The Hidden Dangers of Journaling
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- Опубліковано 2 тра 2024
- Ryder talks about the hidden dangers of journaling and shares some tips on how we can keep our notebooks from becoming an inventory of sorrows.
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CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
00:47 The benefits of journaling
04:01 Tip 1
04:42 Tip 2
06:09 Tip 3 - Розваги
"A journal isn't so much a reflection of your life as it is a reflection of your focus"- actually went and wrote this down in my commonplace. Thanks for these really thoughtful insights!
I have no idea why this doesn’t have any replies.
I like how you said balanced journaling. I’ve learned I need to avoid toxic positivity too. I used to only try to write the positive things in my life in my journal, and when I look back now, it’s not an accurate depiction of what I was feeling at the time. I love the idea of balanced journaling, and the reminder to write the positives too.
Yes, excellent point!
Such a good point!!
Yes!! I tend to do that too. Then your journal ends up being like an Instagram feed where you only see the curated aspects that people want to highlight. There may be accuracy in what happened but it doesn’t tell the whole story.
You're so right. On the other hand, it not being accurate upon review isn't necessarily a bad thing, if it helped you in the moment of writing.
i journal every day and i write down whatever happened in the day or whatever interesting thoughts i had. i could go from a super philosophical thought about the nature of friendship to eating a yummy burger for lunch to almost failing an exam
With much due respect, I have journaled for decades. I wrote down the negative things in my life to get them off my mind. It helped greatly. As I read back all my journals last year, the life lessons I learned from them were priceless... And all that negativity? Wasn't really negative at all. It was just life. Peace. 🙂
Of course. I definitely believe in making sure we don't ignore any of the negativity, but offer that many might be at risk of focusing entirely on it while overlooking some of the other stuff that's happening
For my it was rather a method of - well - documenting my thoughts. It helped me detect the thoughtpatterns much better and avoid them.
For me unfortunately in my darkest times, my writing became obsessive, toxic and unhelpful, so it definitely is a risk for me. However, writing also helps a lot when I do it honestly and non-obsessively.
I was the opposite. For a long time in my life, I only wrote negative things in my journal as a way of taking out all the garbage in my head so I could feel free. There were years I really struggled and constantly bullied myself for everything. The way I thought and wrote about myself and life was so harsh and toxic. I thought journaling this side would benefit me and take all the stress out of my life.
I never realised how toxic it was, and how much a journal has a strong negative impact on my life. It caused more stress and anxiety. Even though I realised all of this the hard way this video still blows my mind. Whenever I'm scared to journal I always come back to this video. ❤
I didn't and still don't bully myself in my journal. I release negativity from all aspects of my life. Poof, negativity gone like a gentle feather. My life is perfect. And this journal vid is only 1 year old. I'm a few years older and wiser than this in writing and life experience.
I'm sorry you have troubles. Hope you get better soon. :) @@anjalyp.m7853
I quit journaling for years because I found myself using it to wallow, not only spending extra time living in my most depressive thoughts, but also recording them as though they were my natural state of being for weeks and weeks.
It’s really validating to have this video fed to my recommendations. I’d never heard anyone else address this problem.
Me neither, and I have really tried to find it anywhere on google. It turns out now I don't need to hear it, I've figured out a way of journaling that works for me, but the validation is still nice.
I felt like I was the only one, so this comments section is so nice!
This is a great thing to talk about.
I initially tended to write when I was upset, and the association I had with journalling became very negative. I wasn't quite cognizant of this because I'd begun journaling with the intent of being more aware and keeping better track of negative influences in my life. Ironically, as mentioned in the video, the journal became an express tool of negative reinforcement.
When I began intentionally including positive things - what I did well that day, kind things people did for me, things that made me happy or grateful - journaling actually became far more appealing and routine for me. I had more reasons to reach for it. As a result, that negative reinforcement largely dissipated; there are actually far fewer negative than positive things in my life. I wouldn't have become nearly as aware of this had I not made this change, and it marked a substantial shift both in my journalling practice as well as my perception of my life in general.
How did not writing about the negative actually change the negatives that were there regardless?
@@robyndismon394 I don’t think he was saying it changed the negative things - just that he was putting far less emphasis on them by including more positive things. What we focus on tends to expand, in our subjective experience. It sounds like he didn’t eliminate writing about the negative things completely. Just that when he started including positive things also, he realized that he had more positive than negative going on in his life. That’s a great discovery!
I used a journal to help me through a bad breakup which left a lot of damage. Reading it back some time later it made me angry and very sad. I saw no good in keeping it as it reminded me of a very bad time so I burnt it and let the bad times go. Very cathartic.
I also offer that you can let the bad times go and you've probably kept a lot of the growth, insight, and lessons from that experience (though of course I am sorry that you had to pay such a price to learn it)
Yes! love it! A number of years ago I had an unhealthy friendship with a passive-aggressive traveling companion. He and I thankfully only traveled together for the first half of my trip. That journal contains shame/anxiety, but also once-in-a-lifetime experiences, and during the second half of my trip it shows the beginning of my healing and the people I met who helped restore my faith in humanity. One day, I'd like to parse out what bits and pieces of that narrative spark joy, and burn the rest (or just tear the rest in half and throw it in the recycling bin).
I’ve started putting :-) in the margin of some entries. It makes the positive stand out when I’m reflecting. Took me three years to come up with something that simple.
what a simple but powerful signifier to use!
I love this idea! Thank you for sharing!
Fantastic idea!
Good idea! Then you can go through and just read those bits if you want.
Great advice. I have a whole journal filled with complaints about the same issue. It saddens me to re-read it; first because it is a journal filled with sorrow. Second because I didn't write about good stuff at all and I'm sure my life at that time was not only sadness. Third because I'm not even sure my problem was really that big.
things are so clear in hindsight. hopefully it has inspired you to shift things in your practice now. thanks for watching, Alan
Anything can feel astronomical in the moment. That's why gentle reflection is so important.
The worst thing I did is probably writing the negative about other people. I escaped communicating with them when it was hard (not for me to talk about my feelings, there are people who just suck at talking, get defensive and offensive etc). So I created an image of them and how I feel about them in my journal. When it was written day by day I didn't really see it. I moved everything to notion database and divided into categories and saw everything I wrote throughout the years (signed with emoticons) and I was devastated. I had to question my relationship. And then I realized this bias, talked with my partner and although I still have these patterns in my thoughts, I can see that he was demonized. I learned to be more compassionate and to stop judging.
In fact it's really hard to stay sane. Is there even an intuition or these are feelings we were trained to feel in certain situations in our life?... I think feelings are a compass but not what to do in life and for our decisions but to understand ourselves. After all it's just a body reaction showing up to save us but from any change to the system it learned to keep being alive. Well, it's very smart of the nature, but not really smart for our current lives...
So I'd add to this video: anything you write is only and always about YOU.
thank you for sharing this very personal insight. it's amazing how much we can villainize people in our minds when we never challenge these images. powerful lessons
hmm interesting i think its ok to write about other people doing stuff to you such as bullying you, harrasing you, or being nice to you, but if its just gossip-type stuff like "ew this person digs their nostrils" yeah i would agree thats harmful
Can confirm that writing about good things too helps the journaling practice a lot! When I started I was only focused on my frustrations and trying to "fix" myself. Once I started rapid logging the events I enjoyed throughout the day, my whole practice became an enjoyable, expressive process that I look forward to.
I spent so long trying to "fix" myself too! I'm going to look more into the rapid logging and the plus sign he put next to it, because that might work for me too!
Your speaking voice is soothing. Just listening to you talk reduces my stress.
Takeaways i took from this. Thank you.
Rapid log 2 things everyday
1 thing i am grateful for
1 victory (something i am proud of myself for)
Tracking the good in our lives ♥ Not an inventory of sadness
Long form journaling once a week
Expand on it at a later time
Written reflections
Write about the good and bad things that happened that week.
Approach what i wrote with “what am i observing”
Is there any action to be taken??
If you sense sadness - optimize the coming week for connection
If you sense greatness - what is the source? How can i cultivate more??
.
I would like to add that journaling doesn't depict your life but it depicts the things that you focused on them that time when you wrote it
I like to write down fun conversations I have with my bf and jokes we make. I also like to draw sketches from cute animals doing fun things, mostly the squirrels in our garden. I even sketch the nonsense we make with our plush animals. It really helps me to remember funny phrases and to re-live the joy about certain moments.
That’s a really sweet way of using a journal (:
I know all about negativity bias! I can seemingly remember every unkind thing that anyone has said to me, but rarely the compliments or encouragement. I can list a multitude of things I did wrong, but have a hard time listing even a few accomplishments. A number of years ago, I started focusing on the things I DID each day, more than the things I failed to do. No matter how overwhelming my to-do list is, at the end of the day I can see what I DID accomplish.
It's weird how loud the negativity in our lives can be & how easy it can be to drown out the good. Glad you're doing better✨️
Yeahh this just makes me believe more and more that our brains are still wired to survive and not enjoy life. The focus on negativity helped people find solutions and get out of dangerous situations I suppose..
I did something similar. At the end of each day I wrote a "got done" list of all the things I did that day, no matter how simple/small. It was so much more than I realized I was getting done, especially when staring at the never ending, never completed "to do" list. It really helped me a lot to see how much I was actually accomplishing each day.
@@thrivingselfcarerenee Well said. It is so important to focus on the success of each day, not how much you didn’t do. It’s necessary to pat yourself on the back❤
One way I have balanced out my journaling is by having a second notebook I refer to as my “messy brain.” In my bujo, I note down what I’m proud of, what I’m grateful for, and what I’m working on in therapy each day. Once a week, I do a weekly reflection as described in this video. I write a small, concise summary of the entry (1-2 sentences) that I review at the end of each month.
My messy journal is for when my thoughts are coming in fast and I feel the need to purge them. The reason I use a separate journal for this, is because it gets really dark and they aren’t things I want to necessarily come across when I’m casually flipping through my Bujo. The entries in my messy journal are less about reflection/gratitude/observations and more about getting thoughts (whether they’re true or not) out of my head and onto paper. My Bujo is so reflective, that it’d be hard for me to scribble down the random thoughts flying around my head, if that makes any sense. The separate journal helps me shift my mindset, so I feel free to just write whatever is there. For example, I may feel very angry and think, “I hate my brother,” or something. I know deep down this isn’t true, but it’s what I’m feeling intensely in the moment, and my messy journal gives me the space to scribble that thought down without judging or analyzing it. After a session in my messy journal, it feels like I’ve purged some heavy weights that were holding me down, then I can move on with my life (after a nice nap 😂).
Having a space that can represent my messy brain separate from a space to observe and reflect gives me a balance between the two.
this is perfect, Kas. the definite need to get these thoughts out - not enough time to filter or make them "neat" so the messy journal is a great idea. I think a lot of people would benefit from this idea....
Oooo!
I’ve been doing this as well but haven’t named it!
Messy Brain is now my second journals name!
Thank you!
I was writing in two different colors, one part was all of my struggles, anger whatever dysfunctional crap was going on that I couldn't handle. It was good for a while and then I broke it into two journals. Mostly because I needed good clean organization to feel in control and then just a place to let it all go, a free for all but not on an everyday basis. It's more a place to just write it and forget it. Things I want to just say in my head without offending someone, things I'm thinking that just piss me off, something that someone may have said or done that I can just spit back on the paper and then say I'm not giving any more power to that emotion or that person. I'm more important. I think that's the biggest take on anything - you are important and journaling is just for you.
Journaling regularly has shown me that I am prone to phrase things very negatively - I've been trying to give my phrasings a positive spin. When I write 'I haven't managed to do xyz', I'll try to stop and think about what I did do, and add that as well. A lot of the time, I end up surprised with the progress I made, when before making myself write it down, I felt like a failure, because my brain was empathising the negatives so much.
it's such a powerful realization to make. our language creates our world
I found a lot of benefit from writing a "got done" list of what I had done that day, in addition to writing a "to do" list to keep track of what needed to get done. Looking at my constantly unfinished "to do" list was very disheartening. But when I wrote up a list of all I HAD done that day, I could really see how much I had actually accomplished. Maybe something like that might help balance the negatives for you.
It’s crazy how much the brain focuses on our imperfections and failures rather than the amazing accomplishments we do every single day.
Combining a quick, rapid log-style note and then journaling more about it later sounds like an interesting way to go about it. Thanks for sharing 😊
let us know how it goes for you!
I so needed this!! I began journaling several years ago and really enjoy it. However, looking through my journal from a year ago just yesterday I realized I was mostly just writing the negative. It was a broken record over and over! I can't believe I just happened to get your video today! I want to go back to what journaling was for me in the beginning! Thank you!
so glad the timing worked out - we are ready for messages when we are ready!
This is why I added the following to my agenda (planner in English):
Mental Health Activity (MH-A): something I did that day to improve my mental health - or at least keep at the same level. And This Made Me Happy Today (TMMHT): self explanatory.
I am going through a lotttt and this reminds me of that I'm working hard on myself - and that there still are moments of happiness/to be grateful for.
Also, I do this in the morning (about the previous day). I am a morning person, like to look at what I've planned that day and reflect a little on the day before. Choosing my timing prevents journaling from becoming a chore (at night).
All these combined I really mended journaling to my needs (and don't feel guilty about not journaling at ė end of the day, but the next morning).
I also have a "daily bujo", where I write about events, small and big, whether they're positive or negative.
And at the last day of the month, reflect on certain things (I rate certain things, such as friendships, going outside, etc. 0-10) and write extensively about the past month.
And I have a separate "self-care" BuJo. Every week on Monday I choose a day + self-care activity I will do on that day (ranging from taking myself out to dinner to simply light candles for myself and watch a movie). Every Sunday I write about what I did - and add a picture of the activity (with a Zoemini). I also keep track of it with a bingo card :)
Lots of honest reflecting, knowing where there's room for improvement and trying to implement taking actions. And keeping track of all the good work I've already been putting in.
Maybe these different ways of journaling are of inspiration to anybody :)
these are powerful practices. its clear that you added things that were important *to you* and would work *for you* - hope this inspires others to do the same in theirs!
I can only say (or shout) THANK YOU!!! Your video was meant to find me today. I was wondering what I did wrong in my journaling- I tried the method everyone on YT is so keen on: Just write what comes to mind first thing in the morning. So I wrote down all my sorrows and fears as they are the loudest voices inside my brain, and this daily collection of The Worst didn‘t exactly make me feel better. You have given me a very appreciated guide. I feel better already!😊
and of course you should continue to honor the feelings you have - AND add on :) best to you!
What if you took a month's worth of those morning pages filled with sorrows and fears, held them up to see if they spark joy or not, and if they don't spark joy you can thank them and throw them in the recycling bin. See how that feels, did you feel free afterwards or did you regret it? If you felt free, maybe you can let go of more of those pages.
That's advice for myself at age 29, when I wanted to let go of my old journals full of fears and disappointments. You can take my advice or leave it.
i do use my journal to vent, but sometimes i use my journal like im talking to a person, and i tell them(journal/pretend person) other stuff too. like if something interesting happened. or even something good/surprizing. or new changes in my life. it sort of helps me process how i feel. other times i use journal prompts when i feel like i need to journal but dont know where to start and once in awhile i will use a quote as inspiration and that usually inspires some kind of hidden feelings to come out that i wasnt aware of.
that sounds like a great and healthy practice - acknowledging and naming how you feel is the only way to begin dealing with them and moving forward. cheers!
Thanks, Ryder. You just articulated what I’ve been doing so far. Simple sentences for my gratitude in a day. I even created separate journal for all small celebrations to reinforce good feelings. Honestly, my life changed dramatically by doing this. It lead to incredible blessings far more than I can imagine. Also, whenever I am upset, I use desktop notes to process my emotions for the venting. Once I get the clarity of the emotions, identifying triggers, I close note pad without saving it. Then I turn into my journal to capture new emotional insights about any triggers so that I can manage my emotions if similar events arises. This is how we grow as individuals.
this is a powerful idea especially for people who want the insights, but not necessarily wanting to re-live the hard days - thank you for sharing!
I really loved this. I especially like the idea of collecting rapid-log posts, putting a + signifier by them, and doing one expanded reflection later. That is SO MUCH more likely to get done than a daily long post, plus, some things happen that I don’t WANT to expand upon. Thanks, Ryder.
@@TroyLFullerton yes!! 👍🏼
I often find that when I am ruminating, I need to make sense of the thoughts stuck in a cyclical pattern and get them flowing in a healthy way again. When I write them out, it helps to get the thoughts unstuck, and I can see where the thoughts are and reflect on how to move forward. It doesn’t always mean I have a solution, or that the reason for the rumination is any easier. But, it does give me a more hopeful and empowered outlook, rather than feeling trapped by my thoughts.
unlocking your own door, thank you for sharing this
Coincidentally, acknowledging your negative thoughts and writing them down is the first step in Cognitive therapy and in the process of defeating these thoughts
@@jakubkucera1973 It did the exact opposite for me but I generally didn't do well with CBT. Journalling and similar excersises are not the right approach for the more intense mental health concerns imho.
@@Shirumoon My first instinct would be to doubt the knowledge and expertise of the mental health professional that guided you through it. I'm not gonna actually do that though cause I don't know any of the specifics of your situation.
There is however a great number of severely depressed people that were helped or even cured with CBT, so I definitely wouldn't agree with your last statement.
Great topic! I journal for the last 5-6 years with only one rule - only write down positive moments. And if I need to write about something negative, then I end with what I can learn from this situation, so that I see the positive in the negative. This way of journaling was a gamechanger for me and my mental health.
Thank you for the video!
Greatings from Germany,
Ana
I'm glad that you make sure you can look for lessons from the negative - all about balance and growth!
So funny, this is something i was thinking a lot about recently! I was never a journaler, but from time to time i wrote down my thoughts. When i looked through my notes recently, i was shocked to see that over the years i was having the same negative self doubt thoughts - it was like i only sat down to journal when i had these self doubts. It gave me a negative feeling when i looked back at it. I now gave myself the rule to only do rapid logging about events that happened on a certain day without putting any emotional value to it. If i want to write more, i will only write down things that made me happy or that i am grateful for. It probably depends on the character of each person, but for me, journaling as a means to cope with emotions did not work at all, because - as you beautifully explained it in the beginning - i used it as a negative biased outlet, which does not help and makes me sad when i look back at it. When i have negative thoughts now, i do not bring them down to paper, but i stay with them and focus on doing value driven actions that make me happy and bring me closer to my goals. I came back to bullet journaling 5 months ago and i love it so much, the liberty it gives me for my plans, to dos and ideas is incredible!!💖
glad that you could add that gratitude practice to balance out your BuJo - of course it is important to acknowledge when these negative thoughts appear (I'm not sure they ever fully go away), AND be thoughtful about how we address them, learn from them, adjust, etc. happy bullet journaling, Laura
This is so timely for me. I had recently come to the realisation that my journal was skewed negative and started what I called the “work it and reverse it”. What’s the issue, be self-aware and intentional after the rant!
You say it much more eloquently!
Thanks
it does come out eloquently after reworking the script a few times! 😆
I did follow an advice of writing gratitude once a day years ago. It didn't feel honest to me. It felt like forcing myself to feel better, and it only made me feel the opposite.
I kept writing what is honest to me, and most of the time it was all negative.
After years of journaling and reading my old entries, it made me realize my problems and decided to make changes for myself. I started seeing things better and actually starting to feel real gratitude towards my life. It's something I would never see years ago. I think we naturally balance ourselves as we mature. Journaling helps us see our problems and it's us who decide to make changes.
I don't think there's toxic journaling. It was ourselves that reflect that toxicity. And it is up to us to improve them. Sometimes we just couldn't get out of our heads and sometimes it takes years for us to realize that especially if we're all too emotionally clouded and have too many thoughts to untangle.
Journaling should be personal, and it should differ from person to person depending on where they currently are on their life.
this is a wonderful reflection, and really mirrors the journey that I took myself in journaling. like you, I saw the pattern and that motivated me to make the shifts and changes, and it made me wonder whether I missing some of the goodness all along that I could have benefited from. Like you said, there is a lot of room for different strategies so I'm glad that you could see that pattern and make the changes you wanted to
I felt the same way about daily gratitude journaling. It felt take and forced and inauthentic to me. After reading some articles about toxic positivity and when affirmations don't work, I changed how I did gratitude journaling. I went from daily to weekly. I also added in a section for "what sucked this week." I was able to acknowledge what was difficult AND find good things and things to feel grateful for. I generally limit myself to only listing up to 3 things in each category. Doing that really helped me with gratitude and finding the good things that were/are going on.
Weekly reflections quickly became my favorite way to use the information in my bullet journal. I try to start with a positive reflection from the week, even if the majority of what happened seems, at first, negative. Often I find that there were just as many, if not more, positive experiences from the week and the negative parts finally get put into perspective.
Thank you. I also prioritize logging the things that I'm grateful for and something I achieved (no matter how small) for the day.
The 3rd one that I log each day is something new that I've done.
Thank you so much for emphasising the need to reflect on my negativity bias - it is always there in the back of my mind. I'll try your suggestions and see whether I can more rationally value the small daily victories.
Excellent!
I remember a troubled time in my life, when I journaled regularly to get through what I was going through. I do periodically go back and read through my journals, and as I read back through one particular journal, I thought oh my goodness - if someone were to read through this journal after I'm gone, they might be led to think I was miserable and unhappy, or perhaps whiny. I was writing to get through the difficult times, so I wrote about difficult matters. That revelation helped me shift my focus, and what a gift that's been. As you recommend in this video, I began to include more writing about positive things, like gratitude. There's always something to be grateful for! I began to make more of an effort to include happiness in my journal instead of just misery all the time. Seems like someone said once, "You become what you think about most of the time," and I definitely prefer happiness. Sure, awful stuff still happens. I acknowledge it when it does, but I don't dwell on it now. What a gift to be reasonably happy most of the time.
Thank you for making this video.
Yes, and I would not have had those revelations unless I looked at my entries, like you did! I had that same reaction to reading my own journal, and it sparked that change
I most appreciate the guidance to write a note of gratitude and a victory. I also like the idea of a weekly reflection on the weeks entries and journaling when we are happy. Great advice! Thank you!
Ryder and all, this is more than selling a technique or a practice. This is practically helping to be self improving quality of life. Purpose! Thank you
Journaling for focus and balance are the most important messages from this video for me. Started journaling a few months ago and I can confirm it helps a lot for my focus and balance on things in life. Thank you Ryder!
Finally someone talks about this.
I always felt bad because everyone else could write and "get things out of their chest" and feel better and i didn't, once it got to the paper, my feelings got worse every single time, to the point i felt overwhelmed by my own emotions, because everytime i wrote something and read it back the next time i picked up the journal, it was like living those potent feelings all over again.
I felt like something was wrong with me, and not actually with my way of journaling.
Thanks for talking about this and give advice, i really needed it.
Thank you, Ryder. The last October I bought your book in an internacional book fair because I was tired of not keeping a proper bullet journal... so I find this kind of content so educative in this journey 💕
I'm using a "things I'm grateful for" collection in my Bujo. I force myself to find something positive everyday even when I'm veeeeeery sad or things didn't get well...
It's life saving. It doesn't solve the problem but it help so much to stay stong...
My congratulations page exist in two ways.
The first one is for each week. The second one is any time I succed in big project or challenge. I can write 6 or 8 of them each year. It's a good way to improve my self estime.
What I miss is a reflexion page... The way I set up my Bujo is not useful to get it... Something I want to improve...
Thanks for your advice Ryder!🤗
a great reflection on your own system - thank you for sharing your thought process!
Thank you for this insight. I am going through a rough patch right now and am going to keep this in mind. I also want to stay away from toxic positivity, but a little more balance in my journal is indeed welcome.
yes! absolutely acknowledge and look at the not-so-good while ALSO making sure you're seeing the good that might be present
I'm grateful for bullet journal, this channel and you, Ryder. Thank you for everything you do, BuJo helped me a lot and I can't imagine my life without journaling.
thank you, for being part of the community and watching (and, I can't imagine my life without it either!)
I do long form journaling a lot and it seems to have a balance of negative and positive. For me the negative parts are used to get whatever is bothering me out of my head so I can move on. Since I usually journal about everything it naturally includes any good stuff. I haven't been able to shorten my journaling, maybe it is because I journaled as a child, teen and now an adult.
no need to shorten, it sounds like you have developed a very balanced approach to journaling so far :)
This video was very enlightening. I started a journal a couple of years ago and I tended to only write in it when I felt tired or just sad or regretful. I somewhat knew that the journal wasn't a realistic view of my life, but the way the obvious tends to completely pass by my face astounds me sometimes. Thank you for this.
I'm glad this could be helpful
Interesting points! I've always used my journals to work *through* my thoughts about something, whether they're positive, negative or neutral. For me, it's always been the time and physical involvement of longhand writing that helps me focus and then get through to the other side of whatever's on my mind. The fact that it ends up being a record of my times is sort of secondary, but never the main focus. I have a calendar to record what happened. That's not what my journal is for.
Right now I'm working through a lot of grief--impending death in the family, frustrating relationships, and my first real examination of how my unrealized childhood traumas have affected my life--but I'm not wallowing. I'm working through my feelings, and figuring out what I can do, what I have control over, what I need to let go of, and what my intentions are/where I want to work toward from here. It's messy, but that's the point. ^_^
Oooo. I love this. I rarely write about negative times in my planners/journals and I could never quite put into words why other than “I don’t find it helpful” but “a journal as a reflection of focus” is a beautiful way to put it. I choose to focus more so on the positives and “forget” the negatives that my brain makes me feel without my consent.
You are so well spoken! Thank you for this! ❤️
Absolutely awesome! Thank you so much for your spot on analysis!
Ryder is a wise guide to follow. Bullet Journal goes beyond anything anyone has created in the productivity space BECAUSE it is not a productivity tool. That is just a disguise. His words, not mine.
I'd been dumping all my depression for 10 years because I didn't really feel anything good at the time. I thought that people pretend to see positive or they're stupid not to see all this hardship. Today I understand why it was like that and it makes sense. But what I wanted to tell, it began to shift about 5 years ago when I started to write every day, asking myself how I really feel. And I discovered I can't even say I feel good. I couldn't feel happiness or gratitude. I wasn't letting myself feel it. I still feel a bit awkward with this but it was a really huge mindfk to discover this. I'm ashamed to say I'm happy. This was a huge door to open.
I think that makes sense. That is exactly where you were at the time and we will see these things whenever we are ready. Glad to hear that the door is opened now
I decided to write only the VERY positive things into my journal. I have a lot of negative thoughts, self-doubt and a very low self-esteem. But when I have a "high" (like once a month or so) I write everything I did good in my journal. Just like a letter to myself. Now that I did this for about 2 years I have collection of great or small events and achievements written down. I read this over and over again go collect arguments against this mean voice in my head and it had worked great so far. Nothing negative makes it into this book.
Thank you very much for this video!
Thank you for making these videos, Ryder. For those of those who may be unable to obtain the course, and even those of us who can and have, these videos provide amazing insights and direction for our practices!
that is always the goal, thank you Zachari
Every single video of yours I've seen has made me go, "Oh shit, I didn't think of it that way, that makes so much sense." They're like little concentrated bombs of wisdom and thoughtfulness. I picked up your method for tracking my to-do lists and keeping organized, but looking back now I realize that I don't want to only be focusing on my work and responsibilities. I'm going to try implementing some more of your tips on balanced journaling.
Thank you for putting your excellent ideas out here for all of us. You're making the lives of so many people so much better and more fulfilled, and that's some of the highest praise I can possibly give.
That was my journey as well, I went from a productivity mindset and when I hit a wall with reaching a big goal (that felt really unsatisfying), I realized there's more I wanted to focus on than just my work outputs. I appreciate your feedback very very much, thank you
When i first started journaling I used to write what was bothering me. It almost ended my realationahip because I was focusing on the wrong things. Once I started rereading everything, I noticed the patterns and how I was trying to push into others some problems of mine. Today I changed to a more phylosophical approach and is changing my perspectives on life. Thanks so much for your video!
The problem I had with journaling back when I tried it is that every page looked exactly the same. My life was monotonous and repetitive. There's only so many times someone can write "Woke up, ate breakfast, went to work, ate dinner, went to bed" before they realize that journaling is completely useless.
Rewatch the section under tips 2 and 3. You didn't reflect, you simply observed. If you reflected, you might have asked yourself, "Do I like this monotony? Do I feel that I am a full person in these entries? What can I change/add/alternate to give my life more meaning than eating, working and sleeping? Do I even want to or am I happy like this?" The journaling wasn't useless, it was simply limited.
I feel like I've said 'I thought I was the only one!' About 3 times this past week. This is reassuring: thank you!
Thank you for this video. It came at a time when I really needed it.
This video is honestly so inspiring and insightful at the same time. I love the way to talked about journaling and I could feel that you were being truly genuine with what you said. Thank you for creating such awesome content. The internet needs more people like you 💛
Most of the stuff I share comes from lessons I have learned and earned myself, so I'm glad it can be of use
I started journalling in my latter high school years, more than 10 years ago. My first book was a gift with writing prompts, asking me what happened today, what I learned, what I'm grateful for, and plans for tomorrow. I kinda kept that same idea when I had freedom in future books. If things aren't going right, I do try to analyze the problem and share the root of it, along with my emotions at the moment, how it made me feel. Though, if things are really bad, I may not even write until things clear up a bit as I do want to be a bit more objective in my storytelling. I have had a lot of goals and things on my bucketlist, and I managed to cross all of those off last year. Journalling certainly helped remind me mentally that, where I am at the time of writing isn't where I'll always be. I would focus on the future and keep track of my progress. I always made notes of milestones, along with happy moments on the journey.
Love You!! Thank you. I have a few boxes of journals from many years past, that I need to burn! They are focused mostly on negativity and sorrow! I realized a couple years ago that I needed to Stop doing that and focus on the good. Balance is a helpful reminder. I did it for the same reason you mentioned---to get all that Off my mind. Did it help relieve my mind chatter--yes and no. It became an obsession, I think. I love your videos, they are helpful. Now, I need the courage to begin my bujo practice . I've had your pretty pink bujo journal for 2 years. I am afraid of messing it up. A perfectionist, I am afraid so. I feel I don't know what I am doing when it comes to bujo practice. Journaling is easy for me. I have watched many of your videos--I just need the courage to begin-haha!
you should see some of my old journals - very messy, incomplete, etc. remember that it is a *tool* we use!
Ok. I am going to begin my practice..….soon❣️
Thank you so!!! I was asking about this last video.... I love that I can go back to that one rewatch then try to apply.... this is really helpful!!!!
✋
Love your advice ❤ thank you so much for the simple and clear articulations
nice. i am keeping it as simple as possible. i journal spontaneously within each day in the form of longer notes. i don't do anything weekly. i noticed writing more in times i talk to less people, when i am around people a lot my daily logs might have no notes at all.
probably the things i am excited about are shorter than the things i really have to think about in search of a solution. but often i actually do find solutions or things i want to try to see if it makes a situation better. so i think i am always trying to follow my thoughts to get to a new perspective on a situation. a new perspective can change everything.
ps: i am bujoing since 2018 and i never looked into any of my previous journals and read things again. so i am surprised people actually do that.
I wrote a letter to myself once and read it last year before I got back into bullet journaling (had a beard of 18 months). It was really interesting and fun to read, so I thought I wanted more of that and did it again on December 31st, 2022. I want it to be a yearly tradition for me.
I just came across this video and I find it very interesting. I’ve been keeping a long-form journal off and on for most of my 46 years. I often write about positive things, but I go through periods of writing about mostly negative things. I’m in one of those negative periods now, and this video has reminded me how much better I feel when I choose to write about all the little (and big) things in my life that have made me happy and grateful.
You are so right that a journal is not a record of our lives but a record of what we paid attention to. Somehow I never thought of it that way until now. Writing about our problems can be cathartic, but we shouldn’t ignore all the good things that are still happening. We can still find joy and beauty in our lives even in the midst of struggles.
Thank you very helpful, this will really help me to focus less on the negativity and more on the positivity of life.
much needed video!! thankyou for this insight!
Thank you so much for this well-balanced view on journaling. As someone who struggles with expressing feelings with a strong negativity bias and defaulting to to-do lists (these are safe, but emotionally disconnected), your suggestions on balanced journaling practices help with honest and levelheaded self-reflection. ❤️
the emotional disconnection resonates a lot. It's a lot easier to ignore our inner turmoil when we can throw ourselves into task production. thank you for watching
Thank you for guidance as I daily journal and write in 3 different journals daily ❤
I really enjoyed this video Ryder (and team), thank you. It touched on something for me. So, about me: I am new to Bullet Journaling (~ 6 months). Recently, I have noticed that I do do a surprisingly large amount of long-form journaling in my BuJo. I have been thinking about this and trying to determine the 'Why' behind this 'What'. I think I am doing this because: 1) I am new to a disciplined practice of journaling, and 2) I have high-energy personal relationships that require me to process things. In this way, the BuJo has instilled some new, really really great habits and patterns and I can see some really positive outcomes emerging. But, there have been times when my BuJo has been little more than my brain dump of negativity, complaints, yeah-buts, and the like. While I know that writing about these topics isn't wrong and actually has been helpful and cathartic, I also know that it's not been sufficiently balanced. Based on your suggestions here, I will work on improving that because I do have a great deal to be grateful for. I really like your advice on making periodic "Written Reflections" within your video. That was really powerful, and I will begin doing that. Thanks again.
so glad this could add some more nuance and balance to your practice - it already seems like it is providing you some great perspective and an outlet. we are grateful 🙏🏼
This was one of the most important videos from Ryder that i've hear. Thanke you so much Ryder for taking and invest your time to help us. I was in a deep part of my live where, i almost let to write in my Bujo because of the negativity bias. I love the sentence what you explain "Bujo is not a reflection of our lives as much as it is a reflection of what we are putting our attention". Thanke you again Ryder!
thank you for sharing! hope that journaling practice can continue to be helpful for you
LOVE THIS!! I used to write about my sad moments but then i realized - there was also exciting and happy moments in my life so i need to change it and am happy for how i journaling now ❤❤
Yes, and!
I agree with your points. I always try to write down what I read in the Bible that day or write something i'm thankful for.
a danger of journalism is perfectionism for me and It made journalism toxic for me because I just felt more stressed. now most of my journaling is just sloppy writing and scribbling and I am finally mature enough to come to the conclusion that's ok . I tried for the longest time to make it neat and pretty, but it started to stress me out and I did not find joy in it. My messy journal is more therapeutic.
I had the opposite problem - filling my journal with only positive things. Toxic positivity was a thing. Reading the books from my time in an abusive relationship ten years prior made me feel so weird and prickly. You could eat between the lines that I was an “unreliable narrator”. They were soon destroyed 😅
THANK YOU SO MUCH for finally saying it!!!! If I had a nickel for every time a professional has suggested journaling as the solution to my problems I’d be filthy rich.
I have an endless inner dialog. I DO NOT WANT the words to just come pouring out all the time. It literally makes me sick after while.
I want to read the words of others to heal. I want to be filled with music, fitness, creativity, & connection to nature, other people, & animals & I want to take care of my family & friends.
Recently, I discovered the concept of 'one line a day' where you will write one sentence about basically anything. It could be a quote, a highlight of your day, something you're thankful for, et cetera-anything under the sun! Also, recently, I learned the concept of recalling the worst as well as the best part of the day. So now I am combining these two concepts, and this is how I call it a day. It helps to keep me grounded and aware that both good and bad things happen in life.
that's what we log in our monthly timelines as well!
This is actually an educational video for me.
I related to many things in this video.
Really thank you for making this video.
So much grateful for posting this ✨
I'm grateful for your videos. It doesn't even matter what the topic is, they're like a warm lullaby 💕
This was very helpful this morning… thank you
Thank you sooo much for this video! Yesterday I learned that journaling can be harmful to a few people that are „overthinking“, so it‘s not the best and overall solution for everyone, and now your video tops this by „not having to journal evry day“ (what a relief). So I continue my journey of journaling by trying not to overthink it plus not to load another burdon on my shoulders to „have to do it every day“. This positive message I will write into my journal, and maybe only tomorrow 😉 thank you again 🫶🤗🙏
thank you for this video. i've had a lot of struggles in maximizing my growth with journals, not knowing which direction to take and what real benefits goes with it (writing pages after pages just to feel temporary relief, but not sure what to do with these hundred of pages afterwards). this has helped me redirect & refocus in actually helping with step by step direction with my journaling. Godspeed
Just subscribed :) This is actually a rather helpful video. I have a lot of journals, but I’ve stopped using them for journaling because it kinda seems like I’m always writing about stuff that’s made me sad or angry, at worst depressed and then some, and whenever I look back on those entries, I find that my mind was just everywhere based on the words that were written and how I was writing. Not to mention it really shows how much I forget about there being positive moments in my life. I generally just use my journals to write stories or worldbuild. I message my friends about what’s on my mind, what’s going on throughout my day, and what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling that way, so they’re kinda my substitute for journaling in a way. And fortunately not everything I message them about is negative so it’s definitely a good journaling alternative for me
I love how practical these videos are to me. My takeaway is BJ-->reflect-->action. I've often wondered why I journal - is it productive?? This tells me how to make it so. Thank you!
that comment energizes us more than you could know, thank you!
Wonderful video. I love the idea of one win and one thing you’re grateful for. It’s easy to get lost in the negativity when times are tough. It’s all about perspective. Also, you have the most beautiful voice and manner of speaking. It’s a nice bonus to the great content!
thank you! I wouldn't be able to share that learning if I didn't live through it myself
I actually have a few different journals, so things remain separated and not tossed in together...
A regular journal for things I want to remember
A FML journal... Self explanatory
A "common place" journal
A Bible study journal
A 3-6-9 Journal
Of course I only write in one or two of them daily, but the others are there for when I NEED to get something out of my head.
I've been keeping a regular journal since high school, and even though I don't have every journal I've ever done, there are times I did wish I had them to see how much my life has changed over the last 28 years 😊
I was surprised to see this topic. I think the topic is worthwhile. Thanks.
i'm happy that someone said this in a very cohesive manner. It took me a while to learn this by myself and though I do consider journaling a "chore" sometimes (i do daily journaling), i still find it wonderfully cathartic since i consider it a summary of my day as well as a means to keep track of key memories that i have trouble keeping in mind (i have bad memory). i hope others take well to these tips because i know it did for me even if i had to learn it the hard way.
i can only offer the insights i've learned over time in my own life, and hopefully it can be helpful or timely to others! thank you for watching
Brilliant video, thank you so much! I have 'failed' a couple times at journaling over many years, but noticed that I recently started using my weekly planner to a point that resembles bullet journaling, but without any long form writing. I am at a point where I could use some proper reflection and wanted to learn more about how others journal. In the past I'd only journal when I was sad and as you explained beautifully, I don't think that's good for me. Thanks so much for all this, it will help me so much in starting my new journal.
We're ready whenever we're ready! Glad you're getting some momentum doing what works for you
I've been journaling for 8 years and I noticed this problem of drifting towards writing about negative things, since they're placed in "problems to solve" cathegory, so this advice is helpfull.
It's a special distinction and it's important!
Thanks @Ryder Carol this was Sooo convicting! I totally (over past few years) have only been journaling during the bad, drowning or heavily stressed times in my life. I did this because Bujo helps bring me back to the safe shores of organization. Then I forget about it again until next time. WoW time to make a change and add in some good times or my productive less stressed times! We’ll see what fruit comes from it over the next 2 months! Excited to layer on a new “Atomic Habit”!🎉
This is so timely. I just purchased a Leuchtturn 1917 for a little journaling fun and then I realized but I have nothing to write about right at this very moment and it dawned on me all of my blessings and joys. I’ll be starting with the things I feel immense gratitude towards and just let the time flow.
sometimes we think something has to be super great or bad to log it down - but sometimes the "everyday" or "ordinary" is also meaningful to log
Super insightful video!
I'm honestly bad at keeping up with journaling, but I was told I should do so in therapy. However, I always felt so sad and angry when doing it, because therapists exclusively told me to do it when life was overwhelmingly negative. Whenever I didn't have anything to write down, especially if nothing bad happened recently, I was treated as if I wasn't trying hard enough to get treatment. It made me & my struggles feel inadequate, as if I didn't really need or deserve help if my life wasn't constantly traumatizing me. Except whenever my life was that bad, it was harder than ever to focus on therapy or the stuff I was supposed to do outside of it. In that sense, therapy was having the opposite effect on me. For me, it's very hard to see the positives when I'm being encouraged to only dwell on the negative & write it out. While some of my forgetfulness to journal is definitely related to my adhd & asd, I'm starting to wonder if I subconsciously developed a negative association with it. I love this concept of balanced journaling. I'll do my best to take it to heart.
if you look through the comments you will find you are not alone in this! I hope this reframe can help some way.
This is so beautiful, thanks for sharing ❤️
When I used to keep a diary as a kid I only used to write when I was upset - and it was almost everyday because I was a hormonal teen going through puberty. I never re-read those entries but one day my sister found my diary and read the entries leading upto her birthday which is in January. The entries were terrible because I was always upset about something or the other.
She ended up crying and apologizing to me because she did not know/notice that I was having such a bad time - that I had a terrible childhood. I did not. I only logged the bad emotions. I did not have any entries for the week of her birthday because I was out enjoying myself with her so I had nothing sad to write about.
I am glad I found the concept of affirmations and gratitude, I make it a point to include those in my daily journal as well as when I journal about what I am feeling.
what a powerful, though probably difficult, moment. Thank you for sharing
I used to journal everyday with the exception of break when becoming a mother. Not a lot of consistency because the kids come first❤. But in my last marriage my journal stopped when my husband started reading them. Yes I write bad things but I also write good things but humans with tend to dwell on bad things. So that stopped to prevent further fighting. Since our divorce 11 years ago I haven’t been able to get back into it. That relation ship was a toxic one and that was a traumatic experience in that my privacy was violated and not respected. I felt betrayed just as he may have been hurt by me not talking to him instead of journaling my thoughts and feelings. Needless to say my health has had ups and downs and this video has given me a little motivation and great hints to positive yet constructive writing. Thanks again!
I'm so sorry to hear about this past experience. That would definitely have an impact on the perceived privacy you have in a journaling space. I hope you are able to find spaces where you are able to express these thoughts and feelings that still feel safe!
YES❤ Thank you for this video!!
i have a journal and i mainly use it as a venting space. i’ve tried to focus on some good things too. thanks for speaking on this and i will try to be more aware of what i’m writing. i can obviously write about what i’m sad about but i think i need to focus on other things as well
absolutely, it is a Yes and :) thanks for watching
Thank you so much for the video. Now it makes more sense to me. Sometimes It's because of the negativity bias I'm not able to enjoy the process of journalling. Now I'll be more intentional and balance my journal. Thank you once again for throwing light on many aspects that we usually ignore!
I sincerely hope it helps
To me it is hard to do convencional journaling. I can't just sit down, write what happened in my day or decor a page of something I like, I need to be in the mood otherwise nothing comes. So what I've done is have multiple journals for the things I like: one for stuff I collect and like (I call it Crow Journal because it's like a crow's nest), one to write whatever the fuck I want (Being things in my life, song lyrics or even the grocery list) and a kinda bullet journal to plan (because I really like planning even to the smallest details and I can't either afford nor like common planners). This has work for me very well, and I think is a good way of journaling despite being uncommon, so if anyone is struggling with journaling you can try any of this stuff :)
thank you for sharing! it's great that you know what works for you rather than forcing something. There are many ways to capture our reflections and thoughts and can result in some interesting insights
Thanks alot for making us pay attention to what we write..🖤✨
This is such a wonderful and helpful video. I've definitely found certain kinds of journaling to be toxic/damaging for myself personally. After reading a few articles about toxic positivity and when affirmations don't work, I decided to change how I do gratitude in my journal. I start off writing 1-3 things "that sucked" during the week. Then I write 1-3 things that I'm grateful for or were good that week. I really needed to be able to acknowledge what was difficult or what sucked that week, especially since indeal with disabling chronic illness. Kinda similar to what you suggested to write 1 thing you're grateful for and 1 victory, albeit daily. I personally have found weekly gratitude/in-gratitude journaling to be more effective and beneficial for myself personally. Daily just felt like way too much of a chore and felt too forced. Thank you very much for this video though. Truly helpful!
absolutely. it's never about ignoring the bad! we just also don't want to ignore the good that may also be present.
At the beginning of the year I started writing a monthly reflection and base it off of all my entries in my journal, and I’m finding it really helps me see the good as well as the bad, because the good comes with the bad I think. Sometimes I do think that I try to write positively too much and there are negative things as well that need to be talked about.
Absolutely. It's great that you notice when you might be straying away from the honesty of your negative emotions. They are very instructive, not to be shied away from, but rather to sit with and learn from
Great advice! I'm going to try it out for myself.
I bought your books before covid, and can’t seem to follow, but watching these videos, I will put this info to work, I was afraid exactly about getting caught on negativity, great video
that is wonderful to hear, thank you for watching