Breaking Dawn, How NOT To Write A Satisfying Ending

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  • @Dominic-Noble
    @Dominic-Noble  4 роки тому +631

    Get your "It's not that deep bro" shirt here: teespring.com/its-not-that-deep-bro?pid=525&cid=101935
    30% off until the end of November 2020 using the code: TEAMNOPE

    • @katherinealvarez9216
      @katherinealvarez9216 4 роки тому +9

      I hope you can take care of yourselves. Read something that’s not going to break you. I don’t know, the Pelican Brief? Or anything not written by Meyer.

    • @jayjeckel
      @jayjeckel 4 роки тому +4

      I love the shirt, but shouldn't there be a comma in there, my friend?

    • @callmema14
      @callmema14 4 роки тому +2

      Will you do the novlea: the short second life of bree tanner?

    • @talitafranco7230
      @talitafranco7230 4 роки тому +2

      Is the new lost in adaptation going to be Nárnia??? I still love Nárnia at this point, is the last book that I really dislike a lot!!! I hope so!!!

    • @beckysaurus3277
      @beckysaurus3277 4 роки тому +1

      you should do a review of " the Host" by Stephenie Meyer. The romance is a bit cringey still (age wise) but I really like the Alien world building.

  • @annef0x
    @annef0x 4 роки тому +5451

    _So are we going to pretend Bella and Edward didn't just name their child the ship name of their moms?_

    • @roxy20231000
      @roxy20231000 4 роки тому +147

      😱

    • @annedavis3340
      @annedavis3340 4 роки тому +178

      I ship it

    • @samhainlegge9563
      @samhainlegge9563 4 роки тому +499

      With the ship name of their fathers as a middle name

    • @tinymxnticore
      @tinymxnticore 4 роки тому +370

      I fully support giving kids ship names, as long as it's fictional characters instead of people you know. My kids Everlark and Stormpilot are going to be so glad I'm their dad.✨

    • @annedavis3340
      @annedavis3340 4 роки тому +191

      @@tinymxnticore maybe Everlark and Stormpilot and come play with my kids Drapple and Flarry!

  • @theloverlyladylo9158
    @theloverlyladylo9158 4 роки тому +2839

    “Smut written by your mother.”
    Excuse me, good sir, but my mother does write smut, and I assure you, it’s a damn sight better than anything Stephanie Meyer’s ever written.

    • @Relichunters01
      @Relichunters01 4 роки тому +163

      That sounds like a fun mom

    • @theuncannydag
      @theuncannydag 4 роки тому +50

      What fandoms is she into?

    • @theloverlyladylo9158
      @theloverlyladylo9158 4 роки тому +304

      @@theuncannydag she’s actually a published romance novelist

    • @TheEarlofZerces
      @TheEarlofZerces 4 роки тому +22

      But is it better than Laurell K Hamilton? :P

    • @theuncannydag
      @theuncannydag 4 роки тому +99

      @@theloverlyladylo9158 Damn, that's awesome! Good for her :3

  • @chillpenguin4118
    @chillpenguin4118 4 роки тому +2387

    So, the Dom-as-the-Volturi scene legitimately looks like a 2000s boyband that got way too into vampire fiction, and I love it.

    • @chuohno7945
      @chuohno7945 4 роки тому +44

      Ha! So like Queen of the Damned.

    • @Ugly_German_Truths
      @Ugly_German_Truths 4 роки тому +28

      It has a lot of Japanese and Korean bands too. Well very Emo and all.
      And as this was the one that broke the Dom, he deserved that moment.

    • @wurderer
      @wurderer 4 роки тому +29

      Why was my thirst thought when I read this was “my chemical romance”
      (I am an mcr fan ashhashgfh)

    • @kinagrill
      @kinagrill 3 роки тому +12

      Dominic and the Transylvanian Predators? :p

    • @magicrainbowkitties1023
      @magicrainbowkitties1023 Рік тому

      @@wurderer Girl same XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

  • @briandelivers
    @briandelivers 4 роки тому +1579

    "Have you ever read Twighlight??"
    "Heavens no, I have someone to do that FOR me!"

    • @shinyagumon7015
      @shinyagumon7015 4 роки тому +34

      Pure Luxury

    • @kiram.3619
      @kiram.3619 4 роки тому +6

      XD

    • @MajaBiana
      @MajaBiana 4 роки тому +69

      Secondhand suffering is much more manageable than firsthand suffering, so it's the sensible thing to do when possible imo.

    • @Grim_Sister
      @Grim_Sister 4 роки тому +24

      I have quite a few actually (krimsonetogue, Amanda the Jedi, Dominic Noble)

    • @ryandowney8743
      @ryandowney8743 4 роки тому +6

      This series has driven The Dom mad even more than if he read Sutter Cane.

  • @theoneandonlymichaelmccormick
    @theoneandonlymichaelmccormick 4 роки тому +1609

    “I’m not the kind of person who writes a Hamlet ending.”
    I agree, Stephanie Myer, you most certainly are NOT Shakespeare.

    • @eamonndeane587
      @eamonndeane587 4 роки тому +71

      Especially since Shakespeare's strength as a Writer was his Poetic Dialogue....

    • @Sina-aka-potatosupreme
      @Sina-aka-potatosupreme 4 роки тому +45

      @@eamonndeane587 ... he murmured.

    • @GloomyFish
      @GloomyFish 4 роки тому +32

      She proved that directly by trying to do Romeo and Juliet AND The Merchant of Venice. And failing.
      Well... I guess it's expected when you try to romanticise the story where two teenagers kill themselves...

    • @annef0x
      @annef0x 4 роки тому +51

      Honestly Shakespeare would've probs seen it, laughed in her face about it and made a snarky reference to it also doubling as a dick joke in his next play.

    • @kohakuaiko
      @kohakuaiko 4 роки тому +16

      @@annef0x yep. Sounds about right.

  • @Kyman102
    @Kyman102 4 роки тому +1718

    Oh, and the ultimate irony of Bella letting Edward reading her mind: We get to see, from the moments of Midnight Sun, that this is kind of doomed. Like, in Midnight Sun we see the traits that Edward assigns to her, that she's so demure and polite and kind.
    And in Twilight we can look back and see that Bella is actually a passive-aggressive mean-spirited and judgmental girl. Bella, what little character she has, is NOTHING like Edward always imagined her as. So the two are in love with imagined versions of what each think the other is.
    And they're going to realize this, in time. And they're stuck like this. Forever.

    • @billuraral1870
      @billuraral1870 4 роки тому +187

      I want to read that fic

    • @AllDaGoodUsernamesWereTaken
      @AllDaGoodUsernamesWereTaken 4 роки тому +210

      That's some horror story material right there

    • @thomasraines1396
      @thomasraines1396 4 роки тому +58

      Damn that’s messed up

    • @Strannik01
      @Strannik01 4 роки тому +153

      @@billuraral1870 "Moves in Mysterious Ways" touches on this, if you pay attention.
      *Spoilers*
      At first glance, it looks like a gender-flipped version of Twilight, but, if you pay attention, you realize that this much more mature Bella was married to a Cullen in the past but was not anymore, and we run into five vampires who kept chasing after her, one of who she referred to, with dread, as "him." (So Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmet and Edward). Since the narrator is a human guy who doesn't know Bella's backstory, he can't put any of this together, but we the readers can.

    • @billuraral1870
      @billuraral1870 4 роки тому +5

      @@Strannik01 thanks!

  • @IvoirePunk
    @IvoirePunk 4 роки тому +1049

    Ah, yes, the Volturi: Michael Sheen, the Tall Depressed One, and Jeffree Star

    • @ninawth
      @ninawth 4 роки тому +78

      OMG Jeffree Star. I'm totally losing it right now hahahaha

    • @psych0lucy370
      @psych0lucy370 4 роки тому +80

      And pain girl.

    • @IvoirePunk
      @IvoirePunk 4 роки тому +127

      @@psych0lucy370 with her brother, Serious Justin Bieber

    • @thomasraines1396
      @thomasraines1396 4 роки тому +41

      @@IvoirePunk “serious Justin Bieber” hilarious.

    • @tristanhartup4936
      @tristanhartup4936 4 роки тому +29

      Wasn't Dakota Fanning also one of them?

  • @LindsayEllisVids
    @LindsayEllisVids 4 роки тому +4418

    The comment about "I couldn't let them go through with the battle, because if I did 90% of everyone would die" makes me wonder if she realizes she is in control of the rules of her own universe, and she could have contrived a way for that not necessarily to have been the case.

    • @user-uc2he9wb2f
      @user-uc2he9wb2f 4 роки тому +197

      Linsey Ellis? 👀 I love you

    • @user-uc2he9wb2f
      @user-uc2he9wb2f 4 роки тому +220

      Also yes I agree. I wish she would’ve just rewritten the ending instead of sticking staunchly to her first one. (HIMYM vibes)

    • @sockpuppetmogwai856
      @sockpuppetmogwai856 4 роки тому +325

      I think a big problem for her was, she made the Volturi way to powerful for it to go well and completely underpowered the Cullens. I mean sure they have Edward, Jasper, Alice, Benjamin (Avatar), and Zafrina (Illusions) but really none of the others where of any big use once battle got underway. Kate has tasing touch through her whole body but we see you can resist it.
      The volturi has Alec (Takes all your senses the moment you touch his fog), Jane (Burns you with a look locking you in place in pain for a second or two), Demetri (can track anyone so no one can escape), Felix (said to be the best fighter on earth), Chelsea (Can break the bonds of alliance the moment they leave the shield turning them on one another), and just had more people.
      She clearly didn't consider these when giving them those powers. She doesn't even introduce Alec's power till BD so why give him such a broken power?

    • @honeycombfromheaven
      @honeycombfromheaven 4 роки тому +180

      Holy hell, I've been waiting for literal years for confirmation that Lindsay Ellis watches Dom's videos. A very ideal crossover IMO :')

    • @artemiswolf4508
      @artemiswolf4508 4 роки тому +275

      @Lindsay Ellis The frustrating is that she did. BELLA’S SHIELD. She actually said the Vulturi weren’t used to fighting without their powers... *JUST MAKE THAT THE REASON AND DON’T KILL ANYONE*

  • @michiyaslana5974
    @michiyaslana5974 4 роки тому +1663

    A moment of appreciation for Dom who recorded himself like twenty times doing scary vampire poses in different wigs and sometimes even costumes!

    • @breezy3392
      @breezy3392 3 роки тому +47

      He truly is dedicated to his craft and audience

    • @ityabean
      @ityabean 3 роки тому +54

      That must have been like, half a day of just recording vampire idle animations.

    • @piotrmroczkowski2324
      @piotrmroczkowski2324 3 роки тому +18

      He is the best

    • @WindWalker666
      @WindWalker666 2 роки тому +13

      I was profoundly impressed, and concerned for him after seeing this.

    • @heidiwills4259
      @heidiwills4259 2 роки тому +5

      it was the best part of my day.

  • @PunkExMachina
    @PunkExMachina 4 роки тому +2941

    Fun fact: The entire saga happens in LESS THAN 2 YEARS
    Here’s the timeline (courtesy of twilight renaissance fandom):
    Jan 18 2005- Bella meets Edward
    March 2005 - Bella and Edward start dating
    Sept 16 2005 - Edward leaves bella
    March 22 2006 - Bella and Edward get back together after she goes to Italy.
    June 13 - Engagement
    Aug 13 - Bella and Edward get married
    14 August - Bella and Edward have sex for the first time.
    31 August - Bella discovers she is pregnant. Feels the spawn moving around.
    September 11 - Bella has the spawn baby from hell
    September 13 - Bella is a mother, wife, and a vampire.
    New Years Eve - the volturi arrive/the end.
    Bella spent 11 months of actual relationship with this mans, got married, had a baby, and entirely changed herself for him, in the most literal sense it’s wilddd.

    • @ambervalkerie9134
      @ambervalkerie9134 4 роки тому +457

      seeing the timeline makes it worse

    • @annef0x
      @annef0x 4 роки тому +465

      Bish literally just speedran through her love life and ended up rich and immortal. Bitlife could never-

    • @revinaque1342
      @revinaque1342 4 роки тому +182

      Whoa, she was pregnant for less than a month? I mean, apart from the spine-breaking demon spawn that had to be ripped out of her uterus with vampire teeth, a lot of women would be jealous of that 😂

    • @3asianassassin
      @3asianassassin 4 роки тому +236

      The 11 month thing is a dream that is common among sexually repressed conservative teenage girls who want some but just cant until marriage, and because of their indoctrination, they will make the mistake of marrying a total piece of shit and be stuck with them because "divorce iz evul" until someone pulls them out of it.

    • @MelodyLovelace
      @MelodyLovelace 4 роки тому +48

      Aghhhhh Bella met Edward on my birthday whyyyyy

  • @ashhinman1919
    @ashhinman1919 4 роки тому +902

    “You have committed very naughty vampire crimes”
    “No we haven’t”
    “Understandable, have a nice day.”

    • @filiptrajkovski2198
      @filiptrajkovski2198 4 роки тому +29

      To quote The Chosen One
      " I employ you to reconsider "
      "OKAY"

    • @nancyjay790
      @nancyjay790 4 роки тому +3

      It is one of The Narrator's great talents.

    • @just-trying-my-best-everyday
      @just-trying-my-best-everyday 4 роки тому +3

      I love you.

    • @emilyrln
      @emilyrln 4 роки тому +2

      @@filiptrajkovski2198 Sounds like a sweet gig. Where do I apply for this job? 😉

    • @filiptrajkovski2198
      @filiptrajkovski2198 4 роки тому +2

      @@emilyrln for that you must live in feudal china have a corvet and a tonguie

  • @gokuxsephiroth4505
    @gokuxsephiroth4505 4 роки тому +1094

    Lmao, Bella literally has the "everything proof shield" that annoying kid in class always claimed to have

    • @Xehanort10
      @Xehanort10 4 роки тому +122

      Like the kid who when he or she loses a game on the playground they start changing the rules so they can't lose.

    • @beth7935
      @beth7935 4 роки тому +72

      OMG, you're so right! I'm that weird adult who plays imaginary games with kids, & I flat-out refuse to fight anyone with impenetrable armour. (Unless they're still so little you let them win everything, I don't torment 4-yr-olds!)

    • @brenna_marie
      @brenna_marie 4 роки тому +8

      Your profile pic is beautiful

    • @elsie8757
      @elsie8757 3 роки тому +35

      I had a "friend" as a kid who would pull shit like that all the time. She'd also arbitrarily declare that she had all the cool powers while limiting the amount I was "allowed" to have. I let her get away with it because she clearly needed the ego boost while I didn't care either way.

    • @g4m3rgril57
      @g4m3rgril57 3 роки тому +32

      I just realized I was probably that kid in class. I apologize to my elementary classmates.

  • @Moonstar79
    @Moonstar79 4 роки тому +2056

    She shoulda just named Renesmee "Charlotte," after Charlie.

    • @sockpuppetmogwai856
      @sockpuppetmogwai856 4 роки тому +280

      Her middle name is Carlie. Its a mix of Carlisle and Charlie. But at least Carlie is a name.

    • @Moonstar79
      @Moonstar79 4 роки тому +288

      @@sockpuppetmogwai856 That would have made such a better first name! Not to mention that both Charlie and Carlisle are far more important than Renee or Esme.

    • @shinyagumon7015
      @shinyagumon7015 4 роки тому +142

      @@sockpuppetmogwai856 So, her middle name is also a combo?
      I'm wondering why her last name isn't Cullswan, but that wouldn't be traditional enough for the literal vampires.

    • @Astrocam88
      @Astrocam88 4 роки тому +125

      @@sockpuppetmogwai856 Carlie Renesmee Cullen sounds better than Renesmee Carlie Cullen.

    • @thomasraines1396
      @thomasraines1396 4 роки тому +69

      @@Moonstar79 exactly Esme is just kind of there and Renee is the epitome of terrible.

  • @meganechan720
    @meganechan720 4 роки тому +802

    Petition for Dom to make a feature length movie starring himself, himself, and himself.

    • @Xehanort10
      @Xehanort10 4 роки тому +38

      Adaptation Wars. Attack of the Doms.

    • @PrototypeSpaceMonkey
      @PrototypeSpaceMonkey 4 роки тому +24

      I'd settle for a full-length edited version of the Twilight Abridged skits.

    • @Tiger89Lilly
      @Tiger89Lilly 4 роки тому +8

      @@PrototypeSpaceMonkey idk some of my favourites were when he did the amish romance books

    • @SEP0...0HEP
      @SEP0...0HEP 4 роки тому +4

      @@Xehanort10 Oh no the Subs are dying lmao

    • @chansesturm7103
      @chansesturm7103 4 роки тому +4

      A movie where all the characters are played by Ryan George and Dominic Noble would be even better. _Beautiful_ concept.

  • @barzombi7043
    @barzombi7043 4 роки тому +618

    "Goodbye Jacob, my brother... My son." is the ultra cursed version of the "I would have followed you, my brother, my captain... My king." from the Boromir speech at the end of the Fellowship of the Ring.
    I'm sorry but it's true.

    • @SennaHawx
      @SennaHawx 3 роки тому +51

      I hate you for being right D:

    • @Astrocam88
      @Astrocam88 3 роки тому +57

      Bleckk. She didn't have to add the "My son" part. She could have stopped at "My brother". WHYYY MEYER WHYYYY

    • @juliameyer10313
      @juliameyer10313 3 роки тому +6

      Renegade is the one ring in this scenario

    • @julian7247
      @julian7247 3 роки тому +13

      How DARE you ?!

    • @mrh8142
      @mrh8142 2 роки тому +6

      Oh god that line is awful. I've only watched the movies, didn't need to know that existed

  • @Gauldame
    @Gauldame 4 роки тому +255

    "Goodbye Jacob, my brother, my son..."
    *Banjos intensifies*

  • @dionadair8195
    @dionadair8195 4 роки тому +600

    You didn't mention that Bella, after flipping out on Jacob for imprinting on her daughter, nearly straight-up killed him when she found out he nicknamed her "Nessie."
    It's honestly one of the most hilarious moments in anything I have ever seen.

    • @sockpuppetmogwai856
      @sockpuppetmogwai856 4 роки тому +66

      He mentioned it as a punch. But I thought in the book she legit goes to rip his throat out with her teeth. Seth jumps in the way and because Bella is a Newborn and is impossibly strong she breaks his arm on accident.
      Also, the reason Seth and Leah hang around so much is kind of funny. They are soon to be Bella's step-siblings. Charlie and Sue Clearwater are a thing at the end of the book, so they are Bella's family too.

    • @ForrestFox626
      @ForrestFox626 4 роки тому +51

      You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster!?

    • @dionadair8195
      @dionadair8195 4 роки тому +5

      @@sockpuppetmogwai856 Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

    • @jupitermelichios392
      @jupitermelichios392 4 роки тому +55

      the fact that she seems honestly angrier about that than about the whole child bride thing is... a lot

    • @sockpuppetmogwai856
      @sockpuppetmogwai856 4 роки тому +12

      @@jupitermelichios392 In all fairness she never actually writes there will be a child bride. Jacob is an unreliable narrator when he is explaining Imprinting to Bella. The "Official" guide stresses that Quill does not think of Claire that way. And Nessie is basically written as an adult from minute 1 and even then I don't remember if we get 100% confirmation those two will get together either since that imprinting can't be for breeding as Nessie is sterile.
      She really sucked at this I will give you that.

  • @TactlessC
    @TactlessC 4 роки тому +845

    Stephanie Meyer: "The battle had to be mental"
    Movie: "GOT IT!" [makes a huge epic fight scene that turns out to be Alice just projecting an outcome into the Vulturi's minds]

    • @righteouself9928
      @righteouself9928 4 роки тому +141

      I got dragged into the movie as a child because my mother and sister were fans.....
      I was so bored throughout the whole movie and was extremely mad that the fight scene turned out to be just a vision.
      But tbh now knowing that there wasnt one to begin with? Kudos to the film

    • @ToastyJunebugs
      @ToastyJunebugs 4 роки тому +36

      I forced my friend to watch this movie in theatres bc I had heard that there was an epic battle and wanted to see it, but didn't want to go by myself. It was the best part.

    • @fermintenava5911
      @fermintenava5911 4 роки тому +75

      The filmmakers openly acknowledged in behind-the-scenes-material that they had to do some deep talkings wiith Meyer to get even this mere vision. She insisted on a peaceful solution through diplomatic measures.

    • @jocalyncruz3467
      @jocalyncruz3467 4 роки тому +14

      I didn't expect the intense fight scene to become a vision projection and because of that when I was younger I thought that was so cool

    • @eduardoumanzor8506
      @eduardoumanzor8506 4 роки тому +22

      I watched that scene while waiting to print some pictures and it wad posibly the most hilarious fight scene ever put to film:
      Vampires jumping around while effortlessly ripping heads off and looking smug while doing so, not to mention how fake the heads look, and of course the even Berserk was better CGI werewolves, it looked so bad I was laughing my ass off along with a lot of people, and laugh even harder when it turned out to be an illusion, its so terribly bad that is actually quite good.

  • @KleineDiva85
    @KleineDiva85 4 роки тому +766

    Drinking game: take a shot every time Dom says "ReNeSmEe" with utter disgust

    • @Fuiotter
      @Fuiotter 4 роки тому +59

      No survivors were found.

    • @juniperrodley9843
      @juniperrodley9843 4 роки тому +34

      I'm not suicidal, but Dom may be now so thanks for putting the idea out there

    • @LixiaWinter
      @LixiaWinter 4 роки тому +40

      Pro gamer move: drink water and become really hydrated

    • @kimifw58
      @kimifw58 4 роки тому +6

      Three shots. Good times.

    • @jamierobinson7004
      @jamierobinson7004 4 роки тому +12

      A shot of WATER stay hydrated and don’t die

  • @FeuerblutRM
    @FeuerblutRM 4 роки тому +477

    Isn't it kinda funny that Meyer made such efforts to bend her vampire lore to somehow get Bella pregnant only to essentially completely deprive her of being a mother because she sends her child away and said child is going to be adult in no time anyway? 😂😂
    So Bella ends up being nothing but a vessel for a new vampire hybrid. She never really was a mother, though.

    • @nyx_writes4201
      @nyx_writes4201 4 роки тому +79

      I find that so cruel of her because Bella was excited to be a mother in the story

    • @BabyGirlTiny
      @BabyGirlTiny 4 роки тому +34

      So t forget because they’re stuck in the same mental capacity forever, Bella can’t really learn to be a good mother since at that age she’s still immature and wanting to always be wot Edward no matter what

    • @theladyfausta
      @theladyfausta 4 роки тому +75

      I've thought about that! It's just way too depressingly sexist if you think too deep about it. Even Renesmee is deprived of her childhood and autonomy the MOMENT she's born: biologically she'll grow so fast and have such a mature attitude that no one will properly see her as a child, and because of that everyone is just F_____G **FINE** with the fact that Jacob has essentially picked her to be his child bride (Dom couldn't have chosen a better word for it!) I'm worried that Stephanie Myer has so casually written stuff that is truly horrifying if you look just a little too long at it. Dom mentioned numerous times that she seems to have the potential to be a great horror writer, and when you look at her work like this you really start to see it even more.

    • @atiredfloridian777
      @atiredfloridian777 4 роки тому +1

      ....I'd pay to read that.

    • @billuraral1870
      @billuraral1870 4 роки тому +76

      The moment that kid was out of the womb, Bella stopped being interseted in her. Almost everyone but Bella is left to care for her -Rosalie, Esme, Jacob (ugh). She actually forgets about her once or twice because appereny having vampire sex just that good.
      As terrible a character she is, I can't help but feel bad for Reneesme. No one in her life has any uncondutional love for her. Her parents are too self-centered and too interested with each other to show her proper care, Rosalie sees her as the cute little baby she never had (no doubt she'll lose interest too once she growns out of precious toddlerhood...at age 1, probably), the rest of the family thinks she's just a quirky oddity, and everyone is cool with having a grown ass man claim her as his future wife and leave him to act as her nanny. The fucking child groomer takes care of her more than her parents!
      Not to mention her childhood will end in about 5 years. I don't care what Meyer says, mind and body just doesn't adjust that perfectly. She's either a grown adult trapped in a toddler's body, or she'll be a seven year old girl with a young adult's apperence and will be fully expected to marry the guy who raised her. Either scenario is pretty nightmareish in their own rights and I want to scream just from imagining it.

  • @ketsuekikumori9145
    @ketsuekikumori9145 4 роки тому +384

    "I liked cats more than I liked Bella."
    That's such a telling comment.

    • @arigadatred5395
      @arigadatred5395 4 роки тому +28

      "I liked Cats more than I liked Twilight."

    • @arrogantgodjealous
      @arrogantgodjealous 4 роки тому +19

      I know some very lovable cats!

    • @TSDTalks22
      @TSDTalks22 3 роки тому +5

      @@arrogantgodjealous they’re talking about the movie

    • @LDFrost117
      @LDFrost117 9 місяців тому

      I feel you weren't sober when typing this

  • @cassie6146
    @cassie6146 4 роки тому +884

    The “rapidly aging child” trope is starting to become a pet peeve of mine. I get why Meyer did it, since she wanted Nessie to be this vampire child prodigy, but it makes her feel less like a character and more like a MacGuffin. Sure babies can’t exactly be fleshed out characters but at least that way we could see Bella and Edward actually adjust to being parents.
    There’s all sorts of intriguing scenarios that comes with having a supernatural child character, partly because human children are already prone to doing batshit things. You know how sometimes parents will be woken up by their kids staring at them from the end of their beds and it’s creepy as hell? Imagine going through that with a vampire child. Imagine having to reign in a kid that can jump around the house like a caffeinated flea and instead of keeping them from making loud comments about strangers in public, you’re trying to keep them from draining stranger’s blood.
    Even if Meyer didn’t want to play this for comedy, wouldn’t it make more sense for Nessie to not have full control over her abilities? She’s not only a young vampire, but she’s half-human, which would probably leave her with conflicting instincts. A child whose sweet nature is constantly at odds with an insatiable bloodlust. That way, Bella (who should also not have perfect control) could teach her daughter how to retain her humanity while learning with Nessie how to control her own vampire urges. And Edward could learn that just because his fears of wild new vampires have come to pass, that doesn’t mean he should write his wife and child off as lost causes and maybe that could actually lead to him becoming somewhat decent.
    But no, apparently Nessie is just a natural genius who immediately understands everything that’s told to her and has better control than all the adult vampires put together and will grow up in six years to bone her werewolf goddad. That works too. -_-

    • @greeneyesgirl467
      @greeneyesgirl467 4 роки тому +77

      This whole series is really telling of of how Meyer sees the world honestly...I don't know her. But from just reading the books I can tell we would have conflicting values 😂

    • @AirQuotes
      @AirQuotes 4 роки тому +79

      Yep and they conveniently stop aging in their late teens early 20s when they're at their hottest instead of constantly aging forever just never dying

    • @Xehanort10
      @Xehanort10 4 роки тому +32

      They did something similar with Angel's son Connor in Angel. They had the vampire hunter Holtz who wanted revenge on Angel for the evil things he'd done as Angelus kidnap Connor and raise him in a hell dimension where time moved faster than on Earth. So when Connor came back he was a teenager who'd been raised harshly by Holtz to be a weapon against Angel. Unfortunately the character was also a whiny brat who thought Angel had killed Holtz when Holtz had actually had his helper Justine kill him and frame Angel for it. Since Angel and Angelus were 2 different beings Holtz's revenge was unjustified anyway because he was taking out his grudge against the evil soulless Angelus on the good souled Angel. In Buffy lore vampires are demons without a body who possess human corpses, have the memories of the humans whose bodies they inhabit and an exaggerated version of the human's personality.

    • @GermanLeftist
      @GermanLeftist 4 роки тому +21

      @@Xehanort10 Starting with mid-season 3 Angel started on a downward slope the show never really recovered from. The sole reason why I find season 5 more watchable than 4 is Spike.

    • @bloodycoffee9293
      @bloodycoffee9293 4 роки тому +15

      @@GermanLeftist Season 4 was the worst season of that show, not just because of Connor, but mostly for what happened to Cordelia. Season 5 is my favorite though because it seemed like the writers realized that you can still have serious and dark storylines, while also having fun. Season 4 was like suffocated by its own melodrama ya know?

  • @trulypatrice
    @trulypatrice 4 роки тому +474

    "Jacob doesn't seem too impatient for Bella's daughter to turn age 6, so he can start having sex with her."
    *Dominic screams into pillow*
    Yeah, Dom, I, uh, *whew* yeah....this was both rough and disturbing to hear. Even WITH knowing the context. I salute you for reading these books for our entertainment. Not all heroes wear capes. 👌🏾😀😂😐

    • @cats_are_love
      @cats_are_love 4 роки тому +7

      they wear horror hollinger merch.... and a hint of despair

    • @trulypatrice
      @trulypatrice 4 роки тому +3

      @@cats_are_love lmao!!!! Right!

    • @cats_are_love
      @cats_are_love 4 роки тому +1

      @@trulypatrice FACTS✌️🤣

    • @NeilSonOfNorbert
      @NeilSonOfNorbert 4 роки тому +15

      note the too impatient, so he does seem impatient, ah another level of gross.

    • @ZielonaPastela
      @ZielonaPastela 4 роки тому +2

      Not all wear capes, but Dom does!

  • @MoonShadowWolfe
    @MoonShadowWolfe 2 роки тому +182

    Oh, let's not omit one highly martyr-y detail: Bella is _not_ paralyzed while she transforms. She is voluntarily holding still out of sheer willpower because she doesn't want anyone(Edward) to feel her pain empathetically. The crucifiction-like agony is such that she thinks if she allows herself any movement at all, she will lose her composure and scream until it's over. But she manages, purely because she can't stand to inflict her pain on them all.

    • @26349
      @26349 Рік тому +31

      It’s a concept of a ‘silent death’. Very widespread in religious scriptures. The act of heroism/pure willpower out of belief, to not show your suffering to your family on your deathbed etc, to just pass silently, like an elevated being of sorts. Judging by how many religious concepts and ideas are ingrained into the series because of the author’s religious background, it’s not surprising SMeyer pushed Bella to marry early, have s*x only after marriage, conceive her first child at 18, right during the honeymoon like a good old christian, and pass away like a virgin-mary-sue she was, to be then reborn forever young, immortal and surrounded by her closest family(aka an ultimate afterlife fantasy of many religious folks).
      Edit: Bella also comes back as a vampire in three days(jesus rose in three days etc); and then they ‘fight’ Volturi(aka the Vatican) on December 31, so I imagine Bella’s resurrection post giving birth had to happen around December 25th(taking into the account how fast everything happens in the story).No subtlety whatsoever😅

    • @HerHollyness
      @HerHollyness Рік тому +14

      Oh it’s just so dumb. Not least because Jasper’s ‘power’ is sensing and manipulating people’s emotions so he would sense that she’s in extreme agony straight away, right? And presumably work his mojo to calm her down/reduce her pain? Didn’t he fully put her to sleep at one point in Twilight? It’s just so dumb.

    • @lexinicole4317
      @lexinicole4317 Рік тому +5

      @@26349Very interest take but the dates you give are physically impossible. There is a 3 month time skip at some point after Reneesme’s birth. So, they both did not happen in December.

    • @lightsideofsin8969
      @lightsideofsin8969 6 місяців тому +4

      I'm very late but no, it's actually not sheer willpower. It's because she's pumped full of morphine. Carlisle hypothesized that it would help with the pain of transformation but the only thing it did was paralyze her. She was physically unable to move or speak but it didn't help the pain. She doesn't tell anyone about that as to not make anyone feel bad but she recognizes that she would have to tell Carlisle the truth when/if he had to create another vampire.

  • @callmema14
    @callmema14 4 роки тому +435

    In my head canon Reneesmee grows up and struggles with being half vampire and desires a normal human life as the Cullens kept her sheltered and out of town. She starts to resent them keeping her sheltered and rebels and wants to go to "human school". And she decides she has choices when she makes human friends and human love interest. And REJECTS her "fate" of ending up with Jacob.

    • @GiulianaBruna
      @GiulianaBruna 4 роки тому +70

      Can she rebel and move in with Charlie or Renee?

    • @sadies8100
      @sadies8100 4 роки тому +100

      Bonus points if that love interest is a girl.

    • @rebellyanmagic6409
      @rebellyanmagic6409 4 роки тому +91

      The thing with the imprinting is that per Meyer's canon, hybrids are effectively sterile. So why did Jacob imprint on ReNameMe when she's not going to be able to birth strong hybrid wolves to carry on his bloodline?

    • @BrightWulph
      @BrightWulph 4 роки тому +39

      @@rebellyanmagic6409 Because Meyer wanted her "aww how romantic" moment. XP just all of my whats.

    • @oliviawilliams6204
      @oliviawilliams6204 4 роки тому +11

      @@sadies8100 I’d actually read that

  • @ecyor0
    @ecyor0 4 роки тому +390

    First book: "Y'know, I think this isn't going to be so bad."
    Last book: (incoherent screaming)

    • @Damassan
      @Damassan 4 роки тому +29

      I think you mean (incoherent murmuring)

    • @CarlottaStudios
      @CarlottaStudios 4 роки тому +4

      @@Damassan XD

  • @spookymia8135
    @spookymia8135 4 роки тому +562

    I feel like it's also worth mentioning that Renesmee's middle name is "Carly" which is ALSO a combination of Carlisle and Charlie... so... Maybe Bella Is Just Bad At Naming Things /jazz hands/

    • @allyrose9494
      @allyrose9494 2 роки тому +51

      Okay but at least Carlie is an improvement over Renesmee

    • @dedf15
      @dedf15 2 роки тому +37

      Renesmee
      Carlie
      Cullen
      Was she high when she wrote this? No teen girl would scrawl this combination in her composition notebook during study hall and think "yeah, that's what I would name MY child"...

    • @mrh8142
      @mrh8142 2 роки тому +48

      Ngl it would be just a smidge better if Carlie was her first name
      Carlie Renesmee Cullen > Renesmee Carlie Cullen

    • @awaywiththefaeries9464
      @awaywiththefaeries9464 2 роки тому +10

      I always assumed the decision to give Bedward’s kid these names was inspired by Stephenie’s own name, I read somewhere that she was named after her dad Stephen? Something like that.

    • @IMayOrMayHaveNot
      @IMayOrMayHaveNot 2 роки тому +20

      @@awaywiththefaeries9464 Yeah but Stephenie is just the female variant of Stephen, very much like Philippa is the female variant of Phillip and Alexa is to Alex. Renesmee is a contrived and ugly-sounding portmanteau.

  • @hunterfox6176
    @hunterfox6176 4 роки тому +582

    Here's a fun writing prompt for everyone out there: Take any of the underutilized side characters who are leagues more interesting than the leads and make a story out of them.
    Frustrated and ultimately ignored female werewolf who has to grapple with decisions about her well-being constantly being made for her, up to and including her ex trying to force her to repress her emotions in favor of imposing his own will over her? Instant plot, no extra conflict necessary.
    Small town sheriff trying to reconnect with his nearly adult daughter in a healthy way whilst grappling with the growing awareness and threat of the supernatural? Dark Side of the Moon: The Charlie Chronicles.
    A young man blessed with the power to manipulate all four base elements, bending the very world around him to his will while at the same time being cursed with an insatiable taste for blood, forcing this person into a moral dilemma that could turn him into the world's greatest predator? I mean, come on.

    • @bluestar2059
      @bluestar2059 4 роки тому +109

      I would probably, unironically, read a series about Leah (assuming it was written by someone competent). There's just... so much potential there, so much you could do with that set up. Minor horror if you play up the telepathic thing the werewolves have going for them, psychological horror as she's mistreated and controlled by those around her, she could work to become free from them and just live her own life, she could start her own pack of werewolves for other mistreated people and help them.
      There is so much you could do here!

    • @sockpuppetmogwai856
      @sockpuppetmogwai856 4 роки тому +3

      @@bluestar2059 I guess she has gotten better at writing. But when you are brand new, know virtually nothing, I guess you can only improve.

    • @antheathetiefling8581
      @antheathetiefling8581 4 роки тому +113

      A young woman in the 1930s, obsessed with the idea of marriage to a wealthy good looking man, and raising his perfect children.
      Her wish is granted when she is engaged to be married to him. However the night before the ceremony, she is Walking home and finds her perfect fiance drunk with his firends.
      They spot her and the night ends in tragedy as she is ultimately assaulted by him for the amusement of his firends. They leave her for dead in the street. She is then approached by a vampire who offers her a chance for vengeance.
      She agrees and is turned into a vampire. Embracing the killer instinct of the vampire nature,
      She becomes a cruel bloodthirsty thing and hunts them down, one by one. Leaving her perfect fiance for last...
      The bloody bride: the story of Rosalie

    • @annef0x
      @annef0x 4 роки тому +90

      Also, a young girl cursed with the ability to see predictions of the possible future, seeing her mother's death and yet unable to stop it, almost killed by her own father and stepmother (who also plotted her mother's death), locked away in a mental asylum (where she had to undergo vigorous electroshock therapy) where the only kind vampire who showed her affection has to turn her in order to escape James. The same vampire getting killed by James who decides to spare her to see what becomes of her savaged existence. Having to face the same vampire when he eventually comes for her only friend? Like bish? Alice had such good Netflix adaptation material like??

    • @appelofdoom8211
      @appelofdoom8211 4 роки тому +70

      A vampire doctor from the mid 17th century that has learned how to completely control his bloodlust. However as a doctor he has frequently been forced to treat patients that can't be saved but as a vampire he can still save them in a way by turning them into vampires. unfortunately most vampires can't control their bloodlust making them a potential danger to others. But he can't stop himself from helping people on their death bed as a last resort to save them. This, among other things, caused him to acquire an sort of adoptive family of younger vampires that he is the father of and he has to try to keep them on the right path or they can and will kill people. But as luck would have it, one of his children has recently begun growing an unhealthy fascination with a local girl and told her about vampires. She seems unusually accepting of this however.
      Almost as if she wants to turn into a barely controlled blood-sucking monster like them.

  • @tomhur1
    @tomhur1 4 роки тому +330

    I think the filmmakers behind Breaking Dawn must have agreed with you on the "Edward calling Jacob his brother and son" thing and how disgusting it is because in the Breaking Dawn movie Edward actually shoots down the idea of Jacob calling him dad.

    • @genevieve5411
      @genevieve5411 4 роки тому +119

      There are a lot of moments throughout the films where it’s obvious the filmmakers were trying to dodge some of the rougher moments in the books. Like specifically when he was talking about nobody in the books commenting on how weird Renesmee’s name is, where in the film several characters definitely do. That’s the main reason I’m really hoping we will still get a Lost in Adaptation series on the films from Dom, when he’s recovered enough.

    • @thomasraines1396
      @thomasraines1396 4 роки тому +68

      @@genevieve5411 they also cut Carlisle’s motivation for turning Rosalie into a vampire in the first place (she was meant to be Edward’s “mate”).

    • @emilylike-the-soup2502
      @emilylike-the-soup2502 4 роки тому +13

      I’m sorry, what? That’s so messed up.

    • @brandonlyon730
      @brandonlyon730 4 роки тому +41

      And the fact that we did get an epic enough fight scene from the “war”. Granted it wasn’t real and was just some image created by the kid, but at least something rather then just nothing. Like Dom said before these may be romance books and not action adventure ones, but come on you build up a giant vampire war and you basically do nothing with it?

    • @chance757
      @chance757 4 роки тому +31

      @@brandonlyon730 the fight scene in the movie was generated by alice, not renesmee but i definitely get what you mean. i was originally disappointed in the book ending but appreciated it MUCH more after being completely traumatized in the theater lmao. 14 year old me was heartbroken at watching my beloved characters die, even if only in a vision. the visuals were sick though lol.

  • @kajamiletic3223
    @kajamiletic3223 4 роки тому +476

    I remember reading this in high school and being HORRIFIED by the precocious baby. The birth scene didn't bother me as much, I found it that disturbing that the baby had its own well-structured thoughts from the start and was growing up in such a fast and unnatural way.
    Right now I'm a developmental psychologist and I am actually even more horrified. Because that's not how people grow - you need to have lots of experiences with the world in order to gain maturity and I just imagine that something would be... Seriously off psychologically with that child.

    • @thomasraines1396
      @thomasraines1396 4 роки тому +91

      Also her parents are two love sick, obsessed stalker immortal teenagers so that’s not good for the kid’s health.

    • @mrh8142
      @mrh8142 2 роки тому +65

      Jacob's grooming will definitely not help with her development either. With her also growing up faster physically, it's a bad combo all around.

    • @sailorsaturn7808
      @sailorsaturn7808 2 роки тому +23

      Yes! Its like how does the baby know words and tenses and have concepts and such? How is she getting all of this???

    • @zoeb3573
      @zoeb3573 2 роки тому +39

      This reminds me how in Netflix' Castlevania, Alucard (the half-human son of Dracula) reveals that he grew up faster than a human child, and Sypha remarks this might be why he's a bit immature and not so good at socialising - he's missing a lot of social experiences you're supposed to develop as a kid. Renesme acted like a creepy kid because she's a few years old looking kid with the experiences of a toddler. Probably why she barely ever speaks even though she should be able to and uses visions directly transmitted into people's brains instead.

    • @gooblegal817
      @gooblegal817 Рік тому +17

      that's why the imprinting between them made me even more uncomfortable. the kid is being groomed regardless, but she'll also be "physically matured" enough to sleep with, without judgement from anyone around them, with only 6 years of life experience. this man has been protecting and taking care of her since birth, everyone around her approves of this relationship, and he will naturally change himself to be perfect for her. she will never even consider another option but Jacob. there's no way this relationship can't be exploitative, and really skirts the line around informed consent.

  • @madauntiekeith2814
    @madauntiekeith2814 4 роки тому +292

    absolutely lost my shit at "back away from the heavy racial subject", partly for the gag itself and partly for the facial expressions of Background Dom

    • @Absol7701
      @Absol7701 2 роки тому +7

      I know it's hilarious

  • @OtakuJuanma2
    @OtakuJuanma2 4 роки тому +465

    The Dom-acted section is just an excuse for him to show off his extensive wardrobe.

    • @Biburoo52
      @Biburoo52 4 роки тому +44

      I was really impressed with it. Particularly the wigs.

    • @oliviawilliams6204
      @oliviawilliams6204 4 роки тому +17

      He looks good in a dress. *chuckles*

    • @asenseofyarning5614
      @asenseofyarning5614 4 роки тому +26

      I would LOVE to know
      A) how many wigs he owns, and
      B) if he has an annual budget for wig purchases/upkeep.

    • @Zencaste
      @Zencaste 4 роки тому +14

      @@asenseofyarning5614 I love Dom but those wigs are terrible so I doubt he pays for upkeep lol

    • @asenseofyarning5614
      @asenseofyarning5614 4 роки тому +9

      @@Zencaste Yeah okay, that's fair. 😅

  • @justme0910
    @justme0910 4 роки тому +446

    "So why would [SMeyer] go to such great lengths to show how cruel [the Volturi] are and how many people are dying at their hands every day in Italy or reveal that even though they pretend they're all about protecting the safety of their species, they're actually just power-mad tyrants with no real sense of responsibility towards anyone but themselves?"
    Because these books are a steeped in Mormon theology and the Volturi are a blatant stand-in for the Catholic Church (and more specifically, the Vatican).

    • @kiarastamford4944
      @kiarastamford4944 3 роки тому +62

      Yo! I'm Catholic and never even noticed this. But yeah, people that aren't Catholic in my family think the Catholics in the family are likely going to hell. So, this makes so much sense.

    • @jito7377
      @jito7377 2 роки тому +15

      Oh. This makes so much sense...

    • @boxorak
      @boxorak 2 роки тому +37

      If that's the case, I'm kind of impressed Meyer just had the Cullens convince the Volturi to back off rather than outright defeating and overthrowing them.

    • @SarastistheSerpent
      @SarastistheSerpent Рік тому +6

      A lot of Protestant and even Eastern Orthodox writers (although technically I suppose Mormons are neither) put anti-Catholic propaganda in their books, and use strange caricatures for Roman Catholics. I think the trend took off with Dostoyevsky

    • @kaitlyn__L
      @kaitlyn__L Рік тому

      @@kiarastamford4944that’s pretty funny, where I live the other sects are pretty agnostic on whether hell exists at all or is just a metaphor for being less-close to god in heaven, so the only ones talking about hell are the catholics and they’re the ones insisting everyone else is hellbound. but given what i know of the intensity of american fundamentalism and mormonism, i shouldn’t be surprised that that’s the reaction the catholics get!

  • @fairycat23
    @fairycat23 4 роки тому +59

    I'm still convinced half the reason Rename-me was an abnormal baby with the ability to communicate her wants and needs clearly was an escapist fantasy for a mother of three.

    • @RLane-xz5cj
      @RLane-xz5cj 4 роки тому +4

      That, and it was probably too much work for Meyer to figure out to move the plot forward with Bella having to tend to a newborn the whole time.

  • @ValkyrieCain123
    @ValkyrieCain123 4 роки тому +413

    I'll never forget laughing with a friend in highschool when I first heard that Bella named her child "Renesmee". As someone said below, it's essentially just a ship name between the two mothers. We spent the entirety of lunchtime trying to think of ship names that a hardcore fan would probably use in the future to name their kids, ex: Destiel, Cherik, Hannigram, Jelsa, Merthur, ect. It was entertaining.

    • @PhoenixAngel429
      @PhoenixAngel429 4 роки тому +23

      Hell some Hetalia ship names are funny Fruk, RusAme, GerIta, Ameripan, Rochu, Amebel, CanUkr, need I go on?

    • @ariwashington4742
      @ariwashington4742 4 роки тому +2

      I was really hoping he'd mention bellas name if it were a boy😅

    • @abbygleeson420
      @abbygleeson420 4 роки тому +18

      bro if i meet a kid who introduces themself as Destiel i am going die on the spot

    • @ValkyrieCain123
      @ValkyrieCain123 4 роки тому +18

      @@abbygleeson420 On the bright side, at least it's better being named after a kinda canon ship than one that got completely shafted lmao.

    • @abbygleeson420
      @abbygleeson420 4 роки тому +1

      @@ValkyrieCain123 alright, fair

  • @DarkMasterofCupcakes
    @DarkMasterofCupcakes 3 роки тому +293

    Personally, I still love that it wasn't finding out that Jacob was pretty much definitely planning to eventually be romantically (at least) involved with her daughter someday that made Bella angry enough to seriously attack him....it was finding out about the nickname he'd given her. She was apparently more angry that Jacob gave her daughter a nickname than she was about him intending to date her someday.

  • @armellelegal7972
    @armellelegal7972 4 роки тому +191

    "I like cats more than I like Bella"
    Iconic

  • @Connor.Buchanan
    @Connor.Buchanan 4 роки тому +449

    “That good vampire that’s basically the avatar.”
    - Haha, totally forgot about that dude.

    • @jupitermelichios392
      @jupitermelichios392 4 роки тому +52

      I never forget about him. At any given moment I am either thinking about how Rami Malek was in the twilight movies, or that plot point from oceans twelve where tess ocean, played by julia roberts, pretends to be famous actress julia roberts, but that ones because I'm cursed to be the one person who remembers that plot point so the rest of humanity can collectively forget it

    • @ackbarfan5556
      @ackbarfan5556 4 роки тому +4

      @@jupitermelichios392 I remember Rami from years before his eventually breakout for his role as SNAFU in The Pacific. ua-cam.com/video/RlWpU9iHqRE/v-deo.html

  • @artemiswolf4508
    @artemiswolf4508 4 роки тому +544

    Just a friendly reminder that Edward’s mom who actually raised him and spend her last moments of life convincing Carlisle to save her son was name Elizabeth.
    Renesme could’ve been call Elizabeth, Reniza or Eline.
    But Bella said “scrw her I never met her”
    And I know adoptive mothers can have just as deep a connection to their children but... Esme was turn at the same time as Edward and it’s only 9 years older

    • @findyourcenterbbc8483
      @findyourcenterbbc8483 4 роки тому +55

      Reniza Carlie Esmee Cullen sounds way better.

    • @elizabethashley42
      @elizabethashley42 4 роки тому +79

      As an Elizabeth, I am deeply thankful that Meyer did NOT name the creepy baby that one. 😆

    • @loganbigmo
      @loganbigmo 4 роки тому +69

      Just a quick correction, Esme is six years older than Edward (she was born in 1895, Edward was born in 1901). But she is nine years older physically, as Edward became a vampire when he was 17 in 1918, and Esme became a vampire at 26 in 1921. So she wasn't turned at the same time as Edward, but 3 years later. She actually pretended to Edward's sister in the early days, until Carlisle fell in love with her.

    • @billuraral1870
      @billuraral1870 4 роки тому +78

      @@loganbigmo "okay honey, now you're my wife, that means you'll gonna be Ed's stepmother from now on, even thought he's a grow ass teenager and you're 23 and we already had a more solid cover story about you two being siblings!"
      - Carlisle, appetently

    • @kramenisfalling
      @kramenisfalling 3 роки тому +23

      @@loganbigmo Vampire age math 👍

  • @NoahChinnBooks
    @NoahChinnBooks 4 роки тому +405

    Howdy. Romance editor here... "whispered" "muttered" "murmured" and the like are anathema to me. Instant cross outs unless they are absolutely justified.

    • @thomastakesatollforthedark2231
      @thomastakesatollforthedark2231 4 роки тому +29

      What about "in a hushed tone"?

    • @Moonstar79
      @Moonstar79 4 роки тому +21

      @@thomastakesatollforthedark2231 Or "said softly?"

    • @darcyarden9704
      @darcyarden9704 4 роки тому +40

      As someone who is in the process of officially publishing a romance book, I can second this. Luckily I knew this rule from the start, so my editor didn't have to worry about it (I gave them plenty of other things to worry about instead).

    • @StrawberryMilky69
      @StrawberryMilky69 4 роки тому +8

      May I ask why? Is it just cringy to you or are there better words to use?

    • @Moonstar79
      @Moonstar79 4 роки тому +40

      @@StrawberryMilky69 It's different for every author and editor, but there's a golden rule about making dialogue tags seem as seamless as possible, which is why said is, in fact, not dead. Those three words get overused a lot in romance particularly and it often stands in the way of that rule.

  • @docmnc8010
    @docmnc8010 4 роки тому +314

    The child is aging at an accelerated rate, jacob has imprinted on the child. Me: oh yeah that doesnt seem like a good sign. Dom: screaming into a pillow. Fears confirmed

    • @h3nder
      @h3nder 4 роки тому +6

      In Anime its usually 500yr old girl looking 8,not an 8yr old looking 18

    • @sockpuppetmogwai856
      @sockpuppetmogwai856 4 роки тому +4

      Its not just physical though is it? She is not a child anymore than Claudia is in Interview by the time she dies. She is mentally mature but not physically or at least far more mature mentally. So what the hell is that suppose to mean? So she will be full grown mentally and just waiting for her body to catch up? When will she hit adult mentality? 5? 6? A full year or two before her body reaches 18-20 looking? A mentally mature person stuck in the body of a young teen. And Jake having to do anything the person asks?
      Also with the references from Nessie that Jacob is "Hers" I am deeply disturbed. One... who told her? How did they tell her? How did she understand it? Is she more mentally mature than Jake at this point who seems to be a servant to her if not a pet.

    • @doesntmatter2467
      @doesntmatter2467 4 роки тому +10

      The fact Meyer's doesn't really draw a distinction between physical age and mental age makes this even more concerned.

    • @sockpuppetmogwai856
      @sockpuppetmogwai856 4 роки тому +3

      @@doesntmatter2467 It does. What is another thing is. I have seen the fandom just accept this. Roleplay groups just run with imprinting as normal. Now granted they run it as if the wolf is basically their guardian protector who will do anything for them and when they get older the hybrid can decide what to do with the rest of eternity. But imprinting is just turned into the "True mate" trope.

    • @Iva744
      @Iva744 4 роки тому +3

      Doesn't actual imprinting work the other way around too? So that it's the newborn that imprints on an adult. I had a neighbour once who owned a goose as a pet that followed him everywhere because it imprinted on him as a small chick.

  • @YondaMoegi
    @YondaMoegi 4 роки тому +196

    If you don’t want to write downer endings, don’t build up the conflict to have a downer ending.

    • @Tareltonlives
      @Tareltonlives 3 роки тому +24

      And if a downer ending is the only thing you can think of, you actually need to try

  • @francinemcloughlin6096
    @francinemcloughlin6096 4 роки тому +341

    Alright adding
    “Elite vampires vs army of monster babies”
    To the list of things that would have made a way more compelling story.

    • @honestlythough7250
      @honestlythough7250 4 роки тому +21

      Have you ever read Amongst the Hidden? Basically there’s a group of kids that exist illegally and have to hide themselves, but then they choose to fight back and basically get slaughtered. Imagine that, but w vampire kids. The story is from their perspective. You get invested in their journeys to control themselves and be free, but you also understand that they are a legitimate threat to society. Will they survive? Should they? Intrigue

    • @sockpuppetmogwai856
      @sockpuppetmogwai856 4 роки тому +17

      In one of the books it is said in passing or hinted at that the Volturi experimented with immortal children to see if they could be controlled but then when they realized they couldn't they destroyed them all. So they took children.. turned them into vampires, which I remind you is described as acid being poured into your veins while you are being lit on fire, spent time feeding the little monsters they created and then destroyed them. Also pointing out that according to the werewolves vampires even in ash form might be able to reform if their ash is not scattered. Meaning these children could technically still be alive in some form or fashion after undergoing all that torment. If you want to make the Volturi seem even more evil highlight that!

    • @mementoargentum7733
      @mementoargentum7733 4 роки тому +4

      @@sockpuppetmogwai856 I thought Jane and Alec were byproducts of that experiment or one like it....or am I misremembering that they were apparently like the Only child vamps that could be "contained"?

    • @deadinside3820
      @deadinside3820 4 роки тому +5

      Memento Argentum Jane and Alec were turned prematurely circa 800 because they were being burned at the stake for witchcraft, which was implied to already be a big no-no in the vampire world, so logically they would be post experimentation, but I suppose they could have been the earliest "successful" immortal children and they wanted to see how young they could go. Not that it matters, the story is inconsistent anyway.

    • @mementoargentum7733
      @mementoargentum7733 4 роки тому +1

      @@deadinside3820 Ah, thanks for that. It's been Years since I read the series and I was hoping I hadn't imagined them being described as Not-Adults and Not-Teenagers either.
      I agree though, the story is hella inconsistent.

  • @Remerdre
    @Remerdre 4 роки тому +797

    Selfishly, I'll be sad to see your series on these books end. However, for the sake of your well-being, it's a good thing you're done. I hope you recover quickly from this.

    • @bibliophilecb
      @bibliophilecb 4 роки тому +12

      Hey he could always do videos on the films!

    • @whateverworksmate.721
      @whateverworksmate.721 4 роки тому +35

      oh just wait for the lost in adaptation episodes :)

    • @rachelranderson
      @rachelranderson 4 роки тому +14

      I admit I'm sad Dom's brain melted from the series. I would have been interested in his take on Midnight Sun. XD XD XD

    • @marocat4749
      @marocat4749 4 роки тому +1

      Midnight sun sounds pretty entertaining 😂😂 and she put thought in it, its appearently, still, but fun

    • @huntcd2012
      @huntcd2012 4 роки тому +4

      I am curious as to what he’ll think of the films as the do their best to cut out as much of the franchises’ lesser material as they can.

  • @benl2140
    @benl2140 4 роки тому +86

    Dom at the beginning of the series: I want to take a look back at the Twilight books, and hopefully avoid the hyperbolic hatred that has frequently been directed at it.
    Dom at the end of the series: This is what it's like to die and go to purgatory for eternity.

  • @msjkramey
    @msjkramey 4 роки тому +275

    Dom: mentions Avatar
    Also Dom: is slowly turning into Sokka

    • @WiseSageBum
      @WiseSageBum 4 роки тому +25

      Someone send him a boomeraang

    • @faithgoga3983
      @faithgoga3983 4 роки тому +6

      The hair style 😏

    • @FuugaNatsu
      @FuugaNatsu 4 роки тому +2

      I mean, he's had the warrior's wolf tail for a while now.
      ... I think that's what it was called, correct me if I'm wrong xD

    • @solidsteelcobra
      @solidsteelcobra 4 роки тому +2

      @@WiseSageBum Don’t forget the meat and sarcasm.

  • @adda312
    @adda312 4 роки тому +464

    I'm just here to hear him say 'Renesmee' with varying degrees of disgust; over and over again

    • @Crosshill
      @Crosshill 4 роки тому +24

      if i heard that name with no context or spelling whatsoever i'd like the name well enough

    • @birthdayfruitecake8158
      @birthdayfruitecake8158 4 роки тому +14

      Ræñëšméë~

    • @coffeewolf5789
      @coffeewolf5789 3 роки тому +1

      It would be less weird if the other vampires had names that were as weird as that, or even just aliases that are even weirder then that. But nope no one else in this cast has anywhere close to this kind of name. If Bella wanted to give her kid a *unique* name she was successful just not in the way she thought.

  • @thatlycantomboy
    @thatlycantomboy 4 роки тому +138

    comment for the comment gods.
    also, I don’t care what anyone says, “you nicknamed my baby after the Loch Ness monster!?!” is comedy gold

  • @Moonstar79
    @Moonstar79 4 роки тому +157

    *Dom at the beginning of the series:* That's not why I hate Twilight.
    *Dom at the end of the series:* Oh ho ho, that is NOT why I HATE Twilight.

  • @immortallord-ot5sn
    @immortallord-ot5sn 4 роки тому +153

    I think belle getting mad at the nickname thing is the most accurate part of the books I know to many people who gave their kids weird names and then get annoyed when people use nicknames

    • @sadies8100
      @sadies8100 4 роки тому +4

      @Molly Pop because of twilight, or was it just a coincidence?

    • @annef0x
      @annef0x 4 роки тому +5

      @Molly Pop I also know a Renesmee who was pretty chill tbh. Idk if their parents were fans of Twilight or it was just another case of "white people names" tho.

    • @TwelvetreeZ
      @TwelvetreeZ 4 роки тому +1

      @Molly Pop My friend knows a girl from school who named her daughter with that exact spelling as well 😅

  • @timeforlaurynsopinion5138
    @timeforlaurynsopinion5138 4 роки тому +172

    "STEP AWAY FROM THE HEAVY RACIAL SUBJECT!!"

    • @Xehanort10
      @Xehanort10 3 роки тому +3

      Advice the CW should have been given before they made Batwoman Season 2.

  • @RenTheBarbarian
    @RenTheBarbarian 4 роки тому +141

    “I know the Volturi have names, but I defy you to care which is which once you take Michael Sheen out of the equation.” Fair enough 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @billuraral1870
      @billuraral1870 4 роки тому +18

      Of course I can! There's Dakota Fanning and...and...uuuhhh... that blond guy from City of Bones movie?

    • @RoseBaggins
      @RoseBaggins 4 роки тому +4

      @@billuraral1870 yeah, right? Lol

    • @rociohernandez3077
      @rociohernandez3077 4 роки тому +2

      It's funny because I remembered Marco but not Aro until I read few comments lol

  • @rebellyanmagic6409
    @rebellyanmagic6409 4 роки тому +178

    1) You're forgetting the single most unforgivable act of selfishness re the 'good guys' being okay with violence: the fact that none of the golden-eyed Cullens even *tried* to get their murdering allies to try switching to eating animals. The Cullens were happily lending them their expensive cars so their seventeen or so friends could hunt outside of Forks. Bella even calls it 'blatant murder', but everyone condones it. Meyer has spent these books comparing the Cullens to angels, heroes who ignore their base instinct because they value human life. Looks like they don't value human life that much. Hell the one vampire that tries the animal diet doesn't do it because he realized how wrong it was, he only does it to impress one of the Denali girls (Irina's vampire relatives).
    2) 'Self-indulgent' is the single most succinct way to describe BD. The whole thing is just Meyer's Mary Sue fantasy world.
    Why did we waste chapters on her Seattle trip that went nowhere? Because Meyer wanted her self-insert to swan around human society and make much older men gawk at her teenage avatar.
    Why did Meyer waste so many words describing everything Bella has handed to her, from the Disney woodland cottage to the mountains of haute couture clothes to the mounds of money lying around (the Cullens seriously have a 'petty cash' room that's just filled with money)? Because Meyer wants all that stuff and handed it to her teenage avatar.
    Why ReNameMe? Because Meyer wants a fantasy child that can make itself understood, doesn't need to be taught to walk or use the bathroom, and loves her above everyone even though Rosalie is more of a mother than Bella is (Reminder that Meyer has three sons and has said that Bella was named for the daughter she wanted but never got).
    3) Meyer is full of shit when she said that a battle would have ended with almost everyone dead. Bella's shield can negate abilities. Zafrina (one of the racist Amazon vampires. Seriously, every time Meyer described them I cringed) can blind people or make them see illusions. Ben the Avatar can control fire, the one thing guaranteed to permanently put down a vampire. One vampire can make lightning ignite on her palms and shock people into oblivion. Between just those four vampires, the Volturi would have been wiped the fuck OUT. But Meyer deliberately ignores Zafrina, Ben and Kate because as always, Bella has to shine above every other character.
    4) I know I keep recommending Das Mervin's writing, but please check out 'The Wise Man and the Fool' on her FFnet profile. It lays out all the ways the Volturi can completely destroy the Cullens, as well as some horrifying conclusions about ReNameMe's powers.

    • @sockpuppetmogwai856
      @sockpuppetmogwai856 4 роки тому +6

      I'm curious I don't remember how she depicted them other than they where entirely not interested in playing human and wore animal skins did I miss something?
      I disagree with the wiped out part. Bella can't keep everyone in a shield when fighting starts. Her Shield is only mental, you can walk through it and sure she can adjust it to keep you out, but in a fight that would be very hard for her to do. Felix and Demitri literally have a moment where they smirk at her when they see Alice pass through the shield easily because they know that means they can too.
      If Benjamin, Zafrin, or Kate is outside of the shield they are instantly toast. Alec's fog removes all senses the moment you touch it. So what happens if Alec walks into the shield and releases his fog? Sure Bella might be able to shrink her shield to stop that, but during pitch battle?
      Bella is not a good fighter and they stress how Felix and Demetri are gonna probably B-Line straight for her and Edward, if she goes down so do all the rest. As for the fire, yeah it burns them up but they have to be kept in the fire or their venom exposed. So broken off limbs or whatever. In Short Second Life she explains how Victoria tortured one of her newborns by bounding him and slowly burning him to death piece by piece with a sustained fire and holding limbs into the fire.

    • @jaycievictory8461
      @jaycievictory8461 4 роки тому +11

      I just read it. That is creepy as hell! And it really validates the depiction of Renesmee in this other fic, which deconstructs the horror of imprinting, and is one of my favourite fics ever written:
      m.fanfiction.net/s/4561210/1/Your-Heart-Remained-the-Same

    • @andiman44
      @andiman44 4 роки тому +23

      @@sockpuppetmogwai856 She constantly described them as “wild” and their “restless, darting movements” and “fierce appearance”. Hell, at one point Bella even notes that “I’d never met any vampires less civilized” even though they literally came to help her and her creepy ass baby but go off sis. 🙄 Honestly all the people of color in Meyer’s books have racist undertones.

    • @sockpuppetmogwai856
      @sockpuppetmogwai856 4 роки тому +8

      @@andiman44 This is true she does depict them this way. But weren't they also the coven that had no interest in playing human? They hunted in the jungles of the Amazon, never really having to move through the modern world so never needing to adopt human traits.
      I mean we see the Cullens coaching Bella on how to move, act, breath, small tics to consciously do to appear human implying Bella is not doing those things on her own making her inhuman by default.
      I can see why you have an issue with it, but I never saw it as a racist thing so much as highlightning that Zafrina and her coven do not play games, they are like Gabrielle from the Vampire Chronicles, not taking part in the role of human when they are not human.

    • @shayla106
      @shayla106 3 роки тому +7

      @@andiman44 I also the mental gymnastics people like Sockpuppet go to in trying to defend Meyer. This isn’t even her only instance of racism, compare how she treats the white Cullens compared to all the natives and it adds up quick.

  • @midna-phobia1638
    @midna-phobia1638 4 роки тому +200

    Can we all just leave a like for the sheer fact that Dom plays EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER in that lineup? I was laughing so hard, and watched it back several times just to admire each individual cbaracter

  • @Mooskym
    @Mooskym 4 роки тому +354

    Stephenie Meyer: "I will write a shit-ton of characters to make an epic stand at the end of my book series!"
    Dominic Noble
    : "Your characters are so shallow, I can literally portray ALL OF THEM in that epic stand, all by myself! (with the help of my doggos)" (1:13)

    • @coffeewolf5789
      @coffeewolf5789 3 роки тому +7

      I dont think those are his dogs (he's only mentioned having two cats as far as I know) but if those are stock gifs that makes it even better XD

    • @snowgrave2475
      @snowgrave2475 3 роки тому +15

      @@coffeewolf5789 the dogs were just the cats dressed up

  • @stefers8451
    @stefers8451 4 роки тому +174

    In my own personal head canon, I like to imagine that the family realized Renesmee will actually continue to grow up until she dies of old age. And, because she is half vampire, is immune to vampire venom so is incapable of becoming a full vampire. This comes as a sad and shocking realization to the entire family especially Edward and Bella who have to live with the fact that their selfish decisions have had negative consequences and will lead to the death of their only child. A sort of poetic justice to two selfish and irresponsible individuals.
    With such a terrible story, I couldn't accept that both Bella and Edward got everything they wanted without any consequences. It's not a great ending but better than what was given.

    • @msjkramey
      @msjkramey 4 роки тому +9

      Damn... that made me sad

    • @BabyGirlTiny
      @BabyGirlTiny 4 роки тому +11

      This makes way more sense than what Meyer wrote

    • @tiryaclearsong421
      @tiryaclearsong421 4 роки тому +28

      Interestingly enough, she actually spends most of Breaking Dawn book 3 thinking her daughter will be an adult by 7 and dead by 30. It's part of what causes her to change her mind about Jacob. She thinks if her daughter will live an unnaturally short life it should be happy.
      They find out when Alice reappears that vampire hybrid children reach maturity and live to at least their mid 100's later. I always imagined they were actually mortal but slow to age, like the werewolves/shapeshifters.

    • @thegodofalldragons
      @thegodofalldragons 4 роки тому +5

      And then the Volturi come back and kill them!
      Yay! Much rejoicing all around.

    • @stefers8451
      @stefers8451 4 роки тому

      @@thegodofalldragons I love it!

  • @kyanlove8373
    @kyanlove8373 4 роки тому +40

    The battle between a Renaissance fair and Some h&m models wondering where their supposed to be shooting.

  • @yes369
    @yes369 4 роки тому +183

    "Edward's last line to Jacob before the battle ...is the worst thing that has ever been said by anyone, ever." LOL

  • @ocadioan
    @ocadioan 4 роки тому +41

    Something that just struck me is that the ending with Bella letting down her mental block of Edward is supposed to be read as the two seeing eye to eye, but actually only reads as Edward now being able to read his wife's mind forever, while she can't read his. Think about it, if she were to want privacy, Edward would instantly start to question why she no longer wanted him to read her mind, and what she didn't want him to see.

    • @IrisCarterSchafer
      @IrisCarterSchafer 4 роки тому +4

      Especially since he’s so controlling, I’m sure he would throw a huge temper tantrum.

    • @thomasraines1396
      @thomasraines1396 Місяць тому

      That’s insanely messed up.

  • @chiliaukdal7457
    @chiliaukdal7457 4 роки тому +333

    Twilight has that infuriating trope where if everyone would just talk to each other, there would be 0 problems.

    • @beth7935
      @beth7935 4 роки тому +9

      I hate that trope with every fibre of my being!

    • @thomasraines1396
      @thomasraines1396 4 роки тому +6

      That sounds like every CW show ever.

    • @eastlynburkholder3559
      @eastlynburkholder3559 3 роки тому +13

      Soap operas of previous decades had the same problem. If only the characters talked to each other, the whole plot and any subplots and schemes and counter schemes would collapse.

    • @beth7935
      @beth7935 3 роки тому +7

      @@eastlynburkholder3559 Lots of tv shows & films, I reckon, especially American ones- I notice it cos I hate it sooooo much.

    • @Schoolgirl325
      @Schoolgirl325 3 роки тому +7

      Yeah, I really get pissed off by PLOT-DRIVEN writing for fictional characters and relationships, which forces them to blindly, recklessly, and/or selfishly REACT in very terrible and/or stupid ways based on their FEELINGS of anger, fear, distrust, and/insecurities without considering the negative consequences they are creating for both themselves and others by refusing to slow down to COMMUNICATE and THINK.
      Yeah, occasionally people do impulsively and/or recklessly react to other people without thinking of the consequences they are having in real life, too, but when the characters in fiction keep having conflicts because they keep refusing to communicate with each other honestly and make compromises, or think of the consequences before reacting, then it becomes increasingly difficult to relate to the characters or feel any sympathy for them when they keep conflicting because they refuse to slow down to consider the consequences, communicate, listen, compromise, and be considerate, honest, relatable, and mindful human beings.

  • @RealLukeWilson
    @RealLukeWilson 4 роки тому +271

    Even a battle of wits can be high-stakes. Just imagine if Death Note ended with Light and L shrugging it off and being like, “welp, there’s nothing to be done I guess!!” and keep doing their separate things. Yikes.

    • @SennaHawx
      @SennaHawx 3 роки тому +50

      End of Death Note
      L: "Finally! I have the proof how you are Kira!"
      Light: "Yeah, but Supernatural gods of death don't count as sufficient evidence in court."
      L: "Dang it. You're right. See you later then."

    • @saschamayer4050
      @saschamayer4050 3 роки тому +4

      That would be epic!

    • @Knightwolf1994
      @Knightwolf1994 3 роки тому +5

      @@SennaHawx Isn't the Death Note itself sufficient evidence? Like all they have to do is write down a death row inmate's name in the notebook and if they die Light is Kira.

    • @SennaHawx
      @SennaHawx 3 роки тому +10

      @@Knightwolf1994 Could still just be a coincidence. That's the trick with the Supernatural... If you could thoroughly demonstrate and prove it without leaving any reasonable doubt it would be just Natural.
      Writing names on a piece of paper has never killed anyone directly. Even if someone did what you described...the defense could simply claim that it's the Shinigami that is actually doing the killing and that writing the name down does not actually do anything in of itself. Since Shinigami aren't tangidible - or under any obligation to comply to human law - the Supernatural would remain insufficient in a court of law.

    • @seranathenecromancer3470
      @seranathenecromancer3470 3 роки тому +6

      @@Knightwolf1994
      You do have to get your hands on it first, then you have to prove that the book is magical which can’t be done unless Light passes over the ownership, if that can’t be done you need to prove that the names and methods written weren’t a record of events and instead indicate a plan to commit them themselves

  • @Hellraiser2107
    @Hellraiser2107 4 роки тому +172

    Honestly I once read a post on Tumblr (bear with me) that actually sheds an interesting light on the whole saga.
    So Renesmee's whole thing is that, as a half vampiric child, she's so endearing that nobody could possibly resist loving her. Kind of like the way immortal children were described, just less feral, so that power theorized that this was all the effect of... the ovum that would eventually become Renesmee, I guess? I mean the book implied that Jacob's hopeless infatuation with Bella was ever really an infatuation with Bella, but an infatuation with just that ovum that would later become his child bride (yeah. Still ew.). So there's no reason why this wouldn't affect everyone else as well. Bella was never the special one, it was the potential-Renesmee. A being that forced everyone around her to immediately love and abandon all caution for her just by virtue of her mere existence, even before she actually existed.
    As it was said multiple times, if she had any self-awareness, Stephenie Meyer would make one hell of a horror author

    • @mere0
      @mere0 4 роки тому +5

      read the host

    • @celestialrainstorm5335
      @celestialrainstorm5335 4 роки тому +3

      In all honesty I figured that was the context behind the imprinting in any instance, and why Jacob became so increasingly attached to Bella, but never imprinted.

    • @talic-os5899
      @talic-os5899 4 роки тому

      Buy then those effects would disappear once Bella gives birth.

    • @talic-os5899
      @talic-os5899 4 роки тому +4

      @@celestialrainstorm5335 I like when people complete the "oh, I liked you because you were half of renesmee" with "then all you needed was the Edward half"

    • @Hellraiser2107
      @Hellraiser2107 4 роки тому +9

      @@talic-os5899 that's the thing tho. Edward was probably the only one not affected by would-be-Renesmee's magnetism and only fell victim to it once he got close contact with her. He was probably the only character who's obsession with Bella was actually because of Bella. The other Cullens were never as obsessed with Bella as he was. They were kind to her and all, but not to the point the human and werewolf characters were. And after Renesmee's birth, Bella does not interact with any human character except for her dad anymore, so we never get to see how Renesmee's birth affected the attitude of other humans to her. But the focus of the story and attention of pretty much ALL of the characters, including the newly introduced ones, very clearly shifts to Renesmee.

  • @The_Skrongler
    @The_Skrongler 2 роки тому +60

    That bit where Edward refuses to spar with Bella just goes to show how little the author knows about martial arts.
    Sparring with loved ones is actually loads of fun and doesn't feel bad at all!
    It's basically the adult equivalent to kids play fighting.

    • @samreddig8819
      @samreddig8819 2 роки тому +10

      With the added bonus of romantic tension

  • @nonniethis8511
    @nonniethis8511 4 роки тому +906

    Has anyone told him about the Renesme and Jacob book that Meyer’s been talking about writing? He may actually implode.

    • @cocolime6496
      @cocolime6496 4 роки тому +220

      please say sike

    • @codybailey3367
      @codybailey3367 4 роки тому +319

      If it doesn't involve them discovering a way to break the imprinting so they can go and live their own lives rather than be forced together against their will, it's not gonna be good.

    • @jupitermelichios392
      @jupitermelichios392 4 роки тому +144

      I want to live in a world where this book is the reveal that the Quilte have been running an elaborate scam on Carlisle this whole time as part of a ploy to get back land he stole from them and all the grooming and native people are animals subtext is just part of the ruse. And then the book could just be renesme discovering this, and helping them destroy carslile and then buggering off to go to college.
      It won't happen, but I can dream.

    • @tristanhartup4936
      @tristanhartup4936 4 роки тому +42

      Somebody stop her now!

    • @timothymclean
      @timothymclean 4 роки тому +50

      About my highest hope for that book is that there's something hilariously weird about the inevitable half-werewolf/quarter-vampire baby. Or barring that, that Meyer doesn't make a big deal out of the fact that Renesmee is still a child in every meaningful sense of the word or that Jacob has been in creepy imprint-love with her from almost literally the minute she was born.

  • @maikujakufan
    @maikujakufan 4 роки тому +157

    "No one can possibly be that bad at story structure". I used to manage submissions inboxes for literary agents. You have no idea the structural nightmares I have seen.

    • @mirjanbouma
      @mirjanbouma 4 роки тому +20

      The stories you could tell.
      Do tell if you're inclined.

    • @oli_kate
      @oli_kate 4 роки тому +12

      Oh my god yes ikr! My mom runs an independent publishing house (Modjaji Books check it out if you want to) and the stuff people send... There are some very bad writers out there lol. That being said if it makes you happy write! I feel like it's the publisher's job to be like lol this is kinda bad maybe fix it or go away please. Although Stephanie is still responsible for her opinions, the impact of her books and her writing.

    • @annef0x
      @annef0x 4 роки тому +6

      Just leaving a comment here cuz I'm really curious and wanna know if anyone has a story to share.

    • @RoseBaggins
      @RoseBaggins 4 роки тому +2

      Oh man, that sounds bad. As someone who is writing and would like to publish one day, could you please share? I would like to know as much as possible so as to make my work better.

    • @airesbattleblade732
      @airesbattleblade732 4 роки тому +1

      Generic bookmark comment.

  • @lilli-annthomsen674
    @lilli-annthomsen674 3 роки тому +120

    The quote at 10:46 where S. Meyer says "All these years" I cought myself thinking 'What years' because acording to the timeline on the fandom Wiki Edward and Bella met the 17th of January 2005 and fought the Voltury December 31st 2006, so they haven't even known each other two full years at that point. And they are already married and have a kid, who herself already have a future husband/lover.

    • @coffeewolfproductions9113
      @coffeewolfproductions9113 2 роки тому +9

      I think she meant years from her point of view, as in she's been the one waiting to write that scene after years of writing these books.

  • @Gauldame
    @Gauldame 4 роки тому +251

    "it's like reading smut written by your mother"
    *Shower thought moment*
    You know, there's probably a kid out there of a famous female romance novelist who just shuddered and doesn't know why.
    You know if your mom wrote smut successfully, in your teenage years you'd never hear the end of it.

    • @thecouchpotatocom
      @thecouchpotatocom 4 роки тому +19

      My poor child. I didn't know I was going to be a mom when I started writing.

    • @mirjanbouma
      @mirjanbouma 4 роки тому +26

      There's a daughter of a smut writing mom in the comments!

    • @nocturnalizzie
      @nocturnalizzie 4 роки тому +25

      Chandler Bing has entered the chat

    • @RougeSlayer5
      @RougeSlayer5 4 роки тому +3

      @@nocturnalizzie had the same thought

    • @mcaskey358
      @mcaskey358 4 роки тому

      Chandler from Friends...

  • @FinalGirlKell
    @FinalGirlKell 4 роки тому +85

    Watching this review series reminds me just how talented is Meyers is at writing how selfish and terrible people really are, and with some serious editing and writing classes she could legit write the next great modern gothic horror -- yet the irony is she really does think this just nice fantasy romance and I don't know how I feel about it.

  • @jaycievictory8461
    @jaycievictory8461 4 роки тому +22

    Jacob's deterioration is actually really sad. He starts off kind and sweet and just really, really happy.
    He's so frightened in book 2 of having his choices taken away from him and essentially becoming a mindless drone - he says this to Bella before he knows what's going on with the werewolves and his friends. And then that's exactly what happens in book 3 and 4.
    You could even headcanon that his terrible behaviour in book 3 is as a result of being forced into werewolfism and being taken over by all sorts of base impulses, culminating eventually into being enslaved into an eternal relationship he would never have chosen.
    ... Meyer really is extraordinarily good at writing all kinds of horror without being remotely aware of it.

  • @wander1139
    @wander1139 4 роки тому +137

    the worst part of all of this is the literal moment were someone points out that if they don't fight now they would be hunted down one by one when they all went off on there own they literally doomed every one who decided to help them by not fighting and leaving them unprotected

    • @rebellyanmagic6409
      @rebellyanmagic6409 4 роки тому +43

      That they did. The Cullens left all the Volturi heavy hitters alive:
      - Dimitri, who can track every single vampire he's laid eyes on and is the best hunter.
      - Alec and Jane, the incest twins who can cause total sensory deprivation and harrowing pain respectively.
      - Chelsea, who severs relationship bonds (except the bonds of True Love) and brainwashes her targets into being fanatically loyal to the Volturi.
      - Aro, the Volturi head who can read every thought any being as ever had through touch. And who held hands with Edward, the telepath that's being inside the minds of every single vampire the Cullens gathered in their defense. Meaning he knows their thoughts, where they've been hiding, and how to find them.
      The Volturi know everything the Cullens do. And more importantly, they know how to counter them. Meyer has always held Alice up as the one thing stopping the Volturi from outright annihilating the Cullens without the pretext of vampiric law, because of her powers. And now Aro - and the rest of the Volturi - knows that Alice can't See vampires who are around werewolves and hybrids. All they need to do is head to South America and brainwash the only other hybrids in existence, and they're free to pick off everyone one by one without Alice being able to warn them to hide.

    • @thomasraines1396
      @thomasraines1396 4 роки тому +10

      @@rebellyanmagic6409 imagine a small novella where all of the Cullens and their allies are systematically hunted down and executed? Just an extremely dower and depressing story with no happy ending it’s like something out of Dark Souls or Bloodborne.

    • @rebellyanmagic6409
      @rebellyanmagic6409 4 роки тому +7

      @@thomasraines1396 The irony of Meyer claiming that she doesn't like a Hamlet ending, when she's pretty much guaranteed an even worse one.

    • @thomasraines1396
      @thomasraines1396 4 роки тому +3

      @@rebellyanmagic6409 exactly.

  • @10puppyluv
    @10puppyluv 4 роки тому +54

    Dominic's wig collection is getting really impressive

  • @blackmuzicluver35
    @blackmuzicluver35 4 роки тому +67

    I can't unhear "when Jacob hears that his sex baby is gonna be taken away" anymore. I may just have to bleach my eardrums and brain now

  • @cooltiger07
    @cooltiger07 4 роки тому +90

    Twilight: It's not about how old you are, It's about how old you look

    • @alikarol3
      @alikarol3 4 роки тому +5

      Fair, but Bellas concern was that she would mentally *mature* as well whereas Edward is in most ways very much stuck at 17 mentally (VERY apparent after Midnight Sun). I always wanted Bella to wait to turn into a vampire, but then i understood that a 25 year old and a 17 year old (vampire or not, he's frozen) are very different

    • @tristanhartup4936
      @tristanhartup4936 9 місяців тому

      Dear God, Stephanie Meyer should be arrested

  • @glenmurie
    @glenmurie 4 роки тому +386

    From the picture of you, Dominic, I think you should have called this one "Breaking Down..." :)

  • @toonblade4231
    @toonblade4231 4 роки тому +1555

    "Renesmee."
    Upon hearing that name, it hit me. All the casual racism and toxicity aside, Meyer isn't just white, she is _white._

    • @ShadeSlayer1911
      @ShadeSlayer1911 4 роки тому +35

      I don't get it. Can you explain?

    • @Ted_Curtis
      @Ted_Curtis 4 роки тому +186

      @@ShadeSlayer1911 It's a running joke that some types of parents (almost always white) have a habit of naming their kids ridiculous, flowery names to make them more unique. If you want some examples, take a look at this picture of some real names a couple were debating to name their child: 4.bp.blogspot.com/-PfB-r3f7ejk/TyWiVMFaejI/AAAAAAAAC78/wu32a70AeXI/s1600/015.JPG

    • @adrianomaly1760
      @adrianomaly1760 4 роки тому +148

      It really is one of them *names* isn’t it

    • @gracekim1998
      @gracekim1998 4 роки тому +29

      Is it because the name is floury WHITE?

    • @spoofsmcjenkins2807
      @spoofsmcjenkins2807 4 роки тому +133

      Right? Braxton or Courtney spelled 'Cortneigh' white. The worst kind. It breeds Karen's.

  • @rgnm78
    @rgnm78 4 роки тому +124

    Dom’s reaction is so relatable here. I read the Twilight books when I was 14 and I couldn’t put into words why it made me so angry. But by the time the book was ending and it was certain that JACOB would end up with THE SIX YEAR OLD I was sO pissed. Jacob was my fav character and I ended up hating him. Not to mention that it all felt like a waste of time. Bella LOST NOTHING. Her daughter stays with her family and earns a boyfriend by the time she’s born. The Volturi do nothing. I thought at least she would have say goodbye to Charlie but Bella didnt even need to move from forks???
    The whole saga screameddd ‘sacrifice for love’ over and over but she sacrificed nothing and earned superpowers and a super family . What a pointless waste of time..

    • @qualitystreet9636
      @qualitystreet9636 4 роки тому +12

      I read the books at a young age and my main problem with the ending was that. No consequences, no sacrifice.

    • @Here_is_Waldo
      @Here_is_Waldo 4 роки тому +12

      The thing is, one of Jacob's great fears was losing his free will by being forced to become a werewolf. At the end, he was forced to love this kid against his will because of werewolf instincts, and give up any hope of the life he wanted to become basically this kid's pet. I think his story is very tragic if you look at it in a different light.

    • @qualitystreet9636
      @qualitystreet9636 4 роки тому +10

      I agree that seen from this perspective, Jacob's ending is tragic. But Bella's? At least if she was conflicted about the fact that her happiness with the good vampires was at the cost of other vampires killing innocents... Well I guess that the author didn't want her characters to challenge the way of life of traditional vampires. It would have taken the story very far from being a love story.

    • @TheDawnofVanlife
      @TheDawnofVanlife 4 роки тому +2

      Boom, this! I litterally got rid of the entire book series after throwing Breaking Dawn against the wall. I forgave a lot of weaknesses in the series then it was just too much and a waste of hours spent reading.

  • @jikookmints
    @jikookmints 4 роки тому +93

    Honestly I remember people being mad at how the final fight in the movie ended up being a vision and i was just sitting there thinking AT LEAST IT HAD SOMETHING INTERESTING AND EXCITING

    • @annef0x
      @annef0x 4 роки тому +15

      Yeah man, the book just gives you a big ass pile of nothing

    • @herefortheshrimp1469
      @herefortheshrimp1469 4 роки тому +14

      Thank you! I actually thought that was a brilliant choice considering since we got jack shit in the novel. I wanted a fight!

    • @nocturnalizzie
      @nocturnalizzie 4 роки тому +10

      I was mostly mad about that happening in the movie because ALICE CAN'T SEE THE WOLVES. Her visions go dark when the wolves get involved (hence the giant problem at the end of the second book) so she shouldn't have been able to see how that fight would go! Argh!

  • @jaginaiaelectrizs6341
    @jaginaiaelectrizs6341 4 роки тому +96

    I think Meyer included the bit about the wolves technically being shapeshifters and not _really_ being true werewolves.. to try and justify the initially extremely negative responses the Cullens had to learning that Bella was friends with Werewolves. Kinda Like "we were wrong to have judged your friends so harshly so quickly, we're sorry, but if you had met some REAL werewolves you would understand where we were coming from!"

  • @thomasraines1396
    @thomasraines1396 4 роки тому +119

    The Wilhelm scream after Bella’s “vampire mummy punch” was hilarious.

  • @pucaboo1591
    @pucaboo1591 4 роки тому +451

    You gotta do Midnight Sun Dom. The people demand it!

    • @coywarrior71
      @coywarrior71 4 роки тому +20

      No we don't!!!!

    • @theoneandonlymichaelmccormick
      @theoneandonlymichaelmccormick 4 роки тому +31

      Give him a break. He can save that for some other time. That and the Fifty Shades of Grey version of Midnight Sun.

    • @tiryaclearsong421
      @tiryaclearsong421 4 роки тому +10

      @@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick I don't care if he ever reviews Grey. I thought the ending to Folding Ideas's Fifty Shades video essays covered it well.

    • @ZephWraen
      @ZephWraen 4 роки тому +13

      He's already dead! I just feel bad for Dom at this point lol

    • @theoneandonlymichaelmccormick
      @theoneandonlymichaelmccormick 4 роки тому +6

      @@tiryaclearsong421 Well, I don’t care if he ever reviews Midnight Sun. So we’re at an impasse.

  • @mcvenne8935
    @mcvenne8935 Рік тому +5

    The Volturi reennactment was probably the single best and funniest thing I've seen in my entire life. Thank you!

  • @morgangobin9985
    @morgangobin9985 4 роки тому +152

    “I know the different Volturi have names, but I defy you to give a shit which is which once you take Michael Sheen out of the equation.”
    *Me, former Twilight fan* : I....I mean, ok. Fair point.
    Still can’t wait for a LiA of this series, Dom.

    • @strawberrysoulforever8336
      @strawberrysoulforever8336 3 роки тому +2

      I love that Jacob complains about all the other vampires with this same problem, saying he needs an index to keep them all straight. Cue "see this page for the index he wanted".

    • @morgangobin9985
      @morgangobin9985 3 роки тому +1

      @@strawberrysoulforever8336 Sad to say I haven’t read the books in years but I could probably still name most of the characters if I was forced to... My brain retains the stupidest information sometimes. 😅

  • @yoonmikim5663
    @yoonmikim5663 4 роки тому +189

    His name is Dom, but sometimes I feel like he's a masochist....

    • @Thraim.
      @Thraim. 4 роки тому +1

      His name actually fits. Hear me out:
      This book series is torture and he hates every second of it. If he were a masochist he would actually enjoy it on some level.

    • @yoonmikim5663
      @yoonmikim5663 4 роки тому +1

      @@Thraim. It's torture, but it's consensual torture. ;) That's why I said sometimes. It's not just this series, it's the other books/movies he's done as well.

  • @spookymia8135
    @spookymia8135 4 роки тому +46

    "It almost feels like reading smut written by your mother"
    I resent that, my mother would write excellent smut.

  • @Torlik11
    @Torlik11 4 роки тому +126

    Me watching the beginning of the episode:
    "Dom was just looking for an excuse to show all his costumes at once, did he?"

  • @hanaortiz7596
    @hanaortiz7596 4 роки тому +165

    renesmee should've been called charlisle. no i don't take constructive criticism

    • @bitnewt
      @bitnewt 4 роки тому +24

      You shouldn't take constructive criticism, there is no way to criticise or improve on the name "Charlisle".

    • @violetsnotroses3640
      @violetsnotroses3640 4 роки тому +15

      Charlisle is a monumentally better name. Also, the Hot & Bothered podcast has been using it as a ship name for Charlie/Carlisle since they started their Twilight in Quarantine series, where they read the books chapter by chapter and give the characters advice. Because Charlie clearly has a thing for Carlisle.

    • @jupitermelichios392
      @jupitermelichios392 4 роки тому +2

      I laughed way too hard at that

    • @ThornheartCat
      @ThornheartCat 4 роки тому +18

      Her middle name is Carlie, from CARlisle and CharLIE. I don't know why it's not just her first name since it's at least an ACTUAL NAME!

    • @Altorin
      @Altorin 4 роки тому +3

      "Its pronounced Carlyle"
      "Then why isnt it spelled that way? Your parents are cruel"

  • @alyssaj8779
    @alyssaj8779 4 роки тому +72

    "I couldn't let them go through with the battle, because if I did 90% of everyone would die" I would like to see it

    • @thomasraines1396
      @thomasraines1396 3 роки тому +18

      And that “90%” would be comprised of the red shirt nobodies that she just introduced and the bad guys so no one we (or at least meant to) care about would die.

    • @petrfedor1851
      @petrfedor1851 Рік тому +1

      With how much she builded Romeo & Juliet themes it's quite obvious how it should have ended.

  • @theebronks
    @theebronks 4 роки тому +171

    I really hope you'll cover The Host by Stephenie Meyer, it's simultaneously her best and worst book. The film adaptation sure does exist as a movie that was made.

    • @jaycievictory8461
      @jaycievictory8461 4 роки тому +14

      I can't help but really like that book yet be really unsettled by it.

    • @pikapower_kirby
      @pikapower_kirby 4 роки тому +15

      Found out about it through Amanda the Jedi and it's...something. A horrific sort of something, but it's something.

    • @ninawth
      @ninawth 4 роки тому +8

      I haven't read the book, but that second sentence really cracked me up.

    • @bismutfan2211
      @bismutfan2211 4 роки тому +1

      I genuinely liked the Chemist

    • @jaycievictory8461
      @jaycievictory8461 4 роки тому +10

      @@bismutfan2211 I quite liked it, too. Her writing had definitely improved. She's great at ideas/concepts, but think she still has a bit of an issue with plotting. Also, I found the twin brother way more interesting than the "perfect" lead. I also though the protagonist had more interesting chemistry with the bro. Kept hoping they would hook up instead and she realised she loved other guy like a brother. Bit of a Dawson/Joey/Pacey situation 😅

  • @arklestudios
    @arklestudios 4 роки тому +53

    The whole "vampires get a secondary, X-Men style power that reflects their personality" thing is about the only interesting idea Meyer came up. I'd love to see what a good, or heck, even COMPETENT writer could do with that.

    • @jupitermelichios392
      @jupitermelichios392 4 роки тому +6

      tbh that's true of a lot of her vampire lore, there's actually quite a lot of really cool vampire specific worldbuilding, just in service of a garbage plot

    • @FuugaNatsu
      @FuugaNatsu 4 роки тому

      @Laura Martin-Falla Would be much harder to regulate, though. I can totally see someone doing essentially a homebrew like that based on WoD, but I imagine it'd take a pretty experienced GM to make sure everything added up with the characters personalities and keeping every power balanced. Probably would have to sit down with each individual player and plan out how the ability would work, along with strengths and limitations ahead of the campaign.

    • @loganbigmo
      @loganbigmo 4 роки тому +2

      Exactly! Not to mention that there are _humans_ with superpowers! Alice was a psychic, Bella is a mental shield, Charlie has a partial mental shield. And so upon becoming vampires, their human superpowers get amplified. And then of course regular people like Edward, Aro, Jasper who just have intuitive personality traits as human receive superpowers based on those traits as vampires.

  • @godabandonedthistimeline
    @godabandonedthistimeline 2 роки тому +24

    What makes me angry about the name Renesmee is that there was an amazing name available which also had emotional significance to one of the characters.
    That name is Elizabeth. It was the name of Edward's mother, the woman who asked Carlisle to save her son's life.
    It wouldn't make the book perfect but it would be an actually sweet moment between the main couple.

  • @bethanymcmurtrey9542
    @bethanymcmurtrey9542 4 роки тому +166

    In the words of Melissa Rauch's Harley Quinn: Well, that was a big ass bucket of nothing!

  • @c-puff
    @c-puff 4 роки тому +46

    I love how the tribe being shapeshifters and not really werewolves literally undercuts the entire animosity with the Cullens since the book kept insisting that it wasn't the tribe specifically that hated vampires... but that it was WREWOLVES who as a species had the role of protecting people from vampires. Literally all the nonsense between the tribe and the Cullens was pointless and had no meaning.

    • @skooter910
      @skooter910 4 роки тому +4

      It had the meaning of making the Cullens seem like huge, racist assholes. People who are astonishingly white calling a bunch of poc 'dogs' and 'animals' and 'mutts' is never a good look, but losing the justification of a species rivalry or whatever makes it SO MUCH WORSE.

    • @thomasraines1396
      @thomasraines1396 3 роки тому

      It’s like the twist from the new God of War (the main villain initially attacks Kratos out of a case of mistaken identity) but written by a complete hack.

  • @patrickomeara3700
    @patrickomeara3700 4 роки тому +76

    Every time Dom says “Renesmee” you can hear the contempt lmao

  • @ZoanBlade90
    @ZoanBlade90 4 роки тому +72

    I'll give the movie this: It *gave* us a fight scene at the end. It screwed us, but it's more than the book gave us.

    • @eamonndeane587
      @eamonndeane587 4 роки тому +15

      That and Michael Sheen's Crazy Vampire Laugh....
      That was Priceless...

    • @catsbooksandaxes7631
      @catsbooksandaxes7631 4 роки тому +10

      I was actually thrilled they had the fight vision in the movie. It will forever be a rare example of a movie being better than the book.
      The non-climax of the book had me (literally) throw the book at the wall. I slogged through the books, rolling my eyes at all sorts of scenes. But that? Broke me. Hundreds of pages of "the Volturi are mad, and are going to kill us 😱😱" to be met with "Oops. Our bad. Byeee!"!?!?
      *Goes sits in a corner, breathing into a paper bag to cool down.*

    • @sarahnour5561
      @sarahnour5561 4 роки тому +5

      @@eamonndeane587 Michael Sheen was a delight to watch, unlike the rest of the cast.

    • @LordofFullmetal
      @LordofFullmetal 4 роки тому +1

      I was very pleased with that. Especially when I straight up thought they had MURDERED Carlisle and Jasper. I was kinda disappointed when it cut out and I went "oh yeah, that's not real".

    • @ZoanBlade90
      @ZoanBlade90 4 роки тому +1

      @@LordofFullmetal I heard about how some groups actually stand and boo the movie. They enjoyed the fight scene, and felt robbed. I certainly did.

  • @MRuby-qb9bd
    @MRuby-qb9bd 4 роки тому +58

    You unironically look good in that purple top as Alice.

  • @Strannik01
    @Strannik01 4 роки тому +37

    I do kind of love that Dom went from "I'm not sure I can criticize it because I feel bad for dismissing it for sexist reasons" to "whatever, fuck this series."
    The series can be maligned unfairly and still be bad for other reasons. Dom would have saved himself so much mental gymnastics by embracing that simple notion.

  • @NatilaTekila
    @NatilaTekila 4 роки тому +101

    I was today years old when I realized the symbolism of the cover,
    Also, the whole subplot of Alice and Jasper running off went right over my head as a teenager. During the whole read, I never understood or registered that Alice had supposedly abandoned them. It was so obvious to me that she was getting help. But maybe I had already consumed so much bad writing.

    • @billuraral1870
      @billuraral1870 4 роки тому +24

      Man, they really trust one other so much during crisis, those Cullens. They were so ready to believe Jasper and Alice just ditched them

  • @ixious
    @ixious 4 роки тому +57

    "sex baby" was the point where I had to stop watching, take a long walk, and collect my thoughts....God, this book series was something seriously special.

  • @MegaKnight2012
    @MegaKnight2012 4 роки тому +22

    Maybe the Volturi were inspired by a Mormon interpretation of the Vatican and that's why the message is, "We can't get rid of them so we just have to survive them."