Build Stronger Relationships with John Kim & Vanessa Bennett | The Man Enough Podcast
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- Опубліковано 9 чер 2024
- John Kim & Vanessa Bennett are world-class relationship therapists, podcast hosts, bestselling authors AND life partners. John and Vanessa break down red flags in dating, therapy for men, introspective boundary setting, masculine & feminine energy and disjointed desires within couples.
New episodes every Monday 🎙️
The Man Enough Podcast is produced by Wayfarer Studios and presented by Procter and Gamble, in partnership with Cadence13, an Audacy company.
#theone #therapy #mentalhealth #dating #relationships #redflags
Read It’s Not Me It’s You
Together, John & Vanessa, have written It’s Not Me, It’s You. In this book the couple analyze their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership. The book covers self love, growth, communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding as well as the challenges we face in relationships.
About John Kim & Vanessa Bennett:
John Kim, also known as The Angry Therapist, is a published writer, speaker, life coach, and a co-founder of The TAT Lab and Lumia-Life Coach Training and Community. By practicing transparency and sharing his story, John’s path has led him to become a pioneer in the self-help field. He built a coaching team of his own and launched a sister company called JRNI, creating a new way to help people.
Vanessa Bennett is an author, holistic psychotherapist, and codependency expert. Her therapeutic approach integrates years of study and practice in Depth, Buddhist, and Yoga Psychology. She co-hosts the Cheaper Than Therapy Podcast, leads soul-based retreats and workshops, and creates and facilitates curriculum for non-profit and corporate events and conferences. Vanessa opens up on her social platforms about the struggles of relationships and normalizing the difficulties of being a human.
The two reside in Los Angeles and continue to help people around the world.
Show Notes
00:00 Episode Begins
02:36 Intros
07:34 Red Flags In Dating
08:38 Vulnerability in Boundaries
09:58 The Misconception of The One
15:36 Why Men Don’t Champion Therapy
19:05 Cutting Boys Off From Their Emotional Selves
27:22 Holding Your Friends Accountable
30:19 Men Need to Be Liked
43:48 Caregiving vs Caretaking
48:34 John’s Poem
51:56 Disconnected Desires
01:02:11 Wounded Masculine & Wounded Feminine
01:06:22 From Judgment to Curiosity
01:09:22 Andy’s Song
01:13:31 What Does it Mean to be Man Enough
Key Quotes from the Episode:
“Taking a second to ask ‘what else could be true?’ is incredibly helpful in relationships…it turns the dial from Judgement to Curiosity” - Vanessa Bennett & John Kim
“It’s important to have conversations in locker rooms, be the trojan horse, if you’re there and you’ve gone through some type of hero’s journey then you need to lead by example…share it with your friends.” - John Kim
Guest Social Links:
JOHN KIM
Instagram: @theangrytherapist
Twitter: @angrytherapist
Facebook:@theangrytherapist
VANESSA BENNETT
Instagram: @vanessasbennet
Facebook:@vanessabennettcoaching
HOSTS: Justin Baldoni, Liz Plank, and Jamey Heath
JOIN THE MAN ENOUGH COMMUNITY:
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Instagram: / wearemanenough
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Twitter: / wearemanenough
Facebook: / wearemanenough
Subscribe to the Man Enough newsletter for behind the scenes, updates, and sneak peeks of new episodes, as well as positive masculinity content: manenough.com/newsletter
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FOLLOW THE HOSTS:
Justin Baldoni Instagram: / justinbaldoni
Justin Baldoni TikTok: / justinbaldoni
Justin Baldoni Facebook: / justinbaldoni
Justin Baldoni Twitter: / justinbaldoni
Text Justin: +1 (310) 845-6909
Liz Plank: / feministabulous
Liz Plank TikTok: / lizplank
Liz Plank Facebook: / feministabulous
Liz Plank Twitter: / feministabulous
Site: www.elizabethplank.com/
Jamey Heath Instagram: / jamey_heath_
Jamey Heath TikTok: / jameyheath
Jamey Heath Twitter: / jamey_heath_
Jamey Heath Facebook: / jameyjaz
Site: www.jameyheath.com/
PRODUCED BY:
Wayfarer Studios: www.wayfarerstudios.com
Wayfarer Studios UA-cam: / wayfarerentertainment
P&G Studios
Executive Producers: Justin Baldoni, Jamey Heath, Tarah Malhotra-Feinberg, Marc Pritchard, Anna Saalfeld, Chris Corcoran
Producer: Kayla Nicholson
A MESSAGE TO OUR PARTNERS:
Thank you to The Lost Debate network for supporting our show!
As a single woman listening to these discussions I am beginning to feel hope that I won’t be alone forever.
We're so glad you enjoyed the episode!
I will second what the women said here. I reaaally wish men deeply and viscerally understood how women’s true, unlocked sexuality is behind the wall of self-preservation and protection. And if they can make us feel like we’re respected as humans and that they’re safe enough for us to unfurl without us being harmed or betrayed, there is SO MUCH connection, sexual bond and pleasure that can happen!
Yes yes yes. Yes. Yes.
Absolutely!
Amen!
" you know know whats wrong with you ", before i know so i can be vulnerable ", SO TRUE!!!😲👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Andy’s song was beautiful it gave me goosebumps.
Us too!
The song was the highlight of the conversation🥺🥺🥺 A man of a few words but the singing was the most heart warming gift
"There is no ONE, only the RIGHT person" 🤯 This changes everything for me.
This episode was amazing. I think it's one of my favorites so far.
Thank you! We love it too. Thought it would be a great way to start the new year.
Oh wow. I know it’s a good one when even after years of therapy and being in the best mental state I have ever been in my life, there is something helpful and new to take away. Excellent guests! Thank you!! 💜
Thank you! Appreciate you sharing so honestly.
I love your show and I really need Andy's song in a format I can have on repeat
I AM SO GLAD YOU FINALLY HAD THEM🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
We are too. John has been a friend of Man Enough since the beginning.
Justin, Liz, and Jamey - thanks for sharing this. One of my friends sent over this episode, and it's very poignant. I'm the son of 2 parents who have spent 30+ years in therapy and I'm the product of 2 people who are deeply committed to their inner work. There is nothing more manly than being an emotionally available, open and feeling parent!
I have a podcast of my own that examines, among many other things, mens mental health. It's called 'Mike's Search for Meaning'.
It would be such an incredible honor to interview y'all! I know we'd have a rich exploration together. I know that you are all busy and highly in demand guests, so I'm not expecting anything at all. BUT!: If it's a yes, let's coordinate!
Hi! I absolutely love your podcast-- I listen to them in the car and I am always excited when a new one is posted. I think Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning would be amazing guests on this podcast. On their podcast, Ear Biscuits, they talk about their personas online vs offline, their close lifelong male friendship, going to therapy, being fathers and husbands and their evolving relationship with God. It would be interesting to hear what they would say about masculinity with this group dynamic.
Thank you for the wonderful work that you all do!!!
This show, this episode… and then the song …. Truly perfection ✨🪄❤️
I really enjoyed this vulnerable conversation. As a person, who lost hope long ago, thanks for articulating all the Whys and including also the hard questions... all those Yes Ands.
Thank you for sharing. We hope you can find hope again.
Andy please release this song.
I'm crying. Great episode. Super insightful. Super refreshing. Thank you.
Andy's song was BEAUTIFUL... is it on spotify?
Wonderful podcast! Love John & Vanessa and this podcast collab.
Your show on last days I was so inspiring and so many other got inspired who has died and is dying .Your such an inspiration thank you
Loved this episode ❤ really enjoyed listening to vanessa, john, and andy's beautiful song ✨✨
Jamey should sing too, maybe in another episode ❤
It's true - he is a wonderful musician.
Yes, due to finding this amazing podcast I checked out his site and was BLOWN AWAY by the music there. Can't wait to have a musical collab episode!! Bring it!!
I have listened to all the podcasts by far and funny enough I also listen to John Kim’s podcast on life coaching while driving to work because it’s something I wish to do and wondered how amazing it would be if he was on Man Enough then BOOM I see caption “Updated Monday” and knew I just had to watch this episode on UA-cam instead of listening on apple podcast, that song at the end by Andy 🔥
That was absolutely awesome !
Thank you!
I am a faithful follower of Man Enough podcast. I got really emotional for Humanity song, it reminded me of the 2 of my all time favorite songs, one is called Polaroid, and the other one Freeze, and I went to search it. It turns out Andy Grammer is the author and singer of Freeze 😅 I’m glad my ignorance cleared out 😅 Andy, your songs bring so much joy to my life, I miss singing and playing the guitar again, thank you for reminding me that. ❤ oh and, I hope you release the song soon, it is now a torture not being able to play it in repeat😅❤️ Thank you again🥰
Thank you for sharing! Glad you enjoyed it. It was a truly special moment of the recording.
Beautiful song and needs to be released!
The short poem, SO CUTE!
I loved this episode!❤
Thank you. We love you!
This episode makes me feel so hopeful 🥰 thank you!
WE are so happy it resinated with you
Beautiful episode!
Thank you!
Beautiful vocals !!😮😮
I agree with Andy that we are in an 'in between' time right now for men. I feel in the past there were some clearer guidelines/examples about how individual men should respect women, even though the rules were not equal, there was respect and honour there. Now, with more equality, the rules are shifting and it puts men (and boys) in a really difficult position, where they are incredibly open to criticism for mis-steps. I am grateful for your show to provide such amazing role models! I wish it appealed to more men - I notice most comments are women. That brings me to my last comment -- that in addition to "emptying the dishwasher," the most sexiest thing is a man speaking about his feelings!!
That song…brought to mind a recent beauty I found…Manly Man by Delacy & Emily Weisband.
It’s gorgeous.
So beautiful.
Beautiful song. Touched my heart. Thank you. ✨✨✨
It's such a beautiful song!
Oh my Goodness that song was so beautiful, thank you for sharing that and for being vulnerable and genuine 🙏💕
Thought I would suggest the brilliant Ogenagan Chief Oren Lyons. The Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) people's powerful understanding of the balance of women and men could shed a powerful light on this subject. (Man Enough)
I like what I heard. Great work, thank you all.
Thank you!
Hellow form Italy, big fan of yours here. I love all the latest episodes, I'm wondering if you'll ever get a polyamorous person on the podcast, I think it would give a very specific and concrete prospective on love, trust and vulnerability. Thanks for all the amazing work 🌈
Great suggestion. Thanks for the kind words.
42:05 - 42:30 Really touched on a topic that I've realized and think about a lot. My question is, however, how can boys/men get that message forwarded to them if they don't have a community of men at the moment and then aren't listening to the women in their life.
The discussion does lead into the limitations of our influence, how some people might not be ready to listen, and will opt for saying no thank you. This is something I will sit with and consider more, but do you have any recommendations on instigating their desire/interest to be better as a human and a man?
I looooved Andy's song what is it called?
Awesome podcast! But I wonder if using language around exertion works in this case (reaching potential, stepping up, accountability). Isn't this about being ok with being vulnerable? Great conversation though, I wish more people listened to this, I will do my part and share:)
I hope John Kim sees my comment: I used to follow him and was in his Facebook group. This was before cancel culture was even a thing. I was disturbed that John felt it was okay as a male and Therapist to use the word ‘bitch,’ especially when so many of the people who followed him were women. So I was not surprised when John was “blown away” by the comment about honoring women. I’m Ojibwe. I come from a matriarchal culture. We traditionally view women as sacred because they are lifegivers. We honor women. I called John out in a post when I left the group for using that dehumanizing word. I hope John does better now. Red flags go up for me when people decry cancel culture. It makes me feel they have something to hide. What is truly manly enough is to own past and current mistakes (that we all obviously make) and do better!
Thank you for your perspective. So glad you're here and part of our community.
I have a question. The therapists might understand, from an attachmennt theory viewpoint, would it help take some of the scrutiny and criticism off men to reframe the emotional literacy as an avoidant issue. Like I know I have dismissive avoidant tendencies, irrespective of gender, and I know anxiously attached people don't get it at first, their issues cause them to assign malicious motives to our maladaptive coping strategies. So we all gotta put down our weapons.
The poem was so cringy. Did not believe it for a second. If he had shared it privately, not referenced sex repeatedly. He even went out of his way to say that he wouldn't be getting on his knee. She needs to give that dude a deadline, stop letting him waste her time with BS.
oh sis 45:00 you said it all. I actually do like him in many respects, have read his work, so am not bagging on him. But girl, you just called him out. He should NOT be repeatedly hurting you, knowing where your wounds are. Smh, all due respect for Kim, but girl dtmfa.
I do agree about putting down the weapons. I always feel a little like I wan to defend the men I know when I feel they are under attack. I didn't see the poem that way. I did believe that he was being authentic and real and just trying to be one of the 'good guys' and showing up for his woman. It must be so hard for men. They are told to 'show up' more and when they do they really put themselves out there for critcism to come in. I'm sorry if you have been hurt by men w.r.t. sex and commitment. :(
There's something extremely irritating about bringing up a correlational study to imply that somehow men CAUSE a lower life expectancy in their partners (30:50). Perhaps a more nuanced discussion rather than agreeing with each other would be good next time. Not hating, just pointing out something to improve the quality of discourse and lead the viewers/listeners by example.
Considering homicide is the leading cause of death of pregnant women, is it that much of a stretch to correlate that outcome?
@@caitlinburke8326 That's really sloppy thinking. You should consider taking a statistics course.
@aeneas I see your frustration and it’s probably the same reaction that John had when Vanessa brought it up. Problem with certain humans, and just tends to me more women, is that we try to control too many things out of our control. & I think this is perpetuated by society setting such high standards on the expectations of both men and women. Men can let go of a lot of shit easier than women can. Maybe it’s compartmentalism. Maybe it’s just less hormonal influence. But even the discussion of beige underwear. I disagree with Liz. We don’t wear it for men. We wear it not to be judged by other women. By society. You can’t wear a sexy bra under a shirt than can be seen…what does that say about you? So that mentality drives women to compete with women and men to compete with men. So dropping the competition, letting go of expectations, and just accepting and giving love in relationships releases both parties from the self created stressors and ultimately…shortened life.
Thanks for the perspectives.
I really enjoyed the show but this was an unfortunate undercurrent throughout. A fairly tenuous connection to the science, which is fine, as long as you provide qualifiers. But a lot of just blanket statements and personal opinions sans caveats. Generalizations and personal viewpoints are necessary but they hand waved away so much, instead of interacting with the data in a more granular and nuanced way. Looking forward to more shows though, their hearts are truly in it.
married people are unhappy!why ask them for advice. OMG. The divorce rate is 50%.
Because there's another 50% that could help the rest.
Annoying rom coms..