After he told me about his affair, I felt completely unsafe and scared of him, I really thought he would do something to harm me, to get me out of the way and just didn't care about my well being. He never hurt me physically, but he also didn't care about my well being. He left and after a while I got corona, but he didn't care, never asked me how I was or anything. He doesn't want to get back together and neither do I. I have absolutely no faith in him. I just can't put myself through all that work for nothing, it's too much and I'm too tired and hurt.
@@elmamarks3525 , How do you begin to believe someone who has been cheating from the time that we met? He couldn’t give me the truth early on His addictions were with him years before we met. Now, 40+ years later, and I am learning so much more about addictions and myself.
This video came on the perfect day! 6months we've been working on getting through this and i just found out he had talked to her again for a few but he claims only because she wouldn't stop trying to contact him...so he claims he talked to her only to try and get the point across that he's happy and doesn't want her. I see it completely different! I said just keep ignoring her! So I feel he talked to her again because he wanted to and there's more going on . He talked to her for a few months then blocked her..i just feel im being fooled again and idk what to do. My mind is all over the place i want to believe him
I’ve been watching your videos not as someone who has been through infidelity but as a spouse of someone battling addiction and associated behaviours. I think it also applies to my feelings and how I felt betrayed and am struggling to trust again. Thanks for such an amazing resource.
Its not even just relationships, its friendships, and family as well. Trust isnt even a big thing as much anymore and theres more to it. Thats why i keep to myself and only trust family and the certain few within family. Not to say that i dont have anyone in my life just not many. Im so aware of who i trust now.
Thanks so much for this one. I am in the initial stages of divorce after 20 years of marriage and regardless of it going through it not, some great insight here to help in understanding why we are at where we are. Clarity is a gift and thanks for helping shed light on this topic.
Yessss!! 4 yrs post DD and being manipulated by him and his seemingly genuine recovery efforts so many times makes it very hard to think his current efforts are anything more than what I've experienced in the past. Beginning an out of home therapeutic separation very soon (in home does NOT work) and though I'm hoping for the best, I don't foresee him remaining committed and showing initiative in his recovery once I'm no longer in his presence. though he says the right things, I don't really think that he can process my not giving him the adulations he feels he deserves. He refuses to see that it's no longer about his acting out behaviors but about his 'acting in' aka the emotional, verbal and psychological abuse and the change of his heart condition....
I can’t trust cuz he is lying about his affair and all the things I know he had done behind my back. And he swears he is telling the truth. I know what I red and had his phone cloned and he says he doesn’t care what his phone said it was a lie. I’ll never trust if he can’t tell me the truth and take accountability for all his doings
I am attempting to work through you Bootcamp and am having a whole lot of difficulty. My wife doesn't want to participate and i am seemingly just stuck doing all of this my self. You mention there is a community on your forum page. I cannot seem to find it. Please, i am true need of help here. Please.
“Don’t use the pain of the past to amplify your fear of the future”……..great words!!!
Apologies and promises are words, actions past or present speak louder than words!
Amen
After he told me about his affair, I felt completely unsafe and scared of him, I really thought he would do something to harm me, to get me out of the way and just didn't care about my well being. He never hurt me physically, but he also didn't care about my well being. He left and after a while I got corona, but he didn't care, never asked me how I was or anything. He doesn't want to get back together and neither do I. I have absolutely no faith in him. I just can't put myself through all that work for nothing, it's too much and I'm too tired and hurt.
Thanks and it’s difficult believing a person who lied for a year about everything and still blames you for all that has happened
Hmmm true . It’s very difficult. Am going through this now
Try 13 years, .. o wait... or is it 11 year... or maybe 6 years........
@@elmamarks3525 , How do you begin to believe someone who has been cheating from the time that we met? He couldn’t give me the truth early on His addictions were with him years before we met. Now, 40+ years later, and I am learning so much more about addictions and myself.
Dealing with a Habitual Liar for so many years turns trusting someone, very difficult & well frankly just not worth it anymore.
So great....you articulate exactly how I feel as a betrayed spouse! This is my struggle after his 30 years of lies...
We just had this discussion last night. As the BS, thank you for validating the feelings I am having and for also helping me see the other side.
Wow great stuff Wayne. Hit the nail on the head. Intentions vs behaviors is so so true. God bless
This video came on the perfect day! 6months we've been working on getting through this and i just found out he had talked to her again for a few but he claims only because she wouldn't stop trying to contact him...so he claims he talked to her only to try and get the point across that he's happy and doesn't want her. I see it completely different! I said just keep ignoring her! So I feel he talked to her again because he wanted to and there's more going on . He talked to her for a few months then blocked her..i just feel im being fooled again and idk what to do. My mind is all over the place i want to believe him
I feel what your saying.. Why did you block her. Sometimes you can see if they are in contact with one another that way.
Did he stop?
I’ve been watching your videos not as someone who has been through infidelity but as a spouse of someone battling addiction and associated behaviours. I think it also applies to my feelings and how I felt betrayed and am struggling to trust again. Thanks for such an amazing resource.
Its not even just relationships, its friendships, and family as well. Trust isnt even a big thing as much anymore and theres more to it. Thats why i keep to myself and only trust family and the certain few within family. Not to say that i dont have anyone in my life just not many. Im so aware of who i trust now.
Don’t use the pain of the past to amplify your fear of the future.
It can be a difficult thing to do, but I have to admit that it sounds like wise advice. Onward and upward.
Thanks so much for this one. I am in the initial stages of divorce after 20 years of marriage and regardless of it going through it not, some great insight here to help in understanding why we are at where we are. Clarity is a gift and thanks for helping shed light on this topic.
Yessss!! 4 yrs post DD and being manipulated by him and his seemingly genuine recovery efforts so many times makes it very hard to think his current efforts are anything more than what I've experienced in the past. Beginning an out of home therapeutic separation very soon (in home does NOT work) and though I'm hoping for the best, I don't foresee him remaining committed and showing initiative in his recovery once I'm no longer in his presence. though he says the right things, I don't really think that he can process my not giving him the adulations he feels he deserves. He refuses to see that it's no longer about his acting out behaviors but about his 'acting in' aka the emotional, verbal and psychological abuse and the change of his heart condition....
I love Wayne’s videos sooo much
I seriously love this channel ❤️🙏🏼❤️
So much informational gold here.
You are amazing
This resounded so loud with me.
I can’t trust cuz he is lying about his affair and all the things I know he had done behind my back. And he swears he is telling the truth. I know what I red and had his phone cloned and he says he doesn’t care what his phone said it was a lie. I’ll never trust if he can’t tell me the truth and take accountability for all his doings
Well put!!!
It’s not up to me to just trust him again. He needs to earn it. He doesn’t get that. He thinks it’s my problem. Any suggestions?
how do you trust again. it's been four yrs but I still can't totally trust him again
I am attempting to work through you Bootcamp and am having a whole lot of difficulty. My wife doesn't want to participate and i am seemingly just stuck doing all of this my self. You mention there is a community on your forum page. I cannot seem to find it. Please, i am true need of help here. Please.
feel free to reach out to our team at info@hope-now.com with your questions!
You can’t make someone else do what they need to heal. Heal yourself and you will be better. Best to you in your recovery
It’s same with me , I am the betrayed but he doesn’t want to go for any counselling 😔
Hello. Great content. How do I reach out for help?
Hi there, if you have a question for our team you can reach us at info@hope-now.com!
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