If You Find Yourself In A Bad Work Environment, You NEED To Do This! | Mel Robbins
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- Опубліковано 11 тра 2023
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THIS is how you can stop letting negative energy, especially in the workplace, bring you down.
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I left a toxic work environment. I took a huge pay cut but I cannot tell you how much my life has improved. Looking back, I’m glad I experienced this so I can move forward and appreciate my current situation. Back stabbing, dog eat dog, throw you under the bus, high stress, overtime, call ins, management against you, computer problems, you get it. No amount of money is worth that. Please know your life can change! It’s not worth your health and or mental wellbeing.
Was that a retail job? Sounds just like where I work. Feel like all I do is work and exist....
I miss retail because at least there were customers to talk to who were neutral parties. I have felt this type of toxic workplace most in giant corporate structures with micromanaging idiot managers who do more to disrupt work than encourage it
@@NoxCattus
I worked in hell last year and all the documentation was too much as my workload was already too high
I'd rather be homeless than where I was last year
Thank you for sharing this. Gives me hope. I just have to find the time & energy to job search in this economy. Any suggestions on where to Star or helped you find a new & better work environment is appreciated. 😊
I just resigned from a toxic, hostile workplace with a bully, micromanaging insecure man and no more will I accept this and I deserve better.
Amen 🙏🙏
Well done 😊
Good for you. Wishing you all the best
Congratulations!!
Same here! I was dealing with a controlling backstabbing black woman and I just quit without notice! Feels great!
Sadly, in some cases if you call out their behavior, you become the problem & it gets worse.
Immature brats are pandered to by management, & when management condone and dismiss such behaviour, it's over.
Best to gray rock them.
Indeed! Nowadays, Managers and HRs are buddies and if you raised a concern, you will be targeted which happened to me Shout out to my previous manager Kat! Great job in being the most toxic manager I've ever had!
When you call out a person’s behavior they will resent you. So, no, it won’t get better.
Toxic behaviour usually comes from the top in my experience
Definately calling out doesn't work I think it's better to just leave and let them all destroy each other. I know this from experience.
I’ve experienced so much disrespect at my job that I personally feel like why do I have to fix an issue they caused. I’m the newest person and I have to fix it??? Why
Managers will never admit they’re wrong.
I'm feeling this same way
Same!
Same. My boss went so far as to blame ME for the negative environment when several people have left because of HER. Yet, no one is correcting her bullshit
Same at 53
Well... I started complimenting my coworkers, and I was labeled fake 😂😂 I just gave up. I mean, you can't never win
Best thing I ever did was leave a toxic work environment
Period!
Good 4 u 👍 👌 🙆♂️
That is the best thing you can do, if you can
Yeah when I find them I leave, and hold out for the good ones. Simple as that.
The showering with niceness does not seem to work in my situation. This narcissist believes she should get the world, so i just end up catering to a selfish person constantly. Its exhausting.
"Your work environment does not define your worth or limit your potential. Take charge of your destiny and make a change. Remember, you have the power to create a fulfilling and positive work environment by taking the necessary steps to pursue your passions and surround yourself with supportive individuals. Don't settle for less than you deserve, and embrace the journey towards a work environment that brings out the best in you."
🎉yes! I just told this to my coworker. However, she is involved with negative people that instead of helping or as you say supportive, they add to the stress or instigate a more negative approach.
@@TheFlaco1978 I'd say that you did great by telling her something that could have helped her. But at the same time, especially being a personal growth UA-camr, I have learned that the best that you can do for someone is to give them your best advice. However, accepting your advice is completely their decision and no matter what you can never make someone do something, even if it is something that you clearly see is beneficial for them. You cannot make anyone do anything. So, you did your part and now the ball is in your coworker's court. Let her decide how she wants to deal with it, now that she knows that there is a better way too that you shared. ♥
I worked in a toxic environment for years with staff who were emotionally immature, very territorial over the simplest of tasks. Don't even want to start on management. HR even in the most obvious situations took notes but did nothing. They make sure the organization or department they cover doesn't look bad in the eyes of the company. If you complain then you become the target. Do your best to find a way out, transfer or leave. It's so unhealthy, emotionally draining and difficult to do your best work and grow trying to get along/work with people who've probably been acting like this for years. You're better off investing in yourself and your career rather than managing someone else's bad behaviors. Empowering yourself and listening to Mel's podcasts, understanding what I want from life/career helped me move away from toxic people and focus on what's really important.
So well said!
HR protects the company not the employee!!
I bought flowers for a grumpy receptionist on Friday the 13th and included a simple card, keeping it anonymous. She figured it out, and became my best ally at work, and gave me HUGE flowers on subsequent Fri 13th.
That's wonderful Diana! I had a coworker that was struggling in her personal life and her behavior at work changed. She just seemed irritated, lazier, snapped at people. I got a simple greeting card that said cheer up and told her how much I enjoyed working with her. It was too late, she had already quit, but she came up and hugged me and was crying tellng me how much that small gesture made her feel better. You obviously made a huge impact on your receptionist too! You can make someone's entire day, just by paying attention :)
P😊p9l9
4:29 HR exists to protect the company
Here what I do to avoid the toxic group messenger or the keyboard warriors in the workplace:
1.) Follow the company mission.
2.) Follow standards & expectations.
3.) Teach others to follow 1, and 2.
Everything else is just noise. And everything will eventually fall into place. The toxic people fall under their own karma eventually. 🎉
You promise?
Protect my energy my a.ss. Leaving and lawsuits are the only way. I've been traumatised including by current work environment.
One bad apple may not spoil the whole bunch....but a rotten apple...is a rotten apple. I refuse...to waste my life...in and among....low-end...mean-spirited individuals. I deserve better. So...onward I march. I shall prevail...
This!!! Couldn't agree more!
I'm really enjoying reading all the comments. It's encouraging
What is with all the awful work environments?? I've done part time work for over 20 years, to have 'girl time' in addition to my landscaping business, and I have finally given up. Most recently was in a swimwear shop- we had a record breaking snow/ice/cold event and when I called to say I wouldn't be in for my 4 hour shift the new manager told me I had to come in. I live farthest away (1 hour) but the girls who live in town didn't show either. This is complete opposite of how it was many years ago. It was bad enough that the managers have very little grasp of either English or French (Canada). I have another job at food place, where they are insisting on paying cash.... the days of the middle aged ladies working happily part time at nice little shops are long gone :(
I always say that, there’s absolutely no reason to be mean❤
❤
I work for 2 toxic bosses. No HR. 3 other employees including me. And found out yesterday they lied by omission to get me into the job. Im now in debt and have had to sell my car to stay in the job. My self confidence has gone. I'm job hunting like crazy to get out. Last night i wanted to leave this world. I havent slept. And now im getting ready to go to work. And have to paint a smile on my face. And get through the day.
😢
I hope your work days have gotten better. Keep your head up. 🙏🏾🤗
Just quit! If the job is making you suicidal than how much worse can it get?
No miserable job is worth your mental health.
Hopefully your doing fine now
Wow she is speaking truth about confidence
, failing, learning and growing.
Such good timing for me. Thank you Mel!
I have been bullied at work 5years
When you go to HR they make you out to be the problem.
Some days I wish I had a body cam on to prove what goes on out there
One thing that can help people is to remember that in people with ADHD, ASD and Giftedness, there are meltdowns and this is not child behaviour or a tantrum. It can happen when people are pushed too far and are overloaded on many levels. Being able to know the difference between emotional immaturity that can be displayed in neurotypical people and meltdowns (what happens under duress over extended time to neurodivergent people) helps everyone be in a better way of being because then you can understand the different needs and realities of people better and create positive places that can fit for differences in people.
THIS. Thank you for saying this! ❤
I’m neurodivergent myself and the only thing I’d like to add is I’m currently dealing with an emotional immature individual who has ADHD as well… It is not an excuse to treat people badly from lack of coping skills. This individual does not apologize genuinely when they’re called out. I feel for them in the sense of how an ADHD mind can feel, but I know for a fact that ALL emotions are valid, but how we choose to behave is our choice.
I've tried! It doesn't work in multicultural environment when a certain ethical group is mainly the power controller.
There is no HR where I work. The “Manager” seems cowtowed by this very rude aggressive person. Your shower with compliments to curmudgeons does work and thinking about my experiences doing this bring smiles to my face.
Yoga will change your life. It saved me during my divorce instead of spending money at a therapist. It is mind, body and spirit. Just go!! You will meet so many nice mind like people.
It saved me too from a stressful relationship! Its brilliant what yoga can do ❤
That's great to hear! I think it's something that appears "lame" to many people, mainly because we don't understand it and never tried it. There's so many simple things that can make all the difference, that we often overlook. I'll have to try it instead of being judgey about it. Thank you! :)
@@laurieclarkson9180 it doesn’t look like your doing much but omg the benefits mental and physical x
@@MyFrankieee It sounds like it's like meditation--in the way that people on the outside are like "Huh?" but when you try it, it feels amazing. I figured there's gotta be something great about these things because tons of people rave about it. Do you guys have any recommendations..perhaps you tube channels that teach yoga?? For those of us that don't have money to take a class.
@@laurieclarkson9180 yes Netflix free yoga classes
I had a bully at work and i called the HR. The HR called my manager, the bully and i for a meeting and they acussed me of awfull things. Nobody asked my bully a single thing. My manager started to yell at me and told me to just leave my job. It was the second time that i was leaving the same job.
don’t look back, keep your head high and take it as an opportunity to grow
That’s excellent, using three ways to shield yourself from others emotions and how to be able to keep your own internal state from becoming dysregulated.
Mel what the heck would I do without you!?!? Thank you for making it all simple and achievable
You are so right”Emotionally immature”You just described my boss.
I had a clinical director who was condensending, disrespectful, and inept. More than entitled,and rude he had no sense of site metrics or patient budgeting. As an acting office manager, a low paying title and pay as low as 1/4th his rate. Late or missing patient visits, went to HR, his supervisor, and still the behaviors continued. I finally got to the point that I no longer was able to speak with him. No longer trusted him to get my payroll completed or correct, let alone following up on patient and site priorities. I accepted an offer letter to start the following week. Toxic as it was, it certainly took a toll on my mental health the 2 months. I lost weight,sleep, and fell into depression. My time was up, and certainly no advancement with the job.
You dodged a bullet.as well as i did. You can not work with a psycho narcissist,or toxic hostile employees there are other options. Be true to you and respect yourself.
2024...i needed to hear this podcast. Thank you Mel, Dr. Raymond, guests and commenters.
I needed this wisdom!
Your Snow globe analogy is fantastic! ❄️ ❤️
Amazing ❤
Great analogy with the shaking dog.
❤ thank you for your positivity and contribution to society 🌎 united for change!
This is Gold
Thank you spot on
Nobody is coming😢... Girls are taught to depend on their boyfriend/husband. It is a hard pill to swallow when all your life you have been taught to depend on your parents, and now you hear...no one is coming...😮... I guess I am one of those late bloomers. It makes me scared to think I'm on my own and by the same token it empowers me, makes me giddy to know I can accomplish anything I put my mind on.💯💓 39:41
I know what you mean!! I think this concept is especially hard for people with wonderful, loving, supportive families to understand, because we always hep each other so we come to sort of expect it will always be that way. Then out of nowhere, everyone in the family is in a bad situation and they all need help, so they can't help you and you can't help them and it sucks. I'm a late bloomer in learning "No one is coming" too..but it really is wonderful advice and like you said, very empowering!
@@laurieclarkson9180 Yes, at first you feel left out in the cold, lonely, unworthy and maybe even unwanted but then you start realizing that it isn't so bad after all, and that God gave us girls a brain to put it to good use. It seems like coming out of La La land isn't so bad afterall. 😂 LOL💯💓
I left a toxic salon life, I was a stylist for 2 years at a salon that had an absolute worst owner ever. Who didn’t want to deal with their employees who were suffering from toxic management and toxic employees that weren’t getting dealt with or fired.
They lost so many good stylists, like myself. They over worked their stylists like crazy, everybody was dying from the hours and the work work work work work life….over worked. And top of that; the client were getting nasty because they were upset about wait times and such. And nothing was done when a client would threaten or yell or disrespect a stylist. There was nothing ever done.
So I left. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I stopped being a stylist because of that salon.
Now I’m at a salon as a CCC. (Receptionist).
I work with a couple stylists that are so fuckng rude. I try so hard to just ignore it and move on with my day. I really do.
I got into a big argument with a stylist that I had a problem with the first week there.
She has such a harsh demeanor, rude attitude and overly “confident”.
I did this exact method of yours, breath and take a second.
She was ready for battle, and I was trying to keep the situation calm and collected.
Idk why I attract people like this. Idk why I take it personal. People like her, she’s just out for battle with anyone because she is “always right, her way or not.”
How else can I stay calm and keep my stress level, my anxiety level down.
What else more can I do😕
I LOVE "the dog shaking" idea of yours. I will remember that. I don't want anyone feeling that from me. That's for sure.
Same!
How do you deal with fake co workers/ bosses? They feel that they can be mean to you. But you have to respect them because of their position.
This is a good question! I would like to know this answer as well!
Thanks for all this knowledgeable input. This is gonna be useful tools for me. That I can keep in my back pocket incase. I have to use them. Thank you.
Great video n good therapy. Thank you Mel
Leave and don't look back
But I don't have a another source of income.. I wish to walk out that easy.
My HR and my manager used to work together and are friends. It's time it get out but I have bills to pay u til I Fi d a new job. Thank you for you advise Mel.
❤ The comment about managers really really got me right from the beginning. There was a girl in a recovery group where I went after a bad relationship. This girl happened to be a manager at a store like Savers. She was so bossy over everybody and harass me to the point that after going to the group for over a year, I decided not to be there any more. "Jen" was so darn bossy that I left that group and never returned. Some people that are managers are just toxic, and I honestly worried for the employees under her watch. May God have mercy on their souls. How ironic that a recovery group for survivors of abuse could turn into a toxic environment where people end up subjected to even more abuse, needing recovery from the abuse that they were subjected to in their recovery group. 😂
Also because you're with them more than anyone else. 0:46
8-9 hours per day, 40+ hours per week. It's heavy.
Omg I worked hotels for years!! We had angry crazy guests get upset over the stupidest, smallest things. The entitlement of people is unreal! Front desk doesn’t get paid enough. People have forgotten how to be kind.
Love your videos new subbie here❤
Its crazy competitive in my environment at work.
Sadly the pay a compliment strategy didn’t work in my current work situation. For 10 months I would regularly (and genuinely) compliment my manager on her work or her approach to a project, etc. and she just went and stabbed me in the back recently, when she could have taken a more supportive approach. And she wasn’t even a curmudgeon type. I now realize she’s prob more a covert narcissist type. Good to know as I make my way out the door…Glad that approach has worked out for you though, Mel.
I always visualize when someone’s exploding their anger or their anxiety all over me that they’re trying to hand me a hot potato, or they’re playing dodgeball with me lol and I just don’t pick it up
Hello. Love this episode. Do you have any episodes with no cursing ?
You are watching UA-cam….. don’t expect everyone to obey some unofficial rule against cursing…. Go read a book or watch Sesame Street
@@Katiekay. Lol
@@Katiekay.omg 😂
Did you think through your comment? I mean REALLY? You are somewhere in the message Mel's sharing. Bless you.🙏🏽
I am a manager everything u r talking about I deal with my with employees,soon as I return the energy they are the victim. LETS TALK ABOUT THAT WHEN ITS THE EMPLOYEES
I survived a toxic hostile work environment. I research the company. Corruption and I think there is money launding. To my ex employer, One way or another I'm going to get you I'll get you I'll get you
What would the Rock do? He would smell what’s cookin! 🤣
I do feel stuck because I don't have many options. I'm navigating this world with an 8th grade education. I may have started, but I never finished 9th grade. I was one of the "gifted" kids that fell through the cracks because of my very neglectful home life. There are many other factors, but that's for a different place than a UA-cam comment section. I did go on to get my GED, and through being a very young mother and just trying to survive, I didn't go to college. I didn't continue with school. I've been terrified I'm going to fail at being a student again.
I've managed to find myself in a job that technically pays well, but, my god, the toxicity. People have asked why would I stay so long. Well, I'm single and I have bills to pay. I would be doing great if I was in a dual income household. I live within my means and with the state of housing I really can't get much cheaper than what I'm paying now, even though it's about half of my monthly income. (Housing is such an incredible issue right, but again that's a different but related topic ) I'm not in a place to take a pay cut. As someone who has worked in this trade for almost 15 years, I'm actually above the local average pay scale (thanks to our union.) My experience is this niche. It doesn't translate well to many other fields.
I can work around many different types of challenging people, but when you have a coworker is so toxic and ready to sabotage you to the point of fabricated stories, what do you do? I don't want to be or feel powerless, but I'm really not sure what options i realistically have. I can't "just find another job." I'm not over stating that any job I might remotely be qualified for is a pay cut. I'm not in a place where I can survive a pay cut. (Please save the rebudgeting advice. I don't have a car payment, I don't have cable, I don't eat out, I don't even drink coffee.)
What does one do in this situation?
Hi stranger. It sounds like you might be better suited for starting an online business, even as something on the side. If you do it smart and gradually you can build it alongside work. Especially now with the ai boom. I can relate to quite a bit of what you’re going through. It sounds like you need a strategic plan forward. A few years back I started a business teaching music lessons and it’s turned out well bc I’m leveraging my strengths. I also saved up and hired a marketing coach who helped get my business seen on google and made my money back the first week, but I had to take a leap of faith. There may be a lot more options than you think, the first thing you said, that you don’t have many options, sounds like a limiting belief. I believe in you and that you can make your situation improve. Maybe you could add in a habit of journaling 30 min a week- could be 10 min here and there. Meditating on “What are some possible future directions my life could take that would be really great?” Or “what if it’s not as hard as I think, what would that look like?” If you “were” gifted that means you ARE gifted! ❤ Keep your head up! Our limited beliefs are often only limited to several few repeating negative stories, but if you believe anything is possible, the possibilities of success for you are limitless! I wish you all the best out here, and be open to expecting the unexpected! 🫶
@@Embers167 Thank you so much for your compassion, kind works and encouragement. I really appreciate you sharing this.
I feel like I'm looking at the edge of moving my life in a new direction, but feeling like I don't know where I should place my first steps. (Sidenote: my mind visualizes this as Indiana Jones trying to figure out where to step while in the cavern of the Last Crusade. One small step, disaster. But if he pays attention and moves forward with intention, a great adventure.) I guess I could further build on this when Indiana also had to take a step of faith.
You can't get to where you want to go unless you take that step.
I certainly have hopes and dreams and ideas floating in my head and I will try to focus on making steps. I appreciate you talking your time to offer your experience and words to nudge me, a stranger, with encouragement.
Truly, thank you.
@@melissamurray4815 i believe in your. Second stream of income, even 3rd. Slowly start a side hussle on the side. You can do it. Take courses in it. Oh..and not sure if you ever heard this quote from Mark Twain " Do not let school interfere with your education"
A lot of managers know who the butt kissers, gossipers, and toxic people are and they know who the good workers are. They don't advertise it, but they know. Perhaps there is someone at work you can talk to before you explode on the coworker one day. Could you change your schedule to avoid the person? Like work a different shift or day? Just remember: #1--The coworker can't take your energy unless you give it to them. #2--Most people care about themselves and their own drama. The toxic coworkers reveal themselves to everyone.
If you can’t change your situation right now, at least keep good records. Records records records. Yes it’s exhausting but cover your butt is the best you can do while sustaining. 🙏🏻
How to tackle the coworkwr targeting you always through emails and throwing hostile emails and CC your managers
I dont want to.lie to a toxic person that i like her😊
I work in a rehabilitation nursing home center and I’m in longterm care well I had a new patient and my patient said that he did not get supper so I went up to the nurse station and ask the nurse about the new patient supper why he did not get it and the nurse told me to leave her alone and that I needed to go ask someone else and thin shoe her hand torwards me and tells me walk away I thought that was pritty wrong
What about small businesses who don't have HR? 😮💨
HR in many cases is just not your friend. The HR manager is probably friends with all the top management etc.
Red flag! I just left a medium business with with the HR just the wife of the manager and just collected a paycheck. Never saw her in person except for staff events and she didnt even show up to my exit interview. Why should she right?
What if the same director and owner is the person to be honest with is also H.r.? What if there is no one else also how do you protect yourself and your position?
Oh i am so like you Mel, also want to be the last one in the plane, with my coffee, running...😂
4-7-8 breath, see Dr. Andrew Weil
Where I am living right now
The law of reciprocity gives me strange feelings, as there is someone in my work environment constantly feeding managers who are abusing their power over employees. This person, who melts the ice with them, visibly improves their own relationship, yet the working environment becomes even more toxic. so what should be done with such unhealthy outcome?
Hi 💎👸Mel👸💎. I can relate. 🙌🙌🙌⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🥇🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆💎💎💎💎💎💯💓💖I believe I have great energy but I do have my weak moments, like with a troll that's been pestering me for many years now, and someone replied to a comment I left and I automatically thought it may be that troll. I know I was wrong in thinking this way but I was also triggered by the fact that two nights before his reply I had LOST all of my photos for the last 8 years of my life. So I wasn't in my best mood, to say the least. I WISH I would have recalled your: 5,4,3,2,1 technique then.🙏😊🤭💯💓
I am so sorry you lost the pictures. Remember, those memories are still in your heart and that is what matter the most
Everyone is fucked up some just hide it better.
Hr, isnt going to help you at factories they only care about the best interest of the managers and leads for your boss, people.
I just spoke to my Boss.. I am so embarrassed by mentioning things. I feel stupid.
Crap.just leave move on/
If you are working in the HR professional, it's essential to have the authority to effectively carry out HR functions within the organization. If senior management hasn't provided you with the necessary empowerment to operate within HR grounds, it's crucial to address this issue.? Should you be the one to raise this?
My hometown is HORRIBLE
And why are you sharing this?
THis is too LoNg
HR work for the company they are the most toxic ones
My manager is so abusive .My problem is her manager ,who I would go to is also abusive so there is a line of them .Than what?
Move up the ladder so you dont have to report them anymore. Reporting to their boss above them may help. Or just leave. Start looking for new work in any case.
Not every boss is awful. We dont have to tolerate the bad ones that deserve to fail.
Waiting for the mrs to get back to work. So I find better. Even if it is a downgrade. Ugh...
I had a new lesbian manager who was nir to my face and me being a vert attractive female she felt threatened she,did everything so I left my job she got away with it what do you tell a new job when you interview??
HR protects the company not you. When you are a minority and dealing with bias from everyone your in trouble
ENCOURAGE myself to take HEALTHY RISK, for Jesus Christ Glory.
Curmudgeon lol 😂
WRONG! As a manager: Do not keep calling people out on petty things like a brief, to the point email. This is what I hate about all female work places. I’m a direct person and tired of being made to feel like I’m a negative or rude person. It’s exhausting. News for everyone: curmudgeon’s are the way they are because they’ve gotten too much negative feedback after not being appreciated. They are usually high performers and believe that people’s hard work should be recognized and results should be rewarded, not butt kissing. How do you not take a direct email personally? - take time to understand a person’s personality and stop taking everything so personally. I can’t give a person a better answer.
WRONG!!!!: Being a good manager is not just about metrics and goals. Your employees are human beings, not robots. You should learn more about the team that you are charged with managing and the different personalities that make up the group. How do they prefer to communicate, and how do they like to be managed? Sure there are individuals who prefer direct and to the point emails, but there are also others with whom taking 1 or 2 seconds to type a simple "thank you" can change the tone of your email. Managers need to learn how to deal with people with different personalities and try to bring out the best in them individually. It's your job to manage them, not dictate to them.
And this does NOT apply only to workplaces where the majority are females. Saying so is generalizing woman as unnecessarily oversensitive and incapable of doing their jobs despite themselves because they are irrationally emotional.So not true, I've seen men act just as emotional because they feel like they are not being respected or shown deference for nothing other than being male.
YES🎉 @@jlee6784THANK YOU!!
The first one sounds like my Boss with her rude e-mail responses. I can't go to Hr she's the Hr
Go to HR...this woman doesn't know jack about jack.
Mention CNN I lose all interest
I need your strength. Thank you. The first kind of jerk is mentally ill and realising this helps me to give them space enough not to take their stress on. I love your skills on dealing with the second kind. I find it so scary dealing with people who often turn out to be aggressive, particularly if I try to address it. People are animals and if you show weakness they will attack. Never ask someone to respect you. Maintain the high ground by respecting them. If you don't want a fight, don't fight. If you don't want to be chased, don't run. If you want to be loved, LOVE. I WANT TO BE LOVED. Thanks for the breathing technique, I will practise it all day long next work day. My snow globe is full of magic and swirls around me. I love snow globes. Snow globes are beautiful! But yes, some people like shit storms and that is their problem. 5 4 3 2 1! I'm going to love my abusive boss, I'm going to love my abusive customers. I am loveable by being loving. I do not deserve love so I am not disappointed when they don't love me back, but I WILL LOVE WITH JOY AND INTEGRITY. I LOVE MYSELF and I WILL LOVE OTHERS! I don't need heartbreak to be a better person.
wow nice video for your youtube channel
Hi! I'm having a terrible time at work woth one girl..I have been a dental hygienist at this office for 29 years , no problems..this girl comes to the office 5 yes ago...I snapped at her one time , I apologized to her 2 times. She has held a grudge for 5 yrs against me, doesn't look at me, doesn't help me out at all. Walks by me , no good morning. I still say gm to her ,she barely can open her mouth to say anything amd never looks at me....when she came , she always one upped me on everything I said.. I feel she's very jealous of me ,competitive. I have complimented her, asked abt her kids, no reciprocating at all...I have a boss who does nothing abt her attitude..when I call her out on her behavior, she slams her phone down,walks away and slams the cupboards amd it makes my life worse ...we don't have hr and the boss doesn't seem yo give a shit...plz help...I come with a positive attitude but it's so hard ...plz help ..I had a melt down yesterday at work to the boss
Amy Schilling,
I hope Mel has some more answers for you. Personally, I would try ignoring her. Pretend she doesn't exist! Like a child, when they get no reaction, they stop acting up. When she acts more normally, start with a small compliment here & there. Offer her a doughnut, water or coffee. I hope this works for you. Be sure to use the breathing technique Mel described. It does help release cortisol and calm your nerves. Stay calm & carry on... Namaste 🙏
Leave if you can.
Or. Maybe check in to see why she is particularly triggering to you. I’ve experienced this too. Sometimes you’ll never know why people act that way. If you’ve truly tried, and self reflected and still nothing is getting better you owe it to yourself to find an environment where you feel valued. But 5 yrs tells me it doesn’t look like she’s gonna change ? It probably has nothing to do with you. For some people myself included, I need camaraderie in order to thrive. That sounds like a valid reason to look for work elsewhere
I like the advice given from others. She seems to like your attention, because then she has a chance, once again, to retaliate for whatever you did years ago. She gets kicks out of it. I'd ignore her too. I know that's impossible sometimes. Working with people you adore really does change your entire experience so I like KK's idea too..to move on if this woman is so intolerable and it looks like she's not going anywhere. If you let her get to you, she wins. She's probably hoping you'll snap and quit. Don't give her the satisfaction. Just prove yourself to be the more valuable employee.
No Snapping!! You were unprofessional.