"These trees are up to something, but I won't tell the Police..." This almost made me choke to death! Never try to drink and laugh uncontrollably at the same time. :)
Guy points at an onion with his slippery finger. "That's one ugly clam!" The chef comes out of the kitchen with a cake for Guy. "The clams just keep getting uglier!" I have'nt laughed this hard in a long time xD
These bot writings are my entire life's mood, to be honest. When I was a teenager, people used to say, "I can't predict what will you do" to me. Now I'm living up to that comment.
I died when Tex started breaking at "They hold up a child. They switch it to airplane mode. Yes." 🤣🤣🤣🤣 The best of all of this is that I imagine the cowboy Tex from the comics reading this stuff.
What does a child in airplane mode look like? Does it hold it's arms out and make engine noises while running around? Maybe the children are the pilots? That plane is screwed.
Don’t underestimate kids. I learned how to land a 747 in MS flight simulator when I was 12, realism settings on. (Although the passengers would probably shit themselves and the landing might be a little hard, but the plane would make the runway and be able to taxi off.)
If a paint leaking Bob Ross in TV painted me specifically on top of a mountain, I would definitely not be at peace. Although considering the horror connotations I'm now wondering if "at peace" actually means dead.
I connected my laptop to a bluetooth speaker, setup a teamviewer session from my desktop to the laptop and now my desktop plays the sound with a slight delay through the monitor. The resulting delay made Tex sound like GOD and I died laughing at the repent bit.
“They aren’t on your plane.” After seeing some of the Kerbal plane builds that fly through what is essentially brute force I can understand why very few passengers would be on one.
The flight safety video: something from Eric Andre's show The Antiques Roadshow: a college kids attempt at a comedy film Bob Ross: a safe class SCP that puts you in a painting when you watch the video Guy Fieri's triple D: a strange drug trip Seinfeld: Something that could be an actual episode
After thousands of years of innovation, mankind has pooled its knowledge and technical skills to make this: a bot with the mental cohesiveness and writing capacity of a stroke victim. Congratulations, Humanity.
"This plane can't be trusted, but you can." We in trouble yet? "There are two exits on the plane. This one here:" *points to head* Yeah, we're screwed.
" They hold up a child. They switch it into airplane mode. _Yes_ ."
Do I need to switch my hot baby paint to airplane mode, too?
“Drink the blood and smoke the banana. _Yes_ .”
Would be a nice thing to be able to do really. Imagine no crying children on plane.
@@kayleesmith1268 Yes, after the painting is finished.
@@antke1472 People would end up leaving their kids in airplane mode for years at a time.
"They show an oxygen mask. It is not made of oxygen. Why."
Bot is asking the real questions
I kinda got chills when he read that
It's like the bot was legitimately confused on why an Oxygen Mask wasn't made of oxygen
@@calledrocket2653 AI's sound creepily like humans nowadays... stuff like that scares the hell out of me
@@samvsmedia8680 Yeah in a lot of these is eerily seems like it's trying to emulate a sense of humor
@@calledrocket2653 "This is a joker joke."
Also, the mask is coming FOR you. Keep an eye out for that.
They smile. They are not worried. They are not on your plane.
Your plane is curses
What do they know that I do not?
Ryanair passengers when they are finally exiting after flight:
Ah, yes, the Titanic. The *famous water truck*.
Yes, and it was a good water truck until an iceberg hit it
@@naturegirl1999 In Tex voice: It was a good water truck until it wasn't
"Guy has 3 pairs of sunglasses on. The sun can't get him."
I wish I was that cool
Guy is the only one capable of fending of the Daybreak event
@@Sumschmuck I understand this reference
@@theexcaliburone5933 Does The Black Moon Howl?
"Flying is illegal so don't tell"
"I am Pie Fieri." lmfao im dead
I imagine that in the "PICKLLE RIIIIICK" voice
"I'm telling you, he turned himself into a pie. Funniest sh*t I've ever seen."
"Bob stares into the camera. Paint leaks out of him." Someone should animate this. Lmao
They have
Could I get a link to that?
@@an_amazing_ace7810 ua-cam.com/video/S7dEYXo8_XM/v-deo.html
@@afuckingnameplz Thanks, that was a very informative video.
Sounds more like advertisment for new novel by Stephen King.
Some say that old lady has never landed to this day.
That's because the cloud won't help.
She's circling the moon
I feel like that Bob Ross one was just a nightmare being dictated.
True.
That was straight up terrifying.
Or a painting class by Salvador Dali.
Some serious SCP Shit there
Paint *leaks out of Bob Ross*
"The old lady jumps for joy. She never lands." Lmfao
A tragedy, I'm sure.
BlackPantsLegion doesn’t she know that flying is illegal?
"Grandfather will pay for his lies!!"
Autopsy result: Death from laughter
Who knew a bot was this unintentionally good at absurdist humour? Thank you for reading these out loud for us, I really enjoyed them!
you are welcome
These scripts were not mady by a bot. They were made up and written by comedian Keaton Patti. I agree that they’re funny though
@@elmopihkala402 sauce
@@PotatoeJin Just Google the name of the comedian. It's not hard
"The old lady never lands." Tinkerbell sprinkled her with too much pixie dust.
Or Crack
@@theblackpantslegion or both
@@theblackpantslegion pixie dust is purer crack then pure crack
"They smile. They are not worried. They aren't on your plane"
that smiley actor who makes the security videos
I like it
I wished kids had an "airplane mode". But then I realized that's just Flintstones Chewable Tranquilizers. Why's that not a thing?
im wheezing
Laudanum is.
I’ve never laughed so hard in my life
Right? 😂😂😂😂
Pathetic. My lungs exploded and my ribs shattered.
Unicorn meat?
instablaster...
“Baby blue, hot pink, and hot baby” LMAO 🤣
"These trees are up to something, but I won't tell the Police..." This almost made me choke to death! Never try to drink and laugh uncontrollably at the same time. :)
The Monuments Mythos in a nutshell. The "trees" are always up to no good.
the seinfeld one read like an actual episode
horrifying
Better even.
So it looks like AI will plagiarize.
Even with liberty Kramer
Right?
Guy Fire: “Today I will eat it all!”
*IMMEDIATELY TAKES A BITE OF HIS NON-EXISTENT HAIR*
He does have hair tho
Guy points at an onion with his slippery finger. "That's one ugly clam!" The chef comes out of the kitchen with a cake for Guy. "The clams just keep getting uglier!"
I have'nt laughed this hard in a long time xD
Young children must be turned off or placed in airplane mode
*snaps kids neck*
rules are rules.
Rules rule!
That is dark...really dark...but hilarious!
Rules are rules
Good
The Seinfield one was so accurate I almost thought it could have been an actual episode.
REPENT! REPENT! REPENT!
I love these things. its just random enough that you cant ever guess whats going to happen.
These bot writings are my entire life's mood, to be honest. When I was a teenager, people used to say, "I can't predict what will you do" to me. Now I'm living up to that comment.
Bot A.i confirmed as best comedians
If you need help, ask the cloud
The cloud won't help you
The cloud is glowing.
All hail it.
The cloud is bones and bones help nobody
Chunkboi ; All Hail’
I died when Tex started breaking at "They hold up a child. They switch it to airplane mode. Yes." 🤣🤣🤣🤣
The best of all of this is that I imagine the cowboy Tex from the comics reading this stuff.
"There's just enough masks for most people to have enough masks."
hmmm
Sometimes.
Sounds like that famous water truck, the Titanic.
mood
This aged great!
Alexander Holzer yea yes this is him he caused it
3:15 The Appraiser was right
it was more than she can imagine
What does a child in airplane mode look like? Does it hold it's arms out and make engine noises while running around? Maybe the children are the pilots? That plane is screwed.
Don’t underestimate kids. I learned how to land a 747 in MS flight simulator when I was 12, realism settings on. (Although the passengers would probably shit themselves and the landing might be a little hard, but the plane would make the runway and be able to taxi off.)
I believe it means the child likes watching gladiator movies and hanging around Turkish prisons.
"Painting was invented by a tiny bird that wanted to be rich"
mood
But the bird was killed in Sun Tzu's massacre of animals that he had gathered on an ark to perfect the newly invented concept of fighting
Then the bird stole George’s job
it's all coming together
Twitter invented painting?
If a paint leaking Bob Ross in TV painted me specifically on top of a mountain, I would definitely not be at peace.
Although considering the horror connotations I'm now wondering if "at peace" actually means dead.
"The cloud won't help you." is so ominous
"Young children must be turned off or put on airplane mode" man my lungs exploded because of this one
Maybe you have asthma
Are you sure? *I'M OLD*
Grandfather will pay for his lies!
I feel like that’s the logic some old people use. They don’t need to prove their points, instead of doing that they just are *old* .
Fair enough
"A mountain that owes us nothing."
Man, that's deep. The whole Bob Ross part is deep. Don't look to clouds to help you. Don't trust the trees.
The "why"s in the airplane safety video make it sound like the A.I. is becoming self-aware
The 'why' and 'yes' really sold that airline safety skit. 😂
My cheeks and stomach are hurting from laughing so hard. The Bob Ross one was like a horror movie. The rest were just madness. Loved every second 🤣
where the hell did this insanity come from, the old lady with the bones made me cry laughing
"If the water is where the plane chooses to go, don't worry"
"They smile, they are not worried, they aren't on your plane"
Oh, are you?
Still better than most of the programming on television.
Bro the end of the bob ross one is like one of those scary videos that seem innocent at first but when the paint leaks all hell breaks lose
Famous Water Truck
Fuckin hell
The Kramer....I can't
Damnit, the Seinfeld one sounds exactly like an actual episode
I like how the beginning of the text makes some sense, and the farther you get into it, the less it makes sense.
i have never laughed harder in my life bro i almost got fired
I hope you don't work in a funeral home.
@@theblackpantslegion All good just a Mariott!
Then a bird would take your job
I started crying when the old lady referred to the Titanic to a fucking water truck.
poor old water truck
I connected my laptop to a bluetooth speaker, setup a teamviewer session from my desktop to the laptop and now my desktop plays the sound with a slight delay through the monitor.
The resulting delay made Tex sound like GOD and I died laughing at the repent bit.
Someone needs to help that old lady
Maybe, maybe not.
I want her to get her revenge against her grandfather for his lies
@@barbaro267 And for his truths.
Why did "these trees are up to something, i won't tell the police and, Pie Fieri" get me?
*the old lady jumps for joy. she n e v e r l a n d s.*
"Now if water is where the plane chooses to go...
dont worry your seat can float far away from you..."
I want more of these! Excellent narration, unique stories
Some of those scripts are real creepypasta shit. That Bob Ross one alone might spin off a few
The old lady jumps for joy. She never lands.
The Bob Ross story reads like a Meat Canyon parody
“They aren’t on your plane.”
After seeing some of the Kerbal plane builds that fly through what is essentially brute force I can understand why very few passengers would be on one.
Jesus Christ your voice is calming
Sometimes it's also aggravated.
BlackPantsLegion I kinda want you to read me a bedtime story
Why does this remind me of "Welcome to Night Vale"? Love it! I'm having bad day, and this definitely cracked me up.
The bob ross one was genuinely terrifying
WHY DID THE BOB ROSS EPISODE TURN INTO A HORROR MOVIE OH GOD
George will not repent, George will face the consequences
They are not worried. They are not on your plane
I love how existential the flight safety video is.
The belt has no seat..... why?
The Bob Ross one is my favorite.
The Bob Ross one reminded me of Welcome to Night Vale.
I like to imagine all of these botnik texts are all part of the same universe, much like all the DC and Marvel comics.
"The old lady imagine 9 dollars"
I had to pause there, I can't breath..
If I could have one thing in life, it would be for my days to be as interesting as a world created by a bot.
That mountain better owe me something
This is where AI starts to be sentient
It’s asking all the questions
Why is George tho?
This is just a recording of someone's stream of consciousness.
OLD LADY "Grandfather will pay for his lies" gold
It's a nice and funny dub, from a nonsensical and funny text.
I love it
That was a completely normal episode of Diners Drive-bys and Dives.
I love Seinfeld, BTW, but I think I missed that episode.
"Why are you blaming the bird?"
"Who says I'm blaming the bird?"
"You are blaming the bird."
4 minutes into the video, and I can't continue. My face hurts too much.
I don’t know why but this feels like some SCP stuff.
That Bob Ross one was written like a creepypasta
I'm fairly certain the bots are on better shit than we can afford.
Staring at My bob ross poster while listening to this is truly horrifying 😂
Bob Ross just sealed someone in his magical picture for eternity
Your voice really is insanely soothing.
thanks
“And hot baby”
Why don’t you take a seat right here
Guy fieri saying “that’s one ugly clam” almost sounds like something he’d say which is terrifying.
The guy fieri bit was just an average episode
Everyone in the exit row👁👄👁
The flight safety video: something from Eric Andre's show
The Antiques Roadshow: a college kids attempt at a comedy film
Bob Ross: a safe class SCP that puts you in a painting when you watch the video
Guy Fieri's triple D: a strange drug trip
Seinfeld: Something that could be an actual episode
Holy crap, the Bob Ross episode is like something straight out of the SCP Foundation!
After thousands of years of innovation, mankind has pooled its knowledge and technical skills to make this: a bot with the mental cohesiveness and writing capacity of a stroke victim.
Congratulations, Humanity.
"Grandfather will pay for his lies"
Grandma, no!
That Bob Ross creepypasta, though...
Prove to me u can panini lmaoooo🤣
these trees are up to something, but i won’t tell the police
I can see that episode of Seinfeld being a lost script that hadn't been flushed out.
"This plane can't be trusted, but you can."
We in trouble yet?
"There are two exits on the plane. This one here:"
*points to head*
Yeah, we're screwed.
This is pretty amazing will you make any more of these episodes? cause they are solid gold when it comes to quick entertainment
I will given enough time
The Seinfeld episode sounds soooo f'in accurate! LOL!!!
I love how this guy is just losing it laughing 😂