Hey Brian, I just stumble on this video while scrolling and honestly this is what I'm trying to do not only in menswear aspect but also all aspects in my life. Now unlike some refined gentlemen here who has grown thick skin to deal with haters, I'm a big guy with big feelings and highly sensitive person. When you say that it hurts, it truly hurts. It's also sucks because I want to better up my game and stay authentic as the way I am but on the other hand insults and bullies are everywhere and they often try to make me look bad. I just graduated college and about to enter workforce and honestly it can be terrifying for soft person like me to go because I've heard countless times that people in workforce are more evil and ferocious when it comes to bring people down. I just hope that by sharing this comment I can relate to some people here because I notice that HSS community is one of the best when it comes to support each other. Be nice and respectful and hopefully everyone can get along very well. Greetings from your not so new subscriber 😊
Wow. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share that with me and everyone else here. You have a great mindset and I hope I can continue to inspire you to do your best. I am humbled by your comment and to have you as a subscriber.
I would classify myself as a big guy with big feelings and being highly sensitive as well. Dealing with haters/complaints/negative comments really suck. I think with age, experience and practice, your skin does grow a little thicker (I'm assuming you're in your early~mid 20s from your comment on just graduating college). I just wanted to say that there will always be someone picking on your scabs until they break through, but on the other hand there are a lot of respectful and helpful people in the world just waiting to cheer you on. The former group, the bullies and haters, are people who don't know how to deal with their own negative emotions and would rather drag down others to their level instead of using that energy to better themselves. So it is difficult I know, but try not to let the pain deter too long, focus on those things that matter, and I'm sure you're going to do well! With that, I wish you the very best on your new professional journey and your journey through menswear! - Han
@@hespokestyle Thanks for your support, and wow this is the first time I got my comment pinned. Really shows that you do care to your viewers, glad to be here 😊
Passive aggressive comments reveal so much about their insecurities rather than anything to do with you. When you realise that it makes criticism so much fun to deal with. How you deal with it depends on the person and the situation but if you don’t take it personally and just analyse their comment it so easy to see their weakness and deal with it. It really makes you bullet proof.
Yeah, I feel the same and it really sucks. I had to cut ties with all of my classmates from high school because of this. I honestly feel better and relieved to get that burden off my shoulders.
Yes! Do it with confidence, Man. Regarding your email... The best advice I can give you is to continue to watch the videos here on the channel. You'll learn just about everything you're asking for!
Your light is a little high. If you put it a little to the side of you it would reflect on your eyes and look nicer. LIke this, your eyes look dead because of the shadow. Also, I find it hard to believe you have haters lol You seem really nice and genuine so I didnt expect a video like this from you. You're like the nice part of youtube, thanks!
I really needed this video, Brian. In high school, I had problems with bullying and dressing well it was the way I found to improve my confidence. I am very grateful for this video. Thank you for, with your content making us stronger, more elegant, educated and why not better human beings? thank you sir. Greetings from Brazil
You're so welcome, Josué. I appreciate you taking the time to comment and am happy that you enjoy the content here. All of these things tie together so I thought this was an important video to make.
@@hespokestyle Hmmmm...I'd not say I've known Germans to be complainers either but it may just be perspective. Canadians are known for being polite (unless it's a hockey game) and for apologizing often which I'm sorry about.
I had one of those insults from a colleague once. I offered to take him shopping. He thought about it and said OK. Amother well dressed colleage and I changed his look, and his attitude. View the insult as an invitation. This is an excellent video, like all your videos. Thank you
You actually have three thumbs down. Not two. Your inability to count and be accurate is mind numbing. I used to be a fan of yours but this.......is inexcusable. Therefore my free will has been totally dismantled and i have no choice but to hate you. Haters gonna hate and Bigots gonna Big. I’m being sarcastic by the way! 😉
What happened to our society when one is almost forced to feel uncomfortable and apologize for dressing up?! It's like feeling uncomfortable and apologizing for being polite and using refined, proper, and polite language.
Hi Brian, Another great video. I have always been self conscious about how I look and what others think of what I am wearing. Your channel has given me the confidence to not care and to wear what makes me feel good about myself. Thanks.
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty : You know what they call a guy who pays that much attention to his clothes, don't you? Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland : Mm-hmm. A grown-up.
Your comments are SO valid! Ever since I lost weight, started dressing better, went vegan and working on my poetry, I've been encountering a lot of haters! Sometimes I want to curse them out, but like you said, it's better not to react. I've realized that when people hate on you you must be doing something right!
Thank you for this vid. I live in a very informal country, most of the time, men here dress in a shabby T, shorts, and flipflops. About a year ago, I decided to step up my game and started dressing with a lot more style. It felt true. It felt right. Needless to say, I got my share of haters... I have never let it discourage me and your channel has been an amazing source of inspiration and encouragement. Thank you, Brian.
@@hespokestyle I honestly never thought about it coming across as passive aggressive. I just thought about it as pointing out the obvious reasons for their comment without getting into a altercation. It's always been a quick situation ender for me at least.
I have no problem with people and how they dress; I worked with an IT company that had a free dress policy. Totally cool with all that. I didn't care if they wore jean's and t-shirts with comic/cartoon motifs. My role was a customer facing role. Of course, I wore a suit and tie - something I'm most comfortable with. So I got told that I was upsetting others in the office and making them feel uncomfortable. I'm a big Strategy 4 kind of response. Come back with smiles and niceties. Thanks for the video.
You're welcome, David! Yes, I really feel like anything that is consumer-facing requires a level of dress that telegraphs confidence, competence, and professionalism.
I personally love kpop and there are many people who don't so whenever they say "that band sucks!" or something like that i just tell them to grab a straw cuz they suck too, And that jealousy is a disease, get well soon.
Great that you get around this very real side of the 'matter'. The first time I was wearing my new Allen Edmonds PA. And old friend walked by on the street. I smiled and said hello - He gave me the 'elevator' look - scanned me in a second and he actually froze, starring right out in the air. Precisely at that moment I knew I had 'done',.......something. 😉
My mother's side of the family like to dress well and so do I. When my grandfather died, I inherited his cravats and walking sticks. I was not very good at handling hurtful criticisms about the conservative way I sometimes liked to dress but I did find a sort of outlet to sometimes wear or use these items, together with an overcoat, when I walked to attend mass on Sundays, in the winter months. Older and wiser now, I can cope with the odd disparaging remarks with humour, and wear attire from my select little wardrobe with confidence and pride. Watching from New Zealand, subscribed, like your material and reading the comments' section.
Day after day? I like the new schedule :) I think that those strategies have to correlate with who is the "hater". A good friend or a close family member should make you reflect before you react, while a colleague or a stranger might deserve a good comeback - and you might not like to hit a good friend back or reflect on a true hater. Also, if you do you and you are proud of who you are, I believe you can pull off mostly anything. You could be a peacock for all that matters, if you do it with confidence. This may shut down haters before they even hate. On a totally unrelated note - I really like your jacket, is it from the HSS x MAB line? Looks great. Cheers.
Thanks for the comment, Yoni. Yes, I agree with you. As you can tell, this video is geared primarily towards those who are just starting to change how they dress. Re the jacket...yes! Fingers crossed we will launch after Labor Day.
Brian you are the man bro another great video. There is nothing worse for a hater than just ignore them . Their comment dies right where it begins because there is no follow up from you.
Had a friend one time ask me to dress down because his wife was going to be where we were going. I did so but still presentable and even asked for his approval of the outfit by sending him a picture to be a good gentleman (he approved).Later on he came up to me and said his wife was still talking about how well dressed I was and why he couldn't look like me, lmfao he still doesn't want to hang out with me but I actually have felt flattered this entire time I told him hey just ask for some advice and improve your wardrobe. He hasn't done so yet even though he knows what she likes, yeah he's been demoted to associate solely based on that, can't respect a man that can't bend just a tiny bit to his wife's obtainable and easy to change wish.
"kill them with kindness" is a bullshtt strategy! people see through that and it just pisses them off. why would you want to piss people off? , Be authentic!
A great video about a very important topic! I never really faced a lot of hate from people about me dressing up, but the few hate I indeed faced was pretty hard to deal with because I do not have anyone in my peer group with the same passion. That's actually something social media helped me with - even though it mostly does the exact opposite by showing us perfection that can never be achieved in reality to that point. But being part of a community with likeminded people (may it be Facebook Style Groups, Instagram, this comment section or at this point even real friends in other countries I was able to make) really boosted my confidence and kept me going on this journey.
So awesome to hear. And appreciate you sharing that. Your point about social media is interesting. Personally, I feel like Instagram is the devil when it comes to confidence and feeling good about yourself. I honestly do not like the platform for those reasons. I don't follow the people you might "think" I would follow because I would sometimes be measuring myself up and that was 1) unhealthy and 2) not a productive use of time. Focus on yourself and you'll be better off.
@@hespokestyle I could not agree more! On the other hand, I started creating content on Instagram a couple of months ago and some people seem to like it. Same applies to you in a much bigger scale. That boosts confidence again!
Excellent pointers Brian, I wholly agree with the statement that the jabs usually tell more about the bully more than anything. No matter how much you prepare though, I think it's still difficult to react properly once you get hit with a negative comment however. 🤬 Anywho, not related to the video but will we get a new episode of Speaking Style soon? Been waiting for it! - Han
Yes, it’s quite difficult. But the more you practice, the better you become. I’m just like anything. Podcast.... yes still have an episode on the cutting room floor. Some things have taken me away from being able to really focus on that for the moment unfortunately.
@@hespokestyle Definitely a skill that needs practicing yes, though I wish people didn't need to learn it at all to begin with. With regards to the podcast, ah, okay well I hope it's all for the better! - Han
Brian, I also think it's important to recognize that things are tough for a lot of folks right now and, as you can see in the media, people are upset and prone to lashing out. As you mention, the criticism usually has nothing at all to do with you. Keep up the great work!
So much ego in the replies here. If your reaction is to somehow "burn" or otherwise set yourself on some kind of pedestal, you might want to rethink what "gentleman" actually means.
Rafeal at GG had a good answer for ‘Why are you so dressed up? ‘It’s called adulthood’ never used that but it’s a great response....maybe sometime we can talk about the history of menswear and how it flipped from children wanting to dress like adults and how we got to adults wanting to dress like children....Cheers.
While it is a great reply to throw at your peers and juniors, you cannot make that come-back to someone who is 10-20 years your superior and you also look up to them in other respects.
Ádám Kun Pretty sure though people 10 to 20 years older than you are going to ask why you’re dressed up they’re probably going to like the fact that you are....
@@brentl.vaneaton6901 I still had the honor of meeting that generation that appreaciated classical clothing and manners, they are fading away and 30-40 or more years older than me (so well into their 70s and older). I work in academia and nearly no one dresses up. :(
Hey Andy! A big hello from Ireland. I really like your informative videos. I look forward to receiving notification when you have a new video. If I didn't have something nice, or positive, I think it's best to keep my mouth shut. But, that's just me. Keep the great videos coming.
The problem is the haters hate behind your back. They criticize you to others behind your back. They have a team of one eye monsters who don't trust you.
I always get comments about how well I dress. I even was asked why i always dress up. I told them thank you. I eventually told him when you have a professional job, I feel you should dress like a professional.
I wear a size 14 shoe and I can't tell you how many guys ask me where I get my shoes. Everyone one from laborers to professionals. The best compliment that i am proud of is when a gentleman walked by and said nice shoes. I had on Allen Edmond tan wingtips with blue replacement laces. Those places with get you some attention.
Dressing up is probably a lot easier in the West. Here in Asia (Specifically here in the Philippines), people are more likely to judge you because your outfits are more well-put-together than theirs. For example, just last week, when I was travelling to visit a friend who was having a baby, someone just went up to me and told me that I looked like a retard because I was wearing a summer sport coat combination. It's always annoying when people judge you, let alone call you a retard.
Great Video, Bri 2 Fly!!. This video was on point and on time. It seems like when you are aspiring to go up, our so-called friends reveal their true colors through words and you discovered "Wow, I thought they supported me and my goals." I love the pointers you gave in this. My only suggestion is to re-title your video: "10 Ways to SHUT DOWN Haters...and the "SHADERS!" Hehe
Luckily I don't get hate as often as I get compliments but it does happen occasionally. I have developed some answers since people tend to say the same things like "Why do you wear a suit and tie?" or "Why are you always so dressed up?" and I typically just say things like "Why don't you wear a suit? Why don't you dress up?" It also seems that older people really like my style since I'm a teenager and I am keeping this tradition alive. I just dress the way I like and I'm not going to change that for anyone. Wear what you like y'all.
Brian, when you mentioned jiu Jitsu. I remembered Martial Arts and world of UFC which bought me to Connor McGregor. He used to were suits and dress sharp. Oftentimes wearing bright bold outlandish colors. In an interview he said that it's all part of the mental warfare. He dresses up so everyone he faces agaisnt feels like they are facing a guy who has everything set in life, both in the cage and outside. His level of dressing was so sharp off stage too that naturally it opened him a lot of opportunities. No one can deny the importance of dressing up and it goes well with your points. Now because of him every other UFC fighter is dressing up.
While most people are either complementary or at least accepting of a man dressing well there are a few and often vocal naysayers. A simple but polite "no" and then declining further engagement with those who ask negative questions about why you dress nicely usually suffices.
Soberingly we are all truly alone. What that means about comments is yeah, it is really about the person making the comment, not the object of the comment. If someone calls another person ugly it means they are sensitive about their own appearance. When they hate on me dressing well I know it is them feeling insecure about their fashion, their style, their disposable income, etc. So it can hurt, but I feel their hurt too, which like you said can be an opportunity to connect. Awesome video. Thanks for the words and advice.
Great content, well thought. It is true for dressing well, but can actually apply to many occasions where you are facing criticism overall. Well put, cher Brian. Thank you.
These are all great ideas. My personal hit back strategy is, "I'm sure that one day you'll find a man that dresses just the way you like". I dress well for me. What other people think is incidental meaningless. Please keep the videos coming. They're great!
This is such a great and encouraging video! Really glad you made it into a video as well rather than writing since in this situation, I think it's better to hear this message rather than reading it. Now we can rewatch as needed lol...yea I'll be back most likely soon hahaha.
As an 18 year old, my aunt always criticised me for wearing tailored clothing as she wanted me to dress casually in jeans and t-shirts. But, I kept making my wardrobe more smart casual without having to retreat to jeans, and instead used elements like a suede jacket to add a casual sophistication to my look. Now, she barely makes a comment on my look, and if she does, it's usually a complement. Her criticism was valid and apart from her criticism, I absolutely don't have any "haters". My one and only friend is also interested in classic menswear, so he is very supportive of my style choices as we both follow a similar style (the style inspired by the legendary Brian Sacawa). As for strangers, I don't get any comments from them, although I get frequent stares whenever I go out being well dressed. I also don't like socializing a lot as I am a heavy introvert, and hence I have a very small social circle (my family and one friend), which reduces the chances of me having any "haters" drastically P.S: Loved the intro!
Video isn't going up. There was another issue with Justus's camera going out. New episode is on cutting room floor. I've just had too many other things on my plate to finish the edit.
Thank you for the great insight provided in your video's. I am I new viewer and noticed you mentioned having lived in Baltimore. Is there a tailor you could recommend in Pikeville? Thanks!
You’re very welcome! Thanks for your support and hope you’ve subbed. I’ve had many requests for my tailor and I’ve spoken to him about the business but unfortunately he is not taking any new clients. I have used QG in the past but with mixed results and theirs turnaround was quite slow.
Great video Brian, thanks. About 2-3years ago I went to buy new pair of shoes and I really got into the weeds of it as far as quality, style, price, etc and the mix of them all and this led me on an incredible (life changing) journey and I made a dedication to myself to up my shoe game and the nice shoes (of course) warrant a better wardrobe.. lol.. At the start, I received many of the comments you mentioned and it is a blow to your psyche when friends & co-workers say those things.. yes. You need to put them in perspective and a couple years later here I am and people take it for granted that I always dress well.
Great video. If I can suggest something, it would be great if you gave examples on some of those points. Im not really sure what you mean by killing them with kindness for example. Do you mean complimenting their outfit or something else entirely? Anyway great vid as I said but some examples would have made it even better
The insecure people will be loud and try to bring you down if you dress stylishly. The secure, successful people will just quietly listen to what you have to say.
Hey Brian, I just stumble on this video while scrolling and honestly this is what I'm trying to do not only in menswear aspect but also all aspects in my life. Now unlike some refined gentlemen here who has grown thick skin to deal with haters, I'm a big guy with big feelings and highly sensitive person. When you say that it hurts, it truly hurts. It's also sucks because I want to better up my game and stay authentic as the way I am but on the other hand insults and bullies are everywhere and they often try to make me look bad.
I just graduated college and about to enter workforce and honestly it can be terrifying for soft person like me to go because I've heard countless times that people in workforce are more evil and ferocious when it comes to bring people down. I just hope that by sharing this comment I can relate to some people here because I notice that HSS community is one of the best when it comes to support each other. Be nice and respectful and hopefully everyone can get along very well.
Greetings from your not so new subscriber 😊
Wow. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share that with me and everyone else here. You have a great mindset and I hope I can continue to inspire you to do your best. I am humbled by your comment and to have you as a subscriber.
I would classify myself as a big guy with big feelings and being highly sensitive as well. Dealing with haters/complaints/negative comments really suck. I think with age, experience and practice, your skin does grow a little thicker (I'm assuming you're in your early~mid 20s from your comment on just graduating college).
I just wanted to say that there will always be someone picking on your scabs until they break through, but on the other hand there are a lot of respectful and helpful people in the world just waiting to cheer you on. The former group, the bullies and haters, are people who don't know how to deal with their own negative emotions and would rather drag down others to their level instead of using that energy to better themselves. So it is difficult I know, but try not to let the pain deter too long, focus on those things that matter, and I'm sure you're going to do well!
With that, I wish you the very best on your new professional journey and your journey through menswear! - Han
@@hespokestyle Thanks for your support, and wow this is the first time I got my comment pinned. Really shows that you do care to your viewers, glad to be here 😊
@@nukie404 Thank you for your support and wisdom, hope we can get through this together
Hopefully they will raise their standards. Or if needed and possible, surround yourself with better people.
" The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly" Nietzsche
Cheers.
Danmmm❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
Nice pocket square, Brian. Where’d you get it...Italy? Whatdoya think you’re better than us or soMoeThiNg?
Great video 😉
Hahahaha! Cheers, Brock.
Brock dropping by😀!!!
The vulnerability you show here is a) endearing and b) validating to the rest of us. Thanks for making this one, Brian.
You're very welcome, Jay. This channel is about you guys!
In a society filled with people who look like they just rolled out of bed it is refreshing to see men dressed with dignity and respect for others.
Thanks for chiming in, Jan!
Them: “What, are you trying to show off or something?”
Me: “No, I’m just trying to make you look bad.” 🔥🔥🔥
Burn!
Laughed so hard with the thumbs down comment 😂
It's funny because it's true.
@@hespokestyle maybe he's Australian, it's a thumbs up from down under?
@derosa1989 😂
Funny, yeah I noticed that too...🤔 BTW, not me 😂
Brent L. Van Eaton I’m positive it is NOT you!
As the saying goes "when you start getting haters then you know you've arrived"
Can’t please everyone.
“Stay focused, stay motivated, and ignore the boos because those are coming from the cheap seats.”
Say it again for the people in the back, Unc!!!👏👏👏
Thanks, as always, for the comment.
Most guys dress like sh*t because it's easy. What we do isn't always easy at first.
Exactly.
Passive aggressive comments reveal so much about their insecurities rather than anything to do with you. When you realise that it makes criticism so much fun to deal with. How you deal with it depends on the person and the situation but if you don’t take it personally and just analyse their comment it so easy to see their weakness and deal with it. It really makes you bullet proof.
Thanks for that, Michael!
My favorite answer to
Why are you dressed like that? Is
My Star fleet uniform is at the cleaners.
Haha. That's funny. Thanks for the comment, Michael!
I am going to steal that one ....lol
The worst thing is when the comments come from someone close to you
If they're super negative and meant to hurt, for sure.
Yeah, I feel the same and it really sucks. I had to cut ties with all of my classmates from high school because of this. I honestly feel better and relieved to get that burden off my shoulders.
@@altr. yup, it definitely feels good when you get rid of those toxic "friends"
@@villegas24 totally, dude! I honestly became stronger by dealing with toxicity. Kind of weird now that I write it out like this, but kind of cool lol
Number 11 : Don’t give other people’s opinions of you, more value than your own opinions about yourself. Good content Brian!! 👌🏾
💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
"Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can, a gentleman will walk but never run".
Good one!
That’s a quote for Sun Tsu
He teaches me style. I rock the streets of Nairobi Kenya. Thanks to Brian sacawa
Yes! Do it with confidence, Man. Regarding your email... The best advice I can give you is to continue to watch the videos here on the channel. You'll learn just about everything you're asking for!
"Why are you wearing a suit? What's the occasion, have you got a court hearing?"
" No, just a regular Thursday."
Hahaha. Love it. Cheers, Stuart. However, this WAS filmed on a Monday night.... :)
@@hespokestyle that's your fault for taking so long to release it for us all 😉
@@stuarthb8900 Hey, man, we do our best! :) Next three are already in the can. Ian started hating on me for the quick turnaround asks! LOL
Let Them Hate!! THEY have the issues and its"NON OF MY BUSINESS!!"
Appreciate you chiming in!
Your light is a little high. If you put it a little to the side of you it would reflect on your eyes and look nicer. LIke this, your eyes look dead because of the shadow. Also, I find it hard to believe you have haters lol You seem really nice and genuine so I didnt expect a video like this from you. You're like the nice part of youtube, thanks!
Appreciate that, Erwin. Oh, yeah, there are haters here! I was serious about the few thumbs downs that always appear rather quickly...
Remember that jealousy and insecurity is why people act like this.
I really needed this video, Brian. In high school, I had problems with bullying and dressing well it was the way I found to improve my confidence. I am very grateful for this video. Thank you for, with your content making us stronger, more elegant, educated and why not better human beings? thank you sir. Greetings from Brazil
You're so welcome, Josué. I appreciate you taking the time to comment and am happy that you enjoy the content here. All of these things tie together so I thought this was an important video to make.
In 2020, you don't dress up for others, but for yourself.
Definitely the case!
I"m Canadian, we are well known for "tall poppy syndrome", tendency for some to criticize those who stand out. Take it as a compliment indeed!
Ah, I wasn't aware that was a Canadian attribute!
@@hespokestyle As a Canadian myself I wasn't aware of this trait either.
RPM like how I learned from Justus that Germans complained a lot!
@@hespokestyle Hmmmm...I'd not say I've known Germans to be complainers either but it may just be perspective.
Canadians are known for being polite (unless it's a hockey game) and for apologizing often which I'm sorry about.
@@Retired_Gentleman Hahahaha. I was surprised too. But Justus (and others) assure me that it is a real thing.
Great advices!
My respond to why you dress up during SIP? “ you never know who you’re going to FaceTime today”
Cheers 🥂
Nice! Thanks, as always, for the comment, Farshid.
I had one of those insults from a colleague once. I offered to take him shopping. He thought about it and said OK. Amother well dressed colleage and I changed his look, and his attitude. View the insult as an invitation. This is an excellent video, like all your videos. Thank you
Yup, what usually happens is that you end up leading by example. I've seen that MANY times personally.
Kill them with kindness. Step one: name your machete, "Kindness".
🤣
I’ve had a lot of people say to me throughout my style journey “Oh why are you so dressed up” and I simply say: I’m not dressed up. You are not.
Nice. Like it.
You actually have three thumbs down. Not two. Your inability to count and be accurate is mind numbing. I used to be a fan of yours but this.......is inexcusable. Therefore my free will has been totally dismantled and i have no choice but to hate you. Haters gonna hate and Bigots gonna Big. I’m being sarcastic by the way! 😉
LOL
It’s not so-much hate, its speculation that I am gay, or I get called Metrosexual. Too-bad, I don’t care
I was considering putting that in the intro because I believe we've all heard that.
What happened to our society when one is almost forced to feel uncomfortable and apologize for dressing up?! It's like feeling uncomfortable and apologizing for being polite and using refined, proper, and polite language.
Many people choose the path of least resistance.
Hi Brian, Another great video. I have always been self conscious about how I look and what others think of what I am wearing. Your channel has given me the confidence to not care and to wear what makes me feel good about myself. Thanks.
Many thanks, Andy. Appreciate your continued support. More to come!
Haters gonna hate. Not slowing me down even a bit. Thanks Brian for touching on this topic.
Needed to be done.
Off. James 'Jimmy' McNulty : You know what they call a guy who pays that much attention to his clothes, don't you?
Det. William 'Bunk' Moreland : Mm-hmm. A grown-up.
You are the man for pulling that quote! The Wire is one of the best shows ever.
He Spoke Style extra points for a show about Baltimore.
💪🏻💪🏻
My new favourite UA-cam channel. Thankes.
Thanks! Welcome.
Your comments are SO valid! Ever since I lost weight, started dressing better, went vegan and working on my poetry, I've been encountering a lot of haters! Sometimes I want to curse them out, but like you said, it's better not to react. I've realized that when people hate on you you must be doing something right!
Thank you for this vid. I live in a very informal country, most of the time, men here dress in a shabby T, shorts, and flipflops.
About a year ago, I decided to step up my game and started dressing with a lot more style. It felt true. It felt right.
Needless to say, I got my share of haters... I have never let it discourage me and your channel has been an amazing source of inspiration and encouragement.
Thank you, Brian.
So glad to hear that! I appreciate your continued support!
An easy response is just to ask them if they feel better about themselves now. It makes them look bad without making you look bad
Don't you feel like that is a bit passive aggressive? Usually doesn't play so well, in my experience.
@@hespokestyle I honestly never thought about it coming across as passive aggressive. I just thought about it as pointing out the obvious reasons for their comment without getting into a altercation. It's always been a quick situation ender for me at least.
@@noneofyourbusiness9230 Hey, stick with what works!
I have no problem with people and how they dress; I worked with an IT company that had a free dress policy. Totally cool with all that. I didn't care if they wore jean's and t-shirts with comic/cartoon motifs. My role was a customer facing role.
Of course, I wore a suit and tie - something I'm most comfortable with. So I got told that I was upsetting others in the office and making them feel uncomfortable.
I'm a big Strategy 4 kind of response. Come back with smiles and niceties.
Thanks for the video.
You're welcome, David! Yes, I really feel like anything that is consumer-facing requires a level of dress that telegraphs confidence, competence, and professionalism.
Dealing with haters as a real gentleman should. Thanks Brian, for sharing this.
You're welcome, Raul. There's an approach for everyone in this video, I believe.
I personally love kpop and there are many people who don't so whenever they say "that band sucks!" or something like that i just tell them to grab a straw cuz they suck too, And that jealousy is a disease, get well soon.
One line i always loved” i never take criticisms from someone that i would not ask for there opinion or advice”
Nice. I like that.
My come back is : I'm adding some class to this place ( in a humorous tone ).
Ahahaha! I love that.
I'll be honest, i didn't expect this. Thanks
You're very welcome. Hope it is helpful.
Great that you get around this very real side of the 'matter'. The first time I was wearing my new Allen Edmonds PA. And old friend walked by on the street. I smiled and said hello - He gave me the 'elevator' look - scanned me in a second and he actually froze, starring right out in the air. Precisely at that moment I knew I had 'done',.......something. 😉
Haha, nice! Thanks for the comment, Hans!
He Spoke Style You are welcome 🙏🏻
My mother's side of the family like to dress well and so do I. When my grandfather died, I inherited his cravats and walking sticks. I was not very good at handling hurtful criticisms about the conservative way I sometimes liked to dress but I did find a sort of outlet to sometimes wear or use these items, together with an overcoat, when I walked to attend mass on Sundays, in the winter months. Older and wiser now, I can cope with the odd disparaging remarks with humour, and wear attire from my select little wardrobe with confidence and pride. Watching from New Zealand, subscribed, like your material and reading the comments' section.
Great advice! I ignore small-minded people in all aspects of my life.
Yes, to quote a famous modern sage: ain't nobody got time for that.
Day after day? I like the new schedule :)
I think that those strategies have to correlate with who is the "hater". A good friend or a close family member should make you reflect before you react, while a colleague or a stranger might deserve a good comeback - and you might not like to hit a good friend back or reflect on a true hater.
Also, if you do you and you are proud of who you are, I believe you can pull off mostly anything. You could be a peacock for all that matters, if you do it with confidence. This may shut down haters before they even hate.
On a totally unrelated note - I really like your jacket, is it from the HSS x MAB line? Looks great.
Cheers.
Thanks for the comment, Yoni. Yes, I agree with you. As you can tell, this video is geared primarily towards those who are just starting to change how they dress. Re the jacket...yes! Fingers crossed we will launch after Labor Day.
@@hespokestyle Can't wait. They look great. Would international shipping be available?
YoniBonzi yes, indeed
We are with you brian 🤘❤️😎
I feel it! Thanks, Yash. Always appreciate the comment.
I get a lot of the condescending “well don’t you look nice today”
That’s some classic insecurity coming at you right there.
Brian you are the man bro another great video. There is nothing worse for a hater than just ignore them . Their comment dies right where it begins because there is no follow up from you.
Thank yuh so much. Appreciate the support!
The most important watch your self and don't be one of them if you see someone succeeded
Yes.
@@hespokestyle ♥♥♥
@@riozaki3681 Cheers.
10 haters (so far) disliked this video. Small people on the inside. Smeagols.
Thanks for the comment and support!
@@hespokestyle My pleasure !
Had a friend one time ask me to dress down because his wife was going to be where we were going. I did so but still presentable and even asked for his approval of the outfit by sending him a picture to be a good gentleman (he approved).Later on he came up to me and said his wife was still talking about how well dressed I was and why he couldn't look like me, lmfao he still doesn't want to hang out with me but I actually have felt flattered this entire time I told him hey just ask for some advice and improve your wardrobe. He hasn't done so yet even though he knows what she likes, yeah he's been demoted to associate solely based on that, can't respect a man that can't bend just a tiny bit to his wife's obtainable and easy to change wish.
"kill them with kindness"
is a bullshtt strategy!
people see through that and
it just pisses them off.
why would you want to piss people off?
, Be authentic!
A great video about a very important topic! I never really faced a lot of hate from people about me dressing up, but the few hate I indeed faced was pretty hard to deal with because I do not have anyone in my peer group with the same passion. That's actually something social media helped me with - even though it mostly does the exact opposite by showing us perfection that can never be achieved in reality to that point. But being part of a community with likeminded people (may it be Facebook Style Groups, Instagram, this comment section or at this point even real friends in other countries I was able to make) really boosted my confidence and kept me going on this journey.
So awesome to hear. And appreciate you sharing that. Your point about social media is interesting. Personally, I feel like Instagram is the devil when it comes to confidence and feeling good about yourself. I honestly do not like the platform for those reasons. I don't follow the people you might "think" I would follow because I would sometimes be measuring myself up and that was 1) unhealthy and 2) not a productive use of time. Focus on yourself and you'll be better off.
@@hespokestyle I could not agree more! On the other hand, I started creating content on Instagram a couple of months ago and some people seem to like it. Same applies to you in a much bigger scale. That boosts confidence again!
@@SartorialStyles Awesome!
Hahaha, there are litelaly 2 dislikes to the video. Nice content, as always, thanks for the efford
Told ya!
Excellent pointers Brian, I wholly agree with the statement that the jabs usually tell more about the bully more than anything. No matter how much you prepare though, I think it's still difficult to react properly once you get hit with a negative comment however. 🤬
Anywho, not related to the video but will we get a new episode of Speaking Style soon? Been waiting for it! - Han
Yes, it’s quite difficult. But the more you practice, the better you become. I’m just like anything. Podcast.... yes still have an episode on the cutting room floor. Some things have taken me away from being able to really focus on that for the moment unfortunately.
@@hespokestyle Definitely a skill that needs practicing yes, though I wish people didn't need to learn it at all to begin with.
With regards to the podcast, ah, okay well I hope it's all for the better! - Han
@@nukie404 Yup! Lots happening. All good.
@@hespokestyle Great to hear. Wishing for the best on all the endeavors! - Han
Brian, I also think it's important to recognize that things are tough for a lot of folks right now and, as you can see in the media, people are upset and prone to lashing out. As you mention, the criticism usually has nothing at all to do with you. Keep up the great work!
Thanks for chiming in, Peter! And wilco!
@@hespokestyle I just learned a new acronym! ;)
@@plappin One of my favorite Army terms. Here's another: ack. Love sending that as a reply. Means acknowledged.
So much ego in the replies here. If your reaction is to somehow "burn" or otherwise set yourself on some kind of pedestal, you might want to rethink what "gentleman" actually means.
Living well is the best revenge.
Thanks for chiming in!
Rafeal at GG had a good answer for ‘Why are you so dressed up? ‘It’s called adulthood’ never used that but it’s a great response....maybe sometime we can talk about the history of menswear and how it flipped from children wanting to dress like adults and how we got to adults wanting to dress like children....Cheers.
Interesting topic!
While it is a great reply to throw at your peers and juniors, you cannot make that come-back to someone who is 10-20 years your superior and you also look up to them in other respects.
Ádám Kun Pretty sure though people 10 to 20 years older than you are going to ask why you’re dressed up they’re probably going to like the fact that you are....
@@brentl.vaneaton6901 I still had the honor of meeting that generation that appreaciated classical clothing and manners, they are fading away and 30-40 or more years older than me (so well into their 70s and older). I work in academia and nearly no one dresses up. :(
Ádám Kun indeed they are, cheers....
Hey Andy! A big hello from Ireland.
I really like your informative videos. I look forward to receiving notification when you have a new video.
If I didn't have something nice, or positive, I think it's best to keep my mouth shut. But, that's just me.
Keep the great videos coming.
That's a great mantra to live by. Just like my mother used to say! Thanks, Chris!
Wait...... who's Andy?
Killing with kindness dosent work at all
I was giving sooo much to my in laws but nothing helped
Gifts destroy their hearts
They became even worst
@he spoke style. What brand of shirt is that?
Our collection with Michael Andrews. Launching after Labor Day.
Hello Brian. Will do a Summer 2021 wardrobe capsule for sasual wear???
The problem is the haters hate behind your back. They criticize you to others behind your back. They have a team of one eye monsters who don't trust you.
Muchas gracias por tus buenos consejos me ayudan mucho HE SPOKE STYLE 💪👌👍
You're very welcome!
I always get comments about how well I dress. I even was asked why i always dress up. I told them thank you. I eventually told him when you have a professional job, I feel you should dress like a professional.
I wear a size 14 shoe and I can't tell you how many guys ask me where I get my shoes. Everyone one from laborers to professionals. The best compliment that i am proud of is when a gentleman walked by and said nice shoes. I had on Allen Edmond tan wingtips with blue replacement laces. Those places with get you some attention.
Yes, indeed!
1. Avoid. 2.Ignore. 3. Forget.
Nice. Thanks for chiming in, Colin.
Dressing up is probably a lot easier in the West. Here in Asia (Specifically here in the Philippines), people are more likely to judge you because your outfits are more well-put-together than theirs. For example, just last week, when I was travelling to visit a friend who was having a baby, someone just went up to me and told me that I looked like a retard because I was wearing a summer sport coat combination. It's always annoying when people judge you, let alone call you a retard.
That's not very nice at all.
You look AMAZING and thank you for sharing xo
Great Video, Bri 2 Fly!!. This video was on point and on time. It seems like when you are aspiring to go up, our so-called friends reveal their true colors through words and you discovered "Wow, I thought they supported me and my goals." I love the pointers you gave in this. My only suggestion is to re-title your video: "10 Ways to SHUT DOWN Haters...and the "SHADERS!" Hehe
It’s a crab pot mentality.
No matter hard hard you try to act as a hater, sorry Brain you failed!
I yam what I yam.
Luckily I don't get hate as often as I get compliments but it does happen occasionally. I have developed some answers since people tend to say the same things like "Why do you wear a suit and tie?" or "Why are you always so dressed up?" and I typically just say things like "Why don't you wear a suit? Why don't you dress up?"
It also seems that older people really like my style since I'm a teenager and I am keeping this tradition alive. I just dress the way I like and I'm not going to change that for anyone. Wear what you like y'all.
Keep it up, Christian!
Brian, when you mentioned jiu Jitsu. I remembered Martial Arts and world of UFC which bought me to Connor McGregor. He used to were suits and dress sharp. Oftentimes wearing bright bold outlandish colors. In an interview he said that it's all part of the mental warfare. He dresses up so everyone he faces agaisnt feels like they are facing a guy who has everything set in life, both in the cage and outside.
His level of dressing was so sharp off stage too that naturally it opened him a lot of opportunities. No one can deny the importance of dressing up and it goes well with your points. Now because of him every other UFC fighter is dressing up.
Indeed, Akshay. That's what it's all about.
While most people are either complementary or at least accepting of a man dressing well there are a few and often vocal naysayers.
A simple but polite "no" and then declining further engagement with those who ask negative questions about why you dress nicely usually suffices.
Thanks so much for chiming in!
Soberingly we are all truly alone. What that means about comments is yeah, it is really about the person making the comment, not the object of the comment. If someone calls another person ugly it means they are sensitive about their own appearance. When they hate on me dressing well I know it is them feeling insecure about their fashion, their style, their disposable income, etc. So it can hurt, but I feel their hurt too, which like you said can be an opportunity to connect. Awesome video. Thanks for the words and advice.
You’re very welcome. And thanks to you for the very thoughtful comment.
Happens at work all the time! I just don’t react
Good strategy!
Great content, well thought. It is true for dressing well, but can actually apply to many occasions where you are facing criticism overall. Well put, cher Brian. Thank you.
Yes, exactly. Thank you so much for the comment, Laurent. As always.
Muchas gracias por tus consejos!!
You're very welcome, Carlos. Thanks for the comment!
The key is being calm with confidence. As long as you are not hurting anyone, have the freedom to be what you are and what makes you happy.
Amen
These are all great ideas. My personal hit back strategy is, "I'm sure that one day you'll find a man that dresses just the way you like". I dress well for me. What other people think is incidental meaningless. Please keep the videos coming. They're great!
LOL. Thanks for the support.
Unexpected topic, but an excellent video once again. I appreciate the empathy and consideration of others' situations.
Sure thing! This channel is about you guys, not me!
Well said, sir! Also, I know this isn't a "look book" video, but I admire your look today.
Why, thank you! Look out for next week...two lookbooks coming up!
Gotta try this with people one the Internet with no chill
This is such a great and encouraging video! Really glad you made it into a video as well rather than writing since in this situation, I think it's better to hear this message rather than reading it. Now we can rewatch as needed lol...yea I'll be back most likely soon hahaha.
So glad to hear you enjoyed this one, Justin!
As an 18 year old, my aunt always criticised me for wearing tailored clothing as she wanted me to dress casually in jeans and t-shirts. But, I kept making my wardrobe more smart casual without having to retreat to jeans, and instead used elements like a suede jacket to add a casual sophistication to my look. Now, she barely makes a comment on my look, and if she does, it's usually a complement. Her criticism was valid and apart from her criticism, I absolutely don't have any "haters". My one and only friend is also interested in classic menswear, so he is very supportive of my style choices as we both follow a similar style (the style inspired by the legendary Brian Sacawa). As for strangers, I don't get any comments from them, although I get frequent stares whenever I go out being well dressed. I also don't like socializing a lot as I am a heavy introvert, and hence I have a very small social circle (my family and one friend), which reduces the chances of me having any "haters" drastically
P.S: Loved the intro!
Nice, Aziz! You know I always appreciate your thoughtful comments.
@@hespokestyle
And I always appreciate your replies. You still reply to my comments even though I am a bit of a late commenter.
Brian, off topic but where is the video for the last podcast episode and what happened to new episodes?
Video isn't going up. There was another issue with Justus's camera going out. New episode is on cutting room floor. I've just had too many other things on my plate to finish the edit.
I don't care if I'm feeling good and it is like that from elementary school.
That's awesome.
Thank you for the great insight provided in your video's. I am I new viewer and noticed you mentioned having lived in Baltimore. Is there a tailor you could recommend in Pikeville? Thanks!
You’re very welcome! Thanks for your support and hope you’ve subbed. I’ve had many requests for my tailor and I’ve spoken to him about the business but unfortunately he is not taking any new clients. I have used QG in the past but with mixed results and theirs turnaround was quite slow.
@@hespokestyle Thanks, I'll look into QG. Like you have said - word of mouth is the best way to find a good tailor. The search continues!
Muy buenas estrategias para lidiar. Lo veré muchas veces para aprender lo que expones. Muchas gracias.
Love your channel. Always have. Great video B!
Thanks so much, Brandon! Appreciate the support very much.
Great video, I definitely needed to hear this as my channel is getting that response from miserable people!
Great video Brian, thanks. About 2-3years ago I went to buy new pair of shoes and I really got into the weeds of it as far as quality, style, price, etc and the mix of them all and this led me on an incredible (life changing) journey and I made a dedication to myself to up my shoe game and the nice shoes (of course) warrant a better wardrobe.. lol.. At the start, I received many of the comments you mentioned and it is a blow to your psyche when friends & co-workers say those things.. yes. You need to put them in perspective and a couple years later here I am and people take it for granted that I always dress well.
Great video. If I can suggest something, it would be great if you gave examples on some of those points. Im not really sure what you mean by killing them with kindness for example. Do you mean complimenting their outfit or something else entirely? Anyway great vid as I said but some examples would have made it even better
With you all the way mate! Got your back. Love your content 👊
Thanks, as always, Christian.
The insecure people will be loud and try to bring you down if you dress stylishly. The secure, successful people will just quietly listen to what you have to say.
Yup. The question is do you want people to follow you or do you want people who work for you?
He Spoke Style So true!
Great and classy channel, salute from Kuwait
Thank you and hello!
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Great stuff Brian...looking good is about respecting others as much as ourselves in my opinion.