Do you ask Reddit for dating advice? Timestamps Click 0:00 - Teaser/Intro 0:11 - The tweet and context 4:10 - Debate start 7:22 - "I feel that's a fair point..." 16:03 - Consequences of giving advice that doesn't map onto reality 25:25 - Shit Reddit Says and "what about the mens?"
Just don't date Just don't sex Just don't even Accept the new natural order ...Don't actually give up but -me? Unless I'm going with a friend or get an itinerary, I will not be in your house 😂 EZ fold Edit [added the following] _Dating advice from any source, I take with various amounts of salt. I check Reddit to hear stories about how common or uncommon phenomenon are. I "get advice" (that i don't really use) from UA-cam_
Had a dinner date with a girl. It was good. She invited me back to her place, and before my brain could begin formulating expectations, possibilities, or hypotheticals, she immediately contextualized it by saying "But I don't want to be physical tonight." And I said "okay." Easy. Using words works wonders.
A large problem with this take is it assumes girls/women vocalize that. Women often don't vocalize and instead assume you can read their mind. Also, if I were in that situation as the guy, I'd just say, "OK, that's cool, let's go find something else to do."
Imagine losing a debate to Destiny and he invites you back to his house afterwards. You watch him play factorio for two hours, then he blows you. Fucking weird. Guarantee that scenario has happened more than once.
@@wisemage0 denims is a lot of fun. Well at least her debates with destiny are as entertaining as listening to Indians blabber on in Indian on a meeting with the english CTO AND CEO because half of them can't speak English and need translation.
@Godded Modded that's about as biphobia as it gets man lmao, don't go around denying people's sexuality just because you disagree with them politically.
@@emilfilipov169 Indians don't speak Indian. Just as the Canadians don't speak Canadian. Hell, India is essentially collection of two dozen nation states with their own ethnic identity cobbled together.
"Actions can have social significance and certain actions, like inviting someone to your home after a date, have clear implicit meanings" "Uuuuuuh, so basically you're saying that silence is consent?!?" Every single time, these people are literally incapable of having an honest conversation.
That’s what he’s saying it’s these talking point warriors on Twitter and Reddit muddying the water that is the discussion, they hear sex and dating and they latch on to things like consent, rape and toxic masculinity, the literal worst case scenario possible.
@@bk1507 these are not opposed concepts, at all. Like, the idea that inviting someone over after a date is an implicit invitation to sex is so established that even if you have a fucking spectrum disorder that makes you completely unable to read people you should still know about it simply from cultural osmosis.
As well as the countless articles and hearsay where women will get advice about men... from other women. And men getting advice about women from other men. How bout we all just ask the other ourselves, instead.
Plenty of people online lie as some coping strategy. Advice threads and dating are the worst cause they can lie about sexual experiences without bragging, they are in fact bragging but it’s hidden under the disguise of “giving advice” When I see a post of a guy claiming he dated a girl for 5 years who just left him one day, I’m already sceptical cause there are so many details he’s not mentioning with the purpose of making himself look better. He might not be lying in this case but he’s leaving out key information on purpose.
The sad thing is subreddit he linked is specifically for people dating over 30. Having spent a bit of time on there after turning single again over 30 I can confirm most people there are in fact adults over 30, just a lot of them are totally clueless
the girl destiny's talking with has the demeanor of a therapist that doesnt know exactly know what to do with what the client's saying, but is trying her best
To me, early on in the conversation, it sounded like she knew Destiny was completely 100 percent correct but she couldn't bring herself to say as much and then finish the conversation much sooner than the entire length of this video. She had to save face and it was excruciating to listen to.
She's just completely stuck in her own ideological frame and can't think outside it, her minds just goes back to "mhm, mhm...you need to tell all men not to r 4p3 or they will do it. Mhm, mhm...women have no agency and men are r 4p1sts. Mhm." Jesus Christ.
I feel like Destiny could tweet "actually socialism isn't that bad" and single handedly shut down the online left as they try to avoid the optics of agreeing with him
I mean he has said in a debate with Perspective Philosophy that he likes the idea of socialism in theory, but he has yet to see a version that has been successful in practice which speaking as a socialist is a fair point. So I guess that boils down to "socialism isnt that bad."
@@angusmarch1066 "in theory" and "in practice" are what matters here, Destiny is honest and points out socialism's huge downfalls when tried in practice while Vaush and Hasan ignore them and snort shredded up pages of the Communist Manifesto
This is how we know the internet has destroyed a generation. Like, I would have never thought that assuming intercourse could or would take place if you invite a date to your place would be controversial.
That’s true, the assumption or expectation is there, but that doesn’t mean intercourse MUST take place. It might be that the woman changes her mind while at her place. I know Destiny acknowledges this, but I think that’s what most people that don’t know him attack him on
I believe his words on this were a bit more stringent than that. I believe he tweeted out that you shouldn’t invite someone to your house unless you’re comfortable sleeping with them.
I think a lot of people were misreading this as "if someone invites you to their house after a date, they're going to try to fuck you" when it's actually "if someone invites you to their house after a date, they're presenting sex as an option". It's totally possible that you go to their house and they decide they don't want you to stay the night or they just wait to see if you want to go further and don't instigate anything. In no world is this a substitute for consent, but it is 100% an attempt to offer the opportunity to have sex.
A billion percent! I dont get why this isn't the conversation. To me sex is way better if I feel like I have a way out- even if I'm going to have sex either way it's much more enjoyable to feel like I have the option to leave in the middle if I want.
It’s insane to me that this series of tweets stirred up so much controversy. Destiny brings up a great point - we should not conflate how dating should be in an ideal society with how dating actually is. Those Reddit comments were setting OP up for failure and potential danger. Acknowledging that isn’t victim blaming.
Why would an ideal society have a completely contrived social ritual on a date where you want to feel natural and at ease. Even as an autistic person I think we have the onus to read body language and tonality in relation to sexual situations without having to declare intent explicitly.
A major thing here except that people are mixing up hanging out with a friend vs being on a date, is the common theme of leftists/left leaning people fantasizing about the ideal scenario where everyone understands consent in the same way, has the same amount of social competence etc, whereas how Destiny talks about it is how most "regular" people will see it, it's generally understood
Leftists are generally living in their own reality. That's why they write entire paragraphs in their memes. They need to explain their punchline in the context of their own reality because otherwise normal people will not understand.
Destiny's perspective is also just the actual perspective of sex havers or anyone who has actually dated in the real world. I don't know, in my 31 years, I have NEVER given nor gotten the invite over to the house after a date to just play video games and chill... seriously never.
I'm a survivor of sexual assault when I was at college. I let a friend of a friend come hang out after a party, and I woke up to the most terrifying moments of my life. I was intoxicated, and in no position to give consent for what happened if that was what I wanted which it was not. I've also been married for 19 years. The major point is to be clear about boundaries when things go from social to intimate when and if they do to make sure that people don't make false assumptions. No still means no, but once you're alone in your own home with someone, you're not in great shape to deal with it if things go wrong. Be safe, and don't rush things.
When ancient Rome had too much "degeneracy" (sensual overload or oversensitization or hedonism), some men had enough of the wild parties and moved to a cave nearby to live calmly and quietly with nature and with less by themselves.
This is a good video. As a hopeless guy I will be honest that there are so many conflicting pieces of advice. It's either don't be yourself or just be yourself. But if being shy or socially inept is a part of what you consider to be yourself then the advice is dog shit. The advice should be to be a confident version of yourself that doesn't harm other ppl. I think the issue is that there are a bunch of non verbal queues that seem so obvious to many ppl that they never think to even mention to ppl struggling with these problems. Kind of like a job or skill that you have a bunch of subtle interactions between point A and point B. Trying to go from point A to point B without these subtle interactions leads ppl to failure. Failure leads to frustration. Also leading to a bunch of other negative outcomes. I remember not understanding the signs of a woman wanting for me to dance with her on the dance floor of a club. My friend said that the signs were obvious but never explained what the signs were. Then failed attempts in the future reinforced poor self esteem and self doubt. So even when I was almost sure of those signs I wouldn't act on them because I didn't want to make a mistake and annoy ppl. Essentially I'm a fuck up but I forgive myself.
You bring up a good point and it’s gonna need to be discussed more, this is turning into a huge problem in developed countries with men that end up alone. These set “rules” people talk about in these scenarios only matter if you’re somewhat socially competent
The rule I live by is to be happy with who I am and be confident in my own abilities, but to take every opportunity to improve myself. I always strive to become a better person than I am right now. I just tell myself “I can’t improve myself right now, at this very moment, and I have to accept that, but I can improve myself over time and as long as I’m taking steps to become a better person, I should be proud of myself”. That’s the mentality that seems to make me the most fulfilled
Hopeless guy? Goodness me. If your life revolves around dating and you aren't attractive according to the cultural norm, you're setting yourself up for failure.
@@DieNibelungenliad it’s not like you need to be attractive as a man, it’s just a plus. Also most people’s lives are centered around wanting some sort of partner
This reminds me of a thing way back in the day where Thunderf00t was being called a rape apologist because he said women should be wary of drugged drinks at a party.
@@andrepylon12 I quite like he's gone away from all the anti sjw stuff these days and focuses more on debunking stuff. Low key enjoy his content these days even though I'm more left politically.
@@subzoronltd7779 He’s actually not right wing except for the anti-feminism stuff. He posted an anti-trump video and half of his base was in an uproar.
@@roymarshall_ Ever met someone you've talked shit with online? I hated this chick actual Trump kool-aid drinker, She was a literal psycho. Met her in real life she still was as much of a crazy B as she was online, she even was racist talking about how "Obama is from Kenya". But the sex was great, loved the situation so much. Don't love her at all, but the entire thing was mad entertaining.
His tweet wasn’t super clear but when he explained it it made more sense to me . I think in an ideal world you could talk about your expectations about going back to someone’s house but it’s not always like that .
"Inviting someone over after a debate" had me laughing so hard and I'm STILL laughing! Damn that was funny, and the chat popping off about it was perfect. "So now that I've destroyed you on the free marketplace how about I destroy you in the bedroom?"
Destiny uses debate strategies to get laid. The only reason he takes his dates to restaurants is so he can eat pizza to distract them as he debates them out of their panties.
I actually fell victim to this kind of advice years ago. A girl wanted to come over and I asked a friend of mine what I should do. She basically gave me the sexless feminist take Destiny is talking about. When she got to my place she was dressed up REAL sexy like. My dumbass offered to play video games with her. I asked her if she wanted to go to the park and smoke weed. Some cringe shit like that. Looking back I realize that the advice I got was basically the worst thing I could have done. She WANTED to have sex. She came over TO HAVE SEX and what did I do? Completely went against my gut instincts. All because I wanted to be a "nice guy" and not pressure her or make her feel uncomfortable. To add insult to injury, I met her at a party some months later and she literally clowned on me for not making "a move". Now I'll just push the issue verbally or in a text before we hang out. Make it 100% clear that sex is expected.
Once a woman invited me over to her apartment, I was freaking out, why would she want me in a private location, just the two of us? Afterwards I realized that she was a heterosexual, which I am not
Things you randomly brought up ended up helping me, even though I don't think it was your intention. 19:50, I've never dated before and a girl was giving me weird signals, being very touchy, even cuddling me, and generally being very sweet to me, wasn't interested in me at all. I was strung along like this for a while and it really messed with my head. Thanks for helping me realize how this is even weirder than I thought it was.
/r/WitchesvsPatriarchy is one of the most toxic and intolerable subreddits on that site. You get banned instantly for disagreeing with some of the most craziest takes out there. There is no discussion to be had, just a toxic echo chamber.
I think a lot of people are arguing how things ought to be not how things are. I wish I lived in a world like those people are describing it. It would probably make it a lot easier to get women to come over to the social room in my condo building with a poker table and pool table, it would make it way easier to have cheap fun dates. But women are often hesitant because they know what the implication is of going to someone's place is and how are they even supposed to know if this room actually exists?
I'll be honest , for shy , and socially timid guys like myself, the whole "inviting someone after a date and getting straight into sex" doesent happen so easily. It may take a few visits in a personal space to get comfortable enough to then become open to a possibility for sexual activity. Usually society expects women to be like this..but nope , there are plenty of men who will get comfy , but not comfy enough for sex. So inviting someone you like to your home, but not "f*cking" them can be a sign that you are gradually getting more comfortable with them since they are in your place of security, aka your house or place of residence. Destiny is right , people in society will expect you to have sex more often or not when you invite them after you've been hanging with them or dating (if your attracted to them and its mutual) But not everyone wants to get physical straight away. even if they are attracted to person. They can still be comfy (this is just how I feel anyway) of course in this world we live in atm, the assumption is that you want sex straight away, or if you dont initiate...esspecially as a guy..your apparently not interested. So theres no winning And its even worse when the girl invites you over , or initiates. Men who are shy or timid tend to be avoidant of sexual scenarios because of the shyness and insecurity. Its tough af. Because when you dont play along...again, its seen as though your not interested. What a shy guy supposed to do ? Idk
@@chaotika693 yeah, perhaps it should be spoken about more tbh. Because were just seen as weirdos since we dont fit into the socially accepted framework of getting straight into it🤣it's good to know others feel the same though, thanks
When he was talking about looking back 9 years and wondering if the girl was making a move - there were actual flashbacks occurring in my brain. Shame. Pain.
I'm a woman and I've had the same experience with guys looking back. Didn't realize they were flirting with me until years later. It happens to the best of us!
@@RoseEyed one time this girl wouldn't let me leave the bar by myself, put me in her car, and then in her bed with her- in my head the entire time I was like- "wow this girl really cares that I make it home safe." WHAT
@@josephb456 ha yeah that one was pretty obvious. I know one college classmate and I both liked this one show, so we agreed to watch it live in the dorm lounge every week. One week he said he needed to go to his room to get something and I agreed to go with him since the show hadn’t started yet. Honestly didn’t think anything of it-I really did see this dude as a friend and I really was just there to watch the show. So in his room I’m sitting on his couch and he takes off his shirt cause it “had a stain on it.” I had no reaction. We go back to the lounge and watch the show. Years later I realize he may have thought I wanted to sleep with him and did the whole “dorm room shirt thing” as a way to see if I was interested. Clearly I wasn’t. But that’s ALSO why double checking to see if the person really is interested before making a move is so important. Would’ve been really awkward otherwise. XD
This is so true. I understand it is difficult for people to want to talk openly about the complexities of consent, but the alternative, of NOT talking about it or giving idealistic information, is just as damaging if not more so and even potentially dangerous.
That would be great, politics may be more pressing on a large scale, but I speak to so many people that just want to talk about how to navigate the world as it seems to them. Maybe it's me being overly optimistic but I think people with congruent personal lives will make sounder decisions overall.
This literally isn't complicated. If you don't want to fuck someone that you've gone on a date with, don't invite them to your home. If you do invite them, your actions imply consent. Don't be rubbing all up on someone if you don't wanna fuck. You can use words if you prefer. If they start doing something you don't like, you can just say no to a specific thing. When the hell did this get so messed up?
What? Consent is meant to be enthusiastic and explicit. Just because someone invited you to their home doesn't necessarily mean that they want to have sex with you. It's not really complicated. You should just ask the other person. Silence is not consent.
I don't know if this is cringe or what but my favorite types of videos from Destiny are these ones where he just discusses a topic in the social world outside of politics and mostly just focuses on explain his experiences and how he thinks through them. I've always been a anxious dude so most of my time is spent alone where I'm comfortable but recently I've been trying to interact with more people and build new habits and such. So watching these social focused videos helps me feel like I'm "catching up" on a lot of social experiences I never had due to my insecurities and just general fears of going outside and meeting new people. So thanks dude.
The most stupid part of this whole thing is the idea that setting up the expectation of sex is somehow entitling someone to sex. Yes, inviting someone to your place after a date is setting up the expectation for sex. No, inviting someone over after a date does not entitle them to sex (nor does anything else).
I'm sort of new to Destiny's videos. But it always seems like the people he's debating are just trying to maneuver themselves into a position where they can demand an apology, and get an optics win. Maybe I'm getting old and this is how zoomers talk but it seems pretty bad faith to me.
I legitimately think they build up this caricature of destiny as super reactionary and unthoughtful about his positions. Then when they actually speak to him and he expands on his take they immediately realize they were somewhat uncharitable, but still attempt to dance around agreeing with him.
it‘s just that for the most part destiny debates idiots. It has nothing to do with zommer slang. He himself in one of his older videos said that he is specifically looking for idiots because that‘s more entertaining for his audience.
I do agree with the notion that *lack* of awareness of this expectation is probably correlated with how much time an individual spends online and where they spend it. This "unwritten" expectation is learned through actual, real life interactions or direct relationships with those who have had them. Those who view online interaction as the foundation for socialization will likely be confused, at best. Particularly when the "unwritten" expectation is that everything in life can be learned through a google search and studies. And when it doesnt, it is assumed that those real life interactions should conform with the ignorance rather than dispel it.
This is akin to being 8 and inviting an acquaintance over to your house - then when you get there you open your books and start with homework/studying and assume they will just fall in line to do the same. At that age (8) the norm for inviting a new friend over is to play! Get some snacks and fire up some video games etc. If you wanted to invite your new smart friend over to help with math homework, you would of course clarify that ahead of time as it is not the 'expected' generic 'hey wanna come over to my house (implied: to play)?' at 30+ trying to date, the implication has long moved away from 'do you wanna come over (to play boardgames/etc)' to what Destiny is suggesting - of course people should know this. If you wanted to invite someone over for some other reason, explain that to them at the point of inviting them, so that you don't send wrong signals.
The best point made in this discussion is actually how twitter is not a good place for discourse. The site, and just about everyone on it, thrives on controversy. You have people saying that this person or that person has been mind fucked by online discourse but don't seem to see how it has infected them. I can't count how many times Destiny kept saying 'lefties online this' or 'lefties online that' and a plurality of his videos and just about everyone of his conversations are infected with the phantom of online twitter warriors. Seems like 95% of it is Twitter bullshit. All this dumb shit makes everyone crazy. Meanwhile IRL when I tell my niece 'don't invite guys home' I don't have to warrior about twitter mobs or have to worry about twitter hate. Probably best to tell people not to shop online for real world dating advice.
That's sorta just human nature though isn't it? If it wasn't Twitter, it would be another site. We love bickering, arguing, getting one-ups on each other and even better if it can be done with some anonymity from behind a screen? Of course people are going to engage in sensationalist nonsense just for the hell of it
I've had these arguments with the exact same people man. I was using the phrase ya gotta learn to play the game, a normal phrase. I got attacked for saying IT ISNT A GAME! I was like, do you know what I mean lol?
If your intention was to talk about how to stay safe then yeah, I don't think they understood what you meant. 'Game' was a term in the pick-up artist community, and most people nowadays understand 'having game' to mean you manipulate people in order to sleep with them.
@@chasingepiphanies7993 Ya no, I meant it more in terms of the older way. Kind of like the ebb and flow of interactions and reading each other, basically courting.
Thats also been my experience. We're thet young leftists? Theyre so highly focused on rhetoric that they completely miss meaning. Its like at some point people got so autistic about rhetoric they cant communicate in the real world, and god forbid if you like romantic language and metaphors.
@@crushinnihilism Basically ya, they were younger, idk about leftist in particular. They just got butt hurt about it and assumed I was gamifying women or something stupid
I love how it goes to "silence is consent" frame immedeatly. Destiny was just saying you should only invite someone over after a date if you believe theres a possibilty and you would be comfortable with it, he didn't say "oooh boy you gon get some" neither did he say to "expect to get it, guaranteed", people interact its not "hey we're here let's have sex" and at any time if the other person doesn't want it or is not comfortable or had the wrong idea it stops
Have totally had the experience of being actively picked up at my place of work, i took her out to a late night, we went back to her hotel room, and once there she started playing hard to get, to a point where I felt like there was not consent. Then she (while wearing a t-shirt only in the bed with me wearing boxers only) said, "I think you should take what you want." OH, she has a dominance kink. Now she has affirmatively made it clear and a great time was had by all. These situations are difficult to navigate.
I find it funny-sad how some women don't 'get' when we're looking for consent. I've definitely been written off before as 'not into bdsm' because I wasn't socially aggressive, lol.
Most people use twitter as an optics platform and that’s all that matters to them. Definitely not the place to go for actual discourse but she seemed fairly reasonable one-on-one
Seems like miscommuncation on all sides. Destiny puts emphasis on the importance of reading situations and understanding assumptions we make when dating. The guest puts emphasis on communication so people can go beyond relying on such assumptions. Then they misinterpret each other as saying 'We should never make assumptions", or "We should always assume rather than communicate." But in reality they pretty much agree that we should both learn to communicate better and to accurately read social cues.
How in the name of god is 'if you invite someone back to your place they will assume sex is happening' a controversial take? That's important for young people starting out dating to be clear about. They will read this insane discourse and put themselves at more risk.
*guy* : hey, wanna come over to my place for some *SMASH* ? *girl* : heck yeah! (turns on nintendo switch) *girl* : oh! when you said smash I thought- *guy* : HELL YEAH! Some Super SMASH! Who do you main? I'm a Link main. *girl* : heh, okay yeah I like smash, I main Bayonetta! *guy* : .......this isnt going to work, please leave my apartment.
Ever since Actual Jake has had this hard on for going after Destiny, I stopped watching him. He's had so many bad takes that I didn't notice until after he started going after Steven for no reason. Every time I think I found a lefty that isn't insane, they prove me wrong.
there are plenty of normal lefties in Europe. In the USA it has become somewhat of a fashion trend, so of course youll have random kids from the internet putting it on...
@@karimshebeika8010 very true. I've noticed this myself. It might have something to do with that those in Europe have actually experienced things like socialism, communism & all that. So they're alot more connected to reality than those here in the US.
@@chrismcnuggett it's almost like Jake has been just trying to pick fights with Destiny. I think he wants to debate him but he doesn't want to say it so he just picks fights with him instead. Or he thinks picking fights with him will get him more followers since it's the "cool" thing to do for the leftys.
I don't get why everyone is misquoting the post like destiny does at 1:42 It wasn't "Invited over after the date" It was "invited over for the second date" It changes the implications. Inviting someone in after a date is a pretty clear sign. Inviting someone over *for* a date is not so clear a sign. There are ways to clear that up over the course of the date but c'mon. Let's not act like it's an all-access pass to the bone zone.
No one said it’s it’s an all access pass to bone zone, arguing against no one at all. It’s about safety and not putting yourself in a sketchy situation where expectations can be misaligned between the two people
I'm not sure how this really changes the implication. It's not an "all-access pass to the bone zone". That isn't the argument being put forward. It's that inviting someone over after a date generally implies sex. This isn't a new concept by any means.
Wait, who acts like an invite for a date equals consent to anything? It's just a sign and the people inviting should be aware of that expectation. Doesn't mean they have to have sex with every person they invite for a date. You understand you're derailing the conversation to rape exactly how Destiny was saying, right?
why the fuck would a woman invite a man to her house unless she was comfortable enough with him to have sex with him? for a date or after a date, it changes nothing about what destiny says. Both end up with a practical stranger being in your house now he knows where you live.
The advice is the same: "Dont invite someone u do not want to have sex with to ur home as a date." U are trying to muddy the water. To complicate the situation and add some more conditions and make it look like someone is trying to bypass consent. But its very simple: "Dont invite someone u do not want to have sex with to ur home as a date." It goes for first dates, second dates, after-dates, every type of date there is... And nobody said that once u get invited to someones home its a bone-time. Its just poeple like u again tryin to frame it as some rape culture.
As a woman with high functioning social anxiety I prefer explicit verbal over non-verbal cues. We're in a transitionary period. We didn't talk much about consent or assault before outside of VERY obvious situations. Now that that conversation is broadening, it will take time to establish best practices. (One reason I prefer direct communication.) Because of how sensitive the topic is I see the disconnect. It's similar to ones about the friendzone, dating someone much older, or if you should be expected to have sex if someone paid for dinner. How people interpret what you say is influenced by their personal experiences--especially when gender is involved. The original statement "don't invite someone over your house unless you're comfortable having sex with them" can imply "since you invited them over now you're EXPECTED to have sex with them and if you don't you're a tease." That's obviously not the intent, but if someone's had a negative experience like that, they may jump to that uncharitable interpretation. I also think both had valid points. We should be striving to avoid miscommunications by lessening our assumptions while ALSO acknowledging the current world. So, yes these are nonverbal cues someone may interpret as a sexual advance. Look out for them if you're on the receiving end and be careful not to do them if you don't mean to. AND. If you think you're getting these cues, ask to make sure you're not misinterpreting them.
I don't use reddit for learning. I typically use sources like Books,UA-cam, wikihow. Reddit does not appeal to me because it is pretty much limited in what it offers that pales in comparison to ideal sources.
There should be a speedrun timer for these twitter reactionaries debates, cuz they always end up the same lmao. Reading the "controversial" tweet in its entirety, walking them through it sentence by sentece, reactionary taking back their heated replies, pushing back on some of Destiny's rhetoric and ultimately agreeing with the take they've malded over the last 24-48 hours.
The thing that frustrates me is that I don't really think Destiny really made the distinction between the advice that he gives the girl in the scenario and the advice he gives the guy. 1. Does inviting people to your house indicate that you're interested in sex to most people? Yes. 2. Does being invited to someone's house indicate that they're interested in sex? It's quite likely that it does, but it's not consent, and until there's clear, enthusiastic consent, don't get your hopes up for anything. 3. To both parties, be sure that you're being as clear as possible with what you want. While I think that people should know what he means given his content, I think that he still could've done more to stop himself from being interpreted this way once he saw that he was. Saying "no, that's not what I mean, you bad faith, terminally online, socially awkward leftie virgin" doesn't clarify things as much as he seems to think it does and it makes me think he just does it for drama.
I get what Destiny is saying. However, I would rather like to live in a world where you can invite people of the opposite sex over without their being an expectation of sex.
@@fraggberth if i invite someone over for a date i would wanna game and watch movies and shows and talk, I dont need sex unless she wants to. obviously id want to but i wouldnt expect anything with touch
Look Autismo, other people can't read your mind. Some will choose to see the tweet as bad, but some people will genuinly see it like that. Me as a long term fan of D-dog knew what you meant, but that's ONLY because I've watch well over 1000 hours of your shit!
You don't have to be fan of Destiny or watch 1000 hours of his content, english doesn't have to be your native language to understand this tweet. People are just trying to make it into something that it is not.
@@uHasioorr never watched this dude before except when he debated a couple people a few years ago, forgot about him completely. don't know his positions on stuff really. that tweet is trifling shit, this is nonsense. anybody who thinks this is controversial is an idiot.
I agree that most people will expect sex in this scenario, but getting an enthusiastic consent is a must before having sex with someone. People might change their mood once they hit the crib
While I am openly critical of Destiny’s takes on lefties, he is absolutely correct about this one. Since it is impossible to fully know someone’s intent, then the assumption should be based on reality and not hopes and dreams. If you are on a date and they invite you home afterwords, the implication is sex. Otherwise you have just made a possibly awkward goodbye that much more awkward by making it goodbye and please leave my house. Destiny is absolutely correct that unless they have had a clear and open conversation of expectations and what may happen, it is setting people up for lots of problems. Where I do disagree with Destiny is the attacks he’s faced are because of lefty wokeness. Maybe In that one specific instance that was the case, but I think it is just the fact the internet is a toxic dump full of idiots that is the bigger problem. Comment about literally anything at any time and you are likely to have people jump in to argue and fight and call you stupid for thinking X. The other day I commented on a boardgame I liked and people were responding about how wrong I was and the game is garbage, etc. People have this idea that if they can shit on something or someone it means they are better or smarter. It’s an ego-driven bully tactic the internet has normalized and standardized and it fucking sucks and helps nobody and contributes nothing. But it seems to be 90% of internet “engagement” these days.
And it makes sense to because where does sex most often take place? In someone's house in the bedroom. So of course if you invite someone into their house after a date it makes sense as to why they would think sex is going to happen because it normally happens their. If you wanted to just hang out more you could've gone to any other place and done it, or if you are going to your house, then make it clear sex isn't going to happen because you're not into doing that.🤷🏼♂️ That's how I see it.
Destiny used the word, "comfortable." This actually covers any and all scenarios about things privacy, disclosure, etc. Trusting someone to bring them into your home...you should be fully comfortable with all scenarios that could transpire. Otherwise, you put yourself in danger. If you know what the Line is for your own protection, draw it, communicate it, and do not compromise. This should be easy.
That initial tweet only makes sense if you’re inviting them home from a certain kind of date. But I should still say, Women: it’s understandable if a guy expects sex after you invite him home on a date and is disappointed when you actually don’t. Men: It’s okay if she invites you home and it turns out she doesn’t want sex. If she says no when push comes to shove, she says no.
Generally speaking, I think it's best to bring up both things together rather than just promoting one or the other. Having someone come to your place or going to someone's place, in terms of dating, you personally shouldn't expect that to mean sex is going to be involved. However, you should also realize that most people will think that expectation is implied. Both of these are good advice that won't detract from the conversation while also helping to move us closer to the way we'd like the dating culture to be in the future. Anyone just getting one half of that advice isn't working with optimal advice.
I think its better to say that inviting someone over in a date context shouldn't mean that sex will be followed through- but that it should be assumed that sex is a considered potential for both parties.
@@Skinnymarks Yeah, that's basically what I'm saying without the extra details and explanations as to why... and probably worded better in terms of giving advice. As long as both parts are being addressed.
@@SamuelRyanLilly Knowing the implication (going over means the possibility of sex exists) while both parties feeling comfortable using communicating how far they're willing to go with the other respecting that boundary is how I assume things work at this point
How is it even possible to grow up and not gain any understanding of what a home is? How deep do you have to be buried in the sand to achieve this level of incompetence?
It depends on the guy, I've invited girls I've liked over just to chill before. Some women just like to come over and drink a cup of wine and watch some movies when you're first getting to know each other. Then again, I'm the type of guy that looks for girlfriends as opposed to girls to just smash. I know that most guys think how Destiny described it though. Women should make it clear that that's not what they're planning to do if they agree to go over a guy's house. Otherwise, most men will assume that they're dtf.
OK but just because a guy assumed that she wanted to have sex, he shouldn't force her to have sex with him. We should always get an explicit and implicit yes before getting laid with someone
It's odd to find out not inviting strangers to your house isn't the norm everywhere. Certainly not how it goes in New England. No reason for us to be in each other's business that deep right away.
1:20 "What does your house have that no where else you can get?" *me: Tacos "Exactly right! First try, it's privacy." *me:.... Man, I am terminally dumb sometimes.....
The thing that screws up consent so much is that the whole "maybe game" is so exiting. The uncertainty is the thing that turns us on. It also suppose to be hard to rout out those of us with neuro-diversity or lack of social intelligence from the gene-pool. It sucks, but that's the way it is.
Banger points but my only problem with this video is the chick was super fucking chill and reasonable but destiny was kinda treating her like she represents the dipshits coming after him which is understandable because he must've felt combative from frustration
I instantly understood the tweet. Who are these people that need this so painstakingly spelled out for them? Are they just so fucking inept at life that they need their hand held at every single point in life? Holy shit
I agree with most of this. The problem is that people only give advice based on biased opinions about certain topics, not actual facts. Because in the end it’s easier to blame someone who isn’t part of the game rather than the player who fucked up at their job
avoid the internet for dating advice. Be kind, but dont be a simp. Ok i said that on the internet but still I'm trying to make the world a better place
Dating is pretty easy from my perspective. The hard part is overcoming all the insecurities you have while being mentally stable enough to deal with your partners. Eye contact, make them laugh, ask them to go on a walk, become more comfortable, etc.. works for me. But I never try anymore. Just another emotional nuke waiting to happen LOL. Also... body language and actually knowing when a girl is into you is huge.. maybe that's where people have issues..? I mean if you're obese or give off a tone of "I'm a rude asshole", probably need to fix that first, or lower your standards and do the best you can and be happy with yourself, then it'll be easier, no one wants a negative asshat, so if you have some sort of disability, knowing how to navigate that and use it to your advantage is also huge, like im a stuttery stupid mess irl, but I can play with that to make people laugh, overcoming something for someone else is a nice gesture. I feel like people are focusing on how people react to their behaviour because that's easier then fixing their own, which is kinda scary. Also dating strangers without any sort of precontext of a shared interest or at least talking to each other to feel each other out is sus.. the only use I see of tinder is like... location based matching so if you're talking to a girl at work that's an easy way in. Buuut, fuck those random stranger matches, imo.
@@permets2apollox453 That's anecdotal, statistically autists are heavily disadvantaged, my anecdote being my friend who is autistic is very unstable and incapable of maintaining friendships which is sad to say
@@PuertoRicanGrinderXSpeaking as an autist, you can fix your behavior even if you are autistic, social skills are still a skill, and therefore you can get better at it.
well there is the uncertain relationships where it haven't been established if he or she is just a friend and by inviting them over it is an implied sexual invitation. and it is that unless there are words establishing that there's nothing that's gonna happen which can't be misconstrued to be flirtatious or playing hard to get. where it actually is more troublesome is when you're already established to be just friends, or you have friends that are friends with them and you're just hanging around each other just being friendly then it's implied you're just friendly until one or the other reaches to try and be more than that. for example if a friend of a friend asks you to come over and hang, it's a tricky situation because they might want to spring a sexual invitation on you, but you can't assume it's gonna be that. it could just be that they wanted to be closer as a friend with you. or if you're already friends then coming to hangout is just gonna be the assumption that you're going there to hangout and nothing else. so how do you try to cross the border between just being a friendly face to "i want to fuck you" when you're in that position without coming on too strong and or not getting it across at all and ending up doing something really fucking stupid like inviting someone over and flirt but the signal wasn't received and you couldn't tell so you try to lean in for the kiss and you get rejected and now both are feeling fucking awkward as fuck about it, and this is just a mild case of stupidity. now i think there are 2 ways you can reach across and try to convey that shit, either you are being very blunt and say what you want. or you lead them in and try to feel it out to see how they react to several small instances of distance closing things you do.
In the mind of a misogynist everything is womens fault.Which is way no women have to date one EVER.We are learning that and they mad about it.Many many good mens out there .Why waste time with those idiots?
Do you ask Reddit for dating advice?
Timestamps Click
0:00 - Teaser/Intro
0:11 - The tweet and context
4:10 - Debate start
7:22 - "I feel that's a fair point..."
16:03 - Consequences of giving advice that doesn't map onto reality
25:25 - Shit Reddit Says and "what about the mens?"
I ask your....
I ask your mom
reddit
Just don't date
Just don't sex
Just don't even
Accept the new natural order
...Don't actually give up but -me? Unless I'm going with a friend or get an itinerary, I will not be in your house 😂 EZ fold
Edit [added the following]
_Dating advice from any source, I take with various amounts of salt. I check Reddit to hear stories about how common or uncommon phenomenon are. I "get advice" (that i don't really use) from UA-cam_
Reddit always provides the best answers. I default to reddit for legal advice, relationship advice, life advice, and advice on where to get advice.
C'mon, we all know you invite Hassan over to play games because of the... implication.
Had a dinner date with a girl. It was good. She invited me back to her place, and before my brain could begin formulating expectations, possibilities, or hypotheticals, she immediately contextualized it by saying "But I don't want to be physical tonight." And I said "okay." Easy. Using words works wonders.
Using words with actual other human beings is super hard for these depersonalized Twitter and video game addicts that are terminally online.
Wait what???? Lmao did you guys play fortnite or something?
@@ActuallyJozu
Using your wer-erds?
How does one learn this power oh wise one :O
Right after she said that, I’d have a ghost call from my “aunt” that her dog is sick. Buh-Bye!!!
A large problem with this take is it assumes girls/women vocalize that. Women often don't vocalize and instead assume you can read their mind.
Also, if I were in that situation as the guy, I'd just say, "OK, that's cool, let's go find something else to do."
Imagine losing a debate to Destiny and he invites you back to his house afterwards. You watch him play factorio for two hours, then he blows you. Fucking weird. Guarantee that scenario has happened more than once.
Kinda hot honestly
he said he's never invited a dude over
@@wisemage0 denims is a lot of fun. Well at least her debates with destiny are as entertaining as listening to Indians blabber on in Indian on a meeting with the english CTO AND CEO because half of them can't speak English and need translation.
@Godded Modded that's about as biphobia as it gets man lmao, don't go around denying people's sexuality just because you disagree with them politically.
@@emilfilipov169 Indians don't speak Indian. Just as the Canadians don't speak Canadian. Hell, India is essentially collection of two dozen nation states with their own ethnic identity cobbled together.
"Actions can have social significance and certain actions, like inviting someone to your home after a date, have clear implicit meanings"
"Uuuuuuh, so basically you're saying that silence is consent?!?"
Every single time, these people are literally incapable of having an honest conversation.
To be fair this person just seemed to have become so confused and deranged by all the dogshit takes out there, she didn't come off as bad faith to me.
That’s what he’s saying it’s these talking point warriors on Twitter and Reddit muddying the water that is the discussion, they hear sex and dating and they latch on to things like consent, rape and toxic masculinity, the literal worst case scenario possible.
@@uhhhfrick9767 well um acshually... 🤓☝
clear, implicit. choose one.
@@bk1507 these are not opposed concepts, at all.
Like, the idea that inviting someone over after a date is an implicit invitation to sex is so established that even if you have a fucking spectrum disorder that makes you completely unable to read people you should still know about it simply from cultural osmosis.
Dating Subs should REALLY have a disclaimer that you are getting advice from teenagers who have never dated.
As well as the countless articles and hearsay where women will get advice about men... from other women.
And men getting advice about women from other men.
How bout we all just ask the other ourselves, instead.
Plenty of people online lie as some coping strategy. Advice threads and dating are the worst cause they can lie about sexual experiences without bragging, they are in fact bragging but it’s hidden under the disguise of “giving advice”
When I see a post of a guy claiming he dated a girl for 5 years who just left him one day, I’m already sceptical cause there are so many details he’s not mentioning with the purpose of making himself look better. He might not be lying in this case but he’s leaving out key information on purpose.
The sad thing is subreddit he linked is specifically for people dating over 30. Having spent a bit of time on there after turning single again over 30 I can confirm most people there are in fact adults over 30, just a lot of them are totally clueless
@@StoneEdwards the pool of incel-like 30 year olds is rapidly expanding.
@@xDDufiosy yeah that's fair. For the most part this sub has good advice though, just some takes like that one can be a little off.
Only Twitter/Reddit could turn advice such as telling women "don't invite strange men over to your place" into a Pro-rape stance 😂
the girl destiny's talking with has the demeanor of a therapist that doesnt know exactly know what to do with what the client's saying, but is trying her best
hahaha, yeah
she doesn't even sound like she knows what she is talking about.
To me, early on in the conversation, it sounded like she knew Destiny was completely 100 percent correct but she couldn't bring herself to say as much and then finish the conversation much sooner than the entire length of this video. She had to save face and it was excruciating to listen to.
She's just completely stuck in her own ideological frame and can't think outside it, her minds just goes back to "mhm, mhm...you need to tell all men not to r 4p3 or they will do it. Mhm, mhm...women have no agency and men are r 4p1sts. Mhm." Jesus Christ.
That is so spot on. Dishonesty is at the heart of it.
I feel so bad people trying to date right now. It seems horribly overcomplicated and I can see why a lot of people are avoiding trying to date at all.
I kind of just gave up. Been single for 4 years now. If I find someone that I’m compatible with cool but I’m not fretting over it either
@@Scalesti What caused you to give up??
@@55Noco you forgot to mention it's overcomplicated for men women are doing great.
@@hunterthompson6737 I wouldn't say that, its complicated for both sexes rn in my opinion. Just in different ways.
Whenever I go out Im so glad not to be single. Everything is about social media now and I never made an account
I feel like Destiny could tweet "actually socialism isn't that bad" and single handedly shut down the online left as they try to avoid the optics of agreeing with him
True
They'll slip on the banana and want a Monarchy unironically
I mean he has said in a debate with Perspective Philosophy that he likes the idea of socialism in theory, but he has yet to see a version that has been successful in practice which speaking as a socialist is a fair point. So I guess that boils down to "socialism isnt that bad."
@@angusmarch1066 "in theory" and "in practice" are what matters here, Destiny is honest and points out socialism's huge downfalls when tried in practice while Vaush and Hasan ignore them and snort shredded up pages of the Communist Manifesto
Lol Perhaps.
1:43 "We're talking about inviting someone over after a deba... date"
lol
Vaush was right, debates DO make Destiny horny. 😳
@@toomuchmidi destiny: "talk dirty to me"
Vaush: " I've surpassed you intellectually"
@@joeandrew8752 Destiny is so horny that he keeps it on repeat, even while he streams.
I had to go back to listen again.
God damnit lol
Erotic fan fic in the making
This is how we know the internet has destroyed a generation. Like, I would have never thought that assuming intercourse could or would take place if you invite a date to your place would be controversial.
That’s true, the assumption or expectation is there, but that doesn’t mean intercourse MUST take place. It might be that the woman changes her mind while at her place. I know Destiny acknowledges this, but I think that’s what most people that don’t know him attack him on
I believe his words on this were a bit more stringent than that. I believe he tweeted out that you shouldn’t invite someone to your house unless you’re comfortable sleeping with them.
it's controversial on the internet but IRL no one thinks like this
So controversial that they label you a
RP LMAO like gtfo with that garbage.
Twitter breeds Brain rot
It's never been controversial to me or anyone I know around my age. Pretty wild.
It's a mistake in general to take dating advice from a Yu Gi Oh villain.
Are you about to tell me Yubel isn't a villain?
@@hazzardalsohazzard2624 Yubel is definitely a villain, but being a mommy gf supercedes that.
@@WildSeven19 Oh Mommy gf villain, please give me dating advice.
"Oh JAAAAAA-dennnnnn. Wanna come back to my dimension?"
I think a lot of people were misreading this as "if someone invites you to their house after a date, they're going to try to fuck you" when it's actually "if someone invites you to their house after a date, they're presenting sex as an option". It's totally possible that you go to their house and they decide they don't want you to stay the night or they just wait to see if you want to go further and don't instigate anything. In no world is this a substitute for consent, but it is 100% an attempt to offer the opportunity to have sex.
A billion percent!
I dont get why this isn't the conversation. To me sex is way better if I feel like I have a way out- even if I'm going to have sex either way it's much more enjoyable to feel like I have the option to leave in the middle if I want.
Solid articulation
If you don't want to have sex state it or don't go. It's not rocket science.
@@edwardrichard8093 This implies that going to someone's house after a date is in itself consent.
Yeah but these people don’t go outside so the Twitter position has already done it’s work in their brains.
It’s insane to me that this series of tweets stirred up so much controversy. Destiny brings up a great point - we should not conflate how dating should be in an ideal society with how dating actually is. Those Reddit comments were setting OP up for failure and potential danger. Acknowledging that isn’t victim blaming.
Why would an ideal society have a completely contrived social ritual on a date where you want to feel natural and at ease.
Even as an autistic person I think we have the onus to read body language and tonality in relation to sexual situations without having to declare intent explicitly.
@@jamrollz
That's the point. The "ideal society" _is_ that assumption where you can simply dismiss implicit norms.
@@Synodalian You cant as most of human communication is non verbal...
Its so funny how anything Destiny tweets becomes discourse for at least a week lol
Edit: also squadW my Maaan 😎
*Destiny's friend 👀
Destiny lives rent free in the heads of rose Twitter, they all hate him but all follow him
Wait until vaush picks it up
@@everybodywantsitall9827 nah he has outpaced him intellectually...
He tweets with that specific intent, like his tweets are obviously bait
A major thing here except that people are mixing up hanging out with a friend vs being on a date, is the common theme of leftists/left leaning people fantasizing about the ideal scenario where everyone understands consent in the same way, has the same amount of social competence etc, whereas how Destiny talks about it is how most "regular" people will see it, it's generally understood
Leftists are generally living in their own reality. That's why they write entire paragraphs in their memes. They need to explain their punchline in the context of their own reality because otherwise normal people will not understand.
Didn't watch the video yet, but judging from the comment, is she one of those women who think it's sexual harassment to ask a woman out on a date?
Destiny's perspective is also just the actual perspective of sex havers or anyone who has actually dated in the real world. I don't know, in my 31 years, I have NEVER given nor gotten the invite over to the house after a date to just play video games and chill... seriously never.
@@michaelschupska2047 I did but that was the literal point of the after date plan (we still had sex the morning after though)
100%
I'm a survivor of sexual assault when I was at college. I let a friend of a friend come hang out after a party, and I woke up to the most terrifying moments of my life. I was intoxicated, and in no position to give consent for what happened if that was what I wanted which it was not. I've also been married for 19 years. The major point is to be clear about boundaries when things go from social to intimate when and if they do to make sure that people don't make false assumptions. No still means no, but once you're alone in your own home with someone, you're not in great shape to deal with it if things go wrong. Be safe, and don't rush things.
Celibacy is the only solution here 😌
blue hair
When ancient Rome had too much "degeneracy" (sensual overload or oversensitization or hedonism), some men had enough of the wild parties and moved to a cave nearby to live calmly and quietly with nature and with less by themselves.
@@DieNibelungenliad sounds made up
sounds gay
Not long until i will become a wizard
This is a good video. As a hopeless guy I will be honest that there are so many conflicting pieces of advice. It's either don't be yourself or just be yourself. But if being shy or socially inept is a part of what you consider to be yourself then the advice is dog shit. The advice should be to be a confident version of yourself that doesn't harm other ppl. I think the issue is that there are a bunch of non verbal queues that seem so obvious to many ppl that they never think to even mention to ppl struggling with these problems. Kind of like a job or skill that you have a bunch of subtle interactions between point A and point B. Trying to go from point A to point B without these subtle interactions leads ppl to failure. Failure leads to frustration. Also leading to a bunch of other negative outcomes. I remember not understanding the signs of a woman wanting for me to dance with her on the dance floor of a club. My friend said that the signs were obvious but never explained what the signs were. Then failed attempts in the future reinforced poor self esteem and self doubt. So even when I was almost sure of those signs I wouldn't act on them because I didn't want to make a mistake and annoy ppl. Essentially I'm a fuck up but I forgive myself.
You bring up a good point and it’s gonna need to be discussed more, this is turning into a huge problem in developed countries with men that end up alone. These set “rules” people talk about in these scenarios only matter if you’re somewhat socially competent
The rule I live by is to be happy with who I am and be confident in my own abilities, but to take every opportunity to improve myself. I always strive to become a better person than I am right now. I just tell myself “I can’t improve myself right now, at this very moment, and I have to accept that, but I can improve myself over time and as long as I’m taking steps to become a better person, I should be proud of myself”. That’s the mentality that seems to make me the most fulfilled
Hopeless guy? Goodness me. If your life revolves around dating and you aren't attractive according to the cultural norm, you're setting yourself up for failure.
Watch Maccabre Storytelling’s video on Dating. He talks about that in a pretty good segment and gives some pretty solid advice.
@@DieNibelungenliad it’s not like you need to be attractive as a man, it’s just a plus. Also most people’s lives are centered around wanting some sort of partner
This reminds me of a thing way back in the day where Thunderf00t was being called a rape apologist because he said women should be wary of drugged drinks at a party.
Good old thunderf00t I miss his old incarnation.
@@andrepylon12 What do you mean??? Everybody loooves his constant screeching about new tech 😂
@@andrepylon12 I quite like he's gone away from all the anti sjw stuff these days and focuses more on debunking stuff. Low key enjoy his content these days even though I'm more left politically.
@@subzoronltd7779 He’s actually not right wing except for the anti-feminism stuff. He posted an anti-trump video and half of his base was in an uproar.
What happens now, women are now wary of drugged drinks at parties since it isn't just men but women drugging drinks.
I dont know how people disagree with this take, holy shit online discourse is so out of hand
Just imagine going on a date with a terminally online person
@@roymarshall_ Ever met someone you've talked shit with online? I hated this chick actual Trump kool-aid drinker, She was a literal psycho. Met her in real life she still was as much of a crazy B as she was online, she even was racist talking about how "Obama is from Kenya". But the sex was great, loved the situation so much. Don't love her at all, but the entire thing was mad entertaining.
@@avarice4556 and then you woke up?
His tweet wasn’t super clear but when he explained it it made more sense to me . I think in an ideal world you could talk about your expectations about going back to someone’s house but it’s not always like that .
These are people that have probably never went on a date/been invited to someones house after a date.
"Inviting someone over after a debate" had me laughing so hard and I'm STILL laughing!
Damn that was funny, and the chat popping off about it was perfect.
"So now that I've destroyed you on the free marketplace how about I destroy you in the bedroom?"
Enemies to lovers type beat
Destiny uses debate strategies to get laid. The only reason he takes his dates to restaurants is so he can eat pizza to distract them as he debates them out of their panties.
The missing signal part made me cringe so hard remembering the times I was fucking oblivious to huge signals and missed out like a moron...
I had a nice dinner movie date with a pleasant pretty girl once and just never called her again for no reason.
:(
100% been there too, it’s so embarrassing to think about 🤦♂️
I feel personally attacked
t didid she try to reach out to you?
I actually fell victim to this kind of advice years ago. A girl wanted to come over and I asked a friend of mine what I should do. She basically gave me the sexless feminist take Destiny is talking about. When she got to my place she was dressed up REAL sexy like. My dumbass offered to play video games with her. I asked her if she wanted to go to the park and smoke weed. Some cringe shit like that. Looking back I realize that the advice I got was basically the worst thing I could have done. She WANTED to have sex. She came over TO HAVE SEX and what did I do? Completely went against my gut instincts. All because I wanted to be a "nice guy" and not pressure her or make her feel uncomfortable. To add insult to injury, I met her at a party some months later and she literally clowned on me for not making "a move". Now I'll just push the issue verbally or in a text before we hang out. Make it 100% clear that sex is expected.
Once a woman invited me over to her apartment, I was freaking out, why would she want me in a private location, just the two of us?
Afterwards I realized that she was a heterosexual, which I am not
homonormitive people be like
It be like that sometimes
L
"Can you grab the MadCatz?" lmaoooooo ☠️☠️ deceased
That sent me through the time warp 🤣
Things you randomly brought up ended up helping me, even though I don't think it was your intention. 19:50, I've never dated before and a girl was giving me weird signals, being very touchy, even cuddling me, and generally being very sweet to me, wasn't interested in me at all. I was strung along like this for a while and it really messed with my head. Thanks for helping me realize how this is even weirder than I thought it was.
Destiny please review /r/FemaleDatingStrategy and /r/WitchesvsPatriarchy. Lots of misandry and reactionaryism there.
misandry? lol if women impowerment makes you feel attacked, thats your problem
@@user-sz5yd2in7t Nice satire
I haven't seen much misandry on r/witchesvspatriarchy myself
/r/WitchesvsPatriarchy is one of the most toxic and intolerable subreddits on that site. You get banned instantly for disagreeing with some of the most craziest takes out there. There is no discussion to be had, just a toxic echo chamber.
the Witches subreddit doesnt seem that bad whenever i get glimpses of it, FDS is legit fucking insane though that place is unbelievably toxic.
I think a lot of people are arguing how things ought to be not how things are. I wish I lived in a world like those people are describing it. It would probably make it a lot easier to get women to come over to the social room in my condo building with a poker table and pool table, it would make it way easier to have cheap fun dates.
But women are often hesitant because they know what the implication is of going to someone's place is and how are they even supposed to know if this room actually exists?
This whole conversation is in relation to the old question.
“Does He/She like me or just being nice?”
I'll be honest , for shy , and socially timid guys like myself, the whole "inviting someone after a date and getting straight into sex" doesent happen so easily. It may take a few visits in a personal space to get comfortable enough to then become open to a possibility for sexual activity. Usually society expects women to be like this..but nope , there are plenty of men who will get comfy , but not comfy enough for sex. So inviting someone you like to your home, but not "f*cking" them can be a sign that you are gradually getting more comfortable with them since they are in your place of security, aka your house or place of residence.
Destiny is right , people in society will expect you to have sex more often or not when you invite them after you've been hanging with them or dating (if your attracted to them and its mutual)
But not everyone wants to get physical straight away. even if they are attracted to person. They can still be comfy (this is just how I feel anyway) of course in this world we live in atm, the assumption is that you want sex straight away, or if you dont initiate...esspecially as a guy..your apparently not interested. So theres no winning
And its even worse when the girl invites you over , or initiates. Men who are shy or timid tend to be avoidant of sexual scenarios because of the shyness and insecurity. Its tough af. Because when you dont play along...again, its seen as though your not interested.
What a shy guy supposed to do ? Idk
many people feel this way including myself, I think we'll be fine:)
@@chaotika693 yeah, perhaps it should be spoken about more tbh. Because were just seen as weirdos since we dont fit into the socially accepted framework of getting straight into it🤣it's good to know others feel the same though, thanks
yeah im not confident at all (maybe why ive never gotten a date) but i would be happy just to have someone over to talk to and hangout with
The Tumblr porn implosion and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.
When he was talking about looking back 9 years and wondering if the girl was making a move - there were actual flashbacks occurring in my brain. Shame. Pain.
Same man, something to keep me awake tonight
I'm a woman and I've had the same experience with guys looking back. Didn't realize they were flirting with me until years later. It happens to the best of us!
@@RoseEyed one time this girl wouldn't let me leave the bar by myself, put me in her car, and then in her bed with her- in my head the entire time I was like- "wow this girl really cares that I make it home safe." WHAT
@@josephb456 ha yeah that one was pretty obvious. I know one college classmate and I both liked this one show, so we agreed to watch it live in the dorm lounge every week. One week he said he needed to go to his room to get something and I agreed to go with him since the show hadn’t started yet. Honestly didn’t think anything of it-I really did see this dude as a friend and I really was just there to watch the show.
So in his room I’m sitting on his couch and he takes off his shirt cause it “had a stain on it.” I had no reaction. We go back to the lounge and watch the show. Years later I realize he may have thought I wanted to sleep with him and did the whole “dorm room shirt thing” as a way to see if I was interested.
Clearly I wasn’t. But that’s ALSO why double checking to see if the person really is interested before making a move is so important. Would’ve been really awkward otherwise. XD
@@RoseEyed i think its worse for men cuz they would generally be down if theyd understand what the girls were hinting at :D
This is so true. I understand it is difficult for people to want to talk openly about the complexities of consent, but the alternative, of NOT talking about it or giving idealistic information, is just as damaging if not more so and even potentially dangerous.
I cant be the only one who heard him almost say "you're inviting a girl over after a debate" lmaooooo
I THOUGHT I HEARD THAT TOO
Destiny should do a call in segment where viewers or subs talk about their relationship concerns and things of that nature.
That would be great, politics may be more pressing on a large scale, but I speak to so many people that just want to talk about how to navigate the world as it seems to them.
Maybe it's me being overly optimistic but I think people with congruent personal lives will make sounder decisions overall.
@@EdgarFriendlysCivicsTeacher Well put!
I really like how the conversation partner admits fault rather easily, but also tries to aknowledge destiny's side!
@Andrew Stevenson I don’t even think they really disagree with each other that much ?
"I'm Mario"
"I'm only 15"
I'm dying
Wario*
This literally isn't complicated. If you don't want to fuck someone that you've gone on a date with, don't invite them to your home. If you do invite them, your actions imply consent. Don't be rubbing all up on someone if you don't wanna fuck. You can use words if you prefer. If they start doing something you don't like, you can just say no to a specific thing.
When the hell did this get so messed up?
What? Consent is meant to be enthusiastic and explicit. Just because someone invited you to their home doesn't necessarily mean that they want to have sex with you. It's not really complicated. You should just ask the other person. Silence is not consent.
Good to see destiny taking points from train and utilizing it to debate women squadW my maaan 😎🤙🤙
I don't know if this is cringe or what but my favorite types of videos from Destiny are these ones where he just discusses a topic in the social world outside of politics and mostly just focuses on explain his experiences and how he thinks through them. I've always been a anxious dude so most of my time is spent alone where I'm comfortable but recently I've been trying to interact with more people and build new habits and such.
So watching these social focused videos helps me feel like I'm "catching up" on a lot of social experiences I never had due to my insecurities and just general fears of going outside and meeting new people. So thanks dude.
The most stupid part of this whole thing is the idea that setting up the expectation of sex is somehow entitling someone to sex. Yes, inviting someone to your place after a date is setting up the expectation for sex. No, inviting someone over after a date does not entitle them to sex (nor does anything else).
I'm sort of new to Destiny's videos. But it always seems like the people he's debating are just trying to maneuver themselves into a position where they can demand an apology, and get an optics win. Maybe I'm getting old and this is how zoomers talk but it seems pretty bad faith to me.
I legitimately think they build up this caricature of destiny as super reactionary and unthoughtful about his positions. Then when they actually speak to him and he expands on his take they immediately realize they were somewhat uncharitable, but still attempt to dance around agreeing with him.
it's the nature of online "debate" these days. if you leave having shifted your position even slightly then you lost.
it‘s just that for the most part destiny debates idiots. It has nothing to do with zommer slang. He himself in one of his older videos said that he is specifically looking for idiots because that‘s more entertaining for his audience.
I do agree with the notion that *lack* of awareness of this expectation is probably correlated with how much time an individual spends online and where they spend it.
This "unwritten" expectation is learned through actual, real life interactions or direct relationships with those who have had them. Those who view online interaction as the foundation for socialization will likely be confused, at best. Particularly when the "unwritten" expectation is that everything in life can be learned through a google search and studies. And when it doesnt, it is assumed that those real life interactions should conform with the ignorance rather than dispel it.
This is akin to being 8 and inviting an acquaintance over to your house - then when you get there you open your books and start with homework/studying and assume they will just fall in line to do the same.
At that age (8) the norm for inviting a new friend over is to play! Get some snacks and fire up some video games etc. If you wanted to invite your new smart friend over to help with math homework, you would of course clarify that ahead of time as it is not the 'expected' generic 'hey wanna come over to my house (implied: to play)?'
at 30+ trying to date, the implication has long moved away from 'do you wanna come over (to play boardgames/etc)' to what Destiny is suggesting - of course people should know this. If you wanted to invite someone over for some other reason, explain that to them at the point of inviting them, so that you don't send wrong signals.
The best point made in this discussion is actually how twitter is not a good place for discourse. The site, and just about everyone on it, thrives on controversy. You have people saying that this person or that person has been mind fucked by online discourse but don't seem to see how it has infected them. I can't count how many times Destiny kept saying 'lefties online this' or 'lefties online that' and a plurality of his videos and just about everyone of his conversations are infected with the phantom of online twitter warriors. Seems like 95% of it is Twitter bullshit. All this dumb shit makes everyone crazy.
Meanwhile IRL when I tell my niece 'don't invite guys home' I don't have to warrior about twitter mobs or have to worry about twitter hate. Probably best to tell people not to shop online for real world dating advice.
wtf.
It's because Twitter's algorithm deliberately shows the most controversial tweets more to gain traction
That's sorta just human nature though isn't it? If it wasn't Twitter, it would be another site. We love bickering, arguing, getting one-ups on each other and even better if it can be done with some anonymity from behind a screen? Of course people are going to engage in sensationalist nonsense just for the hell of it
@@arabiannights5301 I do not believe Twitter or the internet is part of human nature. No more than I think obesity and racism is.
@@electron6825 tribalism? Who brought that up?
I think inviting someone over to watch movies, play games, or just talk is completely normal. Expecting sex is weird that should come naturally imo
Yeah, really.
@@xXXBongToker420xXx yeah
It's amazing to me that people take sex advice from people online who never has sex.
"if you don't feel him,
Dont invite him."
His advice sounds a lot to "enthousiastic consent" to me
I've had these arguments with the exact same people man. I was using the phrase ya gotta learn to play the game, a normal phrase. I got attacked for saying IT ISNT A GAME! I was like, do you know what I mean lol?
If your intention was to talk about how to stay safe then yeah, I don't think they understood what you meant. 'Game' was a term in the pick-up artist community, and most people nowadays understand 'having game' to mean you manipulate people in order to sleep with them.
@@chasingepiphanies7993 Ya no, I meant it more in terms of the older way. Kind of like the ebb and flow of interactions and reading each other, basically courting.
Thats also been my experience. We're thet young leftists? Theyre so highly focused on rhetoric that they completely miss meaning. Its like at some point people got so autistic about rhetoric they cant communicate in the real world, and god forbid if you like romantic language and metaphors.
god forbid people have fun
@@crushinnihilism Basically ya, they were younger, idk about leftist in particular. They just got butt hurt about it and assumed I was gamifying women or something stupid
2:50 literally the Seinfeld episode where George refused an offer for “coffee”
Destiny is playing The Last Spell wrong, needs to re-evaluate what he's doing here, these hero's should ALL have a second weapon.
Sounds like he needs you in dgg chat
Yeah you are the only one who cares about the game
@@Green-tf8uw I bet Destiny cared more about the game than this pointless conversation.
@@keithfilibeck2390 I don't blame him, this woman was every dishonest tweeter user in a nutshell.
I love how it goes to "silence is consent" frame immedeatly. Destiny was just saying you should only invite someone over after a date if you believe theres a possibilty and you would be comfortable with it, he didn't say "oooh boy you gon get some" neither did he say to "expect to get it, guaranteed", people interact its not "hey we're here let's have sex" and at any time if the other person doesn't want it or is not comfortable or had the wrong idea it stops
Have totally had the experience of being actively picked up at my place of work, i took her out to a late night, we went back to her hotel room, and once there she started playing hard to get, to a point where I felt like there was not consent. Then she (while wearing a t-shirt only in the bed with me wearing boxers only) said, "I think you should take what you want."
OH, she has a dominance kink. Now she has affirmatively made it clear and a great time was had by all.
These situations are difficult to navigate.
I find it funny-sad how some women don't 'get' when we're looking for consent. I've definitely been written off before as 'not into bdsm' because I wasn't socially aggressive, lol.
Most people use twitter as an optics platform and that’s all that matters to them. Definitely not the place to go for actual discourse but she seemed fairly reasonable one-on-one
Seems like miscommuncation on all sides. Destiny puts emphasis on the importance of reading situations and understanding assumptions we make when dating. The guest puts emphasis on communication so people can go beyond relying on such assumptions. Then they misinterpret each other as saying 'We should never make assumptions", or "We should always assume rather than communicate." But in reality they pretty much agree that we should both learn to communicate better and to accurately read social cues.
Fucking bingo!
How in the name of god is 'if you invite someone back to your place they will assume sex is happening' a controversial take? That's important for young people starting out dating to be clear about. They will read this insane discourse and put themselves at more risk.
*guy* : hey, wanna come over to my place for some *SMASH* ?
*girl* : heck yeah!
(turns on nintendo switch)
*girl* : oh! when you said smash I thought-
*guy* : HELL YEAH! Some Super SMASH! Who do you main? I'm a Link main.
*girl* : heh, okay yeah I like smash, I main Bayonetta!
*guy* : .......this isnt going to work, please leave my apartment.
Bayo is not even that good in Ultimate lol
Ever since Actual Jake has had this hard on for going after Destiny, I stopped watching him. He's had so many bad takes that I didn't notice until after he started going after Steven for no reason. Every time I think I found a lefty that isn't insane, they prove me wrong.
there are plenty of normal lefties in Europe. In the USA it has become somewhat of a fashion trend, so of course youll have random kids from the internet putting it on...
same, and in the end i always go bacc to ma boi steven bonnell the second
Hey I don’t really follow destiny outside of what I see on UA-cam, can someone explain to me what actual Jake has been saying about destiny lately
@@karimshebeika8010 very true. I've noticed this myself. It might have something to do with that those in Europe have actually experienced things like socialism, communism & all that. So they're alot more connected to reality than those here in the US.
@@chrismcnuggett it's almost like Jake has been just trying to pick fights with Destiny. I think he wants to debate him but he doesn't want to say it so he just picks fights with him instead. Or he thinks picking fights with him will get him more followers since it's the "cool" thing to do for the leftys.
You cannot negotiate genuine desire.
I don't get why everyone is misquoting the post like destiny does at 1:42
It wasn't "Invited over after the date"
It was "invited over for the second date"
It changes the implications.
Inviting someone in after a date is a pretty clear sign.
Inviting someone over *for* a date is not so clear a sign.
There are ways to clear that up over the course of the date but c'mon. Let's not act like it's an all-access pass to the bone zone.
No one said it’s it’s an all access pass to bone zone, arguing against no one at all. It’s about safety and not putting yourself in a sketchy situation where expectations can be misaligned between the two people
I'm not sure how this really changes the implication. It's not an "all-access pass to the bone zone". That isn't the argument being put forward. It's that inviting someone over after a date generally implies sex. This isn't a new concept by any means.
Wait, who acts like an invite for a date equals consent to anything? It's just a sign and the people inviting should be aware of that expectation. Doesn't mean they have to have sex with every person they invite for a date. You understand you're derailing the conversation to rape exactly how Destiny was saying, right?
why the fuck would a woman invite a man to her house unless she was comfortable enough with him to have sex with him? for a date or after a date, it changes nothing about what destiny says. Both end up with a practical stranger being in your house now he knows where you live.
The advice is the same: "Dont invite someone u do not want to have sex with to ur home as a date." U are trying to muddy the water. To complicate the situation and add some more conditions and make it look like someone is trying to bypass consent. But its very simple: "Dont invite someone u do not want to have sex with to ur home as a date." It goes for first dates, second dates, after-dates, every type of date there is... And nobody said that once u get invited to someones home its a bone-time. Its just poeple like u again tryin to frame it as some rape culture.
As a woman with high functioning social anxiety I prefer explicit verbal over non-verbal cues. We're in a transitionary period. We didn't talk much about consent or assault before outside of VERY obvious situations. Now that that conversation is broadening, it will take time to establish best practices. (One reason I prefer direct communication.)
Because of how sensitive the topic is I see the disconnect. It's similar to ones about the friendzone, dating someone much older, or if you should be expected to have sex if someone paid for dinner. How people interpret what you say is influenced by their personal experiences--especially when gender is involved.
The original statement "don't invite someone over your house unless you're comfortable having sex with them" can imply "since you invited them over now you're EXPECTED to have sex with them and if you don't you're a tease." That's obviously not the intent, but if someone's had a negative experience like that, they may jump to that uncharitable interpretation.
I also think both had valid points. We should be striving to avoid miscommunications by lessening our assumptions while ALSO acknowledging the current world. So, yes these are nonverbal cues someone may interpret as a sexual advance. Look out for them if you're on the receiving end and be careful not to do them if you don't mean to. AND. If you think you're getting these cues, ask to make sure you're not misinterpreting them.
I don't use reddit for learning. I typically use sources like
Books,UA-cam, wikihow.
Reddit does not appeal to me because it is pretty much limited in what it offers that pales in comparison to ideal sources.
wikihow, is this a meme?
You're on the wrong subreddits if you dont think that reddit is good for learning
Reddit is good for finding resources, but the actual people and content on Reddit can be extremely hit or miss.
There should be a speedrun timer for these twitter reactionaries debates, cuz they always end up the same lmao. Reading the "controversial" tweet in its entirety, walking them through it sentence by sentece, reactionary taking back their heated replies, pushing back on some of Destiny's rhetoric and ultimately agreeing with the take they've malded over the last 24-48 hours.
The thing that frustrates me is that I don't really think Destiny really made the distinction between the advice that he gives the girl in the scenario and the advice he gives the guy.
1. Does inviting people to your house indicate that you're interested in sex to most people? Yes.
2. Does being invited to someone's house indicate that they're interested in sex? It's quite likely that it does, but it's not consent, and until there's clear, enthusiastic consent, don't get your hopes up for anything.
3. To both parties, be sure that you're being as clear as possible with what you want.
While I think that people should know what he means given his content, I think that he still could've done more to stop himself from being interpreted this way once he saw that he was. Saying "no, that's not what I mean, you bad faith, terminally online, socially awkward leftie virgin" doesn't clarify things as much as he seems to think it does and it makes me think he just does it for drama.
I get what Destiny is saying. However, I would rather like to live in a world where you can invite people of the opposite sex over without their being an expectation of sex.
You can, just do it outside the context of a date.
@@fraggberth kinda missing the point there.
@@fraggberth false. You can do it within the context of a date, just make it clear you don't want to have sex when you invite them over.
@@fraggberth if i invite someone over for a date i would wanna game and watch movies and shows and talk, I dont need sex unless she wants to. obviously id want to but i wouldnt expect anything with touch
Look Autismo, other people can't read your mind. Some will choose to see the tweet as bad, but some people will genuinly see it like that. Me as a long term fan of D-dog knew what you meant, but that's ONLY because I've watch well over 1000 hours of your shit!
Lol kinda truuuu
You don't have to be fan of Destiny or watch 1000 hours of his content, english doesn't have to be your native language to understand this tweet. People are just trying to make it into something that it is not.
@@uHasioorr never watched this dude before except when he debated a couple people a few years ago, forgot about him completely. don't know his positions on stuff really. that tweet is trifling shit, this is nonsense. anybody who thinks this is controversial is an idiot.
WE’RE GONNA LOAD UP SOME SMASH BABE 🤣
FD, No items, Fox v. Fox 😎🤙🏾
@@_alreph I would not have sex with anyone that can't beat me in a fox ditto.
The debate isn't about consent, it's about social expectations.
I agree that most people will expect sex in this scenario, but getting an enthusiastic consent is a must before having sex with someone. People might change their mood once they hit the crib
While I am openly critical of Destiny’s takes on lefties, he is absolutely correct about this one. Since it is impossible to fully know someone’s intent, then the assumption should be based on reality and not hopes and dreams. If you are on a date and they invite you home afterwords, the implication is sex. Otherwise you have just made a possibly awkward goodbye that much more awkward by making it goodbye and please leave my house. Destiny is absolutely correct that unless they have had a clear and open conversation of expectations and what may happen, it is setting people up for lots of problems.
Where I do disagree with Destiny is the attacks he’s faced are because of lefty wokeness. Maybe In that one specific instance that was the case, but I think it is just the fact the internet is a toxic dump full of idiots that is the bigger problem. Comment about literally anything at any time and you are likely to have people jump in to argue and fight and call you stupid for thinking X. The other day I commented on a boardgame I liked and people were responding about how wrong I was and the game is garbage, etc. People have this idea that if they can shit on something or someone it means they are better or smarter. It’s an ego-driven bully tactic the internet has normalized and standardized and it fucking sucks and helps nobody and contributes nothing. But it seems to be 90% of internet “engagement” these days.
BASED
And it makes sense to because where does sex most often take place? In someone's house in the bedroom. So of course if you invite someone into their house after a date it makes sense as to why they would think sex is going to happen because it normally happens their. If you wanted to just hang out more you could've gone to any other place and done it, or if you are going to your house, then make it clear sex isn't going to happen because you're not into doing that.🤷🏼♂️ That's how I see it.
To be fair smarter people do tend to have more credible takes :3
3:30 "It's impossible to tell, best bet is to keep your wits about you and continue looking for signs"
Destiny used the word, "comfortable." This actually covers any and all scenarios about things privacy, disclosure, etc. Trusting someone to bring them into your home...you should be fully comfortable with all scenarios that could transpire. Otherwise, you put yourself in danger.
If you know what the Line is for your own protection, draw it, communicate it, and do not compromise. This should be easy.
Destiny? That's a name!
Yeah
A girls name
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 banger bro God damn rolfl im going die you crazy for this one 🤣😂🤣🤣🤣 lolollol
Bro was a debate tactic during the converse
That initial tweet only makes sense if you’re inviting them home from a certain kind of date. But I should still say,
Women: it’s understandable if a guy expects sex after you invite him home on a date and is disappointed when you actually don’t.
Men: It’s okay if she invites you home and it turns out she doesn’t want sex. If she says no when push comes to shove, she says no.
Generally speaking, I think it's best to bring up both things together rather than just promoting one or the other. Having someone come to your place or going to someone's place, in terms of dating, you personally shouldn't expect that to mean sex is going to be involved. However, you should also realize that most people will think that expectation is implied. Both of these are good advice that won't detract from the conversation while also helping to move us closer to the way we'd like the dating culture to be in the future. Anyone just getting one half of that advice isn't working with optimal advice.
I think its better to say that inviting someone over in a date context shouldn't mean that sex will be followed through- but that it should be assumed that sex is a considered potential for both parties.
@@Skinnymarks I think that stance is a better one
@@Skinnymarks Yeah, that's basically what I'm saying without the extra details and explanations as to why... and probably worded better in terms of giving advice. As long as both parts are being addressed.
@@SamuelRyanLilly Knowing the implication (going over means the possibility of sex exists) while both parties feeling comfortable using communicating how far they're willing to go with the other respecting that boundary is how I assume things work at this point
Saying you shouldn't leave a wallet in your car vs you deserve to have younwallet stolen of you do so.
This was not a debate- it was a lecture by destiny on reality
How is it even possible to grow up and not gain any understanding of what a home is? How deep do you have to be buried in the sand to achieve this level of incompetence?
It depends on the guy, I've invited girls I've liked over just to chill before. Some women just like to come over and drink a cup of wine and watch some movies when you're first getting to know each other. Then again, I'm the type of guy that looks for girlfriends as opposed to girls to just smash. I know that most guys think how Destiny described it though. Women should make it clear that that's not what they're planning to do if they agree to go over a guy's house. Otherwise, most men will assume that they're dtf.
We could try and be clear but that can be incredibly uncomfortable
Hey bb inviting you over to bone that’s chill right
OK but just because a guy assumed that she wanted to have sex, he shouldn't force her to have sex with him. We should always get an explicit and implicit yes before getting laid with someone
It's odd to find out not inviting strangers to your house isn't the norm everywhere. Certainly not how it goes in New England. No reason for us to be in each other's business that deep right away.
1:20
"What does your house have that no where else you can get?"
*me: Tacos
"Exactly right! First try, it's privacy."
*me:.... Man, I am terminally dumb sometimes.....
The thing that screws up consent so much is that the whole "maybe game" is so exiting. The uncertainty is the thing that turns us on. It also suppose to be hard to rout out those of us with neuro-diversity or lack of social intelligence from the gene-pool. It sucks, but that's the way it is.
That girl was nice however that Xavier guy he was talking about on twitter might be the literal definition of cringe lmao
She was coming in bad faith tho.
what a good video surely this topic wont be a reoccurring point of contention every 3-4 months
Banger points but my only problem with this video is the chick was super fucking chill and reasonable but destiny was kinda treating her like she represents the dipshits coming after him which is understandable because he must've felt combative from frustration
I instantly understood the tweet. Who are these people that need this so painstakingly spelled out for them? Are they just so fucking inept at life that they need their hand held at every single point in life? Holy shit
I love it when internet people give advice to people who actually live life off the net. lol
I agree with most of this. The problem is that people only give advice based on biased opinions about certain topics, not actual facts. Because in the end it’s easier to blame someone who isn’t part of the game rather than the player who fucked up at their job
All of this is good and all... What game is he playing. Looks awesome!
Was also curious and found out its called "The Last Spell" on steam
@@SpaceOddity174 thank you
"well i never even wanted to argue with that point so there" the ultimate pivot out of the entire debate lmao
Destiny on Twitter again? Let's see how long it will last this time :D
avoid the internet for dating advice. Be kind, but dont be a simp. Ok i said that on the internet but still I'm trying to make the world a better place
This person doesn't seem to feel strongly about their position at all.
It’s because she never really disagreed with Destiny to begin with. She just saw an opportunity to sea lion and took it
This wasn't a debate this was like talking to a recorder that said mhm yeah after every point.
Dating is pretty easy from my perspective. The hard part is overcoming all the insecurities you have while being mentally stable enough to deal with your partners. Eye contact, make them laugh, ask them to go on a walk, become more comfortable, etc.. works for me. But I never try anymore. Just another emotional nuke waiting to happen LOL. Also... body language and actually knowing when a girl is into you is huge.. maybe that's where people have issues..? I mean if you're obese or give off a tone of "I'm a rude asshole", probably need to fix that first, or lower your standards and do the best you can and be happy with yourself, then it'll be easier, no one wants a negative asshat, so if you have some sort of disability, knowing how to navigate that and use it to your advantage is also huge, like im a stuttery stupid mess irl, but I can play with that to make people laugh, overcoming something for someone else is a nice gesture. I feel like people are focusing on how people react to their behaviour because that's easier then fixing their own, which is kinda scary. Also dating strangers without any sort of precontext of a shared interest or at least talking to each other to feel each other out is sus.. the only use I see of tinder is like... location based matching so if you're talking to a girl at work that's an easy way in. Buuut, fuck those random stranger matches, imo.
I agree.
I’ve never had much trouble neither, and I’m a 5’7 lad of average build and looks. Mentality is quite a part of the whole thing.
Some behavior is unfixable like being autistic.
@@PuertoRicanGrinderX not really. I know lots of autists that do just time. Hell, that's me
@@permets2apollox453 That's anecdotal, statistically autists are heavily disadvantaged, my anecdote being my friend who is autistic is very unstable and incapable of maintaining friendships which is sad to say
@@PuertoRicanGrinderXSpeaking as an autist, you can fix your behavior even if you are autistic, social skills are still a skill, and therefore you can get better at it.
well there is the uncertain relationships where it haven't been established if he or she is just a friend and by inviting them over it is an implied sexual invitation.
and it is that unless there are words establishing that there's nothing that's gonna happen which can't be misconstrued to be flirtatious or playing hard to get.
where it actually is more troublesome is when you're already established to be just friends, or you have friends that are friends with them and you're just hanging around each other just being friendly then it's implied you're just friendly until one or the other reaches to try and be more than that.
for example if a friend of a friend asks you to come over and hang, it's a tricky situation because they might want to spring a sexual invitation on you, but you can't assume it's gonna be that.
it could just be that they wanted to be closer as a friend with you.
or if you're already friends then coming to hangout is just gonna be the assumption that you're going there to hangout and nothing else.
so how do you try to cross the border between just being a friendly face to "i want to fuck you" when you're in that position without coming on too strong and or not getting it across at all and ending up doing something really fucking stupid like inviting someone over and flirt but the signal wasn't received and you couldn't tell so you try to lean in for the kiss and you get rejected and now both are feeling fucking awkward as fuck about it, and this is just a mild case of stupidity.
now i think there are 2 ways you can reach across and try to convey that shit, either you are being very blunt and say what you want.
or you lead them in and try to feel it out to see how they react to several small instances of distance closing things you do.
16:57 this is an amazing speech
this "hypothetical" is extremly common lol
"Why should I apologize for being a misogynist? No woman has ever apologized for making me one." - Confucius
that's some Joker shit
@@Tocinos that’s some based ass shit
In the mind of a misogynist everything is womens fault.Which is way no women have to date one EVER.We are learning that and they mad about it.Many many good mens out there .Why waste time with those idiots?
We live in stupid times.