How Death Can Bring You Back to Life | Jodi Wellman | TEDxBYU
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- Опубліковано 3 лип 2024
- Do you know how many Mondays you have left... in life? You get 4,000 on average, and while the bad news is that you’re totally going to kick the bucket, the good news is there’s still time to live before you die. Learn how your mortality can motivate you to make the most of your precious time above ground. Time’s ticking. Jodi Wellman is a leading authority on living lives worth living. As a speaker and facilitator, she helps her clients live squander-free lives while they’re lucky enough to still be above ground - while cleverly beginning with the “big end” in mind. She named her business Four Thousand Mondays because it shines the light on the finite number of weeks we have to live like we mean it. Jodi holds a Master’s of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, where she is also an Assistant Instructor. As a certified coach with 25 years of corporate leadership experience, she helps executives, teams, and high performers work well and live even better. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
i have lived with SI for a very long time and it's a sure fire way to remind me that no - that's not what i actually want
We all go through challenges in life, its so nice to look back as a hero
another day, another challenge, that is life for you right there.
life is full of challenges that are set for us
I feel you , hope you are doing better
Death is not a popular topic of conversation. It can be unsettling for most people.
All the ways we have of distracting ourselves from real life have left us complacent, disassociated and bored. What are these distractions really for? What if everyone lived with actual consciousness, all the time ? We'd very soon realize there is a lot more to it than money and reproducing
I feel like the only thing people seem to care about is money
Money is just a faze, they never last forever
The worst thing is to worry about you income, and how you can grow it and buy something that should not have been buyed
Once we die there will be no money to take with us. So enjoy more life as we still can
there should never be ann unhealthy oppsesion with money in my opinion
This really is a brilliant mindset to take on and into our daily lives. We spend so much more time being dead than we do being alive, and we need to remember that in order to make the most of it!
Love that line about "spending so much more time being dead than alive"... sad but true!
I watched Jane (yes finally) thanks this is terrific...
so true jane, bravo.
how very true.
Great and beautiful advice, we must enjoy each new day, death can surprise us at any time, watching your videos motivates me to continue despite my problems, you are the basis of my improvement in this life, thank you very much for sharing this guy of content
This is a really powerful way of thinking. Kind of like starting at the end and working backwards.
Thanks for link!
Remember that you must die." The phrase has its origins in ancient Rome, where it is believed that slaves accompanying generals on victory parades whispered the words as a reminder of their commander's mortality, to prevent them from being consumed by hubris
Although it’s hard to imagine, what with our 24-hour news cycle that feeds on fatalities, death hasn’t always been such a terrifying prospect.
Many people use up their life savings in the last six months of their lives on ultimately futile medical interventions.
It’s a misconception that death is so scary. 99 percent of the deaths I have witnessed are calm and peaceful. It can be a beautiful experience.
When my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer it came with tremendous pain. When dealing with her own disease she created space in her mind to accept what she could not control. The death of a loved one remains challenging in moving on. Its a process that is individual and private. The outside may look like things are okay, but the feelings must be felt. Its wonderful to be courageous and its beautiful to be vulnerable.
yes truth there
I'm so glad you shared this. I am so sorry for your loss. I am inspired by your mother's acceptance of what she couldn't control; I hope this wisdom of hers helps in some way with your grief.
I feel the same way as you do when I lost someone very dear to me. Even up to this day, there are always times when I just sit down and remember the things we did together when she was still alive.
I'm grateful you shared this. My sincerest condolences for you at this time. You have my deepest sympathy and unwavering support. Wishing you peace, comfort, courage, and lots of love at this time of sorrow. My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.
I'm delighted you shared this with us. I am heartbroken for your loss. I admire your mother's acceptance of what she couldn't change; I hope this insight helps you cope with your sadness in some way.
When I was hit by a car a few years ago it was a real wake up call. Despite being in an induced coma for nearly 46 days, I am still so grateful it happened. I used to be so scared to take risks or try anything new, and now I want to try it all! I've stepped out of my comfort zone and am consistently presented with new opportunities. My perspective, my life, everything has changed and I am honestly just so happy to hear this articulated so well. Thank you Jodi!
I am moved by your story. 46 days in a coma... wow, wow, wow. I love hearing that it helped you live with more bravery and gusto.
It's definitely interesting to think about, the way some people would perceive how others are 'wasting' their lives but really they're having the best time doing whatever it is. Who is anyone to say that someone else isn't living their life to the fullest?
I 133% agree with you! I love that vitality and meaning are relative, and one person's version of an astonishing life can be totally different than someone else's. We get to choose what a "life well-lived" means to us, and then hopefully go and live that life.
Regardless of how many Mondays they've live when they die every life matters and should be celebrated for the miracle it was.
So well said!
Jodi Wellman YOU’VE GOT SOME STUFF! The world needs more of you!
Oh B, thank you thank you thank you. 😘
I agree!
These comments are so fitting following the memorial for our brother Dave this week end. He was barely 67- cancer cheated him out of some Mondays. He lived fully- until he couldn't. Yes, death is a great motivator.
I'm sorry to hear about your brother passing on, Bonnie... and also inspired that he lived it up. I appreciate you sharing your story.
Talking with someone about these feelings - a partner, a dear friend, a spiritual advisor, someone you trust - can help you process these feelings so that they no longer weigh you down. It may take many tries, but can help you feel that a burden has been lifted. It can help you move on to care for other physical and emotional tasks that are part of the end of life. There are many important tasks at the end of life, but coming to terms with the losses is one of the most painful.
SO well framed; thank you
Thank you FATHER GOD for your messages
as someone who has always self-sabotaged and had this wish, it is true - it can make you want to do better if you come face to face with your mortality...not so great if you dont
Yes! Let's come face to face with our mortality, indeed!
Oh Jodi my heart goes out to you... it's so hard to navigate the world in a satisfying way when you're living with an eating disorder.
Totally totally true. Fortunately I'm in a better place with food now, and I hope that others with disorders know there is hope for a full life, beyond the addiction.
There's a lot of inspiration in this talk Jodi, sometimes it's easy to get caught up in our struggles and forget what a beautiful gift life is
You're so right! It's tempting to get caught up in the negative spiral, when we have to snap out of it and say "I GET TO BE ALIVE"!
@@jodiwellmanfourthousandmondays Absolutely, and we're the only ones who have the power to snap ourselves out of it! I forget that part sometimes too lol
Once upon a time I was the most self absorbed and selfish person... 4 weeks in hospital with a flesh eating bug and nearly losing my leg and WOW... I can't believe how awful I was and have really had to teach myself to be compassionate with myself and others. Wouldn't be here if I hadn't gone through that I don't think. Thank you Jodi!
I am so moved by your story. Thank you for sharing it... it helped me to imagine myself in that situation. What a perspective-changer! Glad you're healthy again.
“Remembering that we are going to die is the secret to a well-lived life.”
“Death is life’s change agent.”
I think I currently have 2734 Mondays left (if I live to 91).
Love the idea of the “roar of awakening.”
What a fantastic talk!
Thank you Andy! You were an incredible coach along the way!
Jodi lighten up we all make choices in our lives and who can say that we squandered our time. No one has the right to judge.
Love your healthy perspective!
You can have a "meaningful life" by being kind to everyone you encounter every day.
Such a good point
This talk is brilliant. For 38 years I have lived a very vital and blessed life. The blessings came with more & more people I taught information that changed their lives. That is why when my friends said "what if you die of covid?" I replied that I have lived my purpose and know I have made a difference in thousands of people's lives. Because of that, I am not scared of graduating from this dimension. I especially enjoy helping people live their purpose and feel Astonishingly Alive. Thanks Jodi
I'm inspired by the way you find peace in your purpose, Summer!
Death is such a natural part of life, it's hard to understand why it's become so tangled up and perceived like it's the worst thing to happen to a person. It's only sad for the people left behind but within that we should shift our thinking and learn to celebrate rather than grieve
Great point 😊
I like the idea of tapping into our regrets in advance in order to prevent them, but there's difficulties within that like, how do you know ahead of time what you're going to care about for the rest of your life?
truth
Such a good question. I agree that our needs and priorities evolve as we age (look up socioemotional selectivity theory to nerd out if you want!), and I also think the best we can do is to take action on things that matter today. It might not matter as much down the road (to have written that book or to have travelled to Peru, for example), but at least we'll have lived in accordance with our current values.
I love this talk... I used to get really caught up in the nihilism of how we're all going to die and nothing really matters but this is sort of acknowledging that in a positive way
Depending on the circumstances death can be a celebrated as a wonderful release from pain.
I have found that taking the hits, allowing myself to "squander" for a bit has always helped me rise a bit stronger and taller for the next moment of fleeting happiness.
This is such a great insight. I agree that there is a right dose of unplugging/ squandering/ zoning out, and it's different for each person. I appreciate you mentioning this!
"A squander free life" means something unique for each of us. Sometimes it takes adversity to find it.
I agree with you wholeheartedly; it's often through hardship that we really focus on living like we mean it
I love this talk and I'm all for being encouraged to live with a little more joy and awareness
“It seems as though our fear of death is rivaled only by our fear of living.” 🤯whoa. That went deep.
Life is a wonderful gift we've all been given, thank you universe for bringing me here and for however many Mondays I have.
SO beautifully said; thank you!
I feel like this would be a very valuable talk for those of us who are permanently stuck in a rut
Thank you! I like the idea that all ruts are temporary, because we can dig ourselves out of them :)
It wasn't until I thought I wasn't far off from ending it all, thankfully, that low of lows helped me to see light that has now given me purpose and motivation to pursue my passions along side a renewed sense of energy and drive!
It's really true that the lowest of lows can help us see what's worth living for. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you Jodi! That point of no return, whether it be our own mortality or our created reality, if we really want it, that is the time to truly make a red hot go of what we REALLY want.
I'm smitten by your line about making "a red hot go of what we REALLY want"!!
There's that saying, "nobody is getting out of here alive". Though there is much to say about the quality of life we live.
I couldn't agree more, David
Wow! So moving, thought-provoking and revitalizing! Really makes you think about the life you're currently living. Jodi, you're AMAZING! So incredibly proud of you! What an experience! Thanks for this very special reminder to live a life of vitality!
Thank you for the support, Justine!
Bringing forward all your decisions in life
Time waits for no one and realizing the massive sense of urgency with time
There is nothing more beautiful than an awakening. This is a wonderfully motivating delivery to snap out of an illusion.
Thank you Josef... I like your reference to an illusion. It IS an illusion that we'll have all the time in the world to live it up!
I have always lived by the saying "better to regret something you did do, rather than something you didn't"
Loved this talk!
Thank you @Audrey... I try to live by that adage, too!
I think a balance is important. It's in our DNA to become comfortable and not take risks - sometimes this gets equated to just doing the same thing and not stepping outside our comfort zones and then very quickly that turns into this zombie like state of living, it happens without us even noticing.
Such a valuable point. We have to work against our default setting, don't we?!?!
it's scary how much time seems to speed up the older I get. I'm realizing more and more how important it is to make the best of opportunities while I have them.
Such a good point that time seems to speed up as we age; thanks for highlighting that, and how we must get on with the business of living!
This talk is awesome Jodi and much needed for me at the moment, thank you.
I'm so glad it resonated :)
Not what I expected and I'm glad I watched this the whole way though. Really really good.
great send thank you
The gift is the brilliant and talented collaboration between the two of you!
This should be seen more, just brilliant.
Thank you Thomas ☺️
Fantastic talk Jodie. Death doesn't have to be this sad, looming thing.
Right ... we can use the idea of it to our advantage (and even poke fun at it)!
I love this talk Jodi, such good techniques for not taking life for granted.
Thank you Avery 😌
Sometimes death can be a lot to deal with emotionally - especially if it's a sudden or unexpected death. I think remembering stuff like this is a really helpful way to navigate life so that those regrets are minimised.
Such a helpful point.
I love everything about this message. Too many of us are afraid to even think about death...but maybe you're right, maybe that's because we're more afraid to live. I propose watching this every damn day; it would certainly motivate you to do that thing you're avoiding! Jodi is a tremendous speaker and this isn't just thoughtful and inspiring, it's scientific. Fantastic talk, thank you.
Thank you for such kind words, Becka!
I also wasted a lot of time with bad coping mechanisms. I'm glad I came to the awareness that I need to make up for that lost time or I'll end up regretting it when I get older.
I'm so glad you woke up to life, Vera! Cheers to regret-free living.
I think it's really important to keep this stuff in mind! It also kind of ties in to why we should talk about death openly and healthily.
SO true! We treat death like it's a taboo topic and yet the idea of it can be so helpful towards living with intention
Jodie's talk is a wonderful portrayal of how to be present in your life and embrace your mortality
Thank you!
I was brush by death few times and last time it was in 2017 l learn from this experience great staff and now after 4years I'm living my life to the fullest I'm not afraid of death because it is gently transition to another existence the better one indeed
Fascinating that you've had multiple brushes with death... so glad they have helped you live more fully
life is a beautiful gift but we all have a used by date that once we have hit, it is very hard to find joy in things.
I like your point about life being a beautiful gift :)
I try to just think of the fact that we're dead for so much longer than we are alive but this is also a nice reminder to not take it for granted
Ha! Great point!
It's so easy to just cruise through our time here, kinda sad that it's only things like death that will jarr us out of our rut
That's so true! We do cruise, don't we? I've always loved the line that "if you're cruising it means you're going downhill." Let's commit to less cruising and more living (unless we GO ON cruises in cool places, of course :))
My first real encounter with the death of a loved one absolutely rocked me. It was such a shock and it just really changed how I felt about the world.
Blanche, I'm sorry to hear about your loss - that's so hard. I get that it would change your perspectives. Hopefully you feel a bit of that carpe diem mentality amidst your mourning.
Mind blowing! Love the way the speaker has connected death to living a colourful life..
Thank you Veen... I've been thinking about the idea of vivid color/ colour more and more these days. So glad it resonated with you.
Excellent, very enlightening video, for the intuitive way of explaining how death can bring you back to life
I appreciate that!
Profound messages and insights! Brilliant talk!!! You nailed it, JW!!!
I so appreciate that, SS!!
In my humble opinion: Death makes life pointless. only when I felt invincible did I actually live. Thanks for your input and opinion. At least you had the wherewithal to get this recorded into history. God bless. 🎶
I love reading about your alternative perspective... this makes for such good discussion! Thank you. I'll keep this way of thinking in mind as I talk with groups, knowing that a dose of invincibility just might be motivating some folks :)
This is a really inspiring talk Jodi, thank you for bringing such passion into your talk.
Thank you for this kind comment!
Nice, Jodi this is a very good way of reframing death into something positive.
I appreciate that. The more we accept and "de-fang" death, the better we live.
Inspiring! Worth watching!
I really appreciate that, Winn!
Very great talk, and living makes me smile.
Living makes me smile too, Jase!
Most people have a bucket list and strive to do as many of those things as possible before they die. I don't think people actively squander their time.
I'm right there with you, agreeing that we don't intend to waste our time. Some months fly by in a blur, though, and it would be cool to pay a little more attention to whether we're living wider and deeper, and be honest with ourselves whether we've crossed something off our bucket lists in a while. Life can get in the way of ... LIFE😉!
There's a lot to unpack within this though. There's a reason people become complacent and just... comfortable within their lives. We're not encouraged to be in that 'carpe diem' mindset at all times
That's such a good point; sometimes our families/ friends/ workplaces/ cultures don't exactly encourage us to get out there and live it up. I think we need to take the reins.
You gotta love Monday's! Not sure I want to be counting them though
Seeing this talk today was like a little gift from the universe
Made my day to read that, Erik!
Yes I have many could of should of books and then I had to examine them... I realized my drive wasn't so much about what I wanted, but what I thought I should want. At this stage in my life my only regret is I didn't pay attention to the present moment, it was more like a list of to do's, or at some stage it might even have been a bucket list. Desire for more, or doing something better, different etc, left me grateful, yet empty and exhausted. I don't care how many Monday's I have left, I want inner peace and joy in the day I have now and each day. And yes I could die in any moment, as that is as true as living.
What a helpful insight, that sometimes our desires for "more" can be exhausting. I like your point about wanting inner peace and joy; thank you for sharing 😌.
Depression and anxiety are so rampant though sometimes I think the majority of people are looking forward to death
Talk about a reframe and shifting an old way thinking, and might I add living!
Sometimes we need a reframe to live like we mean it, right?!
Some people are intrigued by death and simply see it as a continuation of life. I'm quite excited about what my future has in store!
I love that openness to experience!
Thank you for your brilliant words Jodi. You are so inspiring !
Thank you Natalie! You inspire me to be honest and real.
Inspiring! Jodi is a great speaker.
Thank you for making my day!
Realizing that since we are all on a dying process, each day is actually a second chance to live
Oh wow- what a fascinating perspective!
Speaking of 'spark plugs' she has the kind of great energy that wakes me up.
I have to say the first time I lost someone unexpectedly it affected me to the point where I definitely took life more seriously afterwards. Not in a, nothing's funny anymore kind of way, just everything FELT.... more? Maybe I just wasn't taking things for granted anymore.
Well said. I'm sorry for your loss, even though it sounds like it helped jolt you into living with more intention.
Adding value to living. Thank you.
I like that sum up about "adding value to living"... thank you!
She is Brilliant. Super communicator with an amazing message. This should be played in schools across the globe. Especially now, in the time of screen addiction.💪🔥💫🌟
What kind words; thank you for your support!
I resonate so much with regretting the things we don't do.. am definitely going to work towards that edit of my life where I'm taking things off that list instead of adding to it.
Yes! Let's edit our list of potential regrets, indeed!
This talk really is an inspiration.
Thank you, Ed. I'm truly encouraged to hear that :)
When you've been given a certain amount of time to live with some sort of an end date, all of sudden a world of appreciation opens up. Funny how that option is available to us everyday.
I so agree, @Elliot... we have a constant opportunity to wake up!
I really like the concept of 'widening your life with vitality'
Thank you, Dak. It really is possible to add more width!
This is a really interesting talk and I think we do often forget that our time on this planet is finite! Embrace that fact and make the most of things.
Well said! It's so easy for us to take our days for granted, isn't it?
Well done Jodi! Thank you or taking us on your Four Thousand Mondays journey, so we don't take our lives for granted ...for reminding us of the power of life by accepting our inevitable death. You've inspired me to embrace my vitality with gusto!!!
I really appreciate that, Ashley... thank you!
Everything is a matter of perspective and I think this is a pretty healthy one
Cheers to that :)
What a smart topic, and so well delivered!
Thank you ☺
This is a really great talk Jodi... I feel like my head is swimming with all these new thoughts and ideas and it's really wonderful. Thank you for igniting something in me!
You are SO very welcome ... enjoy the head-swimming thoughts of how the Grim Reaper is actually our friend!
wow, this showed up at the right time, great TED Jodi!
I'm so glad the timing was right for you. Johnson!
@@jodiwellmanfourthousandmondays it was, great talk Jodi!
JOHNSON! I can't believe it took me so long to watch this. TA!
We do the best we can with the information we have. We're all going to die with and without regrets.
Right! Being human means being perfectly imperfect. All we can do is influence/control what's within our realm, like engaging in life to prevent regrets-in-the-making.
Confronting death and realizing how insignificant we all are
Yes! Like that feeling we get looking out over the vastness of the ocean or at a star-filled sky... we're so small... yet our lives feel so big. Let's widen and deepen them while we're here!
Jodi, thank you for sharing your brilliance, your passion, and your wisdom. This TedX talk is fantastic and very inspiring.
Mina, I so appreciate your kind words!
This was incredible!!! What an amazing perspective to get us to realize we only have so many Mondays left to make our Dreams a Reality ! You are a wonderful motivator making things so much clearer. I know now and accept that yes we will die! So I better get to My Life worth living list & DO IT! Thank you !!!!!!
I so appreciate your kind words and support, Lesia! Yes, let's get on with the living!
@@horacefriester, I'm humbled! Thank you 😌.
Awesome talk Jodi, I think this ties in to the more sensible ways people are starting to approach death and the conversations we're having around it
Thank you, Justine! We are coming around as a society, slowly but surely 🙂
Really important talk.
T h a n k y o u !
What an amazing talk. I LOVE it
Thank you so very much, Gesine! ☺
Yes yes, I so agree with this! All I needed to hear was the first two sentences. I'm still listening.
Thank you so much... glad the first sentences grabbed you!
I needed this inspo today, what a brilliant perspective.
thanks for sending me the inspo
Deciding that any major life challenge will no longer be a disempowering moment in life
Good point!
Great talk Jodi! We're so distracted by other peoples lives and the mundane aspects of our own that we can easily fall in to a rut and stop appreciating what we have!
That's so true... it's all too easy to take our lives for granted. Worth making an effort to stop and appreciate our time.