Qualities Of A Good Muslim Spouse Both Men And Women | Let's Talk Marriage And Polygamy

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  • Опубліковано 10 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 41

  • @hijrahemiraat2990
    @hijrahemiraat2990  3 місяці тому +2

    Asalam Alaikum
    I forgot to mention cooking for women and for the men to also look good for their wives.
    Good husband
    1. His belief should be in tact, and have good manners ,if he is controlling and only talks about what he wants and asks you nothing about you and tells you nothing about what he will do for you as a husband then he should be investigated and rethought.
    2. He should be kind and reasonable and not moody and grumpy. He shouldn't be lazy or making excuses why he can't fill obligations and give you rights.
    3. He should be affectionate and not quarrelsome, always wanting to argue with you for a reason or for no reason nor threaten with divorce as a disciplinary measure.
    4. He shouldn't hold back intimacy in an attempt to control the wife or punish her especially if she haven't been uncooperative or disrespectful to him.
    5. He should learn how to touch and please his wife to create love between them
    6. He should spend on you from what he is able and not be in the habit of taking your wealth either by force, trickery, or otherwise.
    7. He should help you in your affairs and show a healthy level of jealousy and concern for your well being.
    8. He shouldn't be suspicious or in the habit of accusing you of doing things that you would never think of doing.
    9. He shouldn't be harsh or mean or stingy with his wife, and make her comfortable in her home so that she will make him comfortable when he comes home.
    10. He should never be verbally mentally or emotionally abusive in the many ways that this abuse exists and it's varying occurrences.
    11. He should be someone who teaches his wife with patience or facilitates some means of learning for her if she is not self motivated to learn.
    Good Women
    1. She should be a woman who is respectful, patient, reasonable, mature, and responsible with good religion and feminine characteristics.
    2. If she was raised well then she will be truthful and a wonderful mother who teaches the children and is example for them.
    3. She should be aware of the world to some degree so that she can advise her husband when he needs advice and help at certain times
    4. She should show her strength to be able to step up to assist and support her husband if the man has fallen on hard times, becomes weak etc and needs her assistance but show her soft side and vulnerability when he is able to fully take care of the family and household
    5. She should have shame and not someone who is loud, rude, ordeceitful, to her family, inlaws, or husband.
    6. She should not be a manipulator or accompany bad women who will corrupt her mind and influence her negatively.
    7. She should not stress her husband by comparing her life to what others have and demanding that he provide more than what Allah has given him the ability to provide
    8. She should never use his secrets he confided in her against him when she is angry, or weaponize his weaknesses against him.
    9. She should not be spoiled, entitled or difficult to please because if she is then the man will never be appreciated and she will always accuse the man of being stingy if he doesn't give her what she wants when she asks
    10. She should not be someone who is pessimistic , negative, or weak minded and easily manipulated by outsiders who might not want good for the family.
    11. She should preserve her husband's wealth and not spend his money carelessly or recklessly.
    12. She should make herself look beautiful for him and learn skills of enticement, intimacy and flattery to keep her husband's attention and come to him if he calls her to the bed.
    Polygamy Advice
    Every man should be fare between wives and never instigate any fights between the women. He should set boundaries of respect or seperate them with no contact to keep the peace. Spend the nights between them evenly and do whatever he wants during the days because they belong to him. Never let one wife know that the other is more beloved to you because this causes insecurities and problems.
    The man should be an example for his wives and live with them in their crookedness.

  • @KhalilAbdullah88
    @KhalilAbdullah88 3 місяці тому +1

    Alhamdulillah. I've been anticipating this video. Jazakillaahu khair

  • @wale4862
    @wale4862 3 місяці тому +4

    Also boundaries with interference of inlaws and friends in the marriage

  • @Talibpitts5229
    @Talibpitts5229 3 місяці тому

    Salam Alaykum, alhamdulillah, sis do you know of any wholesale/ book vendors where you are that you can refer? I’m looking to start a book store in our community inshaAllah

    • @hijrahemiraat2990
      @hijrahemiraat2990  3 місяці тому

      @@Talibpitts5229 Wa alaikum salam wa Rahmatullahi wa barakatu.
      I advise with visiting the Sharjah book fair where all the book press companies come to vend as well as the established Bookstores who come to sell their books retail and get wholesale accounts.
      It is in October I believe. I actually have a video on the channel where I covered the event.
      And then also content Authentic Statements in Philadelphia they wholesale books because they have a team that translates the books from Arabic into English and he does distribution all over.

  • @wale4862
    @wale4862 3 місяці тому +1

    Very beneficial
    But what of cooking ???
    Might sound trivial, but this is a concern for many men and it affects both the finances and health of the family.

    • @hijrahemiraat2990
      @hijrahemiraat2990  3 місяці тому +1

      @@wale4862 Yes thanks for mentioning it. I forgot because many women do know how to cook but this is important as well .
      That's why I said please leave comments and add to the list.
      I will add men also looking good for their wives.

    • @wale4862
      @wale4862 3 місяці тому +1

      @@hijrahemiraat2990
      I actually saw one of your clips on my other favorite channel Make hijrah (all credits to Hijrah Emirati)
      Allahumo Barik

    • @hijrahemiraat2990
      @hijrahemiraat2990  3 місяці тому

      @@wale4862 which video was it?

    • @hijrahemiraat2990
      @hijrahemiraat2990  3 місяці тому +1

      @@wale4862 Yes the wife of the channel is in my Hijrah Group Masha Allah

    • @wale4862
      @wale4862 3 місяці тому +1

      @@hijrahemiraat2990
      "Let's Talk Integration in the UAE"
      This one

  • @Talibpitts5229
    @Talibpitts5229 3 місяці тому

    And one more question, I came across an app called Stake which says it’s a way to invest in properties in Dubai etc are you familiar with them? Jazakullah Khayran

    • @hijrahemiraat2990
      @hijrahemiraat2990  3 місяці тому

      @@Talibpitts5229 They are interest based. I looked into it also and in the comments section of their Instagram page some Muslims were asking if they were halal and the owner said that they are not Halal but are working on more Halal based investing methods. So no don't do it.

    • @Talibpitts5229
      @Talibpitts5229 3 місяці тому +1

      @@hijrahemiraat2990 Jazakullah khayran

  • @salafee337
    @salafee337 3 місяці тому +1

    One advice for men
    Never accept a condition about monogamy, even if you think you will never do it. [Even if you think she is DA one you always dreamed of. Things change over time.]
    You may wake up 15 years later in your life and realize things, but too late, you got 5 kids and a wife who threatens to leave you if you decide to go forward with another marriage. Only blame yourself for accepting this monogamy condition.
    There are tons of women to marry, but not many men are able or ready to get married.
    Another one
    It is easier to take women from outside Western countries. In general, it's less expensive in the long run and makes your hijrah easier if you were intelligent enough to take a wife from a muslim country.

    • @hijrahemiraat2990
      @hijrahemiraat2990  3 місяці тому +1

      @@salafee337 I agree with you regarding not agreeing to that contract of not taking another wife. It's foolish in my opinion. Because no one knows what the future holds and how you will change. I just mentioned it because I read the ruling regarding the permissibility of it. But if a man agrees then it's not smart.

    • @salafee337
      @salafee337 3 місяці тому

      @hijrahemiraat2990 It is a typical mistake of young and inexperienced men. They haven't figured out the first marriage yet, so why bother thinking about a second one. Then reality hits in the face.

  • @Habib-lo7mf
    @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

    No, you made a mistake. The Messenger didn't mention a deficiency in her religion only, he also mention a deficiency in her intellect also. And he mentioned an example for that by saying two female witnesses represent a male witness. But this doesn't mean she should be treated unkindly.
    رسول الله ﷺ: ما رأيت من ناقصات عقل ودين أغلب للب الرجل الحازم من إحداكن فقيل: يا رسول الله، ما نقصان عقلها؟ قال: أليست شهادة المرأتين بشهادة رجل؟ قيل: يا رسول الله، ما نقصان دينها؟ قال: أ ليست إذا حاضت لم تصل ولم تصم.

    • @hijrahemiraat2990
      @hijrahemiraat2990  3 місяці тому +2

      Again the defect is not that she is stupid and less intelligent rather it is forgetfulness.
      You hate women. And that's clear and you are exactly like the men tbat I am describing. I'm sure marriage life with you is like hell.
      If you believe that the intellect in the way that you have explained.it is the deficiency instead of understanding it the way it was stated by the messenger of Allah then you are indeed sick.
      If the intellect was the deficiency the way you interpret it to be then there would have been no women scholars teaching the Sahaba or the Tabi'een or scholarly women up unto this day.
      But ofcourse a man who hates women and sees them as beneath him only understands the religion in a twisted way instead of actually taking the explanation of the Ulema past and present regarding the issue of what was meant by the deficiency in the woman's religion.
      It's the menses and forgetfulness sir.
      Ayesha radiyalliahhu Anha was the wife of Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi wa Salam and from the greatest scholars of her time and she gave that explanation. But then you say that I made a mistake and bring another narration to say I am wrong.
      Seems you are the ignorant one and no fiqh in religion and actually have characteristics of someone who is not Salafi and an extremist.
      Weird behavior just as many like you. I feel sorry for any women that is your wife or will be your wife.

    • @Habib-lo7mf
      @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому +1

      Correcting you now has meant that one hates women. Why would I?! A'udhubil Laah.
      My mother is a woman, I have beloving sisters, I have grand mothers, daughters, etc.
      You are the one to correct your remaining western mentality and thoughts gotten from your past marital lives.

    • @Habib-lo7mf
      @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

      ​@@hijrahemiraat2990
      Is forgetfulness not a deficiency? You are just shooting yourself on the legs!!
      I gave you the explanation of Sheikh' Ibn Baaz.
      This is even one of the reasons why a woman is not allowed to head a general affairs.Because of the great errors, miscalculations, etc she might carry. The Messenger said:
      "لن يفلح قوم ولوا أمرهم امرأة"
      But this doesn't mean she is not sensible, intellectual, etc but there is deficiency in all that due to where they were created from, from bent side limb of the man. So she is bent emotionally, intellectually, physically, etc. Do you wanna compare women abilities in these with the man. That's why a woman can not become a Waliyy, Qaadiyy, Haakim, head of the family, etc but she can be a teacher, scholar, as you mentioned, teaching especially females like her.
      I'm gonna abuse you even if you do. But your ways show how you would be relating to any husband you have.

    • @Habib-lo7mf
      @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

      ... bent rib (not limb) ...

  • @Habib-lo7mf
    @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

    You tried in your explanations. Baarọka Llọọhu Feeh wa Feek. But try and amend your errors.

  • @Habib-lo7mf
    @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

    Dear sister, you don't need to be soft and loose when talking on media or relating with men. I'm a Salafiyy by Allāh's grace and we know Salafiyyaat (female salafis) from the time of the Sahaabah. Being a Salafiyyah shouldn't mean one has to be overconfident. The advice is that don't be too over confident of yourself. This is one of the mentality of the feminism the US is spreading all around the world.

    • @hijrahemiraat2990
      @hijrahemiraat2990  3 місяці тому +1

      Confidence is good and every person has their characteristics. Strength is good and everyone has their characteristics.
      Again I obviously make you uncomfortable. So you shouldn't watch my videos. I'm a confident assertive person. If you actually read the qualities and characteristics of Ayesha radiyalliahhu anha and WOMEN of the Salaf then they were definately confident and assertive which is what womanhood produces.
      The REAL WOMAN is strong and possesses similar characteristics of the men when it comes to being clear and straight forward in speech, honest, integral, certain, and fighting against falsehood and establishing the truth. But she is soft and accommodating to her man and lowers her wing of humility to him when needed. She does not have the same energy towards her husband when it comes to home life but she has every right to correct him with all respect and firmness if he violates her or the religion.
      All of these characteristics I've mentioned takes confidence and assertiveness. Not this false sense of " humbleness" and " religiosity" that you think religious women should have.
      Every Arab Salafiyya that I have met are very strong and assertive and confident because Islam gives the woman honor and protects her from men who want to push her down and make her beneath him.
      You obviously are not used to Salafiy women with strength but only those poor sisters who don't know that their muslim husband shouldn't be a dictator and her second diety as many sick brothers want to be obeyed as and have control over her like he is her diety.
      Sick people. I must have really ruffled your feathers in the video.
      Also by the way, I get lots of proposals by healthy in the mind Salafi men from the West and the Arab. So you should evaluate yourself and leave me alone.

    • @Habib-lo7mf
      @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

      Simple thing! Who is saying you shouldn't be confident or you become a slave for your husband. Simple thing!
      "Don't be over confident of yourself and arrogant"!
      Sincerely, arrogance and over confidence of most west women show in your words. That's just it.

    • @Habib-lo7mf
      @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

      You are just full of Dhunuun/unfound assumptions. Some of the things you just mentioned about me are nothing but just Dhunuun from you.
      "وإن الظن لا يغني من الحق شيئا."
      "And definitely, Dhonn doesn't lead to anything from the truth."
      You said different men propose to you. Yes, what do you expect? You've made yourself public on social media and the world in general, claiming to be advicing people, surely DIFFERENT KINDS of people will propose to you. What will someone expect before!

  • @Habib-lo7mf
    @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

    Is that kind of contract and agreement allowed in marriage?! Having an agreement of not marrying more than her! That is not Islāmic. A woman requesting for that kind of contract needs to work on her understanding of Islām. According to the scholars, At-Taha'ddud is something highly encouraged in Islām according to many Ahaadiith and the Qur-ān. You don't have an agreement of making what is highly encouraged by the Messenger haraam for your husband. That can mean the woman has a detest for Allāh's revelation which might the lead Kufru, wal I'yaadhu biLLaah. The women has to be careful when it comes to Taha'ddud. The jealousy shouldn't get to a stage of detesting Allāh's legislation and making Haram what is encouraged for her husband.

    • @Habib-lo7mf
      @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

      If he has the capability.

    • @hijrahemiraat2990
      @hijrahemiraat2990  3 місяці тому

      Yes there is fatwa to allow this.

    • @Habib-lo7mf
      @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

      And backed by evidence? Where is it?

  • @Habib-lo7mf
    @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

    Yes, I noticed. I noticed you were spoiled before going to marriage. And I believe you should learn from past marriage.
    You were so harsh and abusive when talking about the qualities of a good husband but linient when talking about the ones of a good woman. Take note of that.

    • @hijrahemiraat2990
      @hijrahemiraat2990  3 місяці тому

      False. And you must be the dictator grumpy type. Lol.
      I was not spoiled in marriage. However you are like the men I was speaking about in the beginning and probably have the bad characteristics that I expressed in the video.
      Both of my ex husbands were head over heels for me. And didn't want me to leave. I left them both after being the best wife they ever had. I got married so I could learn and grow which I did. Lol.
      I was equally balanced in giving advice about the woman and actually I believe you didn't watch the entire video but you stopped at the qualities of the men.
      If you had indeed watched the entire video you would have heard that I mentioned many things that the woman must do that is very uncommon for sisters nowadays and they are actually against doing.
      Don't be so negative and miserable brother.
      Here is the list of what a good wife does taken from experience because I am that wife with the good qualities which is why I can list the characteristics in the first place.
      1. She should be a woman who is respectful, patient, reasonable, mature, and responsible with good religion and feminine characteristics.
      2.If she was raised well then she will be truthful and a wonderful mother who teaches the children and is example for them.
      3.She should be aware of the world to some degree so that she can advise her husband when he needs advice and help at certain times
      4. She should show her strength to be able to step up to assist and support her husband if the man has fallen on hard times, becomes weak etc and needs her assistance but show her soft side and vulnerability when he is able to fully take care of the family and household
      5. She should have shame and not someone who is loud, rude, ordeceitful, to her family, inlaws, or husband.
      6. She should not be a manipulator or accompany bad women who will corrupt her mind and influence her negatively.
      7. She should not stress her husband by comparing her life to what others have and demanding that he provide more than what Allah has given him the ability to provide
      8. She should never use his secrets he confided in her against him when she is angry, or weaponize his weaknesses against him.
      9. She should not be spoiled, entitled or difficult to please because if she is then the man will never be appreciated and she will always accuse the man of being stingy if he doesn't give her what she wants when she asks
      10. She should not be someone who is pessimistic , negative, or weak minded and easily manipulated by outsiders who might not want good for the family.
      11. She should preserve her husband's wealth and not spend his money carelessly or recklessly.
      12. She should make herself look beautiful for him and learn skills of enticement, intimacy and flattery to keep her husband's attention and come to him if he calls her to the bed.

    • @Habib-lo7mf
      @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

      ​@@hijrahemiraat2990
      You said it yourself you were spoiled. The spoilage impactet and reflected in your marriage, how you would be asking you ex-husband what he wasn't capable of. You said this yourself, did I put it in your mouth.
      Secondly, I was giving you golden advice, advice a beloved brother would give to his beloved sister. Be careful and amend where you might be having errors in your past marital experiences. Or else, you might be changing husbands every now and then. Do you think it's a good thing/good act changing husbands or wives from time to time?! People will tell you "you need to check yourself very well, is it all the men that are not good?!" Just be sincere with yourself, that's is it. Or else, responsibile men will be running away from you with the fear of you divorcing them later in the future and that might affect you, sister. It even later leads some sisters to later practicing fornication. Be careful sister. I'm giving you these advice because you are a Muslimah and salafi sister, and quite an Aa'limah. A woman is not complete without having a husband.

    • @Habib-lo7mf
      @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

      And you should also limit revealing your personal past marital experience on social media. That's not maturity. Even if you were cheated, I can't accept that from you yet because I've not listened to the side of your past husbands, even if it were as you claimed, you already divorced them, all that is already gone, move on with your new life and plan to amend things in the future with your possible husband. There are crazy and brutal men, for sure, the way there are mad and evil women also. May Allāh make us all pious righteous spouses.
      What was learnt from the Salafs is that they wouldn't be chewing the defects of their ex-spouses any how.
      You mentioning those things about your past marital lives means you are really painted and regretting for what you did, so you need you tell the media for them to feel your pain.

    • @Habib-lo7mf
      @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

      ... PAINED ...

    • @Habib-lo7mf
      @Habib-lo7mf 3 місяці тому

      I'm not as you described me, AlhamdulilLaah.
      Secondly, normal, what do you think, a normal and mature man will not allow divorce like that even if you weren't a good wife, especially when there are children between you two. Most women want and think of their personal short, immediate and present benefit even in the expense of their lasting future benefit but most men think of future benefit even in the expense of the short present benefit.
      By Allāh, I washed all the videos, I even listened to some portions again and again. I didn't you didn't mention the qualities of a good woman, did I say so? Let me don't say you are lieing against me. All what I said was that you were so abusive and aggressive when talking about men but linient towards the women.
      What you said is incorrect, sister. One is able to list the characteristics of a good woman or man doesn't make him/her a good husband or wife. Those your former husbands you always describe to be bad people will also be able to list the qualities of good husbands. But do you accept them to be good husbands. You said it in one of your videos and this also about your ex-husband that it's just about quotes, books, library without practicing all that.