Do you guys like the new angle we took on this topic? You may notice we go more in depth with each point, however, let us know if you prefer the shorter format.
I hate the fact society wants us to feel like you HAVE to be in a relationship. It doesn’t work like that. I see a lot of kids nowadays falling in love at such a young age, and I didn’t know why. I like learning about topics of love, even though I am aro-ace. Sadly, nothing lasts forever :(
Nothing last forever, and society tends to have that influence on people... No one is require to be in a relationship, if anything it is a choice that you make when you are ready
@Ghost Chill I am married now and love it, but it is hard work. Being single doesnt require as much effort and is good in its own right. It is extremely annoying though when people pressure you into being in a relationship, and it was usually my family. I had a history of being single and not being able to maintain long-lasting relationships, and having the occasional fling. So in 2020, it got to the point where my mom even set me up on a couple dates. I went on them reluctantly, because I was sick of hearing about it. The dates went fine, but they didnt amount to anything. My moms idea of who I liked was accurate, mostly due to my interests and the woman I had brought home in the past when I still lived with them. I dont think people should be so pressured to get into a relationship, because my wife came into my life naturally and it wasnt so forced. Sometimes it takes people a long time to find the right person, sometimes people are okay with being alone for their lives (should probably at least have friends since humans typically need a little social interaction), and thats alright. As long as someone is content, then thats all that really matters. If someone isnt okay with the way they are living, then they should change it for the better.
@Ghost Chill Given that perspective, I can respect your position and choices. Sometimes its not worth burdening other people with our lives. The most important thing is to love yourself, before you can love others. Ive never been big on having a lot of friends, but it is nice having a small circle of friends I can trust, along with my wife, the love of my life. Sometimes it is difficult to trust others since Ive been burned and screwed over before too in friendships and romantic relationships. At the end of the day we only have ourselves to rely on 100%. I have spent the last few years trying to better myself, my situation, and the people I surround myself with. It just isnt worth having people around if they dont really care about you. Id much rather be alone than be around people that are negative or bring me down in any way. If I woke up tomorrow alone, I would be a little sad, but id get over it since ive always been okay with being by myself too.
The most difficult thing is to leave the person u love for their happiness and still be by their side to help them to support them while seeing their happy face which makes u fall even harder
@@Psych2go I believe that they mean that if you love someone, to make them happy, you have to let them go or not involve yourself with them in ways you'd like. In a harsh reality, an ideal world is an impossibility
@@MashiroRedo there's probably some circumstances to that too. Depends on each relationship. A guy I dated (but we didn't officially break up, just drifted apart) said they still loved me, but on our second...and probably last...date, I told them that maybe it's better this way. For my own reasons, I didn't think he deserves to be with someone like me (someone who's indecisive, unsure, confused), and I told him that. There's also family reasons...and other things. We left off as still being friends though. My mind fancies the what ifs, after all he was the guy I grew to love (I don't fancy the idea much because I'm rarely attracted to anyone; real life or celebrity). But perhaps letting him go, and having him let me go, was good for the both of us in the end.
Loneliness from attachment issues and the lack of dopamine when your partner isn't there is a lot, too. I experienced it for a long time, but I eventually found a balance in it. Allowed myself to feel depressed and lonely for a bit so I could find other things that make me happy. It was really difficult though
Hi there, do you mind elaborating on that? How do you balance it, and how does being depressed and lonely help you to find other things that make you happy? 😊 I'm also feeling the same things so it would be really helpful if you could help to further explain it 😁
@@naomiepham2430 you have to find hobbies or stuff to occupy your time when they are not around. Nothing compares to the joy of being around my wife (when shes happy haha), so I tend to get a little depressed when shes not around. I just find other things to do in order to take my mind off her, whether that be playing call of duty, working, watching youtube, golfing, hunting (I hunt when shes asleep too), shooting at the range, hanging out with friends, driving around, running errands or shopping, etc. Just try to find something that is enjoyable enough to occupy the mind and get a little excitement. A lot of the stuff I do when shes not around are just my hobbies and activities that I had before I even met her. Of course you can always look into getting new hobbies as well. Of course I still think about her a lot, especially if im not in the middle of an activity but I just learned to deal with it and slow your thoughts down (ive always been good at meditating and calming the mind). When I am lonely and bored, I just chill and eventually find something to do. Its also rewarding when I get to see her again, because if you are around someone 24/7 it becomes so regular.
As someone who's experienced this and has developed an aversion to dating, I can agree with this. Love is not easily achieved and most people start out thinking it is. Constructing a healthy relationship is crucial, yes, but knowing when to let someone go especially if you two definitely have no hope of a future, that's important too.
I grew up afraid of marriage due to experiencing my perants and grandparents divorcing. now I don't know how to start a relationship without being afraid of the relationship destroying it's self. I want to date but seeing it fail before I try makes it hard
How do we know that the relationship has no future btw? And how to know when to fight for it or let it go? I really have struggle about this if someone can help me
@@roseducharme3836 I mean it did become that on the last stages of the whole mess, she would basically not want me to be romantic to her, or call her my baby as I used to, nor ask about how she's feeling about forgiving me for basically one argument that she ever since could never get over nor forgive me for, even though it wasn't too serious nor about us at all So I basically would just talk as neutrally as she would to me, and occasionally break telling her I felt incredibly lonely and like she didn't love me and she would get angry at me saying how she sacrificed so much for me and that she's doing the best she can for me but that it's never enough, that I'm selfish and I'm making her out to not be trying at all yeah that was unbearable
Timestamps 1). Love can be intoxicating 1:16 2). The younger the love, the harder the fall 2:31 3). The risk of being cancelled 4:03 4). Married people can still feel lonely 5:46 Hope this helps you out.💙💙💙💙
Risk of being cancelled. The fact you spent less that half a minute on this psych to go shows how out of touch you guys truly are in these modern times.
1. 1:16 Love can be intoxicating 2. 2:31 The younger the lover the harder the fall 3. 4:03 Risk of being cancelled 4. 5:45 Married people can still feel lonely
"It isn't a feeling it is a practice" made feel such a big amount of relief. My couple decided to take a time off (in general, not just with me) to fix some personal problems and become a better person overall, and these days I've been feeling off, mainly because she was you could say part of my daily life...and i was feeling so bad for wanting to interrupt her process and talk to her but hearing this just made me realize that i really just lack "practice" and due to that this process she is taking feels unnecessarily tiring. Still, I guess I'll also take this time off to work on this issue :) and hopefully we'll both be more mature once we go back to talking to each other
It's completely fine to take time apart to focus on yourself. Sometimes, it might be needed to not only strength the relationship but to learn more about yourself too
I’ve never been in a relationship, but during Covid lockdowns I decided to start working on myself. This resulted in me getting a lot of attention even though I’m not looking for relationships… I told one girl to look for someone else as I don’t feel ready, but she’s stubborn and willing to wait… 🤷♂️
Here's an extra harsh truth: there *isn't* "someone out there for everyone". You're not guaranteed to ever find someone who likes you back. Attraction is complicated, illogical, and unfair. So don't feel like you're an odd one out; romance is difficult and random, and that's a fact of life.
Romantic love is mostly a breeding process, but humans constantly forget that nature wants us to have lots of healthy babies, not a Hallmark worthy experience. I think this is why fwb type situations don’t last long.
I think this is true, but we also have to remember that whilst there isn't some special designated person for everyone on the globe, like some kind of soul mate we just have to find or else we're dommed, there are however, many, many people out there with whom we could have good, healthy, lasting and loving relationships. Literally quite a few people, based on compatability and goals and values etc. The key is finding those people.
@@heatherwoodley8244 Yes, but what I'm saying is that it isn't guaranteed you'll ever find a person like that, or that if you do, they may not feel the same way. It's obviously not guaranteed you'll find a soulmate, but it's also not guaranteed that you'll find *anyone* that would want to be in a relationship with you (and you with them).
@@Psych2go I honestly don't know. I tend to get really sad and depressed whenever my significant other is hanging with someone else and not me. I know she has other people in her life but IDK why I feel like this. Things haven't been going as smooth like they were before. We both love each other alot but idk how it explain it properly
hey that’s weird cause I’m kinda going through the same thing rn like I want her to be happy when she’s out with friends but she never seems to have time for me anymore like in the past 5 months I only talked to her 4 times so it’s weird cause she says she still loves me but never seems to wanna hangout anymore or really text me and lmk how she’s doing so I feel depressed when I can’t spend time with her like I use to and just don’t feel like I’m as close to her as I was before almost like she doesn’t care about me the same before and I don’t like that I feel jealous when she’s out with a guy friend more then me, sorry idk why I’m opening up so much just kinda wanted to vent cause it’s painful and i don’t really know what to do about it
Well to tell the truth I was afraid of love at first but now a days its hard to find true love for me and anyone else who my be reading this but let me tell you this "love is a great experience even if it hurts but thats why we learn alot of things trough love."
It took me decades to understand both my people-pleasing tendencies rooted in "Daddy issues" plus bullying, and my addiction to the highs of dopamine and oxytocin which, ironically, came from my super loving huggy Mom. Too many extremes on both ends. I had to learn to reign my emotional addictions in.
TBH I have passed through all these stages. I had learnt that if someone had ever broken your heart...love them more with those broken pieces. Do not let them down by any of your deeds.Never ever blame,curse or pass sarcasm in social media or in person. Have eye contact with them if you ever meet they again.If you feel comfortable hold their hand and have conversation. Let them feel your presence.Do not shout or howl over them.Have decency and maintain dignity coz if not now but once they had loved you from the core of their heart and your love is/was not so cheap that you speak evil or cheap to them on thier face. I believe if it's isn't love..it's isn't for forever.
I was in love a very long time ago. Now it's like people 'need' someone now. Need love, attention, etc. I need peace of mind and stability. I have to find and give that to myself now.
Damn...The timing Im literally having a breakdown rn because I just removed myself from someone I really loved from their life and it hurts me so much but at the same time I know this is the only way I can be at mental and physical peace
Unfortunately, that’s what we have to do sometimes, no matter how much we love someone. I hope you can get through this. It’s not easy to do but you should be proud for taking care of your well-being. ❤
Been there and done that myself, and it's because I've put myself in a better mental and physical state. It's working for me. Put yourself first and then you can be there for another.
It’s nice to see marriage brought up! Being in one that’s a “lonely marriage” and trying unsuccessfully for years to fix it, it’s good to set more realistic expectations for those looking to tie the knot
@@Psych2go thanks im trying, and yeah, he died because of suicide, thanks for dealing with mental health topics, I hope people can find help even if it is in this way.
@@lunek0 I’m so so sorry for your loss. That is very hard to deal with. I can’t imagine how painful it must be for you. My therapist told me that grief is the other side of love. The stronger the grief is, the stronger the love. Take your time to grieve and heal. ❤
With all those things that I already knew of some people are still wondering why I've always been unattracted by romantic relationships compared to my peers. Well managing people is already exhausting, you don't expect me to bear with this at my young age, do ya?
@@Psych2go english isn't the language that i speak with all the time so i didn't understand what you said one hundred percent but if you meant what's the moment that was the hardest on me i would say that it's not the moment that i broke up with her but rather the moment when i knew that she left me for Another guy although i always told that i trust her a lot and one last thing, i like your channel it really helped me and i wish you the best ❤️
+Psych2GoTv *Thanks for the list of adversities associated with love:* 1:15 (1) Intoxication potential 2:31 (2) Heavier distress for the low-experienced 4:03 (3) Cancellation risk 5:46 (4) Loneliness among the married
thank you very much, this was a video I really need to see and hear. this has meant a lot to me, and has significantly made things clearer and more easy to navigate in my life I am personally a teen who has been experiencing a hard time with love, and now seeing that maybe it isn't all that, especially for someone young, maybe I need to take a step away and consider if this is actually making me happy. thank you for posting these videos! I luv this channel!
I am an avid mental health awareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my UA-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💚💚
OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR ADDRESSING THE CANCELLED PART! I'm so sick of people getting cancelled over opinions, relationships, and anything of the above.
In a healthy relationship couples communicate, don’t lose touch with themselves, & know when to be selfish. With real love & not just infatuation, you’re going to question why you’re with your partner & if you still love them. That’s okay. In a healthy relationship 1/2 the time you love together. The other half is split into a 1/4. What happens during this period is that the love will be one sided. One person loves & the other accepts it. Sometimes you both of don’t feel like you love each other any more. During these hard times communicating & rebuilding your relationship is how you get through it. It’s not fun but it’s worth it. After that your relationship is stronger. It’s also important to remember that your partner shouldn’t make you feel like you’re incomplete without them, but they should make you feel like you are even better at being you with them because they help you learn & grow. But if you feel like you’re losing yourself in your relationship, you have more bad times than good, &/or you don’t feel like you have value without them, I strongly recommend that you do research on what unhealthy relationships look like & ask yourself if your relationship is harmful to you or the person you’re with. I hope this helpful to anyone in relationship or wanting to be in one. & for those of you who aren’t, that’s okay too. I want everyone to live their best lives ❤
Yes, love can be intoxicating but anything can. I almost lost the love of my life due to fear. Fear can also be very toxic. It almost brought the worst out of me until my lover confessed his Feelings to me. I was just too scared of rejection, so my Feelings literally made me sick but He saved me just in time and now we're in a relationship based on mutual love and respect. We even welcomed our first child a month ago.
Tbh, dating apps is the worst thing that ever happened. I hardly see anyone approach a person irl anymore. Also, after the last person I have dated, I lost hope.
Damn, reading the comments of this video I'm seeing people that fell in love and didn't end well, and I feel sorry for them. Same with me, I felt in love with a girl and still did nothing for years because of circumstances But now, especially this year, I learned and, even if things don't turn out the way I guessed, still I'm happy to have a good friend It will hurt badly, I know, either if we get together or not, because love for me means to stay with a person in the good and in the bad, because you find that someone that at the end of the day you're happy to stay with, either it's the first date or the 10 trillion time you see her/him. Either way, we're in a time where mental health is getting more and more considered, so do not esitate to call for help when needed
I mean from my experiences love has burned me bad that I had to be lonely for 3 years I didn't eat much, stop talking to people, hurt myself just a little bit, slept alot and got obsessed with burning paper. My first boyfriend only was obsessed with my money, my Second one was just a h*rny spass and well both did horrible acts to me now I'm fine but I'm just looking for the right guy
@@darthvader1793 nope sorry I only date guys my age or older sorry also I like goth and occult obsessed guys But I hope you find someone who will mahe you happy.
I’m still in high school and young so I might be overdramatic, but so far liking someone has taught me it only ruins friendships. I liked someone for like 2 years and then he just stopped talking to me, no explanations or anything. Then I liked someone in my friend group, we ‘got together’ because he pretended to like me and the loneliness our other friend felt made them SUPER depressed, and then I confessed to a friend because I just wanted to be honest, and hoped we could still be friends, and luckily we are but he didn’t wanna talk to me for the entire summer and I was convinced he hated me. ‘Love’ has made me so insecure and clingy and lonely, I just wish I was aromantic lol
Love is the second most powerful human emotion aside from fear. It brings the most joy, yet it can also cause the most pain. Pain that drives people to insanity. Edit: We might still be in an era of loneliness. And that could be because people have had enough of getting hurt. It's hard to trust Love now a days.
The biggest thing I learned about love… you gotta love yourself before you can truly give your heart to anyone else. It’s a harsh truth because so many of us harbor self hatred. Start loving yourself (not to the point of conceitedness) just get to where no matter where you are, you’re comfortable in you’re skin. Then you’re ready for love. Do what you gotta do to get to that point.
Perhaps, the reason can be that you are going to become the best version of yourself that it simply attracts her back into your life or someone even better!
Some people are really twisted and are just out there to form a close bond with someone as a tool to inflict harm on others, it's surprisingly common, and often difficult to detect until a lot of damage has already been done, stay safe out there everyone
I had my first relationship (and only, so far) from last year to early this year, aged 14...It was an honest and true love, at least from my side, but because of everything I'd been through, I didn't even know what my personality was and acted like a completely different person. The facade eventually faded when I became happier, but then her love started to fade too, because the facade was what she fell in love with. She became clingy and desperate because of her own issues and I couldn't let her go because I knew she needed me. Eventually she saw how much this was hurting me and broke up with me herself, in the kindest way she could. I still miss her a little sometimes...I think I always will. But all I can do now is hope that she's getting on ok, that she's happy and she's moved on. A part of me will always love that bright, energetic, emotive and kind girl.
Practice detachment and just enjoy the moments. Make memories. Keep an open heart. Know that nothing is guaranteed in life so you never know what may happen. To you and the other person. Just enjoy people and appreciate them. The good ones that is.
Love can be intoxicating…. Wow… I actually learned that the hard way. Found a crush, gotten jealous and made poor decisions and lost friends and the crush. I had to learn that the hard way as well. And now I learned to keep it in check and have to get it right now. I have learned to remain strong and remain cautious at all time. And yes. I also been canceled too because of it. I won’t lie. It sucks. To learn about this now. But better now then never. I am just focusing on myself and I am learning to deal with the mistakes I made and becoming a better person.
I saw a post on Facebook a little while ago that said "Just a reminder that you missed out on teen love and there's no going back." One of the comments was "Yeah but I was on cocaine, which is basically the same thing." LOL
Young love is like taping two bottles of nitroglycerin together to support each other. Neither side really knows how to handle a bump or agitation and if one goes unstable, you can guess what's about to happen to the other.
My first and only relationship to date was when I was 17... I'm not explaining everything because that would take hours but, let's say that at the end, when the bitter end came, I felt (and even sometimes now) that I wasted almost a decade of my life (there were some great moments too, ngl) and now, with all the date thing being a lot harder and being almost 28 ...I don't know what to do. It's a bit hard and scary for me to go out and know new people even if I want to 😔 Of course, I know that you don't really need a relationship to be happy but... I would be lying if I say I don't miss hearing a "hi darling, how was your day?" from time to time and sitting together on the couch watching some anime. Sorry for the text wall but these videos always helps me to express myself better 😅
Dating is so hard. I never really dated because I was going through my own stuff. I've finally gotten to the point where I feel confident enough to try...and it seems like no one is looking to really date. Seems far more like hook up culture or just looking for more friends/followers on social media. I haven't had what feels like a genuine interaction yet and I started trying like 5 years ago. Im 32 now. It can be a big downer when I get into the wrong head space. Keep it positive im sure you'll meet someone!
@@bestimmtkeinbot9793 haha thanks; not too much work today and I'm quite nervous because if my last package comes today (it should), I'm building my first PC 😁. And yeah, I try to keep just the good memories and it works most of the time, but some days it's still a bit difficult 😅
@@senpai16 thanks, I really appreciate that. Yeah, I agree...it looks like a lot of people nowadays are becoming more selfish every day that passes and want only a quick reward without commitment. Of course, not everyone is like that, and that's what gives me hope, but actual social media makes it a lot harder to find them (quite ironic if we remember what was the original purpose of social media 😅 )
I don't know what you've been through but you must've learned some valuable skills from those years and when the time comes that you're ready you can get back out there and be better than you ever were before.
Back in high school. I was once kept getting pressured to start a relationship almost constantly by my step-brother, while he's been phasing through one girl after another and all of his relationships barely lasted a week. And yeah, social media (especially twitter) have been a breeding ground of unforgiving, perfectionist, self-righteous toddlers who are possibly hypocrites.
*_Let's add this to our taught today!_* We should avoid hasty conclusion because of what somebody says about someone else. Don't be fooled by the illusion of wealth. Big houses, fancy cars, and designer clothes are not wealth. It's most likely debt. Wealth is freedom, 0ptions time & health. Appreciate where you’re in your journey. Even if it's not where you want to be. Every season serves a purpose. Never stop doing your best. Just because someone doesn't give you credit. When you’re weak, pray to God. When u re worried, pray 2 God. When you’re stressed, pray to God. When you are hopeless pray to God. God will put you where he wants you. Even if no one thinks you deserve the position. Your positive action combined with positive thinking results in success.
I really like your comment and you're right by saying wealth is freedom, options, time and health. I personally do not think praying to god will make things better, but I do think, to believe in him can give you the courage to take your OWN actions, to change your life to the better.
I fell in love with my best friend, with whom we have been communicating for 10 years. Confessed to him. But he has no romantic feelings for me. I'm just a friend to him. It's so hard to put up with this, my heart is simply torn to pieces. He said he'd think about it, but if he doesn't have feelings for me at all, it's unlikely to lead to anything. I don't even know what to do anymore. Love brings pain, a lot of pain. Think about whether you need it at all in your life.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that... it's true, love can be very painful. Did you give you a reason and how did he react when you confessed to him?
@@Psych2go Thank you very much, your words mean a lot to me! He was just more sentimental and caring than before. It seemed like he might also have feelings for me, but in the end I was just mistaken. Hoped for pure luck. He said that he never wanted to hurt me because he still cares so much about me...We can’t just destroy what we have been building for ten years ... We communicate as before, but... When the time comes and he loves someone else, I will not be able to bear it and I will have to leave. I don't want that. Negative emotions greatly affect my body due to genetics, and I often feel unbearable pain because of it. That's why it's so scary. I wish I wouldn't confess to him...
If you have something that you really want in your life, spend lots of time Loving about it. The more you Love the more ideas will pop up the more creative your gonna start to get. Your sublovescious mind doesn't care if your vision is crazy. It doesnt care if you dont know how to do it. When you see a thing clearly in your mind, your creative "Love mechanism" within you takes over and does the job much better than you could do it by Lovescious effort or Lovepower. A different psychedelic from a different planet every nanosecond. All sorts of dreams are possible. The human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an "actual" Lovexperience and an Lovexperience imagined vividly and in detail. Synthesize "experience," to literally create experience, and control it, in the laboratory of our minds. A vision is a very emotional image, the most powerful image that you can come up with for yourself at this time. This vision will become like a hallucination in other peoples mind and this could be the cause of them creating extraordinary things.
I felt that way for a long time too. At some point I realized that anger was all I had left. If I am to ever have more, I need to lose that anger. Time is a great healer.
Love is important. However, love is not an “only” important matter in human life. If there is no love around you, that means now is the time to prepare for another important issues. Don't be disappointed, stay human.
I tried dating some earlier this year having felt the lonliness and like I was missing out on love. I have attachment issues, it's hard for me to get attached to anyone... Dating was hard. I felt things, some good and bad, and I learned so much about myself and other people. But none of them panned out for one reason or another. Now I don't think that I need that kind of close relationship type love.
I got to be honest, literally yesterday I witnessed my dad go through the 3rd divorce of his life, he then said these things to me that are in the video :(
I do not care bout love anymore for me when they talk about it I expect something from a world totally different than mine, considering the number of times I got rejected/ghosted by men. Yet, if I were one of them I would have became an incel. But no, us girls only cry in peace and silence give up and move on with our lives bothering our own success and business.
If anything from my previous crush who just used me for over a year there's only one thing I learned about love to late. It just never will exist. I given up looking for it ever since it fell apart between us, if it hasn't happened for me yet at 21 I don't see it happening beyond that. At least I got alcohol because I just learned that you can rely on that a lot more to make you feel good than ever being able to find a lover.
That's the real problem about love if you assumed that a girl/boy has a crush on you, you will eventually get hurt if they're not interested in you. And if you didn't find out the hints they say to you you're like a walking stone and then if you have a feelings for her/him now they're not interested in you anymore,
EXACTLY. Every guy I talked to so far (I’m 16) and I talked to a few boys has stopped having feelings for me once I showed them interest (they showed me interest first)… Like I’m so confused why????
I loved someone too they always flirted with me i didnt know if they were serious and i fallen in love and became Addicted to Them only to find out they had a girl friend when i confessed The other time it was like yesterday she was friendly and we gave each other nicknames I falled in love guess what she said in front of my eyes look see him I like him and she was straight Now every night I'm over thinking why she ever flirted or why I liked them and if I should ever have meet them
Why is the risk of cancellation even existent? Are we that bored of our own life that people constantly have to criticize others for like everything? Asides that, the 'cancellation' can easily be avoided: Date in private Love in private Talk out any kind of problems out with your partner directly and do not hold any visible grudges via social media. And only ask your friends directly about any opinion on how to solve a conflict. On the one hand, the point that a great support system/opinions from friends may help you out of a toxic relationship is valid. On the other hand, everybody should be responsible for their own life decisions and people should live and let live people for their own accountability' sake. All in all, I really don't get cancel culture.
Sometimes I get jealous of seeing couples who are in my age having fun and meanwhile me who sitting on the bench in the park all alone ☹️ Wish I could feel love even if it's for 1 second 💔💔💔
I've pretty much given up on finding love, the only ones I find are either fake or toxic. And the ones that aren't fake or toxic are already taken, so I'll just focus on myself.
Why the heck does this video hit so hard? 😐 Numbers is 2 and 3 really gets me down. Literally been blasted (by my parents, even) for even considering some girls attractive. Nowadays, I have a LOT of trouble getting into a relationship because I was never really thought how to go about it. I always make dumb mistakes and embarrass myself. If I wasn't so traumatized by certain events I had, I probably would be more attractive rn. Sadly the most I've done is get used or ignored by the people I thought cared about me in a romantic way. As much as I wish I was ready for a relationship, I have to officially say that I am not. It probably won't be years until I'm ready, but I'm just *that* broken... especially since that more bad news came up on my end.
Serotonin and dopamine. Yea, i have my own theory on that. As an addict(Alcoholic), and someone who spend a lot of effort and time in growing myself, i've payed much attention to those chemicals in the brain, and when and where they're used. - It's become my understanding, that serotonin, the chemical that gives us pleasure, should only be used when seeking romance. IE when falling in love. - But we experience it when we eat, drink, do drugs, or get drunk. Even some other things - In terms of in diet, sugar and wheat are the main culprits to boost our serotonin levels to the extreme. So we get way to much serotonin and that has an adverse effect. Because, it's my understanding that serotonin prevents dopamine from being produced and released. According to Andrew Huberman. It's not a X and Z situation, is a X or Z situation. Serotonin gives you pleasure, and dopamine makes you happy... So basically - You can't be both, at least not for extended periods of time... Serotonin, while be a wonderful chemical, that gives us a ton of pleasure, should only be used sparingly, so we do not "forget" to be happy... And i am of the opinion, that happiness trumps pleasure every damn day of the week...
@@vanilla1353 Thank you. But it's purely observational data i've got. Well, for the most part. Based on studies done by others. But what i've highlighted here, makes sense to me, with my limited knowledge of biology. I can only share my own ideas, and observations, but i do think Andrew Huberman is worth listening too, when it comes to this stuff... ;) And then form your own data, as a lot of what's out there, is mis-information... Oh, and i'm 44 years of age. ;)
I broke up with my girlfriend 5 days ago, went to the video out of habit and only then realized that something was wrong. Right on the words about depression and young love, ironic
@@Psych2go It definitely not, and despite the fact that so much time has passed, I still feel disgusting. On the first day, I didn’t believe it, we used to quarrel and such situations had already happened, but literally the next morning I woke up with understanding. My head hurts from thinking, moreover, probably because of this, I got very sick and my temperature went over 40C. My girlfriend just texted me, we had a big fight 6 days before, I waited for us to make up, got happy when I saw the message and, well, I've never felt like this before. I am a closed person, I don’t have friends with whom I am open, I couldn’t even fully open up to a girlfriend, and now I’m all alone, I have no one to talk to, discuss, moreover, I live with a family that I do not like and in a place that is disgusting to me. Well, here I am, sitting complaining on UA-cam in the comments.
4/10! Did not tackle the more powerful reason why love is hard I feel like this video was afraid to tackle the more common and dire reasons why relationships and love does not workout Saying bad comments on social media and a brain with full of love is like having a drug addiction isn’t something I personally think is a crucial point why love works out Better reasons why love does not workout Loss of attraction People change Change of values Different goals in life Too many red flags Jealousy Poor communication & more Simply most of the time love is not enough What the video did great *****Loneliness in marriages Being in love can lead to bad decisions for yourself and the other person *****Young people have more risk to unstable mental health when in a relationship Poor support systems with family and friends in relationships
We should know correct age does matter after child age many people's getting in love nothing bad in it but we should learn these harsh truths so that it will not hurt us later and never distract yourself towards your goals that's it.
Eyo, Psych2Go, I have a great video suggestion: I find the MBTI 16 personality types incredibly interesting, and it's a great topic on psychology, maybe talk about some of each personality types traits? You don't have to, I just really like this topic so it would mean alot if this topic showed up on here. Thanks for the videos!! I must sleep now :)
I‘ve got a question for the first aspect! The fact that love can intoxicating. I‘ve been feeling like this lately… is there a way I can improve the situation? I‘ve talked with boyfriend that I was feeling like that, but I still feel the presence of nervousness and tiredness, loss of appetite, etc. The feeling is unbearable… What can I do myself to overcome this issue?
im on the aroace spectrum so everyone so often me and my girlfriend take a “break” and spend a week or two just by ourselves, half because we’re both autistic and managing relationships is difficult for us and half because it keeps us both happy and we aren’t as depressed as we were with past relationships!
So love is a harmful and negative, and love is false? Does love exist? Is their any point to even trying to fall in love? Thank you for you videos, I've been using these videos to teach me what emotions are like as I can't read emotions due to my condition and been closed off in fear of others for years to the point of being emotionally numb. One the reasons I was encouraged to explore and express me emotions is because I was made to believe that love was a positive thing. I honestly belived love was the point of life because I don't know why I should even bother to live if there is no point. I'm a very logically based person. Should i remain emotionally repressed and distant? Love would be easy to avoid like personal connections. Could someone answer my inquiries as I'm having a crisis over them and I can't compute the damage to the illusion I've had.
Love was never meant to be the point of live. As an INTP I can understand, that emotions seem like an illusion and I am no therapist, but even without love, there are still many things in life worth living for. Here are some things that I like to strive for: Wisdom, Charisma, Adventure & Freedom, Creativity and even though often seen as a bad thing to live for Power & Status are also part of it. In the end you have to find something for yourself, even if you already have given up. I hope someday you will find happiness and maybe love as a topping. 🧁 And in the video are only shown the bad sides of love, if things go wrong, but they don't have to.
Typically, love is a positive thing, however too much of a good thing can become bad. Also, end up loving the wrong person, and you're in for a bad time. While you want to avoid the bad, you have to expose yourself to the risk of finding the bad in order to find the good (primarily due to the fact we going out to meet strangers. You're not always sure what you're getting into early on). Because of that, I've seen advice stating you'll want to fall back on your support circle to weather negative experiences (including bad romances), as being in isolation while dealing with negative life experiences absolutely sucks. I know nothing about your life or what experiences led you to that conclusion, so let me know if this sounds presumptuous: I don't think you should be worrying about love anytime soon. If your at point where you don't even want to form personal connections, then an intimate relationship is out of the question. It's like trying run a marathon when you can only crawl. Rather than ask you to reconsider your stance on love, I say start smaller. Learn to establish personal connections first. Find people you do want to be friends with. Learn to read emotions (If you can. If it's due to a medical condition, I'm not sure what to say). Take up hobbies that you enjoy and find other people who enjoy them. Take baby steps and gradually adjust yourself. Once you've done that, you can reconsider your stance on love. If you still feel the same way, then you're at least doing what you love with people you're friendly with.
Thank you Elderblue, infernokid and o^o. I've been in a tough patch for a couple of years know and I've recently looked back on my life merely to see it's a long tapastry of being manipulated and used and feeling alone and the main thing that kept me going was lthe idea of love and watching this video shook my belief on a hard day and caused my to have a crisis. It's hard when you can't read emotions as it's hard to learn what they are and full understand them so I sorry for jumping to conclusions when I lost my head. Your words have helped me and given me things to think about. Sorry if this seems a lacluster response to yours, I'm honestly struggling to express my gratitude Thank you again
@@decency2824 No problem. It makes sense why you'd close yourself off. You just wanted to protect yourself. I can relate to that. Should you desire to take the next step, I wish you the best of luck.
Do you guys like the new angle we took on this topic? You may notice we go more in depth with each point, however, let us know if you prefer the shorter format.
i like the new angle : )
Both
Mhm !! :))
I love it i really needed this
The voice is a bit uncomfortable
I hate the fact society wants us to feel like you HAVE to be in a relationship. It doesn’t work like that. I see a lot of kids nowadays falling in love at such a young age, and I didn’t know why. I like learning about topics of love, even though I am aro-ace. Sadly, nothing lasts forever :(
Nothing last forever, and society tends to have that influence on people... No one is require to be in a relationship, if anything it is a choice that you make when you are ready
@@Psych2go Of course
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@Ghost Chill I am married now and love it, but it is hard work. Being single doesnt require as much effort and is good in its own right. It is extremely annoying though when people pressure you into being in a relationship, and it was usually my family. I had a history of being single and not being able to maintain long-lasting relationships, and having the occasional fling. So in 2020, it got to the point where my mom even set me up on a couple dates. I went on them reluctantly, because I was sick of hearing about it. The dates went fine, but they didnt amount to anything. My moms idea of who I liked was accurate, mostly due to my interests and the woman I had brought home in the past when I still lived with them. I dont think people should be so pressured to get into a relationship, because my wife came into my life naturally and it wasnt so forced. Sometimes it takes people a long time to find the right person, sometimes people are okay with being alone for their lives (should probably at least have friends since humans typically need a little social interaction), and thats alright. As long as someone is content, then thats all that really matters. If someone isnt okay with the way they are living, then they should change it for the better.
@Ghost Chill Given that perspective, I can respect your position and choices. Sometimes its not worth burdening other people with our lives. The most important thing is to love yourself, before you can love others. Ive never been big on having a lot of friends, but it is nice having a small circle of friends I can trust, along with my wife, the love of my life. Sometimes it is difficult to trust others since Ive been burned and screwed over before too in friendships and romantic relationships. At the end of the day we only have ourselves to rely on 100%. I have spent the last few years trying to better myself, my situation, and the people I surround myself with. It just isnt worth having people around if they dont really care about you. Id much rather be alone than be around people that are negative or bring me down in any way. If I woke up tomorrow alone, I would be a little sad, but id get over it since ive always been okay with being by myself too.
The most difficult thing is to leave the person u love for their happiness and still be by their side to help them to support them while seeing their happy face which makes u fall even harder
Can you elaborate on this a bit?
@@Psych2go I believe that they mean that if you love someone, to make them happy, you have to let them go or not involve yourself with them in ways you'd like. In a harsh reality, an ideal world is an impossibility
Why do you have to leave? Why can't you transform and become the person that can be loved?
@@MashiroRedo Sometimes there isn't that choice
@@MashiroRedo there's probably some circumstances to that too. Depends on each relationship.
A guy I dated (but we didn't officially break up, just drifted apart) said they still loved me, but on our second...and probably last...date, I told them that maybe it's better this way. For my own reasons, I didn't think he deserves to be with someone like me (someone who's indecisive, unsure, confused), and I told him that. There's also family reasons...and other things.
We left off as still being friends though. My mind fancies the what ifs, after all he was the guy I grew to love (I don't fancy the idea much because I'm rarely attracted to anyone; real life or celebrity).
But perhaps letting him go, and having him let me go, was good for the both of us in the end.
Loneliness from attachment issues and the lack of dopamine when your partner isn't there is a lot, too. I experienced it for a long time, but I eventually found a balance in it. Allowed myself to feel depressed and lonely for a bit so I could find other things that make me happy. It was really difficult though
Hi there, do you mind elaborating on that? How do you balance it, and how does being depressed and lonely help you to find other things that make you happy? 😊 I'm also feeling the same things so it would be really helpful if you could help to further explain it 😁
@@naomiepham2430 you have to find hobbies or stuff to occupy your time when they are not around. Nothing compares to the joy of being around my wife (when shes happy haha), so I tend to get a little depressed when shes not around. I just find other things to do in order to take my mind off her, whether that be playing call of duty, working, watching youtube, golfing, hunting (I hunt when shes asleep too), shooting at the range, hanging out with friends, driving around, running errands or shopping, etc. Just try to find something that is enjoyable enough to occupy the mind and get a little excitement. A lot of the stuff I do when shes not around are just my hobbies and activities that I had before I even met her. Of course you can always look into getting new hobbies as well. Of course I still think about her a lot, especially if im not in the middle of an activity but I just learned to deal with it and slow your thoughts down (ive always been good at meditating and calming the mind). When I am lonely and bored, I just chill and eventually find something to do. Its also rewarding when I get to see her again, because if you are around someone 24/7 it becomes so regular.
Honestly I have this issue and it never goes away. You will not feel 100 percent better until you fall again.
As someone who's experienced this and has developed an aversion to dating, I can agree with this. Love is not easily achieved and most people start out thinking it is. Constructing a healthy relationship is crucial, yes, but knowing when to let someone go especially if you two definitely have no hope of a future, that's important too.
Yes, sometimes, there's that point in life where you just have to move forward without each other.
I grew up afraid of marriage due to experiencing my perants and grandparents divorcing. now I don't know how to start a relationship without being afraid of the relationship destroying it's self. I want to date but seeing it fail before I try makes it hard
How do we know that the relationship has no future btw? And how to know when to fight for it or let it go? I really have struggle about this if someone can help me
And if you’re ace?
@@literallynormalperson9374 I divorced in 2016 after 26 years of marriage. I STILL don’t have the answers to help you. I’m sorry.
Something I learned about love, is compatibility, attraction, affection and timing all matter
Timing is a huge thing, but most importantly knowing your needs and wants in a partner
Seeing this helps after ending a 4 year relationship that was once the greatest joy of my life, turned into the worst grief of my life
Same bro
I hear you! My last one was like that... This one, not allowing myself to feel anything
Same here.. Its my first love and for 4 yrs a d now I'm here all alone & heart broken even it was years ago 😔
@@-Chrome- Man, didn't know a journey this chaotic and almost tragic novel like would be all that common...
@@roseducharme3836 I mean it did become that on the last stages of the whole mess, she would basically not want me to be romantic to her, or call her my baby as I used to, nor ask about how she's feeling about forgiving me for basically one argument that she ever since could never get over nor forgive me for, even though it wasn't too serious nor about us at all
So I basically would just talk as neutrally as she would to me, and occasionally break telling her I felt incredibly lonely and like she didn't love me and she would get angry at me saying how she sacrificed so much for me and that she's doing the best she can for me but that it's never enough, that I'm selfish and I'm making her out to not be trying at all
yeah that was unbearable
Timestamps
1). Love can be intoxicating 1:16
2). The younger the love, the harder the fall 2:31
3). The risk of being cancelled 4:03
4). Married people can still feel lonely 5:46
Hope this helps you out.💙💙💙💙
Thank you for all the timestamps!
Risk of being cancelled. The fact you spent less that half a minute on this psych to go shows how out of touch you guys truly are in these modern times.
@@PricelessBinkey1337 hey I am not a psych I am a person who really hates being alive
@@A55a551n I mean you're not alone? This reality sucks and the more I'm learning, the more I'm convinced we exist in an Orwell Hell
@@A55a551n I know you ain't, but hey, maybe they see I commented
1. 1:16 Love can be intoxicating
2. 2:31 The younger the lover the harder the fall
3. 4:03 Risk of being cancelled
4. 5:45 Married people can still feel lonely
Thank you for the timestamps!
"It isn't a feeling it is a practice" made feel such a big amount of relief. My couple decided to take a time off (in general, not just with me) to fix some personal problems and become a better person overall, and these days I've been feeling off, mainly because she was you could say part of my daily life...and i was feeling so bad for wanting to interrupt her process and talk to her but hearing this just made me realize that i really just lack "practice" and due to that this process she is taking feels unnecessarily tiring. Still, I guess I'll also take this time off to work on this issue :) and hopefully we'll both be more mature once we go back to talking to each other
It's completely fine to take time apart to focus on yourself. Sometimes, it might be needed to not only strength the relationship but to learn more about yourself too
@@Psych2go aww thank you :) it means a lot coming from you guys
I’ve never been in a relationship, but during Covid lockdowns I decided to start working on myself. This resulted in me getting a lot of attention even though I’m not looking for relationships… I told one girl to look for someone else as I don’t feel ready, but she’s stubborn and willing to wait… 🤷♂️
@@Agent.K. haha best of lucks
Here's an extra harsh truth: there *isn't* "someone out there for everyone". You're not guaranteed to ever find someone who likes you back. Attraction is complicated, illogical, and unfair. So don't feel like you're an odd one out; romance is difficult and random, and that's a fact of life.
You're the only one I've read that said this. I think the same way. Got tired of people saying that there's someone for everyone. There isn't.
Romantic love is mostly a breeding process, but humans constantly forget that nature wants us to have lots of healthy babies, not a Hallmark worthy experience. I think this is why fwb type situations don’t last long.
I think this is true, but we also have to remember that whilst there isn't some special designated person for everyone on the globe, like some kind of soul mate we just have to find or else we're dommed, there are however, many, many people out there with whom we could have good, healthy, lasting and loving relationships. Literally quite a few people, based on compatability and goals and values etc. The key is finding those people.
@@heatherwoodley8244 Yes, but what I'm saying is that it isn't guaranteed you'll ever find a person like that, or that if you do, they may not feel the same way. It's obviously not guaranteed you'll find a soulmate, but it's also not guaranteed that you'll find *anyone* that would want to be in a relationship with you (and you with them).
True mate. Sometimes I think that I might die being single
"love isn't a feeling, it's a practice" woooow that's soo true
Really have to appreciate the animators who dedicate themselves everyday for us to provide content
Thank you! Evelvaii really does her best!:)
The timing is just perfect.
I'd been having some hard times relating to my love life
Yep.
What do you think is holding you back the most?
@@Psych2go I honestly don't know.
I tend to get really sad and depressed whenever my significant other is hanging with someone else and not me. I know she has other people in her life but IDK why I feel like this.
Things haven't been going as smooth like they were before. We both love each other alot but idk how it explain it properly
@@noobfolife1206someone ate her?
hey that’s weird cause I’m kinda going through the same thing rn like I want her to be happy when she’s out with friends but she never seems to have time for me anymore like in the past 5 months I only talked to her 4 times so it’s weird cause she says she still loves me but never seems to wanna hangout anymore or really text me and lmk how she’s doing so I feel depressed when I can’t spend time with her like I use to and just don’t feel like I’m as close to her as I was before almost like she doesn’t care about me the same before and I don’t like that I feel jealous when she’s out with a guy friend more then me, sorry idk why I’m opening up so much just kinda wanted to vent cause it’s painful and i don’t really know what to do about it
This is why I’m scared of falling in love.
Please tell me I’m not the only one 😅
This is called philophobia. I have that too, luckily, I'm aroace.
39 Burried, 0 Found
Well to tell the truth I was afraid of love at first but now a days its hard to find true love for me and anyone else who my be reading this but let me tell you this "love is a great experience even if it hurts but thats why we learn alot of things trough love."
You're not. A video we did about this got millions of views.
ua-cam.com/video/9EtKgmVMsFQ/v-deo.html&ab_channel=Psych2Go
Im incapable of falling in love
It took me decades to understand both my people-pleasing tendencies rooted in "Daddy issues" plus bullying, and my addiction to the highs of dopamine and oxytocin which, ironically, came from my super loving huggy Mom. Too many extremes on both ends. I had to learn to reign my emotional addictions in.
Those who can’t be alone can’t be honest, can’t be loyal, and can’t be anything. -Miyamoto Musashi
:0
TBH I have passed through all these stages.
I had learnt that if someone had ever broken your heart...love them more with those broken pieces.
Do not let them down by any of your deeds.Never ever blame,curse or pass sarcasm in social media or in person.
Have eye contact with them if you ever meet they again.If you feel comfortable hold their hand and have conversation.
Let them feel your presence.Do not shout or howl over them.Have decency and maintain dignity coz if not now but once they had loved you from the core of their heart and your love is/was not so cheap that you speak evil or cheap to them on thier face.
I believe if it's isn't love..it's isn't for forever.
I was in love a very long time ago. Now it's like people 'need' someone now. Need love, attention, etc. I need peace of mind and stability. I have to find and give that to myself now.
Damn...The timing Im literally having a breakdown rn because I just removed myself from someone I really loved from their life and it hurts me so much but at the same time I know this is the only way I can be at mental and physical peace
Unfortunately, that’s what we have to do sometimes, no matter how much we love someone. I hope you can get through this. It’s not easy to do but you should be proud for taking care of your well-being. ❤
Been there and done that myself, and it's because I've put myself in a better mental and physical state. It's working for me. Put yourself first and then you can be there for another.
It’s nice to see marriage brought up! Being in one that’s a “lonely marriage” and trying unsuccessfully for years to fix it, it’s good to set more realistic expectations for those looking to tie the knot
Hearing this after the death of my partner is a really strange mix of feelings
i really hope your okey
Death of your partner? I'm so sorry to hear that.. please take the time you need to grieve.
@@Psych2go thanks im trying, and yeah, he died because of suicide, thanks for dealing with mental health topics, I hope people can find help even if it is in this way.
@@lunek0 I’m so so sorry for your loss. That is very hard to deal with. I can’t imagine how painful it must be for you. My therapist told me that grief is the other side of love. The stronger the grief is, the stronger the love. Take your time to grieve and heal. ❤
@@epcza13 i appreciate that a lot, he really deserved better, i hope you are having a nice day/night
With all those things that I already knew of some people are still wondering why I've always been unattracted by romantic relationships compared to my peers. Well managing people is already exhausting, you don't expect me to bear with this at my young age, do ya?
As someone who has been in a toxic relationship i can confirm this is facts💯
Which point did you resonate most with?
@@Psych2go english isn't the language that i speak with all the time so i didn't understand what you said one hundred percent but if you meant what's the moment that was the hardest on me i would say that it's not the moment that i broke up with her but rather the moment when i knew that she left me for Another guy although i always told that i trust her a lot and one last thing, i like your channel it really helped me and i wish you the best ❤️
Unless it's with that ONE person, who will come in the most unexpected way.
Losing my partner of nearly 7 years was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.
+Psych2GoTv *Thanks for the list of adversities associated with love:*
1:15 (1) Intoxication potential
2:31 (2) Heavier distress for the low-experienced
4:03 (3) Cancellation risk
5:46 (4) Loneliness among the married
thank you very much, this was a video I really need to see and hear. this has meant a lot to me, and has significantly made things clearer and more easy to navigate in my life
I am personally a teen who has been experiencing a hard time with love, and now seeing that maybe it isn't all that, especially for someone young, maybe I need to take a step away and consider if this is actually making me happy. thank you for posting these videos! I luv this channel!
"It isn't a feeling, it's a practice" at the end was gold ✨️ 👌
I am an avid mental health awareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my UA-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💚💚
OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR ADDRESSING THE CANCELLED PART! I'm so sick of people getting cancelled over opinions, relationships, and anything of the above.
In a healthy relationship couples communicate, don’t lose touch with themselves, & know when to be selfish.
With real love & not just infatuation, you’re going to question why you’re with your partner & if you still love them. That’s okay. In a healthy relationship 1/2 the time you love together. The other half is split into a 1/4. What happens during this period is that the love will be one sided. One person loves & the other accepts it. Sometimes you both of don’t feel like you love each other any more. During these hard times communicating & rebuilding your relationship is how you get through it. It’s not fun but it’s worth it. After that your relationship is stronger.
It’s also important to remember that your partner shouldn’t make you feel like you’re incomplete without them, but they should make you feel like you are even better at being you with them because they help you learn & grow.
But if you feel like you’re losing yourself in your relationship, you have more bad times than good, &/or you don’t feel like you have value without them, I strongly recommend that you do research on what unhealthy relationships look like & ask yourself if your relationship is harmful to you or the person you’re with.
I hope this helpful to anyone in relationship or wanting to be in one. & for those of you who aren’t, that’s okay too. I want everyone to live their best lives ❤
Yes, love can be intoxicating but anything can.
I almost lost the love of my life due to fear. Fear can also be very toxic. It almost brought the worst out of me until my lover confessed his Feelings to me. I was just too scared of rejection, so my Feelings literally made me sick but He saved me just in time and now we're in a relationship based on mutual love and respect. We even welcomed our first child a month ago.
And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love
You make!
~The Beatles
Yes, what we give is what we receive.
@@Psych2go Ideally, in a perfect relationship, this is the case. But it's not always the case, some relationships are toxic.
Tbh, dating apps is the worst thing that ever happened. I hardly see anyone approach a person irl anymore. Also, after the last person I have dated, I lost hope.
something that everyone forget is that some people will end up alone even if they dont want to
It always comes down to a choice of either being alone or having someone in your life
Damn, reading the comments of this video I'm seeing people that fell in love and didn't end well, and I feel sorry for them.
Same with me, I felt in love with a girl and still did nothing for years because of circumstances
But now, especially this year, I learned and, even if things don't turn out the way I guessed, still I'm happy to have a good friend
It will hurt badly, I know, either if we get together or not, because love for me means to stay with a person in the good and in the bad, because you find that someone that at the end of the day you're happy to stay with, either it's the first date or the 10 trillion time you see her/him.
Either way, we're in a time where mental health is getting more and more considered, so do not esitate to call for help when needed
I mean from my experiences love has burned me bad that I had to be lonely for 3 years I didn't eat much, stop talking to people, hurt myself just a little bit, slept alot and got obsessed with burning paper. My first boyfriend only was obsessed with my money, my Second one was just a h*rny spass and well both did horrible acts to me now I'm fine but I'm just looking for the right guy
@@darthvader1793 nope sorry I only date guys my age or older sorry also I like goth and occult obsessed guys
But I hope you find someone who will mahe you happy.
I’m still in high school and young so I might be overdramatic, but so far liking someone has taught me it only ruins friendships. I liked someone for like 2 years and then he just stopped talking to me, no explanations or anything. Then I liked someone in my friend group, we ‘got together’ because he pretended to like me and the loneliness our other friend felt made them SUPER depressed, and then I confessed to a friend because I just wanted to be honest, and hoped we could still be friends, and luckily we are but he didn’t wanna talk to me for the entire summer and I was convinced he hated me. ‘Love’ has made me so insecure and clingy and lonely, I just wish I was aromantic lol
Love is the second most powerful human emotion aside from fear. It brings the most joy, yet it can also cause the most pain. Pain that drives people to insanity.
Edit: We might still be in an era of loneliness. And that could be because people have had enough of getting hurt. It's hard to trust Love now a days.
The biggest thing I learned about love… you gotta love yourself before you can truly give your heart to anyone else. It’s a harsh truth because so many of us harbor self hatred. Start loving yourself (not to the point of conceitedness) just get to where no matter where you are, you’re comfortable in you’re skin. Then you’re ready for love. Do what you gotta do to get to that point.
Last week I got rejected by a girl that I had crush on for years. I accept her choice, but it's really hard to find a reason to keep going now.
Perhaps, the reason can be that you are going to become the best version of yourself that it simply attracts her back into your life or someone even better!
I’m so sorry. You’re heartbroken. That’s completely understandable. Give yourself time to heal and move on. ❤
Everything is true
.... Love can hurt
"Love is great, even when it hurts"
Love can hurt, but it shouldn't stop you from giving love a chance
Some people are really twisted and are just out there to form a close bond with someone as a tool to inflict harm on others, it's surprisingly common, and often difficult to detect until a lot of damage has already been done, stay safe out there everyone
if only i heard those truths much earlier, the experiences i had would've been less painful
I had my first relationship (and only, so far) from last year to early this year, aged 14...It was an honest and true love, at least from my side, but because of everything I'd been through, I didn't even know what my personality was and acted like a completely different person. The facade eventually faded when I became happier, but then her love started to fade too, because the facade was what she fell in love with. She became clingy and desperate because of her own issues and I couldn't let her go because I knew she needed me. Eventually she saw how much this was hurting me and broke up with me herself, in the kindest way she could. I still miss her a little sometimes...I think I always will. But all I can do now is hope that she's getting on ok, that she's happy and she's moved on. A part of me will always love that bright, energetic, emotive and kind girl.
Same😔
Practice detachment and just enjoy the moments. Make memories. Keep an open heart. Know that nothing is guaranteed in life so you never know what may happen. To you and the other person. Just enjoy people and appreciate them. The good ones that is.
Love can be intoxicating…. Wow… I actually learned that the hard way. Found a crush, gotten jealous and made poor decisions and lost friends and the crush. I had to learn that the hard way as well. And now I learned to keep it in check and have to get it right now. I have learned to remain strong and remain cautious at all time. And yes. I also been canceled too because of it. I won’t lie. It sucks. To learn about this now. But better now then never. I am just focusing on myself and I am learning to deal with the mistakes I made and becoming a better person.
I saw a post on Facebook a little while ago that said "Just a reminder that you missed out on teen love and there's no going back." One of the comments was "Yeah but I was on cocaine, which is basically the same thing." LOL
Young love is like taping two bottles of nitroglycerin together to support each other. Neither side really knows how to handle a bump or agitation and if one goes unstable, you can guess what's about to happen to the other.
I love how you explained young love
My first and only relationship to date was when I was 17... I'm not explaining everything because that would take hours but, let's say that at the end, when the bitter end came, I felt (and even sometimes now) that I wasted almost a decade of my life (there were some great moments too, ngl) and now, with all the date thing being a lot harder and being almost 28 ...I don't know what to do. It's a bit hard and scary for me to go out and know new people even if I want to 😔
Of course, I know that you don't really need a relationship to be happy but... I would be lying if I say I don't miss hearing a "hi darling, how was your day?" from time to time and sitting together on the couch watching some anime.
Sorry for the text wall but these videos always helps me to express myself better 😅
Dating is so hard. I never really dated because I was going through my own stuff. I've finally gotten to the point where I feel confident enough to try...and it seems like no one is looking to really date. Seems far more like hook up culture or just looking for more friends/followers on social media. I haven't had what feels like a genuine interaction yet and I started trying like 5 years ago. Im 32 now. It can be a big downer when I get into the wrong head space. Keep it positive im sure you'll meet someone!
Hi random commenter, how was your day? 🙃
Keep your good memories and erase the bad ones, it wasn't a wasted decade.
@@bestimmtkeinbot9793 haha thanks; not too much work today and I'm quite nervous because if my last package comes today (it should), I'm building my first PC 😁.
And yeah, I try to keep just the good memories and it works most of the time, but some days it's still a bit difficult 😅
@@senpai16 thanks, I really appreciate that.
Yeah, I agree...it looks like a lot of people nowadays are becoming more selfish every day that passes and want only a quick reward without commitment.
Of course, not everyone is like that, and that's what gives me hope, but actual social media makes it a lot harder to find them (quite ironic if we remember what was the original purpose of social media 😅 )
I don't know what you've been through but you must've learned some valuable skills from those years and when the time comes that you're ready you can get back out there and be better than you ever were before.
Back in high school. I was once kept getting pressured to start a relationship almost constantly by my step-brother, while he's been phasing through one girl after another and all of his relationships barely lasted a week.
And yeah, social media (especially twitter) have been a breeding ground of unforgiving, perfectionist, self-righteous toddlers who are possibly hypocrites.
*_Let's add this to our taught today!_*
We should avoid hasty conclusion because of what somebody says about someone else. Don't be fooled by the illusion of wealth. Big houses, fancy cars, and designer clothes are not wealth. It's most likely debt. Wealth is freedom, 0ptions time & health. Appreciate where you’re in your journey. Even if it's not where you want to be. Every season serves a purpose. Never stop doing your best. Just because someone doesn't give you credit. When you’re weak, pray to God. When u re worried, pray 2 God. When you’re stressed, pray to God. When you are hopeless pray to God. God will put you where he wants you. Even if no one thinks you deserve the position. Your positive action combined with positive thinking results in success.
I really like your comment and you're right by saying wealth is freedom, options, time and health. I personally do not think praying to god will make things better, but I do think, to believe in him can give you the courage to take your OWN actions, to change your life to the better.
Unusual voice with the narrator. It's like a mix between soothing and sultry. Not that that's a bad thing. Just not something you hear much
Me: * Goes through break up *
Psych2go 1 week later:
Me: Oh come on.
How are you feeling after your breakup?
Love can utterly destroy you inside. Tried it a few times but it never worked right. Gave up on it 7 years ago.
"just because it didnt work doesnt mean its meaningless to me
it just wasn't meant to be..."
I fell in love with my best friend, with whom we have been communicating for 10 years. Confessed to him. But he has no romantic feelings for me. I'm just a friend to him. It's so hard to put up with this, my heart is simply torn to pieces. He said he'd think about it, but if he doesn't have feelings for me at all, it's unlikely to lead to anything. I don't even know what to do anymore. Love brings pain, a lot of pain. Think about whether you need it at all in your life.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that... it's true, love can be very painful. Did you give you a reason and how did he react when you confessed to him?
@@Psych2go Thank you very much, your words mean a lot to me!
He was just more sentimental and caring than before. It seemed like he might also have feelings for me, but in the end I was just mistaken. Hoped for pure luck. He said that he never wanted to hurt me because he still cares so much about me...We can’t just destroy what we have been building for ten years ... We communicate as before, but... When the time comes and he loves someone else, I will not be able to bear it and I will have to leave. I don't want that. Negative emotions greatly affect my body due to genetics, and I often feel unbearable pain because of it. That's why it's so scary. I wish I wouldn't confess to him...
If you have something that you really want in your life, spend lots of time Loving about it. The more you Love the more ideas will pop up the more creative your gonna start to get. Your sublovescious mind doesn't care if your vision is crazy. It doesnt care if you dont know how to do it.
When you see a thing clearly in your mind, your creative "Love mechanism" within you takes over and does the job much better than you could do it by Lovescious effort or Lovepower.
A different psychedelic from a different planet every nanosecond.
All sorts of dreams are possible.
The human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an "actual" Lovexperience and an Lovexperience imagined vividly and in detail.
Synthesize "experience," to literally create experience, and control it, in the laboratory of our minds.
A vision is a very emotional image, the most powerful image that you can come up with for yourself at this time. This vision will become like a hallucination in other peoples mind and this could be the cause of them creating extraordinary things.
so the best way of not getting your heart broken is stay out of love and fall for it
I believe that Love is a verb and not as much of an emotion
Love is what killed my ability to love again I only feel anger
wait what? 🤔
🤓
I felt that way for a long time too. At some point I realized that anger was all I had left. If I am to ever have more, I need to lose that anger. Time is a great healer.
Did you have a bad experience with love?
@@Psych2go Yes I did and it still haunts me to this day I got my heart broken and I'm still dealing with the remnants of it
Love is important.
However, love is not an “only” important matter in human life.
If there is no love around you,
that means now is the time to prepare for another important issues.
Don't be disappointed, stay human.
I am so glad I didn't went to prom. I just go to the library 🤩
If this ends up being toxic after a break up, you have to ask if it was worth it 💔
I tried dating some earlier this year having felt the lonliness and like I was missing out on love. I have attachment issues, it's hard for me to get attached to anyone... Dating was hard. I felt things, some good and bad, and I learned so much about myself and other people. But none of them panned out for one reason or another. Now I don't think that I need that kind of close relationship type love.
And this is why I been single for the last 13 years
Tfw your talking to your crush on instagram rn and then you watch this video to ensure that you try to apply these videos to yourself.
I got to be honest, literally yesterday I witnessed my dad go through the 3rd divorce of his life, he then said these things to me that are in the video :(
I do not care bout love anymore for me when they talk about it I expect something from a world totally different than mine, considering the number of times I got rejected/ghosted by men. Yet, if I were one of them I would have became an incel. But no, us girls only cry in peace and silence give up and move on with our lives bothering our own success and business.
I’m in the same boat I’ve just accepted that I’m going to be single my whole life
YEP
If anything from my previous crush who just used me for over a year there's only one thing I learned about love to late. It just never will exist. I given up looking for it ever since it fell apart between us, if it hasn't happened for me yet at 21 I don't see it happening beyond that. At least I got alcohol because I just learned that you can rely on that a lot more to make you feel good than ever being able to find a lover.
That's the real problem about love if you assumed that a girl/boy has a crush on you, you will eventually get hurt if they're not interested in you. And if you didn't find out the hints they say to you you're like a walking stone and then if you have a feelings for her/him now they're not interested in you anymore,
That tends to happen when people get mixed signals as well. How do you think people can prevent getting hurt?
EXACTLY. Every guy I talked to so far (I’m 16) and I talked to a few boys has stopped having feelings for me once I showed them interest (they showed me interest first)… Like I’m so confused why????
Though I'm asexual/aromantic; I'm open to knowing topics like this.
Same
I loved someone too they always flirted with me i didnt know if they were serious and i fallen in love and became Addicted to Them only to find out they had a girl friend when i confessed
The other time it was like yesterday she was friendly and we gave each other nicknames I falled in love guess what she said in front of my eyes look see him I like him and she was straight
Now every night I'm over thinking why she ever flirted or why I liked them and if I should ever have meet them
Why is the risk of cancellation even existent? Are we that bored of our own life that people constantly have to criticize others for like everything?
Asides that, the 'cancellation' can easily be avoided:
Date in private
Love in private
Talk out any kind of problems out with your partner directly and do not hold any visible grudges via social media.
And only ask your friends directly about any opinion on how to solve a conflict.
On the one hand, the point that a great support system/opinions from friends may help you out of a toxic relationship is valid. On the other hand, everybody should be responsible for their own life decisions and people should live and let live people for their own accountability' sake.
All in all, I really don't get cancel culture.
jokes on u, I can be depressed without ever being in a relationship
I love the narrator's voice, it's very soothing and calming.
I'm glad you enjoyed the voice!
Sometimes I get jealous of seeing couples who are in my age having fun and meanwhile me who sitting on the bench in the park all alone ☹️ Wish I could feel love even if it's for 1 second 💔💔💔
“High levels of dopamine and low levels of serotonin make love dangerous”
Me who has Schizophrenia: I have such weaknesses
This has made me grateful that I've never been in love and I'm definitely going to be more cautious.
Goodness.. The narrator has the perfect voice for this subject.
I've pretty much given up on finding love, the only ones I find are either fake or toxic.
And the ones that aren't fake or toxic are already taken, so I'll just focus on myself.
I'm sorry to hear that you had bad experiences with love. If anything, focus on yourself and the right love will find you
Why the heck does this video hit so hard? 😐
Numbers is 2 and 3 really gets me down. Literally been blasted (by my parents, even) for even considering some girls attractive. Nowadays, I have a LOT of trouble getting into a relationship because I was never really thought how to go about it. I always make dumb mistakes and embarrass myself. If I wasn't so traumatized by certain events I had, I probably would be more attractive rn. Sadly the most I've done is get used or ignored by the people I thought cared about me in a romantic way.
As much as I wish I was ready for a relationship, I have to officially say that I am not. It probably won't be years until I'm ready, but I'm just *that* broken... especially since that more bad news came up on my end.
People who are in long-term relationships only survive because one of them gives up and gives in to make it last.
While some long-term relationships last because they understand the importance of having an interdependent love
Serotonin and dopamine. Yea, i have my own theory on that. As an addict(Alcoholic), and someone who spend a lot of effort and time in growing myself, i've payed much attention to those chemicals in the brain, and when and where they're used. - It's become my understanding, that serotonin, the chemical that gives us pleasure, should only be used when seeking romance. IE when falling in love. - But we experience it when we eat, drink, do drugs, or get drunk. Even some other things - In terms of in diet, sugar and wheat are the main culprits to boost our serotonin levels to the extreme. So we get way to much serotonin and that has an adverse effect. Because, it's my understanding that serotonin prevents dopamine from being produced and released. According to Andrew Huberman. It's not a X and Z situation, is a X or Z situation. Serotonin gives you pleasure, and dopamine makes you happy... So basically - You can't be both, at least not for extended periods of time... Serotonin, while be a wonderful chemical, that gives us a ton of pleasure, should only be used sparingly, so we do not "forget" to be happy... And i am of the opinion, that happiness trumps pleasure every damn day of the week...
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge! May I ask how old you are… you should study the brain (if you don’t already)! 😊🙌
@@vanilla1353 Thank you. But it's purely observational data i've got. Well, for the most part. Based on studies done by others. But what i've highlighted here, makes sense to me, with my limited knowledge of biology. I can only share my own ideas, and observations, but i do think Andrew Huberman is worth listening too, when it comes to this stuff... ;) And then form your own data, as a lot of what's out there, is mis-information...
Oh, and i'm 44 years of age. ;)
I broke up with my girlfriend 5 days ago, went to the video out of habit and only then realized that something was wrong. Right on the words about depression and young love, ironic
Sorry to hear about that.. hopefully, it was mutual and that you felt it was for the best. How are you doing now?
@@Psych2go It definitely not, and despite the fact that so much time has passed, I still feel disgusting. On the first day, I didn’t believe it, we used to quarrel and such situations had already happened, but literally the next morning I woke up with understanding. My head hurts from thinking, moreover, probably because of this, I got very sick and my temperature went over 40C.
My girlfriend just texted me, we had a big fight 6 days before, I waited for us to make up, got happy when I saw the message and, well, I've never felt like this before. I am a closed person, I don’t have friends with whom I am open, I couldn’t even fully open up to a girlfriend, and now I’m all alone, I have no one to talk to, discuss,
moreover, I live with a family that I do not like and in a place that is disgusting to me. Well, here I am, sitting complaining on UA-cam in the comments.
@@_pixel_2274 you have a job ?
@@amyourhopeyouremyhopeamjho1727 no, I'm studying in school
@@_pixel_2274 so you were dating while going to school?
The first one is happening to me now. Also, that person is already with someone and I'm trying my best to focus on myself.
4/10! Did not tackle the more powerful reason why love is hard
I feel like this video was afraid to tackle the more common and dire reasons why relationships and love does not workout
Saying bad comments on social media and a brain with full of love is like having a drug addiction isn’t something I personally think is a crucial point why love works out
Better reasons why love does not workout
Loss of attraction
People change
Change of values
Different goals in life
Too many red flags
Jealousy
Poor communication
& more
Simply most of the time love is not enough
What the video did great
*****Loneliness in marriages
Being in love can lead to bad decisions for yourself and the other person
*****Young people have more risk to unstable mental health when in a relationship
Poor support systems with family and friends in relationships
We should know correct age does matter after child age many people's getting in love nothing bad in it but we should learn these harsh truths so that it will not hurt us later and never distract yourself towards your goals that's it.
Your narrators voice is very breathy. They might consider a career in audio romance novels.
I have an emotional problem My wounds are impossible to fix My heart is black
Eyo, Psych2Go, I have a great video suggestion: I find the MBTI 16 personality types incredibly interesting, and it's a great topic on psychology, maybe talk about some of each personality types traits? You don't have to, I just really like this topic so it would mean alot if this topic showed up on here.
Thanks for the videos!! I must sleep now :)
Wow! You are amazing 😍💕
No, you are amazing for being here!
I‘ve got a question for the first aspect! The fact that love can intoxicating. I‘ve been feeling like this lately… is there a way I can improve the situation? I‘ve talked with boyfriend that I was feeling like that, but I still feel the presence of nervousness and tiredness, loss of appetite, etc. The feeling is unbearable… What can I do myself to overcome this issue?
Just broke up with my bf today the video is the right time
How are you feeling after your breakup?
The animation at 5:30 killed me XD
🥺The...there’s gotta be someone out there who’d like to date me right?
im on the aroace spectrum so everyone so often me and my girlfriend take a “break” and spend a week or two just by ourselves, half because we’re both autistic and managing relationships is difficult for us and half because it keeps us both happy and we aren’t as depressed as we were with past relationships!
So love is a harmful and negative, and love is false?
Does love exist?
Is their any point to even trying to fall in love?
Thank you for you videos, I've been using these videos to teach me what emotions are like as I can't read emotions due to my condition and been closed off in fear of others for years to the point of being emotionally numb. One the reasons I was encouraged to explore and express me emotions is because I was made to believe that love was a positive thing.
I honestly belived love was the point of life because I don't know why I should even bother to live if there is no point. I'm a very logically based person.
Should i remain emotionally repressed and distant?
Love would be easy to avoid like personal connections.
Could someone answer my inquiries as I'm having a crisis over them and I can't compute the damage to the illusion I've had.
Love was never meant to be the point of live.
As an INTP I can understand, that emotions seem like an illusion and I am no therapist, but even without love, there are still many things in life worth living for. Here are some things that I like to strive for: Wisdom, Charisma, Adventure & Freedom, Creativity and even though often seen as a bad thing to live for Power & Status are also part of it. In the end you have to find something for yourself, even if you already have given up. I hope someday you will find happiness and maybe love as a topping. 🧁 And in the video are only shown the bad sides of love, if things go wrong, but they don't have to.
Typically, love is a positive thing, however too much of a good thing can become bad. Also, end up loving the wrong person, and you're in for a bad time. While you want to avoid the bad, you have to expose yourself to the risk of finding the bad in order to find the good (primarily due to the fact we going out to meet strangers. You're not always sure what you're getting into early on). Because of that, I've seen advice stating you'll want to fall back on your support circle to weather negative experiences (including bad romances), as being in isolation while dealing with negative life experiences absolutely sucks.
I know nothing about your life or what experiences led you to that conclusion, so let me know if this sounds presumptuous: I don't think you should be worrying about love anytime soon. If your at point where you don't even want to form personal connections, then an intimate relationship is out of the question. It's like trying run a marathon when you can only crawl.
Rather than ask you to reconsider your stance on love, I say start smaller. Learn to establish personal connections first. Find people you do want to be friends with. Learn to read emotions (If you can. If it's due to a medical condition, I'm not sure what to say). Take up hobbies that you enjoy and find other people who enjoy them. Take baby steps and gradually adjust yourself. Once you've done that, you can reconsider your stance on love. If you still feel the same way, then you're at least doing what you love with people you're friendly with.
Thank you Elderblue, infernokid and o^o. I've been in a tough patch for a couple of years know and I've recently looked back on my life merely to see it's a long tapastry of being manipulated and used and feeling alone and the main thing that kept me going was lthe idea of love and watching this video shook my belief on a hard day and caused my to have a crisis.
It's hard when you can't read emotions as it's hard to learn what they are and full understand them so I sorry for jumping to conclusions when I lost my head.
Your words have helped me and given me things to think about.
Sorry if this seems a lacluster response to yours, I'm honestly struggling to express my gratitude
Thank you again
@@decency2824 No problem. It makes sense why you'd close yourself off. You just wanted to protect yourself. I can relate to that. Should you desire to take the next step, I wish you the best of luck.
@@infernokid450 Thank you, I hope luck follows you in all that you do
Hey ! I really like your contents i watch each and every video they are
helpful❤ keep going!
Thank you for your support! What other content would you like to see?