Hearing VOICES?! COMMUNICATING With ALTERS Part 2: INTERNAL |Dissociative Identity Disorder REUPLOAD
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- Опубліковано 30 чер 2024
- THIS VIDEO IS A RE-UPLOAD OF AN ORIGINAL VIDEO FIRST POSTED TO / dissociadid ON: 13th October 2019
THIS VIDEO WAS CREATED SOLELY BY US WITH NO OUTSIDE INPUT. WE ARE THE SOLE CREATORS AND THE SOLE COPYRIGHT HOLDER OF THIS VIDEO AND ITS CONTENT. THIS FACT IS NOT DISPUTED.
"SEE PART 1 HERE: • COMMUNICATING With ALT...
Part 2 of our series on communicating with Alters in a DID or OSDD System! This video focuses on internal methods of communicating when you have Dissociative Identity Disorder
Filmed and edited by Chloe BEFORE integrating.
!!Disclaimer:!! we were taught the phrase used in this video "Chinese Whispers" in school by our teachers at a young age (yes, our teachers!) and therefore never thought about any problematic associations that may arise from this term. We apologise for our insensitivity on this topic and want to thank the commenters who have brought it to our attention. We now know that Americans use the phrase "Telephone" for the same game, and going forward we have adopted this term instead."
DISSOCIADID LINKS:
/ dissociadid
/ dissociadid
www.DissociaDID.com
SUPPORT OUR SYSTEM:
www.ko-fi.com/DissociaDID
/ kyaandco
(Our Patreon is for our art - it's not connected to or part of DissociaDID.)
OTHER PLACES OUR SYSTEM IS ACTIVE (these accounts are not used as part of the DissociaDID project and do not represent DissociaDID. They are not designed for education, they are for personal use by the System, but you are welcome to hang out with us if you’d like to.)
/ kyaandco
/ kyaandco
MERCH & ART:
www.teespring.com/stores/Diss...
PO BOX:
CLOSED
Channel and Videos Disclaimer (written 29/12/2021 by Chloe Wilkinson):
We are not Mental Health Professionals. These videos were made from what we believed to be accurate at the time of their creation, from sources made accessible to us and our own personal experiences. New or updated information may have become available since these videos were made that we may not be aware of, or were not aware of at the time of making the content. We try our best to keep up to date with accurate information, but we are not researchers, psychologists or scientists, just mentally ill people trying to spread awareness and validation as best we can. Please do not use our videos as your only source of information or as a replacement for professional help.
Intro/Outro music from Non Copyright Sounds
Krys Talk & Cole Sipe - Way Back Home (NCS Release)
• Krys Talk & Cole Sipe ...
#DissociaDID #dissociativeidentitydisorder #mentalhealth
It would be really interesting to see a video on how the role of Primary Protector has changed, if at all, since Kyle integrated to become Kya. :) Much love to the DisocciaDID system and hope you all are doing well!
ooh i agree with this!
Yes please 😍
Hi! I just found out the DissociaDID reuploaded her videos. I just want to know what happened to Kyle?
@@fuyuchi698 He integrated with Nin to become Kya :)
For us, hearing the other alters sounds like a passing thought and then you realize someone said something and you say something back. If that makes sense. Or if we’re having a face to face conversation with someone who knows about our DID, and we are talking about a certain alter, sometimes they’ll say something and we’ll respond out loud.
Our host is just now learning she was told since she was 17 she has schizophrenic tendencies because of the voices she heard thank you for helping I’m her protector sam
Chloe is so professional and sweet. What does it feel like to see her again after all these years?
it's not Chloe anymore, she integrated
@@isotonicc Perhaps they meant how does the system feel about seeing and hearing the former host?
@@isotonicc yeah I think they were just asking how it is to see her again
@@isotonicc Chloe made this video before integrating
@@kimreni no she's literally gone forever, chloe isn't there anymore, there's Nin or someone else I'm not sure if it happened again or if Nin's still there
I’m so happy y’all are able to start reuploading
I used to get psychosis and DID mixed up and at one point wasn’t sure what I had. Now I’m diagnosed with bipolar 2 with psychotic features. So it’s nice to hear about how DID voices interact differently than auditory hallucinations. The voices I heard never said I want pizza for dinner or can you buy me that hat. They usually made random comments sometimes nice sometimes terrible.
I've actually experienced BOTH and was able to communicate that with my therapist when I was diagnosed.
I have an inner monologue which I recognize as my own voice. Though I remember a time when I didn't have an inner monologue and would just speak everything I was thinking out loud. I'm not sure if that actually happened or not cause that was at an age where I technically didn't exist yet and all my memories from that time period are kind of fuzzy like a dream rather than something that actually happened.
Some times I hear voices that I recognize are in my own head but I don't recognize as my voice. Those are co-conscious alters speaking. It use to scare the crap out of me before I was diagnosed. Not so much that I was afraid of them, more so that I was afraid of what would happen to me if people found out. Movies and TV shows really need to update how they portray both people with DID and how they're treated by professionals because it scares people away from seeking help when they see asylums in the media. There was a time period where they really were like that but times have changed and the media is still portraying some outdated methods that really aren't used anymore.
Occasionally I'll have auditory hallucinations that I don't even recognize as being inside my own head. They sound like they're coming from external sources. I typically recognize the voices as people I know but I'll hear them even when those people aren't around me because I have paranoia that people are talking about me behind my back. I don't typically hear those voices when the person is actually right in front of me, it's only when I'm alone and logically I know I shouldn't be able to hear them talking because they aren't there but I still hear people talking about me saying things they would never say to my face. These voices aren't alters but are just manifestations of my own fears about how other people perceive me.
Outside of professional therapy I find a lot of people... while they understand what an inner monologue is because most people have that, they don't understand hearing voices or that there's actually 2 different experiences of hearing internal voices that aren't your own or external voices that are neither yours or anyone else's.
BTW I also occasionally have visual hallucinations, typically in crowds I constantly feel like everyone is staring at me when they're more likely just minding their own business. Again that's a part of my paranoia.
Hey! I'm really sorry if I come off as ignorant. I don't know the specific stuff about the different psychological conditions. I'm just trying to learn more about the human brain.
I wanted to ask what's the difference between what you're experiencing and paranoid schizophrenia?
I've heard that schizophrenic individuals also have auditory or visual or tactile hallucinations too
@@RialVestro I relate a lot to the external voices beng linked to paranoia. The brain is really interesting honestly in how we can extinguish inner and outer voices. The stigma surrounding hallucinating and having DID is still really bad. Hopefully we can change how the media portrays mental illness in films. Just need to keep educating others about mental illness.
@@mehh9364 You’re totally good it’s difficult to understand. I was first diagnosed as schizoaffective disorder which is a combination of bipolar 1 and schizophrenia. My diagnosis changed as I got better with therapy and medication. Bipolar 2 with psychotic features means that under too much stess when I hit depression/ hypomania it can cause hallucinations as a symptom. In schizophrenia/ schizoaffective disorder hallucinations are more common and triggered more often. This is how my psychiatrist explained it to me and it makes more sense since I’m not hallucinating as much and it’s more rare. Psychosis as a symptom gets misdiagnosed a lot.
@RialVestro I experience exactly the same!! But I'm gonna get diagnosed soon (I hope) so I'll know what it is :)
I've been talking about the possibility of me having DID with my psychiatrist and psychiatrist nurses but they straight up told me I wasn't traumatized enough. I was also told that there's no way I'd have DID, I know too much about it and that I'm way too young (and I never got tested for it or anything, despite my pleads to do so). All the way until I was 17, I remembered all of my trauma but now I remember nothing. I do dissociate. I've been struggling with these symptoms for 2+ years now, and I'm turning 21. Last year, the dissociation and amnesia got so bad I had to drop out of school.
The whole situation got a kick back in 2019. I had a boyfriend at the time and... he did a bad thing for me. It was until March or May of 2020 when I suddenly had this memory of this bad thing happening and I got an instant panic attack. I had no idea it happened. Since then, I dissociated every time my boyfriend was close to me. I was scared 24/7. After only a week of living together, I had to kick him out. My mental health couldn't handle it anymore. Since then, I started to hear voices.
There was a moment in 2020-2021 where I would hear voices once a week. I do have visual hallucinations on rare occasions but never auditory. And why I think those voices were not hallucinations is because I felt like I was eavesdropping. The first time I ever heard the voices, I heard a woman and a man talk. Now I can clearly look back and say "Oh, that's Sandra and that's Jack". Then a while later, I heard a nasal male voice saying "Well hello, hello, hello. Oh hi Wanda!" and I can now tell it was Eddie. Then I heard a woman (Claudia) say "Oh no, what do we do now?". And she was talking with Eddie and Mina.
Personally, I feel like all these things point to me possibly having DID. Having alters, hearing voices, SO MUCH AMNESIA (I only remember like... 5-10% of my life and it hurts so much), dissociation, feeling emotions that are not mine, losing time sometimes, feeling blended a lot... And it's so hard because I want and need to know what's going on but I'm not getting the help I need because "I'm way too young". No matter how many times I ask my professionals for testing, they keep talking until I forget to mention it again. Or they tell me there's no need for that.
Yeah, Finland's healthcare system is the best but mental healthcare SUCKS. IT'S AWFUL.
Ya OK now?
@@karthikbala7085 Not really. I honestly wish I was
Definitely feels like DID is a possibility here. I'm so happy y'all are beginning to sort things out and figure it all out. Take it slow. We only found out about a year ago and it's been insanely hard. Give it time and let everything flow naturally! You got this.
@@wowitslena Thank you. It seems like things really quiet down and get difficult when I'm really stressed. But we're holding on ❤️
What if the system had a book where an alter can write notes to a specific person? Like everyone gets a section of the book where they can go check for messages once they front. Flip to the alters’ section that you want to write a note to, sign your name, and when they front, they check their section for left messages. It’s elaborate I know 😂
This is mentioned in the first video about external communication.
My ex’s system had a thing like this! They would write notes to each other in this little notebook whenever they had trouble reaching each other
Don't mind me. Just rewatching because I love Chloe's voice and accent.
Buddy system sounds like a good idea. I'm getting random voices ( been diagnosed) but yet to have great communication.
Sending you all the support and good vibes for your journey!! You've got this 💪
@@ciara4087 Thank you!!
I really feel what you said about not having realised that the voices you hear are unusual.
If you grow up with it and you don't remember it different, you don't really think anything by it, even if sometimes you hear something that you don't even agree with. And it's not really like you can explain your thoughts or understand how someone else's thoughts work, because it's not really something that is clear cut even for people without any pychiatric conditions.
I mean, pretty much everyone thinks to themselves, and i feel like it's not that far fetched to think that what you're hearing is just your inner thoughts. I have since found out that some people's inner thoughts are like a monologue or a stream of like, words? And for some people their thoughts aren't "fleshed out" in words at all.
Sometimes it's very difficult to know what is "just" your thoughts, especially when you hear about people weighing pro and contra about something in their mind or something like that, which is something I always used to justify to myself hearing different opinions or arguments.
It may sound silly to say "I didn't realise hearing voices in my head is unusual" but is it really that silly to assume that what you're hearing is your own thinking? I also feel like this often starts at an age where most kids don't really know much about mental health or disorders or anything like that, and they have no frame of reference so most children assume that their own experiences are the norm, and it takes a while to realise that other people experience the world much differently.
DID especially is kind of born from the need to protect your mind from something, and if you immediately realised that you have unusual voices in your head, it wouldn't really work? is that just me?
I am still struggling sometimes with distinguishing thoughts from someone else saying something inside.
I have a unique role I haven't seen in other systems. I'm not a fully developed person. I don't have a favorite color or food or really any opinions. I also have no memories of my own, but am able to access most memories. I am a filter that helps mesh the alters so I can be one cohesive person and they can switch without too much outer interruption. Therefore, when I view my inner world I only see a river with a bridge. I can tell there's more on the other side of the bridge but I cannot cross it. There are memories of a time before I existed and there was a lot of fighting for the front between 2 alters.
Here to support ya'll with the reuploads!
I get voices, I've been told it's part of my anxiety. There's baby she's a voice in my head but also part of my personality. There is also Suzy she just talks to me when I'm really scared and anxious. There are others but they seem to change and are there if I'm having a panic attack. One of the psychiatrists I spoke to wrote a letter to my doctor and sent a copy to me. He said that baby is just in my imagination. That upset me because she is me, she's part of my personality. There are times that I feel like I am her. Not in the same way you do I don't have DID. I'm aware that I'm being her. I just feel different to the usual me. More child like but I'm aware of the change in myself. It's hard to describe
i can relate to this, maybe you should look into age regression
Check out Internal Family Systems therapy, talks about that we all have 'parts' of us that aren't fully formed alters but can be very distinct inside our heads. I have my 6/8/12/15 year old selves in ny head and they feel quite distinct from my core self sometimes. Just because we didn't form DID or OSDD doesn't mean we don't have alter-like experiences. It's C-PTSD for me which causes these experiences because my mind got 'stuck' at the times of trauma in formative years
Sounds like osdd
Look into OSDD (other specified dissociative disorder) I had a similar experience and was just recently diagnosed. OSDD is essentially a dissociative disorder where you have DID symptoms however you do not meet the complete full criteria of having DID. Do not get me wrong, people can absolutely have alters, systems, everything that someone has with DID. It's just they may not necessarily have every single symptom or component of DID. There are some types of OSDD, where for instance you have very formed alters with very distinct personalities, however, you have no amnesia between switching (But the amnesia of the traumatic event that formed the disorder is still unknown to the host). Also other subtypes where your system is made up of mostly fragments or lesser defined personalities (Not that they are any less valid) But they may just not be fully rounded out as much of a personality as you might expect from someone with DID. Every single person's experience is different and I do not mean to take away from that but typically DID has a strict criteria as to whether or not you have specifically dissociative identity disorder. With OSDD, you can have dissociative disorders symptoms that one with DID would have, It's just it does not meet the specific criteria for DID. Notice how broad the term is, other specified dissociative disorder, The name itself represents how hard it is to define the spectrum of those who experience symptoms that those with DID have but, not necessarily have ALL of the symptoms and they literally had to sum it up into just a word of other specified. Meaning you can have DID symptoms and not have DID. It could be categorized as OSDD. You'd be surprised of the spectrum that people experience things who have OSDD. If you have a regular doctor or a regular therapist that you are comfortable with maybe bring up the idea, hopefully it's not the previous doctor that you had as it seems he is just pushing down the symptoms which is a major red flag. A lot of people will run into therapist or doctors who tell their patients to push down the "delusion" they are experiencing, while this may be helpful for somebody with a different diagnosis, If you are exhibiting OSDD or DID symptoms then that's the last thing you want to do because you are not going to be able to connect with any potential alters, or fragments and that's very damaging and just pushes you further back in your journey to recovery and stability. Of course I do not know your situation specifically, nor am I a doctor, but just going off of what you said, And how I've experienced my recent diagnosis of OSDD, potentially maybe it's something you should look into or talk to a more trusted doctor or therapist about. I hope you are able to find the right people to support you in whatever diagnosis you may have or may not have!
@Olivia M Thankyou I'll look into it.
i know this video is 2 years old but i still wanna compliment y'all on the makeup cuz WOW
We love you DissociaDID! We are here to support you!
So happy to see your videos again. Like visiting an old friend you bring comfort
I mean this in all respect but it’s so incredibly interesting that you can just talk others in your head and how the mind can create a whole different personality. It seems very reassuring, I hope more research is done so we can fully understand
INNER WORLD?? that's so wild. That explains why alters say "I've been told I look like x" I kinda assumed they existed as bodiless thoughts
So glad you managed to get your videos back uploaded. You've all really helped me and mine create a better dynamic with each other and a more cohesive harmony in ourselves.
It makes me so happy to see this videos again, they helped me a lot on my own journey understanding my own system and how to work together. Thankfully, we all have a great teamwork now.
I have officially rewatched every single video out of all the ones you have up and it only took me 2 days to watch over 40 of your videos your system was actually found around the same time I discovered the fact that i had did and i would not of realized i had it when i did if it hadn’t been for your system I didn’t even know what it was i had never heard of did until i seen your guys channel and it helped me so much because i did a ton more research realized i had all the symptoms from amnesia to voices to dissociation etc and tried reaching out through notes and it took a long time but one day a alter reached out to me in the headspace now i have known about my DID for 2 years and been diagnosed for about half a year and i owe it entirely to your guys system thank you so incredibly much the past few months we have finally gathered the courage to tell one of our friends and have used your videos to educate them so thank you truly from everybody in our system. -Leo
Our system is divided into multiple sidesystems and we have one person who's responsible for acting as a "diplomat" and carrying messages across the boundary, because we can't communicate directly with the other side (they do seem to be much more aware of us than we are of them, probably why the diplomat is from our side instead of theirs).
Always here to like re-uploads! ^^
We used to think we couldn't have DID because we didn't have amnesia while switching between alters. Then we realized that that's because we leave little sticky notes in the front for the next alter so they know what's going on.
And sometimes no note is left and it's like in inception when you realize you don't remember how you got there.
We admire you a lots. We are making activism in Italian, Spanish and English. GO DISSOCIADID GO!!!!
Keep doing what you’re doing. What ever the issues are in the background there is always a loophole! Love this channel and hope that prick leaves you alone
Yay another one ! Lots of love and welcome back ❤️
I think it would be very interesting to see a video about learning/studying with DID. Specifically because of certain alters holding certain information. Is it difficulty to designate someone as the one who does the school work etc.?
I can't speak for people with DID ( because I have osdd-1b ) However, we usually just have the host do school. If we can't switch and we don't know how to do the work it can be quite difficult. Since the host is the one front most often, she ends up doing most of the school and therefore knows it better than most of us.
@@michelebella4507 thanks for sharing!
These tips were very interesting. I’ll have to share them with one of my good friends who has DID to see if any of these tips are helpful for them and their system as well. 🙂 Thank you for the informative video! A lot of love to you all, DissociaDID!
I just realised you have SO much eyelid space, i was looking at your makeup and where your eyeshadow ends its where my brows are lol but it must be Fun to have a lot of space to work with!
Im so happy you all are back ❤️
The part about how learning hearing voices was not normal was the first thing that made me suddenly learn that I may have DiD too
I have a question. When you’re being pulled back or another alter is coming to the front, are you in the meantime in the inner world or is it more like being unconscious since you have the most amnesia? This question is more directed to Chloe or the host at the moment, but I appreciate any answer.
idk where I read this (somewhere on Twitter I guess because I ended up meeting many systems there) but it depends on the systems, they all go to their inner world, but some don't remember being pushed back to the inner world while other do in some occasions.
For the most part for me, I tend to be pulled back into my skull kinda like when you dissociate and stay near the front while others are front. Other times it's just lights out and I don't remember anything.
As the host of a DID system it for me is like being unconscious and when i front again or in a sense “wake up” i sometimes have no memory of what went on when the other was fronting and other times have some idea of what happened but not much ive only ever went to the innerworld once. However for pretty much everyone else in our system they normally go to the innerworld I really hope this was helpful
@@flamewolf8007 Hey! I have a question and couldn't find an answer on this channel or on the internet really. So let's say an alter or the Host learnt a skill or some knowledge like a language or maths or amy kind of school stuff. Do those informations become available for all the alters? Let's say a person with did is going to school and switches at school, from host to lets say a protector. If that protector learns everything in class, would the host be able to reach thay knowledge? Or the other way around? I hope I could explain myself
@@yagmurasdf3058 i don't have d.i.d but i think whichever alter who learnt it could be the only person who has reach to that information.
Damn you look great! So glad y’all are back !! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m glad you’re getting your videos back 🥰
AHHHH IM EARLY AND IM SO HAPPY YOUR UPLOADING AGAIN
Hi 👋🏻 ❤️ we love you and it’s nice to see you back!🙃
Making a point of watching all your re-uploads to help your channel 😊.
So glad you're getting all your videos back up 👏🏻
I only heard a voice in my head while i was going through a breakup
It told me "everything will be okay, get some food." It sounds like a woman and idk her name so i called her gale and she began using it. Idk if that counts as anything close to what people are having with DID
Then after several months she started fading away as i'm starting to feel stable and able to hold myself the last thing i heard she said in my head "i wanna go home." Then i've never heard of her since, i miss her.
I finally have some time to catch up on your reuploads of video's and oh my how I have missed listening to you!!
You're videos really really help me. Thank you
It is interesting to learn about how alters communicate internally within a system.
Good to see you again!! Sending love
the bodies hair is so beautiful!
I can't remember how long ago it was, but I'd hear people who were generally very kind and supportive of me (one of which I suspect is the reason why I wanted to teach myself Korean). But there was one specific voice I'd communicate with a lot more often, either through small comments or full-on conversations. He was the one I could hear most clearly, as if he was in the room with me, and was such a calming presence; someone who made me happy and feel safe. I didn't really know a lot about DID then, just general things, so I didn't talk to anyone about it and didn't try to learn things about what it could be, since I didn't want to seem "crazy". I don't really hear any of them anymore, unfortunately, but not having Chris around feels the most upsetting. It's lonely now that he's gone (or just isn't communicating), and I'm not sure what any of this means. I miss them so much sometimes that it hurts, but since I can't hear them anymore I don't know if talking to a psychiatrist would even help. Idk. I love your videos though, they've taught me so much
You're bringing back your videosss! Yess ☺️
I know I have a system, but I haven’t been able to reach out to them. When I (Asher, host) start to lose control, I get scared and jump myself into the body again. This last time, I was almost there when my husband came in the door and distracted me.
I have been, and have more, videos of yours in my queue. Thank you, for all you do.
Hi Kya & System! I'm very glad I can get to watch your old videos, I recently discovered your channel and it is incredible how great you explain about DID, I'm a psychologist from Argentina (we speak Spanish), I specialize in Psychoanalysis, and I'm currently looking for bibliography from native English speaker authors. My question is, have you ever read an article that's written from the psychoanalysis perspective on DID? And if you did, would you recommend one article/author that you read? Thank you very much! Hope you're okay.
You may already know but DissociaDID took some advice and worked with a proffessional awhile ago and it ended up in a massive lawsuit. Hence why this is a re-upload. She may be really hesitant Best of luck though, its nice to see mental health pros doing due dilligence!
I am just playing it in the background, because I watched those videos before, and I want my views to matter, even if only a little bit.
Comment mainly for algorithm.
But also sending much love and support to Your system! Take care of yourself :)
I remember being so obsessed with the rainbow hair!! It looks amazing
I missed you guys so much ♡
Hi! I really liked watching your meet the alters and communication videos, they were very interesting. I'm glad you're reposting them now and good luck with your guy's recovery!
P.S Early!
I've got two random voices but they're both really funny, so they're swag.
Quality content is back ❤
speaking out loud makes inner communication so easy it's scary!!!!!!
it makes it easy to identify which thought is your own
When you hear an Alter's thinking or "talking back" to you, does it feel like you? like.. how do you distinguish it with inner monologue.
Asking because i have the feeling of having an inner alterego just contradicting or agreeing or arguing with me. I'm afraid of both identifying or not identifying with it.
Check out Internal Family Systems
Watch Antony Paddilla's video on DID. She mentions the inner monologue.
strange to see Chloe and Nin and Kya.....they sound completely different. Glad you're reuploading!
they’re makeup is so good im so impressed
So glad to see this again!
Is there going to be more content uploads after these reuploads or are they not making any more new videos?
Speaking out load is the most helpful!
YESSSS, REUPLOADS
judging from what my family say i've had a very traumatizing childhood but i have almost NO memory of what my chlidhood was like. when i try to remember, all i can do is picturing what my classroom and my childhood bestfriend looked like; and there's almost no other memory. i have maladaptive daydreaming and my previous doctor told me it's a dissociative dissorder but didn't explain what type of dissociative disorder it is or what that means. i've spent the last few years searching about d.i.d and realized that maladaptive daydreaming is just a different way of dissociation but my characters AREN'T alters. now i want to find out where my childhood memories went- and if i actually have alters that just never talked to me, how to communicate with them. but i don't experience blackouts so leaving external notes won't work :(
and my therapist once asked me if i ever dream/fantasize about sexual stuff and ever since he asked me that question i've been super afraid of him idk why... so i can't go to him and say "i think i might have d.i.d" i'm just too scared to say this. like what if i get judged for thinking this? i'm super afraid of him judging me. someone help me please :( what should i do?
Hi, I love the effort and courage you put into your videos to bring about awareness. I wanted to ask you if you have ever found something common between all the alters of your system, aside from the trauma, something more intrinsic, ig?
Happy all of you are back!
Hey umm im a bit confused bc im in yr6 rn and one time i felt like i was in a dream although i was only in drums class before PE wen nothing had happened before that soo im just confused.
Could you upload the video of when you done what the alters look like on the sims game? That’s if you’re able to get that video back
I LOVE YOUR HAIR 🤩
I don’t even have DID I just like learning about it’s very fascinating.
We love your systems algorithm ❤
second?
Also I found this out in recent years. Not everyone has an internal monologue. Like I think it said 20 some percent of people actually have one which is weird for me to think about. My minds constantly running. The one time I really noticed my inner monolgue was when I got high I was just saying stuff before I had the chance to think and my brain was screaming "Why did I say that?" Because being hjgh just kind of got rid of me thinking over what I was gojng to say at all. Like as soon as somekne said something I'd just spit out the mkst random bullshit. I think I even looked at my friends and said something like "I can't control my talking"
Sorry about how off topic that got lmao my ADD runs with small details until I'm telling a completely different story than I started off with.
Can you do a video were everybody in your system creates themselves in sims? I think that would be very interesting =)
Not everyone is able or allowed to front on camera for various reasons. I think they built their inner world in sims and also some alters? Idk if they are uploaded yet
@@Helvetica09 Ah! Thanks for saying that. I didn't even think about that 😅 I just thought that it would be interesting :)
I was reading in another video that someone said Kyle actually did this, so hopefully the video is re uploaded at some stage :)
Do you have a video about what it’s like to dream with DID??
I don’t know if this will effect the copyright but the channel name in the reupload notification is misspelled. The a was left out so it’s spelled dissocidid instead of dissociadid. Just lookin out :)
Idk if you'll see this but if you do end up making videos again I do have a question that I don't believe anyone has asked yet and that is "When you switch out do you go immediately into the 'front room' or is it always random where, in the inner world, you end up?"
I'm learning a lot from the video. 💖 Any tips for talking/communicating to an alter that doesn't have a name or identity?
Chloe is so sweet. I love Kya but I will miss Chloe, Kyle, and Omega forever.
Wait where did Omega go?
Wait what happened to Omega??
@@maryia.v She integrated.
It would be interesting if you could make a video on dissociating if it is not too personal, like what do you see when dissociating is it like you are daydreaming until the switch completes or is it just like blacking out?
I started watching this channel today, but I miss Chloe, I like Kya but Chloe is soooooo cool
Damn am I early.But then I can support the re upload.
I have always had voices in my head, but until last year they always helped me, when I did a test the voices would encourage me to focus hard for my family, but these days when I am driving, I head voice tell me to drive full speed off the road.
Those mean voices are alters called persecutors and they’re extremely important. Sometimes persecutors will try to harm you and this can be due to them being ignored. You are a person, you have parts of yourself you dislike and we all bury those parts in our own ways. Unfortunately as a system this can do harm as those parts of yourself need to be there, they have an important function. Speak to that alter, even if you don’t know their name or where they are, ask them why they’re upset with you. Likely their answer will hurt you, like in my experience asking that question was answered with “because we’re a horrible person! This and that and this we’re just horrible!” And it hurt but i had to try and listen. I don’t fully understand their functions myself but persecutors seem to do this primarily, it can seem like they’re trying to sabotage you and make you feel bad, but in reality they’re there for a reason such as coming to terms with things you are unhappy with in your life and being able to resolve them. Keep working on communication and when you feel ready, ask that alter what they need and why they’re unhappy. I promise you it will hurt but you will come out of it able to try and fix whatever is wrong
Yay new old videos
Love your hair 😍
Thank you so much
One thing that's kind of puzzled me about how people don't know they have DID is how do you not know you have amnesia? Like, I know that sounds silly - how can you remember what you don't remember - but surely you'd be aware you're missing stuff? Like you don't remember what happened between certain times in a day, or what you were doing the last few hours, or how you ended up where you are now if you don't remember going there, or if someone says you did something you don't remember doing. Like in a school day if you're going to school, aren't you aware you don't remember doing certain lessons or something? That's kind of the one thing I've never quite understood. I mean they talk about the effect amnesia has on their day to day life and how they need good communication to deal with it, so how can you live with that and not know anything's wrong?
Do you remember what you ate for breakfast on Tuesday last week? Or what you had for lunch 53 days after your sixth birthday? Unless you have perfect memory recall, it's very common for the human brain to edit out large sections of memory that it finds disadvantagous to remember. I can't say for everyone, but for me specifically, I knew something was deeply wrong and I had lots of PTSD symptoms and extremely intense nightmares, but I had no idea why. I grew up in a culty religion, so I just ascribed the blackouts to either sleep deprivation (bc nightmares) or demonic possession. I was "exorcised" a few times. After I left religion, I assumed that I had psychosis of some sort- I was hearing the voices of my alters and had "delusions" of being "possessed". It took several years to figure out what was really going on. Basically, brains are weird as hell.
I'm not 100% sure on this but wouldn't they just assume they've just got poor memory or some other mental disorder? Because there's plenty of other disorders that can cause memory loss, and DID usually isn't someone's first assumption
It could be small periods that they are amnesic and just chalk it up to various excuses (oh i was just too drunk lol, oh i was just zoning out lol). Besides, the brain actively tries to hide the fact to your conscious self that you have DID.
My system is a bit unusual in the sense we’ve never had one host over time, so maybe it’s different for systems who do have a clear, defined host, but I can answer from my system’s perspective. We have always had between 2 and 4 co-hosts at any given point, or at least not had a single host for longer than around 6 months at a time, and each alter had different strategies for dealing with the amnesia.
One alter used to freak out over forgetting things and think they were going mad. They were also kind of aware they weren’t alone in our head, but fought against it because that would also make them ‘mad’. One alter had an enormous amount of self doubt, refusing to make decisions and instantly doubting their recollections (this part was also gaslit a lot in the past, so that probably fed into the reaction too.) Another part just used to shrug it off when they experienced amnesia as ‘part of life’, kind of like it happens to everybody. They were never remotely bothered and just thought everyone forgot huge parts of their lives.
The part that was the most successful at dealing with the amnesia and had the biggest role in keeping our DID hidden from us (unknowingly of course) just used to make stuff up. They’d fill in the blanks with something that ‘should’ make sense, which they then fully believed as fact. They’d fabricate entire conversations, or assign imaginary motives, or change around dates and times to suit the narrative they were creating. Understandably this caused a lot of problems with other alters once the amnesia walls began to break down once we were in therapy, as the made up narratives directly conflicted with the actual experiences those alters had. The cognitive dissonance was too much for the alter who made stuff up, who pretty quickly retreated into becoming dormant since the reality of what the ‘blanks’ had actually been was too much and also their main role of hiding our DID and filling in the blanks was no longer wanted or needed by the system.
I hope that was helpful or at least vaguely interesting, it would be great to hear if other systems had similar coping mechanisms or not.
@@bizziny I wasn't thinking they'd immediately jump to the conclusion that they have DID, just that maybe they'd think it was worth seeing a doctor about. But I suppose I've always have a very good memory and always paid attention to what's going on and to lessons. Now you put it like that, I guess I know some people that might just put it down to being zoned out/on autopilot if they didn't remember a few hours or lessons.
hi Chloe. some times i kind of black out while i'm maybe walking or doing some thing, and when i "wakeup" i have like walked half of the way i was walking to, i also some times are really quiet voices in my head but im not sure if its just me. i am just curios if this is a sign of D.I.D. :)
If its okay, can you please give us your opinion on the wonderland system? Because there's a huge debate on whether they're faking it or not
my system needs my communication to help my inner world be happy
Did they go back through all three videos and reedit them i dont remember the animations being used before
As someone who doesnt have DID, If i were to explain how my inner dialogue works, I'd say i might relive past events or imagine conversations with other people (either real or fictitious) but if it were a movie or a stage play, I feel like im both an actor *and* director... And im also weiting the script. And if i want to try it again I can do another take with different words. Then when im done, or the director yells "cut", the other characters disappear.
Based on how I've seen you describe it in this and other videos, it sounds like soeaking to your alters is a lot more like just having a conversation with another person. Theres no director or camera or retakes/script changes. Just improvisation.
Does that sound kinda accurate?
You make me feel less crazy
Hello Nin or who ever might hopefully see this, I really want to get this out and talk to someone to understand if I have D.I.D or not because I've had many moments in 2019 and 2020 and today in 2022 I had a moment, basically signs of D.I.D but I struggle to believe if I have it because I'm terrified about being wrong and I don't want to lie and fake the disorder, I know if I was genuinely faking it I'd be sweating and cringing and it'd be obvious that I was. This feels real but of course my mother is sure I don't have it and insists I don't and keeps saying I'm wrong about saying how D.I.D isn't a hidden disorder and is meant to be not noticed, my brother has a bf who is diagnosed with D.I.D and I wonder if I should talk to them and see if they can help and even have them both observe me switching and so on. But the way it feels when I switch and different alters feels like I'm seeing through the eyes or I feel like I'm still them but I'm not or like, I don't feel that black out moment, I have amnesia like I can't remember but I'm one who can sort of remember bits, I don't know sorry, it's hard to talk about it because I feel like I'm lying. I know I have had moments I have passed out and suddenly something has happened I didn't do. I hope someone can help
How does sleeping and dreaming works for you?... I mean you all dream about different things?
Love your videos❤
Someone mentioned in another video that they have covered this before so hopefully they decide to re upload it :)
They do have a video on this so hopefully they are able to reupload. What I remember is that they can switch while they’re dreaming meaning the person who was in control who when they went to sleep can change to another alter by the time their wake up. And also alters can watch each other’s dreams or peek at the person who was fronting when they went to sleep’s dream
Commenting to help the algorithm ❤
do alter voices change volumes when you do hear them (like louder or quieter than your inner monologue) or are they the same volume? (even when whispering or yelling)
Yes :) usually the person fronting will have a louder volume while others will appear to have a much quieter voice (we hear them off to the right of the fronters voice)
I have a question. How is the thing with documents for DID systems? I mean like the name on your ID card or something. Is it difficult to do something that involves offices?
Hi, idk if you're going to see this, but if you or anyone with/incredibly educated on DID/OSDD could help me, I'd really appreciate it. I've been having symptoms of OSDD-1b lately, and I feel like I'm probably accidentally faking it, I have two close friends that are system that are both insisting I probably do have some form of OSDD at least, and I just have some question that if they could be answered would really help me figure out if I am a system and should probably get looked at for that or if I'm accidentally faking.
-Does a front kind of feel like... like the host becomes that person? For example, whenever Alice "fronts," I feel her start to get really close to me in the inner world and start almost like projecting through me and then she gets closer and closer until it feels like I've become her and if anything, I'm projecting through her and not the other way around. I feel kinda dizzy and blurry and detached from the body, but I'm fully aware of everything and I feel more like I've become her than another person being fully in control of the body because of how like there I feel I am.
-Can there still be occasional amnesia beyond emotional amnesia?
-Can there be trauma holders in an OSDD-1b system? We have this little girl who talks about having memories of a couple different events and panics whenever we get near our dad because she claims he's incredibly dangerous and that he's "done something" (tbh I've been incredibly uncomfortable around him myself since I was about six or seven, so like, understandable).
-Is it normal to not be able to tell if you thought something or an alter said it? Because like about 60% of the time someone says something I have like a crisis of "Wait did I just think that or-"
-I already know how stupid this is going to sound, but can you for OSDD without extreme s3xual or physical trauma? I've had a heck of a lot of emotional trauma and abandonment through out my life and a tad bit of physical and s3xual, but nothing severe. (But on another hand, how can you figure out if you have repressed trauma, because I have a lot of memory gaps from when I'm was younger?)
-This is also going to sound stupid, but can alters not form or at least hide from you until you're a teenager? I started hearing my alters (assuming that's what they are) voices when I was like 13 or 14 for the first time, and I know at least DID is supposed to form between the ages of 7-9. I have a friend with DID who told me that OSDD can form later but I'm not sure if that's true. They also suggested maybe they were hiding from me until more recently.
If anyone could answer these, I'd really appreciate it. If this could help with any answers, I have diagnosed anxiety disorders, major depressive disorder, and eating disorders. I also have symptoms of autism, BPD, ADHD, and OCD but have not been able to get screened for any of these yet.
Is the host like the person whose name is on the license or passports?
Thanks!