ YOU NEVER TRASHED THE NARC., TOU JUST KEPT QUIET.IT'S SAD WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO NO - CONTACT,BUT SOMETIMES IT IS VERY, VERY NECESSARY!!!!MANY PRAYERSNLUV 👼👼✝️✝️❤️🔥❤️🔥🙏🙏🌹🕊️🌹🌹🌹💝💝💃💃🔥🔥
My mother is 100% narcissist.
I had mental problems, because of that too. I am recovering. I am so glad that you expose the truth and spread awareness about this and other problems.
I am so sorry you went through that.
Mine too. Because of her I struggle with panick attacks and agoraphobia. I still live with her and everyone tells me i should leave to get better but she has made me feel weak and helpless and I'm afraid I won't make it on my own.
@@korinaaaaaa1 wow same here she has destroyed my life & happiness i am 36yrs old still living w/ her bcus she won’t let me leave. She doesn’t want to be alone, she torments me every single day ! But enuff is enuff idc where ill end up at this point i have to get away from her before she ends up hurting me or ill end up hurting her. I dnt want to go to jail i have a 9yr old to take care of. We have to get out of that mindset of feeling like we’re not going to make it & go for it or else it’s going to get worse.🥺♥️
THE NARCISSISTS ARE SICK MENTALLY BECAYSE THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND THEMSELFS WHO ARE PROJECTIONS IN ITHERS BUT ALWAYS UNDERSTANTS THEIR FAKE ADICTIVE LOVE TO YOU WHO IS A AFRAID OF THEIR YOURSELF IN YOU...😔😔😔😔😔
Mine too
Man #4 really hit home for me. Exactly what happened. I said I was sorry for everything, anything, and found myself begging for him back. It was a horrible cycle, I know I did nothing wrong, and yet I was still apologizing through tears
Just had a fallout with a best friend of 10+ years who I grew up with. Although this was really painful, realizing that their treatment towards me was due to narcissism has been so healing. Even though my kindness and empathy was taken advantage of by them and manipuated, I now know how I deserve to be treated and will be sure to give my kindess and empathy to those who will appreciate it and not use it against me.
You're spot on! I found out the hard way.
Fortunately, I recognized some red flags early. I was able to extract myself without much
resultant damage.
Every time I called them out for their crap, they would say I was delusional and then essentially tell me I was insane and continuously beat me down. At first, I believed it, because they had told me that I don't actually know who I am and that only they did and it had been pounded into my head so many times that I was forced to believe that too. Then I found psych2go, and I realised they werent the victim of me, but that I was the victim of them. I'm so much better now, so thank you so much for everything
im so happy that you are better considering all of that
@@ilovejesus11 Thank you
@@sorayad4642 no problem im truly happy for you
This is a great start to identifying an issue and learning how to deal with it or avoid the power struggle. Because that's what it often becomes. A power struggle, and knowing how to recognise the signs of manipulation are important. Then you can regain control and avoid being sucked into situations where you are being taken advantage of. Also realising that you deserve better and that you can't always help someone break free of their negative habits is important for self care.
The dislikes are all narristic, angry that they are being exposed to the world 🌎
😂
Lol that shit was fucking hilarious
lol
Am a narcissists, but it is Narcissistic Personality Disorder, many of us are very insecure about ourselves, it can depend on how u were raised and the way you were treated, I recently found out am a narcissist when I tried to manipulate my friend by giving him the silent treatment over a small criticism and it was honest and factual, I tried to deny I have NPD but i just accepted am one and now am trying to change but it is not easy, and one thing that I found is the root cause of Narcissism is that I don't have empathy, am trying to have empathy, truth be told, no empathy at all, I just want people to feel sorry for me... I was really sad when my friend was not entertaining my silent treatment and I just felt like I missed him and I felt very bad because he I missed him not because I felt bad for the way I treated him am trying to have empathy by understanding other people but its really hard, the truth is that you cannot change them but they have to realise it by themselves and that's the hardest part, I also tried to deny it but when I saw all the symptoms I said yep that's me and am going for therapy.
@@davidkwizera9457 Bruh. You can't have empathy if you treat others like shit, you know that right?
The gaslighting, selfish behavior, and LIES were terrible !!
Emotional trauma. Yes. Gaslighting abuse can last for years especially if the abuser denies the way they treated others. Lies. Yes. Lies. Thats the worst thing that makes the victim look even more crazy, or that we have the problematic behaviour
Yes indeed, they make you look crazy, while they themselfs are... and you're left with the pain and trauma. I do not understand how one can be so unfair.
IKR
This explains my ex. He made me questions my own emotions and my own habits and words. After every argument, I always believed that I was the one at fault and he wouldn't continue to tear me down emotionally. After we broke up I finally felt freer than I was before so I'm glad I got out of that.
This sounds a lot like my ex. I'm with someone who treats me with a lot more respect and dignity now but the lasting wounds her emotional and physical abuse left still hurt me and it's taking time to heal. But from the get go, I think I learned from that and make more of an effort to surround myself with people who treat me and others with the same kind of compassion and genuine kindness.
hey, glad you are doing better. Wish you all the best
Amen🙏🏻
I think abusive relationships can be harder for men because girls can easily play the victim. Abused men get ignored by both men and women. I’m sorry for what you went through, but you were strong to walk away.
@@thesphinxthinks8291 Its not. Men are stronger then women, and we don't have a chance to get away without the fear of being hurt. For us, its harder to escape. And to debunk your thing about 'its easier to play victim'-
You guys might not know this but us GorLS have very strong girl code. If you play victim, There goes all your friends -3-""
Not saying that women being abusive never happens, I just think its unfair to say one sex has it worse then the other.
@@Le111f That's such an unfair way to generalize men or women. No one gender is stronger than the other. Everything you described is exactly what I, a man, went through. I don't care about girl code or how "you girls" are. Gender doesn't matter. An abusive person is an abusive person. Same as how a victim is a victim. I kept my mouth shut because she went ahead and told her version of events to everyone else and a majority of them ate it up. What that other person was saying was that you hear a lot of girls being antagonized and abused by male partners a lot more than the other way around. So when I tell people my ex-girlfriend emotionally and physically abused me, they could say I have to "man up" and not be weak. She gave a lot of people I knew baseless claims and played the victim and they bought that. Forgive me if this all sounds harsh to you, I'm sorry if this makes you wanna call me names or insult me or what ever, but I found what you said to be hurtful. Men and women are neither stronger nor weaker than each other, and they're both just as capable as being toxic partners.... If I hit my ex and insulted her the way she did to me... Do you have any idea how much trouble I would be in...? She knew I wouldn't hit her back either. And I think she's a coward.... I respect your opinion when you say one sex doesn't have it worse than the other. But I disagree and believe it depends on what the circumstances are. Could you also please clarify what you mean? You say no gender has it worse than the other but your wording makes it sound like men have it all easier. Again, it's a matter of perspective.
These videos help me understand my narcissistic father. I keep listening to them time to time, thank you for posting these
for anyone going through this situation:
it is really difficult, but it is a lesson to teach us that we must love ourselves so much that we do not want to protect ourselves but want to live freely without being on the defensive. as long as we think we are protecting ourselves we are giving importance to the narcissist in question by believing that we are victims but we are not! train yourself to love yourself so much that you think your energy is pure as opposed to theirs and stay in your truth! if you are authentic and genuine they will not know how to access you because they are not able to be the first and so in addition to unmasking them you increase the respect for yourself
you are strong, I send you so much love. only those who go through these situations know what all this means, so put your mental health first and reinforce your boundaries without feeling guilty because you deserve the best.
You can really leave from this shit, even it’s in your family.
i wanna say thank you to this channel for helping me get out of a toxic relationship. i thought what i felt was normal but because of the channel I realized it wasn’t. now I’m in a happy stable relationship and living my life to the fullest
The scariest thing is if you are a kind hearted.. you are afraid they are going to commit dead cause you left them or reject them.cause it’s hard for them to understand that “their is always fish in the sea”
You captured my feelings. My dad has narcisstic traits. Me and my mom are thinking about moving out so I can escape him, but I've been hesitant. Through all this hate and sorrow, I still fear he would die alone or that I would be responsible for someone else's pain. But I don't have the energy to care about others that much when I too am hurting. He's an adult, he can cook food, take care of dishes and hopefully do laundry. I'm only a teenager. I have my whole life ahead of me. I can't waste time on an old fool who will never change. Call me selfish if you must... I just want to stand a chance in this unforgiving, cruel world. You made your choice. Now I'll make mine.
1:17 Gaslighting
2:13 Projection
2:43 Guilt Tripping
3:08 Silent Treatment
3:42 Feigned Ignorance
4:20 Playing the victim
5:05 Throwing tantrums
“The narcissist mind games are now closed and you’re not forced to participate” 👏🏾👏🏾
Yes
I refuse to participate. Let the chips fall where they may.
Time to fight back
ua-cam.com/video/fpeMCEyQ698/v-deo.html instagram.com/p/COlZzPajFED/ instagram.com/p/CMZW6a4FHZ5/
Right! I just blocked one. Ain’t nobody dealing with that if we don’t have to 👆🏼
as someone who's grown up with a narcissistic mother: if you are in a relationship and recognice this behavior, do not try to change them. You can't. You should leave for your own safety.
Yup, these were all the tactics my abusive narc mother used. My mental health was at it's absolute lowest when she had me convinced that she loved me deeply and was doing everything she could to care for me despite all the other stress and responsibilities in her life, but I was making it more difficult for her.
4 and a half years no contact now. My personality is practically unrecognizable from the kid I used to be because I'm absolutely thriving now.
Although, I am not quite sure whether the person in mind is narcissistic or maybe just a plain entitled person.
But, since I did not have any energy nor space left to sympathize them. I took my respect & glance, never looking back.
Even when I tried to explain, I want to have healthy boundaries, they told me I have mental sickness. I laughed in my mind, I mean... who would not have mental sickness being manipulated out of your sympathy.
Since then, even though sometimes I feel bad for them, I choose my liberation. I ran out of patience, chance, space for them, cause I don't want to be in the same position ever again.
Hard to say. Mine wanted space and independence but wanted to stay together. There were no boundaries or communication so it became a complex guessing game. I feel she was a rare combination of avoidant and narcissistic. I feel bad for her.
The only way for me to save myself from this narc is to walk away from this person, and going no contact at all... I wish i had some courage to walk away earlier... But no regret, better late than never
Yes that's what I did and it's the best way to go. Confronting them would just give them opportunity to turn the tide and manipulate you into staying.
@@Lexihides exactly.. and that's just wasting time and energy. Just leave is enough to tell them that they don't deserve us
It is the only way. It was a struggle trying to break up with my ex, because talking would go in circles. He didn’t take no for an answer, so I cut him off entirely. I felt horrible at first because it felt dishonorable, but I finally realized it was for the best. Especially since he kept harassing me for months after, using different numbers to call and making fake accounts. And yet he always played the victim... saying I wronged him. Right.
@@thesphinxthinks8291 be strong... Never blame yourself from leaving the narc... Because they don't deserve any kindness...
I think you missed one very important point, that is if you're in a relationship with a narcissist doesn't matter whatever the relation is, friend or more you're the "ONLY ONE "who's giving and they will suck the very life out of you, they wont give you ANYTHING, not even acknowledge your efforts or give you any emotional support and you'll be completely empty and bankrupted.
True that
@M e Exactly I'm an empath amd I tried to heal my narc but what happened.. I lost my selfrespect and he said that he would only treat me better when I get rich and a house and business, as those are his "standards" and then when I said that I would heal him then he said that he doesn't need healing and that I'm immature and need to "grow" as per him also then we had a fight and he blocked me and i was so happy to finally let go but today this urge to talk to him has come back and its killing me!!!
Yes, I’ve met someone like this. My sense of sanity had been trampled and my self-esteem kept taking blows that always sent me back to him.
I feel like he’s in every part of my life; it’s driving me crazy but being driven crazy will only make my mind hazy and I need all my wits about me to survive.
Survive what?
Not being drawn back in. Keeping my boundaries.
I had a close friend who was like this. Unfortunately I didn’t know she was a narcissist, and I didn’t know the red flags because I had low self-esteem and didn’t have a lot of world experience. She used to lie on many occasions even if there were consequences and then fain ignorance and be sorry when she’s caught. I only distanced myself because I was starting to be very uncomfortable and even get anxiety. It’s only after many years I know the signs. Trust your gut folks. If something doesn’t feel right, get your self some distance
I think it's a little deeper than this. You make it seem like the narcissist is doing this knowingly or of some pre-planned agenda. It's a psychological condition, they often don't know they are doing this because they have no concept of your feelings or perspective. It's like sweeping leaves on a windy day to get a person like this to understand fully.
You are right. They don't know they are ill, they live in the confidence that others are wrong, not them. They plan nothing. That's the reason why narcs are so difficult to cure.
I’ve actually had interactions with a few clinically diagnosed narcissists and they do absolutely know exactly what they are doing. The problem isn’t whether or not they know exactly what they’re doing, the problem is that for them this behavior is normal, so for them they don’t feel like they are sick. It’s not that they don’t know that they’re manipulating you, it isn’t that they don’t know exactly how their manipulations affect you.
@@chyowens I totally agree! They 100 % know what they are doing! He told me many many many times that he wanted to care but he just didn't! Bone chilling words!! Cuts like a knife!
Your right. I dont understand why these videos dont speak about the whole truth.
The concept that someone can be that ignorant to others feelings is so foreign to me because I’m constantly making sure I’m being mindful of others and try to be aware of how the people around me are feeling. It’s hard to understand the narcissistic thought process.
Traits of my covert narcissist ex: (an introvert narc)
- degrades me (always telling me the reason im not getting better is because im not doing enough/not enough)
- sad boi manipulative
- doesnt have good relationship with family
- didnt introduced me to parents rightfully (like no connection)
- buys me gifts then uses them against me ("after all the things i bought you, youre gonna act that way?!")
- threatens me to leave his place and throws away my stuff when in rage (or just mad at me for something I did)
- says he loves me but doesnt make me feel safe (sudden rage, shouting, etc)
- tantrums (when in rage, or doesnt get what he wants)
- asking for sex in inappropriate times and days. (in the middle of the night/tired)
- gets extremely jealous with other guys (even though I dont talk to them)
- sneaks on my phone when im asleep
- gets irritated when I ask for a favor (like walking me home)
- doesnt want me to wear clothes that are too revealing / doesnt want me to wear make up so other guys wont want me or look at me (very insecure).
- doesnt trust me with his money (paranoid that i might steal from him)
- has very few friends and tells that some people are hard to be with.
- calls me names when angry (c*nt, b*tch, ho*ker)
- has a very quiet and timid personality
It's important to stress that this behaviour is the work of a malignant narcissist.
Regular people with high narcissistic tendencies tend to use these more as a defence mechanism when backed into a corner but people with npd do this for fun or purely out of spite
Really helpful, so hard to care for someone that is set out against you at every turn..
My first boyfriend was a narcissist. This information would have been extremely helpful a few months ago.
I'm really thankful for your work here on UA-cam and especially thank you for this video, I hope it can help somebody to fall in the same trap I fell in. 💕
i feel like i just watched a documentary about my relationship
My first thoughts when I saw this..
me too
Me: Am I a narcissist?
I kinda feel concerned about this, but I tell myself: I'm just overthinking.
Me: But what if I think I'm not a narcissist and that makes me a narcissist?!
Also Me: Dude, you're overthinking! If you think you're a narcissist then you're not!
Me: Am I a narcissist?
Others: Your not.
Me: .....ok....but I usually play the victim!
Others: at least your aware.
Me: I keep looking at the mirror!
Others: chillax
Me: Thanks
One guy: You have no idea what a narcissist is, do you?
Me: umm...
Guy: Edgy Teenager
Narcissists never doubt themselves... they think they're right all the time which proves that you're not one of them... chillax 😊
Lol literally me as I'm watching this
How did you read my mind......?? XD
That shit was fucking hilarious
I do all these behaviors and I hate it and I've had people confirm I do the behaviors in the video and I feel terrible and idk how to fix it
Perfect definition of my *so called* "best friend"