How common is miscarriage | What happens after miscarriage? | Qi Medicine Acupuncture Melbourne

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In this video registered Chinese Medicine practitioner Dr. Zoe Rankin explores the question how common is miscarriage, and also looks at what happens after miscarriage.
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Let’s talk about miscarriages.
I see so many women coming to see me after a miscarriage and the heart break is real, the grief is strong and confusion into why or what’s wrong with my body waves above.
The next words that come from this is that “the doctor told me it’s very common, why didn’t I know about this?”
And that there, is the reason that I would like to open this topic, how common is miscarriage, up for conversation.
To let you know that there are so many of us that have had losses and that you are not alone, nor do you need to do this on your own.
Why is paying attention to miscarriage important?
Pregnancy loss is one of the hardest things a woman may experience, and without the proper support, it can be detrimental to the mother, mothers, and fathers.
In Chinese medicine, we believe that a miscarriage can be more serious than giving birth, as you not only go through a labour, yes, it is still considered a labour, but you also go through the terrible anguish of losing a child.
So maybe you have suffered from, or are a loved one of one that is coping after miscarriage?
You may have been trying to fall pregnant for 6 months, or not trying at all.
Wherever you may find yourself in the process of a losing a child, know that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
Wherever you have come from, wherever you are heading, miscarriage will affect everyone differently.
But there are many things about losing a child that resonates with nearly everyone, and these are the feelings and processes of emotions that may occur.
What is it that you are feeling?
Common emotions you may feel after pregnancy loss are, but not limited to:
Shock - no one expects or wishes to ever lose their child, no matter what stage of pregnancy or life.
Guilt - feelings that in some way it may have been your fault, or failure in keeping your baby safe.
But please remember that it is almost never your fault, and that there is generally nothing more you could have done. The most common reason for miscarriage is the development of the embryo had chromosomal abnormalities which is based on chance, and nothing you could have changed.
Empty - Many people consider you become a mother at the time of conception, when the egg and sperm become one.
Whether you share this view or not, pregnancy loss leads to emptiness in a variety of ways.
You may feel physical emptiness through the loss of a foetus, or emptiness through the loss of motherhood. But please remember, sensations of motherhood can be experienced without necessarily carrying the child to term.
Loss of control - you are not able to control conception, and you weren’t able to control miscarriage. It is normal to be feeling as though you have lost control at this time- which is perfectly ok.
Jealousy - this one cuts deep.
It may be that you see a pregnant woman walk past, or that one of your friends is pregnant. You feel jealous, and that may make you feel ashamed. With all your might, you try to be happy for them.
Please don’t beat yourself up, we are all on our own journey and it is a natural human emotion to feel jealous and resentful. Big deep breaths, it will get easier.
Fear - everyone faces fear, especially when it comes to conceiving again.
What if I go through this again?
What if I cannot ever hold a pregnancy?
What is wrong with me?
I work with so many women through this, and there is a very low percentage that do miscarry again.
I always explain that we are doing so much to support you through this, and we always investigate into the reasons why you lose a baby.
If the body wasn’t ready, it wouldn’t fall pregnant in the first place, which leads back to the most common reason being the egg and sperm just didn’t connect and have the right genetic makeup to continue.
Loneliness - Miscarriage is a lonely time for many, as many feel the need to ‘hide’ this form their friends, family and peers.
Which leads me to the next topic around how common miscarriage is, and why you may feel all alone.
How common is miscarriage?
I believe that due to the fact that we keep our pregnancies a secret for the first 12 weeks, the people around us generally don’t hear about the loss we may face if in this first trimester.
But have you ever really thought about why we don’t tell anyone until 12 weeks?
I know that many of you who have been trying are ecstatic and would love to share the amazing news with all of your family, friends and the people around you. So why don’t we tell everyone as soon as we get the positive pregnancy test?