The Science of Kinks (with
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- Опубліковано 24 вер 2022
- Our patrons voted in kinks as this month’s topic - which (among other things) means opening up the DSM and seeing which fetishes are pathologised & which aren’t…
CW: pedophillia mention
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References & Further Reading
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti....
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32935...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6525106/#!po=10.3659
amp.theguardian.com/commentis...
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32119...
www.huffpost.com/entry/differ...
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@notcorry / @lukecutforth
Do you have any kinks? What are they 👀
Too many to list...
I have a few but my biggest one would be urine
Maybe....but I'll never say
But yes
i'm curious to see if anyone is gonna actually say theirs or not lol
too many to count
My fave phrase from the kink Community is that everything must be safe, sane and consensual
I prefer Risk aware consensual kink; sane can be ableist, or disclude people with mental health issues. "safe" is also never a guarantee, since anything can happen, and it's up to the players to mitigate risk, not eliminate completely (cause it's impossible"
@@MichikoOkada thats very fair tbh, not heard that varient before
I'm a survivor of Csa, and I kinda appreciate what Cory said. Because I absolutely condemn my abuser and loathe every breath they take, but if certain measures had been in place to PREVENT them from getting to that point, instead of ''dealing with the problem'' after the fact, none of it might have happened. People are 100% responsible for their actions in this regard, but prevention isn't all about creating martyrs and punishing the rule-brakers, it should also include a possibility for people to be responsible and take control of their problem, because this way there is no incentive for individuals like this to seek help. And then stuff like what happened to me will happen, and it could have totally been prevented...
A high school friend of mine realized that problem when he was ~17, he was able to talk to his therapist about it and confided his struggles to his parents and some of his closest friends. We can all help him stay on the right track. He does not want to harm kids, he does not want to be a monster.
I had a friend whose mum worked for a charity that did precisely that - helping people with paedophilic urges to not act on or no longer have them. So, this kind of prevention does exist. It's just not widespread or socially accepted enough to have much of an impact.
As a CSA survivor and a former criminology student, i am a firm believer in preventing such crimes BEFORE they happen, i think its absolutely possible
It makes so much sense that this is a patron voted episode 💀 (and I'm very grateful for their votes combining my two favorite things- science and kink 👀)
Some of the wording in this is top tier. The way they have to avoid certain words or UA-cam will bring down the ban hammer produces some hilarious euphemisms
I think a good idea for the paedophilia discussion would be, if this is not already a thing, to have 2 separate words... 1 for people who have sexual desires towards children, and 1 for the act of someone who has sexually assaulted a child
It’s an interesting thought for discussion, obviously we have CNC which is essentially a R@pe kink, and r@pe is just as much of problem as ped0philia so the kink and thought in itself isn’t really the problem, it’s the acting out of said kink that becomes a problem, (I’ve read studies that argue for it to be classified as a kink but the essential problem that occurs from that is that it’s still wrong and we try not to kink shame ppl but if ped0philia is considered kink then you start blurring the line between healthy kinky sex and toxic child abuse which creates a problem
BOTH ARE BAD THO.
@@Spawn_Media I definitely do not think it should be included as a kink. The difference with CNC is that it's a mutual discussion between 2 consenting adults
@@maddykrantz But the thoughts are not controllable by the person. It probably arises from similar mechanisms as sexualities. And there is many who don't want to act upon the thoughts and try to fight, even within the UK, for proper therapy or to be chemically castrated, but they can't get the help
@@willowdemetriou then I think we are in agreement, the thought isn’t the issue so long as it’s not acted upon and help should be readily available and encouraged for ppl that have those desires. I’d much rather help them mentally before they hurt a kid than to ignore it and only do something after an innocent child has been hurt
BDSM as an acronym is Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Both the D and the S do double duty.
yah, it's really kind of a stupid acronym. Since acronyms don't work that way lol, be better in a lot of ways if it was just listed as 3 separate 2 letter acronyms, BD, DS, and SM. I guess overtime it just felt too easy to push it all together as BDDSSM, BDSM.
Thanks, I always wondered what the other D was.
Makes sense I'd forget discipline though, that's the dom's job 😆
Another thing I think is important to mention is that some people with OCD have sexual intrusive thoughts about children. And even though they're horrified and don't want to act on those thoughts (and they won't), they may still worry that they're a predator, particularly due to stigma and lack of education about the symptom. And if we punish the thoughts in addition to the action, then people who have these intrusive thoughts will suffer for something they can't control that aren't even related to their own sexuality. It's a lose-lose situation imo.
I wanna see the science of why songs get stuck in your head and why you have to play the song to get it out of your head
I actually do have an explanation for that. It may not be correct though
As far as I know it's because our minds want to finish things. So if you have part of a song stuck in your head but can't recall all the lyrics, then your brain just plays what you do know over and over again. and then when you do play the song, it resolves
I have a kink for hickeys and scratches, both giving and receiving. It's just amazing carrying visible marks like trophies.
Before I even knew what sex was-back when I was just in elementary school, I never experienced sexual attraction toward boys or girls but I had fantasies at night where I experienced sexual arousal. I didn’t know it was sexual arousal; I just knew it physically felt good to have these fantasies. Back then it was more innocent where I thought of getting bullied, but I didn’t understand because I was bullied in real life and I hated it; I didn’t *actually* want to be bullied-and I was even close to suicidal in 8th grade because of how bad the bullying got. But even before I knew about sex or became attracted toward anyone, I’d fantasize of humiliation, degradation, discipline, bondage, and submission.
I had a great childhood other than being bullied at school. (It got better in high school, and especially after college. I live a good and happy life now.) These kinks are just innate to who I am. I’ve always felt this way. I’m not quite sure if they’re fetishes for me, but they’re very strong kinks at least.
Yet, I felt so much shame and confusion about all this my whole life. Not only because I didn’t actually want these things in real life (I do value equality and healthy relationships), but because it’s not “normal.” I could only imagine 8 year old me asking my parents why I feel good down there when I thought about being bullied; I was so confused and concerned myself that I never asked or told anyone. I wish we lived in a society where it was ok to openly talk about sex and kink, and allow anyone to come forward with questions or concerns they have without being shamed.
i really hope this doesn't offend you or anything and i am glad you are better now. do you think it was because u were being bullied that it became a kind? like kind of a way to deal with a traumatic or horrible experience.
@@kitenlovar699 Yes, possibly. I believe it is not "officially determined" if trauma causes kinks, but I personally think they do, or at least can, as someone who was also going through something similar as a child and adolescent. People sexually develop younger than typically thought, you could say you are developing sexually (mentally) for basically your entire life (when it comes to maturation) just like your body is growing too. (Don't take this the wrong way, I mean that an individual's sexuality develops at a younger age than people like to admit). For that reason I completely believe trauma and hardships can cause kinks to develop. So to answer your question, yes, some people do believe their kink came from trauma or horrible experiences (not saying the OP of this comment did). (However, some people don't know why they have their kink as they had a childhood without problems like abuse, bullying, etc. )
I remember being in University when Fifty Shades got popular, and quite a few of my friends were outright offended and outraged at the books popularity and how it spreads abusive practises, or even had to reeducate potential partners out of some awful assumptions.
1:06:47 "You meet someone that's older than you and they get you into that and it becomes abusive and you think it's just BDSM"
Yup, that for sure happened to me for over 3 years. I already knew about kink in general and I thought I fully understood consent, but things are absolutely different when someone is (much) older than you and they have vastly more experience, money, and power. And because of the power exchange dynamic, I didn't feel like I could safely talk to anyone about it that actually understood the lifestyle. Sure, anyone vanilla that doesn't know anything about kink would likely call all of it abuse. But if someone with many years of experience in the lifestyle told me it was abuse, it would have really held more weight. If I had more education on sex, consent, healthy relationships, and kink growing up, I would have been able to see all the red flags that were there and avoid years of trauma. One of those situations where not talking about something makes things much more dangerous.
The second I saw this video come up on my recommended I knew that Noah was going to tell the blood kink story
I love how Corey can't imagine kink in other cultures, when so many kinky words are in other languages. Shibari isn't an English word 😉
this is true but shibari isnt always sexual! its also don as an art form
@@Fae_the_faerie kink isn't always sexual. Watch a UA-camr called evie Lupin. She's an ACE kinkster educator. Makes great content!
@@shotosgrandma5937 ooo that's cool thank you for the info!!
I think it's worth mentioning that choking is actually the deadliest kink as far as we know, at least in terms of body count. Evie lupine has some really informative videos about this!
Unpopular opinion: I don't think we should stigmatize non-offending pedophiles who are trying to seek help because it is a paraphila that is pretty much entirely out of the person's control
Absolutely agreed, that’s why my stance is always no hate for pedophiles inherently, just people who abuse, r-pe and hurt others
Agree! Many pedophiles are anti-contact, because they realize how messed up the assault is, so they don't do anything wrong, they just suffer. Some act out, because they are messed up rotten people, mentally ill, but in any way - *stigma of being a pedophile* (not acting on it) *doesn't help fighting against child predators.*
I definitely support this statement. Feelings are not the same as actions and shouldn’t be judged as though they are the same thing
Agreed. It’s kind of like helping people who are drug addicts rather than locking them in jail for possession.
I met a very homophobic furry once. Kinda felt like stereotype whiplash, as in, that's the exact opposite of what I expected.
Do the science of age regression next ! It is very stigmatized and misunderstood, and I am just discovering that I am an age regressor and I want to learn more about myself and I want other people to learn more about it too. 💕🧚♀️✨
I feel the same, prevention and support has to be better than trying to pick up the pieces of hurt people after the fact. It’s behind comprehension to act upon but trying to get help to not act upon urges they didn’t choose to be afflicted with shouldn’t be prevented.
Right. Certain people can get hormone suppressant medication so that their urges don't bother them so much.
I love that Noah quoted 'Brimful of Asha.' That song lives rent-free in my head because ADHD is a wild neurotype. I randomly say "Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow" and get the ODDEST looks from people.
"wild neurotype"
I'm not neurodiverse, I'm neuroWYLD!! *Forgets what I was doing because omg this rock looks so cool it looks like a dinosaur I love dinosaurs I wonder if there have been any new dinosaurs found recently I should look it up oh I should check the time where is my phone again maybe in the bathroom oof it's pretty messy in here I better clean up real quick now where is that bottle of cleaner **-many hours later-** ok time to relax and watch some youtube.... OOO Dinosaurs!! **#rabbitholesintoinfinity**#*
Wait that’s where that comes from? I’ve been saying that for a long time and never knew
Yeah, I've passed out a few times while being choked because it's from blood flow to the brain being shut off not air, and that is why it's easy to kill someone while choking without ever suffocating them.
I remember a old vine, somewhat-ish. "You can't kink shame" "Kink shaming is my kink!" "gasp" On a other note, the word gasp in " is weird looking. Have a good rest of the day. : )
Honestly easier to list the kinks I *don't* have. I'm at the point where vanilla stuff is a fresh, out of the ordinary fantasy for me.
as someone who involves at least some amount of kink in almost all my sex life, soft, sweet, slow vanilla sex can be amazing sometimes
I used to believe "kinksters" was spelled "kingsters" and reffered to drag kings... xD
the conversation around paraphilias was very refreshing and well-put. v good episode.
i think something ppl should be aware of is that not only do not all pedophiles abuse children, but that not all people who abuse children are pedophiles. the intersection of the two is actually pretty small. abuse isn't always about sexual attraction and that's something people should be aware of both to understand and support survivors as well as help prevent harm, because understanding the offenders and what drives them is key in stopping them before they hurt a child.
i wish we as a society stopped using "pedophile" colloquially to mean both "person who is attracted to children" and "person who has sexually abused children", because those two are completely different groups that only sometimes intersect and using the same word for both just complicates the conversation. but people don't seem too keen on "MAP" so idk
MAP??
MAP is literally pedophile as an English acronym
Of the more common kinks regularly practised, breath play (aka choking) is actually by far the most dangerous. It's also the only kink I'm aware of where people often die from complications of taking part in the kink - I know several experienced Doms who won't risk it, & I've heard of even pretty experienced kinksters ending up badly hurting their partners by mistake. Not yucking anyone's yum here, but please, PLEASE be careful y'all - know your risks before you play.
Both 'Stevie Boebi' and Amp & Mr Kristopher from 'Watts the Safeword' have spoken about this on their respective UA-cam channels - I would highly recommend checking out what they have to say, if you'd like to hear info from people qualified to teach about kink, rather than some random person commenting on the internet, lol. (Also, 'Watts the Safeword' in particular has a huge amount of info safe practice of all kinds of kinky stuff, should that be of interest to anyone).
When I was very young, my older family members read 'true crime' magazines, which almost always had terrified looking scantily clad women on the cover, often in some sort of bondage, sometimes with a man looming over then with a knife. I think seeing these images quite often before I even had a sexuaoity sparked an interest in bondage, which was something I didn't experience the reality of until I started going to fetish nights in my 20s, where there was very strict negotiation and consent. When you're exposed to the reality of the modern fetish scene, you quickly realise that it's far from pathological, and much more respectful of participants than most other areas of society. I've seen much more coercion and disrespect while working as a temp in a warehouse than in any dom/sub scene
How can you say "I associate kinks with western cultures" without remembering the existance of Japan?! Just looking at euro/american kinky literature most of it is based on orientalistic tropes from east easia, arabic cultures and india, did those come out of nowhere? Anyway, really nice angle on a super interesting topic! and daring to talk about this on youtube...
"Necrophilia can be carried out in a way that's harmless"-- Cory 2022
Well, I am ok with kinks, but pain terrifies me... Bring on the B, keep away the DSM part 😅.
It is good to be able to speak about kinks with a potential partner, to avoid awful mismatches. Humans are complex creatures, everything is possible.
thats my favorite thing about the comunity. disscussion and negotiations. there is a language with which to discuss experiences and an expectation that you will Before hopping into bed with eachother. as a sex positive ace i dont fit any molds of sexuality so having a language to discuss what i want out of an encounter is valuable.
i listen to your podcast to go to sleep so thanks for the new one!
I found this episode so interesting, love you guys, thankyou so much!!!
Genuine thanks for putting together this episode a well-researched, and more importantly, well-understood manner, especially given the really complex and highly-nuanced topics!! I was so grateful to see things being discussed with respect and open-mindedness. Really appreciating the effort you folks went to to present this in the way that you did.
Bonus points for the correctness chat around choking ^_^
Tying people up 😁 there’s more but this is the vanilla one hahaha
One thing I really wanted to add to the cannibalism talk, was that (personally I'm not wired to care about this, a dead body to me is just that. I feel no connection to have to "honor" the body etc.) BUT for other people, knowing that their father/mother/son/friend's body was used as a "cannibal donation" could cause them significant distress. So in that sense, it *could* be harming people kinda of during their grief process.
Also the Transvestic one differs from the old term given to like drag queens or (falsely of course) given to transgender people. Transvestic specifically refers to when the cross-dressing provides "excessive sexual or erotic interest". I know that should be obviously from the start since it was about paraphilias, but i think some may have missed that distinction. Being a drag queen would not fall into this (no matter what. if being a drag queen is causing you distress for w.e reason, it's still not) it's only when it's also connected to excessive sexual interest.
I still don't think it belongs there, don't get me wrong. (doesn't hurt anyone, including yourself, is private etc) And ya saying it causes some people distress sounds just 100% due to society, not the act itself producing distress at all.
9:25 Noah dropping a nice tune there
Such an interesting topic
Most of taboos around dead bodies have to do with how death is regarded culturally. Some cultures see the dead as "dirty". Others see them as "sacred". Both of this would probably argue that certain contact with the dead body is morally wrong.
In regards to being attracted to certain body parts, in our society a lot of hetero sexual men are attracted to breasts and/or butts, however, if you live in a culture where wearing something on your upper body is just not happening all that often, breasts are way less interesting. So at least in part it's to do with what you can see and what is covered up or not.
So the body part itself seems basically arbitrary. Like, I've read lots of poetically waxing over necks and throats, or hair, or wrists, etc etc.
Y-e-s this is exactly what I need for my research. Finally stood upon this controversial paraphilia talk accidentally, googling this sh is f.cking scary
Found this from twitter if it was almost banned it’s gotta be good so I’m here early 😂😂😂
I haven’t watched yet but I bet this ep is 85% giggling
I paused halfway through this episode for a nap and had a dream that Noah and Corry were singing a song called 'Bad Dinner'.
21:06 cult can refer to a specific branch of a religion: like the Cult of Dionysus, Persephone etc.
No idea about the UK, but in the US there are body farms that exist to study decomposition for forensic purposes and such. A friend of mine has already arranged that when she dies, her body will be transported to one of these
I have borderline personality Disorder and in my research i have found the borderline personality is more likely to have a paraphilia
I'm asexual can confirm it's all weird
I’m vegetarian and also want to try consensual human meat out of curiosity, Corry. We’re not weird, we are scientists ok?
Just prepare fried Jeff Bezos. It's vegan and can feed an entire neighborhood
@@JasminUwU hmmm I don’t really eat junk food but every now and again I guess it’s ok 😝
On the topic of some people possibly just having to live with an urge to eat people: I feel like Beastars really delved into that in an interesting way by having anthropomorphised carnivores who by nature want to consume flesh living with herbivores in an integrated society and the moral implications of it all, so give that a watch/read if you find it interesting.
One potentially major issue with cannibalism however is prions. Now, a very slight majority of the population is resistant to them, which lends evidence to our history of cannibalism as a species, but you'd have to be pretty damn sure that you're part of that group or you're going to have a really awful prognosis after eating someone.
It only really harms the person that is eating people, though. Plus, as far as I’m aware, if you avoid the brain it should be less likely.
It's not legal to sell salmonella-filled meat to someone, so it shouldn't be legal to sell edible human meat if it'll hurt them, either.
@@fozziebean rather they make themselves sick eating human meat that has been legally and consensually provided to them, rather than them exploding from a compulsion they can’t control and killing an innocent person.
The time that they talked about pedophilia, the only thing I could think of, was that in Denmark (were I'm from), there was a Documentary where a man that had pedophilia, talked about it, and that he would never act upon it, but he had these felling for minors, and thought about it, and that he wanted help but couldn't, so yeah. It's a very good documentary but unfortunately it is in Danish and so if you know anyone who can speak Danish then I would say that you should watch it, it's on DRTV - which everyone can visit, and I think it's called "kære mor, jeg er pedofil" which translates to "dear mom, I'm a pedophile"
Is Jamp still a part of this podcast?
No, Jamp has decided to leave the podcast & place their focus elsewhere!
“Cult” is largely determined by numbers. At one point, at least, if your membership is lower than 8000 people.
41:04
I always thought the D stood for degradation
I have most kinks and only one fetish. Clavicules. It's pretty innocent
Some very odd takes on the comments of this one. Of course you guys are going to talk about n*cro and p*dophiles, etc on a podcast about kinks... it's fascinating! Our brains should be hardwired to NOT want those desires. Morality aside, it's can result in death and genetic disadvantages. It's an interesting topic that you guys handled in a well done and funny way. Keep going :)!
And i guess I should add my kink... I like men's ankles. Not even their feet, I'm like an old victorian man lol
I never really considered it before until you mentioned it, but I like men’s calves I suppose! Particularly if they are muscular/ well-defined (but not OVERLY muscular).
The closed captions keeps replacing fetishism with fascism o.o
had you ever heard of the guy who got into an accident, got his foot removed and then ate his foot with his friends in a barbecue?
BDSM is actually an acronym for six things! Bondange & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism. So the ENTIRE acronym would really be "BD DS SM", but since the middle pair of letters overlap we just shorten the whole thing into BDSM... because kinksters are huge fuckin' nerds.
1:00:01 😱
bugs
more than ten
39:48 What you said there is wildly incorrect. The majority of those people never act on it because it harms children. They want to do it with children, but they don't want to harm children. You just never hear them say it because almost everyone will immediately hate them and label them as a groomer if they talk about it. So the only times you'll hear about it is when someone actually harms children.
We've probably all heard stories of some sports instructor who put a hidden camera in the public showers to record the kids showering. There are many reasons why this is wrong (like the lack of consent and for the chance of them sharing/selling the videos). But if they do it without getting caught and they keep it for themselves in a secure and encrypted device, then those children will never know about it and it won't harm them in any way. I believe that is why those things sadly happen so frequently. If they wanted to harm children they would've harmed children. But they don't want to harm children so they do something else.
I just want you to know I left when you said you want to try human meat. Just in case you didn't check the analytics for when it was clicked off, that's what did it... Interesting conversation, but also wtf was that.
Thats why we have laws so break it u pay ti bad if u cant help it you stay in prison sorry dont want u round to hurt us. Hey u control your behavior then no prison needed
Remember when David Caradine was found dead from strangleing hisself during masterbation he just somehow strangled accidently to death ??
They could eat the cuke
“What stops Mormonism being a cult”. As an ex Mormon I say nothing 👀.
nice video. kinky
Its like nipple rings belly button rings thats torture then pulling on them thats torture di why pierce them
While the topic of this video was rather interesting, I personally found the title very misleading. I understand how a discussion about kink can turn into one about paraphilias, however I was disappointed that kink itself wasn't particularly well researched here as there are many more kinks than you guys mentioned, and I assume at least some science about them.
I think you sort of realized this as you were recording, considering that a few times you mentioned that you didn't want to focus too heavily on paraphilias, but you still continued the topic and about 2 thirds to 3 quarters of the episode was about them.
I have many kinks… sheltering your children doesn’t work, it usually only makes them hornier and kinkier when they are adults. Trust me, I’m prime example lol
robotification.. rope a lot... pursuit/being caught... soft femme dom to a little pup... wrestling... boundary pushing... rough anything... drawing
It receives alot of negativity but im into bigger people. Its one of my most guarded secrets because im scared people will think im a sex pest. Its just like wow soft warm. Food is also pretty neat so why not like it? Idk maybe some of yous can let me know if im bad or not.
No it's not bad. People ignore bodily autonomy a lot when it comes to something like that and even other kinks (or even physical attributes found attractive). Some people like the "reverse" of what you like. It's fine. It doesn't make you a bad person. You would be a bad person if you were forcing someone to be big that didn't want to, but no, it's not automatically bad.
@@cutedog6159 thank you so much. Its always so lovely to hear people say stuff like that.
Me I dont like no one hurting me i just want softnesss touch kissing soft.
Woah people who have fetishes have a disability... I mean really though. I feel like that was a profound thought in the first 5 minutes...
It's rather irresponsible of you to teach a "safe" way to choke to your listeners. Choking is always risky and many people doing heavy bdsm choose to not participate in it because they are not comfortable with the risks involved. It's rather worrying how the general public seems to think that choking is pretty close to vanilla, similar in level with light spanking. Anyone interested in it should educate themselves heavily on the topic, and only getting a few second explanation on how to not entirely fuck it up at the get go, is only going to lead to false sense of security
By the way what the fuck is crossdressing
You guys have lost your marbles . You guys lack any empathy whatsoever. This podcast is a hard listen. Sociopathic, much?
Real question why are you subscribed to them if you don’t like them?
How?
Corey honestly said he wanted to eat human meat. Need I say more.
@@vis222 I listen from time to time. Never listened to a whole podcast but this podcast has absolutely shown their true colors. This crossed a line. It’s disgusting.
Coming from someone who, from a quick glance at your channel and videos, has an ableist slur in the title of one of their video, you should listen to your own comment before you hate on these people for talking about science.