Hey folks - we have a new highlights channel! We'll be posting more short-form, standalone content that is informative, to boost our AoE Healing! Subscribe to catch more of Dr. K: ua-cam.com/channels/g9u1I3uUAjs1MCFlAHhOgg.htmlvideos (Posting memes/funny stuff on Dr. K Out of Context)
I saw this and was immediately going to watch, then I said, “no I need to sign off on some docs for work... let me do that first then I will watch this...” I did it out of sheer guilt that I would be watching the video thinking of the work I’m supposed to be doing... so I bit the bullet and now I am watching this anxiety free. Yes, I’m very proud of myself right now.
I think I can expand Dr K's theory with something that I've been practicing for about a week or so. I do agree that "helping other people" definitely improves your conscientiousness, but I find it hard to achieve your goals whilst relying on the external factor of other people. But, I've found that if you can treat yourself as a so called "other person" you can in fact do the important long-term things for yourself. For instance, I couldn't get myself to sleep and wake up at a decent time because I would rather impulsively play video games till 5am when I literally couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. But, when I was able to look at myself as 'Anthony' and treat myself like a good friend would, I understood that sleep is a basic human right and that not letting myself sleep is basically human torture, even if I'm doing something that I 'want' to do. Therefore, I can put myself, ahead of myself, similar to the sense of what Dr K said about putting other people ahead of yourself. I can give another example with studying or practicing a hobby, which is that in the moment I would rather play video games all day, but instead I look at myself as 'Anthony' and position myself as the best friend of Anthony, and as a best friend it is my dharma (duty) to try and ensure that I set up Anthony for happiness and the things that truly make him content and not just feel pleasurable for a brief moment. Therefore, I choose to study or practice, so that I can achieve my purpose of making sure that Anthony is satisfied and happy. I think it's all about creating a sort of separation of self. I call the voice in my head 'I', and I kind of think of it as my soul, and 'Anthony' is sort of a embodiment of my personality and interests. If you ever saw that Simpson's episode where Bart sells his soul to Milhouse, this is kind of what I use to visualise two selves that are the same person. Now I think this would only really work if you can cultivate a genuine sort of respect and kindness for yourself, as I find you can't really do things for people that you either don't care about or hate. I'm reading this again and I'm not sure it really captures everything that I feel right now about this but hopefully I'm making sense and that this can help the people here.
@@Nobody-pv9jt Lmao, although I do know about Jordan Peterson, I swear all these of these ideas were formulated from constant thinking and experience. If I did say something similar, you should probably call it pure coincidence.
@@ahuynh01 i am a student, so basically if i don’t feel like studying sometimes (feeling burnt), but i know how important it is for me to study, i should make peace with myself and “talk” to my self like a good friend that want good things happen for the other friend and say “Dude you need to study to pass that damn exam, or you will be strugling even more if you don’t!” An answer would be apreciated!
I remember that has something to do with the idea that we tend to really problem solve for other people's issues but we don't do the same for ourselves
I dont think it does, his theory is that if you do stuff for others you get better at doing stuff for yourself that you don’t really want to do (because you are better at not doing what you want to do)
Something that also helps me is viewing my future self as another person. That way, when I need to get a chore done, and it would benefit my future self, I can pretend that I'm doing it out of altruism. It usually makes it way easier to do the chore then
ahhh good idea but make sure you love or at least respect yourself before doing this or you may end up going "aye future me is gonna get so messed up after this and idc haha you wench future me dieee"
I use this strategy a lot, treating current, past, and future self (or selves if I'm exploring a choice that is important). More than that though, I use this strategy to amuse myself by thinking up and pulling off pranks on my future self to annoy them. If anyone has any ideas on how to do a prank against your past self, I'm also very interested in learning more.
This is actually how I work. I got low conscientiousness but high empathy and agreeableness. I will go lengths to do stuff for other people but as soon as it's for myself the motivation is gone. My psychiatrist called this "relations motivation". I'll practically only clean my apartment if I have people over, I guess some guilt is a driving force there as well.
I don’t have a citation for this, but I heard about a study that I think ties into what you were saying. In the study, the researchers were measuring the brain waves (or something) of the participants while having them do something. They asked the participants to talk (or think) about themselves, about someone else, and about themselves in a few days. What the researchers found was that the data from when the participants talked about someone else and about their future self were really similar, and different from the data when they talked about themselves, indicating that we think about our future self as if it were some other person. Therefore, if we’re faced with a situation where we have an exam in a week, we think about the exam as the problem of someone else (the me who’s taking the exam in a week) instead of our own problem, and as such we can push it off easily. I think this is especially relevant to your point here since training ourselves to help other people would be exactly the same training to help our future self since we consider our future self to be some other person. Sorry if my description of the research is somewhat vague and unclear. I only heard about the research and have never read it myself, and I am unclear about that kind of research as well. I’ll try and find it and if I do, I’ll edit it into this comment. EDIT: I found a paper that discusses what I talked about here. It is "The self over time" by Hal Hershfield at UCLA. It discusses the idea I talked about here referencing a body of work on the topic. It also references the specific research I talked about earlier. I think it's worth reading. The paper also discusses another exercise that we can do in order to prioritize our future selves, which is reflecting on our future selves and who we want to be / who we see ourselves as in the future. We should spend time thinking about our future selves and their' "interests, desires, and lifestyles." By creating a vivid image of our future self, the future self becomes close to us even if they are still some other person. If we don't do this, then the future self is some abstract idea that we think of as a stranger. It is easier to do something for someone close to you, and so by making our future selves close to us, we make it easier to sacrifice our present enjoyment for something that is better for our future.
Wow, this is super interesting information, thank you for sharing. I've dug a little into why we procrastinate myself, and one term I found for what you said is "temporal self-discontinuity", don't know if that is the definitive term for it but nevertheless it relates to this topic. The brain-scan study is solid biological proof for the hypothesis that we see our future selves as a different person from our present self. It really makes sense now. Also thanks for including that exercise to bring us closer to our future selves, I am definitely taking note of that.
Dr K you have no idea how much I needed this. I’ve been struggling so much lately.. I’m very fortunate to have at least one friend who looks out for me when I start to show dangerous signs. I’m going to rewatch this video as much as I can and start doing acts of service for the people in my life. I can’t thank you enough
Half way through this video I had to take my dog out for a walk because I felt like that would do good to him but I also feel better than before since I’ve started my day with a not so passive activity. I think your approach is pretty cool. Doing something for someone else is almost always incredibly rewarding and I think sometimes we underestimate how much we can do for someone, because that one thing that was so easy for us could mean the world for them, a single well-meant compliment or a smile.
I really feel like there's something to this. There's one thing I've noticed with myself as I became more productive. Dr.K tells us we have to "help someone else" to gain conscientiousness. I think it might be the simpler "help someone". And that someone can also be yourself. Maybe conscientious people are more willing to help themselves. I'm not like that naturally, so "helping my future self" by doing the dishes for example motivates me (at least more often). I might be totally wrong here, but it's something I've noticed.
Ive been busy trying to "sow seeds for my future self" but it gets hard to stay focused cus it takes so long to get results, i think helping yourelf like you said also helps but not as much, i think helping someone else really makes you more altruistic and helps more long term, while doing dishes or for example making yourself a tasty and healthy meal helps short term(making it a good habit still!), i think it takes your mind off from the future focused efforts youre making, its hard to stay motivated when youre not really enjoying the "seed sowing process" but i think the gelping other people and not thinking about yourself and your future makes good stuff happen for you long term, im not sure how so gonna watch video again sometime but yeah, wonder what dr k would say lol.
I think you are partly right! After watching this video, I came up with an idea and immediately wanted to do it. Now, I shouldn't do it right now because it's all day I'm procrastinating, so I felt awful for thinking about doing smth else and indulge in my "impulses". The thing is, what I wanted to do wasn't simply video binging as I always do or keeping my mind out of things. I actually wanted to write down my thoughts on productivity and how to practically use the strategy dr. K told us, irl. And this, I think, is a good way of helping ourselves. If you do feel the need to do something for yourself that will actually benefit you, do it. Still, it's difficult to understand which thoughts are impulses and which ones are helpful thoughts. That's why it's probably more helpful to be useful to others, at least at the beginning of the productivity journey.
Good insight. I have been very good at helping others throughout my life but still struggled for a long time with procrastination and doing things for my future self. I was good at doing things for others, but not for myself. I am getting better though, and what changed, is that I've started to care about my future self more and love myself more. For me (and it's a little complicated) but I spent most of my life really detached from my future, which wasn't something I looked forward to. I needed to realize that I wasn't living out my life authentically. I was living for a future designed by other people, following a duty, and not thinking of a future I personally wanted to live. I can't take care of myself when I am not pursuing a future that I am excited by.
@@dr.bandito60 You hit the nail on the head for me, honestly. I didn't expect someone to come by and comment a description of exactly the way I feel. This is exactly what I was trying to say in my first comment but I struggled with the wording (partly because I'm still figuring this stuff out, partly because english isn't my first language). I'm a bit stunned actually.
@@Melee20XX That's fine, but maybe you just need to find people that fit your personality better. Not judging though, maybe you really are an ultra-introvert, but often people do have a need for some social company even if just once in a while.
FINALLY!! Someone explains this without fucking bullshitting me! Props dude, there’s so many psychological concepts that people try to mysticise and piss me off with in the process. This is the no bullshit explain of Karma I was looking for!
I took Jordan petersons test and scored in the bottom 3rd percentile in conscientiousness, and resonated HEAVILY with the description, nothing phases me and I don’t care about deadlines, obligations etc and I’m super content, it’s like I’m already living my worst nightmare and I’m cool with it and I’m trying to figure out what to do about it, so now I’m back here a year later watching this video again
The revelation that conscientiousness is about one's own duties as well as helping others, and the connecting of that to karma is one of the biggest "Oh shit" moments I've had in a long while
Looking at conscientiousness through a lens of altruism actually makes an incredible amount of sense to be so this is very useful stuff. Thank you for this!
The ability to delay gratification is also a common trait amongst highly conscientious people. They know their impulsive behaviour feels good in the moment, but the guilt that follows isn’t worth it. Very interesting topic for sure!
Weirdly enough, I have observed this to quite extent when I worked for Child Protective Services. We had a family to be who had a history of illegal drug abuse. Once the child was born and had to be removed for a certain amount of time, the parent began attending all required classes and never tested positive after that. When asked what was the change after all these years, they (in words I can remember) said, my son does not deserve to suffer because of my mistakes and I deserve not to suffer having my son around.
Today I learned I have high neuroticism, am highly empathic, and have low conscientious. I always wondered why I never hesitated to go the extra mile to support someone in need, but I would always procrastinate when nothing was on-the-line (i.e. external deadlines). I'll continue to explore this concept with my group coaching sessions. Thanks Dr. K and the HealthyGamer team!
a less talked about one is really low neuroticism, I sometimes feel like I don’t care about anything, even if it’s something important that I have to do
holy shit. The coolest thing about this for me is that I essentially already had all the knowledge presented in the video. You just connected a few dots and blew my mind!
I've always been generous and not putting myself first for my entire life; sometimes to a fault. I've actually had to *force* myself to put myself first at times. My productivity is great, but one thing that makes my productivity suffer is realizing that the people around me don't want to be productive. I haven't exactly trained my mind for the purpose of being the *source* of ambition when everyone else is not even close to being ambitious. That's something for me to think about!
That will explain why people that have kids tend to be more put together. Because they care for they're kids and putting they're needs before themselves...
this is so cool. I used to study among health professional students and was usually pretty impressed by how selfless these studious individuals were - taking time to teach others when they themselves could have used that time to study on their own when they're enrolled in rigorous programs. It looks like such traits of conscientiousness and altruism may actually be correlated then. 😁
Its interssting. I always was a bit confused that i must have narcassistic traits or something because i work in mental health and while i have empathy for my clients and i get on very well with them, i dont take on their emotional trauma or in fact feel much at all except a sense of duty to assist if i can. I very much like humanity but i have somewhat of a coldish mind. But i think this might be my 20 years as a journalist coming into play. Because you cannot help someone or understand all the nuances of a situation if you buy into the emotion of it. Also tend to be good in an emergency and highly motivated. But this sort of explained a lot to me. Helping other people and doing things that you might not necessarily want to is very good for your mind. Its a great way of being in control of your own mind and impulses. Well said Dr K.
Goddamn dr. k, your theories truely are remarkable. It's been almost three years since I read '12 rules to life' and decided to follow some of Mr. Peterson's recommendations, a very impactful of which was not to lie. His reasoning was, much alike yours of karma, that someone who tell lies to others tell the most to themselves. I have also been working on becoming a better person, who is able to respect and love others, and have here also experienced the effects of karma. I find it amazing that a concept as old and seemingly simple as karma, can have such a tremendous effect in so many aspects of life. I highly appreciate your videos and would love to read a book of yours.
DR K IS A GENIUS!!! YESSSS this makes so much sense. I am like a productivity badass when it comes to helping other people but can not do it for myself. I'm constantly controlled by my impulses. But I can see where practicing conscientiousness and selflessness in those moments could help. Please write a book I would buy that shiz so fast!
My life was completely ruined, half a year ago i volonteered in non-profit organization as a teacher, and things got better, quit smoking, gaming addiction etc IT WORKS!
thing is i live with ppl who keep taking things and wanting more. so when it comes to helping another person, i’m already tired, and feel as though that person can’t help themselves while i’m helping 4 people not including myself. i really need to move out lol
Thats an interesting interpretation of karma. I think its much more simpler than that. Especially in the past, if you help others you gain more renown and if you harm others then you gain more infamy. You sow what you reap.
For those I saw in the chat asking how it translates to studying: Think of it like a game where you craft hundreds of daggers to increase your crafting level to make high tier gear. It's easier to help another person than it is to help yourself the same way it is easier to craft daggers. It levels up the same stat. Side note, liking the live talks a lot more than the prerecorded lectures to nobody. Feels a lot more natural. This video in particular seemed to have just the right amount of editing to keep things focused and on track.
This blew my mind. My whole life I've considered myself lazy. I lack follow-through and really struggle staying committed to anything longterm, even if it's important. However, whenever it comes to being there for someone else I've always been very altruistic, almost to a fault. The times when I'm best able to abstain from bad habits is when I'm assisting others. It makes so much sense. No wonder a lot of "successful people" attribute a lot of their progress with volunteer work. Incredible stuff. I see myself very differently now.
I went into ROTC one morning to quit. Between struggling with college, fitting in, and getting yelled at each morning, I started to believe that this wasn't for me. Right as I entered the office to give my resignation, I got a text. I was apparently the leader for my unit for today's morning training and that I was to have the unit formed up and ready on the pitch NLT 0430. Instead of being the final straw of responsibility that would have broken me... something inside me did indead break - but it wasn't the Camel's back. My first immediate thought was "Well shit, I can't just bail on the team NOW of all times!" followed by scrambling to coordinate everyone and get them where they needed to be. My plan was to get everyone through the training and quit afterwards... but by the end of it, despite tanking responsibility for everything that went wrong - and as my first trick at the helm as flight commander, a LOT went wrong - the world felt clearer, more immediate. Fighting the urge to break became much... easier. Turns out, it's a LOT easier to put off your own wants and desires when it's not about you.
Awesome video. I have zero neuroticism and low conscientiousness and i always found it difficult to care. Instead of trying to change it's far more effective to lean into your strength, like low neuroticism makes me fearless and low conscientiousness works great with process oriented thinking. This means i stay in tune with what is important. I act because it is intrinsically rewarding. Instead of a goal, i can do an identity shift, or just make it more fun. Carrots on a stick are fundamentally flawed, because it's always a question of when you give up. Not wanting to do something it always a sign that something is wrong. Society has too much false pride in doing without thinking and doing when it's hard.
Here are two little tricks that may help some of you to get stuff done: 1) Set a rule for yourself that the moment a task that would be useful to do crosses your mind that you HAVE to do it immediately , no matter what. Kind of like when you were a kid and someone says the floor is lava then you had to get off of it. 2) For those of you with a chip on your shoulder, think about how much you'd hate to lose. Let that anger fuel you to workout, study, practice, etc.
He said once that for skin, he just uses soap, and to have good skin, you need to have good poops (i.e. if your diet is good enough to have easy poops, it's good enough to have good skin). Obviously sleep, hydration, and lower stress play into it. And for hair, it's probably just diet too, plus indian genetics.
this reminds me of the summer i became enlightened. I vowed to help others at every opportunity. the level of motivation that it provided me ended up in symptoms similar to mania, the insane level of joy rocketed me through so many things i struggled with. they became effortless, cause i could argue that they would help me help others.
Ahh cool cool... My entire childhood I was forced to "help out" for hours on end at random times, and nowadays I often completely avoid any situation where someone might ask for help so I don't have to repeat that experience. I also am avoiding doing the work I planned this morning by consuming content whenever I think about how I promised my boss/myself I'd get it done. It makes complete sense these would be related. Thanks for this.
To add upon the structure Dr. K is describing, is that putting other people's first not only sets aside your impulse, it sets aside your ego. And researchers who study creativity have found that prefrontal ego engagement gets in the way of entering the flow state. Therefore by putting other people first you are more likely to enter flow. Being conscientious is literally having a purpose greater than self. And when you engage something for a purpose/dharma it makes it dramatically more likely that you go from an egocentric focus to a task-centered focus.
Theres more to this than just conscientiousness by itself. For many, helping others can make you feel good about yourself, and those positive feelings can transfer into positive thoughts, and positive thoughts about yourself and feeling good about yourself is a critical part in motivating yourself too right?
@Sanningen that does not work if someone uses the internet for resources. My computer broke and I cannot do jack shit now. Only after so many days I am adapting and finally working again.
@Sanningen That might have been something viable 10 years ago, but not now when the majority of work/school requires the use of those things. Especially during lockdown, which most of us are still in.
Helping people develops your conscientousness. Giving away things that benefit you for another human being trains your muscle for setting aside your impulses. And thus, the more you do that the more conscious you'll become "Once clients put themselves second in relationships and not first, they start working harder in general", "so it kinda works for me, i have low conscientusness i have a very vata mind, so it helps for me to think of you guys. it's like there's things i want to do for you guys and it's like oh i have a limited time on this earth so i got to, like better get on that better get busy"
I've always loved helping people and find myself doing it to people who are even rude to me, only realizing after - I feel like so many people have just taken advantage of my kindness : /
Dr K gives incredible advice all the time, but this is one of the best pieces I've ever heard to use altruism to push conscientiousness.... Thank you so much for making this video!! I'm not a gamer but a lost college student going through a quarter life crisis and this channel is the best thing that has happened to me....
Ah, yes. There's a Jordan Peterson quote that goes something like, "Treat yourself as someone you'd like to help." I've found it super useful tbh. Instead of speaking to yourself as "I", simply saying "we" seems to give yourself a lil buff.
This feels like it might be the answer to my biggest problem that I have had for so long. I do things for people often because I enjoy doing things for them. But only the easy stuff. If its something hard I don't. I'm going to change that. Thank you
I completely agree about the low neuroticism! I had a mental health professional compliment me about how chill and worry free I am, and I feel like he doesn't understand how much it holds me back. Like just because I'm not depressed or have anxiety about going to the stores doesn't mean I'm not struggling with basic adulting stuff.
I'm a very lazy dude who's stuck at life but recently decided to move out and now I'll probably have to work and study at the same time in order to break the distance with the girl I love, only way for us to be together was for one of us to move somewhere else And I know it'll be fucking hard so I was looking for stuff on motivation or how to keep myself from wasting time and this video came at the absolute perfect time Thanks Dr. K
I feel like I had a good "amount" Conscientious when I was in college because I was always working towards my degree. I graduated in 2017 and for the first year or so I was enjoying my job but I knew this wasn't what I wanted to do career wise. Two years (3 since graduating) later I'm still in the same job and for the last year or so I've been really down on myself for not being able position. But this video game me a lot of insight as to how I can improve my situation and it's nice to know that I can recapture the ambition I previously had. Thanks Dr. K!
For me it's the opposite. I'm getting stuck in college because I don't know what exactly I want to use my degree for (but I still want to get it because I've come to far, and in my country you need a bachelors degree for most decent jobs) But when I have assignments with other students, or when I was at my job, I perform really well because I feel responsible for the people around me. I can only get myself to do things if others are affected by my results.
@@KarlSnarks I can relate to your situation. I was one of those kids that went to college (in the US) just because I was told it was the right thing to do after high-school. I ended up getting my major in communications and minor in psychology. Upon gradation I, still didn't really know what I wanted to do. So, now I'm in a position where my job pays well (over qualified working at major corporations) and I haven't really taken time to explore what I actually want to do our of fear of failure. You are young and have time/resources around you to help you stay honed in on your school work so that once you do graduate you can continue on the path to success (whatever that may be for you). Best of luck to you!
All of these positive things are true, I am very conscientious and it's always been good for me, unless you meet some people who really make use of it. It started to backfire as I wanted to study and do something helping for myself, but they required a lot of my help and attention, causing me to be really stressed about my work and now I am in a spiral of anxiety. The stress and time anxiety is keeping me from also helping others that are less demanding and vocal in needing help, such as friends and family and it makes me feel really bad additionally. Now I actually have trouble studying as I connect it with all that anxiety because I think I cant make it as it suddenly became very hard and I am missing on helping out the people who want/need it.
Doing things that help other people innately even teaches you to help your future self. Ultimately teaching you to raise your capability to remove instant gratification.
if you think about it doing things for someone else is a big motivator for people to do uncomfortable things irl, namely they do it to support their families. for those of us who don't have families that need supporting, maybe we can still use this mindset. I work so I can improve myself so I can provide for the world
There is a reason why I play team-based games like Left 4 Dead 2 etc is the flexibility of helping other people at least and those were years of invested in playing the goddamn game since 2016.
Whenever I help anyone else like, if I see someone before I punch in at work who needs help I’ll help them before hand, but when it comes to editing videos I can’t get started, I don’t mind doing anything for anyone else but I can’t come to work on long term goals without being impulsive
I remember when in school i would help all my classmates in their studies and because of that i studied harder so I could help them better maybe a solution would be to get a study buddy where you work together and help each other out in turn making both of you work harder for each other
Me after doing Understand Myself by J.Peterson: Agreeableness: Very Low (8th percentile), Compassion: Low (21st percentile), Politeness: Very Low (4th percentile), Conscientiousness: Moderately High (69th percentile), Industriousness: Moderately High (73rd percentile), Orderliness: Moderately High (60th percentile), Extroversion: Typical or Average (50th percentile), Enthusiasm: Moderately Low (30th percentile), Assertiveness: Moderately High (68th percentile), Neuroticism: Moderately Low (36th percentile), Withdrawal: Typical or Average (57th percentile), Volatility: Low (21st percentile), Openness to Experience: Very High (89th percentile), Intellect: High (78th percentile), Openness: Very High (90th percentile) I'm basically a robot I guess.
Woah, now that you mention this, I realize that the times in my life that I've been most conscientious, It's been because I had other people in mind doing those things. I worked out every day because I wanted to surprise my new girlfriend, I made music because a friend of mine seemed excited that I would release an album. I started a dnd campaign because I wanted to get my friends together to be happy. fascinating stuff.
Hey folks - we have a new highlights channel!
We'll be posting more short-form, standalone content that is informative, to boost our AoE Healing!
Subscribe to catch more of Dr. K: ua-cam.com/channels/g9u1I3uUAjs1MCFlAHhOgg.htmlvideos
(Posting memes/funny stuff on Dr. K Out of Context)
I believe in your hypothesis Dr K and I'm going to give it a go
Aka I'm going to try and help you by helping myself by helping other people I think? Anyways, I'll try my best!
@@miguichino6799 I join you there :>
@@sanders.3376 Nice try but no
@@miguichino6799 I think you missunderstood me. I'll do it by myself aka not by myself and with other people xD. I wish you all the best mate.
Doing side quests for other characters gives you additional XP that makes the main quest significantly easier.
5head
I love it
THEEEEEEERE’S the gaming analogy that I was trying to put together in my mind! Flawlessly said!
Well said chandler
Needed to hear this.
I saw this and was immediately going to watch, then I said, “no I need to sign off on some docs for work... let me do that first then I will watch this...” I did it out of sheer guilt that I would be watching the video thinking of the work I’m supposed to be doing... so I bit the bullet and now I am watching this anxiety free. Yes, I’m very proud of myself right now.
THATS AWESOME!!
Good for you :)
Your comment made me do the same, so thanks!
are you khan academy
And you had to comment about it?
I think I can expand Dr K's theory with something that I've been practicing for about a week or so. I do agree that "helping other people" definitely improves your conscientiousness, but I find it hard to achieve your goals whilst relying on the external factor of other people.
But, I've found that if you can treat yourself as a so called "other person" you can in fact do the important long-term things for yourself. For instance, I couldn't get myself to sleep and wake up at a decent time because I would rather impulsively play video games till 5am when I literally couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. But, when I was able to look at myself as 'Anthony' and treat myself like a good friend would, I understood that sleep is a basic human right and that not letting myself sleep is basically human torture, even if I'm doing something that I 'want' to do. Therefore, I can put myself, ahead of myself, similar to the sense of what Dr K said about putting other people ahead of yourself.
I can give another example with studying or practicing a hobby, which is that in the moment I would rather play video games all day, but instead I look at myself as 'Anthony' and position myself as the best friend of Anthony, and as a best friend it is my dharma (duty) to try and ensure that I set up Anthony for happiness and the things that truly make him content and not just feel pleasurable for a brief moment. Therefore, I choose to study or practice, so that I can achieve my purpose of making sure that Anthony is satisfied and happy.
I think it's all about creating a sort of separation of self. I call the voice in my head 'I', and I kind of think of it as my soul, and 'Anthony' is sort of a embodiment of my personality and interests. If you ever saw that Simpson's episode where Bart sells his soul to Milhouse, this is kind of what I use to visualise two selves that are the same person. Now I think this would only really work if you can cultivate a genuine sort of respect and kindness for yourself, as I find you can't really do things for people that you either don't care about or hate.
I'm reading this again and I'm not sure it really captures everything that I feel right now about this but hopefully I'm making sense and that this can help the people here.
Thats an interesting perspective, really had me thinking. Thanks for sharing!!
Have you, by any chance, ever heard of this guy called Jordan Peterson?
@@kylecarpetburn4767 He's a big preacher of the ideas this guy seems to be describing
@@Nobody-pv9jt Lmao, although I do know about Jordan Peterson, I swear all these of these ideas were formulated from constant thinking and experience. If I did say something similar, you should probably call it pure coincidence.
@@ahuynh01 i am a student, so basically if i don’t feel like studying sometimes (feeling burnt), but i know how important it is for me to study, i should make peace with myself and “talk” to my self like a good friend that want good things happen for the other friend and say “Dude you need to study to pass that damn exam, or you will be strugling even more if you don’t!” An answer would be apreciated!
This explains why I can be motivated enough to help someone else with cleaning their house, but can't get motivated enough to clean my own.
It might have more to do with extroversion than anything else
Ill help my friend do his homework for a class i don't even take yet ill still have my due work with dust on it :(
I remember that has something to do with the idea that we tend to really problem solve for other people's issues but we don't do the same for ourselves
I dont think it does, his theory is that if you do stuff for others you get better at doing stuff for yourself that you don’t really want to do (because you are better at not doing what you want to do)
Something that also helps me is viewing my future self as another person. That way, when I need to get a chore done, and it would benefit my future self, I can pretend that I'm doing it out of altruism. It usually makes it way easier to do the chore then
as a person with no friends to help this helps a lot
That’s literally karma - sewing seeds for your future self to reap
That’s a cool concept
ahhh good idea but make sure you love or at least respect yourself before doing this or you may end up going "aye future me is gonna get so messed up after this and idc haha you wench future me dieee"
I use this strategy a lot, treating current, past, and future self (or selves if I'm exploring a choice that is important).
More than that though, I use this strategy to amuse myself by thinking up and pulling off pranks on my future self to annoy them. If anyone has any ideas on how to do a prank against your past self, I'm also very interested in learning more.
This is actually how I work.
I got low conscientiousness but high empathy and agreeableness. I will go lengths to do stuff for other people but as soon as it's for myself the motivation is gone. My psychiatrist called this "relations motivation".
I'll practically only clean my apartment if I have people over, I guess some guilt is a driving force there as well.
I don’t have a citation for this, but I heard about a study that I think ties into what you were saying. In the study, the researchers were measuring the brain waves (or something) of the participants while having them do something. They asked the participants to talk (or think) about themselves, about someone else, and about themselves in a few days. What the researchers found was that the data from when the participants talked about someone else and about their future self were really similar, and different from the data when they talked about themselves, indicating that we think about our future self as if it were some other person. Therefore, if we’re faced with a situation where we have an exam in a week, we think about the exam as the problem of someone else (the me who’s taking the exam in a week) instead of our own problem, and as such we can push it off easily.
I think this is especially relevant to your point here since training ourselves to help other people would be exactly the same training to help our future self since we consider our future self to be some other person.
Sorry if my description of the research is somewhat vague and unclear. I only heard about the research and have never read it myself, and I am unclear about that kind of research as well. I’ll try and find it and if I do, I’ll edit it into this comment.
EDIT:
I found a paper that discusses what I talked about here. It is "The self over time" by Hal Hershfield at UCLA. It discusses the idea I talked about here referencing a body of work on the topic. It also references the specific research I talked about earlier. I think it's worth reading.
The paper also discusses another exercise that we can do in order to prioritize our future selves, which is reflecting on our future selves and who we want to be / who we see ourselves as in the future. We should spend time thinking about our future selves and their' "interests, desires, and lifestyles." By creating a vivid image of our future self, the future self becomes close to us even if they are still some other person. If we don't do this, then the future self is some abstract idea that we think of as a stranger. It is easier to do something for someone close to you, and so by making our future selves close to us, we make it easier to sacrifice our present enjoyment for something that is better for our future.
Wow, this is super interesting information, thank you for sharing.
I've dug a little into why we procrastinate myself, and one term I found for what you said is "temporal self-discontinuity", don't know if that is the definitive term for it but nevertheless it relates to this topic. The brain-scan study is solid biological proof for the hypothesis that we see our future selves as a different person from our present self. It really makes sense now.
Also thanks for including that exercise to bring us closer to our future selves, I am definitely taking note of that.
Thanks for sharing this bro
This is great info! If anyone wants to read - search for it on google scholar, then go to sci-hub and... viola! :)
Thank youu!
Dr K you have no idea how much I needed this. I’ve been struggling so much lately.. I’m very fortunate to have at least one friend who looks out for me when I start to show dangerous signs. I’m going to rewatch this video as much as I can and start doing acts of service for the people in my life.
I can’t thank you enough
14:20 This was a thing for my in college. I would always study ahead so I could help my classmates before a test the next day.
W
Half way through this video I had to take my dog out for a walk because I felt like that would do good to him but I also feel better than before since I’ve started my day with a not so passive activity. I think your approach is pretty cool. Doing something for someone else is almost always incredibly rewarding and I think sometimes we underestimate how much we can do for someone, because that one thing that was so easy for us could mean the world for them, a single well-meant compliment or a smile.
I really feel like there's something to this. There's one thing I've noticed with myself as I became more productive.
Dr.K tells us we have to "help someone else" to gain conscientiousness. I think it might be the simpler "help someone". And that someone can also be yourself. Maybe conscientious people are more willing to help themselves. I'm not like that naturally, so "helping my future self" by doing the dishes for example motivates me (at least more often). I might be totally wrong here, but it's something I've noticed.
Ive been busy trying to "sow seeds for my future self" but it gets hard to stay focused cus it takes so long to get results, i think helping yourelf like you said also helps but not as much, i think helping someone else really makes you more altruistic and helps more long term, while doing dishes or for example making yourself a tasty and healthy meal helps short term(making it a good habit still!), i think it takes your mind off from the future focused efforts youre making, its hard to stay motivated when youre not really enjoying the "seed sowing process" but i think the gelping other people and not thinking about yourself and your future makes good stuff happen for you long term, im not sure how so gonna watch video again sometime but yeah, wonder what dr k would say lol.
I think you are partly right! After watching this video, I came up with an idea and immediately wanted to do it. Now, I shouldn't do it right now because it's all day I'm procrastinating, so I felt awful for thinking about doing smth else and indulge in my "impulses". The thing is, what I wanted to do wasn't simply video binging as I always do or keeping my mind out of things. I actually wanted to write down my thoughts on productivity and how to practically use the strategy dr. K told us, irl. And this, I think, is a good way of helping ourselves. If you do feel the need to do something for yourself that will actually benefit you, do it. Still, it's difficult to understand which thoughts are impulses and which ones are helpful thoughts. That's why it's probably more helpful to be useful to others, at least at the beginning of the productivity journey.
Good insight. I have been very good at helping others throughout my life but still struggled for a long time with procrastination and doing things for my future self. I was good at doing things for others, but not for myself. I am getting better though, and what changed, is that I've started to care about my future self more and love myself more.
For me (and it's a little complicated) but I spent most of my life really detached from my future, which wasn't something I looked forward to. I needed to realize that I wasn't living out my life authentically. I was living for a future designed by other people, following a duty, and not thinking of a future I personally wanted to live. I can't take care of myself when I am not pursuing a future that I am excited by.
@@dr.bandito60 Damn, man. Fuck.
@@dr.bandito60 You hit the nail on the head for me, honestly. I didn't expect someone to come by and comment a description of exactly the way I feel. This is exactly what I was trying to say in my first comment but I struggled with the wording (partly because I'm still figuring this stuff out, partly because english isn't my first language).
I'm a bit stunned actually.
Fuckin hell, this touched my soul. I've been searching answers for a long time. I've tried everything. Am trying everything. Will try this too.
Best wishes in your journey
High neuroticism and low conscientiousness is a very bad combo D: Not speaking from experience or anything
I feel your pain. :(
Same FeelsBadMan
I thought I was lazy for so long! I didn't realize it was anxiety and fear keeping me in my room, I always figured it was because I didn't care enough
@@_WeDontKnow_ get off your computer! :)
@@Melee20XX That's fine, but maybe you just need to find people that fit your personality better. Not judging though, maybe you really are an ultra-introvert, but often people do have a need for some social company even if just once in a while.
FINALLY!! Someone explains this without fucking bullshitting me! Props dude, there’s so many psychological concepts that people try to mysticise and piss me off with in the process. This is the no bullshit explain of Karma I was looking for!
I took Jordan petersons test and scored in the bottom 3rd percentile in conscientiousness, and resonated HEAVILY with the description, nothing phases me and I don’t care about deadlines, obligations etc and I’m super content, it’s like I’m already living my worst nightmare and I’m cool with it and I’m trying to figure out what to do about it, so now I’m back here a year later watching this video again
same here man.
i am so fukked.
we are so fukked.
good luck
@@btchiaintkidding7837 there’s hope, give it time, love your best life… it gets better❤️🙌
Took mine now and my conscientiousness is 0 😢 and extraversion is 1.
Liking the hair Dr.K. Keep growing it out 👍 long hair men is the future.
Probably not 😂
AGREEEEE
TRUE
Id actually like to see a man bun happening at some stage.
bump for long male hair
The revelation that conscientiousness is about one's own duties as well as helping others, and the connecting of that to karma is one of the biggest "Oh shit" moments I've had in a long while
Looking at conscientiousness through a lens of altruism actually makes an incredible amount of sense to be so this is very useful stuff. Thank you for this!
Man, you deserve way more subscribers. Love your content
The content is absolutely amazing but its really not edited well enough to warrant more subscribers
Frfr
@@MaintainMundane the ammount if benefits you get from this absolutely free information heavily outweighs the need to even have an edit
The ability to delay gratification is also a common trait amongst highly conscientious people. They know their impulsive behaviour feels good in the moment, but the guilt that follows isn’t worth it. Very interesting topic for sure!
I want to know what Dr K does to get his hair looking like that.
Genetics ma nigga
dna lmao
He motivates it to stay stuck like that
Coconut oil and tender love and care
Mostly genetics. You’ll find this commonly in people from the Asian territories
I have trouble finding motivation to do stuff, especially with things being how they are at the moment, so thanks for making this video. :)
Weirdly enough, I have observed this to quite extent when I worked for Child Protective Services. We had a family to be who had a history of illegal drug abuse. Once the child was born and had to be removed for a certain amount of time, the parent began attending all required classes and never tested positive after that. When asked what was the change after all these years, they (in words I can remember) said, my son does not deserve to suffer because of my mistakes and I deserve not to suffer having my son around.
This is my favorite video that's ever been posted on this channel. Everything makes perfect sense to me.
Not suprised that it resonates with you, youre like the embodiment of altruism right? ;D
I think this video explains the most important thing he was always trying to tell us from the beginning, but now he is much better at that
I think this was the first video I've watched from you. Didn't know that you would help with so much more than productivity 😊
I'm going to start introducing myself as an altruistic sociopath
Are you a sociopath? 😂
Today I learned I have high neuroticism, am highly empathic, and have low conscientious. I always wondered why I never hesitated to go the extra mile to support someone in need, but I would always procrastinate when nothing was on-the-line (i.e. external deadlines). I'll continue to explore this concept with my group coaching sessions. Thanks Dr. K and the HealthyGamer team!
I just leveled up my conscientiousness after watching this. Thanks Dr.k!
a less talked about one is really low neuroticism, I sometimes feel like I don’t care about anything, even if it’s something important that I have to do
holy shit. The coolest thing about this for me is that I essentially already had all the knowledge presented in the video. You just connected a few dots and blew my mind!
Perfect Video for me right now
I've always been generous and not putting myself first for my entire life; sometimes to a fault. I've actually had to *force* myself to put myself first at times. My productivity is great, but one thing that makes my productivity suffer is realizing that the people around me don't want to be productive. I haven't exactly trained my mind for the purpose of being the *source* of ambition when everyone else is not even close to being ambitious.
That's something for me to think about!
That will explain why people that have kids tend to be more put together. Because they care for they're kids and putting they're needs before themselves...
this is so cool. I used to study among health professional students and was usually pretty impressed by how selfless these studious individuals were - taking time to teach others when they themselves could have used that time to study on their own when they're enrolled in rigorous programs. It looks like such traits of conscientiousness and altruism may actually be correlated then. 😁
Its interssting. I always was a bit confused that i must have narcassistic traits or something because i work in mental health and while i have empathy for my clients and i get on very well with them, i dont take on their emotional trauma or in fact feel much at all except a sense of duty to assist if i can. I very much like humanity but i have somewhat of a coldish mind. But i think this might be my 20 years as a journalist coming into play. Because you cannot help someone or understand all the nuances of a situation if you buy into the emotion of it. Also tend to be good in an emergency and highly motivated. But this sort of explained a lot to me. Helping other people and doing things that you might not necessarily want to is very good for your mind. Its a great way of being in control of your own mind and impulses. Well said Dr K.
Goddamn dr. k, your theories truely are remarkable. It's been almost three years since I read '12 rules to life' and decided to follow some of Mr. Peterson's recommendations, a very impactful of which was not to lie. His reasoning was, much alike yours of karma, that someone who tell lies to others tell the most to themselves. I have also been working on becoming a better person, who is able to respect and love others, and have here also experienced the effects of karma. I find it amazing that a concept as old and seemingly simple as karma, can have such a tremendous effect in so many aspects of life.
I highly appreciate your videos and would love to read a book of yours.
You are an actual hero. With this help you not only help people but their next generation to come.
DR K IS A GENIUS!!! YESSSS this makes so much sense. I am like a productivity badass when it comes to helping other people but can not do it for myself. I'm constantly controlled by my impulses. But I can see where practicing conscientiousness and selflessness in those moments could help. Please write a book I would buy that shiz so fast!
Im literally having a break from an exam and this comes up. I don't know if thats terrible or great timing
@@rohanb6727 gl brother
It’s a test
Me too, was getting my side hustle going
google microphone spy
My life was completely ruined, half a year ago i volonteered in non-profit organization as a teacher, and things got better, quit smoking, gaming addiction etc
IT WORKS!
Your hair looks so cool like this, grow it up againnnn
Having a break from studying for my exam to watch this nice
thing is i live with ppl who keep taking things and wanting more. so when it comes to helping another person, i’m already tired, and feel as though that person can’t help themselves while i’m helping 4 people not including myself. i really need to move out lol
"DO IT FOR HER" - Homer
Thats an interesting interpretation of karma. I think its much more simpler than that. Especially in the past, if you help others you gain more renown and if you harm others then you gain more infamy. You sow what you reap.
For those I saw in the chat asking how it translates to studying:
Think of it like a game where you craft hundreds of daggers to increase your crafting level to make high tier gear. It's easier to help another person than it is to help yourself the same way it is easier to craft daggers. It levels up the same stat.
Side note, liking the live talks a lot more than the prerecorded lectures to nobody. Feels a lot more natural. This video in particular seemed to have just the right amount of editing to keep things focused and on track.
This blew my mind. My whole life I've considered myself lazy. I lack follow-through and really struggle staying committed to anything longterm, even if it's important. However, whenever it comes to being there for someone else I've always been very altruistic, almost to a fault. The times when I'm best able to abstain from bad habits is when I'm assisting others. It makes so much sense. No wonder a lot of "successful people" attribute a lot of their progress with volunteer work. Incredible stuff. I see myself very differently now.
I went into ROTC one morning to quit. Between struggling with college, fitting in, and getting yelled at each morning, I started to believe that this wasn't for me.
Right as I entered the office to give my resignation, I got a text. I was apparently the leader for my unit for today's morning training and that I was to have the unit formed up and ready on the pitch NLT 0430.
Instead of being the final straw of responsibility that would have broken me... something inside me did indead break - but it wasn't the Camel's back. My first immediate thought was "Well shit, I can't just bail on the team NOW of all times!" followed by scrambling to coordinate everyone and get them where they needed to be. My plan was to get everyone through the training and quit afterwards... but by the end of it, despite tanking responsibility for everything that went wrong - and as my first trick at the helm as flight commander, a LOT went wrong - the world felt clearer, more immediate. Fighting the urge to break became much... easier.
Turns out, it's a LOT easier to put off your own wants and desires when it's not about you.
Awesome video. I have zero neuroticism and low conscientiousness and i always found it difficult to care. Instead of trying to change it's far more effective to lean into your strength, like low neuroticism makes me fearless and low conscientiousness works great with process oriented thinking. This means i stay in tune with what is important. I act because it is intrinsically rewarding. Instead of a goal, i can do an identity shift, or just make it more fun.
Carrots on a stick are fundamentally flawed, because it's always a question of when you give up. Not wanting to do something it always a sign that something is wrong.
Society has too much false pride in doing without thinking and doing when it's hard.
Thank you Dr.K becouse you are improving the life of a lot of people!
Honestly you're one of the best people out there for this stuff.
Agreed. Serving others teaches you to serve yourself.
This is actually great. I was thinking the person you should do things for is yourself. But not yourself now. Do it for future you.
Here are two little tricks that may help some of you to get stuff done:
1) Set a rule for yourself that the moment a task that would be useful to do crosses your mind that you HAVE to do it immediately , no matter what. Kind of like when you were a kid and someone says the floor is lava then you had to get off of it.
2) For those of you with a chip on your shoulder, think about how much you'd hate to lose. Let that anger fuel you to workout, study, practice, etc.
He needs to do a hair and skin routine video. lol
I'd bet its very minimal. What you are seeing is a result of healthy diet, exercise, stress management, etc.
He said once that for skin, he just uses soap, and to have good skin, you need to have good poops (i.e. if your diet is good enough to have easy poops, it's good enough to have good skin). Obviously sleep, hydration, and lower stress play into it. And for hair, it's probably just diet too, plus indian genetics.
this reminds me of the summer i became enlightened. I vowed to help others at every opportunity. the level of motivation that it provided me ended up in symptoms similar to mania, the insane level of joy rocketed me through so many things i struggled with. they became effortless, cause i could argue that they would help me help others.
Ahh cool cool... My entire childhood I was forced to "help out" for hours on end at random times, and nowadays I often completely avoid any situation where someone might ask for help so I don't have to repeat that experience. I also am avoiding doing the work I planned this morning by consuming content whenever I think about how I promised my boss/myself I'd get it done. It makes complete sense these would be related. Thanks for this.
To add upon the structure Dr. K is describing, is that putting other people's first not only sets aside your impulse, it sets aside your ego. And researchers who study creativity have found that prefrontal ego engagement gets in the way of entering the flow state. Therefore by putting other people first you are more likely to enter flow. Being conscientious is literally having a purpose greater than self. And when you engage something for a purpose/dharma it makes it dramatically more likely that you go from an egocentric focus to a task-centered focus.
Theres more to this than just conscientiousness by itself. For many, helping others can make you feel good about yourself, and those positive feelings can transfer into positive thoughts, and positive thoughts about yourself and feeling good about yourself is a critical part in motivating yourself too right?
Dude, I can't wait to get Dr. K's book. It's gonna be gold.
this is amazing, and truly makes perfect sense. thank you dr. k
I love that you're talking about the Big 5. Great video, thank you.
I thought I would add another comment on how amazing your hair is 👍
I've been having a ton of issues motivating myself lately, so this video was really timely and helpful! Thanks, Doctor K
A very good idea is to _remove impediments_ of productivity, rather than try to add anything new on top - two birds, one stone
@Sanningen that does not work if someone uses the internet for resources. My computer broke and I cannot do jack shit now. Only after so many days I am adapting and finally working again.
@Sanningen That might have been something viable 10 years ago, but not now when the majority of work/school requires the use of those things. Especially during lockdown, which most of us are still in.
@Sanningen
I find myself still procrastinating through other means even when I do that.
Easier said than done if the impediment is your want to beat the hell out of your friend until his jaw is broken but being afraid of jail time.
You articulate concepts with such clarity! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! :)
Wonderful insight Dr. K. Hopefully this helps a lot of people. Much love ❤️
Helping people develops your conscientousness. Giving away things that benefit you for another human being trains your muscle for setting aside your impulses. And thus, the more you do that the more conscious you'll become
"Once clients put themselves second in relationships and not first, they start working harder in general", "so it kinda works for me, i have low conscientusness i have a very vata mind, so it helps for me to think of you guys. it's like there's things i want to do for you guys and it's like oh i have a limited time on this earth so i got to, like better get on that better get busy"
I've always loved helping people and find myself doing it to people who are even rude to me, only realizing after - I feel like so many people have just taken advantage of my kindness : /
Dr K gives incredible advice all the time, but this is one of the best pieces I've ever heard to use altruism to push conscientiousness.... Thank you so much for making this video!! I'm not a gamer but a lost college student going through a quarter life crisis and this channel is the best thing that has happened to me....
Small tip if you're alone. If you can't do something for someone else, do something for your future self.
Ah, yes. There's a Jordan Peterson quote that goes something like, "Treat yourself as someone you'd like to help." I've found it super useful tbh. Instead of speaking to yourself as "I", simply saying "we" seems to give yourself a lil buff.
Thanks Dr.K, this is gonna be the first thing I've actually applied in a while.
This feels like it might be the answer to my biggest problem that I have had for so long. I do things for people often because I enjoy doing things for them. But only the easy stuff. If its something hard I don't. I'm going to change that. Thank you
I cant wait to start helping people tomorrow. I dont want to feel resentment though so I feel like ill have to maintain awareness as I do it.
I completely agree about the low neuroticism! I had a mental health professional compliment me about how chill and worry free I am, and I feel like he doesn't understand how much it holds me back.
Like just because I'm not depressed or have anxiety about going to the stores doesn't mean I'm not struggling with basic adulting stuff.
ah yes, a video on boosting productivity the very moment I decided to give up
Nah you got this 👍
Funny, opposite for me.
Maybe I borrowed your motivation?
@@moldycarrot9267 give it back
@@StarlightTrail3
NO
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME
IT'S MINE NOW
This was so helpful. Thank you. How about a video on the topic of Aspergers?
I'm a very lazy dude who's stuck at life but recently decided to move out and now I'll probably have to work and study at the same time in order to break the distance with the girl I love, only way for us to be together was for one of us to move somewhere else
And I know it'll be fucking hard so I was looking for stuff on motivation or how to keep myself from wasting time and this video came at the absolute perfect time
Thanks Dr. K
Thanks for all the content, I had yet to find a video that I did not learn from.
This makes a lot of sense, you can see people with kids being a lot more conscientious as parents almost always have to sacrifice.
I feel like I had a good "amount" Conscientious when I was in college because I was always working towards my degree. I graduated in 2017 and for the first year or so I was enjoying my job but I knew this wasn't what I wanted to do career wise. Two years (3 since graduating) later I'm still in the same job and for the last year or so I've been really down on myself for not being able position. But this video game me a lot of insight as to how I can improve my situation and it's nice to know that I can recapture the ambition I previously had. Thanks Dr. K!
For me it's the opposite. I'm getting stuck in college because I don't know what exactly I want to use my degree for (but I still want to get it because I've come to far, and in my country you need a bachelors degree for most decent jobs) But when I have assignments with other students, or when I was at my job, I perform really well because I feel responsible for the people around me. I can only get myself to do things if others are affected by my results.
@@KarlSnarks I can relate to your situation. I was one of those kids that went to college (in the US) just because I was told it was the right thing to do after high-school. I ended up getting my major in communications and minor in psychology. Upon gradation I, still didn't really know what I wanted to do. So, now I'm in a position where my job pays well (over qualified working at major corporations) and I haven't really taken time to explore what I actually want to do our of fear of failure. You are young and have time/resources around you to help you stay honed in on your school work so that once you do graduate you can continue on the path to success (whatever that may be for you). Best of luck to you!
All of these positive things are true, I am very conscientious and it's always been good for me, unless you meet some people who really make use of it. It started to backfire as I wanted to study and do something helping for myself, but they required a lot of my help and attention, causing me to be really stressed about my work and now I am in a spiral of anxiety. The stress and time anxiety is keeping me from also helping others that are less demanding and vocal in needing help, such as friends and family and it makes me feel really bad additionally. Now I actually have trouble studying as I connect it with all that anxiety because I think I cant make it as it suddenly became very hard and I am missing on helping out the people who want/need it.
I like this style. It differs a lot from the older 'how to' type of videos you used to do. It feels more genuine to me. No longer feels like an ad
Doing things that help other people innately even teaches you to help your future self. Ultimately teaching you to raise your capability to remove instant gratification.
if you think about it doing things for someone else is a big motivator for people to do uncomfortable things irl, namely they do it to support their families. for those of us who don't have families that need supporting, maybe we can still use this mindset. I work so I can improve myself so I can provide for the world
also the people their work serves, like dr k says at the end of the video
There is a reason why I play team-based games like Left 4 Dead 2 etc is the flexibility of helping other people at least and those were years of invested in playing the goddamn game since 2016.
Whenever I help anyone else like, if I see someone before I punch in at work who needs help I’ll help them before hand, but when it comes to editing videos I can’t get started, I don’t mind doing anything for anyone else but I can’t come to work on long term goals without being impulsive
I remember when in school i would help all my classmates in their studies
and because of that i studied harder so I could help them better
maybe a solution would be to get a study buddy where you work together and help each other out in turn making both of you work harder for each other
conscientiousness is another new word for me here in Poland and I like that
Don't you love when Doctor K says kaRma not karma
Absolutely makes me smile everytime
Jordan Peterson intensifies
Kermit voice : That's exactly right ! That's the story of Cain and Abel !
hahaha
Aaaaaah! why do I actually read it with his voice in mind!?
@@SacredCASHcow psychologists do test higher on the sociopathy scale.
I unreasonably want JP to come on stream now
@@SacredCASHcow oh no i knew someone would be triggered by facts and logic lmao
This is such a mind blowing video, I've always heard this term thrown around but never looked into its meaning. This explains so much!
you are slowly changing the world vid by vid.
I needed this like rn. And Dr K delivers...
Me after doing Understand Myself by J.Peterson:
Agreeableness: Very Low (8th percentile),
Compassion: Low (21st percentile),
Politeness: Very Low (4th percentile),
Conscientiousness: Moderately High (69th percentile),
Industriousness: Moderately High (73rd percentile),
Orderliness: Moderately High (60th percentile),
Extroversion: Typical or Average (50th percentile),
Enthusiasm: Moderately Low (30th percentile),
Assertiveness: Moderately High (68th percentile),
Neuroticism: Moderately Low (36th percentile),
Withdrawal: Typical or Average (57th percentile),
Volatility: Low (21st percentile),
Openness to Experience: Very High (89th percentile),
Intellect: High (78th percentile),
Openness: Very High (90th percentile)
I'm basically a robot I guess.
Dr.K is my favorite human being
Great vid as always
Hell yeaaa
Woah, now that you mention this, I realize that the times in my life that I've been most conscientious, It's been because I had other people in mind doing those things. I worked out every day because I wanted to surprise my new girlfriend, I made music because a friend of mine seemed excited that I would release an album. I started a dnd campaign because I wanted to get my friends together to be happy. fascinating stuff.
I see a cape on his back.
Edna: NO CAPES!
Thats a chair
@@naterlate2546 whooosh.
@@iamkamx5172 you whoosh