Is Your Child Strong-Willed or Weak-Willed?
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- Опубліковано 15 жов 2019
- What we often call a strong-willed child, Charlotte Mason would call a weak-willed child.
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This reminded me so much of Ellen White's teachings! Have you come across them? Child Guidance and Adventist Home- among her other books- are all fantastic. Thank you for so clearly, practically and concisely putting together this video! Everyone should listen and reflect. God be with you. :)
wow! This was golden, totally opened my eyes to new perspective! This will change the way I parent my weak-willed 2 year old!
Excellent explanation of strong vs weak will! Love the example of exercising the will. Looking forward to more of these podcasts on the Will. Thanks so much, Sonia & SCM staff :)
Amazing! Amazing!! Having a 17, 14, 13, and 12 yr old, it’s too late for this in my house! I encourage those with small children to listen closely to Sonya, I know it’s tiresome, but you will not regret it when they are older. God Bless!
My oldest is 11. It does it harder for sure! But its never too late. Don't give up! I'm sure you can find something to encourage their will. I'm my house its video games 😂
Hi Sonia, I am curious how you would do this with lessons? I feel like my biggest battle with my daughter is this very thing but mainly with lessons and chores. After reading CM’s writing on the way of the will I realized that I have a weak will as well and grew up in a home that didn’t know any better. What would you say to mothers who need this just as much as children?
We’ll dive into more on this topic in some upcoming episodes, but for now I would encourage you to start small. So keep the lesson short and require full attention and best effort. So if the lesson is a copywork lesson, she has a choice: she can give it her best for 2 minutes and be done, or she can dawdle and be sloppy and then have to do it over again when she would rather be doing something else. If you can make the effort of will very small at the beginning, it’s easier to “step over the bar,” as it were. And the more often you step over that bar, the easier it gets. Then you can raise it a teeny bit, little by little.
Do the same thing for yourself. Choose one area in which you want to strengthen your will. Then think of a relatively easy choice you can make in that area every day. Perhaps the area is making your bed. Set the goal “bar” low to begin with. Your beginning goal might be to pull up the sheet. That’s it. It will take you less than a minute. Now if you want to do more while you’re at it, you can; but you don’t have to. In the beginning stages, you simply want to pull up the sheet every day sometime before bedtime. (And if you pull it up before you pull it back down to climb in, that counts!) Just get used to making that decision every day to pull up the sheet. When that gets easy-peasy, you can raise the bar a teeny bit, but don’t raise it too far. Try to set yourself up for success: a small choice of will every day. Small, constant touches add up.
@@SimplyCharlotteMason What would be a good definition for strong will.
@@gonzalez6073 Here's an article that defines what we mean by a strong will in a positive sense: simplycharlottemason.com/blog/the-way-of-the-will/
This is really helpful, thank you. I find that I have a strong will in some areas of life but not in others
So refreshing; more on this and other healthy habits please.
My 3 year olds emotion mob runs over poor Will quite often. I needed this tonight. Thank you
This is so true! Thanks for this video.
We use a Waldorf inspired approach, but I also like the CM approach very much.
I enjoyed this video and it was really applicable to my youngest boys! Thank you😊
I needed this SO much! 👏
Great point about the cheesecake! Very thought-provoking.
I'm so blessed with all ur Videos Sonya. Tq so much for sharing. God bless you
I feel like I fail because I’m weak willed, I’ll do ANYTHING, for two seconds of silence and leaving me alone to finish at least one thought. I need help.
Wow!! So true! I feel like I may learn alot thru this homeschooling style!!
Thanks! Look forward to it! 😘
I like what you are objecting... though i say it relates more to awareness first.. also mothers can mentor their children into shifting to making the right decision
Gracias, es excelente!!
This has definitely been eye opening. I guess most of us try to put a positive spin on something that is so negative and frustrating. Do you have any advice on how to handle those situations where the emotional mob gets the better of them? We're paying the price for years of going easy on our 5yo son who has a speech/language delay and I'm trying to correct it before it gets to be too late. We recently started co-op and I've learned that while he grudgingly shares and takes turns with his sister, he's more likely to just have a melt down when it's expected of him with other kids. I can't wait for the rest of the episodes on this topic. Habits and will is my weak point, so hopefully, I'll come away with some amazing tips to help both my kids become stronger people as I work on it myself.
We'll have more episodes on the topic of the will in the future. In the meantime, check out this free e-book on the will. It should give you some encouragement and ideas. simplycharlottemason.com/store/the-way-of-the-will/
What if you give them the option to eat everything on their plate in order to get dessert and they refuse to. And instead they just start screaming and crying because they want dessert anyway. Do you give in that first time until they start to master the concept or just let them cry?
Always think about what message you are sending by giving in. Make your expectations clear before the child is allowed to make the choice (in your example, inform the child at the beginning of the meal that to get dessert he must eat everything on his plate) and then hold to what you said. If you give in, the child will form a habit of fussing until you give in.
What would be a good definition for a strong will.
Hi, This is an excellent question! Simply put, a will that is strong is able to choose what is best/right even when that choice is hard and it is not what you want to do or feel like doing. You can read more about that idea here:
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/will-core-values-of-charlotte-mason/
but if they dont like why should we make them ?
Hi, Thank you for reaching out with your question! In a Charlotte Mason approach to education we believe in habit training. Our children will experience many things in their life as children and later as adults that they do not like, however helping them to form good habits early on will help them in so many ways. We want them to have the habit to do what they should when they don't feel like it so they can fulfill God's purpose for their lives. Here is another post on the will that helps to shed some light on this topic.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/i-am-i-can-i-ought-i-wish-i-did/
That child does not necessarily agree that what his mom wants him to do IS the right thing. I thought what my mom wanted me to do was ridiculous. Still do. It was not HARD to do the right thing. I didn't agree it WAS the right thing. Strong willed children are not controlled by their emotions, they have different ideas of right and wrong. They are angry they have to go along with things they think are wrong. Handled correctly, they grow up to be leaders, because they stand up for their ideas. I disagree with a lot of this. It also convolutes the problems of kids that are actually emotionally out of control with those who have their own ideas. There's a big distinction. Perhaps some of my disagreement is semantics, but I think some of what is being said here is just incorrect.
As parents we have a responsibility to make sure that we are using our God given authority to raise our children to have good habits that will bring glory and honor to Him. Authority can be misused and we do need to make sure that we are using it appropriately to help our children to learn and grow into the people God created them to be. Here is a link that helps to make that distinction. We would not advocate for having a child who blindly obeys everything that they are told, we do also respect our children as people and want them to be able to think for themselves and make good choices as they continue to learn and grow. Here are a few posts with some more information on this topic.
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/authority-and-obedience-core-values-of-charlotte-mason/
simplycharlottemason.com/blog/the-fence-of-authority/